All In A Day's Work
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The weather in Washington was miserable. The wind and snow pelted the city making it rather difficult to move, resulting in a slow day for all. The weather only shifted to a warning level on the news stations early in the afternoon, keeping Gibbs’ team stuck in the office. So their task at hand now was to catch up on the paper work and do any cleaning, organizing and whatnot they had neglected. Knowing that eventually they would become restless from their busy work, Gibbs decided to slid out of the bullpen.

Down stairs in autopsy, they were in the same situation, trying to find busy work. Ducky and Palmer decided that their area needed some serous cleaning up and restocking.

During their cleaning, they come across an item that they had pulled out of a body during the summer. The now shiny pink plastic bow tie, that was taken out of the poor fellow's large intestine, remained there because of it'd unnaturalness. It had nothing to do with the cause of death or the case, it was just there. Jokes of increasing the ages on some toys were made and stories of childhood accidents were rooted from the discovery. The object strange and unusual had always posed the question as to the reason why it was in the body to begin with.

“Dr Mallard,” Palmer spoke up not enjoying the silence, “you have been a medical examiner for so long … not saying that you are ah really old or ... or that there is ah ... a problem with your age or the … the duration of your profession…”

“Spit it out Mr Palmer.” Ducky interjected. That boy real need to learn to stop being so awkward, he though as he dropped his gaze again to his tools.

“Seeing that you have seen so many things in this career,” he says holding out the pink tie “do you still have that, well that element of surprise? For the job that is as life can always throw a …”

“Yes, mister Palmer there is always the occasional “surprise” or puzzle that occurs in this field of work. And yes there are times went a dead body is just a dead body and not a murder. I recall a time when I was just a lad and beginning my career as a Medical….”

Oh no why did I have to open my mouth. I had to break the stillness of it all. But now I have to listen cause he might bring it up one day. Ahh.

Noticing Ducky’s now quiet Palmer threw in a non too enthusiastic “Oh.”

“And some time it is a murder. However, sometimes these murder cases are not so well planed or hidden.” Ducky was now in deep thought and was taking a seat on a near by stool. “Once, before you arrived here we had a murder case that appeared typical and straight forward. Some agents dislike that and they went on a witch hunt, for more details and leads.”

Ducky’s story went on and on and Palmer just new it was going to be just a plan - I’ll kill, I did, now I’m in jail case. This was leading the young man to boredom. Let’s toss him another question. “What about the bodies Doctor?" he said interrupting. "Besides the cause of death do they ever become surprising?” What the hell kind of question was that, he asked himself. “Like when we had that one man had a toe for a thumb?”

Ducky looked stumped and yet like he was holding back. “Well I can ... No, no.. Never mind dear boy.” Ducky’s eyes focused away from Palmer.

See his superior’s reaction peeked his interest. “No doctor, I would like to hear. I worry sometimes that this job could become rather dull over the years. I would enjoy hearing about the odd cases.” Yip that should start him up again, he is my mentor as it is.

“Well you see …it is not a body I … that I saw as a subjective corpse.” Ducky was every where in his train of though “But, well not everyone I work on is dead … I work on the occasional living … well it is to say, while working here one live body threw me for a loop.”

“Like a women?”

“No. No Mr Palmer! Not a women. Where is you mind now a days?” The irritation building in the older man coming to a point.

“A man then?” Palmer pried.

“Oh dear,” looking at the clock above the door, as if there was a deadline to meet “lets just finish our work Mr Palmer.”

Seeing that the doctor did not feel comfortable, softy Palmer replied “Okay. Don't fret Doctor. I noticed we are low on cotton…”

“I'll never forget it." Ducky started again. "Every time I see him sometimes it runs into my mind. That image. I didn't expect it at all. Yes from his height and build I could have made an average guess. But even that would have been off.” Ducky blurted as he returned to his seat as he fought internally to work or share this … this obscurity with his young assistant.

Seeing him so flustered Palmer was on the case again to solve this strange anomaly. “Did the man have a bad a disfigurement? Or a uncommon physical trait?”

“You seen it your self Jimmy!” Ducky’s head shot up looking Palmer in the eye.

“Seen what? Seen who?” Palmer was dumbfounded, he called me Jimmy and he thinks I have seen what he saw.

The doctor checked around the room as if there was more then himself and his assistant there. “McGee” he whispered. “That time with the poison ivy. That first time went he came down here and he had it all over his face arms and his … and his … oh dear I can’t believe I am acting like this.”

Then that moment came back to Palmer, like a Gibbs slap to the head. “Oh yes. Yes. His …”

Cut off just in time “Yes Mr Palmer his… Anyways I have to say in all my work, I have never seen anything of that nature. Yes some men are well endowed, others average and others not so much so. But for young Timothy, he has truly been given quite a gifted.”

“I have to say doctor, I recall the event and I agree to your assessment of McGee. The only time I have seen anything of that nature is in adult entertainment.” Why did I have to say that, he question himself as he turned a few shades darker.

“Oh yes, I suppose one would see something of that “nature” in such media. Anyways lets again change the topic ...”


“Oh God.” Tony said crying in fits of laughter and holding his sides. That is not what he expected to hear, ever.

Ziva’s eyes were wide and in shock.

Abby looked sly and knew exactly was the two men were talking about. Oh yeah.

What a time to be testing the cameras and microphones in autopsy.

McGee was sitting still in his chair. Not saying a word. Or moving a mussel. When the conversation was taking a turn of interest of what was bothering Ducky the team gathered around his desk and they brought up the image and sound on the plasma. But when the dear doctor brought up his name, Tim quickly tried to shut down the system to no avail as his loving team refrained and restrained him. Now here he was gagged and cuffed to his chair witnessing his team hearing a very personal piece of information.

“Well, well.” Tony chirped in. “I am a loss for words. There is so much I could do with that information.”

Tim could see the wheels turning in Tony’s twisted mind.

Abby jumped up off McGee's desk and sat in on Tim lap. “Oh McGee. If he says anything people will either think he is jealous or that they shouldn’t be talking to him, but you! I know the ladies will. And maybe a few men I know.”

Abby slowly undid his gag only, as she expected him to react rather hasty and angry to what they did. “Okay, okay that is enough.” McGee final said as he was free from the gag.

“Someone should had said that to mother nature on your behalf, Probie.” Tony always had to throw in the punches.

“Well right now I am speaking.” Gibbs barked as he appeared with impeccable timing “And I am saying get back to work. Ziva uncuff McGee.”

As she kneel down beside him and like Abby the Mossad officer slowly undid his restrains she softly spoke in his ear “To him,” she tilted her head towards Tony “you are Probie. But any day you wish I can be your probie.” She brushed her hand across his shoulders as she walked way McGee turned deep crimson and tried to refocus himself.

“Hey McGee,” Gibbs called out from his desk, catching the attention of his team “next time you check into the security system wear headphones. Your "news" seems to have distracted this whole floor.”

When McGee looked up many women from the floor and the upper level, were looking at him and whispering with smiles on their lips and lust in their eyes. Oh God, he thought.

“No worries McGeek. Remember rule 12 only applies to the team. You should be thankful for that.” Tony quirped.

"Yeah, thankful. See Tony this is why I never talk about my personal life at work." McGee replied with a sigh.