He had told her to go into the drawer, she had permission. He was having the other's collar adorned to celebrate his first year of service to Him. She felt honored that He would trust her to do this. But she faced a dilemma, there were three flat hinged boxes that He had lovingly crafted out of wood, one held her own collar and another held the other's but whose was the third? And which box was the other's? He was normally the only one to open this drawer.

She opened one tentatively and breathed a sigh of relief to see her own beloved leather collar nestled on a bed of black velvet, adorned with two beautiful onyx charms. She carefully closed this box and opened another. Again nestled in black velvet sat the other's unadorned leather collar, she had no need to open the other box. But she wanted to. Her fingers itched to open it.

Her curiosity won out and she gently opened the cover. She was surprised to see not black velvet but a vivid emerald green, and nestled inside it the most breathtaking collar she had ever seen. Crafted not out of leather but sterling silver it was a work of art. The entire circumference was made up of silver wire knotted into beautiful Celtic designs. It was a thick and heavy piece. Adorning it were four-leaf clovers in silver, five of them sporting large, beautiful green stones that she didn't even hesitate to think were emeralds. It was pristine and showed no sign of tarnish, He must take care to polish it. This was obviously a very special piece for someone very important to Him but who?

Closing the box carefully she completed her task and closed the drawer, but the question kept tumbling in her mind.

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She knew that her supervisor had called Director Sheppard and requested NCIS's help on several of her cold cases but her nerves were a little on edge actually walking into the building. The building that she had walked out of years ago and not looked back on. The guard confirmed her appointment and she was escorted to the Director Sheppard's office.

She found the Director to be pleasant and professional, and seemed genuinely enthused about the FBI and NCIS working to close some of the overlapping cold case files. As they spoke she studied the woman a little, she had heard He, and he was always He in her mind, had a past fling with Director Sheppard. Somehow though she didn't think that the Director played His favorite games or even knew about them.

Jen Sheppard knew about her of course, and the circumstances of her history with NCIS, but not everything. She had also reviewed her FBI service record and found her to be an outstanding agent, although it was noted on more than one occasion that she didn't play well with others. Given that she worked well with Gibbs in the past she didn't find that to be a big surprise.

Knowing that Gibbs was in court this morning Jen left her with Tony DiNozzo to get acquainted and see where they should start.

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Tony groaned inwardly, another gorgeous redhead and FBI to boot. Gibbs was going to be unbearable. He tried to make nice with her but she seemed nervous, and kept looking at the clock. What was she waiting for so impatiently?

She was crouched down fishing through the box of files that she had brought with her when the entire bullpen heard Gibbs make his exit from the elevator, barking orders. She dropped her head and took a deep cleansing breath, not realizing that Tony was watching her.

As Gibbs approached his desk he had coffee in one hand, and his court notes in the other, she stood up.

The entire bullpen was treated to Gibbs stopping dead in his tracks, speechless.

She didn't say a word, just stood there with her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest, gritting her teeth.

Neither of them smiled, and their eyes were ice.

No one understood what was going on between them, but no one dared disturb it and the silence stretched out into minutes.

"Evie?" it came out of his mouth as a half-croaked whisper. No one had ever heard a sound like that come out of Gibbs mouth.

She opened her mouth to say something but nothing would come out and she closed it again. She thought she had been prepared to see him. She was wrong. Her whole body started shaking and her flight reflex kicked in. She broke the eye contact, grabbed her bag and bolted out of the bullpen.

She unfortunately managed to get herself lost and she was in a full blown panic attack. She somehow found the ladies locker room and was able to get inside before her knees gave out totally. She sat there trying not to hyperventilate and come down from the anxiety.

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Gibbs watched her go. He finally threw his files on his desk and turned around to head back to the elevator, taking a moment to glare at Jen on the stairs as he did. He needed to get out of there, away from everyone, had to get his emotions under control. Evie. Here. After all these years?

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Tony didn't even ask, just gave a passing nod to Jen as he headed for the stairs taking two at a time. He got to the parking lot just in time to see Gibbs speed away. Trying to catch his breath he called Abby.

Hearing him wheezing Abby was worried, "DiNozzo what's wrong. Tony? Are you hurt?"

"Abs holy hell just broke loose in the bullpen can you track Gibbs' car's GPS and tell me where he's gone to?

"Yeah sure doing it now. But what happened love?"

Tony explained what he had witnessed, not that it made any sense to either of them. Abby volunteered to look up Agent Eveline McFergus's history and let him know if she found anything. Gibbs' car had stopped and she relayed where he was to Tony, both of them thinking his stop was very odd.

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Tony pulled his car in next Gibbs' and looked around. Gibbs was at an empty playground. Tony saw him sitting on a bench just staring at nothing. He walked over to him. He sat on the other end of the bench but didn't say anything. He was here to listen, to support his boss, his friend, his lover, his Master.

Tony could see the tears Gibbs was desperately trying to hold back and when Gibbs spoke the sorrow in his voice cut Tony to the core. "I kissed her for the first time up against that tree." he waved his hand towards it. "It was a beautiful day and the sun just made her hair look like fire. " Gibbs smiled at he memory while a silent tear ran down his cheek. "She was my first redhead. She was so beautiful, is so beautiful." He trailed off lost in a memory.

Tony just listened. It was what Gibbs needed. Gibbs who always instinctively knew what Tony needed, always able to give it to him, to take him down, to take him out of his own head and force him to focus, and now Gibbs needed him. Tony wasn't entirely prepared for what Gibbs said next, it was just so not Gibbs.

"I loved her more than anyone or anything in my whole life. I needed her more than breathing. And she loved me, or at least I thought she did. And she just left. Left the job, left the state, left me. And I haven't seen her in fifteen years."

Tony knew Gibbs hated talking about His feelings and found it strange that He could so easily proclaim these deep emotions for Evie. To him it signified the level of trust that He had in Tony and he took it as an honor.

"God Tony I should hate her, but all I wanted to do was touch her, make sure she was real."

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The noise level in the bullpen back at NCIS was growing back towards normal. There was a lot of hushed whispering as people tried to figure out what exactly happened between Gibbs and that woman. No one had ever seen Gibbs like that before.

Jen picked up her phone and verified that Eveline had not left the building and had security scan the cameras to find her location and then headed off to the ladies locker room.

She found Eveline sitting on the floor with her arms around her knees rocking back and forth staring at some random point on the floor, totally lost in her own world.

"Agent McFergus?" Jen said quietly.

When she didn't get a response she tried again, "Eveline?"

Again no response, so she tried again, "Evie?"

She saw the other woman scrunch up her face trying not to cry and heard her say in a small hurt voice, "Please don't call me that. He's the only one that calls me Evie."

Jen had known Gibbs a long time, as partners, friends, and lovers. She saw the hurt in his eyes when he left earlier, and had heard the longing in his voice when he called out to Evie. She didn't understand it though, because he had never said anything to her about having a relationship with Evie. She sat down near her and leaned up against the lockers.

"How about I stick to Eveline?"

Evie nodded and Jen continued, "Gibbs and I have been friends for a very long time Eveline and he's never mentioned knowing you."

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Abby was diligently ready through everything she could find on Eveline and still couldn't put the pieces completely together. Everything from the FBI showed she was a good agent, and

the only odd thing was a two-year medical leave fifteen years ago.

The earliest thing she was able to find was a mention of her at some big multi-agency conference twenty-years ago. Abby was pleased that they had a picture of all the participants and was shocked to see Evie standing next to a very familiar face, Gibbs. They looked so young and both had this little smile like they had a secret they weren't sharing.

Trying to follow up on that two-year absence what she read about made her almost physically ill.

Fifteen years ago the FBI was working a case involving a serial rapist/murderer. He had tortured, raped and killed eight women before turning his sights to female naval personnel and his death count rose to twelve. The task force was huge utilizing the combined talents of the FBI and the NCIS. Abby was surprised to find both Gibbs and Eveline's names on the task force list, as they were both junior agents at the time.

The decision had been made to use a decoy to see if they could draw out the killer, and Eveline volunteered, and the lead investigators all agreed because she fit the victim profile perfectly. There was a footnote mentioning that Gibbs had violently protested using her but it did not go into his reasoning why and that he had been overruled.

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"We met at some boring inter-agency conference twenty years ago when I first started with NCIS. They had randomly put teams of five together and she and I ended up on the same team. Good thing too because I would have killed the other three morons by the end of the first day. But she was smart and funny and kept the peace."

He chuckled, "She had them eating out of her hand. Me she just kicked under the table to help me keep my mouth shut. The minute we broke for lunch she snagged my arm and dragged me out of there and we ended up here after grabbing a couple hot dogs. She was so full of life and though I had only known her a few hours I wanted her more than any woman I had ever met. And I kissed her, up against that tree. Then she turned around and kissed me up against that one."

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"No He probably wouldn't have. It was a long time ago. A lifetime ago." Evie said softly.

"How long has it been since you've seen him?" Jen prompted, hoping to get the other woman to talk. She knew they had both been involved in the Stetson case fifteen years ago and how that ended but didn't know if they had a personal relationship outside of the case. Gibbs had never said anything.

"Fifteen years."

"Were you romantically involved?"

Evie gave her a wry little smile, "Direct aren't you? Yes, we were. And rumor has it that we have that in common."

Jen chuckled, "We're both professional interrogators I figured I would cut to the chase. And between you and me, he and I did have something a long time ago but have stayed friends. And I have to tell you I've never seen him like that before. Is there something I should know? As his friend who cares about him."

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Abby read page after page of case notes and summaries for the Stetson case, and found that in a nutshell the FBI screwed up the operation and Evie was kidnapped by the suspect and spirited away without a clue. She was held for ten days during which she was systematically tortured and raped, beyond anything he had done to previous victims.

And although the official reports didn't outright say it Abby read between the lines to figure out that Gibbs went rogue. He found where she was being kept and proceeded to shoot the suspect in the head at close range, very close range, as in millimeters.

The official reports said that he was still working with the task force to bring Agent McFergus home but the unofficial case notes showed that Gibbs punched out the lead FBI investigator the night she was taken and gave his badge and gun to his supervisor. He then spent the next ten days not eating or sleeping until he found her. His NCIS teammates were concerned enough about his behavior to document it in their notes. And more than one had commented that they thought his feelings for Evie went far beyond the professional.

Abby was getting a sick feeling in her stomach as a memory of silver and five emeralds flashed in her mind.

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"There is a lot more to tell but I want to show you something and I need a drink. Let's go back to my house." Gibbs said to Tony.

He needed to share this with Tony. Tony never judged Him, just accepted and supported. He would understand Gibbs' pain. Abby was also His but Gibbs' level of trust was different with Tony. The two men gave Abby their warm, playful, loving sides. To each other they gave their pain, their anger, and their frustrations. They could be rough if they needed it, they could fuck until they were raw, both physically and emotionally. And if there was ever a day that Gibbs needed Tony today was it.

They reached the house and went inside. Tony followed Gibbs silently up the stairs to his bedroom. Gibbs waved him in the direction of the bed, "Sit. I want to show you something."

Tony sat, carefully watching Gibbs. When he saw what drawer Gibbs was heading for he had to take a breath and concentrate on not falling. He knew what was in that drawer, and had known for a year.

Gibbs removed one of the flat hinged boxes from the drawer and Tony saw a fresh flash of pain cross his face. He walked to the bed and sat down next to Tony, the box held carefully in His hands.

"I was honest with you and Abby when I told you that I only ever had one other before you." Gibbs handed Tony the box and said, "Open it."

Tony held the box reverently not knowing what to expect. He looked over at Gibbs and down to the box. He slowly opened the top and the sight of the silver collar lying on its bed of green velvet took his breath away. He took in the Celtic design and the clovers and the light bulb went off over his head. He ran a gentle finger over the five beautiful stones realizing what they signified to Gibbs.

"McFergus." he said softly.

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"Director Sheppard I'm sure you've at least glanced at my file. You know about the Stetson case and my part in it."

"Please call me Jen, I left the Director back in my office. I am familiar with the Stetson case. I can't just begin to figure out what to say to you about that, everything I think of sounds trite."

"Jen I think you and I were cut from very similar cloth. There really is nothing anyone can say or do for that matter. It happened, he's dead, and the world kept spinning."

Jen thought about that for a second and said quietly, "But it didn't keep spinning did it?"

"No."

Jen had read the file, knew that although never spelled out that Gibbs had found her and executed the suspect, well beaten him to a pulp then executed him with a bullet to his brain. Jen suspected that a lot of things got left out of the official reports, and that the FBI was just glad to get Evie back alive, and get that psychopath off the street one way or another.

"How long were you together before the case?"

"Five years."

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Abby checked her boy's GPS and was relieved to see them both at Gibbs' house. Her mind was reeling from everything she read. She had put a good number of pieces together and just wanted to hug Gibbs, and Evie for that matter. She wanted to go to Him after work and give Him her support but somehow she knew that it was Tony that He needed tonight. She knew that they had a different bond than she had with Him. It was more primal, more aggressive. And if her outrage over what she read burned that brightly she couldn't even begin to imagine what Gibbs' emotions were. And Tony was better equipped to handle an on the edge Gibbs.

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Tony looked from the contents of the box to meet Gibbs' eyes. The pain he saw there made Tony's stomach knot.

"Do you know about the Stetson case?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Tony thought hard for a minute and ventured, "Serial rapist/murderer wasn't it?"

"Yeah. Let's go downstairs I need to show you something in the office."

Tony carefully closed the box and respectfully handed it back to Gibbs. He saw Him caress the case gently before placing it back in the drawer and he also saw Him ball His hands into fists after He closed the drawer. Tony could sense the rage and frustration rolling off of Gibbs in waves.

They headed down to the office and Gibbs had Tony sit and from a locked drawer he pulled a thick case file that he handed to Tony. Leaving him to read Gibbs went to locate some liquor.

Tony quickly went through the case file trying to keep a detached perspective, but the crimes were heinous. And they got worse as his victim count grew. He immediately picked up Gibbs name on the task force when the victims started becoming female naval personnel. He also found Agent McFergus listed. And when he read about the botched operation where Evie was taken he now understood Gibbs' complete hatred of all things FBI.

From what Tony was able to determine it was complete incompetence on the part of the lead investigator, there just wasn't enough surveillance on her to protect her and he refused to allow Gibbs to shadow her. The suspect somehow realized that it was a sting and he planted a small explosive device a block away from Evie's position and when it went off Stetson was able to snatch her in the middle of the confusion.

The report in the file of her ten-day captivity and subsequent rescue by Gibbs was weak on details. And Tony had been around long enough to see a cover-up when he saw one. But why?

The last thing he found in the folder was a series of photographs of Evie, Tony couldn't believe she lived. There wasn't a square inch of skin on her body that hadn't been cropped, whipped, switched, or burned with candle wax. He just couldn't put this in perspective with the woman that was standing in front of his desk earlier.

He studied the photos a little more, trying to process it all when he noticed something, there were small round bubbled areas on the photos. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath when he realized what had caused it, Gibbs' tears.

He put the file back in the drawer and scrubbed his face with his hands then walked out to he living room.

He found Gibbs sitting on the couch just staring at a spot on the carpet, a glass of bourbon in hand. The bottle was on the coffee table and there was another glass beside it with three fingers already poured for Tony.

Tony took the glass and sat in the armchair across from Gibbs. He regarded the other man carefully for a long moment then asked, "So do you want to tell me what's not in that report that's killing you inside?"

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"Five years?" Jen asked skeptically. None of Gibbs other relationships, including his three ex-wives lasted anywhere near that long. In fact his three marriages put together didn't add up to five years.

"We met at a conference and hit it off. One thing led to another and five years later we were still together. We just clicked I guess."

"I have to ask, why didn't you two get married?"

"No reason to. We were faithful to each other and didn't need a piece of paper to prove it. Plus we wouldn't have been allowed to work together on cases. And in reality we really did make a good team investigatively when we collaborated. But it was something we had thought about."

"So what happened today?

"I left the East Coast after I got out of the hospital. I went to Seattle and I haven't seen Him since. It wasn't a good ending. Actually it wasn't an ending at all. I ran. Like I did today." She took a deep breath and stood up. Jen stood up with her.

Jen suspected that there was much more to it than that, she sensed that there was something about their relationship that went far beyond them just being lovers. She had seen Gibbs' with other past lovers that he had bad endings with and none of them had caused the pain she saw in his face earlier.

"Director, thank you for listening. I'm um, going to get some air. I will send someone from my office to pick up the boxes of files. I think it will be better to have a different agent as liaison with NCIS on the cold cases under the circumstances."

"Agent McFergus…Eveline, I just want to say I'm sorry. Sorry about everything that happened. I'll speak with your supervisor and put this in a way that doesn't reflect badly on you. It's just a very awkward situation, he will just have to understand."

She actually got a real grin out of Evie, "Director I appreciate that. Don't worry too much about it though, I'm pretty bulletproof at the agency. Given everything that happened they give me a lot of leeway, and short of killing my superior I can get away with just about anything." And then she added cockily, channeling Gibbs, "Besides I am a great agent that cleans up a lot of old FBI screw ups in cold case. But I'll deny ever saying that."

Jen extended her hand, "I understand. And listen, if there is anything you need, anything, please call me."

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----------

Abby was a bundle of nervous energy. As the day wrapped up and she left her lab she realized that she didn't want to go home. And she didn't think her place was at Gibbs' either. She found herself driving and on a whim heading for the park where Tony had found Gibbs earlier. She was surprised to see someone sitting alone on one of the benches, someone with red hair.

Abby took a deep breath and got out of the car and headed over to the woman.

Evie was lost in her own thoughts and although she registered that someone had sat down on the other end of the bench she didn't look.

"Agent McFergus?" Abby asked quietly.

Evie turned to see the younger woman and was momentarily taken aback by the her goth appearance, "I'm sorry do I know you?"

"Um no, I work for NCIS. In the forensics lab. I'm Abby."

Evie was still confused as to why Abby was there, it was too weird to be coincidence. "Do you come here a lot Abby?"

"No. I was just driving and decided to stop."

"Any particular reason?"

Abby blurted out without thinking, "Because He came here earlier and I wanted to know why."

Evie raised an eyebrow and asked, "He being?"

Abby looked down at her hands and said softly, "Gibbs."

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"I should have protected her. I should have ignored that jackass and shadowed her that night." Gibbs eyes met Tony's.

"You couldn't have known what Stetson was going to do."

"My gut told me that the whole thing was wrong. It was wrong for her to do it, wrong for me not to shadow her, wrong for there not to be more surveillance. Everything about it was wrong. But no one would listen."

Tony could see the guilt that Gibbs carried and now understood why he was so protective of his team, and why he always went with his gut rules be damned. But Tony wanted the story, wanted Gibbs to give him all of it, and once Gibbs did if He shattered, if He were broken Tony would put Him back together like He had done for Tony so many times and so he said with a touch of steel in his voice, "So what happened?"

Gibbs was surprised by Tony's tone and was pleased and relieved, Tony had Him. "Right after the explosion and we realized that she was missing the jackass had the audacity to say that it was her own fault for not aborting when we all heard the explosion. I didn't even think, I just reacted and he was out cold on the ground and I had three men holding me back from killing him. My superior got to the scene and I handed him my badge and service weapon and I left."

He took a sip of his drink and continued, "It took me ten days to find her. Everyone else gave her up for dead. But I knew she was alive, I would have known if she were dead. It was actually her notes that lead me to them. She had interviewed Stetson early on in the investigation and she had a notation near his name. CF10. Stood for Creep Factor of ten. She had liked him for the murders early on but there wasn't any evidence linking him to four of the victims and the jackass insisted that he wasn't the guy. It was how Stetson knew it was a setup, he recognized her."

Tony saw Gibbs clench and unclench his fist as he spoke.

"I went to his house and when I identified myself he laughed, the bastard laughed, and asked me if I was missing something."

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