„You Will Not Die!"



Gibbs sat on the beach and looked out onto the blue water. It probably was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. But now it wasn't anymore. Now this place, just like DC, meant only loss to him. He looked down at his hands. The bracelett in one, a gun in the other. It wasn't really difficult to get a gun, he was in Mexico.

He looked at the ocean again and felt pulled back in time. Last time it was lake, but it was water. Something in him told him he had to die near water. Was that the Marine in him? Probably not, because if you look closely at it Marines didn't spent much time at sea.

Sometimes he thought back on the time he had nothing to live for. No children, no wife, no lover. Just a job. He was fighting every day, but it wasn't his battle. He went on because that's what he was doing. He went on in the foolish hope that some day there would be something to live for.

Now he sat here ready to kill himself because he had found it. A child, a wife and after them a lover. And he had lost everything. Was he really giving up? Or was he just accepting the path fate had for him fifteen years ago and he was just too stubborn to go it?

Maybe he would be able to go on. Like he had for ten years. Without reason. Not living. Just alive. He had exsisted for ten years and still he had had hope that he would find a reason again. Sometimes he had thought he had found it. He had thought he was in love. He had married, got divorced. And he had no reason.

And then he walked into isolation at Bethesta Naval Hospital. He stepped up to the bed of one of his team members. All the time since Tony opened the letter he had been fighting. He had been fighting Tony's battle because he couldn't fight it himself. As always. But then he saw the dark shadows around the younger man's eyes. He felt his heart implode in his chest and when he leant down he heard the rustle of his lungs.

„You Will Not Die."

He said pointedly and hoped that what he actually wanted to say was delivered. He knew that this was not an order. It was a plea. He was begging the younger man to fight the battle he couldn't fight. His battle.



He once more looked down at the bracelett in his hand. He had found his reason. And he had let it go. The bracelett he had given the younger man one year after the infection. A constant reminder on the order he had given him. The plea.

It was only a few hours earlier that Tony had shown up at the house. Mike was gone at the Cantina. Gibbs had asked Tony to come inside but the younger man refused. He had said he had a plane to catch and only wanted to give him something back. Materially he had given him the bracelett. Metaphorically he had given him his heart. Shattered as it was.

And now he sat here alone staring at the hypnotic ocean. He still had a reason. His reason was still there, in DC. Reluctantly he saved the gun and put it on the sand. Slowly he stood and put the bracelett into the chest pocket of his shirt. Maybe he would finally take the path fate had lain out for him. But not today. He had to make sure that the younger man doesn't forget to fight his battle.

He still had a reason to die for. A reason to kill for. But not himself.

In a wave of new motivation he was packing his stuff, which wasn't much. A few cloths. He had already slung his seabag over his shoulder and was at the door when something hit him. What if Tony didn't want him to come back?

For the younger man he obviously was a closed case and they never went back to closed cases. He had to go after the amnesia and looking at it now Tony probably even understood that. With the pain of losing his family as fresh as it had been yesterday Gibbs couldn't go back to what he had with Tony. First he had to come to terms with himself. He had to realize that it wasn't wrong to love somebody else fifteen years after their death. He hadn't forgotten them and that would never happen.

He let the bag drop on the floor and sat on the bed. He recalled a conversation he had had with Shannon shortly before he went to Panama.




„If I don't come back, I want you to find somebody you really love. I want you to be happy again."

She looked at him with her beautiful green eyes which shone with unshed tears.

„Ok..."

She nodded slowly into her pillow.

„But you have to promise me that if anything happens you'll do the same."



He had promised her and ten years after her death he had found this someone. He had felt guilty with every one of his ex-wives. And he had felt guilty with Tony. That feeling became even stronger when he realized that with Tony it was for real. The younger man was no distraction. He was the second love of his life. And second didn't mean that he loved Tony any less, it just meant that he loved for the second time in his life. And for two years he had considerate himself a lucky man. And then he had lost his memory.

He had remembered Shannon and Kelly and mourned for their death once more. How could he explain Tony what he had been feeling? How could he explain that the loss of them was now just as overwhelming as fifteen years ago? How could he explain that he had to find out how much Tony meant to him again?

He knew deep in his heart that Shannon would have liked Tony. Kelly probably would have loved him. He remembered the day the team had played with the computer program and created an image of his and Jenny's imaginary daughter.

„Even with Gibbs as a father I'd date her."

Tony had said.

„Only once, DiNozzo."

Gibbs had given back. The girl on the screen looked just the way Gibbs had imagined Kelly to look when she was grown up. Maybe he wouldn't have been the one in Tony's bed. But if they hadn't died, he wouldn't have become a Special Agent and he would never have met Tony.

He sighed and leant back on the bed. There was no way to explain Tony. Not anymore. He had waited too long and his last chance of getting back into his life was gone when Tony stepped into that plane.

Two months later.


Gibbs stood at the top of the stairs and watched his team. Much had changed in his absense. The way the truck was organized was only a small thing. The people had changed.

„Thinking of the good old times?"

He barely turned his head as the younger man stepped next to him, immitating his position leaning on the railing of the stairs.

„Old times, yeah. Good...sometimes."

From the corner of his eyes he saw Tony check if anybody was in earshot.

„I think we should talk. You know...not here...somewhere private."

This time Gibbs looked at him but Tony watched McGee banter with Ziva. The older desperately tried to surpress the hope coming up in his heart.

„Tony..."

„Not here."

Tony turned to him and gave him a pointed look.

„Ok. But tell me one thing...is it wrong to hope for an happy ending when you're watching Titanic?"

A small smile came to Tony's face. He knew that Gibbs was refering to the nights they've spent in Tony's apartment when he was recovering from the plague. They had gone through all Tony's dvd collection and Gibbs had brought movies from the video libary, accidently bringing Titanic.

„There are a lot of movies you think you know the ending. But they might surprise you."

With that Tony went down the stairs but stopped again.

„7 pm, my place?"

„If there's no case."

Tony nodded and went down. Gibbs turned back to watch his team, now complete. As if he hadn't missed one moment Tony got into the conversation taking place in the bullpen. Gibbs had to smile. Some things will never change.



Gibbs took a deep breath as he climped the stairs to Tony's apartment. He could have taken the elevator but the stairs gave him precious time to think about the conversation ahead of him. Of course planning out a conversation without knowing what Tony wanted to say or ask was impossible but he tried to have a good answer to every question he expected. Still he was nervous when he finally knocked on Tony's door. It seemed to be a strange thing to knock on a door he had a key for but the right to just walk inside was taken away from him when he had gotten back the bracelett. Funny how such a small gesture could have such a big meaning.

The door was opened and his mind was blank when he saw the younger man. The beautiful green eyes, the handsom face that well known. The situation was that familiar that he wanted to kiss him, just because that's what his brain assossiated with this situation. Apparently Tony had been struck with the same feeling because he wordlessly stepped aside to let Gibbs in. They went into the kitchen, Tony obviously wanted to keep the inviroment as neutral as it could be, and sat at the table. Gibbs noticed the cups on the table but the coffee was still brewing, as usual, he was early. They sat in silence for what seemed like hours, but were only a few moments.

„I need to know something."

Tony finally said, obviously he gave up to try and find a better way to start. Gibbs nodded and waited for him to continue. His mouth was dry, he could really go for that coffee now.

„Did...did you remember me...us...when you went away?"

Gibbs swallowed and then took a deep breath.

„No...I mean, I did remember you being my second in command...and I remembered us having sex...but at that time I didn't remember that it was more than that. I didn't remember all the nights we've spent together talking. Or how you sat on the stairs watching me working on the boat. I didn't remember more of you than I did of Jen."

Tony nodded slowly but didn't look at him.

„And when I was there? In Mexico? Did you remember then? I mean, before I gave you the bracelett?"

Gibbs dropped his gaze to the table. He had known this question would come and he hadn't a good answer.

„Yeah, I did."

„So, you didn't want to come back to me."

Tony concluded and Gibbs knew he had to make it right.

„No, Tony. You've got to understand...I felt so guilty. At first, it felt as if I was cheating on Shannon...and once that was gone I couldn't find a way to explain myself to you. I had lied to you all this time. I've never told you about the family I once had...but you had a right to know it. I said I love you and I did and at the same time I had secrets from you. All this time I never told you that there were people who had a place in my heart...a place that was now a hole, one you could never fill...one you weren't supposed to fill...when you gave me the bracelett...It was just as bad as when I came home to an empty house after months at war. I...I sat on the beach and...I seriously wanted to kill myself. I thought without you there's no reason to be alive anymore. But then I wanted to come back, to tell you how much I love you and...but I thought you had come to the decision to go on with your life without me."

Again Tony nodded.

„I had come to that decision. That's why I gave you the bracelett. I thought...I thought that would be the step I need to take to draw a line. To make a new start. But it wasn't. I came back here and was the boss again...and I realized I don't want to be the boss. Not like that. I hated it...really...the way I was acting...subconsciously copying you...the way McGee called me boss...I hated everything...but the most I hated to go to bed alone, to wake up alone...I missed you."

This time Tony looked Gibbs directly in the eyes and Gibbs could see all those emotions he had hoped to find there. Hope, love. But he could see pain aswell.

„I know it won't be as if nothing had happened. Because it did. But I know one thing...Either we give it another go, a fresh start, or I'll have to go on. I need to have something...a yes or a no. There's no grey this time."

Gibbs put his hand on top of Tony's and smiled.

„Yes, Tony. The answer is always yes."

Tony looked down at the hands and entwined their fingers.

„Can you...can you tell me about them? You don't have to I just...I'd like to know who those people were."

For a moment Gibbs considered telling Tony that he couldn't talk about them, that it was too painful. But then he realized that it didn't hurt to think of them. And he had planned on telling him.

„Yeah, I can do that...and I brought you something."

He took the bag Tony hadn't noticed yet and took out an album. He opened it and pointed on the first picture.

„Is that you on your high school graduation?"

Tony asked with shining eyes and smiled.

„Yeah, Shannon and me, we were high school sweetheart...god, we hated that term..."

Gibbs went on to tell Tony about the woman he had loved so much and then about his daughter, his little sunshine. To every photo in the album Gibbs told the story and when he had come to the last picture they were both smiling.

„They sound like great people."

Tony said and Gibbs nodded.

„You do know that I still love them, don't you?"

„Yeah, I know that. And I'm not expecting to stop or to forget them. I just also want you to be here with me."

They held eye contact for a long moment.

„I am here, Tony."

As Tony dropped his eyes flushing slightly Gibbs‘ gaze landed on the clock on the wall. It was already 1 am.

„I think I better go. We have to work in the morning. And I know you need your beauty sleep."

„You're not staying?"

A look of slight panic crossed Tony's face but the older man just smiled.

„Yeah, Tony, I go home. I want to start this fresh. I want to date you, because that's what you deserve. You deserve to be - wooed."

„Wooed?"

Tony chuckled. But then he looked serious at him again.

„Can I at least have good night kiss? A really decent one?"

Gibbs grinned and gave Tony a breath stealing kiss.

„Ohhh, what would my mother say if she saw that, Mr. Gibbs?"

Tony grinned at him.

„Only because I'm wooing you it doesn't mean that I'm at all decent...that was a promise, Tony. There's more to come."

The younger man looked at him mock innocently.

„Really? I think I didn't quite get that message...try another one?"

Gibbs smirked but walked to the door.

„Not tonight."

He gave him a once-over with that look that made Tony shiver.

„You're such a tease."

„Pot meet kettle."

Seven months felt like heaven and Tony was completely sure that there was nothing going to destroy what he had except death. And the way Jethro was driving him crazy right now it could be only a matter of minutes.

„You're killing me here."

He murmured after over an hour of foreplay and twenty minutes of preperation. With one fucking finger! Sure, it's been a while since he had sex with a man. Nine months to be honest but hell! It was like riding a bike, wasn't it? And it wasn't as if he wasn't used to a little pain. As if he didn't crave for a little pain some times.

„Wouldn't that be a pity? All spread out for me and die before you had the chance to come?"

Bastard, shot through Tony's mind because Jethro used exactly the moment Tony had laughed to slip in the second finger. Sure as hell it would be a pity. Tony knew exactly why Jethro was taking it slow. It was the same reason why they hadn't had sex all those awefully long seven months. They didn't want to fuck it up. Jethro's little trip to Mexico had done more damage to the men's relationship as either of them wanted to acknowledge and they were building it up again, properly this time. But still, there was slow, and too slow. Tony grapped Jethro by the neck and pulled him down to him.

„If you're not going to make love to me right now I'll do it myself."

Jethro chuckled and nippled at the already kiss-swollen lower lips.

„Your wish is my command."

„If that were true you would have been in me half an hour ago."

They kissed again and Jethro blindly lined up. As much as he wanted to continue to kiss his lover Tony had to pull back as the head of Jethro's cock slipped through the ring of muscles and the younger man's head fell back into the pillows, his mouth open as he moaned.

„Did I ever tell you that you're the most gorgeous man I've ever met?"

Jethro whispered as he set a slow, loving rythm. What started as a chuckle from Tony quickly turned into a long moan. Whereas they already had had sex so many times Tony couldn't remember anything like this. Mostly in the past they had gone pretty roughly. Their first few encounters had happened after rough cases, after close calls. But then, given their job and the events of the last years nearly the whole time of their relationship has been one major close call. They have gone through everything Tony could think of and more. Being infected with a out-of-date illness, having a terrorist chasing them, being beaten up while undercover, being framed, being shot at, held hostage by a teenager...Tony couldn't help the slight feeling of hope that the future was looking better for them.


And then, slowly, Tony's mind draw blank. He could nearly feel his thoughts leave his head with every stroke of Gibbs‘ dick over his prostrate. He thought this would last forever and at the same time he couldn't think he'd last ver long. Gibbs‘ breathing speed up slightly and Tony closed his eyes, enjoying the different sensations of touch, sounc and scent. His breath hitched as Gibbs started to stroke his cock softly but effectively.

„Jethro..."

Tony whispered, unable to do more. He felt like falling, or flying, or maybe hoovering a few inches above the matress. His hand clenched in the sheet underneath him in a try to ground himself but Gibbs replaced the silk with his own hand and Tony came, whispering the name of his lover, and then, Gibbs came with him.

„Tony?"

Jethro closed the door behind him and wondered where his lover was. Usually it wasn't too difficult to follow Tony's way since the moment he had opened the door because he usually left every light on and several things were lying on the floor. Jethro saw his keys on the table next to the wardrobe but his jacket didn't hang here. There was no light in the hall, or in the kitchen, or any room he could see from the driveway. No noise from the ridiculous tv set in the living room.

He frowned and went up into the bedroom. He couldn't see light coming from under the door. Slowly he started to worry. Tony's mood had been, well, critical the last weeks. Two weeks in which they hadn't had the time or the energy for sex after work. Two weeks of hell. But today the younger man had been silent. Too silent.

When he opened the door he saw Tony sitting on the bed, fully dressed, staring at something in his hands. He looked up when Jethro turned on the light.

„How did you manage it to be married four times and have only one child?"

The question alone would have confused Jethro but the tone of voice left him completely puzzled. Tony sounded almost angry, no, not angry, desperate.

„Excuse me?"

„Four women, one child! And now? We had sex only once since you returned but you managed to knock me up!"

Utterly at loss Jethro stared at the man on the bed.

„What?"

„I am pregnant, Jethro. Do I need to spell it out for you? Or do you want me to draw a picture?"

„Wait...you're pregnant...but we prevented...oh, jeeze, no we didn't..."

Tony threw up his hands in despair and let himself fall onto the bed.

„I knew you had a good aim but that..."

Jethro slowly sat on the bed.

„I'm sorry, Tony...actually I thought I can't have kids anymore..."

„Why you thought that?"

„I tried with Denise...but apparently it was her...not me..."

Tony sat up and looked at him as if he had turned nuts.

„Wait...you already had a child, and it never came to your mind that it could have been her?"

„She had a child when I met her two years later!"

They sat on the bed in complete silence for a long moment. Then Jethro looked at Tony. The younger man raised his eyebrows in confusion as his lover looked at him as if he had just found the reason of life.

„Tony, would it be so bad, if we get a child?"

„What?"

„Well, I love you...you love me...we're not planning on ending this so..."

Tony shifted so he was directly facing his lover.

„Jethro, this is not only about our love...I mean...I don't know if I'm ready for a child."

„Tony, you're 35. If you're not ready for a child now..."

„And we never talked about having kids! We would have to tell the others about us and you know how expensive children are? And what if there's complications while the pregnancy? Or who will stay at home with him...or her? Cause I won't give my child to a nanny!"

Jethro grapped Tony's hands that were flying around wildly. He instructed the younger man to take a few deep breaths before he spoke in the most reassuring and calmest voice Tony ever heard from him.

„You are pregnant and we will have to face that. I'm just saying that now that it happened we should look at it from the bright side. Tony, you have so much love to give, and you will be a great father, I know it. We both have a good job and even if only one of us was working we'd still have enough to absolutely spoil the little one. And everything else can wait for now. If you ask me it's good news. Unexpected and unintented, but good."

Finally Tony smiled softly and looked at their entwined hands before he once more looked at his lover, tears in his eyes.

„We're going to have a baby."

Jethro kissed him affectionately.

„Yeah, we are."

Two months later.

Tony had went to several examinations. Dr. Kiefer had recommented to invite Dr. Pitt for the check-ups, as he knew more than any other doctor about Tony's lungs. Tony had happily agreed to that as Brad was the only one to get Jethro under control, except Ducky, and he really didn't want the ME with them when they were looking at his insides.

They had told the team and they had taken it very well, as expected. Ziva had immidiatly taken up teasing Tony. The morning after they had told them she had asked him if he had gained any weight yet or if it just was junk-food. Ten minutes later Ducky had adviced her not to joke too much about it because it was only a matter of time until all the nice little side-effects of a pregnancy were going to show in Tony's mood.

Speaking of which. Tony had started to have morning sickness, which came predictably every night at four am. Most of the time now he woke before it started and it didn't happen to often that they had any accidents. This morning was no exception. He slurfed back into the bedroom and rolled himself up. Jethro wasn't at home yet. They had gotten a case the evening before but Jethro had send him home, threatening to call Dr. Kiefer and let her set him on desk duty.

But as if he had timed it the door opened and Jethro came into the bedroom carrying a glass of water and a bag with bagels. He kissed Tony's damp forehead.

„I missed it, I guess. How'd you feel?"

„Like shit. But it'll be fine in a few minutes...you know the routine."

Gratefully he took the water and swallowed hardly before he looked warily at the bag. Deciding that he wouldn't take the risk just yet he asked about the case.

„You wrapped it up?"

„Yeah, open and shut."

„Then why did you take that long? Didn't want to go home to your fat, moody partner?"

Tony's tone was light and jokingly but Jethro heard that it also held truth.

„Tony, you're not fat. And you're not moody, at least not yet. Interrogation kept me in long and we wrapped up the paperwork so we have off today. Didn't want to go in on your birthday."

Tony groaned as he fell back into the pillows.

„Is it already?"

Jethro chuckled and spread out next to his lover.

„Yes, it is. And you know Abby. She insisted on having you at least a small dinner party. She wanted to go out with you but Ducky took over and reminded her that you were not to strain and not to drink. And the loud music wouldn't be good, either. I agreed that they come over for dinner. That alright?"

„I'd prefer a nice calm day, evening and most important night with you. But I'm willing to give them the evening, as long as I get the rest."

„You will, I promise...but now, how does a little more sleep sound?"

Tony chuckled as he settled against the older man. Jethro's hand immidiatly lying protectively on Tony's belly.

„Since I'm pregnant I could sleep all day."

„Since you're pregnant?"







It was eight the same evening and everybody was there yet, except Abby. Finally the young goth arrived and she carried a huge box into the living room.

„Ok, I know you surely have prepared a delicious dinner, but I think you should unwrap your presents first!"

She announced after she had hugged Tony for what seemed like hours.

„Yay! Presents!"

He beamed and settled on the couch. Ziva was the first and he eyed the box from all sides before he opened it. Looking in, then at her and then taking out the present.

„A bowl...gee, thanks, Ziva..."

Taking the next presents he raised his eyebrow as he revealed cat food, a small scratch-tree and a tiny little collar.

„Em...ok..."

Warily he slowly opened the box Abby had put to his feet. Once the top was off there was a small „miaou".

„You're giving me a cat?"

„Yup!"

She beamed at him. Tony looked down into the box where a tiny little black cat sat and looked at him with big green eyes.

„I thought you two might want to practise a little."

Finally Tony smiled brightly and reached into the box, but that made the kitten spit and it sat in a corner of the box looking at him rather grudgingly.

„I don't think, it likes me..."

Tony stated and everybody changed worried looks.

„Oh, Tony, I'm sure it's just because she sat in that box for so long. Let her out and then she'll be fine, I'm sure."

Tony nodded unsure but then stood to get to the table. After about half an hour they finally got him to talk and after two hours he was his usual cheery self.




It was nearly midnight when Jethro finally managed to shush Abby out, telling her that Tony needed the sleep. He went back and saw Tony sitting on the couch again, watching the kitten play with the little ball McGee had given them.

„Hey, babe. Everything alright?"

Jethro kissed him on the cheek but Tony still looked sadly at the cat.

„I tried to pat her but she didn't want me to."

„Tony, cats are very stubborn. Listen, you'll feed her, she'll love you."

„Are babies like that?"

Jethro chuckled and put his arm around his lover, who soon settled against him.

„A bit, Tony. What you wanna call her?"

„Dunno...it can't be a name we could use for our child, can it?"

„Wouldn't be good."

Tony sighed and watched the kitten now licking her paws.

„How does Susi sound? I heard somewhere that it has to be something ending with a „i"."

Tony offered and Jethro considered it for a moment. Susi would definitely not a possibility for their child. But for a cat it seemed to be alright.

„Ok. Susi. You gonna feed her?"

„Yeah, sure. Gonna feed our child aswell. Abby's right. I think I can use some practise. You already have. Gotta catch up."

Jethro sighed and pulled Tony a little more against him, not willing to let go of the younger man just now.

„Tony, I think you should stay at home."

Ziva said and chanced a glance at the man in the passenger seat. Tony swallowed the candy bar he had bought on their way to the office, secretly, because Jethro had conviscated everything with sugar in the house.

„No, Ziva. I'm perfectly fine to do the little work I'm still allowed."

„Yeah...but...Tony. You barely got into the car. Abby and Ducky are harrassing us to go easy on you and you're doing all the things you shouldn't."

„That's not true! I'm not drinking coffee. I'm not smoking. And I'm not drinking any alcohol!"

Ziva sighed annoyed and fought hard to not floor the gas pedal.

„Yeah, but you didn't drink coffee or smoke before your pregnancy. And as far as I'm informed you're not to eat too much sugar."

She said with a side glance at the candy bar.

„Hey, it's an energy bar!"

„No, it's a Snickers! I might don't know all American slang words but I do know American junk food!"

„But there are nuts in it."

Tony tried weakly and she shot him a look.

„Ok, listen. I don't get any sugar at home. I don't get any sugar in the office. All I have is a candy bar when you or McGee pick me up or drive me home. Even Abby joined the conspiracy against me."

„Tony, there's no conspiracy. All we do is to make sure that you're healthy for the birth. We are just trying that you're doing what your docs tell you."

Tony muttered something under his breath but Ziva didn't even made the effort to ask. Six months into the pregnancy everything was alright and they all were about to let out a breath but then Tony started to get hormons, as Abby called it, and was switching moods as fast as Jethro the stop button in the elevator. The only ones ever confronting him were Jethro and Ziva. Jethro because he knew that Tony was never longer pissed with him that ten minutes and Ziva sometimes just appeared to have a death wish. If Abby, Ducky or McGee thought Tony needed a put-down they went to Gibbs. Therefore Tony's theory of a conspiracy wasn't that far fetched.

„Everybody's ratting me out, except you. Please don't tell Jethro about that tiny little Snickers."

Ziva let out an exasperated sigh and then looked at him. Strangely she couldn't resist his best pouty-dog look anymore. Maybe it had something to do with the big bulb in front of him. She sighed again and grapped something from the side of the door.

„Only if you don't tell him about this."

She said and held out a pack of gummy bears to him.

„Ziva? Is that a soft side?"

He asked mockingly shocked.

„You want this or not? They don't have any sugar, let's think of it as an exception."

He grinned and took the pack, offering it to her aswell.

„No, they're made out of pigs."

As Tony grimacing looked into the pack she grinned.

„Enjoy."








„MOVE YOUR BUTT BACK TO YOUR CHAIR!!"

Tony froze in his movement and turned around. Jethro's face was calm, but he'd be stupid to think it was real. He tried his most disarming smile, yeah, as if that ever worked on him.

„What?"

He asked innocently.

„I know exactly where you're heading."

„The head? The little one's lying directly on my bladder, you know that."

„Ah huh. And why don't you take the head over there?"

Jethro nodded towards the restroom right down the hall, and Tony had been heading into the opposite direction.

„Em...There's no toilet paper..."

„You've been going to the vending machine."

„NO! No, no, no,...yeah, I was...but Jethro, I need my sugar dose! What would you say if I told you that you can't drink any coffee anymore?"

„If I was carrying your child and the caffaine could lead to a premature I would do that."

Tony took a deep breath.

„Ok, good point. But I'm graving. Every pregnant person graves, and every pregnant person can eat what they grave...everybody but me."

„Tony, we already had that discussion, hadn't we? You get one candy bar or something else. One! It's what the doctor allowed you. And I do know that you're having one every day when McGee or Ziva pick you up, and no, they didn't rat you out. I tolerated it this long, I gave you another one, but now, this is over. Dr. Kiefer called me and told me that your results came in. She only agreed to let you stay on desk duty as long as I make sure that you don't work longer than six hours a day. Do you really want to risk your life and the life of our child just for a candy bar?"

Tony looked down and shoved his feet from one side to the other.

„No."

He muttered and went back to his desk, obviously resigned.

„Tony, we're all just looking out for you. I want you and the little one to be around for a very long time. Ok?"

Tony sighed and nodded. He knew Jethro was right and there was no point to argue. Even the one-candy-bar-a-day-arrangement was a big compromise as the doctor had phrased it. Of course Tony didn't want to risk a premature and the life of his child, but no sugar was a turture.

Eight months.

Only one month to go. That was all that made Tony go on. By now he was really tempted to eat himself into a sugar coma if that would help him to finally get the baby. But Jethro was like a hound and Tony wouldn't want to mess with him. He really couldn't stand the sentence „it's all for your best" anymore. He sat at his desk totally annoyed. The team was out on a case and Ducky was there to keep him company but a pregnant man on sugar withdrawal wasn't exactly a concentrated listener.

Finally the elevator opened and Tony hoped to get some work to do but the team exited and among them was a boy around ten. Tony and Ducky stood as the little group approached them.

„Tony, Ducky, that's Markus. His father went UA this morning. We have to keep an eye on the boy."

Jethro explained but immidiatly started towards the back.

„Ziva, get me a full history. McGee, Ducky, come with me to Abby."

„And what about me?"

Tony called and Jethro shrugged.

„Keep the boy company."

For a moment Tony stared after his lover and then turned to the boy smiling.

„I don't like you."

Markus said and immidiatly went over to Ziva. Tony stood there frozen, looking at the place the boy had just stood. Jethro, McGee and Ducky were frozen aswell, and everybody was looking at the pregnant man now. Tony's breath became a little shorter and Jethro knew he hadn't had much time to react. Pushing the young man out of the office into the elevator, the doors closed just before Tony started to cry. Taking his man into his arms, Jethro tried his best to sooth the sobs.

„Shhhh, Tony. It's alright."

„Alright?"

Tony said between heavy sobs.

„How can you say that? A complete strange boy just said that he doesn't like me! Kids don't like me, Jethro. Our child won't like me."

„Tony, he never met you. You didn't say a single word to him. Believe me, he's a terrible brat!"

„I'm the one who's terrible. I'm terrible with children! Jesus, I can't even get a cat to like me!"

Tony turned out of the embrace and started to pace the small room up and down.

„I should never get children! Take it out!"

He said hysterically and pointed at his belly.

„That's a little late, don't you think?"

„That's not funny, Gibbs! I'll be the worst father ever!"

„Tony, that's absolutely impossible. You will be a great father. You will love our child and you'll do everything you can to make it happy. And our child will love you because that's what children do. They might don't like other adults, but they love their parents. Cats and other people's kids say nothing about your ability to be a father. I had the same fears when Kelly was on the way and I did make mistakes. And I know you will make mistakes. But together we can raise him or her to a really great person."

Tony sniffed and looked at him with big teary eyes.

„You really think I'll do ok?"

„You'll do great, Tony. There's noone else I'd rather wanted to be the father of my child."

Finally a little smile broke through the tears and Tony went back into Jethro's arms.

Jethro stood in front of the living room door but didn't quite want to get in. He had to admit, Tony was finally a slightly little bit off. Well, that wasn't a surprise really. His due date was two weeks ago and still the Little One didn't make any indication of coming in the foreseeable future. Nine months long they've been worrying that Tony could have a premature. Nobody thought he could be late. Finally Jethro worked up what little curage was left in him after a week alone with his pregnant partner and went in.

Tony lay on the couch, on his back, lazily patting Susi who had rolled up on his giant belly. Finally the cat had started to like him. Jethro glanced at the TV, it was still the same movie that has been on when he left, two hours ago. He made the little way to the couch and put the bag with crispy chicken wings on the coffee table.

„Hey...I talk to Dr. Kiefer while you were gone."

Tony said, trying to sit up but didn't manage it until Jethro helped him.

„So? What did she say?"

„She said that if I'm not in labour by wednesday she'll make me. You know...Abby told me a way of encouraging the birth..."

Tony mumbled while nippling on Jethro's jaw and neck.

„Ahem...and that is?"

„Sex."

Jethro immidiatly pulled back and stared at his partner with big eyes.

„Sex? In your state?"

„C'mon, Jethro. You have had sex with me while I was pregnant."

„Yeah but not in the last two months! What if...no...that's too freaky."

Tony raised an eyebrow at him.

„What? You think the baby will know? You think the first memory it will have from you will be a frontal of your dick?"

He chuckled as Jethro shifted uncomfortable on the couch.

„I just think...I can't do that, Tony."

„Oh god, the man with the lipido of a teenager tells me he can't."

„It's no question of my lipido, Tony. Once the Little One is out I can make love to you as often as you want to, but..."

He fought to find the words to describe why this was difficult to him. Maybe some of that catholic education had stuck after all. Tony sighed heavy.

„Well, then it'll be the pill, I guess. I already tried everything else."

Jethro stroke over his cheek and then kissed him softly.

„Sorry...I just can't do that."

„It's alright. Guess it would have sucked if I went into labour before I came so maybe it's better like this...Let's eat."









„Jethro."

Tony shook him softly and he mumbled something and turned around. He hadn't had much sleep the last days. He worked all-nighters to get the nursery done and that Tony changed his mind that often didn't really help.

„Jethro, c'mon, wake up."

„Tony, can't you wait until the sun is up? I promise, I'll get you anything you want then."

„Well, I don't think that it'll help if I press my legs together."

Suddenly Jethro was bright awake and sat upright in the bed.

„What?"

„My water broke and I have contractions. I guess your stubborn child finally wants to take some fresh air."

Jethro immidiatly jumped out of the bed. As Tony slowly got out of the bed, the older man ran around the room in panic, packing PJs, towels. Finally Tony was up and stopped him.

„Jethro. My bag is already in the car, remember? All you have to do is drive me to the hospital."

Jethro nodded hesitantly and then smiled shakily at his partner.

„It's finally coming."









An hour later Jethro just walked back to Tony's room with a fresh cup of coffee when he was stopped by the team. They had called Ducky on the way over and he had spread the news. Even Jen had come and it was clear that except for her noone of them would go into work until the baby was born and they knew that Tony and the child were alright.

„Dr. Kiefer said it won't really start before a few hours. So you can see him for a while."

Jethro said as he lead them to the room. In there Tony lay on a bed, popped up on pillows. His breathing was hard after another contraction and Brad was listening to his lungs, but when Tony saw the others he smiled widely.

„Hey, guys! Finally made it here?"

„We could say the same about you, Anthony."

Ducky smiled warmly and changed a look with Dr. Pitt, relieved by what he saw.

„I just checked his lungs and everything seems to be fine. I ordered a oxigen mask, but that's just a precaution. I'm not expecting any complications."

He smiled softly and patted Tony's shoulder.

„We'll see us later, Tony."

„You'll stick around?"

The man in the bed looked at his doctor, who had rapidly become a friend, with big eyes.

„Tony, I went through the plague and a pregnancy with you. Of course I'll stick around. I want to know what's coming out of you."

He grinned and then left the room. Tony winced as another contraction squeezed all his inside to the side of a ping-pong ball, well, that's what it felt like to Tony. After about a minute it faded away and Abby wrapped her arms around him.

„Poor baby!"

„Poor baby? It's not the one who has to work here!"

He said but grinned at the goth. They all stayed for a while, distracting Tony with light talk and jokes. Some time later they had started a contest of bad baby names when finally the nurse came and told them that they would bring Tony into the delivery room now.






It was 10.26 and Abby, Ducky, McGee and Ziva sat in the waiting area of the hospital. For three hours there was no word from Tony and slowly they couldn't help the slight worry. Finally Brad entered the waiting area and disposed his gloves.

„Brad! Is Tony fine? Did the baby come?"

Abby immidiatly started to question the doctor. He smiled softly at her.

„It was a text book birth. Tony and the baby are cleaning up just now and you can see them in a few minutes."

„So? What is it? Boy or girl?"

„Oh, I think they want to tell you themselves."

They followed him into the room Tony had been in before. In there Tony already lay on the bed and Jethro sat in a chair, his back to them. A wide smile spread over the tired face of the younger man.

„Guys! Guys! I have a daughter!"

The all but ran around the bed to look at the little girl in Jethro's arms. Jethro smiled at them and looked even more exhausted than Tony. One of his hands was wrapped in white bandages but otherwise both men and the baby seemed absolutely fine and happy.

„Oh my god! She's soooo adorable!"

Abby beamed and Ducky had to stop her bouncing or the little girl would wake up.

„Does she have a name?"

„Alishia. We're not sure about the second name, though."

Tony looked as if he couldn't care less at the moment as he smiled dreamingly at his lover and daughter. After a few minutes a nurse came and took Alishia to the nursery and asked everybody but Jethro to leave so Tony could get some sleep.

The sun was shining but it wasn't too hot. Their garden was decorated nicely, thanks to Abby and Jen. The ceremony was over long ago and Tony, Jethro and their closest friends were sitting at the long table. Emily, Fornell‘s daughter, was always there where Alishia was, which was most of the time with Abby or with Jen. Tony and Jethro wandered between their friends but for the past twenty minutes they were vanished.

„Hey. Has anybody seen the wedding couple?"

Jen finally asked and everybody looked around as if they had just noticed that they weren't there.

„Tony wanted to get some beer..."

McGee stated.

„Gibbs said he'd help..."

Ziva continues and they all shared a grin. Meanwhile inside the house, the two men stood, next to the beer, in the kitchen and were kissing. They had to break apart when Tony yawned widely.

„You're tired, hon?"

Jethro asked as he softly kissed his husbands jaw.

„A bit. Ten weeks old babies are exhausting."

„Yes, they are. The question is, are you too tired?"

A nasty grin appeared on Tony's face.

„I'll never be too tired for that."

Jethro returned the grin and kissed his husband before he pulled back again.

„I was more talking about it that we could make a quick exit. Abby and Tim are watching their goddaughter the weekend and we have a hotel suit. All you have to do is say the word."

Tony sighed a´nd grapped a couple of beers.

„Jethro, I already know how our weekend will be. We will get into the hotel, and I'll call Abby. We'll have sex, and I'll call Abby. We will have more sex, and I'll call Abby..."

„Ok, I got your point. Only a few months ago you thought our daughter would hate you and now you're the worst mother hen."

Tony grinned but surpressed any comment. They both knew that half the calls would be made by Jethro so there was no need to mention it. It was barely 3 pm so Tony had no intention of leaving early. It happened too less that they had time, or reason, to come together like this and he enjoyed having his friends around him without any murder.

He handed the beer over and sat down. He took a deep breath and looked up into the clear sky, thanking whatever God there was that he let them be happy for once.

„Hey, Tony. You're daughter has a present for you."

He raised his eyebrow at Ziva.

„It couldn't be that the present is in her diapers?"

„It is."

She held the whimpering baby out to him and he softly shook his head.

„So, you little shitter. What have you got for me, huh?"




A few hours later Tony sigh contently as he stretched after a post-coital nap. He heard water in the bathroom and a moment later his husband appeared in the door.

„Hey. I'm preparing the jacuzzi. You're coming?"

„As soon as I can move."

He answered with a smug grin and Jethro returned to the bath. Tony quickly turned to his side and picked up his cell phone. It rang, once, twice...Tony waited impaciently. Just as he was about o drag Jethro out of the hotel nude as they were home to their daughter, the phone was picked up.

„Gibbs-DiNozzo residence. McGee speaking."

„Why the hell did you take that long to answer the damn phone? I was worrying sick!"

„Tony, I've had to get down from the nursery. That takes a moment."

Tony chewed on his tongue for a moment and then decided that McGee was right.

„How is my little sunshine?"

„I'm just fine, Tony, thanks."

Abby's voice came through the phone, cheery as ever.

„Good. And how's my child?"

„She is as happy as a baby can be, Tony. She has a fresh diaper, she's feed and she's sleeping like the angel she won't be as soon as she can walk and talk. Everything is under control, so get back to your man and have fun."

„We've got our phones with us, and you have the number of..."

„Tony! Stop! Listen. You will hang up now, and have some dirty smutty fun, alright? Alishia is in good hands."

Tony sighed and nodded.

„Ok...thanks, Abby."

„Always, honey."

Tony closed his cell and looked up. Jethro stood in the door with a light smirk.

„You're sure you'll be able to leave her when she's three and go back to work? Or will you cradle her until she 21?"

„I haven't decided yet."

Tony smirked back and followed his husband into the jacuzzi to do just what Abby had adviced.



End Of The Story.

Series To Be Continued.