Gibbs opened his eyes slowly - a small smile on his lips as he yawned and stretched luxuriously before clambering out of bed. He knew without looking Tony had been up an at least an hour before - the damp towel draped across the end of the bed told him that much.

It had been a long night - slow, lazy sex interspersed with talk - serious talk for a change on Tony's part. Gibbs had known the minute they had arrived at the beach house that this is what Tony needed - he needed - hell - they both needed a break - but not in familiar surroundings - and when he'd made the call to his friend about taking over the place for a weekend - a part of him was already visualising Tony refusing the offer - so he was pleasantly surprised when he caught Tony alone in the break room and told him the news.

Gibbs had been trying to figure out a way for Tony to face his demons for some time - it irked him when the younger man would just clam up when asked directly what was really troubling him - he'd even taken his file home with him one night - reading and absorbing every detail - trying to figure out what made his lover tick - and it was as though it was there - just within reach - but he was damned if he could see it - let alone grab at it.

It needed a gentle touch - no distractions - no smart ass answers - and here - three miles from the nearest town - the nearest beach house north and south at least a mile and a half away - more even. The solitude was just perfect - and last night proved Tony was letting his guard down - at last! But - there was more to come - and Gibbs knew he'd have to use kid gloves from now on - so much progress had been made in the small hours - he couldn't let it go now.

He tugged on a pair of shorts and ambled through to the kitchen - grateful to see a pot of coffee on the hot plate as he reached up and snatched a large coffee mug from the top shelf.

He carried the mug through to the living area and looked out towards the ocean - standing in the open doorway and pulling in deep breaths of clean, fresh sea air. Not a soul in sight except Tony emerging from the water - pushing both hands over his face and through his hair - shaking his head violently to get the water out of his ears.

"Damn," Gibbs said to himself. "He's wearing swim shorts!" He waved in answer to Tony's yell of "morning!" and held up his mug - only for Tony to shake his head again.

Tony collected up the beach towel from the sand and began drying himself off briskly before laying the towel back down and sitting on it, knees upraised, hands supporting him as he leaned back and stared out over the sea.

"Stunning, isn't it?" Gibbs said quietly as he joined him.

"It is, Boss - a world away from Washington - very - restful."

"That's why I love it."

"I'd like to come here again sometime - if that's okay?"

"Sure," Gibbs nodded. "I want you to come here again."

"Why'd you pick me?" Tony asked suddenly, keeping his gaze fixed on the waves lapping the shore.

"Pick you what?" Gibbs asked, his brow furrowing. "Spending a weekend with Tim here isn't what I'd call - and besides - Abs and Ziva had plans - "

"No, I don't mean that, Boss." Tony looked down to the sand, his hand collecting up a handful and letting it fall through his fingers. "Why'd you give me the job in first place?"

"Ah - " Gibbs nodded - "why shouldn't I have?"

"No - no - I mean - over the three days of the interview assessment thing - there were six of us - and at least three of those guys were a hell of a lot more qualified that I was," Tony stretched his neck from side to side and yawned. "And in the written exam - I just scraped through - barely a C."

"Maybe it was the way you handled your weapon?" Gibbs teased, slugging back the last of his coffee.

"Jethro - I'm not kidding here - I want to know why you gave me the job." Tony twisted round to sit cross legged - his green eyes shining. "And I want the truth."

Gibbs was slightly taken aback by this line of questioning - but he figured - and figured correctly - this was something Tony had wondered about through all four years with NCIS. "Okay - there were six of you - all police - and all more than qualified to do the job - and of the six - within an hour of your initial interview it had already come down to just three of you - you, Benson and Adair - at that time, I was leaning towards Benson - he'd been there - done that - and bought the shirt and eaten the pie - Adair - a quick mind - logical - a street cop - street wise."

"And me."

"You, DiNozzo - my initial impression?"

"Hit me."

"The attention span of a gnat - too quick with the jokes - all I saw to start with was smart ass cop want to play being a Fed."

"Attention span of a gnat?" Tony gaped at him.

"Yep - a gnat - but that's only the impression you want to give out, isn't it?" Gibbs snickered at the look on Tony's face. "There are only a few people can pull it off - pretend they're not listening - pretend they're not interested and then bam! Your CO in Baltimore heaped praise on your interrogation techniques - counted out at least a 97% success."

"Go on."

"It was on the second day," Gibbs continued. "You walked into the Director's Office - Tom was already wanting to write you off - but I persuaded him to at least talk to you - and to this day - I still don't know how in hell you did it, Tony - you walked out of that room an hour later - and you'd made it to the top of Morrow's list."

"I'm infectious," Tony beamed at him.

"All I remember is that first day - you were an ass - then - Captain Sensible showed up - you blew Morrow away - me too. You actually had researched your answers impeccably - you were asking all the right questions as well giving reasoned, logical answers." Gibbs pushed a hand through his hair. "We were sold - and you told Kate you got the job because you smiled."

"It usually does the trick."

"Does it - "

"Yeah!" Tony squinted up at Gibbs as the older man got to his feet. "Usually."

"Not then, DiNozzo - you got the job because you were the best - you've come a hell of a long way in four years - even got your own team for four months."

Tony shuddered briefly before getting to his feet. "My own team - Probie as Senior Field Agent - " A quick head slap and Gibbs was heading back to the house. "What was that for?"

"You were about to say something not very nice about Tim," Gibbs called over his shoulder.

"Was not!"

"Was!"

******

Gibbs rustled up scrambled eggs and a mountain of toast after a long, refreshing shower the two men shared - placing the plate in the middle of the table and pouring himself and Tony generous mugs of coffee.

"One thing puzzles me," he said as he watched Tony rip a slice of toast in half - fold it over and shove it in his mouth.

"What?" Crumbs flew everywhere.

"I have no clue about your childhood."

"Nothing to tell," Tony shrugged - clearing his throat from an errant bit of toast.

"Okay."

"I mean - you know about most of it - "

"Not all of it," Gibbs probed as he finished a forkful of egg.

"Dad is rich - I'm his son - and I was a mistake. A rich man's son growing up in the Hamptons." Tony reached for his mug. "Dad was - is - a bastard - likes his booze - and sometimes if he had a bad day - he'd take it out on me - sometimes Mom - but mostly me."

"He beat you?"

"With whatever came to hand - usually a belt."

"And your mother did nothing?" Gibbs was astounded.

"What could she do - except divorce him - and he'd never let her get away with sharing 50/50 - all she saw was dollar signs, Jethro - there was no love in our family - just greed, jealousy - that kinda crap."

"Tony - I'm sorry - I had no idea." Gibbs lowered his fork to his plate, shaking his head.

"It's past, Jethro - done." Tony sat back - mug in hand. "Some of the other moms took pity on me - I'd get to on day trips and sleep overs - although it would have been nice to do that with my Mom and Dad - but that would never happen - she was too busy sleeping around and he was either too drunk to care - or too involved in work to bother with me."

"That's no childhood Tony - not at all."

"My epiphany came when I hit college - my Frat Brothers were family - still are to some extent - " A smile ghosted across Tony's lips.

"And your father cut you out of the will when you were 12?"

"So he told me - gave me no reason - just said I was a good for nothing brat who'd probably end up sweeping streets for a living - personally - I don't care - he can shove it." Tony tried to keep his tone light but his eyes gave away the sadness he felt deep inside and he refused to look at Gibbs.

"You will at least contest it when the inevitable happens?" Gibbs leaned forward, linking his fingers on the table - his appetite suddenly vanishing.

"It's gone on for long enough, Jethro - I just don't think about it - " Tony shrugged again.

"Until you fall asleep and all the crap comes back as nightmares." Gibbs sat back now - still unsettled by what he'd heard.

"You think that's why?"

"Has to be, Tony. Has to be."

"Something to tell the therapist next week, then." Tony mused.

"She'll delve deep anyway - she'll know everything by the end of your first hour." Gibbs busied himself clearing away the plates into the dishwasher, Tony watching him as he did so.

"Why did I wait this long until realising I needed to see someone?" he asked of the room in general.

"You didn't," Gibbs answered with a shake of his head. "You've been in denial for some many years - all it took was a prod from me."

"But I am doing the right thing?" Tony asked - eyes questioning.

"Oh, believe me, DiNozzo - you are doing the right thing - besides - the therapist reckons it'll be a case of 4 or 5 sessions and you should be back to normal - and if I don't get a good night's sleep after that - she's only to happy to refund me."

"You told we're - you know - you and me - " Tony gaped at him.

"Whoa!" Gibbs held up a hand. "No - I told her we're just roomies - nothing more."

"Geez - and I'm worried about Ziva finding out."

"Tony?"

"Yeah?"

"Sex?"

"Yeah!"

Tony scooted from the room - leaving Gibbs grinning in his wake.

"And now I get to show him - he does have a family - just him - and me - that's all we need - each other."

END

Mid afternoon - Gibbs, naked except for a pair of shorts, lay on the huge bed and stretched his arms above his head, fisting his hands and taking in a huge breath - letting it out slowly. As he lowered his arms, his abs bunched as he pulled himself upright - his eyes tracking Tony as he moved from the bathroom into the bedroom - towel in hand as he dried his hair - the rest of him naked and dripping wet.

Tony knew he was being watched without even looking and stopped drying his hair, tossing the towel back towards the bathroom.

"Get that ass over here," Gibbs growled without moving. "Now."

Tony smirked briefly - a glance down and he was only too well aware he was already hard - and as he stood before Gibbs - he sighed as calloused hands ran first up and then down both flanks as Gibbs widened his legs to pull him even closer.

Green eyes gazed lovingly into upturned blue ones and a lazy smile ghosted across Tony's face as one hand wrapped around the back of Gibbs neck, the other hand on his shoulder.

"Um - " he breathed. "This is a new one on me."

"I've blown you off standing up before," Gibbs shot back - reaching forward with his mouth to plant a row of tiny kisses across Tony's flat golden toned stomach.

Tony gasped at the sensation as Gibbs's lips and tongue worked their magic on his already aching left nub - the other rolled between long fingers - and Tony was trembling, toes curling into the rich carpet beneath his feet.

He held Tony gently at the waist as his left hand began to move behind and sidled down Tony's lower back to rest on his ass cheek - stroking the heated flesh beneath his palm - and began his assault one more time on the right nipple - lapping his way slowly and sensuously from one to the other and back again.

"Jesus! Gibbs!" Tony hissed, letting his head drop back - mouth open.

"Ssh, babe." Gibbs said, his hands never leaving Tony's body as he rose fluidly to his feet. "On the bed - I'm right behind you."

"What?"

"Bed!" Gibbs jerked his chin behind Tony - an eyebrow arching as he tugged off his shorts.

"Bed."

*****

Tony's chest was heaving, a light sheen of sweat coated his furrowed brow as he groaned aloud at all the new sensations thrumming through his whole being. His eyes snapped open as his silver haired lover released his balls, nibbling them getting before lapping at his inner thigh once again - chuckling as he did so at the feel of Tony's thrumming shaft against his cheek. He paused and sat back, closing his eyes and letting his hands rest on his thighs.

"Gibbs?" Tony whispered - wide eyed in question. "Don't stop now!"

"I don't intend to, Tony - I'm just - re-focussing

"Huh?" Tony breathed as Gibbs's hand circled his throbbing cock. "What's there to refocus on? I'm right here damn you! " he groaned again as the hand holding his shaft squeezed him – not too hard, but hard enough to have him arching onto his shoulders.

Gibbs dipped his head once more - his tongue rimming Tony's foreskin – playing back and forth across the slit and suckling the precum drooling there before it had a chance to slip over the edge to be lost forever.

"Breathe, Tony. Don't forget to breathe." Gibbs whispered, bending to the task in hand.

Tony hadn't realised he was holding his breath pulling in a huge gulp of air, as his hands now reached behind to grab the bars of the bed head - his knuckles white with the effort.

Gibbs had done this to him last night - he was so good at giving head - and he'd surprised Tony by revealing a little known secret of nipping the highly sensitive skin of his balls with his teeth just as he was about to cum and Tony thought he would implode at the new sensations as they slammed through him - his mouth open - a long wavering roar - almost driven insane at the sheer intensity of orgasm - Gibbs had driven him further than just over the edge that time - he had never cum so hard or so brutally before - and he wanted more.

He whimpered softly, grimacing as another shudder thundered through him – taking him ever closer to climax. He managed a glance down at Gibbs's bobbing head and let out a barely stifled whimper as he was taken whole - his length barely touching the sides as he was deep throated. His hips bucked, but Gibbs held him with a hand flat on his abs as his fingers pressed together tightly around the base of the solid shaft - a cock held prisoner down a so willing throat.

Tony was beyond reason now, his whole being enmeshed in the sensations coursing through him - moaning aloud, not caring who heard – not caring about anything except the impending orgasm hovering just out of reach.

"Gibbs, please." Tony whimpered, his green eyes imploring - but he was so lost in the moment - lost to reason as his hips canted upwards, his back arched and he cried out wordlessly aloud as his head thrashed from side to side, eyes clamped shut, teeth bared.

Gibbs hummed briefly around the flesh in his mouth - the vibrations sending Tony skyward - and then - two swallows - a final deep swallow and as Gibbs's throat pulsed around his girth Tony came - hard - only his head and ankles in contact with the bed as his entire being froze and began to shudder - to shudder so much his teeth hurt - they were clamped so tight.

Tony could not remember an orgasm like this - he was likely to combust any second now - but he didn't care - didn't want this to end - moaning softly as Gibbs finally released him.

Gibbs draped himself over Tony's right side - their fingers linking on the pillow to Tony's left. "You okay?"

"More than okay - " Tony managed to gasp between breaths as his body brought him back down to earth.

"Good - "

"Jethro?"

"Mm?"

"Never mind."

"What?"

"Just - just want to say - I love you."

"I know - same here babe - love you too."

******

An hour or so later - the two were heading into town.

Gibbs pulled up outside his favourite coffee shop and ordered two to go and a bag of doughnuts.

"Try one of those," Gibbs said tossing the bag at Tony as he got back into the car. "I'll bet you've never tasted anything quite like them." Without another word, he reached over and dipped his hand in the bag, smiling in victory as he pulled out two small doughnuts and shoved both into his mouth.

Tony picked out a doughnut, sniffed it and then took a bite. His eyes going wide as the chocolate centre melted onto his tongue. "Oh boy – these are good."

"Told ya!" Gibbs smiled.

"Mmm," Tony mumbled around another bite.

"Right – " Gibbs started the car and pulled out into the street. "Anso's."

"Anso's?"

"Yeah – this is on me." He turned a corner and took a left then a right, bringing the car to a halt outside a rather lavish restaurant with large floor to ceiling windows. The place was quiet – the lunch crowd having moved on – back to the beach – back to relax and digest and to peruse their receipts and wonder how in hell they were going to afford it! But Anso always argued – you want good food – you have to pay – and pay they did.

Gibbs eased open the door, allowing Tony to precede him as he called out Anso's name. He was rewarded with a flurry of swear words and a small, white haired man with an even whiter beard appeared from the kitchen opposite the main door.

"You!" He bellowed. "I told you last time – goosing my waitresses when they have full trays will get you banned from here!"

"So I won't goose them then." Gibbs spread his hands, his eyes wide. "I will look but won't touch."

"See that you do!" The two men stared at each other for a moment or two and then burst out laughing as they hugged each other. "You're looking pasty!" Anso observed, peering up at Gibbs. "Not enough fish."

"I'm fine," Gibbs stepped back and indicated Tony.

":Let me guess - gotta be DiNozzo?" Anso grinned broadly when Gibbs nodded.

"Hi." He held out his hand and they shook quickly.

"So you're the guy he's been on about - you must be one hell of an agent for him to be praising you to the skies."

Anso didn't wait for a reply - bustling the two men to the bar and urging them to sit as he skirted around it - fishing out three glasses and a bottle of red wine.

"Sit down and tell me what's been happening with you – last I saw you - has to be what - six months ago easy."

"Probably more, my friend." Gibbs saluted them with his glass. "I was actually checking into the housing market around here and over Henderson way - but - as always everything's way out of my league."

"You were gonna move out of DC?" Tony asked, sounding surprised.

"I thought about it - that's all DiNozzo - I'm not heading anywhere soon."
.
"He'd fit in in Henderson," Anso nodded. "So would you, Tony. You'd pass their credentials easily. You're both tall, good looking, athletic types – there are lots of lonely ladies over there – and they'd welcome you two with open arms." Anso looked from one to the other mischievously. "I hear that some of the older residents would pay handsomely for the attention of some thriving young bucks."

Gibbs chuckled, shaking his head. "I don't know about young – "

"You speak for yourself," Tony countered. "You're as young as the person you feel." He winked, smiling as Gibbs flushed briefly. "Might be worth checking out though." Head slap. "Thanks Boss."

"So - " Anso snatched up a menu and thrust at Gibbs. "I got staff on overtime for you boys - so hurry up and order whatever you want," he said as he hurried off towards the kitchen. "And we're out of oysters - and the mussels are off - "

A while later - both Gibbs and Tony were tucking into just cooked sea bass - seated at the window - but away from the main bar area.

"You do realise," Tony said around a mouthful. "This weekend is playing hell with my waistline."

"Not your waistline I'm interested in, DiNozzo - " Gibbs replied with a wink.

"Nympho or whatever the male equivalent is."

"Satyrist."

"And you've never told me what Jen told you - "

"About what?"

"If you'd let me finish, I'd tell you." Tony took a long pull from his glass. "How did she rate my four months in charge?"

"You gave yourself a B minus - I'd have given you a B or even an A minus." Gibbs wiped his fingers on a napkin.

"But what did she say?" Tony pressed.

"That you held the team together - admittedly - my disappearing the way I did was no help - but you did a great job stepping into my shoes." Gibbs sat back regarding the man across the table. "Not much more she could say."

"McGeek's come on something though - I think he actually took everything I told him on board,"

"Tony - why'd you always call him McGeek? It's Tim - "

"He's a good agent," Tony admitted with a shrug. "Even Ziva's mellowed out - still tries baiting me though - but I'm above all that."

"Yeah," Gibbs chuckled. "Sure you are."

"I am!" Tony replied indignantly. "I am!"

"Tony - you did a good job - you did me proud, Jen too - I just knew you were ready."

"You know we all missed you - "

"So I hear," Gibbs said as he reached for his wine. "It was always - what would Gibbs do."

"She told you that?"

"Uh-huh."

"What else did she - "

"Tony," Gibbs held up a hand. "Stop this - right now. This weekend is about us - not work - so can we please stop talking about work."

"We can - " Tony pushed his empty plate away and sat back, patting his stomach. "Man - that was amazing."

"Told ya!"

Ten minutes later - bill paid - the two men headed towards the main door and into the street. Just as they were approaching the car, Anso came running across the quiet street with a bag in his hand. "Here," he said handing the bag to Tony. "Barbecue that piece of fish with some rosemary and garlic tonight – and tell me you didn't just taste a bit of heaven."

"Thanks – we'll do that." Tony nodded, bending to put the bag on the back seat.

"Thanks Anso," Gibbs said before climbing in. He leaned across and gazed up at his old friend. "And you – look after yourself - you're not getting any younger."

"Sheesh – you make me sound like I'm your grandfather or something." Anso replied, stepping back to allow Tony to climb in and close the door. "But then, for some reason, you do remind me a lot of me when I was your age."

Gibbs started the engine with a wry smile. "Yeah – bye Pops."

TBC

"Do we really have to head back to DC tomorrow, Boss?" Tony whined as he unzipped his wet suit - peeling it from his shoulders and chest - very aware Gibbs was watching him closely - tongue snaking out as he arched an eyebrow.

"Unfortunately," Gibbs nodded. "We do - it's only an hour or two's drive - and we don't have to be in extra early remember - if we leave here about 0700 we should be in time."

"I don't want to be on time, Jethro. I wanna stay here!" Tony pulled his mouth down in a frown and then bent to ease his legs from the suit. "This is just too perfect."

"Hey," Gibbs snickered as he dried off his jet ski quickly. "It's only 1800 hours - we got a ton of time left - so quit with the whinging already." Tony pulled his best upset little boy face and swore under his breath - catching the cloth Gibbs tossed across to him. "And looking at me like that isn't gonna work, DiNozzo - ever."

"Liar!"

"Don't push it," Gibbs grinned as he stripped his suit off - draping it over the seat of the ski. "Get yourself and the ski dried off - I've an idea - "

"More sex?" Tony leered at him.

"Tony - that expression says drooling not so much leering - your other brain's kicked in has it?"

"What d'you expect - you're standing there practically naked" Gibbs was wearing swim shorts. "Damp around the edges and looking as hot as hell - " Tony pointed a finger at him. "Not just one little rumpus in the dunes?"

"And have you complaining about sand in all your crevices for the rest of the weekend?" Gibbs matched his gaze. "I don't think so."

"Aww - come on - I'm just answering nature's call here - I need - "

"You need a slap upside the head, Tony." Gibbs shot back - but he was smiling. He closed the space between them - reaching for Tony's hands with his own and then leading him back with him and then leaning in for a gentle kiss. "There's something I've been wanting to say to you," Gibbs said as he sat down - indicating for the younger man to sit too.

Tony sat opposite him, cross-legged and he waited eagerly.

"First off - this weekend hasn't just been about you and me - and sex - it's more than that." Gibbs gazed out over the ocean from Tony's left shoulder. "I've been trying to find out what is going on inside your head, Tony. What drives you - what makes you the way you are - and - for the first time - in four years - I think I'm beginning to chip away at that cool exterior you put on for visitors."

"You're saying I've got a problem or something?" Tony demanded quickly.

"No - no - not at all," Gibbs held up both hands in surrender. "And to say - I've seen something of the real Tony DiNozzo is wrong - what I've seen is you letting your guard down - you've been a natural all weekend - you've been the Tony I've been so curious about all this time."

"You make it sound like a bad thing." Tony groused, eyes narrowing.

"Geez," Gibbs breathed. "Why do you have to read the negative into everything I say? It's not a bad thing - you're not a bad thing - it's just - you've never been able to relax completely - you don't know how - instead - you goof around - you constantly need praise for everything you do - I mean - take lunch - you were desperate to know what - if anything - Jen or myself said about your four months."

"I don't think I sounded desperate - " Tony paused. "Did I?"

"Oh - you sounded desperate, DiNozzo - "

"So you're saying I'm insecure?"

"That's the nerve I was prodding around for," Gibbs sounded triumphant. "Look - let's just get one thing straight here - here and now - I'll say what I have to say and then - if you don't like what you hear - you can head slap me."

"No!" Tony gaped at him - "Why would I want to do that?"

"Ssh," Gibbs coaxed - taking both his hands. "You are the most important thing in my life - and have been for the past three years - I love you with every fibre of my being - I hate it when we're apart - I worry about you - hell - I've even nearly head slapped Abs when you haven't called in as ordered - I love you - I want to be with you - and I want you to know that whenever you need me - day or night - hell or high water - you will find me."

"Jethro - " Tony began only to be silenced with a finger on his lips, his eyes wide.

"No - hear me out. Please?"

"You said the P word, Boss. You never say the P word."

"You're doing it again," Gibbs pointed out.

"Doing what?"

"I am talking seriously here and you're making jokes - "

"Sorry Boss."

"No - don't be sorry - "

"It's a sign of - " Head slap. "Thanks Boss."

"You're making jokes because you truly don't know how to react when someone is trying to reassure you - to let you know that they care - to let you know they know when - you're hurting - when you're worried - when you're - " Gibbs paused and gazed into the so green eyes opposite.

"You know something?" Tony lowered his gaze - a wave of sadness flooded over and through him.

"What?"

"Mom and Dad - never once told me they loved me - I was Mom's occasional fashion accessory and Dad's punch bag." And as he lifted his gaze - his eyes were glistening with tears - Gibbs reaching out gently to wipe them away - both thumbs on both cheeks. "I was never hugged either - if I won a prize at school or scouts or at summer camp - they didn't care - just patted me on the head and handed me over to whichever of the household staff was nearest."

"You know you don't have to think about that anymore, Tony. Ever." Gibbs soothed quietly.

"But I do - I can't not think about it." Tony's lower lip quivered. "It's like - I'm in this little bubble - and everyone else around me is just getting on with reality - they're all normal - and me - I'm just - just - "

"Just what?"

"Just existing - that's all I'm doing - it's all I know Jethro. I don't know how to be anything else - " The tears were falling unashamedly now - Tony brushing them away quickly and sniffing noisily.

"Then let me help you, Tony. All you have to do is ask me - I'm here - now - with you - we're a team - a good team - we work so well together," Gibbs scooted around until he was beside his young lover - an arm around his shoulders - a hand on his knee.

"But I'm - " Tony's rested his head on Gibbs's shoulder - still sniffling.

"Tony - from now on - I want you to stop all this self doubt - this insecurity - this constant questioning of yourself. I love you because you're you - I find you intriguing - I find you - a breath of fresh air - "

"You brought me on this weekend to do this to me, didn't you?" Tony whispered, still wiping away stray tears.

"No - " Gibbs replied softly. "I brought you here because I knew this would happen."

"You got a crystal ball or something?" Tony lifted his head briefly to stare him in the eye.

"Again - no," Gibbs admitted. "But I had a feeling that with no distractions - no one else around - out here - communing with nature - and all that goes with it - you would drop your guard - " Gibbs paused for a moment or two. "When you think back to this weekend - you'll realise that you also knew what might happen - right now - it's all a bit raw - I know that - and I appreciate that - you've got demons to face, Tony - and I'm right here with you facing each and every one."

"And if I don't want to face them?" Tony demanded, lifting his head again.

"You already have - and it's all downhill from here - you're doing great."

"I'm crying!" Tony pointed to his tear streaked face.

"Yeah - nothing wrong with that - hell - even I've had a good sob now and again."

"You Boss?" Tony straightened up, shuffling around to face him.

"Yeah - once or twice." Gibbs shrugged non commitedly.

"In Mexico?"

"In front of Franks? Nah!" Gibbs chuckled. "He'd never let me live that down - but yeah - I've had some tough times too. But let's get back to you - you're the important one - not me."

"Don't ever think that you're not important, Jethro - promise me?"

"Promise." He paused again - staring up over the sand to the beach house. "And here was me thinking this was probably going to be the hardest thing I ever did."

"Am I really worth all this angst, Boss? Why'd you stick with me anyway?"

"Why'd you stick with me?" Gibbs's eyes shone in the sunlight.

"Because - because - "

"Come on - " Gibbs coaxed. "Say whatever's in your head - let it go - just - say it."

"Because - I admire and love you, Boss." Tony's mouth curled into a half smile. "Because you keep me grounded - you keep me safe - and you've made me feel truly wanted - loved and cherished."

"And I give good head?"

"Yeah," it was Tony's turn to snigger. "That too."

"Good - " Gibbs tipped Tony's chin up with a finger. "Don't ever forget it."

"What? That you love me and you give good head?" Head slap. "Ow!"

A few moments later, they wandered back towards the house - fingers linked together - Gibbs slightly in the lead until he suddenly stopped and turned - gazing into Tony's eyes.

"Just answer me one thing?"

"Sure," Tony shrugged.

"Why'd you turn down the chance of your own team in Spain?" The question took Tony completely off guard - and his mind raced to find an answer - his eyes locked with Gibbs - he actually felt slightly afraid to look away.

"I - I - "

"Honesty, Tony."

"I told Jen I wanted to keep an eye on you, Jethro - you were still not 100% - and you can't deny that."

"I wasn't - but you still haven't answered the question - why?"

"Why'd you need to know?"

"No reason - "

If that was intended to let Tony off the hook, Tony wasn't buying it. He allowed himself to be led a little closer to the house before he pulled Gibbs to a stop.

"Because I'm not ready - not ready to even think about - "

"Having your own team?"

"No," Tony frowned. "I'm in Spain - you're in DC - go figure!"

"I was right - " Gibbs snickered.

"Right about what?"

"Oh - just something I said to Jen. She reckoned you were more than ready - but I wasn't convinced - "

"Oh - great - thanks!" Tony huffed. "Kick a guy when he's down why don't you!"

"I didn't mean convinced as in - convinced - I just told her - Jen - when Tony's ready for his own team - he'll let you know he's ready - and hell - the whole world will know he's ready - it's just not right now."

TBC -

"If I'm as insecure and needy as you say I am, Boss - why'd you put up with me? Why haven't you just kicked me into touch - I know I would if I didn't like me." Tony sat on the lowest step of the porch in front of the beach house, both hands cradling a beer as he stared out to see - only too well aware of Gibbs settled in close behind him - his strong hands massaging the kinks and tension from Tony's shoulders.

"Tony," Gibbs sighed, shaking his head slightly. "Don't you get what this whole weekend's been about? Just you and me - you are here because I invited you - I wanted you here - "

"Why?" Tony demanded - his voice descending into a growl as Gibbs hit a particularly tight knot.

"Okay - I'll be honest - I just wanted some eye candy and the opportunity to fuck you senseless - we get back to DC and - " He could sense Tony wanting to move forward and away from him as he spoke but he pressed his fingers into the heated flesh beneath and pulled him back. "Sorry - I didn't mean that - "

"I knew it!"

"Tony - I asked you here because I knew this is what you've needed - something you've craved for such a long time - "

"You already said that," Tony pouted. "You working to a script or something?"

"Hey!" Gibbs dug in a little too hard this time. "Enough! I've already said what I said - and if it means repeating it again and again until you actually believe me - then I will keep repeating it. I love you - I love you and I need you in my life, DiNozzo - I want what is happening between us just as much as you do - only I don't want you having to question everything I say to you or everything I do - it's just us two - no one else in this relationship - you have to learn that I am not your damned father - I'm not every bastard boss you've ever known - and I want you to realise that you can let go - you can forget and just live in the now - with me - but just remember - I'm learning as much as you are - I say the wrong thing to you - you're quick enough to tell me so - and then I move on - lesson learned - won't be doing or saying whatever it was to you again."

"But - "

"Yeah - it's hard - I know that - I appreciate that," Gibbs kissed the top of his head lightly - smiling softly as he felt Tony melt back against him. "Give and take, DiNozzo - give and take - with me around - you don't have to pretend - you're not the goofball in the bullpen when we're alone," He let his arms slide around Tony's shoulders and rested his chin on a shoulder. "It really is okay just to be yourself, you know - you don't have to prove a thing to me."

"But why me, Boss? I mean - all the guys out there - you chose me?" Tony was hearing Gibbs - but he truly didn't understand what was being said. All these years - all his childhood - he'd been groomed to behave in a certain way - best behaviour expected always - you take orders and carry them out - you do this that way and that this way - and if he questioned anything - he was berated - and so he'd come to the conclusion that maybe this really was the only way - keep emotions locked up inside - never tell anyone - take it out on something when he was alone - one small explosion would keep him on the level - keep him grounded. He made people laugh - that much he knew - and that was a positive thing - a word, a look and people would be happy - even when he was hurting so badly inside - it didn't do to show you were upset or annoyed and if he made people happy - he could pretend to be happy right along side them and - for a while - he was able to forget. Only - he'd been able to forget for so long now - he realised he'd actually forgotten whatever it was - he'd buried it deep in his psyche - somewhere dark and lonely. Its only escape through his sometimes horrific nightmares - and his deeply seated insecurity.

Moving from job to job - city to city - he soon began to wonder if he'd actually left a part of himself in each one. Something hinky happened to make him reconsider his future - a future that seemed to change with the seasons it seemed so frequent - and before he knew it - he resigned - packed up and headed out of town - over the county line - over the state line - not really knowing it but knowing he was searching - for that elusive - something - a something that haunted him to this day. What in hell did he want? What in hell was he searching for - contentment? Peace of mind? A sense of belonging he never had as a child? Yet here he was - in an amazing place with a man who loved him dearly - who was patient - coaxing - gentle and loving - Gibbs - a man who seemed to have all the time in the world right now - nothing else mattered to him except that Tony begin his own private exorcism - that which he had held inside for so many years - each shard - every part of the whole that was no longer welcome - had to be freed - slapped in the face and tossed aside like a bag of garbage - Gibbs had warned him it might be tough - but with his lover at his side - it suddenly dawned on Tony he could do this - he had to start thinking differently - being positive was the key.

"Why not?" Gibbs left it hanging - moving backwards and starting on Tony's shoulders again.

"Why not what?"

"Other guys are other guys, Tony." Gibbs said softly. "That chat you had with Ducky when we'd been seeing each other for only six weeks? Taught you nothing?"

"He told you?"

"Only the barest outline," Gibbs nibbled an earlobe wrenching a soft moan from the man in his arms. "Which is why I started paying more attention - but without smothering you - you did the right thing going to Duck - he's a good teacher - when he's focussed and not off on one of his verbal rambles - if I'm not around - you know you can trust him." Gibbs leaned back - his elbows on the top step - a smirk gracing his features as he watched Tony get to his feet and walk a few paces forward - hands pushed into the pockets of his shorts - tightening the cotton covering his ass.

"A Marine Gunny and a two bit cop - " Tony mused out loud.

"And it could so easily be The President and a kitchen porter, Tony." Gibbs replied as he joined him.

"Do you think I'm a brat?" Tony turned to him - his eyes searching Gibbs's face.

"You do have your moments," Gibbs agreed. "But you are getting better - "

"Good," Tony nodded. "So that means - progress then?"

"It sure does, DiNozzo - a lot of progress - in fact - I'd say this weekend's been a big jump forward." He linked fingers with his young lover - tugging him after him towards the shoreline. "You should be proud of yourself."

"But I was crying like a two a year old - jumping on everything you said - "

"So?" Gibbs shrugged. "It means I'm getting there - same way you are - "

"But something tells me that there's more of that to come - am I right?" Tony stopped in his tracks, letting his hand drop from Gibbs's - his face suddenly sad.

"I told you," Gibbs retraced his steps - leaning in for a soft kiss. "It's going to be tough - just take solace in the fact you're not alone - not any more."

"It's just - it's scary."

"Okay - think of it like this - next time your Dad calls you - just tell him to go to hell and hang up," Gibbs snickered at the look on Tony's face - one of disbelief. "I guarantee - he hears that a couple of times - he'll be calling you to apologise."

"Nah," Tony shook his head defiantly. "Never happen."

"We can wait - it'll happen, Tony. It will happen."

Tony watched him thoughtfully as he continued on his way towards the gently rolling surf and as he did so - he felt the knot in the pit of his stomach begin to disappate - that had been something else he'd forgotten - so used to the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that had taken up residence inside his very being - and he was now visualising confronting his father - not backing down - pacing forward as he accused his father of whatever his father had done to make him the way he was but it was the look of blind terror on the old man's face as he backed away - denying everything - but ending every sentence by waving a check book in his son's face - only to have it snatched from him and tossed away.

Tony frowned - lips pursed. As much as he wanted it to be like that - he knew it couldn't be - he'd have to take a more subtle approach - maybe - as Gibbs had suggested - hang up the phone a couple of times.

"You going to stand there all night?" Gibbs called over his shoulder.

"On your six, Boss."

And all that earned him was a slap to the head.

They walked in silence for a good quarter mile, hand in hand, toes bunching into the wet sand and the water lapped their ankles. Both felt enough had been said - for now. Tony was on the path to - for him at that moment - he had no idea - but he was glad it was Gibbs at his side and no one else.

Gibbs - for his part - knew in his gut they'd really made headway and silently congratulated himself on the success of this weekend - reminding himself to book another vacation - a longer vacation here maybe later in the year - the solitude had done Tony the world of good - and it was then he noticed the way Tony was holding himself - the way he loved to see him hold himself - tall, walking with a purposeful grace - proud and almost aloof - but not quite aloof enough.

"You hungry?" Gibbs asked softly as they came to a stop.

"I am," Tony nodded. "And I'm seeing that fish Anso gave us slap bang in the middle of the coals - fries on the side - beer - "

"Nope - you're not eating crap on your last night here, DiNozzo - fish - salad and glass or three of whatever I haul out of the wine cellar."

"Onion rings? Gotta have something deep fried!" Tony whimpered.

"There is more to cooking than everything dripping with fat," Gibbs chuckled - and at the look on Tony's face - pouting with pleading eyes - he cracked instantly. "Okay - fries it is - and no - you can't have a bowlful all to yourself!"

"Aw," Tony nudged him with an elbow - that goofy smile in place. "You know - deep down - you want some too Boss - go on - nothing better than a nice crispy - "

"Enough!" Gibbs held up a hand.

"After you!"

"It sure will be - last one back is gutting the fish!" And Gibbs was racing off across the sand - leaving Tony spitting sand from his mouth and rubbing his face.

"Hah!" Tony grinned. "That's what you think!!" But he didn't break into a run - choosing instead to slowly walk back - Gibbs's yell of triumph sailing through the darkening evening towards him. "Least I can do," he thought to himself. "He's gone out of his way for me these last few days - more so - I'll just - " he shuddered. "Gut the thing and keep my eyes closed - maybe a couple of retches - and he'll do the job himself." He paused for a moment or two - gazing out over the ocean. "Why can't real life be like this - sun, sea and sex - all a guy needs - all I need - all we need."

The End