Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

It hurt. It hurt like hell! I really had the oppinion that I got the hang of. But when I had to face him for the first time in a very long time that belief vanished immediately. I remebered every second of his valediction. In a pathetic gesture he gave me his badge and his gun. Then he turned round, went to the elevators, answered our looks only with ‘Semper fi' and left without a further goodbye…
And now he stood there and behaved like this situation had never taken place. He came back, took ‘his' team, his desk and finally he even fetched back his badge. What happened to me, Ziva, Tim or Agent Lee didn't matter to him at any time…
"What's your problem Tony?"
Surprised I turned around when I heard a frigid voice behind me.
"Why do you of all people ask me this question?", I wanted to know and looked at him. "You are the only one in this whole agency who knows exactly what's up!"
"I'm sorry Tony. But we two should never have started this thing. We should have been more professional.", he finally replied.
Aghast I stared at him. I could only have misheared what he said. ‘This thing'? ‘More professional'? Damn! We had been in love with each other!
"What is that supposed to mean Jethro?", I asked in a low voice. "Since when do you term our love as a thing?"
"Tony please! Don't be soppy now! We both knew that it was a pleasant change and…"
At that moment he coulnd't keep up talking. Because I striked out and slaped his face. Thereby I had to admit that it was more reflex movement than anything else. But I don't let anyone treat me like shit!
"A pleasant change, yeah? Why then the uncounted times ‘I love you', why the closeness?"
"I…"
For a short moment he seemed to hesitate. But then he spoke again, as cold as before.
"We both knew it wasn't meant to be for good."
After this moment I didn't listen to him anymore. Beside myself in rage I left the conference room. Perhaps it was a hasty decision but I went to Jenny. When Cynthia saw me she only smiled and pointed at the door.
"You can immediately go inside."
"Oh Tony! Hi! What can I do for you?", Jenny wanted to know when I entered her office.
"Does your offer still stand?"
For a short moment she looked at me, really surprised.
"You mean Spain?"
"Yes! I made the decision to accept your offer for a own team and go to Spain."
"I'm really pleased to hear that. It will help your carrer for sure. Is there a special reason which brought you to change your mind? Because after our last talk I didn't have the opinion that you would accept the offer."
"Nothing of importance!", I answered avoidant.
Only short time after that I already sat in an airplane to Madrid. I only said goodbye to ‘my' team. Gibbs I had never seen again after our fight. All this happend about five years ago but it still haunted me. And now my new case forced me to revert to Washington. To ask that
NCIS – team for help which I had left five years ago...

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

"Raul Gonzaga!"
"Hey! It's me!"
"Tony! You're already in Washington?"
"Yes! I'm at the hotel now."
"Then you should lay down and sleep for a while. You sound tired."
"I am!", I answered and yawned. "I only wanted to tell you that I arrived and listen to your voice for a few minutes."
At that moment I could almost imagine figurative how Raul smiled now.
"Go to sleep!"
"Yes daddy!", I grinned and heard how he laughed.
"Nutter!"
"I love you!", I whispered.
"I love you, too!"
Shortly after that we finished our call. Yeah, I was happy. Raul was the best thing that could have happened to me! He was completely different to Gibbs. And I was glad about it. Raul had no difficulties in letting on closeness or showing his feelings. But the most important thing to me was that he loved me without asking or requiring something from me...
After the long flight and the last sleepless nights I really felt tired now. Because of that I lay down and fell asleep immediately. Only when the telephone in the room started ringing I woke up again. Without really opening my eyes I groped for the phone and found it.
"Yeah?"
"Good morning Mister DiNozzo! It is seven o'clock now and this is your wake-up call like you requested."
"Oh yeah! Right! Thanks!"
"You're welcome! Have a nice day!"
Ere I was able to answer something the woman had already hung up. After that I let my head fall back again. Whether this day would be that nice? I didn't know. I had to face the demons I kept hidden in my head for far too long now. And thereby I was clear about the fact that the reunion with Gibbs wouldn't be a pleasent one. But I wondered how the others shaped up. Over the years we had been in regular contact through e-mail. From Ziva I got to know that she was engaged now, to a rich businessman. Tim and Abby were a couple too, at least it looked that way after I read his e-mails. And Ducky still worked for NCIS as a medical examiner. Meanwhile Palmer had quit but Gerald had returned. After a few more minutes I sighed and got up. Shortly after that I had showered and got dressed. Then I went to the dining room to have breakfast. But I was too nervous to really eat something. Because of that I decided to get ready to drive to NCIS head quarters. After all I wasn't on holiday in Washington, I had to crack a case. And this before anybody else got hurt. Slowly I walked back to my room. There I donned my holster and pouched my gun into it. After that I got my ID, my badge, my mobile phone and the documents of the case and everything else that I would need and put it into my bag. Shortly after that I went to my rental car and drove off. As usual the traffic in Washington was utter horror. Most of the time I had to drive at walking speed. When I finally saw the head quarter I was on the road for over an hour and that for a way which took usually only fifteen minutes. And finally I found a parking space too and entered the building. And the thing I recognized there first really surprised me.
"Joe?", I asked dumbfounded and looked at the coloured watchman.
"Tony?", he asked back with a grin. "It is really you?"
Only a few seconds later he pulled me into a fierce embrace.
"What business brings you to Washington? Or do you come back to us?"
"No way man! I really feel good in Spain. And it is very beautiful there. I'm here job-related.", I told him and showed him my ID.
"This I wanted to do for a long time!", Joe smirked thereon and went behind the counter.
When he came back I saw what he hold in his hand. A visitor ID! He grinned from ear to ear while he fixed it on my jacket.
"So I wish you a nice stay!", he laughed and let me pass...

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

Nothing had changed, that was the first thing I realized when I entered Abbys lab with a Caf-Pow in my hand. The music was loud and she was still wearing black clothes. Quietly I went over to the CD player and turned the music off. Surprised Abby spun around.
“Nothing really changed, did it?”, I grinned.
“Tony?”, she almost whispered.
Suddenly she let out a yell, ran over to me and jumped into my arms. Because I didn’t expect it I tilted back. As a consequence I lay on my back and Abby on top of me.
“I can’t believe it! It is really you! You could’ve told us that you are coming to Washington!”, she smiled and pressed herself closer to me.
Shortly after that she got up again, thrusted out her hand and pulled me to my feet. Suddenly the door to the lab opened a second time and Tim ran in the room. Thereby he held his weapon ready to fire in his hand.
“Abby?”, he called.
“Put the weapon away Tim.”, she grinned and went over to him.
“What happened? I heard you scream.”
“I assume that I’m responsible for it.”, I smiled and walked into Tims field of vision.
At the moment he saw me a smile appeared on his lips then he put away his weapon. Slowly he came over to me and finally pulled me into a tight embrace.
“I’m that happy to see you!”, he meant and slapped me on the back.
Then he let me go and sat down on one of the chairs. Abby didn’t hesitate and sat on his legs.
“May I ask you what you are doing in Washington?”, Tim asked a few seconds later.
“Of course! I’m working!”, I answered avoidant.
“You’re coming back?”, Abby wanted to know and her eyes lit up.
“Yes! No!”, I briefly shook my head. “For a while. My team and I are investigating the homicides of several marines and one of our most important trace is leading to Washington.”
But above all Tim didn’t seem to care what I said. He only sighed.
“Do you know how strange it sounds when you talk about your team and don’t refer to us?”, he wanted to know from me and tightened his grip around Abby.
Slightly embarrassed I only watched the floor. Was it possible that my valediction tore a hole in the team that, even after five years, hadn’t mended completely?
“Hey! You’re a great team! You don’t need me!”, I tried to cheer them up.
But I realized it myself that I was failing.
“Since you left not much is how it was used to be Tony.”, Abby objected.
This time Tim only nodded.
“Why?”
“Shortly after you left Gibbs starkly changed. He is even more cagey than before. No-one of us was able to come close to him, neither Ducky nor me. Against the director he became even more aggressive. As far as we know he didn’t speak a single word to her since then. Furthermore he doesn’t seem to have any sort of private life anymore. Sometimes he works for days without eating or sleeping. With us he is only grouchy and excitabliest. I can’t count the times anymore how often he lead Ziva to almost quit her job in the last years. And I have to admit that I miss the Gibbs he was in the past.”, Abby bitterly explained.
Aghast I shook my head. That couldn’t be possible! Above all I felt sorry for the others because it hadn’t been my intention that they all suffered under Gibbs because I decided to leave...

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

Suddenly the door to Abbys lab opened again. But different to my expectation Ducky entered the room not Gibbs. He seemed to be really surprised when he saw me but soon he smiled.
“Anthony! What a nice surprise to see you in Washington!”
“Hello Ducky!”, I smiled.
Then I went over to him and hugged him. I didn’t like admiting it but I was really happy to be with them again and I felt at home in an instant.
“And where is Ziva?”, I wanted to know.
As a response to my question Abby and Tim only grinned.
“What?”
“Ben, her fiance, stopped by a short while ago and now the two are in the office together.”, Tim finally answered.
“Then you have to excuse me. I’m going upstairs!”, I told them and got up.
“Don’t disturb them too much!”, Abby shouted.
Whereat I had to own up that I really was nervous. Because when I went to the office it was clear that I would meet Gibbs too. And I didn’t know how he would react to me. Meanwhile Ducky stayed with Abby and Tim, as far as I got to know they talked about a tissue specimen. So I walked through the notorious hallways to the office, thereby I got almost wistful. As in Abbys lab nothing had changed and I really missed all this in the last years. Not before I saw Ziva at here desk my bad mood vanished. A dark-haired men sat on her chair and she on his legs. The two were kissing and didn’t seem to sense anything what was around them. Casually I leant agains on of the filing cabinets which were put up next to the desk and watched them.
“Agent David! You’re on duty!”, I tried to state sternly.
Dumbfounded they spun around. While the man seemed to be embarrassed Ziva looked at me with disbelief in her gaze. Slowly she got up.
“Tony?”, she asked after a few more seconds. “I don’t believe it! I didn’t think that I would ever see you here again!”
Shortly after that she pulled me into a tight embrace. We stood like that at least for several seconds. Only when we heard someone clear his troath Ziva pushed me away lightly.
“Don’t you want to introduce us?”, I asked with a grin.
“Ben? May I introduce?”, she turned towards her fiance. “Anthony or simply Tony DiNozzo. A former colleague and a good friend of mine. Tony this is my fiance Benjamin Salomon.”
“I’m glad to meet you!”, the man friendly smiled and trusted out his hand.
After we shook hands Ben sat down on the chair again, Ziva on his legs. I lent against my old desk.
“Do you tell me who became the new team member?”, I wanted to know.
“There is no new team member Tony.”, Ziva sighed.
“What?”, I didn’t understand directly what she meant.
“Tim, Gibbs and I, we work together. There is no-one else.”
That was a new information for me. Gibbs hadn’t reoccupied my billet?
“He didn’t hire someone else?”
“Let me tell it this way, there was someone about four years ago. To be exact, a woman, Serena Everst if I remember correctly, But Gibbs treated her worse then me. Because of that she requested a transfer to another team after less than six months. To my knowledge she works now with Agent Sunderland. Since that time everbody who should be transfered to our team refused to work under Gibbs.”
“Do you actually know where he is?”, I wanted to know from Ziva.
“I don’t know it for sure but I think he is meeting Fornell!”
“Fornell?” I asked bewildered.
“Yes, as far as I can gather it involves our latest case. We are required to investigate together with the FBI with joint competence. But I think you can imagine how enthusiastic Gibbs was about this suggestion.”
“Oh yeah!”
Thereby I spontaneously thought of the many scenes where I had experienced Gibbs with agents of the FBI.
“But why are you actually in Washington? Don’t you like beeing in Spain anymore? Or are you on vacation?”, with these questions Ziva finally broke through my thoughts.
“No, I’m here because I need your help. It’s about my new case. Several dead marines and our only usable trace leads to Washington.”
“Traitors don’t have to expect something from me and my team!”
Surprised I spun around, when I suddenly heard that biting cold voice behind me again.
“Hello Gibbs! I’m glad to see again too!”, I growled through gritted teeth.
Bugged he rolled his eyes and went to his desk. There he sat down and skimmed through the file he had brought with him.
“And Agent David? Ran me down enough?”
Instead of answering him Ziva only closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her fiance put his arms protectively around her. How I realized at this gesture situations like these seemed to have happened before too.
“What’s the point of that Gibbs?”, I asked as neutral as possible. “Ziva and I were only talking about my time in Spain!”
“Take on a ride who you want but not me!”, Gibbs yelled thereon.
Shortly after that he took the file and left. Stunned I looked after him, because it appeared that I was the only one who understood the ambiguity behind these sentence...

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

“Actually I should have known that he would react this way.“, frustrated Ziva only sighed. “Thereby I don’t really get it what we did to him.”
At that moment I didn’t answer I only looked into the direction in which Gibbs had left.
“Where does he go now?”
“Drinking coffe, how I assume.”, Ziva answered quietely and shrugged.
“At least one thing that hasn’t changed.”, I stated sarcastically. “I go and look for him.”
“Take care of yourself!”, Ziva called after me.
And after Gibbs behaviour just now I was convinced that I had to be really carefull about the things I was going to do. I was disapointed to no end when I finally walked through the long hallways of the staircase. What did I actually expect when I came to Washington? That Gibbs would hug me and tell me how much he missed me? No, I knew for sure that it would be different. But it was hard on me that he seemingly never understood why I left the team. If he had understood he would have reacted in a different way. Finally I attained the first floor and stepped outside into the sun. Thereby I shuddered, since I had left my jacket in Abbys lab and in Washington it was cold due to the time of the year. After all we already had december. Irresolutely I walked along the building, always looking for Gibbs. On the big, adjacent parking lot I finally saw him. He sat there, on one of the benches, coffe in his hand and stared into space. Without saying a word I sat down next to him and remained silent.
“Why did you come to Washington?”, Gibbs suddenly asked, however he didn’t look at me.
“Because I need your help Jethro! I’ve got this case which I can’t solve alone with my team! Therefor I need you!”
“Give me one good reason why I sould help you!”
I didn’t know why but that statement made me angry.
“Damnit Jethro! I’ve got five dead marines in two weeks! There is no usable trace at the crime scenes, no further evidence or a hint. The only thing I got is this shitty connection of the victims to a company in Washington. And I want to solve this case before anybody else gets hurt!”
“You can turn on the charm with Jen! Perhaps she is going to help you!”
Shortly after that he stood up and walked away. I only watched him leaving. What had become out of Leroy Jethro Gibbs? He seemed to be acerbated to me but first of all he seemed to be lonely. Because I soon got cold I went back into the building as well. After I calmed down a again I returned to Abbys lab.
“Apparently your meeting with Gibbs doesn’t seem to have been very successful, was it?”
To Tims question I only shook my head. Sure, they were my friends but this was something only between me and Gibbs. Over the next minutes a heavy silence lingered over us. Only the ringing of my cell phone broke it again.
“DiNozzo!”
“Gonzaga!”
In the moment I heared Rauls voice it was clear to me that something had happened.
“What’s up?”
“Would it be possible to do a video conference? We’ve got new informations which I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”
Thoughtfully I scratched my head.
“I’ll see what I can do!”, I replied.
Shortly after that we ended our call, expectant the others watched me.
“Would it be possible to do a video conference?”, I wanted to know from Tim.
He only smiled and nodded then.
“No problem!”
Finally we went to the conference room together. For a brief moment I stopped at Zivas desk to ask her to join us because I wanted her there as well. My hands were shaking when I approached Gibbs desk and looked at him. He sat there and seemed to be busy. But I realized immediately that he only feinged it to put me off.
“Do you have time? It is important.”
“What?”, he asked unkindly.
“Conference room!”, I only answered.
With a sigh Gibbs stood up and followed me. Directly when we entered the conference room I saw Tim working on the big computers. I then handed him the data he needed to build the connection to Madrid and put on the headset.
“Bouenos dias Washington!“, Raul greeted.
“Bouenos dias Raul!“, I replied and smiled. “So what’s up?”
For a few moments I only watched how he typed something in his computer. Shortly after that a photo was visible. It showed an elder man in the uniform of the Marine Corps. Strained I rubbed my eyes.
“Please don’t tell me that it is what I think it is.”, I meant quietly.
But Raul only nodded.
“We’ve got a new victim. Jakob Franklin, worked with the supply battalion of the Marines, 52 years old and was killed in the same way as all our other victims. Salvatore didn’t finish the autopsy until now but after his oppinion it is the same perpetrator.”
“And he had contact to this strange company in Washington, too?”
“Yeah!”
“Damn! Damn! Damn!”, I swore. “Could you make sure that we get all the information?”
“You can count on that!”, Raul replied. “I make sure that everything is sent to you. And Tony?”
“Take care of yourself!”, he wispered and smiled.
“You too!”
“We hear from each other!”
“Te quiero!”
“Ah Agent DiNozzo! We’re on duty!”, he laughed. “Te quiero también.“
Only seconds after that the video wall went dark. With a sigh I removed the headset. When I was honest I didn’t know how these new information helped us. We had a new victim, a thing I wanted to prevent. But everything Raul told me didn’t help us along.
“You got really professional!”, with these words Tim interupted my dark thoughts.
Self-consciously I grinned at him. Shortly after that everybody left the conference room to discuss everything. Only Gibbs stayed behind.
“Gibbs?”, I asked in a low voice and stepped towars him.
“Was it this that you wanted to show me? Your new luck?”, he asked.
I shuddered when I heared his voice. In all the years that I worked with this man his voice never sounded like this. So unutterably sad...

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

“Jethro!“, I whispered and knelt down in front of him. “I didn’t want to show you anything. It was all about the case.”
“Sure!”, he answered in a low voice.
Without really knowing what I did I bent forward and pulled him into my arms. Much to my surprise he directly clung to me, laid his head on my neck and sighed deeply.
“I’m sorry to break in on you. But I wanted to know whether the rumours are true.”
Surprised I spun around when I suddenly heard Jens voice. With a somehow forced smile she came up to us.
“Hello Jen!”, I stated and reached my hand out to her.
“Hello Tony!”, she replied and took my hand.
Shortly after that, her eyes fell onto Gibbs. Immediately his gaze was petrified. Sure, he had always been good at hiding his feelings. But what I saw now almost terrified me. Because his eyes lacked of every emotion.
“So Ramirez was right when he told me that he had sent one of his best agents.”
“You spoke to my Director?”
“Yes! He informed me about the case and told me that he had sent his most capable man to investigate.”
“I only hope that he doesn’t expect too much of me.”, I answered shyly.
“You are a very good agent and team leader Tony.”
“Are you done now with your flummeries?”, Gibbs suddenly asked.
His voice was filled with heavy sarcasm. Shortly after that he got up and left the conference room. Jen sighed as she watched him.
“It really goes from bad to worse with him.”
“Abby told me that he changed over the last years.”
She only nodded.
“After his oppinion I led you to leave to take revenge on him.”
“I already had the apprehension that these next weeks wouldn’t be very easy.”
“I assumed that you would do that.”, Jen sighed.
“Do what?”, I wanted to know.
“Well, working with Gibbs and his team. I actually guessed it after I spoke to Ramirez. But if you want to I can ask agent Franklin to assist you. He would certainly be really happy to work with you.”
“Thanks Jen, I really appreciate that. But I owe it to them.”, I stated and left the conference room.
Slowly I walked down the stairs and into the office again. In the meantime all the others sat there. Only Zivas fiance had left.
“Where do we start?”, Tim wanted to know and smiled at me.
“Well, I would say...”, but before I could finish my sentence I was interrupted by Gibbs.
“You are still under my controll agent McGee!”
At that moment it struck me like a physical blow when I saw how Tim jumped after these words and starred embarrassed on his desk. Furiously Gibbs turned towards me.
“You as the super agent are for sure able to go it alone!”, he meant scornful.
Before I could answer something to this attack we were stopped.
“Agent Gibbs!”, Jens voice wasn’t loud but poignant, her anger was visible too. “You are going to work together with agent DiNozzo! And that wasn’t a request but an order! An order from me as Director of NCIS!”
For a moment I feared that Gibbs was going to attack Jen. Because his gaze alone was very hostile.
“If you say so Madame Director!”, he pressed out through gritted teeth and angrily looked at me again.
Only a few seconds after that Jen had gone back to her office. Between us fell a heavy silence in the next minutes. Because even for me it was something new that Gibbs had to be forced to crack a case.
“So you heard it, we are forced to work with you by the order of the Director. What do you ask for?”, Gibbs asked almost fretful.
“Tell me Tim, didn’t Abby want to give us a report on an analysis of a bullet from another case?”
Gibbs didn’t seem to notice but I realized immediately that she only searched for a reason to leave the office. At first Tim didn’t seem to understand it but then he nodded and got up.
“Yeah, you’re right.”, he finally answered in a low voice.
Shortly after that both of them took their things, went to the elevator and got in.
“Was it that what you wanted to do? Drive a wedge between my team?”
“What?”, confused I looked at him.
“Before you came here everything was all right! But now? Now you are about to destroy my team!”, he shouted.
“All right? Before I came here everything was all right?”, I asked rhetorically. “You don’t know a thing about your people!”
“I know my team!”
“You only believe that! Do you even know how everybody worries about you? Or do you see still see how you torture them with your behaviour?”
“Damn!”
“Just look at Ziva! I worked with her for several years. She always was such a strong person. Nobody and nothing was able to get her down, not even your dismissive behaviour. But now? She seemes like a small intimidated girl who is afraid of the dark. And I know too, that she was more than once shy of handing in her notice.”
“Abby!”, Gibbs only answered and rolled his eyes. “You talked to Abby!”
“So what? It doesn’t matter from whom I got this information. All I want is that my
friends feel well!”
After my words Gibbs laughed malicious.
“Over the last five years it didn’t matter to you how they were! How we all were! But now you act like the upholder of moral standards!”
“Whatever!”, I replied and went to the elevator, however in front of it I stopped and turned round again. “Did you know that I was in regular contact with everyone out of the team over the last five years?”
With a light feeling of triumph I realised that Gibbs looked after me spechless and visibly shocked when I entered the elevator...