It had been a long week, and Abby Sciuto was tired. Tired of the overwhelming amount of evidence that she couldn’t seem to process fast enough, tired of being barked at by Gibbs, tired of being taken for granted and tired of being alone…. Just plain fucking tired of everything.



“Watcha got for me Abbs?” Gibbs asked as he briskly entered her lab for the 3rd time in the past two hours.

“Nothing! Jesus Gibbs! I told you I would come up and get you when I found something!

“We need something now Abby! This guy’s gonna walk if we don’t get something on him soon.”

“Well I don’t know what to tell you Special Agent Gibbs, because I cannot bypass chain of evidence, I cannot make my machines go any faster and I cannot pull answers out of my ass! So you’re just going to have to be patient and wait like everyone else!” Abby finished, slightly out of breath from her impromptu rant.

Gibbs eyed Abby then stepped in closer to her. Very close. He put his mouth next to her ear and whispered, “I’ll be back in one hour and you’d better have something for me.” Then he kissed her cheek and turned and walked out of the lab.

She shivered and cursed her body for responding to him. She hated how much she loved him. She hated even more that she couldn’t let herself act on her feeling towards him. She wouldn’t let herself. She knew Gibbs rule number 12 and she wasn’t about to make a fool out of herself by telling him how much she loved him just to be shot down. Their friendship meant to much to her to risk that…. But it was getting harder and harder to hide the way she felt, she figured that maybe if she pushed him away, her feelings would disappear. So far, it wasn’t working.




An hour later Gibbs strode back in just like he promised, only this time he walked up to her and handed her a Caf-Pow!.... which she promptly took it and dropped it in the trash.

He glared at her. “Did I do something to piss you off Abby?” He said in his most intimidating voice.

“Do you want the damn results or not, Gibbs?” she spat before turning on her heals and heading over to her computer.

“Abby…”

“The DNA from the blood at the crime scene belongs to a Petty Officer Tarah Mayson, 23 years old. I pulled her service records and background. Here.” She said as she shoved the files at him and walked through the sliding glass doors and to her desk to retrieve her belongings before heading home. It was late and she just wanted to get out of here, wanted to get away from Gibbs and his ice blue eyes and his voice and ugh! Everything!

Gibbs followed her into her office and blocked her path as she went to leave.

“What the hell is going on Abby? What’s wrong?” he demanded.

“Nothing Gibbs. Nothing is wrong. Just leave me alone.” And with that, she walked around him and out of her lab. Glad to be going home.

As Abby walked through her front door, she threw all of her stuff down on the small table to her left and promptly locked the door behind her. A hot bath, that’s what she decided she needed. She turned on some music and began stripping off her clothes on the way to the bathroom. She started the bath water and proceeded to grab something small and shiny from the medicine cabinet, setting it beside the tub. Once she was settled in the water, she laid back leisurely. “Ahhh…” she thought, “this is perfect. A hot bath, music… and my razor blade.”

Abby had been cutting since she was 13. No particular reason except for the fact that it made her feel better. It always had the ability to take her problems away, even if it was only for a few minutes. No matter what the problem, no matter how lonely she got or alone she actually was, she always had her razor blade. No one ever knew of course, and she definitely planned on keeping it that way. She was good at hiding things that she didn’t want people to know about. Always had been.

A bad breakup, cut a line. A bad day, cut a line. Gibbs yelled at her, cut many more lines.
That’s just how she did things. She figured it was better than doing drugs or going out and having anonymous sex. When she cut, it seemed to give her a sort of salvation. Forgiving her of her sins and cleansing her from the inside out.


Jethro Gibbs was frustrated. Abby was one of his best friends, and the woman he loved… He hated that he couldn’t tell her that. He’s wanted to so many times but just couldn’t bring himself to take the chance on ruining his friendship with her. After all, what would a beautiful, smart, intriguing young woman like Abby want with a broken down old Marine? Nothing. That was the answer he came up with.

“I’m going over there. Something’s not right...” He stated out loud to himself.


Abby sighed as she drug the razor blade across her upper arm, feeling all the tension from the past few days, slipping away and down her arm in crimson colored drops.


As Gibbs drove to Abby’s apartment he racked his brain trying to figure out what could be bothering her. What had he done to so royally piss her off? Well, he though, I’m sure as hell going to find out. He parked and took the stairs up to Abby’s apartment. He could here her music blaring from the hallway and was thankful Abby was actually home. He knocked a few times and when he received no answer, he dug in his pocket to find the key Abby had given him for emergencies. He slowly walked in and surveyed his surroundings. It was fairly dark inside the apartment and quiet and still except for the loud melodic booming of Green Satan coming from the stereo. “God that’s some loud music” he thought to himself.

He didn’t see Abby anywhere so he walked in the direction of the hallway. He saw the light on in the bathroom and noticed that the door was ajar. He knew he should probably knock but he for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to. He pushed the door open slowly and stepped into the bathroom. He looked towards the tub and couldn’t believe what he was seeing…