Chapter One

It started like every other evening that had passed since he’d got home from the hospital following a gun shot wound to the shoulder, from a crime scene that went wrong. Gibbs had been stopping by, along with the rest of the team to make sure he had everything he needed - he couldn’t drive anywhere with his shoulder still in a sling and still on the Vicodin the doctor had prescribed to help with the pain, so Gibbs was picking him up first thing in the morning for his return to work.

He was going back earlier than planned and would be stuck on desk duty for a few more weeks but despite him hating it with a passion, it still had to be better than staying at home going stir-crazy. He’d watched so many DVD’s that he was actually beginning to feel sick at the thought of another movie - which he’d thought would never be possible.

It was 9pm and although he had work in the morning, Tony decided that he’d go for a quick run before showering and heading to bed - the last thing he wanted was to oversleep and have an angry Gibbs to contend with at 6am in the morning.

He quickly changed into some sweats and headed out, not bothering to take anything with him, but the clothes on his back. Later, he would curse that mistake, but for the moment blissful ignorance was his friend.

He started out on his normal route, setting a slower pace than normal so as not to jar his shoulder - he’d have to take some painkillers before bed since he’d found that without them he couldn’t find a comfortable position in which to sleep.

The hands that grabbed him came from nowhere and before he could react he was thrown to the floor. He tried to hit out at the figure holding him down, but they’d found his weakness - his shoulder - and were pressing on it to keep him still.

When they pulled at his pants, he froze, realizing that he couldn’t get away and that they were able to do whatever they wanted to him and he was helpless…why the hell had he left his gun at home?

Later, he would look back and wonder why he, as a trained NCIS special agent, didn’t bite the hand in his mouth and scream for help anyway, why he didn’t use his legs to kick out at his attacker, why nobody was on the street when it wasn’t even that late and why that man had chosen him to rape.

It was over with in a matter of minutes and once his attacker had fled the scene, Tony got himself up and continued his run as if nothing had happened - he couldn’t quite process what he’d just been put through, despite the pain and bruises he was sure would be there once the morning came.

Once he got home he stripped and limped to the shower, he stayed there for a full forty minutes, scrubbing until the skin broke. As he stood under the hot spray, the nights events played over in his head. He didn’t break down, he didn’t call for help and he didn’t care about preserving any evidence on his body, he just wanted that man’s scent off him - whatever it took.

It wasn’t until he was out of the shower and dry that he realised what he had to do, no clear thoughts went through his head as he took the almost full bottle of Vicodin and chased each tablet down with a glass of bourbon. As the witching hour approached, he was ready to sleep - the pain dulled, both mentally and physically. Sleep claimed him in a matter of minutes.

~*~

“God dammit, Tony. If I have to use ms key and I find you in bed, I’m gonna be so pissed,” Gibbs muttered to himself, as he banged on Tony’s door waiting for an answer. He waited another few minutes to give the man time to get out of the shower or whatever the hell he was doing before giving up and using his key.

The apartment was silent, no water running, nothing to signal that Tony was even out of bed. Gibbs stormed his way into Tony’s bedroom and cursed under his breath when he saw the man still in bed, sleeping like a baby.

He crossed the room in three easy strides and leant down to shake Tony awake. “Dinozzo! Come on, Dinozzo, I don’t have all day,” Gibbs shouted, as he shook him. Having been in this situation once before, he knew that Tony was a pretty light sleeper and should have woken once he heard Gibbs’ key in the door, but he hadn’t and that put an uneasy feeling in Gibbs’ stomach.

Looking around the room, he noticed that empty Vicodin bottle. “Great, he’s drugged. Come on, Dinozzo, you have five seconds to get up before I leave without you!” Gibbs shook him harder this time, adding a head slap to see if that would rouse his senior agent from his slumber.

When Tony didn’t react to the headslap, Gibbs got worried. He took a closer look and noticed how pale Tony was, then how shallow his breathing was. Something was wrong here - very wrong and he couldn’t quite place his finger on it, but his gut told him that the next step was to call Ducky and have him check Tony over. Just to make sure that nothing was wrong.

Ducky said he would make his way over quickly, sensing from the tone of Gibbs’ voice that he didn’t want to be kept waiting.

Gibbs kept shaking Tony until he heard Ducky knock and with a backward glance to make sure Tony would be fine while he went to the door, he let Ducky in.

“What seems to be the problem, Jethro?” Ducky asked, as he followed Gibbs into Tony’s bedroom.

“I can’t wake him, he’s obviously taken some painkillers for his shoulder, but still I’m been shaking him since I arrived and nothing. He looks paler than usual and he seems to be breathing slower.”

“I’ll have a look at him, but the painkillers probably just knocked him out.”

“Yeah, probably.” Gibbs tried to feel reassured by Ducky’s words, but that niggling feeling in his gut told him that this was more than a deep sleep.

“Hello, my dear boy,” Ducky said, grabbing his stethoscope from his bag and listening to Tony’s breathing. He frowned as he moved it over Tony’s chest.

“What’s wrong, Duck?” Gibbs asked.

“You’re right about his breathing. Too shallow for sleep. Let me check his pupils.” Ducky grabbed a penlight from his pocket and leaned over Tony’s unconscious form. Lifting first one and then the other eyelid, he shone the light into Tony’s eyes. When he saw the pinpoint pupils, he stopped and reached for the empty Vicodin bottle on the bedside table. “Jethro, these were only filled yesterday, his pupils are pinpoint,” Ducky said, unsure how to tell Gibbs what was wrong with Tony.

“Your point, Duck?”

“I’m afraid young Anthony has taken an overdose. We need to get him to Bethesda immediately. Keep trying to rouse him while I call for an ambulance,” Ducky told Gibbs, stepping back and reaching for Tony’s house phone.

Gibbs’ mind raced, he couldn’t believe that Tony would ever be so stupid as to swallow a whole bottle of pills. What would be that bad? He could think of nothing that had happened recently that would explain this, Tony hadn’t even been depressed when he’d seen him the morning before. He’d seemed pleased to be going back to work. Something else was going on here and Gibbs intended to find out what it was.

He could hear Ducky’s voice in the background explaining to a dispatcher how urgent it was that they have an ambulance immediately, though it didn’t seem to be happening in the same room. All Gibbs could see and hear was Tony’s labored breathing as he fought against the drugs battling through his system.

’Tony, what have you done to yourself? And why the hell did you do it? Why didn’t you call me? Come on, Dinozzo, wake up and come back to us’ he thought to himself as he continued to try and wake Tony.

“They can’t get here for at least fifteen minutes - accident on the freeway,” Ducky said, hanging up the phone and breaking Gibbs’ train of thought.

“Screw that, I can get him there in five,” Gibbs said. “Ducky, I’ll carry him, you sit in the back with him and I’ll drive.” Gibbs threw back the blanket over Tony and went to lift him. Tony was no lightweight, but Gibbs had been a marine and carried men heavier than him out of harm’s way in combat, he could sure as hell get Tony to the hospital and start to make sense of it all.

It was when he lifted Tony out of the bed that he noticed the blood stains on the sheet below him. He set him down again and started checking him for any open wounds - maybe that would explain why Tony had taken so many Vicodin. Ducky helped him turn Tony and that was when they noticed the dark stain of dried blood on the back of Tony’s pants.

Gibbs’ face set as he put together the pieces and realised why his senior field agent had done what he’d done. He’d been raped.

Chapter Two

Once they were sure Tony wasn’t actively bleeding from anywhere, Gibbs lifted him and carried him to the car. He was like a limp doll, his head lolling about as Gibbs walked, he wanted to give him some more support, but couldn’t risk losing the valuable time they had in which to get Tony to a hospital.

Ducky sat in the back, while Gibbs drove - the siren he never used atop the car, flashing and howling to warn other motorists that Gibbs was stopping for nobody. Ducky kept listening to Tony struggle to breath, kept checking his pulse to make sure it was there and overall, just kept checking that Tony was still with them as they drove.

They arrived at Bethesda within minutes and Ducky left Gibbs to watch over his senior agent whilst he briefed the doctors of Tony’s condition. Without any help, Gibbs lifted Tony onto a gurney and kept hold of his hand as they rushed him into the ER. He stayed at Tony’s side as the doctor began his examination, shouting orders, putting in IV’s, drawing blood to check the levels in Tony’s blood and snaking a catheter into Tony’s urethra to keep an eye on his kidney function.

Ten minutes after they had arrived, everyone seemed calmer and the doctor had stopped shouting orders to everyone within hearing distance. He looked at Gibbs and nodded for him to follow as he left the room to explain the details of Tony’s condition to the two friends that had brought him here.

“He’s critical. We can’t ascertain without the blood results how much he took and how long ago. We’ll transfer him to the ICU where he’ll be monitored closely, but you have to realise that there is no antidote for an overdose of this size, Tony is unconscious and in a coma, he runs the risk of permanent liver and kidney damage - which we’re giving him drugs to combat, but like I said, without knowing the exact dosage and when he took the drugs, we don’t know what kind of strain he’s put on his organs. The next twenty four to forty eight hours are critical, he may not survive,” the doctor explained, his expression grave.

“Can I stay with him?” Gibbs asked, not wanting to leave Tony alone while he was in this state. His mind flashed back to the events of two years previously when Tony had been infected with plague. Under the blue lights of the isolation unit, he’d looked pale, sweaty and worse than a concentration camp survivor. Gibbs had watched as Tony had struggled to catch each breath, certain - but also scared - that he would disobey the direct order given to him and die. Right now, Tony looked worse, his skin was clammy and cold to the touch, he was barely holding his own and all Gibbs could think was, ’Why didn’t you call? I could have helped, I could have stopped this.’

“Of course, I’ll arrange for a pull out cot to be placed in Tony’s room,” the doctor replied, giving Gibbs a nod as he spoke. He knew that he had to gather the evidence of Tony’s attack before too long so that they could catch the bastard that had done this, but his mind was elsewhere.

In the end, it was Ducky who brought it to the doctors attention. “Doctor, we think that Tony was raped, causing this situation, there’s evidence to be gathered. Is it possible you can arrange for a rape kit to be done?”

The doctors face turned grim as he listened to Ducky explain, he nodded and was about to say something when a nurse appeared from the trauma room where Tony was being treated.

“He’s bradycardic, doctor,” she said. The doctor gave one last look at Gibbs and Ducky before following the nurse back into the trauma room. Gibbs was not sitting in some god for saken waiting room while his senior field agent’s life held in the balance and he motioned for Ducky to follow him.

The scene that greeted them when they entered the trauma room almost stopped Gibbs’ own heart. The heart monitor was beeping and Tony seemed to be breathing even slower.

Once again, the doctor was shouting commands. “We need to intubate, he’s not going to be able to hold his own for much longer. Push the drugs and I’ll scope him.” Gibbs watched as they pushed drugs into one of Tony’s IVs and then the doctor laid him flat and tilted his head back before passing a tube into his throat so that they could breathe for him.

A nurse started to bag Tony as they watched, more drugs were ordered and given to Tony via the IV and Gibbs wondered if he could stop holding his breath. The heart monitor was still shrieking its alarm and the doctor seemed to get more agitated by it.

“It’s down to twenty-five, dammit. Get the external pacemaker, we need to get that heart rate back up,” he shouted to a nurse, who disappeared from the room returning minutes later and attaching another machine to Tony’s chest. It seemed to do the job because the heart monitor soon stopped alarming and Tony’s chest started to twitch.

“What have they done to him?” Gibbs asked Ducky, not wanting to bother the doctor while he tried to stablise Tony.

“It’s an external pacemaker, Tony’s heart rate had dropped to a dangerously low level because of the overdose so they’re using it to control his heart rate and keep it high enough to keep pumping blood and oxygen round his body. The signals it gives to keep the heart going make Tony’s chest convulse, it’s nothing to worry about - it’s not giving him any discomfort,” Ducky explained.

Gibbs sighed, watching Tony’s chest rise, fall and twitch, it shouldn’t have happened like this, Tony should have called him. Why hadn’t he called?

Once the doctor had managed to stablise Tony, he was quickly moved from the ER to the ICU, Gibbs following him all the way as they pushed the gurney, drips and various monitors that were keeping Tony alive. Once they had transferred him onto the bed and made him comfortable, Gibbs took his place by Tony’s bed, reaching out to hold the only hand not attached to any machinery or drip.

Ducky stood watching the pair. “I spoke to the doctor, he’s arranged for a nurse to come and do the rape kit,” he told Gibbs.

“Good, we need the evidence processed asap. I want to know the bastard that did this and take him down,” Gibbs replied.

“The others will have to be informed.”

“I trust you can do that. I want to stay with Tony, he’s going to need someone with him when he wakes up.”

“I can do that. You realise that it will take the whole of the US Marine force to keep Abby from here once she finds out, don’t you?”

“I know, but she’s needed in the lab. I want her to process whatever evidence we can find. Get McGee and Ziva to go back to Tony’s apartment and grab the sheets from his bed and anything else that might help us solve this.”

“Will do.”

“Thanks, Duck.”

“Do you need anything before I go? Coffee?”

“I’ll get one of the nurses to bring me some, right now I’m going on pure adrenalin alone.”

“Okay, I’ll head back to NCIS and tell the others, call me if there’s any news.”

“Will do, Duck.” Ducky gave one last glance at Tony’s still form before leaving him alone with Gibbs and praying that he pulled through this and came out the other side relatively unharmed.

Chapter Three

Ducky was greeted with Ziva and McGee working when he arrived in the bullpen. He didn’t really want to have to repeat what had happened to Tony more than once, so before saying anything to the other two, he picked up Gibbs’ phone and called Abby up from her lab.

She arrived within a few minutes, sensing that something was wrong when it was Ducky calling from Gibbs’ phone and not the usual grumpy tone she had come to accept from Gibbs.

“What’s up, Duck?” she asked, when she reached the office. When she saw the grim look on his face, she sank down on McGee’s desk. “It’s bad, isn’t it?”

Ducky nodded, motioning for Ziva to join them at McGee’s work station. “Gibbs will not be coming into work for a few days,” he started.

“What happened to the bossman?” Abby demanded.

“It’s Tony,” Ducky corrected her. “We think he was attacked and raped sometime last night, Jethro found him unconscious in his apartment this morning, he’d taken an overdose.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Abby asked, sounding and looking worried.

“The next twenty-four to forty-eight hours will be critical, Jethro plans to stay with him so that someone will be there when he wakes up,” Ducky told her, not mentioning the ’if he wakes up…’ that was going through his mind.

“McGee, can you drive me to Bethesda?” Abby said, turning to face him.

“Abby, Jethro wants you here to analyse any evidence that comes to light with Tony’s rape exam.”

“I need to check he’s okay!”

“I can assure you there is nothing you can do to help Tony right now, Jethro is taking care of it and the doctor is a competent fellow. Your presence would just make things worse and like I said, somebody needs to process the evidence so that we can catch whoever did this to poor Tony.”

Abby looked at Ducky, trying to read his expression but he gave nothing away, just that he too was hurting at the thought of Tony’s suffering. She started to pace up and down the office, hugging herself as she thought of all that could happen to Tony while he was in the state he was, but she accepted that the best place for her was the lab - it would give her something positive to do in such an awful situation.

Ducky looked at McGee and Ziva. “Jethro wants you to go to Tony’s apartment and collect the bed sheets for testing as well as checking for any other evidence,” he told them.

Ziva looked shocked like she hasn’t heard Ducky since he told them what had happened to Tony, but she nodded her head like she had heard and when she saw McGee stand up, she understood what they needed to do and looked over at McGee. “I will drive.” He nodded and they disappeared into the elevator, leaving Abby still pacing and Ducky unsure what to do with himself until he heard from Gibbs about Tony’s condition.

~*~

Twenty minutes after they had settled Tony into his room in the ICU, a nurse carrying a rape kit appeared in his room. Gibbs knew that it had to be done to enable them to catch Tony’s attacker, but still, he wished they didn’t have to violate Tony’s privacy any more than it already had been.

“I won’t be long sir,” the nurse said, setting up the various equipment on a portable table.

“Please call me Gibbs.”

“Do you want to wait outside while I do this, Gibbs? The nurse asked.

“I’m staying with him,” Gibbs told her. He knew that she was trying to protect Tony’s modesty, but he’d have to deal with the fact when he woke up that Gibbs had been present during his rape exam. Right now, he couldn’t imagine himself anywhere but Tony’s side.

“I only ask because I think Mr. Dinozzo would appreciate the privacy,” the nurse said, giving Gibbs a stern look.

Well, he could do stern looks like that best of them and he returned one to the nurse. “It’s Special Agent Dinozzo and like I said, I’m staying.”

The nurse sighed deeply, but said nothing more as she pulled down the blanket covering Tony and moved him in preparation for the exam.

Gibbs watched as she did the exam, squeezing Tony’s hand when he saw something that he thought would hurt the man, he knew that it was high likely that Tony could feel nothing, but in case he could he wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone going through this.

After ten minutes, the nurse had finished and was sealing the evidence container. “I assume you want this to go to NCIS for processing?” she asked. Gibbs could only nod, his voice lost as he thought of all that Tony had had to go through in the past twelve hours. Nobody should suffer like he had and if, no when, Gibbs caught the person or persons responsible he was going to make them pay.

The nurse was gone when Gibbs next looked up and once again it was him and Tony in the silent room. “God, Dinozzo, what am I going to do with you?” he asked the unconscious man. “You could have called me, y’know? I would have been there for you, I would have collected the evidence myself if that’s what you wanted, but to do this, to act like you’re all alone in the world? That I can’t understand, we’re a family - all of us - and whether you like it or not, we’re going to help you get through this.”

He sensed the change in Tony before the alarms sounded and was at the call button before the seizure had its grip on him. “Dammit Dinozzo, you’re stronger than this. You will not die, do you hear me? I meant it when you had the plague and I sure as hell mean it now!” Gibbs told the seizing Tony.

Soon, doctors and nurses flooded the room and Gibbs stood back while they worked on once again stablising Tony. It seemed like an hour before the thrashing stopped and Tony was once again still on the bed, apart from the twitches that the pacemaker caused, and finally Gibbs could breathe again.

The room emptied, leaving only the doctor who had first treated Tony in the ER. “I got the blood results back,” he told Gibbs.

“And?”

“It was as I suspected from the symptoms Tony displayed, he’s taken a massive overdose. It’s been in his system long enough for the tablets to have their full effect, if he survives he’s looking at long term liver damage, heart problems, kidney problems and a list of other things that could effect his day to day living. I’ve ordered some more drugs to combat some of these, but like I said in the ER, it’s critical right now. The next few hours will tell us if he’ll survive and after that we can look at any long term problems he may suffer.”

“Why the seizure?”

“Vicodin at this dosage causes many problems to the body and places stress on all the organs including the brain, I’ll order an anti-seizure drug to stop any damage being done through the seizures, but that’s all I can do right now, I’m sorry I can’t do more.”

Gibbs sighed at this news, he didn’t want to hear about permanent damage done to Tony because of this, he wanted to hear that his senior agent would pull through, would come back to work, would watch his six on cases ��" not that there was a big chance of him being permanently disabled.

“Can I use my cell in here?”

“No, they affect the equipment.”

“I need to call my team and keep them apprised of Tony’s condition.”

“You can call from the desk if you like.”

“I don’t want to leave him.”

“I can assure you he will be fine for a few moments while you make a call. He probably isn’t even aware that you are even here.”

“That’s not the point, I’m staying with him.”

The doctor sighed, realising he wasn’t going to win the battle with Gibbs. “Okay, I’ll arrange for a phone to be brought in.”

“Thank you.”

He left, leaving Tony back in Gibbs’ care. Gibbs took his place back at Tony’s side, reaching out to grab his hand once more. He sighed and looked at Tony, a machine breathing for him, a machine keeping his heart beating and ultimately machines keeping him alive. “Why didn’t you call, Dinozzo?” he asked again, not expecting an answer, but desperately wanting to know.

The phone was brought to Gibbs and he dialed the number for the morgue. Ducky answered on the third ring. “Morgue.”

“Duck, it’s me,” Gibbs said.

“Ah, how is young Anthony?”

“He had a seizure. The doc said it’s to be expected and put him on some drugs to stop him having anymore. The blood results show he took a massive overdose and it’s been long enough since he took them for them to be absorbed into his bloodstream.”

“Oh dear.”

“Told me all the problems he could have if he woke up.”

“You had to have expected that, Jethro. Vicodin is not good for the system even in the recommended dosage, never mind an overdose of the size Tony took.”

“I don’t want him to suffer after this, he’s suffered enough.”

“Nobody wants to hear that about a loved one, but sadly it’s unlikely Tony will make a full recovery.”

“So long as he doesn’t die, otherwise he’ll have to answer to me.”

“Yes, quite. Abby is here, waiting for something to process and I sent Ziva and McGee to Tony’s apartment. As you can imagine, they were all very shocked by the news.”

“Thanks for doing that, Duck. Tell Abby that once she’s processed everything, she can give me her report at Bethesda, it would be nice to talk to someone who isn’t comatosed.”

“I shall pass that on, the poor young girl will be glad to know that.”

“I’ll call you if anything changes,” Gibbs said. Ducky wished him well and hung up, leaving Gibbs with only the beep of monitors to keep him company.

Chapter Four

Ziva pulled up outside Tony’s apartment and stopped the car but before she got out she looked over at McGee. “You have a key, yes?” she asked, suddenly realising that they had no way to get in and collect evidence now they were here.

“I don’t. I assumed you must have one when you said you’d drive,” McGee replied, looking sheepish.

“I shall pick the lock then,” Ziva told him. Normally, this would have been accompanied by a smile from Ziva but she couldn’t bring herself to do that - not with Tony lying in a coma having been attacked by somebody. Never mind what Gibbs would do to them when they got hold of whoever was responsible, the Mossad agent had a few of her own ideas, none of which were totally legal.

They both got out of the car and made their way to Tony’s apartment, while McGee kept watch, Ziva set about picking the lock. Both of them were mentally preparing themselves for what they might find inside. Neither wanted to find evidence that Tony had indeed been raped, but at the same time, they wanted the evidence so that they had some clue as to who they were looking for.

It took Ziva less than a minute to pick the lock and soon they were inside. They set down their bags and surveyed the scene in front of them. Both could tell that Gibbs and Ducky had left with Tony in a hurry. Not surprising considering the gravity of his condition.

“Which way is the bedroom?” Ziva asked McGee, knowing that he’d been to see Tony at home before. They both had in the previous week since his release from hospital following the gun shot, but Ziva had never ventured further than the living room, whereas McGee had seen Tony when he’d been recovering from plague and was stuck in bed.

“This way,” McGee told her, pointing to a hallway that led to three doors. One, Ziva assumed was the bathroom, one, the spare room and the other Tony’s bedroom. She followed McGee as he grabbed his backpack and the kit and walked down the hallway to the door on the end.

It wasn’t closed, the bedcovers were thrown across the bed, and it looked like they had left in a hurry. What caught McGee’s eye as he surveyed the room was the blood on the sheets. The thought of what it implied actually made him feel sick. That someone had raped Tony and that he’d laid there, taken an overdose and bled from his wounds onto the sheet.

He sighed and pulled on a pair of gloves before crossing the room, he started to get the sheet off the bed before Ziva, also having donned gloves, came to help him. She pulled out a brown paper bag that was used to transfer clothes and other materials with evidence on them to the lab.

Once they were sure they had everything they needed from the bedroom, they split up and started to look around the rest of the apartment for any clues that might lead them to the perpetrator. They looked for a long time, but found only clues that Tony had showered recently, and of course, the offending bottle of Vicodin that stared at them, mocking them. Ziva grabbed it and was about to put it out with the trash when McGee stopped her.

“They might need it at the hospital,” he said.

“Surely, they would have taken it with them if they did,” she replied.

“That’s true, maybe we should take them with us and have Abby check for fingerprints.”

“Why would we do that, McGee?”

“Maybe Tony didn’t take the pills willingly, maybe someone forced him to. Maybe he was attacked at home and they didn’t want him to report them,” McGee said, realising after he said it how stupid it sounded.

Ziva gave him a look and sighed again. “I do not think Tony could be overpowered in his own home. Not when he has a gun or his phone.”

“I know, but we should check anyway. Gibbs would kill us if we left something vital out just because it didn’t sound completely plausible.”

“You are right, we will take it to Abby.” She pulled a small, plastic bag from her kit and slid the empty pill bottle into it before adding it to the rest of the evidence they had collected. “We better get these to Abby, I am sure she is going stupid with nothing to do.”

McGee looked at her. “I think you mean crazy.”

“Well, I would not say Abby was crazy…”

“No, I mean, it’s not ‘going stupid’, it’s ‘going crazy’.”

“Ah, right. Well, we should get back to the office.”

“Sure.” They picked up their bags and headed back towards the front door, locking it behind them as they left.

Ziva once again drove, which left McGee a chance to digest all that he had been told since Ducky had arrived in the office that morning. Someone had attacked Tony, Tony had been violated in the worst possible way and then he’d tried to take his own life. He wondered if there would be any news of Tony’s condition once they got back. He assumed that Gibbs would be in contact with someone - Ducky, most likely - and he hoped that if it was him, he had the good sense to pass the information pertaining to Tony’s condition onto the rest of the team.

They arrived back at NCIS HQ and headed down to the lab to hand over the evidence to Abby so that she could start processing it and maybe make sense of it all.

She said nothing to either one of them as she took the evidence, signed and dated the log and then turned to her machines.

“I know you want to know if I have anything - his rape kit should be here in minutes, but I can’t work with you guys looking over my shoulder, so leave me to do my thing and I’ll give you the results as soon as I have them. Ducky said Gibbs wants to me to report to him at Bethesda, so I’ll do that and when I come back I’ll let you know what’s going on with Tony,” Abby told the two silent agents. They both nodded and left her to work, praying silently that she would have something and that Tony’s attacker would be in the system so all they would have to do was bring him down.

~*~

It was two hours before Abby had the results and was able to give her report to Gibbs. She had driven in with McGee that morning which was why she had asked him for a lift when she’d found out what had happened to Tony, but she knew that Gibbs would not want the whole team turning up to sit with him at Tony’s bedside so she called a cab, report in hand, and made her own way to Bethesda.

She made her way to the ICU, located on the third floor of the hospital. Ducky had told her what room Tony was in and so the need to ask anyone anything was non-existent, meaning she could continue to think positive thoughts and mentally prepare herself to what Tony would look like.

When she arrived at his room, she knocked on the door to let Gibbs know who it was, then opened it to find Tony unconscious on the bed, with tubes, IVs and machinery attached to him, with Gibbs sat to one side of him, holding his hand.

“Hey, bossman,” she said, keeping her voice low to hide the rush of emotions she was feeling.

“Hey, Abs. You got some news for me?” Gibbs asked, not moving from his spot. Before Abby arrived he had been talking to Dinozzo about all that was being done to catch his attacker, he didn’t know if the man could hear him and to be honest he didn’t really care, all that mattered was that he knew they were doing all they good to make this right again.

“But, of course.”

Gibbs looked at Abby sternly. “Well, I don’t have all day.”

“Yeah, sorry, it’s just…”

“I know seeing him like this is hard, but we have to do our jobs. We have to catch the bastard who put Tony here. So, spill.”

Normally when giving Gibbs a report, Abby would tell him all that she’d done to get the results she had, but she sensed that right now the timing wasn’t right for the run around so she decided to just give him the results flat out. “The blood on Tony’s sheets was his, same blood type at least ��" you’ll have to wait for DNA, I left it running. There were only Tony’s and what I can only assume is the pharmacy’s fingerprints on the bottle of Vicodin, of course I ran the unknown through AFIS just in case but I came up empty. The sperm they took from Tony was degraded because of time and I guess water - I think he must have showered at some point after the attack - but it was good enough for a DNA sample and again, no hits yet, but I left it running.”

“Why are you here then?”

“To give you my report.”

“That’s not a full report if some of the evidence is still running.”

“I know, but I brought my laptop and can set it up here while I wait for it to find a match,” Abby told him, producing a laptop from the bag she was carrying. “I just wanted to see him, Gibbs. Ducky told us there was no news and it’s been nearly sixteen hours since he took the overdose and I know they said it would be critical for a while, but I had to be here. Tony is family, y’know? I couldn’t wait in my lab while he is laying somewhere, possibly dying!”

“He is not going to die. I gave him a direct order, Abs and he will follow it or he’ll have me to contend with,” Gibbs replied, his voice stern. He turned to look at his agent, his appearance never changed every time he looked at him. He was still unconscious and in a coma, he was still attached to a pacemaker and a ventilator and he was still showing no signs that he even knew Gibbs and Abby were with him.

Abby sighed, blinking rapidly to try and stop the tears she could feel forming from escaping. She thought she could hide it, that Gibbs didn’t need to deal with her emotions right now, but as always the bossman was one ahead of her and before she could realise what he’d done, he was on his feet and enveloping her in a tight hug. “He’ll wake up, Abs. I can feel it in my gut and although the road to recovery is going to be long and hard, we’ll be there for him, ever step of the way. You know why?” he said, as he hugged the young forensic scientist.

“Because we’re family and family doesn’t leave no matter what,” Abby said.

“You hear that, Dinozzo, you’re stuck with us, so you rest for now and fight what you need to, but you come back to us, because we’re here to help you through it,” Gibbs told the still form that was Tony.

Chapter Five

Abby returned to Tony’s room with a Caf-Pow for herself and what could only be described as coffee - for Gibbs - though she wasn’t sure it was up to the standard of the usual stuff that Gibbs drank.

She’d been there for a good three hours, taking turns with Gibbs to hold Tony’s hand and talk to him. Gibbs had told her that the doctors didn’t hold out much hope that Tony could hear them, but she’d said that studies had been done on people in comas and that those with families around them recovered quicker than those that had no one. She had been surprised when Gibbs raised his eyebrow and took in the information before taking his turn with Tony and sending her out to get drinks.

His instructions had been very specific - something other than the crap Bethesda called coffee and something for herself and she’d stuck gold, having managed to find a place that did both decent coffee and Caf-Pow.

She handed the coffee to Gibbs who took a gulp and grimaced. “I’m not sure what’s worse, this or the stuff that the hospital say passes as coffee,” he said, swallowing, “but it’ll do.”

“How’s Tony doing?” she asked. She’d been gone for only thirty minutes getting the drinks, but still she had worried the whole way to the shop and back that something would happen to Tony while she was gone.

“Pretty much the same, he had a small seizure but his doctor, Dr. Foster, said that it’s normal with overdoses of Tony’s size, he also increased the anti-seizure medication since they is a change that Tony will suffer permanent brain damage if they continue.”

Abby sighed again. “He’s got a thick skull. After all she’s been taking head slaps from you since he arrived on a pretty much daily basis.” She was trying to lighten the mood and until Gibbs gave her and then Tony a small smile she hadn’t been sure she was successful.

“You got that right, Abs. How’s the DNA search going?” he asked, pointing to her laptop which she had left running when she’d gone to get the refreshments.

Abby grabbed the laptop from where it was placed, sat on the chair she had been using, took a big gulp of Caf-Pow and checked the DNA search. It had come up with no matches when they tried it within the local area so Gibbs had asked her to check all the states and that was what was running now. It’d been running for about two hours so it should pull up a result soon. ’It’d better because if it doesn’t I think it will actually break Gibbs to know we have nothing on the guy who attacked Tony,’ she thought to herself.

She knew how Gibbs worked, how he felt the need to protect his people and how when people went after them, he had to catch whoever had been responsible. She’d seen him do the same with Ari after he held Kate, Ducky and Gerald hostage and again when he’d killed Kate. At least then they’d known who he was, but even though she spent a lot of her work time in the lab she could still remember the computer program Gibbs had running in the background with Ari’s smiling face looking up to the camera as they struggled to identify the intruder that had been in the morgue.

She couldn’t even begin to imagine what Gibbs would do if it came up with no matches. She’d always known that she was Gibbs’ favourite and it didn’t bother her or the rest of the team really, but, despite having a strange way of showing it, he also had a soft spot for Tony too and just watching him, watch Tony, Abby could tell that it was really hurting him to see his friend, his co-work, and his senior field agent like this.

She had yet to explain to Gibbs that the only evidence they’d found on Tony had been some sperm - nothing under the fingernails to suggest he fought back, which meant one of two things, either he hadn’t fought back or he’d showered following the attack. She knew that Gibbs would react badly to that news because as an NCIS Special Agent, Tony would have known to preserve the evidence, another sign that he hadn’t been in his right mind that night.

“No matches yet,” she told Gibbs, turning the screen so that he could see that the program was still running through the possible suspects.

“It’s been two hours, Abs, when are we going to get a match?” he asked, giving her a tradmarked ‘Gibbs’ look.

“I can’t tell you, Gibbs. It’ll match when it matches. The only thing we can do is wait.”

“And there was nothing significant in his apartment?”

“Not that McGee or Ziva found.”

“Then he wasn’t attacked at home, he must have gone out for a run or something and been attacked then. This means, we officially have no crime scene.” He turned to look at Tony. “Come on, Dinozzo, we need you to wake up so we can check the crime scene before the evidence is compromised.”

There was nothing from Tony, no inclination he’d heard his boss’ demands or was even listening, but Gibbs held true to the fact that if it was him lying there he’d have wanted people to talk to him. He didn’t know where Tony’s mind was, whether he was dreaming or not, but if he was trapped in his mind, with only silence for company he didn’t think that he’d want to wake up, so the talking helped him help Tony because God knows there was little else he could do.

“We could get McGee or Ziva to follow the route Tony normally takes when he runs and see if they can find the original crime scene?” Abby offered.

“Now that, that sounds like a plan,” Gibbs replied. “Can you stay with him while I call in? Might as well give them all an update on Tony’s condition. If anything happens, you call for me, I’ll be at the nurse’s station just outside the door, okay?”

“Anything at all, will do Gibbs.” Abby took his place at Tony’s side as the boss headed out of the room and towards the nurse’s station so he could call in.

“You have to wake up Tony, it’ll kill him, I swear it. He needs you to be okay and I promise you, we’ll find the guy that did this to you and make him pay using whatever means necessary,” Abby half-whispered as Gibbs left her alone, she wanted Tony to hear, but not Gibbs. She didn’t think he’d appreciate her knowing just how much he felt for his senior agent, but she knew, whether Tony did was a mystery. Maybe if he had known, he would have picked up the phone rather than the Vicodin bottle.

The nurses smiled at Gibbs as he approached the desk, it had been the first time since Dinozzo had arrived that the man had left his side - he must be a pretty good boss to be worried about his people the way Gibbs was.

“Dr. Foster said it would be okay for me to use the phone to call my team and keep them in the loop as to Tony’s condition,” he said.

“Go ahead,” the nurse, who’d done Tony’s rape exam, said.

Gibbs dialed the number for his phone in the office, and hoped that either Ziva or McGee had the good sense to answer in with the situation being what it was. He decided that after talking to them about retracing Tony’s footsteps on the night of his attack he would call the Director and inform her about what had happened to Tony and that he wouldn’t be back in work until Tony had at least started to show signs of making a recovery.

After four rings, it clicked onto his voice mail, so he hung up and dialed McGee’s direct line. That got him the response he wanted.

“Agent McGee speaking.”

“McGee, it’s me. Listen, Abby said there was barely any evidence at Tony’s apartment or in his rape kit so I need you and Ziva to retrace Tony’s steps. He might have gone for a run and been attacked then. I do not have to stress how important it is that we find the initial crime scene before any evidence that may help us is lost, do I?” he said, making his voice sound stern, even though he knew the rest of the team would also be reeling in shock about what had been done to their colleague and friend.

“Will do, boss. Um…”

“Yes, McGee?”

“How is he?” McGee asked, feeling nervous.

“He’s critical still, had a couple of seizures and the docs are trying to stop him getting brain damage or anything else like that. Call Abby if you find anything, I’ll send her back to the lab shortly. I can’t use my cell in here with all the equipment.”

“Yes, boss.” Gibbs hung up and dialed the number for the Director’s office, confident that if anything went on with Tony while he was gone Abby would call him.

“Director Shepherd’s office,” Cynthia said, when she answered the phone.

“I need to speak to her.”

“Who’s speaking, please?”

“It’s Gibbs and it’s an emergency.”

“Agent Gibbs, I’m afraid she’s in a meeting right now. Can I take a message and have her call you back.”

“Look, this is a life or death emergency, I need to speak to her now so interrupt whatever ass kissing is going on and get her on the phone.”

“I can’t do that, Agent Gibbs…”

“Dammit, Cynthia, just get her on the phone.”

Cynthia sighed, put Gibbs on hold and knocked on the Director’s door. “I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but Agent Gibbs is on the phone insistent that he speaks with you, something to do with a life or death emergency,” she explained to the Director.

Director Shepherd turned to the men facing her and gave a small smile. “If you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I’ll only be a minute.” She got up from behind her desk and followed Cynthia out the door.

She picked up the phone and waited for Cynthia to release the hold button. “Jethro, what’s so important that it can’t wait until I’ve spoken to our friends in the FBI?”

“It’s Tony, he was attacked and raped last night, I found him unconscious this morning, after him taking an overdose of the Vicodin his doc prescribed for his shoulder injury. He’s in a coma at Bethesda, next few days are critical and I thought that you would want to know why he won’t be in work for a while. Nor will I be for that matter.”

“Why won’t you be in?”

“I’m staying with him until he wakes up,” Gibbs said, matter of factly. His tone suggested that he dare the Director to fight him on it.

“I can arrange for you to take some personal time, that’s not a problem. Lord knows you have enough of it stacked up. Did you do a rape exam?”

“A nurse did, it’s been processed by Abby as well as some bloody sheets we found at Tony’s apartment. I’ve just sent Ziva and McGee to retrace Dinozzo’s footsteps the night of the attack to see if we can find the original crime scene.”

“Keep me informed of his condition,” she said, simply, before hanging up the phone, taking a deep breath and heading back into her meeting.

Gibbs hung up and headed back to Tony’s room where Abby was telling him about some case she had worked on before Tony’s time. Gibbs looked at Tony, listening to the words that Abby was saying, but not really taking them in. Tony was his main concern right now; he looked pale and was still limp ��" in fact Gibbs was sure the only thing keeping him horizontal was the bed placed beneath him, his skin still too cool and too clammy to touch, but the doctor said that would start to ease once the Vicodin started to make its way out of Tony’s system.

’Why’d you do this to yourself, Tony? Do you not see the self-created family around you? People who would do anything for you. We’re all here, Tony and we’re not going, no matter what.’

Chapter Six

After thirty minutes of listening to Abby tell her story to Tony, Gibbs decided that it was high time she headed back to the lab so that the others could contact her with any news and so that she was there should any more evidence need processing.

Abby protested when Gibbs told her to head back to NCIS HQ, but she knew that Gibbs needed to be there for Tony - alone, if necessary to protect him, to be there for him and to help him when he recovered. No negative thoughts for this forensic scientist.

“You’ll call me if anything changes? I mean, if he blinks or shows signs of coming back to us or anything, you’ll call?” Abby demanded, giving Gibbs a trademarked look of her own.

“I promise I will, Abby. Now, scoot.”

Abby reached over and hugged Gibbs. It was an awkward position with her standing and Gibbs sitting in the chair by Tony’s bed, but she managed to pull it off. “He’ll be okay, Gibbs. I can feel it,” she told him, softly. Gibbs reached up to put his hand on top of Abby’s and gave it a little squeeze, though saying nothing, Abby knew what he meant.

With a backward glance to Tony and a smile and a wave to Gibbs, Abby left the Tony’s ICU room with nothing but hope and fear in her heart.

~*~

Ziva and McGee started out at Tony’s apartment and then separated to retrace two of the possible routes the Tony would have taken on his run. They planned to keep in contact via their cells and so far neither one of them had found anything that resembled a crime scene.

It was McGee who found the alleyway that Tony had been attacked in, he taped off the area, before calling Ziva on her cell and letting her know that he had found it. She was with him in minutes, having run the whole way there.

“How do you know this is where Tony was attacked?” Ziva asked, slightly breathless from her run.

“There’s some fabric that looks like it was ripped and it matches the design and colour of Tony’s sweatpants, plus it looks like there was a struggle here recently. The bins have been up turned and there’s trash everywhere,” McGee explained.

Ziva raised an eyebrow. “I though it was Gibbs who always went by his gut.”

“Come on, we have a scene to process,” McGee told her, he could be wrong, this might not be the place, but something - a feeling he couldn’t quite place - told him that it was.

They gathered as much evidence as they could, including samples of what they guessed was semen and blood, which they knew Abby could match to the previous samples to tell them if they’d been in the right place.

Once they were sure they had everything, they made their way back to Tony’s apartment where they’d left the car and headed back to NCIS HQ.

When they got there, they headed straight to Abby’s lab to give her the evidence for processing. “How did he look?” McGee asked when he saw Abby was back in the lab, her computers still running the DNA search.

“Pretty bad, but Gibbs is with him and I know that Tony won’t disobey a direct order and die on him,” Abby replied.

“We found the crime scene, according to McGee’s gut that is,” Ziva said, taking in the news about Tony.

“Without Gibbs, McGee’s gut is the best we have right now. I’ll process all this and give you the results in a few hours, so leave me to do my thing and…oh…”

“What is it, Abby?” Ziva asked, looking at the screen Abby was now staring up.

“The DNA search is done; whoever attacked Tony isn’t in the system anywhere, no match. All I can do now is tell you if the blood matches him or Tony and if the semen is his. Without a suspect I can’t do anything more, but if you bring me someone I can tell you if they match the sample we have.” ’Dammit, Tony, why did you have to shower?’

“You do realise that Gibbs will kill us all if we tell him we have no leads on Tony’s attacker,” McGee said, sounding nervous.

“We will have to wait until Tony wakes up,” Ziva said, sounding confident. “When he does, he can give us a description of his attacker and we can start looking for him that way.

None of them had the bad taste to say “If”.

~*~

It have been twelve hours since Gibbs had found Tony lying unconscious in his bed, having taken an overdose and the doctors said that it had been six hours before that when Tony took his overdose. Eighteen hours and still Tony showed no signs of recovering from the ordeal.

Gibbs drank his third cup of coffee - this one from the hospital’s supply - that hour, still holding Tony’s hand and still watching him for any changes in his facial expression that may indicate he was close to waking up and so far there had been nothing. What he wouldn’t give to see those green eyes looking back at him when he met Tony’s face.

“I think I’m going to have to add another rule, Dinozzo, as well as getting rid of one. Just for you though, no more hospital visits. You seem to be the most unluckiest guy I’ve met - concussions, gun shots, being held hostage, opening an envelope containing plague, of all things - the amount of things that have happened for you to end up in hospital. And the rule, I’m throwing out? That would be rule twelve…” Gibbs hesitated. Was this really the best time to be doing this? He threw his thoughts out the metaphorical window and lean down to kiss Tony’s forehead. “I love you, Dinozzo, and I’ll be here when you decide to wake up, I promise.”

Gibbs sighed, part of him knew that not even that would elicit a response from the unconscious Tony, but another part of him had hoped that it would. He got up from the chair that had been placed at Tony’s side and made his way to the make shift cot. He needed to sleep, if only for a few hours and although he was scared that if he let go of Tony’s hand they would lose him, his gut told him that being only a few feet away was good enough. Close enough so that if Tony did wake up he’d see him and far enough away that if something happened the doctors could work on him without Gibbs being in the way.

He was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow and was out for a good two hours before the alarms monitoring Tony’s condition started to sound and woke him from his slumber.

Dr. Foster and a nurse were first into the room. “What’s going on?” he asked them.

“Keep back, Gibbs and let us work,” the nurse said, kindness is her eyes. Gibbs stood back by the cot, allowing them unrestricted access to Tony. He knew the doctor would explain everything when Tony’s life was no longer in danger.

He watched as Tony’s heart beat slowed and then came to a stop, another nurse and doctor appeared out of nowhere and one of the nurses started doing CPR on Tony, while the other took him off the ventilator and started to manual bag him.

Orders were called out for drugs, which were then pushed into Tony’s IV, he watched in horror as it all seemed to come apart in front of him. Tony was no longer breathing, his heart had stopped and it looked like the drugs were winning in the internal battle Tony was fighting.

After five minutes, the long drone of Tony’s heart monitor turned into an infrequent beep. “We’ve got him back, set the pacemaker up, capture and bring it up to a good sixty beats,” the doctor told the nurse. She carried out his orders and soon Tony was in a similar state to what he had been before the crisis had started.

Gibbs looked at Dr. Foster, who had joined him in the corner of Tony’s room. “That was a close one,” he said.

“Too close for my liking,” Gibbs admitted. “What happened?”

“His heart stopped and the pacemaker was unable to keep it beating. We have him back now and the pacemaker seems to be doing his job, but there are a few things you need to understand.”

“Like what?”

“There’s a chance that he’ll need a permanent pacemaker to keep his heart rate at an acceptable level, we’ll be able to determine that at a later stage during Tony’s recovery. The other problem is that his kidneys are showing signs of failing. I’ve arranged for them to start dialysis within the next few hours. Normally, we would move the patient to the dialysis clinic, but Tony is nowhere near stable enough for that so we’ll arrange for them to bring the dialysis unit to him. We’ll insert a tube into his neck to start the dialysis through. We’d normally do this when the patient is sedated because of the pain, but with Tony we don’t need to worry about that. He’ll have a two hour session today to clear his body of the toxins his kidneys are unable to deal with and then a longer session tomorrow once we’re sure his body can tolerate the dialysis. The plus part of this is that it will remove the Vicodin from his blood, meaning we should be able to see any permanent damage it has done without allowing it to do anymore.”

“So, then he’ll wake up?” Gibbs asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

“To be totally honest with you, Gibbs, I don’t know. Part of the coma is caused by the Vicodin in his system, but the rest could be down to damage the Vicodin has done to his system. We won’t know for sure until he regains consciousness. This could happen tomorrow, the day after or it could be weeks or it could never happen. We just don’t know.”

“Thank you.” Dr. Foster left, leaving Gibbs alone with Tony once more - the nurses and other doctor having gone while Gibbs was talking. He couldn’t think about how badly Tony would have to pay for his mistake and he once again found himself wondering why Tony hadn’t called him for help. Was he really that unapproachable?

Chapter Seven

Gibbs was too wide awake following Tony’s health crisis to go back to sleep, so he buzzed the nurse and asked her for some more coffee and the phone so that he could phone Ducky and get an idea of what the dialysis would do. He had been listening to Dr. Foster, but at the same time keeping one eye on Tony to make sure nothing would happen to him while his back was turned and he needed to know the ins and outs as well as the reasoning behind the need for the dialysis.

The nurse smiled when she appeared with a cup of coffee - in a proper cup - and the phone. “The other nurses told me they’d been getting it from the cafeteria, but since it looks like you’ll be awake most of the night I brought you some from our staff room, much better than the crap they serve as coffee downstairs,” she said, handing Gibbs the cup, who seemed to inhale the first gulp.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you, most relatives who stay demand all sorts of things like this is the Four Seasons or something, plus they never move without an explanation. It’s like they don’t realise that we’re asking them to move to save their relatives’ life or something. I noticed how quickly you got out of the way when Mr. DiNozzo had his attack and it’s a blessing to have a relative as compliant as you.”

“He’s my senior field agent, we both work at NCIS.”

“Well, I wish my boss would be as concerned as you are about Mr. DiNozzo if I were to be in the same situation. They’d probably just complain about me taking up the bed space!”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

“Oh, believe me, Gibbs, it is. Anyway, I shall be back in a few minutes to check Mr. DiNozzo’s vitals.”

“Please call him Tony. If he could hear you call him ‘Mr. DiNozzo’ he’d think his father was present.”

“Okay, well you make your call and I’ll be back to check Tony’s vitals.” Gibbs watched her leave, taking another gulp of the coffee she had brought it. She was right, it was much better than the stuff they served in the cafeteria.

He dialed Ducky at the morgue, guessing that was the place he was most likely to be.

The phone rang twice before Jimmy Palmer’s voice sounded at the other end. “Morgue.”

“Palmer, it’s me, is Ducky around?” Gibbs asked, trying not to sound impatient, after all it wasn’t Palmer’s fault that Ducky hadn’t answered his own phone.

“Ah, Agent Gibbs, sir, he’s, erm, he’s with the Director,” Palmer stuttered.

“Why is he with the Director?”

“I don’t know, he, er, he just said he had to talk to her about something.”

“Do you have a case? Other than what happened to Tony?”

“Something happened to Tony?”

“Well, yeah, Palmer, something did. Didn’t Ducky tell you?”

“No, sir, he er, he was autopsying a body that came in late last night. A shooting at a marine base, I think one of the other teams is working it.”

“Right, well tell him that I need him at Bethesda when he’s done. Need him to explain some of Tony’s treatment to me.”

“Agent Gibbs, sir?”

“What, Palmer?”

“Is Tony going to be okay?”

“He will be if I have any say in it.” With that, Gibbs hung up the phone and took another gulp of coffee.

Gibbs finished the rest of his coffee and put the phone on the table, just as the nurse reappeared to take Tony’s vitals. “How’s he doing?” Gibbs asked, hoping for something positive for a change.

“He’s stable, which is good considering he just had a medical crisis,” the nurse told Gibbs, smiling. How could she smile when Tony was in such bad shape?

When she left, Gibbs took his place by Tony and reached for the hand that he’d been holding since all of this had started. For once, he was at a loss as to what to say to his senior field agent. There were no words to describe how he felt at that moment in time, emotions flooded him, but none of them were any use to Tony, so he kept them bottled inside. He couldn’t tell Tony that he loved him, that he pretty much always had because there was a chance that Tony wouldn’t hear him and he didn’t want to have to say it twice.

Gibbs didn’t know how long he sat in silence, just listening to the beeps of the machines keeping Tony alive, but when he next looked up at the door there were a team of medical personnel arriving, along with what must be a dialysis unit.

“Would you mind stepping outside while he connect Mr. DiNozzo to the dialysis?” one of them asked him. They obviously hadn’t spoken to the rest of the team treating Tony because if they had they would have known that Gibbs had no intention of leaving his side, that and the fact that they called him ‘Mr. DiNozzo’.

“I’m not leaving, I will step over here so you can work, but I’m not leaving him,” Gibbs informed them, giving one of his trademarked glares at anyone who dared make him do otherwise.

“Okay, you can stay where you are while we insert the catheter into Mr. DiNozzo’s jugular vein, but you’ll need to step back when we connect the dialysis.”

“That’s fine and please, call him Tony.”

The nurse smiled and set about preparing the equipment needed to get Tony on dialysis. Gibbs held Tony’s hand as they swab his neck, and inserted the catheter, it looked painful and he wasn’t sure if Tony could feel it so he wanted him to know that someone was there with him.

Once that was done, Gibbs stepped back and watched them work, connecting the tubing to the machine and setting it all up so that it would get rid of the toxins in Tony’s body that his poor kidneys could not. He silently said a prayer to a God he had long since forgotten that Tony would only need the disalysis whilst in hospital and that there would be no permanent damage done to them. If they were damaged then there was no chance of Tony returning to work as a full time Special Agent.

“I’ll be back in two hours to disconnect Mr ... I mean, Tony from the dialysis. The nurses will monitor his vitals, but if you’re worried about anything, please don’t hesitate in pressing the call button.”

“Thank you,” Gibbs called out to the nurse as she left, closing the door behind her. Once again, it was just Gibbs, Tony and the machines in the room.

Gibbs thought about catching a few hours sleep while the dialysis machine did its work, it was unlikely that Tony would need anything and although in the past he could have survived on little or no sleep, he was getting older and found that without at least four hours he was able to concentrate for long.

He lay out on the cot with his eyes closed, hoping that sleep would claim him because in his dreams, Tony had called and they’d tracked the attacker down and dealt with him, which was so far from what had happened in reality.

The beeping of Tony’s heart monitor calmed him, because it told him that Tony was still with him, that he hadn’t let him down by not being there, that Tony was still fighting and that hopefully the Tony they knew and loved would still come back to them.

~*~

When Ducky arrived at Bethesda, he took the elevator to the third floor and made his way to Tony’s room. He could see through the big window that allowed the nurses to keep an eye on what was going on that Gibbs wasn’t at Tony’s side - something that seemed unusual.

“Excuse me, but could you tell me where Special Agent Gibbs went?” he asked one of the nurses at the desk.

“He’s in with Tony DiNozzo,” the nurse replied, giving him a soft smile.

“I can’t see him.”

The nurse looked over to Tony’s room and through the window. “He might be lying down, we put a cot in there for him since he was so adamant about staying with Tony.”

“Ah, well I hope he is getting some rest, the last thing we need is Jethro dead on his feet.” With that, Ducky headed to the room and opened the door silently, his eyes cast over the room and he saw Gibbs sleeping soundly in the corner on the cot the nurse had mentioned. He wasn’t sure if he should wake him because after all the man had been awake since Tony’s arrival and it was near enough the middle of the night.

He thought it over and decided that with his mother being cared for by a nurse, he could let Jethro sleep and watch over Tony for the time being, he didn’t need to be anywhere else.

Tony had since been disconnected from the dialysis machine, but the catheter in his jugular vein still remained and so Ducky was able to fathom that he’d had some sort of procedure done in his absence.

He looked at his watch - it had been twenty-four hours since Tony had taken the overdose. The doctors had guessed that he’d taken it around midnight the previous evening. Eighteen since he’d been brought to the hospital, hopefully, having survived this far, Tony would start to show signs of recovery soon.

Ducky took hold of Tony’s hand and started to regale him with stories of past visitors to his table while Gibbs slept peacefully in the corner.

Chapter Eight

“…so you see, it is possible to drown in less than three feet of water,” Ducky said.

“You’ve told him that one before, Duck,” Gibbs said, sitting up and stretching. He’d woken to the sound of Ducky’s voice and at first had been unable to remember where he was, but then the smell of antiseptic and the noise from Tony’s heart monitor and ventilator reminded him that he was in the ICU, watching over Tony as he fought for his life.

“Yes, but I was beginning to run out of things to say to him. Sleep well, Jethro?”

“I did.” Gibbs looked at his watch; he’d gotten four hours sleep. More than enough - especially after the two hours he’d gotten earlier - to see him through the day, or night as it now was.

“Mr. Palmer told me that my presence was requested, something to do with procedures you needed explaining?”

Gibbs swung his legs over the side of the cot and stood up. “I need more coffee, could you ask the nice nurse to bring me some of their supply?” Gibbs asked Ducky, pointing out the nurse he was talking about.

“Will do.” Ducky disappeared out of the room to get the coffee, while Gibbs stood up and stretched and then took his place at DiNozzo’s side. They must have disconnected the dialysis while he’d been sleeping, he must have been tired because normally he was a light sleeper and he was sure he would have heard them move the big machine out of the room.

Thankfully, nothing seemed to have changed in DiNozzo’s condition since he’d last been awake and Ducky would have woken him if he’d had a seizure of the doctor had come in ��" he was sure of that, at least.

Ducky returned a few minutes later, carrying two cups of coffee. “The nurse said that since I asked so nicely, I could have a cup for myself, but as you know I only drink tea so I thought you could drink the second cup for me,” he explained as he set the cups down on the table next to Gibbs.

“Why didn’t you just tell her you didn’t drink coffee?” Gibbs asked, raising his eyebrow at Ducky.

“I didn’t want to appear rude. My mother always taught me that you take what you are given and be thankful for it.”

Gibbs laughed as he imagined Mrs. Mallard lecturing Ducky as a child, his face turned somber when he saw the look Ducky was wearing. “What’s wrong?”

“Tony had a small seizure when you were asleep, they’re taking him for a CAT scan in the morning,” Ducky told him, his voice grave.

“Dammit, Duck, why didn’t you wake me?”

“It was over pretty much the moment it started and the nurses said you’ve not rested since we brought Tony here.”

“I got two hours sleep earlier on. You should have woken me, Ducky.”

“I’m sorry, Jethro, had it been more serious I would have, but like I said it was pretty much over with the moment it started. They gave him some drugs to stop it and they worked, but Dr. Foster is worried about brain damage because of the crisis earlier - which you failed to mention to Mr. Palmer.”

“You think I’d tell Palmer anything? I told him to tell you to get here and that I would explain once you were here, not over the phone to some lab assistant who would probably forget the important things.”

“Mr. Palmer is very competent.”

“Ducky, I don’t care. Now, why don’t I tell you all that’s happened since we last spoke and you can tell me what the doc said about this latest development.”

Ducky nodded and listened as Gibbs explained what had happened when Tony’s heart had stopped and how he’d needed dialysis. Once he was through, Gibbs listened to Ducky explain what the doctor had said about the seizure.

“He’s worried that there may have been a lack of oxygen to the brain during the episode when Tony’s heart stopped and wants to give him a CAT scan to check for any underlying damage,” Ducky said.

“Okay. Can you tell me why he’d need dialysis? The doctor did, but I wasn’t really listening all that well considering they’d just brought Tony back from the brink of death.”

Ducky sighed. “An overdose of Vicodin can cause long-term kidney damage, the blood work obviously showed that Tony wasn’t excreting the poisons in his system from the overdose as well as the normal toxins that build up in the body. Dialysis will do the job of the kidneys and remove the poison and the toxins from his system, hopefully giving the kidneys time to recover and return to their normal function, but there is a chance that the overdose Tony took has caused too much damage to his kidneys.”

“What happens then?”

“Well, you can’t live without your kidneys, Jethro. Depending on the extent of the damage it could mean he needs a transplant, in which case they’ll put him on the list and continue the dialysis three times a week until a donor kidney is found.”

“No.”

“No, what, Jethro?”

“No, that isn’t going to happen to Tony. He’s going to come through this with as little scaring as possible.”

“You have to accept that it may be a possibility. We have no idea what the Vicodin did to his internal organs before it left his system, until he wakes up and we can get some idea of the state his body is in, we just don’t know.”

“I won’t let that happen, Duck.”

“You may not have a choice, Jethro.”

“Why didn’t he call me, Ducky? Didn’t he realise I would have helped him? I would have collected the evidence myself, I would have stayed with him, I would have kept him safe, did he really think that suicide was the only way to deal with this?”

Ducky sighed again, looking at his friend. “I wish I had the answers for you, Jethro, but only young Anthony can tell us why he reacted the way he did. When I was talking to him while you were asleep, I noticed the scratches on his skin, in places the skin is raw, Abby told me there was little evidence from the rape kit, he must have showered for a long time when he got home. That alone tells you that he wasn’t thinking clearly.”

“This is my fault, if only I’d shown myself to be more approachable.”

“You can’t blame yourself, Jethro. Tony knows he could have come to you with anything and you would have dealt with it, I guess we can only imagine the emotional trauma he went through after his attack and I can’t tell you why he didn’t pick up the phone and talk to you or ask you for help and Tony has never seemed to be depressed so Lord, only knows where the idea for suicide came from. I can only speculate from my knowledge of psychological profiling that with Tony’s persona as a ‘ladies man’ being raped was humiliating and he maybe felt that the world would be able to see the rape on him when he was in public, that he was scared to tell someone because that made it more real and that he felt that people would say he deserved it the way he walked around flirting with everything with a pulse.”

“But he’d not like that and if anyone other than you had said that, Duck, I would have flattened them.”

“I know, and believe me, I’m not saying Tony is like that, only that he believes he is. Due to the way he was treated as a child and being cut off from his parents at such a young age has made him believe the only person he can count on is himself.”

“But he knows I’ve got his six.”

“On crime scenes yes, but on personal matters? Maybe not.”

Gibbs sighed and squeezed Tony’s hand tighter, he couldn’t believe that he was about to admit how he felt to Ducky, but he had to tell someone. “I think I love him, Duck. I’m ready to break rule twelve and risk getting hurt the way I did with my marriages, but it feels like it did when I met Shannon and I don’t know what I would do if he died, if he died before I had the chance to tell him.”

Ducky gave a small smile. “I know, Jethro. I’ve known for a while. You may not show him much affection at work, but it’s there in the way you look at him and I think also in the way he looks at you.”

“I think Abby knows too.”

“Well, that girl certainly sees a lot more between people than we give her credit for.”

“You hear that, Tony. I love you and I need you to come back to me, I don’t care if you’ve permanently damaged yourself, just come back to me and I’ll be with you every step of the way, I promise,” Gibbs said to Tony.

He waited for a response and got nothing and his heart broke a little more.

Chapter Nine

Ziva hit her computer as it beeped loudly at her. She swore under her breath in Hebrew, causing McGee to look up at her from what he was doing.

“What seems to be the problem?” he asked her, getting up and heading towards her desk. The bull pen was quiet without Tony there to make sexist comments and Gibbs yelling at them to get back to work.

Since they were without their fearless leader and Tony, the Director had put them to work on paperwork and if they had time some cold cases, but it seemed that neither one could get their minds to focus on the job at hand, both too worried about Tony and hoping that Abby would come up with something.

“It’s smashed,” she told him, giving the monitor the evil eye.

“I think you mean, ‘crashed’,” McGee corrected. “You just need to restart it.” He leaned over her desk and pressed some buttons that would reboot the machine.

Ziva sighed heavily and sat back in her chair, “have you heard anything from the hospital?” she asked McGee.

“You know if I had, I would have told you.”

“I do not like waiting; maybe we should go to the hospital and see how he is for ourselves.”

“I don’t think Gibbs would appreciate that, besides Ducky’s with him now and he’ll tell us about anything that’s happened when he gets back. It’s not like Gibbs is keeping us in the dark on purpose.”

“I just wish we had something on his attacker, and then we could be tracking him down instead of doing all this paperwork.”

“I’ll call down to Abby, see if she’s got anything for us.”

“She would have called.”

“I know, but it gives me something to do.”

“I shall go back to beating my computer.”

“It should work fine after the reboot.” McGee gave her a small smile and decided that rather than phone he would go and see Abby because he was sure she was feeling as useless as they were and could do with some moral support.

He took the elevator to Abby’s lab and found her curled up in the corner cuddling Bert the farting hippo. “What’s wrong, Abs?” he asked her, crouching down to meet her eyes.

“I ran everything again and there was nothing.”

“What do you mean? Nothing?”

“I mean, no DNA matches, there were no skin cells under Tony’s fingernails, only the semen. The blood at the scene was Tony’s, the semen at the scene was the perpetrators and he’s not in the system and all I can think is that I’ve let Tony down somehow because he’s unconscious and I can’t find any evidence that tells us who attacked him.”

“Have you heard from the hospital?”

“No, Ducky said he was needed there and that he’d come and update me as to Tony’s condition when he got back, but it’s been hours and I haven’t heard from him.”

“It’s late, why don’t you try and get some sleep? Ducky probably won’t come back until morning.”

“I’m not leaving until Tony wakes up.” McGee sighed, the only reason he hadn’t gone home yet was for the same reason. Ziva wouldn’t leave until she’d heard from Ducky and it looked like Abby was feeling the same.

“Why don’t I call Ducky and see where he is?” McGee offered.

“He won’t have his cell on if he’s still at the hospital and you know Ducky, he won’t pick up if he’s driving.”

“If it rings then it means he’s making his way back here.”

“Or he’s going home.”

“If he promised he’d update you then I doubt he’ll wait until morning to come in.” McGee pulled Abby into a hug, ignoring Bert when he farted and she gave a small smile.

“Call him from your desk, Ziva could probably do with some company about now.”

“Okay,” McGee said, and they both got up and left the lab, heading to the bull pen.

Ziva was working her way through her paperwork - it may have been 3am, but she wasn’t tired, she doubted that even if she had been that she could have slept. She was too wired and anxious waiting for news on Tony’s condition. She looked up when she heard the elevator ding, hoping that Ducky would appear from behind its doors. He didn’t, it was McGee and Abby.

“Anything?” she asked Abby, who shook her head, her eyes sad.

“I ran everything again, but I came up with nothing. McGee’s going to ring Ducky to see if he’s on his way back here or still at the hospital with Gibbs and Tony,” Abby replied. Ziva nodded and turned her attention to McGee who was dialing the number for Ducky’s cell.

“No answer, but it rang so he’s obviously on his way back,” McGee told them after a few minutes. Before either one of them could say something, the elevator pinged again and out stepped Ducky.

“Ducky, I just tried to call you,” McGee said, smiling at the old M.E.

“Yes, my dear boy, I know. I thought I would wait for the elevator to stop before answering it because of the lack of a signal, but here you all are, looking mightly tired I might add,” Ducky replied, making his way into the bull pen. “Now, if you’ll all give me a moment, I shall update you on young Anthony’s condition.”

Abby, still cuddling Bert, perched herself on the edge of McGee’s desk, whilst McGee sat behind it and Ziva got up and stood in front of the plasma screen. Ducky leant against Gibbs’ desk. All of them wanted to know how Tony was and they waited patiently for the M.E. to start talking.

“I’m afraid they’ve had to start Tony on dialysis, his kidneys were failing. They don’t know the extent of the damage and how permanent it may be, but they’re doing tests. The good thing is the dialysis will have removed any of the Vicodin left in his blood so he should hopefully regain consciousness soon. He had an episode earlier where his heart stopped, but they were able to get it started again and he’s still on the ventilator and pacemaker. Jethro is staying with him and is doing better now that he’s had some more coffee and some sleep - which I suggest you all go home and do now. There is nothing you can do for Tony that you haven’t done already and the last thing we need right now is any of you getting sick from not taking care of yourselves. Tony will need us at full strength to catch his attacker, when he’s able to give us a description and also to help him recover from this,” Ducky told them all, looking stern as he mentioned that they should sleep.

“I am not leaving, I will sleep, but I am not leaving the office,” Ziva said, stubbornly.

“I’m not going if she’s staying,” piped up Abby, who gave Bert a squeeze causing the stuffed animal to fart again.

“I’d rather stay here, I’ve slept in the office before and I’d rather not be alone tonight,” McGee told Ducky.

Ducky sighed and rolled his eyes. “You’re all as bad as each other. So long as you sleep I see no reason why you can’t stay here. I would join you, but mother has probably scared the night nurse by now and my presence will be needed at home and I’m not as young as I once was, I find my bed is the only place I can get a good nights kip.”

He stood up and looked at his three colleagues. “I’ve told Jethro to call me if anything changes, and I will pass on any news I hear in the morning. Now sleep, all of you and I will see you tomorrow, er, later today.” With that, he headed back to the elevator and left, leaving Ziva, McGee and Abby alone in the office.

“Do you want to sleep up here with us?” McGee asked Abby.

“If that’s okay, there’s nothing running in the lab so it’s not like I’ll be needed down there until morning. I’ll sleep behind Gibbs’ desk, he won’t mind.”

Silence fell over the office as the three all found comfortable positions and each one drifted off to sleep. A prayer in each of their hearts that tomorrow brought better news for Tony.

~*~

Gibbs shifted in his seat, taking a gulp from yet another cup of coffee and watched Tony. The twitch, along with the rise and fall of his chest was comforting to watch - even if it was produced mechanically. Ducky had left for the office about 2:45am, leaving him alone with his thoughts and Tony.

When Shannon and Kelly had been killed, Gibbs had felt his heart break, felt that he could never love again and then Tony DiNozzo had walked into his life and although his heart had mended - not perfectly, it still had rough edges - he knew that if he risked all he had to be with Tony, he might end up regretting it, especially because as the more he got to know Tony, the more he realised he saw himself as God’s gift to women.

Maybe Ducky had been right about the way Tony viewed himself, maybe that had been the reason for his suicide attempt, maybe after the rape Tony saw himself as someone who could never be loved again and felt the only way to live without love was to give up completely. How Gibbs wished he’d said something before. Maybe he could have changed the way DiNozzo thought of himself. Still, there was time for that, or at least he hoped there was.

He sighed and took another gulp of coffee - it was going cold, but he knew that all he needed to do was buzz the nurse and she would get him a refill. He’d built up a relationship with the one who’d done Tony’s rape exam, she was happy to supply him with coffee because, as she said, he didn’t expect her to, he knew that there were other patients in the ICU, some just as sick as Tony, some closer to death than him and he knew that if he buzzed once they would come when they were free, if he buzzed more than that, they knew there was something wrong with Tony that their monitors weren’t picking up. It may not have been the ideal way to spend a night, but for now, it would do.

Gibbs got the shock of his life when he saw Tony buck up against the ventilator; the machine sounded an alarm - obviously not happy about whatever Tony was doing. He pressed the alarm twice and within seconds a nurse had joined him in Tony’s room.

“What’s he doing?” Gibbs asked, trying to keep the panic from his voice.

The nurse said nothing as she pressed some buttons on the ventilator to silence the alarm. “I need to call his doctor,” she finally said, not realising that her silence had been scaring Gibbs to death.

“What the hell is going on?” Gibbs demanded. He knew that he shouldn’t raise his voice to her, but she seemed to be totally oblivious to the fact that he thought Tony was dying, was slipping away from him and that there was nothing he could do about it.

She snapped her head up and looked at him, seeing his expression; she relaxed and looked him dead in the eye. She had kind eyes, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to panic you, Tony is bucking against the ventilator, it means he’s trying to breathe on his own. It’s a good sign. Tony is waking up.”

Chapter Ten

Gibbs wasn’t sure what to make of the nurse’s comment and sank back into the chair by Tony’s bed as he waited for the doctor to arrive and do whatever he needed to do to make Tony more comfortable. He watched as Tony continued to fight the ventilator.

He knew that he should call Ducky and let him know what was going on, but it was 3:45am and the old M.E. was probably asleep by now and would be until his regular waking time of 5am - it could wait until then, from what the nurse said this was good news. Tony was in no danger and could soon rejoin the land of the living.

He stood up and started to pace, tearing his eyes off Tony’s naked chest, if he woke up before the forty-eight hours were up, did that mean he was no longer critical? Would they then be able to assess the damage done to Tony because of the overdose? Would Tony be able to describe to them the man who had put him in this state? He had so many questions going round his head, but for once he had little to work with in the way of answers.

Dr. Foster appeared in the doorway and broke Gibbs’ train of thought. “He’s bucking against the ventilator,” Gibbs told him, even though he knew the doctor had probably already been informed. Only one time before this had Gibbs felt this nervous and anxious and that had been the night Kelly was born. The birth had gone pretty smoothly until Kelly’s head was out, but her left shoulder was stuck, he remembered pacing up and down the delivery room then, waiting for a doctor who would tell him if his wife and child were going to be okay and now he was waiting for all the answers pertaining to Tony.

“Please try not to panic, this is a good thing. It means that Tony is coming out of the coma and that his body is ready to breathe for itself,” Dr. Foster told Gibbs, who had started pacing again.

He stopped when he realised that he’d be in the way and moved to the corner where the cot was situated and sat down on it, watching the scene unfold around him.

Dr. Foster had the nurse check Tony’s vitals, drew some blood from his arterial line in his wrist and disappeared. He was gone for only a few moments before he returned and started to change the settings on the ventilator. It took everything Gibbs had in him to not ask what he was doing. He knew the doctor would explain when he was done and right then, he wanted the focus to be on Tony.

After five more minutes, the doctor turned to Gibbs. “Okay, his blood gases show a remarkable improvement and with his conscious effort to fight the ventilator, it means his body and brain are recovering. I’ve left him on the ventilator for the time being because I’d hate to remove it too soon and him crash.”

Gibbs nodded, trying to focus on what the doctor was saying and not on Tony.

“I’ve changed the settings so that it will allow Tony to take some breaths on his own, if he doesn’t the machine will kick in and take a breath for him, I’d like to monitor him closely over the next few hours to see if anything changes and I’ll have the nurses do hourly blood gases in case he gets worse. I know it’s a lot to take in and I know it’s been a rough twenty-four hours, but things are looking up, Gibbs.”

Gibbs nodded again and thanked the doctor, who checked Tony over once more and then left. The nurse looked over at Gibbs. “Would you like another cup of coffee, or have you had enough excitement for one night?”

Gibbs smiled. “Another cup would be just fine, but only if you have the time. I know there are other patients here that need seeing to.”

“Right now, I’m one-on-one with Tony, just until the doctor lengthens the time between checks, so I’ll be keeping you company for the next few hours,” she explained. She left to get Gibbs some more coffee and he ran his hands through his hair and, almost collapsing, sank into the chair next to DiNozzo’s bed.

He concentrated listening to the sounds of Tony breathing, instead of the mechanical whir of the machine that he had gotten used to over the past twenty or so hours. The nurse came back, carrying a steaming hot cup of coffee for him - too hot for him to gulp like he usually did, so he left it cooling on the table next to him.

The nurse set about taking a set of vitals and writing them in Tony’s chart before disappearing again out of the room. Gibbs took the hand he’d been holding pretty much since they’d got there and gave it a little squeeze, his heart jumped when Tony squeezed back.

Gibbs stood up and looked at Tony’s face, tears coming to his eyes when he saw the green ones staring back at him. Tony looked panicked, so he spoke quickly, but gently. “It’s okay, Tony, I got you. You took an overdose, you’re in Bethesda in the ICU. I’m just going to get the nurse so she can call your doctor.”

Gibbs went to leave, but Tony held tight to his hand, the other pulling at the tube in his throat.

“DINOZZO! Leave that alone, I’ll stay right here and press the buzzer and the nurse will come. You just keep hold of my hand and I’ll stay right here,” Gibbs said, soothingly. He pressed the buzzer twice and the nurse reappeared. “He’s awake, anxious about the tube and squeezing my hand as if his life depended on it.”

“Okay, I’ll get the doctor,” the nurse said and once more she was gone.

“It’s okay, DiNozzo, just concentrate on squeezing my hand, the doctor will be here soon and he’ll probably take that tube outta your throat, but for now, leave it be and concentrate on me, okay?”

Tony nodded. He tried to concentrate on focusing on Gibbs’ face, but he felt the darkness pulling at him again and he closed his eyes for a moment to rest until the doctor arrived.

“DiNozzo, open your eyes, come on let me see those green eyes I love so much,” Gibbs said when he saw Tony had closed his eyes.

Tony fought to open them; every action was wiping his reserves of energy. He couldn’t remember why he was in the hospital, what had happened? Had a case gone wrong? He vaguely remembered that Gibbs had told him where he was and why he was there, but his memory failed him as he tried to pull up the conversation from the depths of his brain.

He knew it was something serious from the way Gibbs looked at him and the fact that it was obvious his boss had not left his side since he’d been admitted. He turned his head and saw the cot in the corner, which told him that Gibbs had been sleeping there with him. Why would Gibbs stay so close to him? What the hell had happened?

“Try not to think so much, DiNozzo, I can hear the cogs working in your brain. It’s going to be fine, the doc will remove that tube and then we can have a long talk about what happened,” Gibbs told him, watching the panic set into Tony’s eyes. “I’m not angry at you, I’m just glad you’re okay. I wish you’d called me, but that’s in the past now and I’m sure you had your reasons, so you just concentrate on keeping those eyes open and the doctor will be here soon and then we can talk, okay?”

Tony nodded, though it did little to calm him. Why would Gibbs be mad at him? Had he screwed up again? Questions he had plenty, answers? Not so much.

Dr. Foster arrived and watched the two men communicate, with Gibbs holding Tony’s hand and keeping his face within view of Tony’s eyes. He hated to break the bond between them, but he knew that he had to check Tony over now that he was awake and responding.

“Glad to see you’re back with us, Tony,” Dr. Foster said, causing Tony to jump and Gibbs to break his eye contact to look at the doctor.

“I think he’s having some trouble staying conscious,” Gibbs told the doctor, whilst rubbing his hand over Tony’s to calm him.

“That’s understandable, he may have just woken from a coma but his body is going to need a lot of time to heal and the best time to do that is when you’re asleep,” he told Gibbs, turning to Tony he said, “Tony, I need you to just stay awake for a few moments while I check your latest blood gas and see about removing that tube from your throat.”

The nurse passed over Tony’s chart to Dr. Foster, who read it with interest and then smiled at Tony and Gibbs. “The tube can come out, Carolyn, would you grab the equipment?” he asked the nurse. She nodded, leaving for a few minutes and returning with a syringe and oxygen mask. “I’d like to leave you on oxygen for a while, just to help your body heal. You’ve given us quite a few scares, Tony and I’d rather not repeat any of them.”

He stood over Tony with the syringe and unhooked the tube from the ventilator whilst Carolyn turned it off, he attached the syringe to a tube on the side of the ventilator tube and pulled back, drawing out some water. “Now, on three I need you to take a deep breath and blow out as hard as you can,” he told Tony. “One…two…three…blow!”

Dr. Foster pulled on the tube as Tony tried his hardest to blow out and it was finally removed from his trachea. He coughed several times and was offered water with a straw in it for him to sip, before Carolyn placed the oxygen mask over his face. “There, now I’ll have Carolyn keep an eye on your oxygen saturations and if they stay within the normal range we can put you on a nasal canula for the oxygen rather than a mask. Just relax, Tony and keep focusing on breathing. The rest will come in time,” Dr. Foster told Tony, before leaving them alone with Carolyn, who made herself busy with checking and noting down Tony’s vitals.

“Feeling better now, Tony?” Gibbs asked him, still holding tight to his hand.

Tony nodded, lifted his other hand and removed the mask. “I…”

“That needs to stay on, Tony,” Gibbs told him, putting it back in place before Tony could finish what he was saying. “Anything you need to say, you can say with the mask on.”

“I don’t remember what happened, why am I here?” Tony asked, through the mask, speaking as loud as he could so that Gibbs could hear him.

Gibbs sighed, if Tony couldn’t remember the overdose, then he couldn’t remember the attack, which meant any chance of them catching Tony’s attacker went out the window.

Chapter Eleven

Gibbs couldn’t look Tony in the eye for a while - part of it was because he felt suddenly angry with the man for not calling him after the attack and being so stupid as to take an overdose and part of it was because he didn’t want to tell Tony what had happened to him, blissful ignorance seemed kinder in a way.

He knew that eventually he would have to say something to Tony because if he didn’t, Dr. Foster would and he knew it was protocol for the hospital to call in a psychiatrist to talk to Tony because of his suicide attempt and he didn’t want Tony going into that conversation with no idea of why he was there.

He took a deep breath and forced himself to look at Tony, who was leaning back against the pillows taking deep breaths behind the oxygen mask. Before he could speak, Tony said, “I know I screwed up, boss and I’m sorry, but I don’t remember what happened. I just know that no matter what you say, you’re angry at me.”

Gibbs didn’t know what to say to that, he was angry, but he didn’t know how to express it and Tony sounded so hurt, so lost that all Gibbs wanted to do was crawl into the bed beside him and hold him, but he knew that would not make the situation any better and for now he had to concentrate on what was best for Tony.

“Just tell me what happened,” Tony pleaded.

Gibbs sighed again and realised that he had no choice but to inform Tony of the attack. “We’re not sure what happened, we don’t have all the facts and you didn’t leave us with much evidence. We know that you went for a run Sunday night, we know that someone attacked and assaulted you, we know you took a shower afterwards - washing away most of the evidence.” Gibbs looked at Tony, who winced when he mentioned the shower and the evidence not being preserved, he knew he’d screwed up. “You took an overdose of Vicodin, I came to pick you up Monday morning at 6am and found you unresponsive and unconscious, I called Ducky, who worked out you’d taken an overdose and we brought you here where they treated you.”

“Assaulted? How did you work that out?” Tony asked, lifting his hands to check for any cuts or bruises. “Did they mug me?” He seemed to have totally overlooked the fact that he was in the ICU because of something he’d done to himself.

“There was some bleeding during the night, when I lifted you to take you to the car to come here we spotted it and I joined the dots and worked out what happened.”

“What did they take?”

“Nothing.”

“So, what, they just beat me up?”

Gibbs didn’t want to say it out loud, but he could see that Tony wasn’t going to work it out for himself. So, he took a deep breath and told him, “you were raped, Tony.”

A look of panic set on Tony’s face and then an emotion that Gibbs could not place appeared and then Tony shut down completely. His eyes went cold as he remembered what had happened to him, how they had held him down, how he hadn’t taken his cell or his gun so he couldn’t call for help, how they had thrust into him, whispering dirty things into his ear about how tight he was and how they had slapped his face, cutting his lip, when they were done before they disappeared into the night.

He could see it all running through his mind like the reel of a movie playing and he wanted it to stop, he put his head in his hands and started to sob - not caring that it was his boss who was watching him, who had found him, who had learnt what had been done to him, who knew how damaged he was now. God, he wished he died, he couldn’t cope with it all.

“Tony? Tony, stop that, you’ll hurt yourself,” a voice said, he was sure it was Gibbs but he didn’t understand what he was saying. He wasn’t doing anything to hurt himself, but he was, his fingernails were scraping at the skin on his face, breaking it, making it raw, he wanted that man’s scent off it and the shower hadn’t done it because people - Gibbs - could still see it.

Gibbs could see that just talking to Tony wasn’t doing the trick, so he grabbed both of Tony’s hands - being careful of the IV in the left one ��" and pulled them away from his face. The damage was minimal, small scratches from Tony’s fingernails now covered his face, in places he’d managed to make the skin raw from scratching, but none of them were bleeding - they just looked painful and Gibbs guessed that they probably were.

“Let go of me! I have to get clean!” Tony shrieked, getting wound up. Gibbs could see that his heart rate was climbing despite the pacemaker and that his breathing had become erratic.

“I’ll let you go, but you have to stop trying to hurt yourself and stay calm, okay?”

“I need to get it off.”

“Get what off?”

“Him.” Tony was openly sobbing now and Gibbs did something very un-Gibbs like and sat on the edge of Tony’s bed, pulled him forward and hugged the crying man. He rocked him back and forth, stroking his hair and his back to soothe him. To begin with, Tony fought him, but eventually he stopped either because he felt comfortable or because he was out of energy to fight Gibbs anymore.

“It’s okay, Tony, he can’t hurt you anymore. I’m here, I’ll protect you, I promise,” Gibbs whispered into Tony’s ear. He was in front of the monitors and he could see from Tony’s vitals and feel from the tension in his body releasing that Tony was finally beginning to relax. “I’m going to let go of you now, will you promise me you won’t try and hurt yourself?”

“I…I promise,” Tony stuttered. He had stopped crying, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t on the verge of starting again. His eyes were red, his cheeks inflamed from where he’d scratched as well as from the tears he’d cried.

Gibbs let go of Tony and eased himself off the bed and back into the chair, keeping hold of Tony’s hand - not to restrain him, but to let him know through physical touch that he was still there and he had no intention of going anywhere.

“I should call the team; let them know you’re awake. You feel up to a few visitors?” Gibbs asked, he realised as soon as he’d said it that it was the wrong thing to say when he saw the panic start in Tony’s eyes. “What? What’s wrong, Tony?”

“The team knows I’m here?”

“I had to tell them something, Ducky was with me when we came to the hospital so he knew and I haven’t been into work since. They did a rape exam on you, Tony, Abby processed it and McGee and Ziva checked your apartment and retraced your steps to find the primary crime scene and collected some samples from there, which Abby processed. So far, we’ve come up with nothing.”

Tony started to hyperventilate. The thought of the whole team knowing that he had been stupid enough to go out and get raped, they knew, they knew and they’d processed evidence and gotten nothing, which meant the guy wasn’t in the system. From the look on Gibbs’ face, he wasn’t going to let this go - he’d worn the same look after Ari infiltrated the morgue and shot Gerald, the same look when Ari shot and killed Kate. He was going to want Tony to go over everything again, over it and over it until they caught the guy. For the first time since waking up, Tony knew why he’d taken an overdose, he hadn’t wanted to repeat the trauma over and over and having worked rape cases both as an NCIS Special Agent and on the Baltimore PD, he knew that when the physical evidence pulled up nothing, they questioned the only witness to the crime - the victim.

Gibbs could see that Tony was getting worked up again and worked quickly to calm him. “It’s okay, Tony, I’m here, I’ve got you. I won’t let any harm come to you,” he said over and over until he felt Tony start to relax again. “What brought that on?” he asked, trying to work out Tony’s triggers so that he didn’t hit them unnecessarily.

“The team…knowing…the team knowing that I…that I was…that I…”

“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, but if you do say it I think it will help you heal,” Gibbs interrupted.

“The team know that I was…I was raped,” Tony said finally, dropping his gaze so that he didn’t have to look at Gibbs.

“Look at me, Tony. DiNozzo, look at me.”

Tony looked up.

“We’re a family, we watch out for each other and none of them think anything less of you because you were attacked - outside your home and without a weapon or anyway to defend yourself. This wasn’t your fault and I swear to you now, we will catch this guy and make him pay for what he did to you. I swear that on my life.” Gibbs gave Tony a small smile and squeezed his hand. Tony couldn’t smile, he didn’t think he was capable of it at the moment, but if what Gibbs said was true, then his ‘family’ would see to it that he would again smile.

Chapter Twelve

Abby was the first person to wake up, her body clock always got her up for 5am no matter what time she’d gone to bed and she knew that they all hadn’t settled down till at least gone 3am, but still, give her a Caf-Pow (or several) and she could make it through the day. She looked across at McGee, who was asleep sat up in his chair with his jacket over him and then at Ziva, who fallen asleep at her desk with her head in her hands.

To begin with, Abby couldn’t work out what had woken her, but then she narrowed down the sound to Gibbs’ desk. It was his phone; she picked it up and nervously spoke into the receiver. “Special Agent Gibbs’ phone, Miss Sciuto speaking.”

“Never knew you could sound so professional, Abs,” Gibbs said, laughing a little.

“Yeah, I can, I would have taken a message to and totally made sure you got it. What can I do for you, bossman?” Abby asked, relaxing when she realised it was Gibbs on the other end of the telephone.

“Tony’s awake,” Gibbs told her. He had to hold the phone away from his ear when she shrieked with delight.

“Can we come and see him?” Abby asked.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Abs. He didn’t remember what had happened until I told him and he’s pretty freaked out about the fact that you all know and have been processing evidence on his case.”

“He knows we did it because we’re family, right?”

“Yeah, I told him that, but he’s still pretty fragile. I had to promise him several times that I’d come straight back after making this phone call to even get him to let me leave. The doctors have said he’s still very sick, still on the pacemaker and he’ll need another few rounds of dialysis ��" it’ll be a while before they can ascertain the amount of damage done permanently. They’ve arranged for a head doctor to come and see him later today to get him to talk about why he overdosed, because he won’t tell me and to be honest I don’t think he knows. His memory is a little skewed from the tablets; his doctor explained that it can happen with an overdose of Tony’s size and that it should return.”

“That’s gotta suck. Having to relive what happened to him after forgetting it. Seems like it would be kinder to just let him live in ignorance.”

“It would, but if we’re going to catch that son of a bitch we need Tony to give us a decent description of him. In a few days, when he’s feeling up to it, I’ll get McGee and Ziva down here to take a description and do a sketch and maybe then we’ll have somewhere to start looking.”

“Can I come and see him, Gibbs? I promise to be gentle with him.”

Gibbs was silent for a moment as he contemplated Abby’s request, maybe it would do Tony some good to see that the forensic scientist didn’t look at him any different and it would be good for him to see a familiar face.

“Okay, you can come and pass on that he’s awake to everyone else, I haven’t got the time to call Ducky and tell him, but make it clear to everyone - including Ducky - that unless I call and ask for them, they are not to visit unannounced, we need Tony to trust us to look after him and we can’t do that if people keep turning up when he’s not up to it,” Gibbs told her.

“I swear,” Abby replied, sounding as serious as she got. Gibbs said nothing else and hung up; Abby did the same when she heard the dial tone. Her shriek of happiness had woken McGee and Ziva who were both looking at her, rather groggily.

“Who was that?” McGee asked, yawning and stretching as he spoke.

“Gibbs.”

“Oh, what did he want?” Ziva said, stretching and looking at Abby.

“To tell me, well, us, that Tony woke up!” Abby announced, a smile on her face.

“That is good news, yes?” Ziva asked.

“Well, he’s not out of the woods yet, but he’s getting there. Gibbs said to tell you both that you’re not allowed to go see him yet, he’ll call you when he’s ready for you. I have to go and find Ducky and tell him and then get to Bethesda.”

“Hang on, why do you get to go to Bethesda?” McGee asked, looking confused.

“Coz I answered the phone and I asked first,” Abby told him, before getting up and heading to the elevator that would take her to the morgue, which is where she assumed Ducky was at this time of the morning.

~*~

When Abby arrived at Bethesda and made her way to the ICU and Tony’s room, she found him asleep with Gibbs watching him whilst holding his hand. Gibbs looked up and motioned for her to come into the room.

“Hey, Abs, you got here fast,” Gibbs said in a hushed tone.

“Yeah, couldn’t find the Duckman to tell him the good news, but I told Ziva and McGee to pass it on should they see him before I get back. Is he asleep?” Abby replied, mimicking Gibbs’ hushed tone.

“Yeah, the doc gave him a light sedative to calm him down,” Gibbs said. “Looks like he’ll sleep for a while and you’ll have had a wasted trip.”

“Nah, at least he’s breathing on his own now, even if his chest is still dancing from that pacemaker. When can that come off?”

“Not for a long while yet. They don’t know how much damage has been done permanently, and the road ahead for Tony is going to be hard and full of challenges.”

“But he has us to help him through, Gibbs. We won’t give up on him.”

“If only he’d realised that before he’d been so stupid.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if only he’d thought about it for a micro second, he shouldn’t have showered, he should have called me and I would have brought him to the ER for the rape exam and then we would have had more to work with than just some sperm, we would have had an idea of what the attacker looked like, we would have found the primary crime scene before it was compromised and I know that it wasn’t, but we don’t know that for sure, do we? Instead he took the coward’s way out and swallowed a bunch of pills, I should head slap him into next week for this, he’s risked his career, his health and everything dammit, just because he was too damn stupid to call and ask for help,” Gibbs ranted, finally letting out the anger he’d been feeling since Tony woke up.

“Gibbs…”

“NO, don’t try to defend him, it was stupid, plain and simple and I taught him better than that!”

“I just think you should think about it from his point of view.”

“HIS point of view? Abby, I’ve sat by his side since the second they brought him up here, I found him, I carried him to the car and drove like a bat outta hell to get him here, I’ve watched them put a pacemaker on his heart, shock him back into existence and attach dialysis so that his kidneys don’t pack up on him and they’re telling me that he still might not make it out of this in one piece. I love the guy for crying out loud, I’ve never loved anyone like this, not even Shannon and I loved her so much it hurt sometimes and I’ve kept vigil at his bed side because I was so scared that if I left, he’d die not knowing that there are people out there who care for him so much that they think of him as family and I’m supposed to just forget that he broke every rule I taught him, that he washed away vital evidence and then downed a bottle of Vicodin chasing the tablets down with a bottle of bourbon. He may have permanent liver, kidney, brain damage all because he was too damn proud to call one of us and say, ‘hey, I need a little help’. That doesn’t float in my book.” Gibbs felt his blood pressure rise as he spoke, he hadn’t realised just how angry he was with Tony until he’d started to talk about it with Abby. Having said all of that didn’t mean he cared for the man any less, just that he wanted some answers, but most of all he didn’t want to put Tony through hell describing the man who had attacked him to fail him when it came to actually catching the bastard.

Gibbs wanted that man just as much as he’d wanted Ari when he’d taken Kate from them, not just because he had attacked and raped the man Gibbs loved, but because he’d almost taken Tony from them too. He may have Tony back with him, but there was a chance that it was not the Tony he’d grown to know and love, that it was a different Tony, one that was damaged beyond repair. He knew that if Tony was too sick following this to return to active field work then he wouldn’t stay, he’d move on and Gibbs would lose him and he couldn’t cope with that, so he prayed to the same God that had taken Shannon and Kelly from him to not take Tony too, to allow him to heal, to give him the chance to work again and ultimately, to give Gibbs a chance to show him what real love was all about.

Abby gasped, which caused Gibbs to turn from where he’d stood ranting at her and look at Tony. The green eyes were open and filled with tears, he’d heard everything that Gibbs had had to say and the look on his face broke Gibbs’ heart a little more.

The oxygen mask was still over his face, as the doctor had yet to give the order to switch to a nasal canula, but Tony pulled it off and spoke quickly before Gibbs could give him the order to put it back on.

“I knew you were angry at me. I knew it. I knew I screwed up, but I wasn’t thinking straight, I just wanted his scent off me, I felt so dirty, I still do and you say my ‘family’ is going to help me heal, well I don’t want you to, I should have died, you should have left me there to die, Gibbs.”

“Tony…”

“No, Abby, he’s right, I did break every rule he taught me, I did forget everything he said and I should have told someone, but I was so ashamed. I don’t deserve your love, Gibbs and I don’t want it, I’m a marked man now, I’ve been raped. RAPED! You honestly still love me after that?” Tony asked, waiting for an answer from Gibbs who looked shocked - mostly because he didn’t know Tony had been awake to listen to what he’d said.

“I do, Tony, I love you even more,” Gibbs said, half whispering. His tone suggested sincerity, but Tony couldn’t take that chance.

“I don’t believe you. Please leave me alone, Abby can stay with me if you think someone has to, but right now I don’t need lies, I need the truth because I already know that no man will ever look at me the same again and I don’t blame them so don’t give me your pity love. Go broad over the fact that I can’t tell you who attacked me and that one of your team got hurt and no amount of brute Gibbs force is going to make this any better.” With that, he put the oxygen mask back on and gasped in some breaths until he felt he had enough oxygen, which is when his breathing finally slowed to a more acceptable rate, his eyes closed and he slipped back into sleep as quickly as he’d come out of it, hoping that when he woke, it would be Abby he would see and not Gibbs because right then he couldn’t cope with his boss’ confession that he loved him, after all, who could love a screw up like him?

Chapter Thirteen

Gibbs didn’t know whether to leave or not, part of him knew that what Tony had said had been down to the way he was feeling since his rape, but the other part knew that Tony had heard things not meant for his ears and maybe it would be best for him to leave for a few hours and let Abby talk some sense into him.

He headed to the nurse’s station and spoke with the kind nurse that had been supplying him with coffee all night. She was due to go off duty soon. She looked up at Gibbs when she saw him approach and gave him a small smile.

“What can I do for you, Agent Gibbs?” she asked. “Is Tony okay?”

“Yeah, a friend is sitting in with him, thought I’d give them some privacy. Can I get a cup of coffee and use your phone quickly?” Gibbs asked, smiling at the nurse even though right then he didn’t really feel like smiling about anything.

“Of course, Agent Gibbs. Just press ‘9’ for an outside line and I’ll be back with your coffee in a second,” she said, disappearing in the direction of the staff room where they kept the semi-decent coffee.

Gibbs picked up the phone and dialed the number for the morgue, he didn’t know if Ducky was at NCIS yet, but it would be his first port of call and if he got no answer, there was always his cell.

“Morgue,” Ducky said, answering the phone. He sounded out of breath which gave Gibbs the impression that he’d either just arrived and had rushed to answer his phone or he’d been doing something at the other end of the room.

“Ducky, it’s me,” he said. He wasn’t sure why he’d called the M.E., but he felt that he had no one else to talk to since he was sure that only Abby and Ducky knew about his true feelings for Tony and he really didn’t want to have to tell anyone else.

“Ah, Jethro. I hear that young Anthony is awake and off the ventilator. That is good news. What can I do for you?” Ducky asked, sounding far too cheerful for a man who had only gotten, at most, a couple of hours sleep.

“I think I messed up, Duck,” Gibbs said. The nurse re-appeared and placed a hot cup of coffee on the desk in front of him and then went back to her duties to give Gibbs some privacy while he made his phone call.

“What’s wrong, Jethro? Has something happened to Anthony?”

“No, no, Duck, he’s fine. Abby is sitting with him.”

“Then what seems to be the problem?”

“I was talking with Abby, and I thought Tony was asleep and things got heated.”

“Heated in what way?”

“Since Tony woke up, I’ve been feeling angry at him because he did so many stupid things, like washing away the evidence and not calling someone and just taking an overdose. Anyway, I was talking about it with Abby and all of that anger just came pouring out.”

“I don’t see a problem with that, you’re bound to feel let down that Tony took an overdose rather than deal with the problem at hand.”

“I know, Duck, but Tony wasn’t asleep, he was awake and he heard everything. I told him I loved him despite all of that, despite the fact that he’s been raped and despite the fact that he broke every rule I ever taught him and just took what he thought was the easy way out. In the end he kicked me out, which is why Abby is with him now. Hopefully, she can talk some sense into him.”

“Ah, I see. Well, young Anthony has been through something very traumatic and we can only imagine what that feels like. Add that confusion to being told that the man you’ve admired from afar has feelings for you and of course, he’s going to feel out of his depth.”

“The question is, what do I do, Duck?”

“You let Abigail talk to him, she’ll make him see sense and you give him the space and time he needs to process this information. In time, he’ll ask for you and that’s when you need to put your feelings to one side and help Tony deal with his.”

“If only it was that easy,” Gibbs said. It made sense to give Tony the time and space he needed to process what he’d heard and the confession Gibbs had made, but he wasn’t usually a man to do that. Usually he went in head first and screw the consequences, maybe that was why he’d been divorced three times. He said his goodbyes to Ducky, with the promise to call him when Tony was up to more visitors and hung up.

He took his cup of coffee, grabbed a chair from the visitor’s lounge and sat outside Tony’s room, standing guard, but also giving the man the time and space he needed without abandoning him completely.

~*~

Abby was sat on the edge of Tony’s bed, hugging him as he cried. She realised that the tears were for several reasons, some because of what Gibbs had said in anger, some because he felt guilty at letting himself get raped and some because he’d loved his boss from afar and finding out that he loved him despite being so broken was just too much for Tony to cope with. She said nothing to him, just let him cry himself dry and held tight to him so that he knew that he wasn’t going through this alone.

“He can’t love me, Abs, I don’t even love me anymore, why would he play with my emotions like that?” Tony asked, still half sobbing.

“I’ve known Gibbs a lot longer than you and I promise you, he never lies, he loves you, Tony, and it broke his heart watching you when you were in the coma. He stayed here with you, surviving on as little sleep as possible and coffee brought to him by the nurses. He wouldn’t leave you, not even when they wanted to attach you to dialysis or do your rape exam, he stayed and made sure everything was done in a manner that respected you,” Abby told him.

“He was there for the rape exam?” Tony asked, the tears were slowing now, his eyes were red and the scratches he’d made to his face earlier were inflamed from the tears running down his face.

“He wouldn’t leave, he was worried that you were aware of what was going on around you and he didn’t want you to think he’d abandoned you during something so sensitive. Ducky told me that he stood next to you, focusing on you - not at what they were doing - and squeezed your hand when anything happened that looked like it might hurt you. He wanted you to know that you weren’t alone going through this. He’s stayed with you from the second he found you to the moment you asked him to leave,” Abby explained.

“I can remember knowing that someone was with me while I was out of it, but I wasn’t aware of what was happening to me.”

“That was Gibbs, he even slept in here. See that cot in the corner? Ducky said that he had to practically force Gibbs to sleep and then promise him that if anything happened to you or changed in your condition to wake him straight away. Now, I know Gibbs protects his people like they were family, but could you see him doing the same if this had happened to Ziva? Or McGee? I can’t.”

“I guess not,” Tony admitted.

“There’s no guessing about it, Tony. He cares for you more than he does the rest of the team, because he loves you. I mean, he loves me too, but not in the same way. He hates that we have no leads on the guy that did this to you and he blames himself.”

“I’m the one that was stupid enough to go out and get raped and then have a shower to wash away all the evidence.”

“Stop thinking like that, Tony. This wasn’t your fault and when you’re feeling up to it, McGee and Ziva are going to come and see you and take a statement, Ziva can draw the guy from what you remember of him and we can get a BOLO out and hopefully, somebody somewhere will know him and call it in. But, before we can do that, you need to make up with Gibbs. Yeah, he was angry at you, but not because you did anything wrong, because he couldn’t and didn’t protect you - just like he was angry when Ari infiltrated NCIS and shot Gerald and when Ari kidnapped Kate and when he shot Kate, he wasn’t angry with Ducky and Gerald for being held hostage and he wasn’t angry at Kate for getting kidnapped and he wasn’t angry at her for getting killed, he was angry at Ari for hurting his people and with himself for not being able to protect them and stop it from happening,” Abby said, getting worked up herself.

“I should have called him when I got home after I was attacked,” Tony admitted.

“Would have been a better idea than what you actually did, but as they say hindsight is 20/20.”

“Are you sure he’s not angry at me?” Tony asked, sounding like a small child.

“Oh, Tony,” Abby said, pulling Tony into a tight hug, being careful to avoid the various wires and tubes attached to Tony. “He’s angry that this happened, that you were pushed so close to the edge that you tried to take your own life, but he’s not angry with you, just at the situation.”

They stayed hugging for a short while before Tony pulled back and lay on his pillows, his chest still twitching with each tick of the pacemaker. He thought over what Abby had said and it all made sense to him. Gibbs’ behaviour over the past twenty-four hours proved that the man did care for him deeply ��" maybe even loved him - and she was right about the fact that he’d never known Gibbs to lie at least never knowingly. Maybe it was time to give the man a chance to prove how much he cared.

“Can you find him? I think we have some things to discuss,” Tony asked Abby, who nodded and got up from the bed. She didn’t have to look for long because Gibbs was sat outside Tony’s room, with an empty cup of coffee. It was obvious that he hadn’t been listening in, just been sitting there, waiting for the right to come back and sit with the man he loved.

Chapter Fourteen

Abby watched from the doorway as Gibbs made his way back into the room and to Tony’s side. She felt like she was intruding on a private moment, so saying nothing, she turned and left, leaving the two men to sort out their problems alone. She would call Gibbs later or get one of the nurses to pass a message on if Gibbs didn’t call her first. This was their time for now and she hoped that no one would disturb them.

“I’m so sorry, Tony,” Gibbs said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room since his entrance. “You weren’t meant to hear any of that, not yet, not until you were ready to hear it. I’m not angry at you for what happened to you, I’m just angry that I couldn’t protect you and that despite my best efforts I have nothing to track this bastard down and make him pay for what he did to you.”

“Did you mean it?” Tony asked.

“Mean what?”

“When you said you loved me more than you had ever loved anyone else - including Shannon.”

Gibbs sighed, knowing that despite the bad timing, now was the time to tell Tony the truth about the feelings he’d kept hidden since he’d first laid eyes on the man. “Tony, I’ve always been bisexual, but I’d never met anyone that I felt was worth perusing a relationship with. Yeah, I’ve been married four times, but the last three were me trying to get back what I lost when Shannon and Kelly died. I never wanted a relationship with a man, not until I met you and then everything changed. I love you, Tony DiNozzo, so much that sometimes it hurts to be near you. I want a relationship with you, when I found you in your apartment after you’d taken that overdose, I thought I’d lost you and I couldn’t work out why you’d do such a thing and then I saw the blood and the bruises and marks on your arms and face and I realised that you’d been raped and my whole world nearly fell apart. I couldn’t understand why you couldn’t have just called me and told me and I would have stayed with you for as long as you needed me to. I prayed to a God, I’m not even sure exists for you to survive. I just wanted you to get better and come back to work even if it meant never having a relationship with you.”

Tony listened to everything Gibbs had to say to him and tried to take it in ��" it was a lot to digest, but it was to nice to know how Gibbs felt especially considering he was a man who usually hid his feelings from everyone.

“I guess you’re wondering how I feel about you, aren’t you?” Tony asked. Gibbs gave him a small smile, raised an eyebrow and nodded. “I’ve always liked guys ��" known I was gay since high school. My parents didn’t approve, but then again they never approved of anything I did so why change the habit of a lifetime. I looked at you as the guy to measure everyone else by ��" never thought that even if you did swing that way you’d ever look at me twice. In a way I’m glad this happened because it means we’ve both been open and honest about how we feel about each other.”

Gibbs smiled his first proper smile since they’d found Tony unconscious in his apartment. Sure, his Senior Field Agent still had a long way to go in terms of recovery, but together they could make it work. He leaned down and kissed the top of Tony’s forehead. “We’ll get you through this Tony, and I will find your attacker and I will make him pay for hurting you,” Gibbs promised. Hell, right then he would have moved Heaven and Earth to heal Tony from the inner turmoil that he had to be feeling.

They sat together in silence, just enjoying the presence of the other, Gibbs on the edge of Tony’s bed, grasping his hand and rubbing his thumb in little circles on the back of Tony’s hand to let him know he was still there even though Tony couldn’t tear his eyes away from his boss. The road ahead of them was going to be filled with many trials and tribulations - Tony’s recovery being the hardest one, but together they could get through it.

~*~

Tony was sleeping and Gibbs was sitting in the chair by his bed, sipping a cup of coffee that one of the nurses had brought him from the cafeteria. It was vile, but it was caffeine and since the nice nurse worked nights it was the only choice available to him.

Gibbs looked up when he heard the door open and Dr. Foster enter the room. He was followed by a younger, male doctor who was obviously there for something to do with Tony’s continuing treatment. “This is Agent Gibbs, Tony’s boss; he’s been here with him since Tony was admitted yesterday morning. Agent Gibbs, this is Dr. Mathers, he’ll be Tony’s psychiatrist,” Dr. Foster said, introducing the younger doctor to Gibbs.

Gibbs gave Dr. Mathers a quick up and down look, assessing the man without ever saying anything. He looked too young to be a qualified doctor, but then again many people looked too young to Gibbs, including McGee who was old enough to be a Field Agent, but barely looked it.

It wasn’t until the new doctor spoke that Gibbs got the impression that neither he nor Tony was going to like the man. “I appreciate you feel the need to be close to your agent after such an horrific experience, but because of patient confidentiality laws, you’re going to have to leave while I talk to Tony about the reasons behind his overdose. Hospital protocol,” he said, talking down to Gibbs as if the man would have no understanding of how these things worked.

“He’s asleep at the moment, is there anyway you can come back later?” Gibbs asked, keeping his temper in check.

Dr. Foster nodded and turned to leave, but Dr. Mathers had something else to say. “I’m afraid not, the sooner we start Tony on therapy, the sooner we’ll be able to establish if he needs medicating and considering the size of his overdose, the events leading up to it and how close he came to actually being successful, I do not feel comfortable leaving it any longer. I’m sure he’ll be able to sleep after I’ve completed my evaluation.”

Gibbs sighed and gently shook Tony awake, who looked at him groggily and then around the room when he realised that they were no longer alone. “Tony, this is Dr. Foster, he’s been looking after you since you were brought up here from the E.R. and this is Dr. Mathers, he’s going to do a psych evaluation on you. Do you understand?” Gibbs asked the sleepy Tony.

Tony nodded and grabbed Gibbs’ hand as he made to leave with Dr. Foster. “No, Tony, I’m not allowed to stay, you have to talk to him and because of patient confidentiality laws, I’m not allowed to hear what goes on, I’ll be just outside the door, okay?” Gibbs explained, giving Tony’s hand a quick squeeze, hoping that the small gesture would go unnoticed by the prying eyes of the psychiatrist.

“What if I said it was okay for him to stay? Anything you’re going to ask me you can ask in front of him,” Tony asked the doctor.

Dr. Mathers sighed deeply, he did not approve of the relationship between boss and subordinate, that was obviously more than a professional one. “I’m afraid, the answer would still be no, I have to be sure that none of your answers are influenced by anyone else in the room.”

Gibbs had been right in his initial feeling about the doctor. He didn’t like him and he could see that Tony wasn’t so keen on him either. He gave Tony a small smile and mouthed ‘I love you’ to him before leaving the room with Dr. Foster and taking a seat outside the door.

“How’s he doing?” he asked Dr. Foster.

“The initial test results show some permanent damage to his kidneys, I’m afraid, we’ll continue the dialysis for a few more days and then see if his kidneys can cope with doing their job. If not, he’s looking at a lifetime of dialysis and an eventual kidney transplant. There is also some damage to the liver, but it’s a marvelous organ that heals itself so we’ll continue drug therapy and hopeful the damage will reverse itself. He seems to be alert and apart from some residual memory loss, there don’t seem to be any signs of permanent brain damage, but the CAT scan will tell us more, there is a chance that he could have seizures for the rest of his life, but as you know they are easily controlled with drugs. The main problem is that a Vicodin overdose can cause some blood disorders, which we’re watching out for, only time will tell us how much permanent damage has been done.”

“Will he be able to return to work?”

“I honestly can’t tell you that as this stage, Agent Gibbs. Without knowing how much damage has been done and whether or not he’ll need dialysis and a kidney transplant, I can’t say. At this moment in time, I’d be leaning towards a no, at least not as an active Field Agent.”

Gibbs sighed and put his head in his hands. If Tony couldn’t do his job, he didn’t know what else he would do. “Thank you, doctor.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you, Agent Gibbs?” Dr. Foster asked.

’Heal him, make him better, reverse the damage, allow him to come back to work full time, doing a job he loves and is good at. Please, just make him who he was,’ Gibbs thought to himself. “No, thank you, you’ve done enough all ready,” Gibbs said to the doctor, who nodded and turned to leave the ICU.

How was he going to tell Tony that a mistake he’d made after being raped could have cost him the career he loved?

Chapter Fifteen

Tony sighed deeply as he watched Gibbs leave, he knew that he wouldn’t go further than the chair outside his room, but still he wanted him to stay with him. He really didn’t feel up to talking about his attack and the following overdose with some doctor who seemed to disapprove of his relationship with his boss. Not that it mattered what anyone else thought, but they couldn’t risk many people finding out because of the fact that it could put their jobs at risk and Tony didn’t want to lose his job - some days it was the only thing that kept him going.

He could see Gibbs talking to the other doctor, who looked serious and he wondered what they were talking about. He knew that Gibbs would tell him when he could, but still, he hoped it wasn’t about him and wasn’t anything bad. After the past few days he felt he was owed some good things.

Dr. Mathers sighed as he watched the interaction between Tony and Gibbs, he hadn’t caught what the other man had mouthed at Tony, but he already knew that there was more to this relationship than simply a boss worried about his employee following what had to have been a traumatic rape and overdose. Dr. Foster had told him that Agent Gibbs had not left Tony’s side until he woke up and even then it was only to make a few phone calls and go to the bathroom. The rest of the time he had refused to leave, even when other medical personnel had asked him to.

“Okay, Tony, I just want to let you know that whatever you say here, stays here unless I feel that you are a danger to yourself or others in which case I have to inform somebody for your own safety. Do you understand?” he asked Tony, forcing him to stop looking out the door at Gibbs and at the doctor in front of him who had settled himself into Gibbs’ seat and had a notepad open with a pen poised to write whatever he saw fit.

“I still don’t see why Gibbs had to leave,” Tony replied, avoiding answering the question. He understood alright - one false move and he’d be sent to the psych ward the second he was healthy enough and then they’d drug him into oblivion until he was no longer able to tie his own shoes, let alone try and commit suicide again.

“Tony, I’m going to have to ask you some very personal questions that require honest answers and I don’t want you to feel unable to give me those answers because of anyone else in the room. Now, do you understand what I just explained to you?”

“Yeah, I get it, it’s all confidential unless you think I’m going to go and off myself or other people.”

“Okay, then let’s begin. Why don’t you tell me what happened before you took your overdose?”

“I hurt my shoulder a few weeks back at a crime scene. I wasn’t paying attention and this perp came out of nowhere, my partner, Ziva managed to shoot him before he did any real damage, but he got one round off and it hit me in the shoulder. I was going back to work the next day so I thought I’d go for a run,” Tony said, stopping to take a sip of water. “I left my cell and my gun behind because officially, I wasn’t back on duty and I didn’t want to have to stop and ID myself to anyone who saw me carrying. I started out on my usual running route, taking it slow because of my shoulder and then this guy comes outta nowhere and knocked me to the ground.” Tony took a deep breath, feeling himself start to panic and he wished that Gibbs was there to help him through this. It was the first time since the attack that he’d told anyone what had actually happened and it felt wrong that the person to hear it should be this stranger and not someone who could do something about righting the wrong that had been done to him.

“Please continue, Tony,” Dr. Mathers said, either ignoring or not noticing the discomfort Tony was in. He was writing in his note book and occasionally looking up to face Tony, but basically he wasn’t paying attention. If he had, he would have seen that Tony needed some space, that he wasn’t ready to tell this story yet, not alone, not without his family around him, not without Gibbs.

“He…he er, he kept pressing on my bad shoulder to keep me down. I kicked out at him I think but he had all his weight on me and I couldn’t get away. I remember trying, but I don’t know if I actually did,” Tony stumbled through, the scenes playing through his head over and over and he felt like his world was crumbling around him. He needed Gibbs.

He couldn’t stop the tears that were threatening to fall, but the doctor didn’t seem to notice them, he was more concerned with whatever he was writing in his note book. Why couldn’t he see that this was too raw, too painful for Tony to talk about alone? His heart rate was climbing as his system started to get stressed and if he could have, Tony would have gotten out of the bed and run to grab Gibbs from behind the door and hidden in Gibbs’ embrace until he felt safe again. He didn’t like this doctor and he sure as hell didn’t trust him.

Dr. Mathers looked up and saw the tears streaming down Tony’s cheeks. He knew that it was a painful subject for the young man to talk about, but his job dealt with painful subjects a lot and he felt that he was the best person for the job of hearing Tony describe his attack for the first time. He was pleased that he had banished the young man’s boss from the room because surely, Tony wouldn’t have made this much progress had he been there.

“I…I don’t want to talk about it,” Tony stammered, trying to regain some control over the situation.

“Tony, you will have to give a statement to the police when you’re feeling better physically, would it be better to go over it with them for the first time?” Dr. Mathers asked.

’At least I’ll be talking to my friends and I’ll have Gibbs with me,’ Tony thought. His heart rate grew higher and he was finding it harder and harder to catch his breath. Something was wrong and for whatever reason, the young doctor didn’t notice, he was too busy writing things down to check the many monitors surrounding his patient.

“Well, Tony, do you think that would be the best time to discuss it?” the doctor pressed again.

Tony lay back on his pillows and started to take deep breaths from the oxygen mask. He’d heard the nurses say that in a few more hours he’d be allowed a nasal canula, so long as he kept his oxygen saturations up. The room started to spin, and as the blackness took him away from the room, the last thing he saw was Gibbs shouting something and pressing a button.

~*~

Gibbs sat quietly outside Tony’s room. He couldn’t hear anything that was being said inside the room and neither did he want to. He knew that Tony had wanted him there, but maybe the doctor had been right to make him leave. This way Tony could share everything with him without worrying about upsetting Gibbs or anyone else. It meant that he could be as open as he needed to be.

It wasn’t until he heard the loud shrieking alarm of Tony’s heart monitor that he intervened, he’d kept his back to the window in the door so as not to distract Tony or give the doctor the impression that he didn’t trust him, but when he heard that alarm, he acted immediately.

He pushed open the door, despite the protests of the doctor and pressed the alarm while shouting, “stay with us, DiNozzo!” Tony’s eyes closed and his body started to thrash on the bed. Thankfully, the nurses had been at the desk, watching the remote monitors there so arrived quickly to assess the situation.

They paged Dr. Foster, and worked to keep Tony stable until he arrived. Gibbs kept out of their way, as did Dr. Mathers which was a good thing, because if he’d interfered Gibbs probably would have floored him. How could he have not noticed the climbing heart rate of his patient? The obvious distress Tony was in? If he hadn’t have been forced to leave, this wouldn’t have happened, Gibbs knew that for sure.

Dr. Foster arrived quickly, and soon had control of the situation. He ordered drugs to stop the seizure and had one of the nurses call down to the CAT scan to let them know they would be bringing down a patient shortly.

Once the seizure had stopped, Gibbs stepped up to the bed and grabbed Tony’s hand. He leaned down so that he was whispering into Tony’s ear. “I’m here, I won’t leave you unless I have to, but I’m here.” He planted a soft kiss on Tony’s forehead - not caring who saw it and what conclusions they drew and then turned to Dr. Foster.

“What happens now?” he asked, still keeping hold of Tony’s hand.

“We need to get a CAT scan to check for anything that could be causing the seizures, any underlying damage from the overdose or anything like that. I’m afraid you will have to wait for him to come back, family are not allowed to accompany patients to the scanner,” Dr. Foster told him. Gibbs nodded, keeping hold of Tony’s hand until the porters arrived to move Tony down to the scanner.

Once they were all gone, Gibbs rounded on Dr. Mathers. “Did you not noticed how stressed he was? Did you not think to check the monitors? He nearly died less than twenty-four hours ago and he still could. I want you off his case, I don’t care what you think or what you say, but you stay away from my agent because if you come near him again, I will make you wish you had never been born. Do I make myself clear?” he ranted.

“Yes, sir,” Dr. Mathers replied, a look of shock across his face.

“Dr. Foster, I know you have to leave to be with Tony and see the scans, but can you promise me and my team that this arsehole will not be on Tony’s case anymore?” Gibbs asked, keeping his temper in check.

“I’ll see to it that he’s removed from Tony’s case and will personally find a better psychiatrist for Tony. One that will allow you to stay through their consultation unless Tony wishes otherwise.”

Gibbs thanked the doctor, who disappeared after Tony, leaving Gibbs to wait for news - good or bad.

Chapter Sixteen

When they brought Tony back from his CAT scan, he was still unconscious, which worried Gibbs - surely he should have woken up by now? They expertly transferred him back onto his bed and went about attaching him to the monitors again.

Dr. Foster appeared at the door, carrying what had to be Tony’s scan results, he motioned for Gibbs to join him and although he wanted to stay with Tony and let him know where he was, he knew that whatever the doctor had to tell him was more important.

“Why is he still unconscious?” Gibbs asked, once they were out of Tony’s room.

“He’s not, he woke up in the scanner and asked for you. We tried to explain to him where he was, but he got very agitated so we had to sedate him for the procedure. The effects should wear off in a couple of hours,” the doctor explained.

“Okay.” Gibbs felt relieved, Tony wasn’t unconscious, he was sedated which meant he’d woken up after the seizure which had to be a good thing, surely?

“I’ll need to have a neurologist have a look at these scans, but from what I can see there is no permanent damage, he may still suffer seizures as a result of the overdose, but we can medicate him to ensure they don’t effect him day to day life,” Dr. Foster said.

“So, he’ll have epilepsy for the rest of his life?”

“We don’t know, like I said, only time will tell if he’ll have a seizure disorder. The scans don’t suggest epilepsy, but we will keep him on the medication he’s on at the moment and I’d like you to avoid stressing him out as much as possible as that can be a factor with causing seizures, it seems to be the case of the last one. Like I said, I’m going to ask a neurologist to look at the scan results and maybe do a consultation with Tony, but he’s stable for now and I’ll let you know when I’ve found a suitable psychiatrist for him to talk to.”

“Thank you, do you think it would be okay for me to bring my team in to talk to him? Maybe get a sketch of his attacker?” Gibbs asked, although he had no intention of doing anything until he’d spoken to Tony about it.

“As long as Tony stays calm that should be fine. I know that you want to catch the man responsible, but right now we have to concentrate on getting Tony better and that may mean delaying the investigation.”

“I understand.” Though, he did understand that didn’t mean that he felt okay with delaying the investigation any further. The longer it took for them to get out a BOLO on the guy, the more chance there was of him slipping through the net and not being caught.

He thanked Dr. Foster again and went back into Tony’s room to sit with him while he slept off the sedative. Hopefully, once he woke Gibbs would be able to assess whether Tony was ready to talk to the team about what had happened.

~*~

When Tony opened his eyes, three hours later, the first thing he saw were Gibbs’ eyes staring straight back at him.

“Hey you, wondered when you’d come back to the land of the living,” Gibbs said, putting down the magazine he’d been flicking through whilst Tony had been asleep.

“What happened?” Tony asked, groggily.

“The psych guy stressed you our so much that you had a seizure, they took you for a CAT scan and you woke up, but you were so agitated that I wasn’t there that they had to sedate you,” Gibbs told him.

“I remember the shrink and you coming in and saying something, but everything after that is a blank,” Tony admitted. “Should I be worried about that?”

“No, the doctor said it’s normal for people to forget things after a seizure.”

“Am I gonna keep having them?”

“Well, that they don’t know. You’re on drugs to stop them and they’ll keep you on those until you can see a neurologist who can assess any damage.”

“Dammit, does that mean I won’t be able to be an active Field Agent?”

Gibbs sighed, no one knew if Tony had damaged himself irreversibly and whether or not that would affect his ability to work, but he owed it to Tony to tell him the truth, at least the way he saw it.

“We don’t know, Tony. The truth is the overdose was large enough to cause damage to your kidneys and your liver. You’re on dialysis for your kidneys, drugs for your liver - it may be able to heal itself with a little help, but the doctor said that you may need a transplant if your kidneys can’t recover from the damage the Vicodin did. We don’t know if you can return to work as an active Field Agent, time will tell, but right now we just don’t know.”

Tony sighed and looked at Gibbs, he knew that his boss was telling him all that he knew, but he still wished that he could tell him that everything was going to be okay. He knew that it had been him who’d taken the overdose, but still part of him blamed the man who had raped him. If he’d only taken his gun, or his cell. If only he’d called Gibbs rather than taken an overdose. If only he hadn’t gone for a run that night and just gone to bed instead. If only he hadn’t taken a long shower after the attack. He could ‘if only’ himself to death

“I messed up, boss, I really messed up,” Tony said, finally, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He wasn’t usually such an emotional person, but the events of last day or so had wiped him out and he found himself crying at the smallest thing. Not that losing the job he loved was something small, but he still couldn’t understand why he was crying when he usually coped with these things in a much different way.

“Yeah, you did, but that’s not important right now. What’s important is you getting better and us catching the guy that lead you to this,” Gibbs replied, squeezing Tony’s hand in comfort.

“Okay.” Tony nodded, prying his hand out of Gibbs’ grasp and wiping his face. “Do you know when they’re going to try me without the pacemaker? It’s starting to itch and I don’t like my chest twitching out of my own control.”

“I can ask, but Dr. Foster wants to keep a close eye on you over the next twenty-four hours, you’re still not out of danger yet, so it’ll probably stay on until you’re ready to be moved to a normal room.”

“It’s fine, I’ll ask him when he next comes in,” Tony said, sighing as his chest twitched again. Gibbs hated seeing him like that, so despondent, but he knew that it was a marked improvement on how he’d seen Tony just twenty-four hours earlier.

“Tony, I need to ask you something, but you need to stay calm so as not to trigger another seizure.”

“Okay.”

“Would it be okay for me to ask McGee and Ziva to come and see you? Get Ziva to do a sketch of what the guy looked like and McGee take your statement of what happened? I promise I’ll stay with you the whole time and we don’t have to do it right now, it’s just that the longer we leave it, the more chance there is of this scumbag getting away with what he did to you.”

“It would just be them? No one else?”

“Do you really think I would let any other team at NCIS deal with this? Like Abby said, we’re a family and we deal with our problems as a team. The only people I want on the trail of this perp are McGee and Ziva, with Abby doing processing and Ducky autopsying the guy when I’ve beaten him to a pulp.”

“You’re going to kill him?”

“I wish I could say I could, but no, only if the situation warrants it. Doesn’t mean I won’t make the remainder of his life a living hell for attacking one of my people, not to mention the man that I love.”

Tony smiled and settled back against the pillows, he was still feeling the effects of the sedative, pulling at him to close his eyes and give in to a couple more hours sleep. He could see Gibbs watching him closely, so his boss obviously knew that he needed more sleep, but he wouldn’t let Tony rest until he had an answer. It was important for both Tony’s recovery and Gibbs’ feeling of guilt at letting his man down that they get on the trail of the perp.

“Can I call them, Tony?” Gibbs asked, he realised that it would not be long before Tony was asleep again and he was desperate for an answer before then.

“Yes, and tell them to bring Abby, I can hold onto her as I tell them what happened.”

“You won’t need Abby to hold onto, Tony, I’ll be here by your side the whole time. I won’t leave, no matter what you have to say,” Gibbs promised

“You sure? It’s not nice to hear.”

“It’s not nice to talk about, but you’re strong enough to do that and I’ll be strong enough to hear it. I was a marine, after all.”

“I love you, Gibbs,” Tony half-whispered as sleep rushed up to claim him, he almost didn’t hear Gibbs return the sentiment, but he felt the gentle kiss on his forehead as he relaxed into sleep’s open arms.

Chapter Seventeen

Gibbs asked for the phone to be brought to him, while Tony slept. He could have left him and made the phone call at the nurses’ station, but Tony had quite a good grip on his hand and he was worried that if he moved, it would wake the man and it was obvious that he needed the sleep. Sleep helped the body heal and Lord knows, Tony could do with all the help he could get.

The day nurses were nice, but nowhere near as nice as the one or two that had stopped in to Tony’s room during the night. For one, they didn’t let him have any coffee from their staff room and two; they gave him an exasperated look when he asked for the phone to be brought in so he could make a private phone call. He tried to explain to them that he was a Federal Agent and it was concerning an active case, but they hadn’t seemed to be interested or to really care. Still, they brought him the phone, so he couldn’t really complain.

He dialed the number for the morgue first, planning to update Ducky on Tony’s condition, then he dialed Abby’s lab and asked her to catch a lift with McGee and Ziva and come back up to Bethesda to be there when Tony gave his statement. Finally, he dialed the number for McGee’s desk.

“Agent McGee speaking,” was the answer he got after it had rung three times.

“McGee, it’s me.”

“Okay, boss. I’m guessing you want an update on Tony’s case, right?” McGee asked, sounding nervous.

“Yeah, I do, but you can do it in person. I need you and Ziva to collect Abby and come to Bethesda, tell Ziva to bring a sketch pad and you’re going to be taking Tony’s statement about what happened. Hopefully, Ziva will be able to get a good sketch from Tony’s description and we’ll be able to get a BOLO out for this guy.”

“Okay, boss. When do you want us?”

“Now, McGee. Get your stuff, get off the phone and get your butts here. The sooner you get here, the sooner we can get that BOLO out and catch that arsehole.”

“On it, boss,” McGee said, but Gibbs had already hung up. McGee looked over at Ziva who had looked up at the mention of Gibbs being on the phone.

“How is Tony?” she asked, as McGee got up and grabbed his stuff.

“I don’t know, he didn’t say,” McGee replied, hearing the elevator ping. Abby appeared from round the corner and from the looks of things, Gibbs had called her first because she was ready to leave.

“You did not ask? Why not?” Ziva demanded. “I mean, do you not care?”

“Ziva, Gibbs wants us to take Tony’s statement and he wants you to do a sketch of the perp from Tony’s description. Grab your stuff, he wants us at Bethesda now,” McGee explained to the confused Ziva.

Ziva nodded and grabbed her backpack which contained everything she would need when investigating a crime scene, including her sketchpad and pencils. She followed McGee and Abby as they made their way to the elevator and out into the parking garage.

When they got to the car, Ziva grabbed the keys off McGee, “I will drive. We need to get there fast and you drive like an old wombat.”

“I think you mean, woman,” Abby corrected, laughing at Ziva’s mistake.

“Whatever, get in,” Ziva replied, not bothering to correct herself. She knew she still had to learn a lot of the English language, but right now her main concern was getting to Bethesda, seeing Tony for herself and drawing a sketch that would put his attacker behind bars.

~*~

Tony was still asleep when the team arrived in the ICU. Gibbs could see them through the windows that surrounded Tony’s room. He didn’t get up because he knew that Abby had been there before so would show the other two where they needed to go.

McGee knocked on the door and waited for Gibbs to say something before he opened it - that boy was sometimes too nervous for his own good. He set down the kit he had brought with him, as well as his backpack and looked at Tony who was still asleep.

“He’s asleep,” Gibbs told them, he didn’t want them to worry that Tony had slipped back into a coma and he hadn’t told them. “I’ll wake him up in a minute, but first we have a few things to discuss.”

All three of them nodded, Abby settled down in a chair on the opposite side of Tony’s bed than Gibbs, whilst Ziva put down her stuff and leant against the wall opposite Tony’s bed and McGee just stayed standing where he was.

“Have you managed to progress any further in the case?” Gibbs asked.

McGee took the lead and shook his head. “Abby’s run all the samples through all the databases she can think of and we’re coming up with nothing,” he told Gibbs.

“I’ve double checked them all, Gibbs and whoever attacked Tony is just not in the system or if he is, they don’t have his DNA for us to match it to. When we get a suspect, we can get a sample and I can try and match it, but until then there’s nothing I can do,” Abby added, sounding sorrowful.

They all felt pretty helpless because without a description of the attacker or a DNA match or other evidence that may have been washed away when Tony showered after the rape there was little they could do in the way of tracking down a suspect. Hopefully, whatever came of this visit would allow them to start the investigation and actually get somewhere with it.

“Okay, now, Tony is still very sick. His doctor said he’s stable, but he still needs dialysis which should start in a couple of hours so I need you all done by then because there won’t be room for us all and the dialysis unit. He’s had a session with a shrink who was an arsehole and got Tony so stressed out he had a seizure, I need you all to try and keep him as calm as possible…any signs of him stressing out and we’ll do this another time, do you all understand me?” Gibbs explained.

They all nodded. “Good. Now, I’m going to wake Tony but you should all be aware that since his attack, we’ve both come to realise how we feel about each other. If either one of you has a problem with the fact that Tony and I are gay and in a relationship, you should leave now and I’ll arrange for you to be transferred to another team. Needless to say, this remains between us.” They all looked at each other, but none of them spoke up, which Gibbs took to mean there wasn’t a problem, but he had to be sure.

“Well?” he asked, pushing the subject.

“You know I don’t have a problem, bossman,” Abby piped up.

“No problem here, boss,” McGee said.

“I have no problem with it,” Ziva told him, smirking. “I guessed a while ago that there was some gissom between you two.”

“Gissom?” Gibbs asked, looking confused.

“I think she means ‘frissom’,” McGee explained. Gibbs nodded and turned his attention back to Tony, who was still holding tightly onto his hand. It was time for the interview to start and maybe Tony would find it easier with pretty much the whole of his self-made family around him. At least Gibbs hoped it would, the last thing Tony needed right now was another set-back.

Chapter Eighteen

Tony woke up slowly, with Gibbs coaxing him all the way. The sedative had long since worn off, but the sleepiness still had some sort of pull on Tony. “Come on, DiNozzo, show me those green eyes I love so much,” Gibbs said, whilst gently shaking Tony’s shoulder - not the one that had recently been the victim of a gunshot wound.

When he finally came round, he look around the room taking in the three new faces and panicked slightly because he could remember Gibbs giving him a kiss in the beginning of trying to get him to wake up. He must have done that in front of everyone, which meant they knew. What were they going to do now? How could Gibbs have been so stupid?

“It’s okay, Tony, we know you and Gibbs are an item,” Abby said, realising why Tony looked so out of sorts. “He told us before he woke you up. None of us have a problem with it and we’re not going to run to the Director and tell her so calm down.” Abby’s voice was soothing and Tony was able to calm himself quickly, whilst still trying to place himself in the room.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked McGee and Ziva. He guessed that Abby had come for another visit, but since his other two friends hadn’t been to see since he’d been brought in - or at least since he woke up, he couldn’t remember why they were there now.

“We are here to take your statement and I will do a sketch of your attacker,” Ziva told him.

“Remember Tony, I asked you if I could call them in before you went to sleep?” Gibbs asked, his thumb now rubbing small circles on the back of Tony’s hand to comfort him.

“Yeah, I remember, it just took me a while to get there is all,” Tony replied, enjoying the close contact with Gibbs and knowing that his friends and colleagues knew the truth about them and didn’t seem to care either way. It made him feel more accepted than he had ever felt before.

He knew that his parents had loved him, they just hadn’t loved him, they had never been proud of anything he did and had cut him off at twelve, sending him away to military school, from there he went to Ohio State and then onto the Police Academy and eventually after a few jobs in various precincts he moved to Washington D.C. to join the NCIS team and he’d never been happier. His parents, on the other hand, had wanted him to go into the family business and did not approve of his life choices. They certainly would not approve of his relationship with Gibbs and for once, Tony found that he didn’t care because his real ‘family’ approved and were happy for him and that was all that mattered.

“You can begin when you’re ready, Tony,” Gibbs said, squeezing the hand in his gently. Abby took hold of the hand with the IV in and held it in a way so as not to disturb the IV, letting Tony know that she was there to support him through this as well.

Tony took a deep breath and looked around the room once more. McGee had his PDA out and had the stylus poised to take notes when Tony started speaking. Ziva was using a Gibbs style PDA - a pad and a pencil, which he assumed was what she, was going to use to do a sketch of his attacker. Abby was watching the pair of them, praying that they not make a mistake and upset Tony, worried mostly for his health, but also because she liked them and didn’t want to have to kick their butts for upsetting the bossman and Tony.

Tony trusted these people to have his six on crime scenes, to have his back at every other time and he knew that they were the right people to hear what had happened for the first time he spoke about it.

“It was pretty late, and Gibbs was supposed to be picking me up at 6am the following morning so I could get to work, but I decided to get back into the habit of going for a run, I left my cell and my gun at home. I didn’t think I need them - didn’t think at all really. I think part of me didn’t want to run into a cop, him see me carrying and me have to get out my ID and ruin the pace I’d set with my run. Pretty fucking pathetic when you think about it.”

McGee was writing notes on everything Tony said and looked up when he stopped talking.

“Go on, Tony,” Gibbs said, squeezing the hand in his again. Tony took a deep breath and was silent for a few minutes. He could feel everyone’s eyes on him, but he knew they weren’t staring to judge him, just to make him feel as safe as they could so that he could talk about the horror of that night.

“I started out on my usual run, going the places I felt safest at that time of night, and then this guy just came out of nowhere, he grabbed me by my bad shoulder and knocked me to the ground. He kept my pinned by putting all his weight on my bad shoulder and it hurt like a son of a bitch, so I couldn’t move. I remember kicking out at him, but he was too quick for me, it was dark, I was blinded by pain, I couldn’t get my aim right, he…he pulled at my pants and I remember thinking what the hell could he want? I was processing it all way too slowly, I don’t know, I just couldn’t understand why he wanted to mug me with my pants down. That was until he had me half naked and pressed against me. God, I thought getting shot hurt, let me tell you, getting ass raped by some guy who doesn’t know the definition of lube? Yeah, that hurts a hell of a lot more,” Tony carried on, letting out a little laugh. He was trying to lighten the situation, but it didn’t work, the room was too serious, as they listened to their friend describe what had to have been the worst night of his life.

“Anyway, he, he…er…he whispered in my ear about how tight I was and how good it felt and then it was pretty much over, he slapped me across the face, cut my lip open. I lay there for what felt like forever, but was probably only a couple of minutes - to make sure he’d gone y’know?” Tony said, stopping to look round the room again. He hated the look on his friends’ faces, they all had different emotions displayed on their faces and none of them were good.

“Is that it?” Gibbs asked, squeezing Tony’s hand to let him know he was there to support him.

“You know the rest, I went home, I showered for a good hour or so, then I took an overdose and I don’t remember anything else until I woke up here,” Tony replied.

“Can you describe the attacker?” Ziva asked, her pad and pencil ready to start drawing whenever Tony gave her something to work with.

“I didn’t see much of his face and it was dark,” Tony admitted.

“Anything is better than what we have now,” Abby said, leaning in to give Tony a hug. “I’m sorry to had to go through that again.”

“It’s fine, it’s was better than talking to that shrink, having my family around me made it easier,” Tony told her, after she’d sat back down from the hug.

“Close your eyes, Tony. I want to try something,” Gibbs said. “Remember that we’re all with you and you’re safe. No one can get to you here, they’d have to come through me, McGee, Ziva and Abby before they could touch you.”

Tony obeyed and closed his eyes.

“Now, I want you to go back to that night. It was cold, dark, and you were scared.” Tony started to breathe deeper and his heart rate started to climb, Gibbs had one eye on Tony and the other on the monitors. “Calm down, Tony, we’re with you this time. Can you see us?”

After a few moments Tony nodded and his heart rate returned to normal. “Now, look at the guy who attacked you, just say whatever comes to mind when you look at him, try to describe him for Ziva,” Gibbs said, in a soothing tone. Tony relaxed and squeezed Gibbs’ hand to let him know he was calm.

“He’s wearing a black hoodie, you know the kind kids wear, his face isn’t covered but I can’t see all of it. His eyes are dark coloured and there’s a tuft of brown hair that the hoodie hasn’t covered.”

“You’re doing great, Tony. What about his height and build?” Gibbs asked, concentrating only on Tony and not on what the rest of the room was doing.

“He’s the same height as McGee and thin as a rake, but he doesn’t look healthy with it. He looks like a druggie, if only I could see his arms to check for track marks, but the way he acts is like he’s after my money, when he’s not. Oh God, why me? Why didn’t he just mug me? Why did he have to rape me?” Tony cried out, his heart rate climbing. Gibbs didn’t know what to do, he hadn’t expected this outburst, even though he’d been warned that it would eventually come as Tony started to come to terms with being raped.

“Open you eyes, Tony,” Gibbs said, trying to calm him before another seizure happened. Tony obeyed and started to breathe fast and shallow. Abby tired to hug him, but Gibbs’ look warned her off.

“You’re safe here, Tony. You’re safe, just concentrate on slowing your breathing and remember you’re safe, I will protect you from anyone who tries to hurt you,” Gibbs said, leaning close to Tony so that all he could see was Gibbs’ face. It look five minutes for Tony to calm down and then Gibbs leaned back into his chair so that Tony could see everyone else.

“We’re going to catch that bastard, Tony,” Abby promised, though she wasn’t sure she should seeing as so far all they had was semen and a sketchy description of the man, but she knew that with Gibbs on the case, they would catch him if they had to interview a thousand people and check a thousand crime scenes. He would not give up.

“I will put together a sketch and bring it back for you to check before we put it on the BOLO,” Ziva told Tony and Gibbs. Gibbs nodded that that was okay.

“I’ll get all of this written out in a report and bring it back for Tony to sign and start sending out a BOLO for a man of that description,” McGee said, Gibbs nodded at him too. “We…uh…we should get back to the office and back to work,” he added, seeing that Gibbs was still staring at him.

“That sounds like a good idea, McGee. Call me here with any news,” Gibbs replied, giving the young probie a smile. They all said their goodbyes to both Gibbs and Tony and left them alone.

Chapter Nineteen

They weren’t alone for long, just as the team left; the team responsible for Tony’s dialysis arrived and started setting him up for his session. Dr. Foster was with them and he motioned for Gibbs to join him out in the hall.

“I’ll just be a minute, Tony,” he said, releasing his hand from Tony’s grip and heading out of the room to join the doctor.

“I just wanted to discuss some tests with you,” the doctor said. “I trust you’ll be able to pass it onto Tony in a way that won’t stress him out.”

“Of course,” Gibbs said, suddenly concerned about the tests. “What’s going on then?”

“I’ve spoken to a neurologist and because of his suggestions I’ve ordered an MRI, and an EEG to help us determine what’s causing Tony’s seizures, we’ve taken some blood to check some things out, but the treatment plan will all depend on what we find - if anything. You won’t be able to accompany Tony to either tests, so I suggest that you use that time to have a shower and get a change of clothes, away from the hospital as I guess you’re planning on spending the rest of the day and night with him as you did previously,” Dr. Foster explained.

“Why the MRI? Didn’t the CAT scan show what you were looking for?”

“There is a possibility that when Tony arrested early this morning, his brain was starved of oxygen and damage could have been done that is causing the seizures, the MRI will tell us if that is the case. The CAT scan isn’t detailed enough to show us that kind of damage. The EEG is just a precaution and routinely done on patients who have seizures without any known cause.”

“Didn’t the Vicodin cause it?” Gibbs asked, sounding and looking worried. Tony couldn’t have brain damage, he wouldn’t allow it.

“It may have been responsible, but without the MRI, EEG and blood test results, I can’t say for certain,” Dr. Foster replied.

“When will you do the tests?”

“As soon as this session of dialysis is over. Once the tests are done, I’ll go over the results with you and Tony, as well as consulting with a neurologist and if need be, I’ll refer Tony to him for a consult.”

“Thanks for letting me know.”

“How did it go with your team? The nurses said they were in there for a while.”

“About two hours, Tony managed to talk through what happened and gave us a description of the guy. It’s not much to work with, but my people are good and given that it was something they knew that was attacked, they’ll track the bastard down.”

“Good. I’ll let you get back to Tony now.” With that, Dr. Foster headed over to the nurses station, leaving Gibbs to turn back into Tony’s room.

Tony smiled when Gibbs took his place back at his side. “How’re you feeling?” Gibbs asked, when he saw Tony wince as he moved his head.

“I don’t know. My back hurts, and this dialysis thing is no fun. My neck is killing me,” Tony replied, wincing again as he tried to get comfortable. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not really here, like this is all a dream or something.”

“That’s probably a side effect of the overdose, Tony. The first dialysis session cleared the drug from your system, but it still had time to do some damage,” Gibbs said.

“Like what?”

“Well, you know about your kidneys and your liver. The doc thinks that maybe when you arrested early this morning your brain may have been starved of oxygen and it could have caused some damage that is causing the seizures. You’re going to have an MRI and an EEG at some point after the dialysis,” Gibbs explained, hoping that Tony would stay calm when he digested the news.

“More tests?”

“They want to be sure, they have to know what’s causing the seizures and once they find the cause they’ll know if it’ll happen for the rest of your life and be able to start you on some medication to combat them.”

“If I have a seizure disorder, will I still be able to be an active Field Agent?”

Gibbs sighed, he was hoping he wouldn’t have to have this conversation with Tony until he’d had a chance to check the regulations, talk to Ducky and possibly the Director so that he could give Tony an honest and complete answer.

“I don’t know, Tony. I won’t be allowed to come with you when you go for your tests so I’m going to head into work to talk to Ducky and possibly Jen about it to see what they say, as well as grab a shower and clean change of clothes from home so that I can happily stay with you tonight.”

“You don’t have to stay,” Tony said, lowering his eyes. He didn’t want to be left on his own at that moment in time, he knew that he’d have nightmares about his attack for weeks to come and he wanted somewhere there to comfort him should they happen, but he knew that Gibbs had more important things to do than watch over him.

“Hey, it’s where I want to be,” Gibbs replied, calming Tony’s fears in an instant. “Now, lie back and let that machine do its work. Get some sleep, I’ve had an MRI and it’s very tiring just laying still.”

“Sure thing, boss,” Tony said, sleepily. He hadn’t realised how much having the team there had tired him out, so he closed his eyes and soon he was off in the land of dreams. He knew he was safe because he could feel Gibbs holding onto his hand.

~*~

Tony slept most of the way through his dialysis session, only waking when they came to disconnect him, Gibbs watched as Tony winced at any movement to his neck, he didn’t like seeing the man in pain, but he knew that with his kidneys needing dialysis to work and the liver damage being so severe, there was no way the doctors could or even would give him something for the pain. So, Tony would just have to suffer, but at least he wouldn’t be alone.

Gibbs made a mental to-do list in his head, first he would go home, have a quick shower and pack a small bag because it looked like he’d be staying at the hospital for a while and wouldn’t always be able to leave to get a change of clothes. After he was done there, he would head to NCIS and track down Ducky for his advice on what Dr. Foster had said, both about the condition of Tony’s liver and kidneys and about the possibility of brain damage causing the seizures. He was sure the doctor would be up on NCIS guidelines and know whether it was inhibit Tony’s ability to do his job as an active Field Agent.

The one thing he was dreading was speaking to the Director, he had spoken to her briefly to inform her of what had happened to Tony and that he wouldn’t be in work until Tony was more stable, but he wasn’t sure how she would take the knowledge that Tony may not be able to return to work. Part of him was worried that she would use his seizure disorder - if there was one - against him and find a way to fire him, or move him off Gibbs’ team or worse, tell him he could only do desk duty, which he knew would result in Tony’s resignation because he’d rather resign than be stuck behind a desk day in and day out.

Although Gibbs knew it would be a while before Tony was able to return to active duty - taking the gunshot wound and the after effects of the overdose into consideration - he wanted to be able to tell the man that after however long of desk duty there was a light at the end of the tunnel and that he would soon be back on active duty, watching Gibbs’ six.

“Penny for them?” Tony asked, breaking Gibbs’ train of thought.

“What?”

“Whatever has you so worried that you’re wearing your ‘leave me alone or die’ stare,” Tony said, smirking.

“I was just thinking about what I need to do while you’re down having your tests. I don’t want to be more than a couple of hours and be back here before you so that you’re not alone any longer than necessary.”

“I’ll be fine, boss. If you’re not here when I get back, I’ll just sleep or something.”

“Not the point, Tony. I want to be here before you get back. I don’t like the thought of leaving as it is, but I can’t protect you if I’m not here.”

“Noone is going to hurt me, Gibbs. They’re more concerned with me surviving.”

“Yeah, but what about that asshole shrink, he wasn’t exactly the most helpful man towards your recovery, was he?”

“No, but…”

“No buts, I’ll be here when you get back, okay?”

“Okay.” Tony leaned back against the pillows with the intention of grabbing a few more hours shut eye before they came to get him for his tests, but he barely had his eyes closed for a few seconds before Gibbs was telling him that the porters were here for him.

Gibbs stood as they transferred Tony onto a gurney and attached the various wires to the portable monitors and once he was safely on the gurney, Gibbs leant down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

“Behave, I’ll see you when you get back.”

“Yes, boss.” With that, the porters led Tony away.

Chapter Twenty

At first, Gibbs couldn’t remember where he’d parked his car. In all the confusion and hurry to get Tony seen to, it had been dumped outside the ambulance entrance of the ER. He assumed Ducky must have moved it during one of those times when he’d been left alone with Tony. He thought about ringing the man to find out where he’d parked it, but then he spotted the siren, still atop the car and headed in that direction.

He was surprised that the siren was still there, surprised that someone hadn’t stolen it to get away with going fast, but then again the adaptor that made it run off the car engine and work was inside the locked car and although he’d been in the hospital for over twenty-four hours, no one had obviously thought about breaking into his car to steal the siren, so there it had stayed.

Once he got into his car, he flashbacked to the last time he was there - with Tony in the back, dying and Ducky trying to keep him alive - it took him several minutes to stop shaking and be able to actually put the key in the ignition and start the car.

He drove towards his home at his normal, breakneck speed. It wasn’t an emergency as it had been the last time he’d driven, but he was desperate to get everything done within the two hour time slot Dr. Foster had given him for Tony’s tests to be over with.

He pulled into his parking spot, not ten minutes after leaving the hospital, he climbed out of the car and locked the doors, remembering just in time to take the siren off the top of the car and stow it away in its normal place. Gibbs then went inside and stripped as he headed to the shower. He intended to spend as little time at home as humanely possible, even if it did leave a mess to clear up when he finally returned. He didn’t care about that; all he cared about was getting back to Tony at Bethesda.

He showered quickly and threw on some clothes when he was done, then he packed a bag he had grabbed out of the wardrobe and went back to the car. Flinging the bag in the backseat, he made his way to the Navy Yard.

When he arrived at NCIS, he found Ziva with her head down, working on the sketch for the BOLO. McGee was nowhere to be seen, but Gibbs guessed he was probably down in Abby’s lab helping her with something. He could see Tony’s statement on McGee’s desk, all typed up and ready to be signed when Tony was ready. He didn’t stop to talk, just stormed past Ziva and the other empty desks and headed for the elevator that would take him to the morgue.

Thankfully, when he arrived at the morgue, Ducky was on his own, which was good because with the sense of urgency that he felt, Gibbs didn’t think he’d be able to handle Palmer.

“Hello, Jethro, what brings you down here? Nothing bad, I hope?” Ducky asked, when he looked up from the paperwork he was working on and saw his friend in the doorway.

“Tony’s fine, there’s just a few things I wanted to go over with you while I have this little break from the hospital,” Gibbs said, reassuring the old man.

“Why have you left?”

“Tony’s having some tests and the doctor kinda ordered me to go home, change and shower. So, I’ve done that and still have ninety minutes before Tony’ll be back from his tests and there’s a few things I’m worried about and need clarifying.”

Ducky pulled over one of the stools and motioned for Gibbs to sit down. “I’m all ears, Jethro. I’ll be happy to help in any way I can.”

“You know about Tony needing dialysis?”

“Yes, if you remember I arrived there just after his first session.”

“Okay, well his doctor isn’t sure how long he’ll need it for and whether or not he’ll need a kidney transplant as a result of the damage done by the overdose. I want to know how likely it is that there’ll be permanent damage.”

“Well, without seeing Tony’s tox screen and knowing how much Vicodin he ingested and how long it was in his system and how much was absorbed by the body, I can only go with what his doctor is telling you, Jethro. There may be a chance that Tony’s kidneys just can’t heal from the damage and if so, then a transplant will be needed and until a match can be found, he’ll need dialysis three times a week.”

Gibbs sighed, filing the information away to explain to Tony later. “What about his liver?”

“Well, they’ve started him on drugs to combat the damage done there and the liver is an excellent organ in that it heals itself, so it’s likely that with time and the medication, Tony can recover from that. Of course, he won’t be able to drink alcohol for a long while as that is detrimental to the liver and he’ll also have to be careful which over the counter medicines he uses as some of them are known for liver toxicity.”

“Right. They’re doing an MRI and an EEG at the moment, something about possible brain damage because of the arrest starving oxygen to his brain, which could explain the repeated seizures,” Gibbs said, moving on quickly because he feared that if he stopped Ducky would launch into one of his stories and delay him further. Gibbs knew the Director was going to be the hardest to get away from and wanted to leave plenty of time to talk to her.

“It sounds like you understand that one perfectly fine, what’s the question, Jethro?”

“If it turns out there is damage, or that Tony has some seizure disorder, will he be able to return as an active Field Agent?”

“I’d have to double check the most recent medical guidelines, but as far as I can remember, as long as the seizures are controlled and will not be induced by the work he does, then there is no reason why Anthony can’t come back to work doing the same job he did before this unfortunate incident. He’ll be on desk duty a while because of his shoulder injury and he wouldn’t be allowed to drive until he’d been seizure free for six months, but other than that, I really don’t see a problem with it.”

“Thanks, Duck,” Gibbs said, smiling.

“I take it that that is what you wanted to hear?”

“Yeah, it was.”

“Can I interest you in a drop of a little something before you head back to Bethesda?”

“Thanks, Duck, but I’ll get something from the canteen before I leave. I have to go and have a word with the Director and I want to get back to the hospital before Tony is back from his tests so that he’s not alone.”

“I heard from Abby that you managed to get a statement and description of his attacker?”

“We did, Ziva’s up there now making up a sketch for the BOLO,” Gibbs told him, standing up to signal that he really did have to leave.

“Well, give my love to young Anthony and tell him we’re all rooting for him. I’ll come and see him in a few days when he’s hopefully off ICU and in his own room.”

“I’ll tell him. Thanks for the info, Duck.”

“Anytime, Jethro.”

With that, Gibbs left the morgue and entered the elevator, pressing the button for the Director’s office. He was dreading having to talk to Jen about Tony, but he knew it had to be done and he needed to arrange some personal leave to allow him to be able to stay with Tony while he recovered. He knew he was going to have a fight on his hands, because the Director would want to know why Tony’s family couldn’t be called in to look after Tony if he needed looking after. For the Director of NCIS, she wasn’t half dense sometimes.

He did the unusual and knocked on the Director’s door. Cynthia wasn’t at her desk so he assumed that it would be fine for him to speak to the Director and if she was in a meeting, he was sure she would let him know.

“Come in,” she called from inside the room.

Gibbs opened the door and stepped inside, stopping in front of Jenny’s desk. “Cynthia wasn’t there so I assumed…”

“You assumed correctly, but you knocked, which means I’m going to pay big for this meeting,” she told him.

“I need to arrange some personal leave.”

“Why?”

“To look after Tony.”

“Tony’s a big boy, he can look after himself.”

“Have you forgotten that he tried to take his own life less than twenty-four hours ago? That he’s in the ICU at Bethesda, currently having tests to check for brain damage?” Gibbs snapped, giving away more information than he had intended to.

“I remember, Jethro, I just don’t see why you need to take time off to care for him when he has a family that can do that just as well.”

“His family is us. Either you give me the leave - of which I have more than enough - or I resign, your choice.”

The Director sighed, dealing with Gibbs often gave her a migraine, but she could see that he wouldn’t be moved on this subject, so she took the easy option.

“How long do you need?” she asked, pulling out the appropriate forms.

“Two weeks to begin with, I’ll review it when I know more about Tony’s condition.”

“Sign the form, and please, give Tony my love,” the Director said, not once looking Gibbs in the eye. Gibbs signed his name in the box, nodded at the Director’s request and left her office, heading for the parking garage.

Once he got to his car, he checked his watch; it had taken him just over an hour to do all he needed to do, so he thought about stopping at his favourite coffee shop to stock up on coffee. He had time to have at least two cups and order another to take back to the hospital with him. He smiled as he headed in that direction, he was going to be back before Tony with time to spare and he hoped that the doctor gave him the news he was hoping for.

Chapter Twenty-One

When Gibbs arrived back in the ICU and Tony’s room, he was right in his assumption that he would make it back before Tony did. The room was empty, and Gibbs took his usual set by what was Tony’s bed and sipped from his full coffee cup. He’d had his two cups and brought two along with him, with the reasoning that he drank them so fast that the second one would still be warm when he was through with the first. At least he hoped that would be the case because he couldn’t stand cold coffee.

He was alone for no more than fifteen minutes when Tony was brought back to the ICU from his tests, they had shaved a little of his hair off for the EEG and it made him look very different than the guy Gibbs had left less than two hours previously. He dumped his first cup of coffee into a bin as they lifted Tony from the gurney into his bed and set about re-attaching the wires and such. Gibbs stood out of the way, drinking his second cup of coffee which was, thankfully, still quite warm.

Tony looked dazed as he was laid back in his bed, like he’d been sedated but not given quite enough to make him sleep.

“Tony, you with me? Gibbs asked, once all the porters and nurses had left. He was waiting for Dr. Foster to arrived with the results from Tony’s MRI and EEG.

“I’m here, boss,” Tony answered, sounding really groggy. “I just need to sleep for a while, is that okay?”

“Of course it is,” Gibbs told him, taking his hand and giving it an affectionate squeeze. He sat back, his hand still holding Tony’s and drank his coffee whilst waiting for the doctor to appear.

He didn’t have to wait long, Dr. Foster appeared in the ICU less than ten minutes after Tony had. Gibbs watched him through the glass windows, as he approached the nurses’ station and spoke to the nurse in charge of Tony’s care for a few moments and then headed to Tony’s room, where Gibbs was waiting for him.

“I have the results of the tests we’ve just performed and the neurologist was present so he’s already looked at them,” Dr. Foster said.

“Tony’s asleep, did you give him another sedative?” Gibbs asked.

“We had to, with the pacemaker causing his chest to twitch and his own nervousness, he kept moving during the MRI and the only way to get a clear picture is if the patient is completely still. It wasn’t a large dose, just enough to calm him down.”

“Yeah, I guessed as much, but he’s just dropped off and I’d rather he slept, so can we talk outside?”

“Of course.” Gibbs maneuvered his hand out of Tony’s grasp, who muttered in his sleep at the loss, and then joined Dr. Foster just outside of Tony’s room with the door left open in case the young man needed them or woke up.

“We think we have managed to discover the cause of all of Tony’s seizures,” Dr. Foster said.

“Okay.” Gibbs leaned back against the wall, from the way things sounded, this was not going to be good news.

“If you’ll remember, his first seizure happened when the Vicodin was still in his system and whilst his kidneys were going into failure, we believe that one was caused by the build up of toxins in his system and had he not had another more, it would have been put down to a one time thing,” Dr. Foster explained.

“But he had two more,” Gibbs said, starting to worry.

“He did, both after his arrest when for a short while there was no oxygen going to his brain. I’m afraid the MRI showed a small amount of brain damage, which caused the second and third seizure. His EEG was not normal, indicating that he has a seizure disorder that will continue throughout his adult life.”

“Oh, God,” Gibbs said, dropping his head as he ran through all the things that Tony could now not do. Possibly his job at the forefront of his mind.

“I’m starting him on Phenytoin - a drug that works well in controlling seizure disorders other than epilepsy. The neurologist will come and see Tony when he’s moved off of ICU and into a private room to check on how he’s coping with the drug.”

“When do you think he’ll be moved?”

“Well, we’re coming up to the forty-eight hour mark since the overdose. Tomorrow, we’ll try taking him off the pacemaker to assess the damage to his heart, but please remember that there is a possibility that he’ll need a permanent one to keep his heart beating at a regular rhythm. We’ll know more once we test his heart off the external pacemaker.”

“So, he could need one for life?”

“Yes, but as I said, we’ll know more after we do some tests.”

“If he doesn’t need a pacemaker, will he be moved tomorrow?”

“He could be, we’d like to keep an eye on him off the pacemaker for twelve hours or so, but if that comes off with no problems tomorrow morning then I see no reason why he couldn’t be moved to a private room tomorrow evening. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just that with the investigation started, people are going to need to be able to talk to him and I don’t want to over crowd the ICU. Plus, of course, once he’s off ICU, it’s a sure sign that he’s on the mend.”

“He has a long road ahead of him, both mentally and physically. He’ll need to speak with one of our psychiatrists before he can leave and I’m sure they would like for him to have regular therapy even after he leaves the hospital.”

“I can understand that. The agency will require him to speak with one of our psychiatrists before he an return to be declared mentally fit to work,” Gibbs said.

“I can imagine they would, especially in your line of work. I need to get off now, but I’ll come and check on Tony before I leave for the night. I see you took my advice and got some time away from the hospital,” Dr. Foster said, noting the change in clothes.

“Thanks for your time, I’ll speak to Tony about it all so that he’s up to date on his condition. Do you think it would be possible for me to borrow the phone to call a friend?” Gibbs asked.

“Of course, just dial ‘9’ for an outside line.” With that, the doctor left and with a quick glance back into Tony’s room, Gibbs made his way to the nurses’ station to make his phone call.

He dialed the number for the morgue, hoping that Ducky was still doing his autopsy and would be able to spare a few minutes with him on the phone.

“Morgue,” Palmer said, answering the phone.

“Palmer, it’s Gibbs, can I speak to Ducky for a moment?” Gibbs asked, trying to keep his cool. He didn’t know what it was about the man, but for some reason Gibbs found himself getting angry whenever he spoke to Palmer for longer than a few minutes.

Palmer didn’t reply, just put the phone down and called over to Ducky, who took a few minutes to cross the room and pick up the phone. “Dr. Mallard speaking.”

“Ducky, it’s me,” Gibbs said, wishing that Palmer had passed onto Ducky that it was him on the phone, he was wasting time, he didn’t want to be away from Tony too long in case he woke up and wondered why he was not there.

“What can I do for you, Jethro?”

“They’re taking Tony off the external pacemaker tomorrow morning, can you be here so that if something goes wrong I have someone with me to explain it rather than bother the doctor while he stablises Tony?”

“Of course, what did the MRI and EEG show?”

“There’s a small amount of brain damage from lack of oxygen during his arrest, he’ll have seizures for life but they’ve started him on a drug called Pheynowhatit and that should help.”

“It’s also called Dilantin, well that’s what will be written on the bottle anyhow. I’ve heard of it, it’s a very good anti-seizure medication. I’ll check the current medical guidelines, but as I said earlier, I see no reason why Anthony couldn’t return to active field work if his seizures were controlled with drugs.”

“Thanks, Duck, I’d appreciate it, if you could do that before you come tomorrow then at least if he needs a permanent pacemaker we’ll be able to give him some good news to take his mind off it.”

“Of course, Jethro. I’ll look it up once I’m done autopsying Petty Officer Adams. Interesting case, actually, reminds me of the time I was in Goa…”

“Duck, I’m sure it’s fascinating, but I have to get back to Tony.”

“I understand, another time maybe?”

“Of course.” With that, he hung up the phone and headed back to Tony’s room, ready to share the results of his tests with him and let him know what he’d discovered on his trip to the Navy Yard.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Tony was still sleeping when Gibbs arrived back in the room, so he took his seat and downed the rest of the semi-warm coffee. He rested his feet on the edge of Tony’s bed and the movement caused him to wake.

“Whas…what?” he asked, not really making much sense.

“It’s okay, Tony, it’s just me, you can go back to sleep,” Gibbs reassured him.

“No, it’s okay, boss, I’m awake. What did the doc say? Do I have a brain?” Tony asked, opening his eyes and yawning as he spoke.

“You do, have pictures of it to prove it now,” Gibbs told him. Even though Tony was joking around, he knew that it was something serious by Gibbs’ body language and the fact that the man hadn’t offered anything voluntarily.

“What’s wrong with me, Gibbs?” Tony asked, seriously.

“They found some damage to your brain, Tony. The first seizure was caused by the build up of toxins in your body from your kidneys going into failure and the other two that happened after you arrested were caused by the lack of oxygen to your brain during the arrest. It’s minimal, but it does mean that you could have seizures for the rest of your life. Dr. Foster has started you on some medication and Ducky says it usually works well for people in your situation, but we’ll have to wait and see. A neurologist is going to come and see you when you’re in a private room to check that you’re coping okay with the medication,” Gibbs explained.

“What about work? Will I be able to come back as an active Field Agent if I have seizures?”

“Ducky thinks so, he’s going to double check the medical guidelines, but he doesn’t see any reason why you shouldn’t be allowed to return as long as the seizures are controlled by the medication. You won’t be allowed to drive for until you haven’t had a seizure for six months, but we’ll let Ziva or McGee do the driving for a change.”

“There’s more, isn’t there?” Tony asked, trying to stay calm, but failing because he was worried about what else Gibbs had to tell him.

“You might need a kidney transplant if your kidneys don’t start working on their own soon. If that’s the case, you’ll need dialysis three times a week and you won’t be allowed to be an active field agent, it’ll be desk duty or nothing.”

“Oh, God.”

“Tony, there’s more.”

“How could there be more?”

“They’re going to remove the external pacemaker tomorrow to see if your heart has recovered, there’s a chance that you’ll need a permanent pacemaker to keep your heart beeping at a normal rhythm.”

“How does that effect my chances of coming back to work?”

“I don’t know, Dr. Foster only just mentioned it, I haven’t really had a chance to talk to Ducky about it yet, but he’s checking the medical guidelines tonight and coming in tomorrow morning for when they detach your external pacemaker so he’ll be able to answer any concerns then.”

“I need to know, Gibbs,” Tony asked, sounding desperate. “I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, but my job is my life! If I don’t have that then I don’t have anything.”

“You have me.”

“And what good am I to you as a usual, seizing cripple?”

“Hey, now, don’t talk like that.”

“It’s true, Gibbs. I made one mistake…ONE and my life may be over because of it…if I didn’t feel like killing myself before, I sure do now.”

Gibbs stood up suddenly and leaned in so that his face was millimeters away from Tony’s. “Do NOT talk like that, you’re worth so much more than you think you are. Just because a few of things may be different than they were before means nothing about the state of your life. If you can’t be an active Field Agent, you can do something else. I will not let you let this beat you, let him beat you, do you understand me?”

Tony was so shocked that he just nodded.

“I love you, Tony. I loved you before this and I’ll love you after this, but you can’t just give up, that’s not the Tony I know. The Tony I know would fight against this, would beat the plague even though he had a 15% chance of survival. You’ve beaten the odds before, you can do it again.”

“I know.”

“Come here,” Gibbs said, pulling Tony in for a hug. “It’ll be okay, Tony. Just you wait and see.”

~*~

It was late, but Ziva was determined to finish the sketch before she went home, she had worked on many ‘rough’ drafts, but was not pleased with the result, still she kept hold of them to show Tony in case they resembled his attacker in anyway.

McGee had left with Abby an hour ago, he’d typed up Tony’s statement and it was in a folder, ready to be taken to the hospital with them in the morning for Tony to sign, if only she could get this sketch to go right, then she could go home and get some sleep too. After all she was surviving on about two hours of sleep as it stood.

She held the piece of paper out at arms length so that she could get a good look at it and decided that along with the other versions of the description Tony had given, it would do. She gathered them all up, put them on McGee’s desk, along with the statement and headed to the elevator.

When it opened, she saw the Director - it seemed she wasn’t the only one staying late on a Monday evening.

“Ziva,” the Director said.

“Director,” Ziva replied, giving her a little nod.

“What has you staying so late?” the Director asked.

“I was working on the sketch of Tony’s attacker. I had to do about five of them to get the right look from his description.”

“Have you heard from the hospital? How’s Tony doing?”

“He seemed fine when we saw him earlier. McGee, Abby and I went to take his statement. A little pale and there were a lot of computers attached to him.”

“I think you mean ‘monitors’ that will keep a check on his heart rate and everything?”

“Yes, monitors, he had a lot of them, one that made his chest twitch, but Ducky told me that that one is coming off tomorrow morning.”

“When are you next going to see him?”

“Tomorrow. We will go with Ducky and wait for the medical stuff to be over with before showing Tony the sketches and his statement for him to confirm if he knows who attacked him,” Ziva told her.

“Please, pass on my love to him.”

“I will, Director.”

“Good night, Ziva,” the Director said, as the doors opened on the parking garage.

“Good night, Director,” Ziva replied, making her way to her own car. She hoped that when she saw Tony the following day, he’d look less pale and better than he had when she’d seen him earlier. She checked her watch - it was near enough midnight and she woke at 5am every day to work out before work, she wasn’t going to get much sleep that night either.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Tony slept most of the night, meaning that Gibbs could grab his requisite four hours sleep while Tony was out of it. The rest of the night he spent talking to the nice nurse, who again brought him coffee from their staff room and not the cafeteria.

“How’s your friend doing today?” she asked, when she brought Gibbs his third cup of coffee for the night.

“We found out that he’s got some brain damage because of his arrest yesterday, which means he’ll have seizures for the rest of his life. They started him on a drug that apparently - well according to our M.E. - works wonders. I forget the name, begins with a Pheno-something. Anyway, we’re hoping that despite this, he’ll be able to return as an active Field Agent.”

“Oh, you mean, Dilantin. Yeah, it works well in seizure disorders. I hear that they’re planning on removing the pacemaker in the morning?” the nurse - whose name Gibbs still hadn’t gotten - said.

“Yeah, we’re crossing everything that he won’t need a permanent one.”

“I’ll light a candle for him at St. Mary’s. I lit one this morning after I left because he’s such a nice young man, and to have been violated in such a horrible way,” she shuddered, “it doesn’t bear thinking about.”

“We managed to take a statement this afternoon and we have one of our agents working on a sketch to go on the BOLO, so we should catch up with him soon.”

“Good, I hope you put him away, where he deserves to be,” the nurse stated, adamant that this man receive punishment.

“I should let you get back to work. I’m sure you have other patients sicker than Tony to check up on,” Gibbs said, agreeing wholeheartedly that whoever had attacked and raped Tony should be punished, though he wasn’t sure she would agree with his definition of punishment as it was sure to be different than most peoples. That man had hurt the man he loved in the most horrific way and Tony was going to have a long recovery because of his actions after the attack. If Gibbs had his way, then the person responsible would suffer as much as Tony had, if not more.

The nurse smiled at Gibbs, “I do have to check on some other patients, but you let me know when you need more coffee. I suppose it’s redundant of me to ask you to sleep?”

“I’ve already had my usual four hours, I’ve survived on less when I was in the Marines and I don’t generally sleep for long at home - my job is very demanding and my body has adapted accordingly,” Gibbs explained.

“Well, I’m sure our paths will cross again during the night, let me know if Tony needs anything. Nice talking with you, Agent Gibbs.” The nurse gave him another smile and turned and left him alone in the room with only the sound of the monitors for company.

He got himself comfortable in his chair, with his feet on the edge of Tony’s bed, and sipped his coffee. He probably should have picked up a book from home or some paperwork from the office to keep him occupied while Tony slept. Gibbs didn’t like to be doing nothing, it felt like he was wasting time. There was nothing he could do about that now though.

So, he sat and watched Tony breathe in and out, his chest twitching with every beat of the pacemaker. He hoped that tomorrow would bring them some good news, tell them that Tony’s mistake hadn’t caused damage to his precious heart as well. It was bad enough that it had caused a minimal amount of brain damage - not enough to show, but enough to cause a life-long seizure disorder.

Watching Tony’s chest rise, fall and twitch was rather hypnotic and had Gibbs not had several cups of coffee and a warm one in his grasp, he probably would have fallen asleep, sat there, watching him.

~*~

Gibbs managed to nap once or twice through the night so that by the time Tony woke on Tuesday morning, he was ready for anything. He’d had the chance to talk to Maria - the nice nurse with the coffee had finally told him her name - when she wasn’t busy with other patients and she’d come to check and note down Tony’s vitals in his chart more than once through the night

“Good morning, boss. Did you get any sleep last night?” Tony asked, when he’d finished stretching, trying to avoid moving his bad shoulder or his neck too much. They were obviously sore points for Tony.

“I got my required four hours and managed to nap some in the early hours. I’m ready for the day ahead, question is, are you?” Gibbs replied, sitting forward in the chair so that he was looking at Tony.

“I don’t know, a bit nervous, I guess.”

“Ducky should be here soon, try not to worry, I’m sure it’ll all turn out fine.”

“I wish I had as much faith as you do,” Tony said, laughing nervously.

Before Gibbs could reply, Ducky appeared at the door. “Good morning, Jethro, Anthony. Good to see you looking much better, Anthony. I left Ziva and McGee in the waiting area, they’re here for you to look at some sketches and sign your statement, I take it that’s okay?” Ducky said, entering the room and standing at the end of the bed.

“Of course, they’ll have to wait until the doc says it’s okay though.”

“I’m sure they won’t mind, after all once this is done, it’ll put you one step closer to catching that bastard.”

“I sure hope so, Duck,” Gibbs said. They all fell silent as they waited for Dr. Foster to appear with his entourage to remove the external pacemaker and see if there was need for a permanent pacemaker because of any damage the Vicodin may have done.

They didn’t have to wait long, Dr. Foster arrived about ten minutes after Ducky had and wasted no time in heading to Tony’s room - followed by a group of nurses, one of which was towing the crash cart behind them.

“Good morning, everyone,” Dr. Foster said. “We ready to get that pacemaker off and see how it goes?”

“Yeah,” Tony replied. Gibbs said nothing and nodded his head towards the crash cart, the presence of which was worrying Gibbs and Tony.

“This is just in case anything goes wrong, I want it close by so that we are able to work on Tony the very second we need to, it’s just there for safety, try not to concentrate on it, okay?” Dr. Foster explained.

Gibbs nodded again and moved from his chair to stand beside Ducky so that the doctor and nurses were close enough to work on Tony should they need to. He was nervous as anything, the only situation he’d been in that had made him this nervous was when Kelly was born and the doctors decided Shannon needed help with delivering their daughter into the world. He pushed that thought from his mind, right now he needed to focus on Tony and what was going on with him.

Dr. Foster motioned for the nurse closest to the monitor to slowly lowering the pacemaker’s interference with Tony’s body. They all watched the monitor as the machine was lowered and lowered until it was finally switched off. Gibbs let out a breath as he watched the number stay at 90. It seemed that Tony’s heart could cope without the external pacemaker.

It all went wrong quickly, Tony started complaining that he couldn’t breathe and his arm hurt, and Dr. Foster started to listen to his chest, when the monitor started to sound its alarm and everyone else jumped into action.

The nurse adjusted the amount of oxygen Tony was getting through the mask, whilst another took some blood from Tony’s arm. Dr. Foster was telling Tony to concentrate on breathing, whilst ordering a nurse to get the ECG machine so that they could do a tracing of Tony’s heart.

The pain was their main concern and Tony was given his first lot of painkillers since his arrival two days ago, they pushed morphine through his IV to ease his discomfort so that he’d be still for the ECG. Gibbs couldn’t think of anything else but looking at the monitor and watching Tony’s heart struggle to beat.

“He’s bradycardic, doctor,” one of the nurses said.

“Okay, okay, we need to get him back on the pacemaker, do the ECG quickly and then I want to capture and raise to 90,” Dr. Foster ordered.

Wires were place on Tony’s chest and an ECG was done and then Ducky watched as they restarted the external pacemaker. He was taking note of everything that was done so that he could explain it to Gibbs later if the doctor was too busy to.

Once the pacemaker was started back up, the alarm on the monitor silenced itself and Tony started to feel marginally better. The room emptied slowly, and soon it was just a nurse, Dr Foster, Ducky, Gibbs and Tony.

“What happened?” Gibbs asked Dr. Foster.

The doctor was looking at the trace of Tony’s heart and was engrossed in checking that before he looked up and answered Gibbs’ question. “I’m afraid that Tony’s heart was too damaged by the overdose for it to function without the pacemaker, we’ll need to insert one permanently. I’ll arrange for that to be done within the next few days. He’s out of danger now that we’ve restarted the external one so it’s not an emergency, but if his condition changes we’ll book him in for emergency surgery. I’m afraid he’ll be staying in the ICU until the surgery though.”

“How are you feeling, Tony?” Gibbs asked.

“Like a truck just sat on my chest,” Tony replied, still taking deep, long breaths of the oxygen.

“Yes, you’ll feel like that for a few hours until your muscles have a chance to relax, you were close to having a heart attack. The morphine should help ease any discomfort though,” Dr. Foster said. “I’ll be back to check on you later and run another ECG.” The doctor gave Tony a smile and left him alone with his two friends.

“Does this mean I need to start looking for another job?” Tony asked, sounding sorrowful.

Gibbs looked at Ducky. He had no idea what this meant for Tony and whether or not he could be an active Field Agent with not only a seizure disorder, but a pacemaker as well.

“I checked the medical guidelines and so long as your physician declares you fit to work, NCIS has no problems with you returning as a full time, active Field Agent,” Ducky told him, with a smile on his face.

“Thank God,” Tony breathed, then lay back on his pillows to try and get some rest, hopefully soon his chest would stop feeling so crushed and he’d be able to actually celebrate the fact that he hadn’t totally fucked up his life.

Chapter Twenty-Four

They left Ziva and McGee in the waiting room until Tony was given the all clear by the second ECG that said he hadn’t had a heart attack - which brought great relief to them all.

Once it had been established that Tony was, once again, stable, and all they could do was wait for an opening on the surgery schedule for him to have his pacemaker put in, they sent Ducky back to the waiting area to collect McGee and Ziva. Gibbs told him to explain what had happened and why it had taken them so long to ask for them.

While they were alone, Tony looked at Gibbs, “Are you sure you want to get involved with someone who caused their own medical problems?”

“Tony, I love you, whether your heart beats of its own accord or if it need electrical stimulation, I don’t care, so long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters.”

“You realise there’s a chance that we won’t catch whoever did this to me,” Tony said, half whispering, so as not to annoy Gibbs with his statement. He half hoped Gibbs hadn’t heard him.

“Tony, if I have to go to the ends of the earth and back, I will find this guy and make him pay for what he did to you. The fact that he knew which shoulder was hurt, makes me think that he knew you and hopefully, when Ziva shows you the sketches, you’ll recognise him and we’ll be able to put a name to the face and track him down and question the son of a bitch and if he’s the one, arrest his ass and send him to Levenworth.”

Before Tony could say anything more, Ducky, McGee and Ziva appeared in the doorway. Ducky walked in and took his place at the end of Tony’s bed, looking at him in a way only the old M.E. could, whilst Ziva and McGee were slower to enter the room, as if they were waiting for permission from their boss to enter.

“Come on in, McGee, Ziva, we’ve not got long as it’s still ICU visiting hours and Tony is due dialysis shortly, so you might as well make the most of the time we’ve got,” Gibbs said, finally.

They both entered the small room. Ziva took her place in the chair by Tony’s bed that Abby had occupied on their previous visit. Had it only been yesterday? Tony didn’t look any better, at least according to Ziva. McGee stood by Ducky trying to avoid looking at his friend - who in his opinion looked worse than he had the day before.

“Sorry for making you wait, you guys, but the doctor gave me what turned out to be a near heart attack and that takes some recovering from, if you get what I mean,” Tony told them, trying to lighten the mood. It was obvious that Ducky had explained what had happened and they both had realised just how sick Tony was still, despite the fact that it had been over forty-eight hours since the overdose and that he was awake and talking. He still had a long way to go as far as recovery was concerned.

“It is fine, Tony, we understand,” Ziva said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the room. Everyone seemed to be in their own little worlds following the news that Tony needed a permanent pacemaker and none of them were concentrating on why they were really there - to find out if Tony knew his attacker.

“Probie, don’t you have something for me to sign?” Tony asked, waking McGee from his thoughts.

“Sure…erm…I think Ziva has it, but I typed up your statement and all I need is for you to read through it and sign it if you agree with it,” McGee replied, realising that he needed to focus all his energy on solving this case and not on the what might have beens as far as Tony’s health was concerned. Sure, he could have died, but the important thing was that he hadn’t and that was what they should all focus on.

Ziva flicked through the folder she was holding that held the statement as well as copies of all her sketches, she found the appropriate piece of paper and handed it to Tony to read through. She then went through her purse looking for a pen that he could use.

Tony read through the statement, nodding his head as he agreed with the phrasing McGee had used, then he took the pen Ziva was holding out and signed it on the bottom, before handing it back to McGee to hold onto whilst Ziva showed him the sketches.

“I made several different sketches from the description you gave me, Tony,” Ziva said, holding out a wad of papers that had all the various outcomes on them. “I wanted to make sure I got the right description because there could have been many different people made from what you told us.”

She went to hand them to Tony, but Gibbs interceded, noticing how tired Tony was. “I’ll take these and have him look at them when he’s less tired. How does that sound?”

“Fine, Gibbs, whatever you think is best,” Ziva replied.

Tony leaned back onto his pillows and tried to hide a yawn from his guests, but failed at it miserably.

“The excitement this morning seems to have worn you out, my dear boy,” Ducky said, noticing the yawn. “I think it’s best if we all head back to NCIS and leave you and Gibbs to get some sleep.”

“I’ll walk you all out, want to ask you something, Ducky. Is that okay, Tony?” Gibbs said.

“Sure thing, I’ll be here, sleeping most likely,” Tony replied closing his eyes as sleep rushed to claim him.

Ziva leaned over and said something in Hebrew before placing a gentle kiss on Tony’s forehead. McGee said nothing as he followed Ducky out of the room, soon to be joined by Gibbs and Ziva. Gibbs gave them both a look and they walked ahead to give Gibbs some privacy as he spoke to the M.E.

“What is it I can do for you, Jethro?” Ducky asked, matching Gibbs’ slow pace.

“Is it okay to leave him on the external pacemaker when he needs a permanent one or is it an emergency? I mean, does he need the surgery done sooner than they’re letting on?” Gibbs asked, obviously worried for his agent and his lover.

“I imagine the young doctor weighed up both the pros and cons before he made the decision to wait. You have to remember that not twenty-four hours ago, Tony was in a critical condition on a ventilator and they have to be sure his body has recovered from the overdose before risking a surgery that could be put off for a few days. I imagine if he thought that Tony’s life was in immediate danger, he would have arranged for the surgery to happen today. Also, if it becomes an issue, they’ll move it up. Try not to worry, Jethro and make sure you get plenty of sleep. Anthony will need you both physically and emotionally during his recovery so you’ll need to be at your best. Try not to stress him out demanding he place anyone he recognises in Ziva’s sketches - I know you want to find who attacked Tony, but forcing him into another seizure is not going to do that,” Ducky said, trying to ease some of the worry.

“About that, is he really going to be able to be an active Field Agent if his seizures are brought on by stress?”

“That’s something to be brought up with his prescribing physician, not me. If it were me, I would say that as long as Tony has a way for dealing with his stress and not bottling it up, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Okay.”

“What else is bothering you, Jethro?”

“I’m worried that the Director will take his overdose and the medical conditions he’s gained because of it - the seizure disorder and the need for a permanent pacemaker and use it all as an excuse to retire Tony on medical grounds,” Gibbs admitted to his friend.

“Why would she do that?”

“Well, for one she’s not happy about the amount of time off I’ve taken to care for Tony and for another, ever since that Benoit incident, she’s looked for any excuse to declare Tony incompetent, she doesn’t like that he fell in love with the girl and basically lost her her chance to catch ‘The Frog’.”

“I think you judge her too harshly. She, like the rest of us, has been worried about Tony ever since this happened and has gone out of her way to make it clear that as far as she is concerned your team has no other case than catching the bastard that raped Tony. Maybe she just has difficulty in expressing how she feels around you.”

“Maybe. My gut tells me it’s something more though.”

“Ah, your famous gut. Well, maybe for once it’s just indigestion you’re feeling and not anything more sinister.

“Okay, Duck, I’ll go with that and give her a chance. I better let you get off and get back to Tony.” Gibbs shook Ducky’s outstretched hand and turned back in the direction of Tony’s room.

When he got there, he could see that Tony was in some kind of trouble, he was breathing hard and fast, his heart rate climbing enough that it had alerted the nurse looking after him. She entered shortly after Gibbs and started to check everything to see what was going on to cause Tony such distress.

On his bed were the sketches that Ziva had drawn, grasped in his hand was one that Gibbs could not quite make out. He took long steps across the room until he was at Tony’s side.

“Tony, what is it? You need to calm down, you’re going to induce another seizure.”

“It’s him, Gibbs.”

“Who?”

“The man who raped me.”

Chapter Twenty-Five

“Calm down, Tony. Take some deep breaths and slow down your breathing,” Gibbs said, whilst reeling with shock at Tony’s admission that he recognised the man who raped him from one of Ziva’s sketches. Once he had Tony calm he was going to fax the picture to NCIS HQ and get them to add it to the BOLO and also run facial recognition software on it over any active and closed cases that Tony had dealt with recently.

“It’s him, Gibbs,” Tony said, again, trying to slow his breathing. The nurse that had been alerted by Tony’s increasing heartbeat stood back and let the older man calm his friend. The only thing she could do was sedate him and she sensed that that wouldn’t be appropriate at that moment in time.

“I know, Tony and I will catch him, but right now you have to concentrate on calming down,” Gibbs told him, taking the drawing from between Tony’s fingers and setting it to one side to be dealt with later.

It took ten minutes for Tony to calm down enough for his heart rate to be back within the safe range; Gibbs spent the time, rubbing his thumb over the back of Tony’s hand to let him know he was there with him. Tony struggled to slow his breathing, but eventually got to a place where he could breathe slower and his heart rate came down accordingly.

Once he was sure that Tony was out of danger, Gibbs sat down in the chair by Tony’s bed and grabbed the sketch that had started it all.

“Are you sure this is him?” Gibbs asked, wanting to get as much information out of Tony as possible before sending the picture and any information he could gather by fax to NCIS HQ where he knew Ziva and McGee would deal with it accordingly. They needed to put a name to the face and to do that they would have to add it to the BOLO as well as running it through the facial recognition program that might tell them how he knew Tony, if he knew Tony and would explain how he’d known which shoulder to press on to keep Tony still.

“I’m sure, I recognise the eyes, and they’ll haunt me till the day I die. I’m sure, Gibbs,” Tony replied.

“Okay, Tony, I believe you. Look, I need to get this faxed over to Ziva and McGee and make a phone call, are you going to be alright if I leave you for a few minutes to do that?” Gibbs asked, not wanting to leave Tony if he was only going to get worked up again.

Tony nodded and settled back on his pillows, closing his eyes. It looked to Gibbs that maybe he would get the sleep he’d been planning on having before he looked at the sketches. He waited a few moments until Tony’s breathing had evened out and he was sure that Tony was asleep before grabbing the sketch and heading out to find a fax machine he could use.

He ended up at the nurses’ station, where there were two nurses talking about a patient, he waited for them to finish their conversation - not wanting to appear rude by interrupting them ��" even though, he was desperate to get the ball rolling with tracking down the suspect.

“How can I help, Agent Gibbs?” one of the nurses asked once she’d finished talking with her colleague who had disappeared to deal with the patient they had been discussing.

“I wondered if it would be possible for me to use your fax machine and your phone to send something to my team. I wouldn’t ask, but it is of utmost importance,” Gibbs said.

“You can use the fax machine, but only for a local call. Is it a local call?”

“Yes, I need to send something to NCIS HQ in the Navy Yard.”

“That’s fine then. What do you need sent?”

“This,” Gibbs said, holding out the sketch, he’d written some notes on the bottom, which he wasn’t sure would go through which was why he planned to call McGee and tell him what to do.

The nurse took the piece of paper and put it in the fax machine, asked for the number, which Gibbs gave and she dialed before pressing the send button. So the fax was on its way.

“Can I use your phone to call my people about that fax?” Gibbs asked.

“Sure, just dial ‘9’ for an outside line.” Gibbs obeyed and dialed the number for McGee’s phone, hoping that despite it not being long since they left the hospital that they were back already. He wanted the sketch on the BOLO as soon as physically possible, as well as them working on giving a name to the face on the sketch. They finally had something they could work with and there was no way he was waiting on this.

“McGee?” Gibbs said when the phone was answered.

“Yes, boss,” McGee replied. He sounded out of breath, probably because he’d run from the elevator to his desk to pick up the ringing phone.

“I just sent you a fax. It’s a copy of one of the sketches Ziva left for Tony to go through. It’s our guy. I want his face on the BOLO, I want you to get together with Abby and run it through facial recognition software to see if it matches anyone who Tony has come into contact with recently. I want Ziva to go through recent cases and find anyone with a grudge against Tony and I want it all done now,” Gibbs told him.

“Of course, boss,” McGee said. “I’ll get on it now.” Gibbs said nothing more and hung up on the still talking agent. He didn’t need to know what else they had to say unless it pertained to Tony’s case. They were finally getting somewhere and soon the son of a bitch who’d attacked and raped Tony was going to be in their custody and boy, was he going to wish he’d never crossed one of Gibbs’ people.

Gibbs went back to Tony’s room and found the young agent still sleeping, with the beep of the monitors lulling him into a sense of security. He took his normal seat and looked at the sketch of the man who’d raped Tony.

“I’m going to get you and I will make you pay for what you did to my agent, I promise you that,” he said to the sketch, before putting it behind him, leaning back and closing his eyes to catch a nap whilst Tony slept.

~*~

McGee grabbed the fax from the machine and headed over to Ziva’s desk. “Gibbs just called and sent though this. It’s one of the sketches you left with Tony, he recognised him as the guy who attacked him. He wants us to put it on the BOLO, which I’ll do in a moment, as well as run it through facial recognition software to try and put a name to the face. He wants you to go through all of Tony’s recent cases and see if there is anyone with a grudge that matches this description and stands out. Gibbs is working on the assumption that whoever attacked Tony knew he had an injured shoulder and used that knowledge to get Tony on the ground. I’ll be in Abby’s lab if you need me,” he told her, passing on all the information he had gotten from Gibbs.

He took a photocopy of the sketch before heading to Abby’s lab and gave it to Ziva for her so that she had an idea of who they were looking for. Once he updated the BOLO, he went down to Abby’s lab and explained everything to her.

“This is great, we finally have a break in Tony’s case,” Abby said, booting up her facial recognition program. “If we narrow this down to a suspect we can run his DNA against what we found in Tony’s rape kit. Then we’ll have the sucker!”

“We’ve still got a long way to go until we have a suspect, Abs.”

“I reckon we should bring in anyone who matches this sketch, even if the software brings up several different matches.”

“I think that’s what Gibbs’ plan was. Though, if he plans to do the interviews he’s going to have to leave Tony alone at the hospital and I don’t think he wants to do that - especially after what happened this morning.”

“What happened?”

“They tried to take Tony off the pacemaker, but his heart was too damaged, he nearly had a full blown heart attack and now he’s awaiting surgery to have a permanent one fitted.”

Abby slapped McGee around the back of the head. “And you didn’t tell me? I should have been there, I could have gone with you!” she exclaimed.

“I’m sorry, Abs, I didn’t think.”

“No, you didn’t. Now, enough of that, I can check on Tony later. First I have to work my magic on this sketch. Watch and learn, McGee, watch and learn.” Abby scanned the sketch into the computer and started to format it so that it would be recognised by the software and then she set about highlighting the features so that they would get the best match from the system. Lord knows, they needed all the help they could get.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Abby and McGee sat watching the program work its way through the various cases that the team had worked over the last year. They’d decided on a year because they didn’t want to go too far back and search through too many faces, but at the same time they didn’t want to only go back a few weeks and miss someone vitally important, so they had decided on a year and so far it had come up with five matches, all cases that Tony had been involved in so they at least had a list of viable suspects to start with.

“I think I should call Gibbs and tell him we’ve got five suspects to start with and see what he wants me to do,” McGee said, breaking the silence that had fallen over the lab.

“You just don’t want to sit here with me, doing the boring part of the job,” Abby told him.

“It’s not that Abs, I just…we need to start tracking this guy down before he gets wind of the fact that Tony has given us a pretty good description and we know what he looks like.”

“You make it sound like he tried to kill Tony, it’s not like he knew that raping him would make Tony take an overdose,” Abby told him, trying to get him to see how stupid he sounded.

“Yeah, but what if he heard that Tony did. I mean, he knew which shoulder of Tony’s was injured so he must have some idea what goes on in Tony’s life, how do we know that he doesn’t know that Tony took an overdose and nearly died?”

“Because he’s probably not the criminal mastermind you make him out to be. He’s probably some drug user looking for a way to score some cash.”

“That would make sense if he’d mugged Tony, but he didn’t. Tony’s cash was left untouched and he had every opportunity to take it, but he didn’t. Also, if he was going to mug Tony, why rape him first?”

“Sounds like you have a lot of questions but not many answers, McGee.”

“Exactly, which is why I think I should call Gibbs.”

“You know he can’t use his phone in the ICU, too many monitors.”

“Then how do I get in touch with him?”

“You don’t. You wait for it to spew out every match, then you and Ziva go through how many of them have alibis or were out of town or whatever and when you’ve narrowed it down, then you call Gibbs, that is if he hasn’t called first.”

“That doesn’t solve the problem of how we call him.”

“Simple, you call Bethesda and ask to be put through to their ICU and one of the nurses will get Gibbs for you.”

“Then why can’t I call him now?”

“Because he’ll just tell you to do what I just said and be pissed that you didn’t think of it and then you’ll have to call him again when you’ve done it. Might as well show some initiative, Timmy and do it all first,” Abby said, smiling as the program kicked out yet another match.

“Fine, I’ll do it your way,” McGee agreed, thinking that she was probably right and it was best not to annoy Gibbs right now, not when he was already on edge because of Tony.

They both sat and watched the program as it sped through the faces of potential suspects, hoping that soon it would be done and then the real work could begin.

~*~

Whilst Abby and McGee were doing their thing in the lab, Ziva was going through the case files that Tony had worked recently, looking for anyone who may have held a grudge. She’d gone back a year - the same distance as Abby and McGee - because anything before then had seemed to long to hold a grudge and then act and also because the shoulder injury was a recent thing that only a handful of people knew about. That was unless Tony had a stalker or something, but she didn’t think that was possible.

As a trained NCIS agent, Tony would have realised he was being followed or stalked and he would have mentioned it long before he was raped. He also would have recognised whoever raped him immediately, not from a sketch that Ziva had produced from a description Tony gave - a vague description at that.

She looked over case after case and managed to compile a list of potential suspects, which she planned to cross reference with the list that Abby’s program complied and see if there were any matches. She knew that they had a lot of work ahead of them and that it would probably be a late night as they worked to track down and confirm alibis and anyone who could have been Tony’s attacker.

She knew for sure that it was someone who had known about the injury Tony obtained from his last case before he took sick leave because of the way they had manipulated that knowledge to keep Tony on the ground whilst they raped him. Ziva shuddered at the thought of it. She couldn’t imagine being violated in such a way with no way of fighting back. She was a born fighter, had been since she was young and in some ways still did in her every day life, but being held down and raped and knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop it? She knew that if it had happened to her, she probably would have reacted the same way Tony had - by trying to take her own life.

She had been working for three hours when she next looked up to see McGee walking towards her desk. In his hand was a printout that held the names of those suspects that had matched on the facial recognition software. It was more a case of hit and miss as it had been a sketch and not a photograph or film.

“How’s it going, Ziva?” McGee asked. “Abby and I managed to pull off fifteen possibles, what about you?”

“I went back a year and found five possibilities. I guess we need to cross check our lists to see if they are any repeats?” Ziva replied.

“That sounds like a good plan. I’ll also check and see if we have any hits on the BOLO,” McGee said, heading over to his desk to look on his computer. There were none. “No hits, but I guess we were hoping for too much when we thought someone might have seen him and brought him in already.”

“Where do we start?” Ziva asked, disappointed by the lack of activity on the BOLO.

“From the top I guess.” Ziva got up and pulled her chair over to McGee’s desk so that they could work with both lists and narrow down their suspect field. Once they were done with that, they would have to investigate every possible suspect and see if they had an alibi, were in the area in question two nights ago and if they held any grudge against Tony or would have known about his injury. It was going to be a long night.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

After working at it for several hours, they managed to narrow down the list of potential suspects to five. Two were Petty Officers that had had contacts involved in a drug bust two weeks before Tony was shot. Two were Marines who had been material witnesses to a murder a week before Tony was shot and one was a civilian who had been involved in the case where Tony was shot. McGee thought that the last one was the most likely candidate as he must have known that when the deal went down, Tony had been injured.

It was decided that Ziva would call Gibbs while McGee arranged the warrants for DNA samples from all five suspects. She dialed the number for Bethesda.
“Good Evening, Bethesda Naval Hospital, how may I direct your call?” the voice said, when it picked up.

“Good Evening, I need to speak to someone in the ICU, please,” Ziva replied. Being as polite as possible so that no one inhibited her quest to speak with Gibbs.

“I’ll just put you through.” There was a beep, then silence before the phone started to ring again.

“Good Evening, ICU, how may I help you?” a voice finally said.

“Hello, I need to speak to Special Agent Gibbs, he is with a patient, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo,” Ziva explained.

“One moment, I’ll just get him for you. Can I ask who’s calling?”

“Officer David.”

“Thank you.”

Once again there was silence on the end of the telephone while Ziva waited for Gibbs to come to the phone. “Gibbs,” was all he said when he did.

“Gibbs, it is Ziva.”

“I know that Ziva, they told me who was on the phone, why are you calling?”

“We’ve managed to narrow down the suspect list to five possibles, two Petty Officers, two Marines and a civilian. All have been involved with cases that Tony was active in. McGee is getting a warrant so we can collect DNA from them and test it against the DNA from Tony’s rape kit.”

“Good work. If you have any trouble, you call me and I’ll come and deal with it.”

“I doubt we will, we will have warrants to back us up and anyone who does not wish to give us DNA will only be doing so because they have something to hide and I am sure with a little gentle persuasion, I can convince them to part with a sample.”

“Just remember that whatever you do has to hold up in court. I don’t want Tony’s attacker getting off on a technicality.”

“Of course, Gibbs. How is Tony?”

“It looks like he’ll be having surgery tomorrow morning. The doctor is worried about the latest EKG results.”

“Pass on our love.”

“Will do. I have to go back to him now.” Gibbs hung up then, not waiting for Ziva’s reply. She stared at the phone for a while, and then replaced the receiver. She cared for Tony in her own way and was worried about him - nothing had gone right for him since the night of his attack.

First, the rape, then the overdose, which caused the seizure disorder and now the need for a permanent pacemaker. She said a silent prayer in Hebrew that once he came through the surgery, his recovery would be fast and without setbacks.

~*~

Gibbs hurried back to Tony’s room, he hadn’t wanted to leave the man’s side when the nurse had said there was a phone call for him, but when she’d told him who it was he’d known he had to take it and he was glad he had. His team were getting closer and closer to finding whoever did this to Tony and that made him feel slightly better.

He just wished that Tony was looking better, feeling better than he was right now. It had all started just after he’d woken up from his nap to find Tony gasping for breath, he’d called the nurse who in turn had called Dr. Foster who had ordered an EKG.

That had shown that Tony’s heart was not beating properly even with the help of the external pacemaker, which meant that they had to fit the permanent one soon. Dr. Foster had made some calls and arranged for Tony to go down to surgery tomorrow morning at 5am, it was likely he would return to the ICU afterwards and be watched for a few hours before they made the decision on whether or not he was stable enough to be moved into a private room.

Gibbs wanted him in a private room, that way he would know that Tony was recovering from the overdose. The whole time he’d been in the ICU everything seemed to have gone wrong. He’d developed brain damage, he’d damaged his heart. All things that were a direct result of the Vicodin overdose, but Gibbs didn’t blame Tony for that, he blamed his attacker for pushing Tony over the edge.

Tony was now receiving his third dialysis treatment, which would do the job of his kidneys, which thankfully were showing signs of recovering from the massive amount of Vicodin that had been in his system. Dr. Foster had said that it was likely he would only need a couple more treatments and then they could stop and see how his kidneys coped, but the fact that between treatments Tony was producing urine on his own - and enough for them to be pleased about too - was a sign that his kidneys were not damaged permanently.

Dr. Foster was doing a second EKG on Tony when Gibbs entered the room. Tony was asleep, he usually slept through the dialysis treatments, for which Gibbs was thankful. He couldn’t imagine it was very comfortable having a tube in your carotid artery.

He waited until the doctor was finished before saying anything. “How’s it looking?”

“Not too good, I’m afraid. His heart is struggling to do its job alongside the pacemaker, which is only ever used for short term situations. He really needs to have a permanent one placed directly in his heart which should relieve some of the stress placed on the organ at the moment,” the doctor explained.

“Are you going to move the surgery forward?”

“I’m not sure, I’ll consult with a cardiologist and get him to have a look at Tony’s vitals and EKG’s since this started and see what he says. It’s not a problem if we do need to move it forward, I’ve notified the emergency team that I may have a case for them tonight so they’re prepared.”

Gibbs checked his watch, it was just after eight at night, which meant there were nine hours until Tony’s allotted surgery time. Could the man wait that long?

“When will you know?” Gibbs asked, worried for his partner. He wished that this hadn’t happened, and for the hundredth time that if it had, that Tony had called him, then all of this could have been avoided and he could be at home with his partner, making love to him slowly. He pushed those thoughts from his head, he couldn’t think about that, not now, not while Tony was so sick.

“I’ll call the consult now. I don’t want to leave it any longer. His EKG shows declined function from the last one and I don’t want to risk Tony going into full arrest. I’ll be back shortly,” Dr. Foster said, leaving the room with the strip of paper and heading to the nurses’ station to make his phone call.

Gibbs took his usual place, in the seat by Tony’s side. He’d learnt a lot about himself and the man lying next to him in the past forty-eight hours. He’d never thought that they would get together, that he’d be able to kiss and hold Tony in a way only a lover does, but here he was, in a relationship, with a co-worker and nobody seemed to care. It wasn’t like it had been in the Marines where there was a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. He’d never let on to anyone, but Shannon that he was bisexual and together they used to rate men. After she died he’d never felt close enough to any of his other wives to share that piece of information with them - something he was glad about come the divorce.

When he’d met Shannon, he’d told himself that he would never love anyone as much and as deeply as he’d loved her; it had felt like they were soul mates, destined to be together for the rest of their lives. Leaving them for active duty meant there was always a chance that he wouldn’t come back, but he’d never imagined that he’d come home to them not being there. He’d been right in a way though, because every one of his wives after her, he’d never felt the same connection, never felt as much or as deeply in love with them as he had with her and he felt like he was missing out on something so special, but that he’d missed his chance to live with it because Shannon had died with Kelly because he hadn’t been home to protect them.

When he met Tony and his feelings for him started to grow, he felt the same spark that he had felt with Shannon, and fell in love with the man from a distance - as much and as deeply as he had with her. Now though, he was being given the chance to live knowing that love, sharing that love with someone who, hopefully, felt the same way. Maybe people who said there was only one person for everyone in the world was wrong, because he’d found his soul mate in Shannon and after she’d been taken from him he’d never thought he’d feel the same way about anyone ever again, but here he was, revisiting those feelings with Tony - it was like finding your soul mate all over again.

Tony’s green eyes were looking at him when he went to look at his face. He was pale and sweating, the oxygen mask plastered to his face as he tried to take deep breaths but failed.

“What’s…going…on?” he asked, through gasps.

Gibbs took Tony’s hand and gave it a little squeeze. “The external pacemaker isn’t working as well as it should, you need one in your heart - a permanent one - Dr. Foster thought you could wait until morning, but it doesn’t look like that’ll be the case so he’s arranging the surgery now. Don’t worry, Tony, I’m here and I won’t leave you, I promise.”

“Sur..ger..y?”

“To have the pacemaker fitted, remember? We talked about it before they connected you to the dialysis machine.”

Tony tried to nod, then changed his mind when it jarred the tube in his neck. Gibbs hating seeing him like this and debated whether he should tell him what Ziva had said, after a moment’s thought, he decided it would give Tony some hope during his upcoming surgery.

“The team managed to narrow it down to five suspects, two Petty Officers, two Marines and a civilian, all related to recent cases. They’ve got warrants to collect their DNA and whoever matches is going down, I promise you that, Tony. You just concentrate on getting better,” Gibbs told him.

“I…remember…wasn’t…a…civi…lian,” Tony said, still gasping for every breath. Gibbs looked up to see Dr. Foster still on the phone and debating going out and getting him because it seemed to him that Tony was getting worse with every second that passed and the surgery could not wait any longer.

“How do you know?” Gibbs asked, trying to concentrate on what Tony was telling him.

“Was…in…uni…form,” Tony gasped out, before shutting his eyes.

“Tony, stay with me!” Gibbs half-shouted, shaking him a little. Tony opened his eyes and gave Gibbs a smile.

“Feels…like…chest…crushed…can’t…breathe.”

“It’s okay, Tony, I’m going to get the doctor.” Gibbs got up and headed to the door, opened it and yelled that Dr. Foster should get his ass in here before Tony coded. The doctor hung up the phone and quickly headed to Tony’s room.

Gibbs took his seat by Tony’s side as the doctor rang yet another EKG and upped the flow of oxygen.

“Pro…mise…me…you…inter…view…him,” Tony said to Gibbs. “Promise.”

“I will, I’ll do it while you’re in surgery, I promise Tony. Just stay with us.”

Dr. Foster’s face looked grim as he listened to Tony’s chest and checked the monitor. “He’s bradycardic despite the external pacemaker, press that buzzer twice and move out of the way,” he said to Gibbs, who did as he was told.

He stood back as nurses appeared from nowhere, watched as they put Tony to sleep and once again put a tube in his trachea so that they could breathe for him. The brakes were taken off the bed and porters appeared to push Tony out of the room, whilst another team of nurses pushed the dialysis machine and another kept breathing for Tony.

Dr. Foster looked at Gibbs, “I don’t have time to explain now, we have to get Tony to surgery and on bypass so we can give him a pacemaker. There’s a chance he won’t survive if we leave it any longer. You can wait here for him, but it’s going to be a while, probably won’t finish until the early hours of the morning,” he told Gibbs.

“Fine, just go!” Gibbs replied, more interested in the doctor following the bed than explaining things to him that could be explained once Tony was out of danger.

Once the ICU fell silent, Gibbs sank back into his chair and put his head in his hands, he couldn’t wait here for news, he was needed back at NCIS because Tony wanted him to be the one to interview the bastard responsible for this. He was going to keep that promise, so he stood up, told the nurses to call him the second there was news and headed out of the hospital.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Gibbs arrived at NCIS HQ at ten pm. He’d stopped at home to have a shower and change his clothes, having left his bag at the hospital in the rush to get out of the place, but get back in time to see Tony after his surgery.

He was surprised to see McGee and Ziva still at their desks, working through information on the case and they were very surprised to see him.

“Boss, what? What are you doing here? Is Tony okay?” McGee asked, sounding and looking rather nervous.

“I came to work the case. Tony wants me to be the one to question the suspects since he knows I can do it better than the pair of you with my hands tied behind my back and I think he thinks that Ziva will slip back to her Mossad training and kill the guy before we can get any answers. In answer to your other question, no, Tony is not okay, he was rushed into emergency surgery about ninety minutes ago.”

“Emergency surgery? What for?” Ziva asked, lifting her head at the sound of news on Tony’s condition.

“His heart was having difficulties so they’ve decided to fit the pacemaker tonight. He should be out in the early hours on the morning, at which time I would like to be back there. So, tell me what we have,” Gibbs told them, before sitting down behind his desk.

McGee and Ziva looked at each other, trying to egg the other one on to be the first to speak. In the end, Ziva sighed and started to tell Gibbs what they had managed to do so far. “We got DNA samples from everyone bar the two Marines, they refused on the grounds that it was a violation of their privacy. So, we brought them in to talk to. I guess you will want to do that. Abby is processing the other samples right now and will call us when she has some news.”

“Okay, I’m going to go and deal with these two Marines, Ziva with me. McGee, go and see if Abby needs your help with anything, we need those DNA results faster than usual,” Gibbs told them, standing up and heading to the elevator which would take them to the interrogation rooms. McGee managed to squeeze in, just as the elevator doors were closing.

Ziva followed Gibbs as he weaved his way through the corridors to interrogation room one. He stopped at the door that led to the room behind the two-way mirror and looked at the first Marine he was to interview. He doubted that either one of these men were Tony’s attacker, based on the fact that Tony had described them as skinny, like a drug addict and the first Marine behind the glass looked nothing like that. Maybe though, he was guilty of something else that would be proven with a DNA sample and did not wish to get caught, well he’d be giving that sample at some point in the next half hour - whether he liked it or not.

Gibbs nodded at Ziva to take notes and left one room to enter the main interrogation area.

“Good evening, Gunny,” he said, setting the tone as one of nothing serious. “Do you wish to relent now and give us your sample, because I have a warrant and that means I can use any means necessary to get that swab of your cheek.”

“It feels like a violation of my rights, sir,” the Gunny replied.

“You want to know what this is about?” Gibbs asked him.

“Of course, sir.”

“One of my team was raped by someone. I want that person to suffer as much as they have, you’re a suspect and the only way to prove to me that you didn’t rape them is to give me a sample of your DNA. I can rule you out, you can go home before two in the morning. How does that sound?” Gibbs asked. “Oh, and did I mention that my team member was male? You like that, Gunny, that get you all hot and bothered at the thought of a man being raped? Having his body violated in the worst possible way?”

“No, sir.”

“’Cause the only reason I can think of that you wouldn’t want to comply with this warrant is that you’re covering for someone or you did it yourself. Which is it?”

The Marine stayed silent. Gibbs stood up and banged his hands on the table, shouting “WHICH IS IT?”

Startled by Gibbs’ reaction, the Marine answered. “Neither, sir. You can have the sample.”

Ziva came through from the other room and took the sample from the now quivering Marine. “Thank you, you’re free to go. You might want to rethink your stance on your rights next time something like this happens, don’tcha think?”

“Yes, sir.” He was lead out by Ziva and passed off to a guard who would escort him out of the building and off the Navy Yard. The second Marine crumbled quicker under Gibbs’ interrogation - admitting that he’d had a record when he was younger and hadn’t wanted the Marines to know about it, he knew that a cheek swab would bring up his priors because they’d taken DNA then and had asked his buddy to refuse with him so that it didn’t look as suspicious.

They got his check swab and Gibbs, along with Ziva took them down to Abby for her to run. Gibbs was pissed.

“That was a waste of time,” he said to Ziva as they rode the elevator to Abby’s lab.

“Yes, but hopefully these will help us eliminate them from our enquires,” Ziva said.

“It wasn’t either of them. They’re skinny, yeah and their faces matched the sketch, but neither of them looked like frequent drug users. Which is the image I got when Tony described his attacker,” Gibbs said.

“McGee wondered why he did not mug Tony, why he chose to rape him and leave the cash.”

“I guess the only person with that answer is the perp and I doubt he’ll tell us when we catch him.”

They got off at Abby’s lab and headed in to see what Abby and McGee had managed to do during their time in interrogation.

“What do you have for me, Abs?” Gibbs asked.

“Well, I can’t tell you much until I’ve run these two, but you can rule out the civilian - a Mr. James Peters - his DNA didn’t match.”

“Tony said it wouldn’t.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” Abby complained.

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?” Gibbs replied, leaning forward and giving Abby a kiss on the forehead. “I need coffee, McGee can you get me a coffee, Abby a Caf-Pow and anything you want for yourself and Ziva of course.”

McGee nodded and said nothing. Gibbs was acting the same way he had when Kate had been killed - nice - and there was no Tony to goad him into being his usual self. It was weird to work with and he would never get used to it no matter how long it went on.

Abby sat at her computer watching as the DNA did its thing. Gibbs stood in the corner, waiting impatiently for results that Abby couldn’t possibly give in after such a short time. Ziva leant against the table behind Abby and waited. They were all waiting for the computer to either deny or confirm if they had a viable suspect. On the table now were the two Petty Officers - Petty Officer Michael Trent and Petty Officer James Woodman - and the two Marines - Gunny Sergeant Matthew Peters and Gunny Sergeant Ian Yates.

Gibbs’ gut told him it was one of the Petty Officers, looking at their photo’s they both looked skinny and wiry, the way Tony had described them, but neither one had any drug history - not that that meant anything these days, some drug addicts were good at hiding their habit, only showing their true colours when they were desperate for a fix.

The question McGee has raised came back to haunt him. Why had the attacker just raped Tony? Why hadn’t he just mugged him and taken the money if he was looking for a fix? Was this something personal? Had they been sent on a mission by someone unknown to them to rape and humiliate Tony and that was why they had known about his gun shot wound? Had this all been a set-up? Would they be able to find whoever set Tony up? Or would they only get the attacker? The person paid to rape him, but not the one with the hidden agenda? God, he had too many questions for a sane person - especially when there were so few answers.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

The match came just before the phone call and left Gibbs not sure which to respond to first. He wanted to be there when Tony woke up from his surgery but on the other hand, he’d promised him that he would be the one to interview his attacker and catch him in whatever lie he chose to give. The more he thought about it, the more he began to believe that whoever had raped Tony had been paid to do it by someone else, as there was the issue of the fact that they just raped it and didn’t take any money - despite having all the signs of being a drug addict.

Gibbs decided to deal with the match first, and then head back to the hospital whilst McGee and Ziva located the suspect and brought him in, he’d let him stew for a while and then question him. That way he could check Tony was okay following the surgery and still keep his promise that he would be the one to interrogate the suspect.

“Right, Ziva, McGee, bring him in and stick him in interrogation one, I’ll be back in an hour or so,” Gibbs told them.

“Where are you going?” Ziva asked, looking confused.

“The hospital phoned, Tony is out of surgery, I’m going to see him before I do my interrogation. Oh, and make sure the ‘cuffs are tight,” Gibbs replied, empathising the word ‘tight’.

He turned and left Abby’s lab, talking the elevator to the bullpen and then the other elevator to the car park level, where he got out and headed to his car. He was rushing, but that was normal when they were at this stage in a case. Except he wasn’t rushing to catch the perp, he was rushing to get away so that he could come back refreshed from seeing Tony. He hoped the man had come through the surgery safely as he hadn’t been able to get any details on the phone, just a standard message that Tony was out of surgery and would be back in the ICU in a few minutes.

He drove at his normal speed - that was ten miles over the speed limit - because he wanted to be there when Tony woke up; he didn’t want the man to wake up alone after such an important surgery. He got to Bethesda in record time and made his way to the third floor where the ICU was located.

He was pleased to see that although Tony was back in his room, he had yet to wake up from the anesthetic, so Gibbs took his normal place by Tony’s bed in the chair that had been left for him and took Tony’s hand in his, rubbing little circles over the back of it with his thumb.

Tony stirred. “What…wh…huh,” he said, still half-asleep.

“It’s just me, Tony, you can go back to sleep.”

“Did you catch him?” Tony asked, closing his eyes, but staying awake for Gibbs’ answer.

“Yeah, we did. McGee and Ziva are picking him up now. I’m not staying long, I’m going back to interrogate him soon. I just had to check that you were okay first.”

“Good, I’m fine, honestly. Little tired though,” Tony mumbled, falling back to sleep after he spoke. Gibbs sighed and leaned down to kiss the young man’s forehead. Tony would be okay, and they’d caught the guy who’d raped him, now all they had to do was see Tony through a long recovery.

Gibbs stood up when he saw Dr. Foster signaling to him through the glass in the door. “Has he woken up?” the doctor asked, when Gibbs was out of the room.

“Yeah, briefly, he wasn’t really with it though. How did the surgery go? Gibbs asked.

“There were a few sticky moments where we thought we were going to lose him, but he came through pretty well. The positioning of the pacemaker is near perfect and the cardiologist is pleased with his post-operative EKG. It looks like this could be the end of Tony’s heart problems. Once he’s woken up from the surgery and we’ve monitored him for a few hours, I see no reason why he can’t be moved to a private room off the ICU,” Dr. Foster explained.

“I have to leave in about thirty minutes to do something at work, I shouldn’t be longer than three hours, but I’d like to be with him when you move him so he doesn’t get disorientated by it. Would it be okay for you to leave him here and wait for me to get back to move him?”

“We don’t plan on moving him for at least the next twelve hours, we want to monitor the pacemaker and his heart until then to be sure there’ll be no more problems, so you should be back by then anyway.”

“Thank you,” Gibbs said, shaking the outstretched hand.

“Just doing my job,” Dr. Foster replied. He turned and left Gibbs alone standing outside of Tony’s room.

Gibbs went back inside and sat next to Tony’s bed, watching him sleep. He was through the worst now, his kidneys were showing signs of healing and although he’d be on a load of medication for a long while after he was discharged and it would be several months before he could return as an active Field Agent, the job was there for him when he was ready.

~*~

Ziva and McGee watched the suspect through the glass, while waiting for Gibbs to return from the hospital and start the interrogation. It had been a pretty easy arrest, the Petty Officer seemed to have been expecting them ��" but then again when you rape an employee of a Federal Agency, you should expect to get caught, even though DiNozzo hadn’t reported the rape until after he’d taken the overdose, but the Petty Officer didn’t know that.

Gibbs appeared after they had been waiting for thirty minutes; he came into the interrogation side room and looked at Ziva and McGee. “This the bastard?”

“Yes, boss,” McGee said. “We caught up with him on base, he didn’t seem to surprised to see us.”

“Well, when you attack a Federal Agent, you have to know you’ll get caught and arrested eventually,” Gibbs said. “Right, I want everything done by the book, I do not want this guy to get off on a technicality.” He was mostly talking to the guy sat behind them that was in charge or recording the interview both in a visual and sound capacity.

Gibbs took one last look at the Petty Officer through the glass, then turned and exited the room, appearing on the other side of the glass within seconds. “Petty Officer Woodman, my people tell me you weren’t surprised to be brought in,” Gibbs said, starting the interview.

“No, sir.”

“Why’s that then?”

“I was sure you were watching me.”

“Why would we be watching you?”

“Because of the drugs.”

“What, drugs?”

“The heroin I’ve been buying, sir. I thought one of my fellow Petty Officers saw me make a deal with someone and had reported me to my CO, who would have called in NCIS. That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”

“Actually, no.”

“Oh God.”

“Yeah, you did just admit to buying drugs on tape, that will go nicely with the charge that we’re planning to send you to Levenworth on.”

“And what charge is that, sir?”

“Rape,” Gibbs said, simply.

Chapter Thirty

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Petty Officer Woodman said, trying to feign ignorance about the situation, but Gibbs’ gut told him that this was the man responsible for the situation Tony was in right now, whether it had been his idea or not was another question that Gibbs didn’t have the answer to, but he sure as hell wanted it.

“Don’t play the lovable idiot with me. The man you raped was a member of my team and I take any attacks on them very, very, very seriously,” Gibbs said, leaning closer and closer to the Petty Officer’s face as he spoke.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Woodman repeated, trying to move his face so that he wasn’t in Gibbs’ eye line, but he couldn’t move away because Gibbs was right in his face.

“You’re not leaving here until I get some answers.”

“I’m happy to answer any questions about the drugs, but this rape? I know nothing about it.”

“Do not mess with me. The man you raped was an agent of mine, a dear friend, a valued colleague and you attacked him, you attacked him because you were told to and I want to know why you did it and who told you to do it?” Gibbs asked, his voice low.

“I don’t know…”

“WE HAVE YOUR DNA!” Gibbs shouted.

“My…my…my DNA?” the Petty Officer stuttered.

“Did you honestly think you would get away with attacking and raping an unarmed Federal Agent? That he wouldn’t report it? Preserve evidence? Go to a hospital to get checked out? That, as his colleagues we wouldn’t search high and low to get him justice? That he wouldn’t recognise your face, your stance, the way you were itching for a fix?” The fact that Tony had done pretty much none of those and had instead washed away vital evidence and chosen to try to take his own life than tell anyone was irrelevant, the suspect didn’t know that and if Gibbs had his way, he never would.

“I want a deal.”

“You have nothing to deal with,” Gibbs stated.

“I can give you my supplier.”

“I don’t want him, I want whoever paid you in heroin to raped my agent.”

“Nobody did.”

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not, I spotted him on his run, took him down and raped him,” Woodman admitted.

“Why?” Gibbs asked, sitting back in his chair. He knew the confession would come now and all he had to do was ask the right questions and he’d get the answers he wanted.

“I needed a fix.”

“Why didn’t you rob him?”

“He…er…he didn’t have any cash,” Woodman lied.

“He had $40 in his pocket, you took his pants off, you raped him and not once in his statement does he mention you searching him for money, which you would have found easily if you’d looked.”

“How do I know you’re not making that up?”

“Because we ran every possible forensic test on those clothes and we have an inventory of everything he had in his possession. He left his gun and cell at home otherwise you’d probably be down in our morgue with a gunshot wound to your forehead.”

“Okay, so I didn’t check.”

“Then why rape him, why not just mug him?”

“I needed the fix, I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“How did you know which of his shoulders was injured?” Gibbs asked, changing the direction of the questioning to confuse the suspect in the hope that he’d say something he’d regret later. It usually worked, the question was, would it work this time?

“I…I didn’t.”

“Then why did you grab him by that one and push him down and keep the pressure on that one shoulder, if you didn’t know he’d recently suffered a gun shot wound to it,” Gibbs asked.

“I just grabbed him and when he shouted out, I knew it was a sore point for him so I used it to my advantage.”

“Nice try. You’re either working for someone or you were and they either gave you enough money to buy yourselves enough heroin to last you a while or they paid you pure - in drugs. Now, tell which is was and I might consider a deal.” Gibbs sat forward, staring straight into the Petty Officer’s eyes, he wasn’t letting him leave that room until he had his answers, not while Tony lay recovering from emergency surgery - a direct result of the overdose that this man drove him to take.

“I’ll admit to the drugs and the rape, but I’m not saying anything more until I get a lawyer,” Woodman said, before sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms. He looked so pleased with himself that Gibbs had to resist the urge to slap that smile of his face and let him know how serious he was about getting answers.

Instead, he stood up and turned out to the blackened mirror, he motioned for the tape to be turned off and said, “Get the Petty Officer a drink while we call his lawyer for him.” After that, he went out of the door and joined McGee and Ziva in the corridor.

“He confessed, why are you pushing for a name of someone who we do not know even exists?” Ziva asked.

“It’s something Tony said in his statement, that Woodman favoured his left shoulder when he grabbed it and leant on it for Tony to keep still. Also, why would an obvious drug addict like Woodman not notice the $40 in Tony’s pocket? Why didn’t he just take that and mug Tony? Why rape him instead? He doesn’t come across as the kind of man who would get off on it, so why did he do it? I think he was paid to; someone set Tony up, someone who knew that Tony had been injured in that shoulder and knew what route Tony usually ran at night. I want that person too, not just Woodman, I don’t just want the puppet, I want the puppet master,” Gibbs explained.

“I’ll go through the cases again, see if anyone stands out that might have known Tony was injured. I’ll check his most recent cases first. It would make sense that it was someone who was involved with the case that Tony got hurt on,” McGee said, heading for the elevator to the bullpen so he could start tracking down the “puppet master” that Gibbs was so desperate to find.

The lawyer - a Mr. Gareth Cooper - arrived forty minutes later and then demanded everyone leave the observation room and all tapes be turned off so that he could talk privately with his client. Gibbs did everything by the book and actually got them to turn off the tapes and video and ushered Ziva out of the observation room - he was determined that the Petty Officer have no reason to get the case thrown out of court. He was going to Levenworth for a long time for his attack on Tony.

After he was done talking with his client, he motioned for Gibbs to join him in the interview room, whilst Ziva re-entered the observation room and told the man to turn back on the video and audio.

“I have told my client to cooperate with you if there’s a chance of a deal,” Mr. Cooper said.

“What kind of deal are we talking about here?” Gibbs asked.

“You don’t prosecute for the drugs, get Petty Officer Woodman into a rehabilitation program so he can come off them and you change the charge from rape to sexual assault. It means he’ll serve less time in Levenworth. The dishonorable discharge is inevitable, but you have to put in a good word with the judge so he’ll be lenient when sentencing,” Mr. Cooper explained. His client said nothing, just looked at Gibbs.

“I won’t prosecute for the drugs, that’s fine, but I won’t reduce the charge and he will serve the appropriate time in Levenworth. He raped a Federal Officer, and he’s admitted to it, on tape. I also want the name of whoever paid him to do it before I agree to any deal,” Gibbs replied. He was determined that this man go down for Tony’s rape and he was not going to prosecute him on a smaller charge, he wanted people to know that this man was a rapist, and he wanted people to know for the rest of Woodman’s life.

“Okay, we won’t push for the smaller charge, but if he gives up the person responsible, you have to promise to ask the judge to be lenient when sentencing and that he’s allowed to attend a rehabilitation program whilst in jail.”

“Okay. Now, give me the name,” Gibbs said, looking at Petty Officer Woodman and giving him the full blast of his stare.

“I want police protection,” Woodman replied, still stalling for a better deal.

“You’ll be in custody, that’s the best kind of protection you’re going to get.”

“No, no, I’ve heard of people being killed in prison.”

“You think people are going to want to kill you after they hear you raped a Federal Officer? We put most of them there; you’re going to be a hero!” Gibbs told him.

“I still want protection.”

“Fine, I’ll arrange for you to be put in seclusion,” Gibbs replied, rolling his eyes.

“You promise?” Woodman asked.

“I swear it on my heart, okay? Now give me the name.”

Woodman took a deep breath in and let it out, wiped the sweat from his brow and looked Gibbs dead in the eye. “Jonathon Kamisnski.”

Chapter Thirty-One

Gibbs headed out of the interrogation room fast and headed upstairs, once he got there he didn’t stop to explain just half shouted at McGee. “Look up everything you can find on Jonathon Kamisnski, I want it all now. His bank details, everything, get the warrant later, just do it now!”

McGee knew enough about Gibbs to know not to question him so set about searching for any information he could find on the man in question. He knew that it must have something to do with Tony and his attacker who was still in interrogation, but decided to keep quiet and just do what he did best.

Gibbs had left Ziva downstairs to deal with Petty Officer Woodman’s transfer to a secure facility where he would stay until his trial, though he may be moved to a secure rehabilitation program before then, but that was unlikely given the severity of his charge. He had done his job, kept his promise and interviewed the suspect so he could return to the hospital if he wished and stay by Tony’s side until they caught Kamisnski and needed to question him and that could take a while seeing as they knew nothing about him.

“What are you getting, McGee?” Gibbs asked, realising he’d only given his agent no more than five minutes to find something on the man, but he knew McGee was that good.

“Not much so far, boss. He’s a Lieutenant Commander based at Norfolk, been on shore leave for about a month. I’m trying to find out who his CO is so we have somewhere to start,” McGee said.

“Kamisnski? That’s not a common name, is it?” Gibbs asked.

“No, he’s a third generation immigrant, his grandparents moved here from Poland during the second world war,” McGee explained.

“What about his service record?”

“Well, he’s done three tours in Iraq, been back on US soil for the past three months, did some work at Norfolk before going on shore leave a month ago. I’ll try to track down some of his friends, see if they know where he’s gone and where to find him. You want us to bring him in?”

“Of course. Take Ziva with you, I’ll be at the hospital with Tony. Call me there when you find something. Get a warrant for his bank details and everything, he must have some connections to have ordered the hit on Tony. I want to know if he’s at the top of the chain or if he was ordered by someone else, and if he was, who that someone else is and I want to know yesterday!” Gibbs told him, before grabbing his coat and heading to the elevator.

He drove at his normal speed to Bethesda and arrived in a matter of minutes - having ignored most of the traffic signals on the way, that didn’t surprise him. It made him glad he was a Federal Agent because if he ever got caught speeding, which he hadn’t ever before, he could claim it was something job related and the local cops would probably let him off with a warning. Though, right then, he had a lot more on his mind to worry him than what the local cops might do to him if they caught him driving in his usual state.

It took more than a few minutes for the elevator to arrive and for a while Gibbs debated taking the stairs to the third floor, but just as he was about to do so, the elevator arrived and he took it to the third floor. The ICU was quiet, which for some reason, calmed him. Maybe because the quietness meant that no one was coding and that meant that all was well with Tony. He made his way to Tony’s room and once there, took his usual spot at Tony’s bedside.

He cursed himself under his breath when he realised that he had forgotten to get himself some coffee from the cafeteria and didn’t want to leave Tony now that he was finally back here to do it then. One of the nurses must have noticed his arrival because she appeared at the door with a steaming hot cup of their coffee and handed it to Gibbs.

“Dr. Foster asked us to page him when you arrived, he wanted to talk about Tony’s condition with you both,” she explained.

“Why didn’t he talk to Tony? Is there a problem?” Gibbs asked, his worry level rising.

“No problem, I think he just wanted you here when he spoke to Tony about it so that if he had any questions or needing calming down there was someone here to do it,” the nurse told him and he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Tell him I’ll be here for a fair few hours yet, so when he wants to talk, I’m ready.” The nurse nodded at him and left him alone with Tony who was still sleeping off the effects of the anesthesia.

Gibbs rubbed his thumb in small circles on the back of Tony’s hand to let him know that he was there. He didn’t want to wake the man, but at the same time he wanted him awake for when Dr. Foster arrived to talk to them. He decided to let him sleep until the doctor arrived in the ICU.

It didn’t take long for Dr. Foster to appear, he headed straight for Tony’s room and smiled at Gibbs, who was taking a sip for his coffee - it was from the nurses’ supply so it was decent stuff at least. “I’ll just wake him and then we can discuss whatever it is you wanted to discuss,” Gibbs said, putting down his coffee on the table next to him.

“I’d like to run another EKG, so I’ll wait until he’s awake, otherwise he’ll move and the results will be off,” Dr. Foster replied.

Gibbs nodded and shook Tony’s good shoulder gently. “Tony, it’s time to get up. Come on, DiNozzo, time to show me those green eyes.”

Tony grunted, but obeyed the voice he could hear and opened his eyes. He saw Gibbs staring back at him and smiled a little. His chest was sore where they’d opened him up, but he could cope with a little pain so long as Gibbs was there.

“I thought you left?” Tony said.

“I did, but I’m back now,” Gibbs replied, giving Tony one of his rare smiles.

“Did you catch him?” Tony asked, trying to sit up, but he stopped when he realised he had stitches in his chest that hurt more when he moved. Gibbs reached for the bed controller and moved the head of the bed up so Tony was sitting.

“We did, there’s more I need to tell you, but first Dr. Foster wants to run an EKG and talk with us, so it’ll have to wait,” Gibbs explained. Tony nodded and the doctor began placing the probes on Tony’s chest. They all waited until the test was done and Dr. Foster tore off a strip of paper and studied it before turning to look at the two men.

“These results are promising, I’ll have to have the cardiologist have a look at them, but right now I don’t see any problems. Now, Tony, I wanted to discuss your prognosis now that the internal pacemaker is in place, I figured you’d be happier to discuss it with Agent Gibbs present, is that correct?” Dr. Foster asked.

Tony nodded. Gibbs took hold of his hand and gave it a little squeeze, whatever the doctor had to say, they would get through this together - as a team, as a family and as a couple.

“Your surgery went very well and you’re already showing improvement on the EKG, so that means that we got correct placement and everything and you shouldn’t have any more problems with your heart. I’ll arrange for the cardiologist to come and see you and answer any questions you might have,” the doctor said.

“Okay, is that all?” Tony asked, desperate to hear what Gibbs had to say.

“I also wanted to let you know that your kidney function has improved enough that we can discontinue the dialysis, we’ll leave the catheter in your carotid artery for few more days in case of an emergency, but I don’t see any reason why you can’t continue to have normal, functioning kidneys. You’ll have to continue on the liver medication as that is still showing signs of being damaged, but it has brought up your liver function tests - which is another good sign.”

“Thank you, doctor,” Gibbs said, shaking his outstretched hand. “When do you think he can be moved to a private room?”

“Sometime this afternoon, I should think. I’ve told the nurses that we’re planning to move you and the hospital is trying to find you a bed in an appropriate wing - it’ll be private of course because of the attack you suffered and the overdose. You’ve still got a long recovery ahead of you, but once you’re cleared by our psychiatrist, I see no reason why you can’t be discharged.”

“Will you still be his main physician once he’s off the ICU?” Gibbs asked, not wanting to have to get to know yet another doctor.

“I’ll be his primary physician until he’s discharged, don’t worry, Tony, I’ll see you through to the end.”

“Thanks for all you’ve done for Tony, I really appreciate it,” Gibbs told the man.

“Not a problem, just doing my job,” Dr. Foster replied before turning and leaving them alone.

Chapter Thirty-Two

“What did you want to tell me?” Tony asked, yawning. He was still a little tired from the anesthesia, but he felt more awake then than he had done in a while.

“Are you sure you don’t want to get some sleep first?” Gibbs replied, noticing the yawn. The news could wait if Tony needed to sleep, though he didn’t think Tony would go for that.

“I can sleep later, tell me what happened?” Tony protested. He may have felt tired but there was no way he was going to sleep until he knew what had gone on while Gibbs had been away from him.

“Okay, we managed to get a DNA match to a Petty Officer Woodman,” Gibbs started, he stopped talking to see if Tony recognised the name - he didn’t. “He admitted to doing drugs which means you were right about his look, but denied the rape until we told him we had his DNA. Now, Tony, it looks like you were set up, he gave us the name of the person who paid him in pure heroin to rape and attack you. That’s how he knew about your shoulder and how to keep you still.”

“If I’d only taken my gun,” Tony said, sadly.

“This is not the time to blame yourself, you didn’t know that you were going to be attacked and raped and you certainly didn’t know someone was going to set it up to happen,” Gibbs told him, squeezing his hand for comfort.

“Who paid him?”

“A Jonathon Kamisnski, ring any bells?”

“Lieutenant Commander in the Navy right? He’s done what three tours in Iraq, must have just gotten back from his last one,” Tony said, recognising the name.

“How do you know him?” Gibbs asked, pleased that they were getting somewhere. It meant that they had more evidence against the man if there was a pre-standing connection between him and Tony.

“From a case I worked in Baltimore. I only know he’s been on so many tours because I didn’t like the look of him then and I’ve been keeping a regular check on his service record,” Tony replied.

“You should have told me about this,” Gibbs said, angry that Tony had kept something like this from him, but more so because it had nearly cost him his life.

“I know, boss, but I had nothing on him that I could prove, it was all just circumstantial and every time I got close to getting something, someone else would take the rap and he’d get away with it.”

“What were you investigating him for in Baltimore?”

“A couple of suspicious deaths were tied to people he knew well, as well as the usual, drugs and prostitution,” Tony said.

“And you’ve been running a file on this guy since you left Baltimore P.D.?” Gibbs asked, trying to keep in his anger at the thought of Tony keeping something like this from him - especially when the man in question was tied to suspicious deaths.

“I didn’t think you’d be interested.” Tony shrugged, and winced when he pulled on the stitches in his chest.

“Dammit, Tony, this man has been linked to murder in the past and you run a file on him without informing me. Is it any wonder he paid someone to attack and rape you?” Gibbs shouted.

“I guess, I never thought he knew. He had no reason to, I only ever applied for warrants for his arrest when I thought I could catch him in a loophole. Like I said, before the warrant was signed someone else would confess to the crime so there was no need for it to go any further.”

“He must know someone on the inside, because he must have known about those warrants and the fact that you were practically watching his every move. Dammit, DiNozzo, do you ever think about anything beyond what goes into your stomach? He could have arranged a hit on you for all you know and we could have been burying you - not that we weren’t close to it already. I’m going to arrange to have a guard put on your door now and when you’re moved, then I’m going back to the Navy Yard to see if McGee and Ziva have anything useful on him and then I’m going to arrest that son of a bitch and put him in Levenworth for the rest of his natural days,” Gibbs told Tony, angry that up until now he’d been kept in the dark and that Tony could still be in danger. “Kamisnski wouldn’t know that you tried to kill yourself, so he wouldn’t expect you to be in the hospital, but if he’s got someone on the inside then he knows now, exactly where you are and how to find you, I don’t want you to leave this room without that guard, you need to pee…”

“Uh, Gibbs? I have a catheter in my bladder, I couldn’t move even if I wanted to.”

“Good. Stay here, stay safe, call me when they move you to your new room and make sure the guard goes with you.”

“You’re not leaving yet, are you?”

“Not until the guard gets here,” Gibbs told him, hitting the call button for the nurse who responded quickly - another sign that the ICU was quiet. “I need to use a phone; can one be brought in here?”

“Of course, Agent Gibbs, would you like a refill on your coffee too?”

“That would be brilliant, thank you,” he said, giving the nurse one of his rare smiles.

They both waited in silence as the nurse grabbed Gibbs a refill and brought the phone to Tony’s room. “You know how to get an outside line?” she asked.

“Yes, press ‘9’ and then dial,” Gibbs replied.

“That’s right, here’s your coffee Agent Gibbs, I’ll be just outside if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Tony said, once he saw that Gibbs was now ignoring her and concentrating on whatever number he had dialed.

Tony listened as Gibbs requested the help of two Marines that would take twelve hour shifts to watch him and protect him should anything actually happen, which Tony doubted. He was sure that Kamisnski didn’t even know he was close to being arrested, let alone the amount of times Tony had nearly caught him. True, he may have been behind his attack and rape, but why would he come back to do more to Tony if he’d already arranged that? Why hadn’t he just ordered the hit and be done with it. When he thought back to that night, he realised that without his gun or his shoulder in perfect working order, he’d been very vulnerable - not just because of the rape - but that his attacker could have finished him off for real. Using whatever weapon he could find, after all no one had come to his aid when he’d cried out ‘rape’ and there’d been no one around to help him after his attacker had left the area, no one had called the police or even approached him to check he was alright. In fact, as he remembered it, he couldn’t visualise anyone actually being there during or after his attack as he made he way back to his apartment.

Kamisnski must know someone on the inside because how else would he have found out about Tony’s shoulder injury, how else would his attacker have known to use that against him, how else would they have known what route he took. The more he thought about it the more he realised that it hadn’t been some random attack, it had been planned and that made it all the more harder to deal with. The fact that Kamisnski knew so much about it and deemed that he be raped for keeping a file on him, even though he’d only ever been close to arrest a handful of times - if that.

He felt the tears fall and didn’t want Gibbs to see them because then he would ask why and want to stay once the Marines arrived, but he couldn’t hide them because his body was still so weak from the overdose and following surgery and seizures and kidney problems and liver problems. Who knew one action could have so many different consequences?

Gibbs was finished on the phone when he noticed Tony’s tears, he took hold of his hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “What’s wrong?” he asked, gently.

“It wasn’t a random attack, it was a punishment for doing my damn job, a punishment that meant I did something that nearly cost me that damn job, and now I’m going to be under lock and key until you have Kamisnski in custody and locked away, all because I did something a Probie would have known not to do,” Tony replied, still crying.

Gibbs leaned forward and enclosed the man in as gentle a hug as he could manage, wary of the tube in his carotid artery and the stitches in his chest - he didn’t want to hurt him any further.

“We’ll get him for this, Tony, I swear to you we will. We’ll get whoever’s feeding him information if I have to beat it out of him, but I swear you’ll be safe from now on, all you have to do is get better so you can come back to work and watch my six on cases, but not even McGee or Ziva do it quite as well as you do,” Gibbs told him, planting a small kiss on Tony’s tear stained cheeks.

Tony sighed, part of him wanted to believe Gibbs, that he would get Kamisnski, but another part wondered how the man would be successful where he had failed so many times before.

Chapter Thirty-Three

With the Marine situated outside Tony’s ICU room and with Tony being moved to a private room in a couple of hours, Gibbs left the hospital to go and see how his team were doing in tracking down Kamisnski. Tony had calmed down whilst they had been waiting for the Marine to arrive so he felt okay with leaving him. Dr. Foster had told him Tony would be moved to room 457 when the room was ready and Tony had had one final EKG to check his heart function hadn’t declined.

He drove at his usual speed to the Navy Yard and took the elevator up to the bullpen where he found McGee and Ziva working away at tracking down the man behind Tony’s attack.

“Do we have anything?” Gibbs asked, surprising them both, as they hadn’t heard him come in.

“We got his bank details, boss,” McGee said, recovering first. “He’s had some pretty big amounts of money paid in at various times over the past two years, and we traced a payment of $10,000 to a known drug dealer, which is obviously where he got the heroin to pay Petty Officer Woodman.”

“Tony has been building a file on the guy since his days at Baltimore P.D., we think that was why he was targeted, he said that every time he got close to arresting the guy, someone else would confess to crime and the case would be closed. I want you to look at his computer to see if you can find the file so we have all the information on this guy. I want him to go down for this, not slip away like he has all those times before,” Gibbs told McGee. He nodded and got up from his desk and headed over to Tony’s where he booted up the computer and began searching.

“Ziva, what do you have for me?” Gibbs asked, turning to face Officer David.

“Why did Tony keep a file on a man and not tell you?” Ziva asked, sounding curious.

“That’s between me and Tony. Now, tell me what you got,” Gibbs replied.

Ziva raised an eyebrow and said nothing more on the subject. “I have been trying to talk to Kamisnski’s CO, so far I am getting brick-walled.”

“You mean, stone-walled,” McGee corrected.

“Whatever, it is like trying to get blood out of a rock,” Ziva said, exasperated.

“Blood out of a stone,” McGee said, from across the room.

“Do you not have more important things to do than correct my English?” Ziva asked, her eyes narrow.

“No, I do, it’s just Tony usually does that and…”

“Tony is not here.”

“I know, but…”

“But, nothing, do your own work and leave my idioms alone!”

“Enough, the both of you!” Gibbs ordered. “Get back to work or I’ll headslap the pair of you into next week.”

“Yes, boss,” McGee replied, turning back his concentration onto Tony’s machine and where he might have hidden the file on Kamisnski.

He actually found it purely by luck rather than skill. It was in a hidden directory labeled “Playboy images”. Inside was all the information Tony had gathered on the elusive Jonathon Kamisnski since his days at Baltimore P.D. He pressed the print button as well as putting it up on the plasma so that they could all see it.

“Tony’s got a lot of information here, his hang outs, his aliases, people he usually associates with. We should probably check some of these out as well as tracking these people down to see if they’ve seen him,” McGee said.

“Ya think, McGee?” Gibbs said, sarcastically.

“I’ll get on it now,” McGee said, heading back to his own computer and starting to search for some of the people on the list, as well as phoning Agent Lee in Legal to get them warrants for all the places listed.

Thirty minutes later, McGee, Gibbs and Ziva were outside a warehouse that Kamisnski used to store anything he saw fit to store there, they weren’t particularly sure - Tony’s notes hadn’t detailed what was in the warehouse, but whatever it was, it was bound to be illegal and if Kamisnski was in there, it would give them the chance to take him down and put him in Levenworth where he belonged.

Gibbs motioned for McGee to check round the back for any exits and cover those, whilst he and Ziva went in the front. He put up his hand and counted down from three with his fingers and then they burst through the door.

“NCIS Federal Agents! Put down your tools and put your hands up,” they shouted as they entered. McGee came in through the back and stopped two people from getting out that way. The occupants of the warehouse all complied with the search of the property and their selves. Kamisnski wasn’t present and so far, no one was giving up his location.

It looked like they had Kamisnski for illegal trading too, as one of the occupants was unpacking what looked like counterfeit DVD’s and another was sewing fashion labels onto clothes and handbags. It was a simple operation that would need lots of space, which would explain the other five warehouses that Tony had listed in his file. It was also something he could get away with doing whilst having an active military career as it wouldn’t have needed him to be there whilst his employees did all the work. The Navy certainly wouldn’t question his extra income; to them he was a hero who had fought for his country in Iraq, on more than one occasion.

Gibbs went outside to call for transport for the people they’d arrested, whilst McGee and Ziva kept watch on their prisoners. Once they were all shipped away and headed to be kept in custody and questioned, Gibbs let out his anger.

“This is a waste of our time, we’ve got five other warehouses, just like this one to search and what are the chance of Kamisnski being in any of them? Close to zero. I want that bastard, I want him today,” Gibbs snapped. McGee and Ziva said nothing, just got in the car as they headed to their next location.

They got lucky at the fourth warehouse - an occupant who didn’t want to be arrested with the others told them that Kamisnski had been doing his rounds today and would be at the fifth warehouse and that if they hurried, they might very well catch up to him.

Gibbs drove faster than usual as they headed to the last warehouse on the list they procured from Tony’s computer and as luck would have it, Kamisnski was still there. Gibbs grabbed him by the arms, slammed him against the wall, shoved the warrant for his arrest in his face and handcuffed him using very tight handcuffs.

“What is the charge?” Kamisnski demanded as he was being led away.

“Paying for the attack and rape of a Federal Agent,” Gibbs spat, shoving him in the back of his car with McGee on one side and Ziva the other.

“I know nothing about the rape of a Federal Agent,” he said, keeping his calm.

“Well, our source says you do.”

“I demand to know the source.”

“You keep on demanding. I’m not giving you anything.”

“My lawyers will have me out by the end of the day,” Kamisnski said, proudly.

“Is that so? We’ll see about that. You paid for the attack and rape of a Federal Agent, the Judge won’t look too kindly on you for that. Add to that the fact that you’ve been running several illegal operations whilst serving in Iraq, they’ll take all of that into consideration. You won’t see the light of day again.”

“You can’t charge me for having employees that do something illegal while I’m out fighting for my country in Iraq.”

“Watch me.”

Kamisnski was silent the rest of the way to NCIS, obviously he had thought that $10,000 worth of heroin would buy silence, but he was wrong and knowing him from what they’d read from Tony’s file, they were right to put Woodman in seclusion, otherwise they would have lost their number one witness.

Chapter Thirty-Four

“Bethesda Naval Hospital, how may I direct your call?”

“I’d like to speak to Agent Tony DiNozzo, he should either be in room 457 or in the ICU,” Gibbs said, watching Kamisnski through the glass of the observation room.

“Hold please.” There was silence on the other end of the phone as Gibbs tried to stare a hole into Kamisnski’s head. “Agent DiNozzo has been moved to room 457, please wait while I connect you.”

There was a pause and then the normal ringing sound, it took a while, but finally Tony picked up. “Hello,” he said.

“It’s me.”

“Hey, boss. Sorry it took me so long to get to the phone, what with the stitches in my chest and the tube in my neck, it’s a little hard to get mobile,” Tony said, trying to make himself comfortable.

“We got him, Tony, he’s in our custody and I swear to you we won’t let him go until the Secretary of the Navy makes us, hell, make that the President.”

“What charges are you holding him on?”

“Illegal trading - he had five whole warehouses of fake jewelry, fashion items, handbags, jeans, DVD’s, you name it, he counterfeited it. As well as arranging the attack and rape on you.”

“Does he know it was me who was raped?”

“Of course he does, he ordered it!”

“I know, but have you told him that’s what you suspect him of?”

“Not yet, but when I get off the phone with you I will.”

“Be careful, Gibbs, I didn’t not catch him because I was a crap investigator, he’s a slippery one.”

“I know, Tony. Is the Marine still there?”

“Yeah, he helped them move me down here. I’m on the second floor now, north wing. Beautiful nurses too.”

“Hey, I thought we decided you only had eyes for me.”

“I do, but I can look can’t I?” Tony said, laughing.

“What do you think?”

“I’ll try to avoid their stares then…when will you take the guard off me? When are you coming back?” Tony asked, sounding solemn for a change.

“Soon, and once we have him in custody and I know there’s no way he can call for a hit on you. Once I’m sure you’re safe, I’ll take the guard off, but I doubt that’ll be until you’re home with me.”

“Since when did I agree to move in with you?”

“You didn’t, but if you think I’m letting you go back to that apartment after what happened to you, you have a whole nother thing coming.”

“Okay, boss. I better let you go.”

“Take care, Tony and I’ll see you soon,” Gibbs promised as he closed the phone, cutting the connection. “Show time,” he muttered under his breath as he opened the door so that Ziva and McGee could observe and made his way to the interrogation room, where he intended to take Kamisnski over hot coals.

Kamisnski had called his lawyer the second they had allowed him to make a phone call, and with the threat to Tony’s life apparent they had been the ones to dial to make sure it really was a phone call to a lawyer. He’d appeared ten minutes after they’d arrived at NCIS and had already been briefed by his client. They’d been ready for the interview to start for the past ten minutes, but Gibbs had wanted to make the phone call to Tony to let him know they had the bastard.

Gibbs took a deep breath and opened the door to the interrogation room, walking in confidently and taking his seat opposite Kamisnski and his lawyer - a Mr. David Cross.

“You know why you’re here Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski?” Gibbs asked, starting the game that would hopefully lead to this man’s imprisonment in Levenworth.

“You think I had something to do with Agent DiNozzo’s rape,” he said, smoothly.

“How did you know it was Agent DiNozzo who was raped?” Gibbs asked, already realising just how good this man was at staying out of jail. It would be hard to get enough that a Judge wouldn’t throw out. He needed Petty Officer Woodman to not change his mind and testify that the hit was ordered by Kamisnski personally.

“I know that your Agent has been harassing me for years, trying to stick crimes I didn’t commit against my name and failing. I assumed when you came down hard on me and mentioned a rape - and that the Agent in question wasn’t present at my arrest that it had to be him. I guess he’s telling you that I must be behind this?”

“No, actually, we have the rapist. He gave you up. I guess $10,000 worth of heroin isn’t as worth much as not getting a life sentence in Levenworth. Which is where you’re going.”

“I see, do you have any proof other than the word of a man who has confessed to rape and has a history of drug use?”

“We don’t need anything else. What we saw today is enough to earn you 5-10 in a Federal prison, if that’s all I can get you on, that’ll be enough for me and my Agent.”

“How is Tony? Recovering from his suicide attempt, I presume,” Kamisnski said, smoothly with a twinkle in his eye.

“What suicide attempt?” Gibbs asked, not batting an eyelid or missing a beat. He would not let this man scare him into letting him go, Tony was safe with a Marine guard and the hospital personnel knew of his concerns, they wouldn’t let anyone go near Tony who didn’t work for them or NCIS. He was sure of that.

“My, my, is that the game you wish to play?”

“I’m not playing any games here. I want to know why you ordered a hit on my Agent?”

“I deny any knowledge of this so-called ‘hit’. I also deny any involvement with the man who raped him. What was his name?”

“Petty Officer James Woodman,” Gibbs told him, matching his stare with one of his own trademarked glares.

“I don’t know the name. It is of course possible that I’ve served with him in the past, but that kind of connection proves nothing.”

“He gave you up as his supplier,” Gibbs lied, he was losing this interrogation and anyone who knew Gibbs knew he hated to lose.

“That’s impossible, I don’t supply drugs…”

“Jonathon,” his lawyer warned.

“You’ve seen all my warehouses, don’t you think if I supplied drugs there would have been, y’know, drugs in them? He’s lying and if he’s lying about that then no Judge is going to believe that he’s telling the truth about me apparently paying him in heroin to attack and rape Tony DiNozzo,” Kamisnski ranted.

“My client has a point, Agent Gibbs. Do you have any other proof of this ‘hit’ being ordered by my client other than the word of this man?” Mr. David Cross asked.

Gibbs sat staring at the two of them, desperate to find something that he could say that would keep them there, but he knew he had nothing, which meant they had no choice but to charge Kamisnski on the lesser charges of illegal trading and let him out on bail until his hearing. Out where he could arrange to silence Petty Officer Woodman for good, and Tony as well.

“No,” he said, quietly, hoping that neither one of them would hear him. They heard it though.

“Then, charge my client for the stuff you found in his warehouses and let him go,” Mr. Cross told him. The worst thing was Gibbs knew he was right and he had no choice but to do as he said. He charged Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski with illegal trading and arranged for him to be taken to be processed, bailed with a trial date pending. He’d been right when Gibbs had arrested him, only off by a few hours, he was out before morning.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Gibbs knew that he had to inform Tony that Kamisnski was now at large, having only been charged with what they found in his warehouses and there was nothing that he could do - legally - oh, there were a hundred and one things he could do to see that the man was punished for his crime against Tony illegally, but he wasn’t sure that Tony would want him to actually kill the man and risk his own freedom for that.

He told Ziva and McGee to search for anything that would link the Lieutenant Commander to the Petty Officer and told Abby to check for anything from the warehouse that would carry some kind of forensic link to the scene where Tony was attacked. If they could prove that maybe Woodman worked for Kamisnski and knew him through the warehouses, maybe they could get a Judge to agree that he was the one who ordered the hit on the word of a confessed rapist and druggie.

He left the bullpen, furious with himself for not thinking about that sooner and having a more secure case before altering Kamisnski to their case, now the man had a chance to get someone else to take the fall so that he could again walk free and if Gibbs had anything to do with it, it wouldn’t happen. His main worry was Tony’s safety, so as he drove he called the Marine on duty and informed him not to let anyone in without showing ID, including NCIS staff - they still had to find their leak, if there was one at all. He wanted a log of all Tony’s visitors from then onwards so that if an attempt on his life was made, they had someway to trace everyone who had seen him before and after. He also asked for the Marine to tell the staff that from now on, Tony was a ‘no information’ patient, meaning they wouldn’t even say if he was a patient at the hospital, let alone his room number. That should make it harder for Kamisnski. Harder, but not hard enough.

Gibbs drove faster than usual, avoiding cops by using his siren that hadn’t been used since the day he found Tony, he knew it was breaking the rules but right then he didn’t care - he just wanted to get to his partner and make sure he was okay.

When he arrived on Tony’s floor, he had no problem finding the private room they had arranged for him. He was desperate to find out any news of Tony’s condition and it felt like he hadn’t seen him all day even though he’d been in and out. He planned to crash here tonight with Tony, as he had done the last few nights Tony had been in the hospital. At least this time, he was off the ICU and showing signs of actually recovering.

“Hey, Tony,” Gibbs said, when he saw Tony lying down, watching the small TV fixed to the wall. He leant down and gave him a kiss on the forehead - which the Marine guarding either didn’t see or chose to ignore.

“Boss, it’s good to see you, I’m going out of my mind with the crap they call TV,” Tony said, smiling.

“How are you feeling? What’s the doc saying?” Gibbs asked.

“He came to see me once I’d been moved and apparently my latest blood results showed a lot of improvement in my kidney function so they’re gonna remove this tube at some point tomorrow. I still have to keep taking the meds for my liver though, it’s not recovering as quickly as they’d hoped it would. I also have to keep the catheter in for a few more days to monitor my urine output and to keep an eye on my kidneys, but he said after that they should be able to take it out. He’s arranged for me to see a new head doctor tomorrow morning, so that you’ll be here with me in case I freak out again and my latest EKG showed improvement so the surgery went well and the placement and all is okay.”

“That’s all good, but how are you feeling?” Gibbs asked, again, having digested all the medical information Tony had given him. It was the first time since his admission that Gibbs had not been present when the doctor came to see him.

“Tired, sore and a little sick,” Tony admitted.

“Have you told the nurses?”

“Didn’t want to bother them, it’s just a little pain and some nausea, what can they do?”

“You’re written up for meds to combat both of those, so ask for them next time.”

“What do you mean, ‘next time’?” Tony asked, sounding confused.

“Well, I’m going to go and get them for you this time, but you’ll have to learn to speak up, DiNozzo, you’ve got a long recovery ahead of you both physically and mentally and the nurses are here to make that recovery as smooth as possible, remember that.” With that, Gibbs left the room, tipping his head to the guard and headed to the nurses station which was located down the hall to the left.

When he got there, the only nurse present was on the phone with what he guessed was a relative of one of the other patients, so he stood back to give her some privacy and waited.

“What can I do for you, Agent Gibbs?” the nurse asked after about five minutes. Gibbs didn’t have to guess that she knew who he was because of Dr. Foster who would have told them to expect him to hang around and stay the night with Tony.

“Agent DiNozzo is experiencing some pain and nausea, Dr. Foster said it would happen with some of the medications he’s on, I wondered if he was written up for anything to help with that,” Gibbs asked, using his polite voice and giving her his best smile.

“He is, I’ll go and draw up the meds and be along to give them to him shortly. Will I need my ID to get past the guard?” she asked.

“Yes, even though we know you’re coming, he still has to check,” Gibbs explained.

“That’s fine,” she said, before disappearing from the desk to draw up Tony’s drugs. Gibbs headed back to Tony’s room, his ID out for the guard to check already.

“They’re going to bring you something in a moment; you think you can hold out that long?” Gibbs asked, gently, worried for his partner, the man he loved.

“I’ll be fine so long as no one makes any sudden movements,” Tony replied, looking green around the gills.

“I’ll wait until the nurse has been, but I have something to tell you.”

“Good or bad.”

“It’ll keep for a few minutes,” Gibbs said, pulling a chair up so that he could sit next to Tony’s bed. The cot he had slept on in the ICU had been moved down with Tony and was set up in the corner. Gibbs hoped he managed to get some decent down time tonight because he would be up early with Tony’s meeting with the shrink and then once that was over, he would have to get back to NCIS to see about putting Kamisnski behind bars where he belonged.

The nurse appeared with a syringe and a cup with two pills in it. “These are codeine, they should help with your pain, if they don’t you’re written up for something stronger if you need it. So let me know. This,” she said, holding up the syringe, “is Companzine, it should help with the nausea. I’ll give that to you IV first and then when you feel less sick, take the pills. We don’t want you throwing up when you don’t have to.”

Tony nodded and she injected the Companszine into his IV, which seemed to relax Tony as well, he closed his eyes.

“Try not to give in to sleep just yet, not until you’ve taken your pain medication. I’ve had this stuff before so I know it makes you sleepy,” the nurse said before leaving the room.

Five minutes after the injection, Tony swallowed the pills and settled back against the pillows. “What did you have to tell me, boss?” Tony asked, sleepily.

“If you need to sleep, it can wait until morning,” Gibbs asked, even though he knew that he really should tell Tony now so that his guard was up.

“Can it? Thanks, boss, that stuff has really knocked me out.” Gibbs watched Tony’s chest rise and fall, sitting there holding his hand until his breathing had evened out and Gibbs knew for sure he was asleep.

“I’m sorry, Tony,” he whispered, before giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead and retiring to his cot in the corner. He was sorry that he hadn’t been able to keep Tony safe, from the rape, from the attack, from everything. But, most of all, he was sorry that because of his errors, Kamisnski was walking the streets, by all means, a free man.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Tony was the first to wake the following morning, he glanced at the clock and saw that it was coming up to five am, the stitches in his chest were bothering him again. They itched like hell, but he knew better than to scratch them. He thought about calling the nurse for some painkillers, but decided against it, they made him sleepy and he’d only just woken up, he didn’t want to sleep the day away.

He thought about waking Gibbs, but before he could, he saw that Gibbs’ eyes were open and he was looking at him.

“Sleep well, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked, stretching as he sat up on the cot.

“Yeah, that stuff really knocked me out.”

“How are you feeling today?”

“Nervous about seeing the head doc, and my stitches itch, but otherwise I’m fine.”

“Good, then I need to talk to you. I tried to tell you last night but you were so sleepy I don’t think it would have sunk in properly,” Gibbs said, lying a little to try and relieve the guilt he felt.

“I vaguely remember you mentioning something, but the rest is a blur,” Tony admitted. Hearing that made Gibbs glad that he had waited until the morning to share the bad news with Tony. They had until eight am when his scheduled appointment with the new psychiatrist was.

“We arrested Kamisnski yesterday afternoon,” Gibbs started.

“I know, you told me, and yet the Marine is still on guard,” Tony said. The Marines had swapped over at ten pm and would swap again at ten am, so that there was always a constant guard on Tony’s door.

“I’m sorry, Tony, but we had to release him on bail, while he awaits a trial date,” Gibbs told him.

“Why?”

“We didn’t have enough evidence that linked him to Woodman to prove that he was the one who ordered the hit on you. All we had was Woodman’s word and no Judge in the country is going to take the word of a confessed rapist and drug user against a decorated Lieutenant Commander who’s done three tours of Iraq. I’ve got McGee and Ziva looking for more evidence that would tie the two together, we should have investigated more before arresting him, now he knows we’re building a case against him and that puts you and Woodman in serious danger because he’s likely to try and take out one or both of you to silence what you have to say. I’m sorry, Tony, I let you down,” Gibbs explained.

“You didn’t let me down, Gibbs. If I’d told you from the moment you hired me that I planned to try and build a case against Kamisnski and put him in Levenworth if it was the last thing I did as an NCIS Agent, then you would have gone in with more knowledge than you did. I told you, he’s a slippery one and he’s got great lawyers who will find him a loophole and exploit it as much as they can. I know you would have done everything in your power to keep him in custody and maybe you shouldn’t have gone after him yesterday, but it was probably mostly luck that meant you found him more than anything else. I trust you when you say you’ll protect me and I know you’ll get that son of a bitch no matter what it takes,” Tony replied, motioning for Gibbs to sit on the edge of his bed. When he obliged, Tony leant forward as far as he could and gave Gibbs a much needed hug. They stayed like that for a while before Gibbs decided to head off and investigate breakfast for himself since Tony would be fed by the hospital.

At seven am, a nurse arrived with the equipment to remove the catheter from Tony’s carotid artery that had been used while he was on dialysis. Tony seemed to be much more comfortable with it gone and with only his stitches to worry about when moving. She also presented him with his breakfast which he ate while waiting for Gibbs to return from the cafeteria. He hoped he would before his appointment with the psychiatrist because he wasn’t sure he could through what happened to him with a stranger without Gibbs there to comfort him. It was amazing how close the two of them had grown since the overdose and since they had gotten together, Tony suddenly felt dependant on someone else for his own happiness which he’d never allowed himself to do before because of the way his parents were. He’d truly believed that he only needed himself to be happy and had wondered why, for so long, with every relationship he had that ended he didn’t feel the loss of the person he’d been dating. Of course, Jeanne had been different, he had loved her, but not in the way he knew he loved Gibbs, it was different and he couldn’t put his finger on why. Whatever the reason, he had fallen for his boss and fallen hard.

Gibbs arrived back at Tony’s room with only a few minutes to spare before eight am, but he was there before the psychiatrist so that was all that mattered really. He sat himself down in the chair by Tony’s bed and took hold of the hand without the IV and gave it an affectionate squeeze. “It’ll be okay, Dr. Foster saw what the last guy did to you, he won’t make the same mistake twice and I’ll be allowed to stay so you’ll get through this, Tony, I promise you.”

At exactly eight am, the door opened and in walked Dr. Clark, he smiled when he saw Gibbs sat with Tony, their hands entwined. “I’m Dr. Clark and I’ll be Tony’s psychiatrist throughout his recovery. I’m guessing you’re his partner, Agent Gibbs?” the doctor said, introducing himself and offering out his hand for Gibbs to shake.

“I’m his partner, Agent Gibbs, or just Gibbs to you,” he said, shaking the doctor’s hand and sitting back down in his chair, grasping hold of Tony’s hand once more.

“Right, Dr. Foster explained to me that Tony would prefer it if you stayed while we have our initial chat. That’s fine with me, but when he has out patient appointments, I’d prefer it if he came alone, just because there are certain things he’ll need to work through on his own. Does that sound okay?”

Gibbs looked at Tony before nodding. “That sounds fine,” Tony said, squeezing Gibbs’ hand to check it was still clasped within his own.

“Okay, so you were admitted on Monday morning at around 6:35am because you’d taken an overdose of Vicodin. It was discovered on further examination that you’d been raped, and assumed that this was the reason for the overdose; can you walk me through what happened, Tony? Gibbs, if you could just let Tony talk, you’re only here for moral support,” Dr. Clark asked.

Tony nodded, squeezing the hand in his tightly before starting. “I had been off work with a gunshot wound to the shoulder, and I was going back into work the following day, so I went for a run to get back into the routine of things. I took my usual route and it was about 9pm.”

“Okay, what happened?”

“A man grabbed me by my shoulder - the one with the gunshot wound - and pushed me to the floor, I kicked out at him, but he had me pinned pretty good. He…he er…he took off my pants and spread my legs and then he…he…he raped me.”

“Did he say anything to you?”

“He was whispering things about how tight I was, and how good it felt, but other than that no.”

“Okay, continue.”

“When he was done, he…he slapped my face, causing my lip to split, and then ran off. I…I got dressed, and headed home and got into the shower. I musta been in there for a good hour because when I got out it was 11:30pm.”

“Is that when you took the overdose?”

“Yeah, I don’t really remember doing it, it’s like I see it in my head as someone else swallowing the pills with the Bourbon, but I must have done because the next thing I remember is waking up in the ICU here.”

“Can I ask, why did you take an overdose? Why didn’t you contact your partner and ask for help?”

“We weren’t together then.”

“Oh, this is a recent thing?”

“Well, I’ve wanted it for a while, but never had the guts to say anything because he’s my boss, but when I woke up, we talked and then we got together. I think my trying to kill myself made him realise how he felt for me,” Tony explained, hoping that it came across in the right manner.

“I see, why did you take an overdose instead of calling for help? I mean, as a Federal Agent you must deal with cases like this all the time and yet, you decided that it was so bad that you should end your life rather than seek help. Why was that?” Dr. Clark asked, making notes in the file in front of him as he spoke.

“I don’t really know, I wasn’t thinking straight. If I had been, I would have called Gibbs before I took the shower and done everything right to report the rape, but I didn’t. I guess I’ve always been seen as a ladies man, even though I’m gay and have always known that. I guess part of me was scared that people would think that because of that and the fact that none of them knew I was gay, that I’d asked for it, or it’d been some one night stand gone wrong that I’d turned into a rape or something. Like I said, I wasn’t thinking straight,” Tony said, trying to pinpoint how he’d felt as he’d swallowed the Vicodin and chased them down with Bourbon. He barely remembered doing it and if it had been anyone else but Gibbs who had told him he had, he probably wouldn’t have believed them.

“I see, do you still feel suicidal?” Dr. Clark asked, pen poised to make notes in Tony’s file.

“No, I don’t.”

“Do you feel like hurting yourself or anyone else?”

“No.”

“Do you hear voices in your head telling you to hurt yourself or anyone else?”

“No.” Tony almost joked with him that the only voice in his head was Gibbs telling him to get on with his work, but he didn’t think the head doc would see the funny side, so he stuck with an honest answer.

“Do you feel depressed?”

“Not really, no.”

“Do you have a plan for suicide?”

“No.”

“Did you previously have a plan for suicide?”

“No.”

“Do you feel you are at risk from anyone who may be seeking to hurt you?”

“Only Kamisnski, but that’s because of what I do for a living.”

“I see, and that would be the reason for the marine guarding your door and making everyone show ID before they can enter?”

“Yeah, Gibbs ordered them there when he realised I would be at risk.”

“Okay. Now, I think you need medicating, but I’ll run it past my seniors at the meeting later today, if they agree then we’ll probably start you on a low dose of a drug called Amitriptyline that helps in these cases of sudden trauma, it will help you sleep and should deal with any underlying depression.”

“But I’m not depressed.”

“I think you may be, not by much, but the amount of stress you were under from the injury to your shoulder and then the rape pushed you over the edge and I think one of the causes might be underlying depression so they’ll most likely agree that we need to medicate you, just slightly. You’ll also be required to see me for at least two months after your discharge, just to check you’re getting along okay with the drug and your recovery. Probably once a week will be fine.”

“Okay.”

“Now, as I understand it, you’ve developed a seizure disorder as well as the need for a permanent pacemaker, so you won’t be returning to full time field work any time soon, will you?”

“I don’t know, it all depends on what my boss and the doctors agree on.”

“Right, well, I also know that you’ll need to be cleared by an NCIS approved psychiatrist before you’ll be allowed back on active duty. You’ll need to sign a release form that will allow them to have access to my notes, does that sound okay with you?” Dr. Clark asked Tony. He nodded and the doctor stood up. “I think that’s all for today, I’ll come and see you before your discharge to arrange for your first out patient appointment, and will let your doctor know if my superiors agree about the anti-depressant. It was good talking with you Tony, and thanks for keeping quiet Agent Gibbs,” he said.

“Not a problem,” Gibbs replied, shaking the doctor’s hand once more, before returning his own hand to its place holding Tony’s. The doctor left, leaving Tony and Gibbs alone, an hour had passed and it was now just after nine am, Gibbs would have to leave soon to go to work and see how they were doing in gathering evidence against Kamisnski. For the moment though, he sat with Tony, caressing his hand with his thumb, before leaning forward and placing a kiss on Tony’s lip - gentle and soft.

“What was that for?” Tony asked, a smile on his face.

“You did good, DiNozzo, real good. I’m proud of you,” Gibbs told him. “I have to get to work.”

“I know, wish you didn’t have to leave, but I know you do.”

“I’ll be back this evening, and probably before that if I can get away and I’m always available on the phone, I’ll carry my cell with me at all times.”

“Okay.”

“Love you, Tony,” Gibbs said, softly.

“Love you too, Gibbs.” With that said, Gibbs stood up, walked towards the door and left Tony alone with his thoughts. His main one being how the hell they were going to catch Kamisnski when so many like Gibbs had tried and failed.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Gibbs entered the bullpen later than usual because of staying behind at the hospital with Tony so that he could be there for his appointment with Dr. Clark. He was pleased with how it had gone, the man had seemed to connect with Tony and he was sure that the future appointments would go fine without him being present. Either way, he had work to do so that he could gather enough evidence to prosecute Kamisnski for his role in Tony’s rape.

Ziva and McGee were both already in and working their way through the information they had gathered already on Kamisnski looking for anything they could use against him.

“Got anything?” Gibbs asked them.

“Nothing so far, boss,” McGee replied.

“I may have something,” Ziva said, looking up from the paperwork she was going through.

“And?” Gibbs asked, impatiently.

“It seems that Kamisnski hired Woodman to work in his warehouses two years ago, but fired him when he started to use the product,” Ziva said.

“What was the product?” Gibbs asked.

“Heroin, maybe that is how Woodman got his addiction started,” Ziva told them.

“We’d need to confirm it with Woodman, is he still on the premises?” Gibbs said, speaking to no one in particular.

“No, they took him to central holding about three hours ago,” McGee replied, checking on his computer. “You could talk to him there, they usually are pretty co-operative with the arresting agents.”

“Right, I’m going to go and talk to Woodman, you keep working on solidifying that connection. I want Kamisnski to go down, and I don’t want to give him time to get away with it by putting someone else on the block,” Gibbs told them, heading out the way he came before he even had the chance to take his jacket off.

Central Holding was still in D.C but about a thirty minute drive from the Navy Yard, so Gibbs set out, collecting a cup of coffee from his usual shop first. He thought about phoning Tony to inform him they may have something, but decided against it. He didn’t want to raise Tony’s hopes when it could turn out to be nothing.

The drive took longer than expected because of the midday traffic, which made Gibbs more frustrated than usual and by the time he arrived at Central Holding, he was in desperate need of a good cup of coffee to calm him down. He did not like being stuck in traffic, especially when he had a case going on like the one he was working on at that moment.

He found a coffee shop before going into the Central Holding building, and was sipping that as he arrived at the reception desk. He showed his ID and asked to speak with Petty Officer Woodman who was being held there in seclusion awaiting a trial date.

“I’ll just get the officer in charge of him for you,” the receptionist said, motioning for Gibbs to take a seat. He ignored her and stayed standing at the desk not wishing to be forgotten about. It was imperative that he spoke with Woodman - today - before he lost his nerve and decided not to testify against Kamisnski.

She spoke to someone and kept looking at Gibbs, but said nothing directly to him or about him. She put down the phone and met his eyes. “Officer Carter will be out in a moment, please take a seat,” she said, sternly.

This time, Gibbs didn’t ignore her; he took a seat but planned to get back on her case if the officer in question did not arrive within five minutes. Gibbs was not a patient man. He never had been and when one of his team was hurt, his patience for anything other than finding the persons responsible and hurting them in the same way went out the window. Part of him knew that if they could not get Kamisnski the legal way that he would find a way to make him pay whether it was legal or not - his career be damned. No one hurt his team, his family and got away with it. He also had to work out who was betraying them because someone had tipped Kamisnski off, or his lawyer, as to Tony’s condition following the rape and that person would be made to pay too, once he was sure they could no longer pass on information by firing them.

He sighed as he thought, he would have to contact the Director and bring her up to date on the case some time soon. Now that Tony was out of danger, she would want to know how long his recovery would take and whether or not they needed to bring in a temporary replacement to help on Gibbs’ team. He didn’t like the thought of someone - even temporarily - replacing Tony, but he knew that although he would have a say in it, it was ultimately up to the Director. He just hoped she wouldn’t use his new conditions against him because as Ducky had said, the NCIS medical guidelines had no problem with Tony working as a full time Field Agent, so why should she?

He checked his watch, it had been four and a half minutes since the receptionist had called Officer Carter and he had yet to appear, just as Gibbs was about to get up and ask the receptionist to call him again, a man came through the locked security door and looked around.

“Agent Gibbs?” he called out, looking around the pretty empty room.

“That’s me,” Gibbs said, standing up and walking towards the officer.

“I’m Officer Carter, I’ll take you to an interview room where Petty Officer Woodman is waiting to speak with you,” the officer explained. He checked Gibbs’ ID again and then nodded and led the way out of the waiting area and through the security door.

He was led down a series of corridors before the officer stopped in front of a door labeled “Interview Rooms - Public Access”.

“You’ll have as long as you need, but when you have finished talking with the Petty Officer, press the button on the wall and one of us will come and escort you out. There’s an officer on his side of the room in case he gets violent, so you don’t need to worry. I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask for your weapon, we don’t allow them in interview rooms,” Officer Carter said.

“Fine,” Gibbs replied, handing over both his weapons, “I’d like the interviewed taped with both audio and picture, if possible. I’ll need it for prosecuting in court.”

“We do that anyway as standard.”

“Good, can I sign for a copy when I leave?”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

Gibbs nodded and entered the room, leaving Officer Carter outside. Woodman was sat down on one side of the room, with a table in the middle. Across the top of the table and down the sides was what appeared to be bullet proof glass, or bullet resistant. There were holes in the glass, small enough so that you could hear what the other was saying, but not big enough to pass anything through. Gibbs guess that was to stop anyone smuggling drugs in without it going through the regular checks.

“Agent Gibbs, is there a problem?” Woodman asked.

“No, not with your testimony or anything. The information you’ve given us has proven to be correct so I’ll be sticking to my side of the agreement and put in a good word with the Judge and make sure you get into a good drugs rehabilitation program. The problem is Kamisnski. We can’t find anything that connects the two of you and your statement alone is not enough to prosecute him,” Gibbs explained, taking a seat on his side of the glass.

“How is that my problem?” Woodman asked, looking smug.

“If you can’t provide us with anything but your testimony, the deal is off. You’ll be prosecuted to our full extent. No seclusion, no drug rehabilitation, nothing. You’ll be in the main population of the prison and Kamisnski knows it was you who tipped us off about him so just think about how long you’ll last like that.”

“But…you promised!”

“I can rescind that promise anytime I see fit. Now, tell me about any connections you had with Kamisnski. He must have known you before to know that you were the kind of guy who’d raped an innocent man to get $10,000 worth of heroin. How did he know? He couldn’t have just approached you?”

“He did, he just approached me!”

“You’re lying and I hate liars. If that’s all you have to tell me then I guess it’s time you were taken out of seclusion and put in with the rest of the prison’s population.” Gibbs hand hovered over the button that would signal the end of the interview. He was playing a dangerous game because if he finished the interview now, he had nothing, but if Woodman was as much of a coward as he thought he was then he wouldn’t let Gibbs walk out of here if it meant going into the general prison population.

“No! Wait! I’ll tell you,” Woodman shouted. Gibbs moved his hands so that they were back on the table and raised his eyebrows, waiting for him to continue. “He approached me out of the blue a couple of years ago and asked if I’d like to make some extra money, I agreed and he set me up working on packaging heroin for his dealers. I worked there for about six months and the money was good on top of my Navy wage, but he fired me when I got a taste for the white stuff. He knew I was still trying to hide my addiction from the Navy so when he needed to set something up for your Agent, he contacted me again and said what would I do for $10,000 worth of pure heroin, I said pretty much anything since my wage wasn’t covering my growing habit and it was starting to show in my work. I love the Navy, I don’t want to leave, I guess I have no choice now, but you have to believe I only did it so that I could keep working and support my habit by other means. He said all I had to do was follow the route your Agent normally took for his evening runs and I did for ages after he’d told me the Agent was off sick with a gunshot wound to the shoulder. So I walked the route several times during those weeks, and then I got lucky and caught him off-guard one night and you know the rest.”

“Can you prove you worked there?”

“I still have the wage slips he provided, they have his signature on them.”

“Where are they?”

“Hidden in my room at Norfolk. Open the stereo speakers and you’ll find everything you need.”

“This will prove you had a link to him before the attack was arranged?”

“Yes, I swear, just don’t put me in with the general population.”

“No, I won’t. Our deal still stands. We’ll pick up the wage slips today and if everything works out, you’ll only have to testify about this in court, your testimony should be the final nail in his coffin.”

Gibbs pressed the button that signified the interview was over and while he waited for Officer Carter to get the tapes of the interview for him to take back to NCIS, he called McGee and told him what to do in order to get the evidence they needed to prove Kamisnski had a connection to Woodman - that with the transfer for the heroin in his bank records should be enough to convict him for the hit he arranged on Tony. At least Gibbs hoped it would be.

It took only ten minutes to get what he needed from Central Holding and soon he was back on the road to the Navy Yard. He decided that he could risk a stop at Bethesda to give Tony the good news - that would put a smile on his face.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Gibbs decided to take the stairs to the second floor where Tony’s room was located rather than the elevator. If he had known what was going on in Tony’s room at that precise moment, he would have run up the stairs, not taken them at the leisurely stroll that he did.

When he got to Tony’s floor and headed to the door, the Marine on duty, checked his ID against a list of approved visitors and let him in to see Tony. Tony was laid prone on the bed, gasping behind his oxygen mask and Gibbs’ gut told him immediately that something was wrong.

“What’s wrong, Tony?” he asked, rushing to his side and grasping hold of his hand. His fingers were twisted and stuck out at odd angles, the hand wasn’t broken, but it sure looked like it.

“I don’t know, having problems catching my breath, but the doctor said what he gave me should help,” Tony said, gasping between each breath for air.

“What doctor?” Gibbs asked, his worry level rising.

“He just left, he said he was one of Dr. Foster’s interns and was just giving me some new medication that should help with the heart problems,” Tony explained.

“What new medication? What was it called?”

“Dunno, he just gave it to me in my IV, said it would make all my problems disappear and left.”

The monitor attached to Tony’s chest showed a lowering heart beat, and although Gibbs knew that the pacemaker in his heart would stop it becoming a life threatening problem, he wanted Dr. Foster here to explain everything. He headed outside to the Marine guarding the door. “Get Dr. Foster down here now! And I want the name of the last person in here, did he show hospital ID?”

“Yes, sir,” the Marine said, heading off down the corridor to alert the nurses’ of Gibbs’ request.

Gibbs returned to Tony’s side, one eye on the monitor and the other on the man. His lips were a shade of blue, his fingernails as well. Whatever that ‘doctor’ had given him was certainly causing Tony problems. The monitor that tracked Tony’s vitals was showing a slow pulse, low oxygen saturations and a lowered blood pressure - there was something really wrong and Gibbs didn’t know what to do, he thought it would be best to just keep Tony conscious and talking until Dr. Foster arrived and could assess the situation.

“Tony, stay with me,” Gibbs said, watching as Tony fought to keep his eyes open.

“I…I…it’s dark…I…need…to…sleep,” Tony gasped out.

“No, Tony, you need to stay awake. Dammit, DiNozzo I am not losing you now!”

“Watch…out…Gibbs…the monsters, they…they’ll…they’ll…get…you.”

“What monsters? Tony, open your eyes!” Gibbs shouted, not caring who heard.

“Watch…out!” Tony screamed, before his eyes closed and his body went limp. The monitor showed a flat line and Gibbs guessed that Tony wasn’t breathing. There was no sign of Dr. Foster, so, doing what he had learnt in the Marines, he pulled the pillows out from below Tony’s head so that he was laid flat and started to do mouth to mouth and CPR until someone else arrived to help him.

Dr. Foster chose that moment to saunter in; he took one look at Gibbs working on Tony and called a code. The room flooded with other doctors and nurses and soon Gibbs was pushed back so they could work on his Agent.

It took then two shocks of the defibrillator to get Tony’s heart started again, but his breathing was still reliant on someone breathing for him. They hadn’t ordered an intubation and Gibbs wondered why until Dr. Foster came over to talk to him.

“I don’t know what’s happened, he’s displaying all the signs of a narcotic overdose, but his chart says he hasn’t had anything for at least three hours and nothing in a size large enough to cause this kind of episode,” Dr. Foster said.

“He told me that there was one of your interns came him and gave him something through the IV not five minutes before I arrived, and he was like this when I arrived, only breathing.”

“I don’t have any interns.”

Gibbs’ mind clicked as to what had happened the second he heard that. Kamisnski must have been there to try and finish Tony off, how he got past the Marine on guard he didn’t know, but a search of the surrounding area and the sharps bin for the syringe he used would tell them - and give them enough evidence to prosecute him for attempted murder on a Federal Agent.

“He’s been given heroin,” Gibbs told Dr. Foster quickly, he raised his eyebrows and looked at Gibbs.

“How do you know?”

“Trust me, I know. This is an attempt on his life and unless you do something, it’ll have worked,” Gibbs snapped. The doctor nodded and shouted across the room that they should give Tony Narcan immediately. They pushed it quickly into his IV and after five minutes Tony started breathing on his own, his eyes open.

“Hey, how do you feel?” Gibbs asked him, grabbing his hand amidst the doctors and nurses, he didn’t care who saw him shower affection onto Tony, so long as Tony was okay - that was all that mattered.

“A bit dizzy, and sick, but otherwise fine. A little confused also, what happened?”

“It seems Kamisnski got past the guards and gave you a heroin overdose, we caught it in time though, didn’t we, doc?” Gibbs asked, giving the doctor a questioning look.

The room was emptying of medical personnel and soon it was just Tony, Gibbs and Dr. Foster. “We’ll have to run some tests, but since you came back pretty quickly, I should think they’ll be no further problems,” he said, reassuring Gibbs.

Once Dr. Foster had taken some blood and left, Gibbs used the phone in Tony’s room to call McGee and Ziva and tell them that once they were done at Woodman’s place, to head over to Bethesda and help him figure out what had happened and how on earth Kamisnski had managed to make an attempt on Tony’s life when there was a Marine guarding him. As soon as they were through at the hospital, Gibbs was going to hunt down Kamisnski and bring him in - dead or alive.

~*~

McGee and Ziva arrived at the hospital, having searched and found the relevant documents at Petty Officer Woodman’s room at Norfolk. It took them a while to get to Bethesda, and that was with Ziva driving as fast as McGee’s stomach would allow.

Once they had arrived, Gibbs set them to work in emptying the sharps bin and finding the offending syringe. That meant taking the contents back to Abby for testing of what they had contained and matching any fingerprints with hospital staff. The hope was that Kamisnski had been so confident at not being caught that he wouldn’t have thought to wear gloves and would have left them something to tie him to the attack on Tony.

Tony was sleeping, thanks to a sedative given to him by Dr. Foster, as well as the usual dose of painkillers and anti-sickness medication. Gibbs told them not to disturb him as they worked because his body needed the rest to repair the damage done by the heroin overdose, so they took the sharps bins out of Tony’s room and into the hallway to deal with.

Gibbs had left the Marine in charge of guarding Tony’s door and taken his notes of who had entered Tony’s room that morning between the time he left and the time he returned. He intended to interview every nurse, doctor and orderly on that list until he found the alias that Kamisnski had used and found out why he’d been issued proper hospital ID. He also wanted to know how he’d found out what room Tony was in since that was privileged information, but he blamed either the mole at NCIS or the fact that he had presented himself as a doctor and could have easily convinced someone to part with the information.

Having already spoken to two of the nurses on his list, Gibbs left to find Dr. Hearts who had supposedly been the one to give Tony the injection of heroin. He found him in Cardiology. He was a young looking doctor, a similar age to Kamisnski if he had to guess, he also had similar facial features to Kamisnski, if Gibbs hadn’t known that the man was likely to have disappeared the second he had delivered the near fatal dose to Tony, he would have had his weapon and cuffs at the ready.

“Dr. Hearts? Special Agent Gibbs, do you mind if I have a word about an incident that occurred earlier today on the second floor?” Gibbs asked the man.

“No, that’s fine, I’m about finished here, just give me a moment to write up these notes,” Dr. Hearts replied. “I assume it’ll be best if we discuss it in my office?”

“That would be best, yes,” Gibbs said. He waited for the five minutes it took the doctor to write up whatever notes he needed to and then he followed him down the hall to his office.

“What seems to be the problem, Agent Gibbs?” the doctor asked, taking a seat behind the big mahogany desk and gesturing for Gibbs to take a seat on the other side of it.

“One of my agents has been in the hospital for just under a week. He’s got a Marine guard monitoring who is going in and out of his room for his own protection and today, someone, using your ID, entered and gave him an almost lethal dose of heroin,” Gibbs explained. “Can you tell me how he managed that?”

“I don’t know, I keep my ID here in my office in case…” Dr. Hearts started, before looking for his ID to show to Gibbs. “I can’t seem to find it.”

“Does anyone else have access to this office?”

“Well, my staff do, it’s never locked.”

“So, anyone could have taken it?”

“I guess so.”

“Right. In future, keep your office locked. Thanks for you time,” Gibbs said, not bothering to shake the outstretched hand - because of this man’s incompetence, Tony had nearly died and he wasn’t quite ready to forgive him for that.

He headed back to Tony’s floor and found McGee and Ziva with several needles and syringes in evidence bags, ready to head back to NCIS to give them to Abby for testing. Hopefully, they would turn up some fingerprints as well.

“Let me just look in on Tony and I’ll follow you back,” Gibbs said, before entering Tony’s room. Finding him still asleep, he leant down and kissed his forehead, whispering, “we’ll get him for this, Tony, just you wait and see.”

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Abby was pleased to have something to do - she’d been left out of most of the investigation since her work with tracking down the rapist was over and since then, had been offering to help the team in anyway to help them find, catch and prosecute Kamisnski for his part in Tony’s rape. So, she was pleased when Ziva, McGee and Gibbs arrived back at NCIS and headed straight to her lab with a boatload of evidence.

“You realise it’s going to take me a while to test all of these needles and syringes for what they had in them and fingerprints, don’t you?” she told Gibbs.

Gibbs looked at her and smiled, producing a Caf-Pow from nowhere and giving her a kiss on the head. “Anytime you can get it done is fine for us.”

“Really? I’ve never known you not to rush me,” Abby replied.

“I am rushing you, Abs, we have a small window of time to nail this bastard and now that he’s moved up to attempts on Tony’s life, I’d rather we caught him and had him in Levenworth before he manages to try again,” Gibbs told her, a stern look on his face. Turning to face McGee and Ziva, he said, “I want you two to get on the phone to Bethesda, I want his room number changed, I want to know who asked for his information - either by phone or in person - and I want to know who is leaking information about this case to Kamisnski, the only way he could have known about Tony’s overdose is if someone here told him and I want that person too.”

“On it, boss,” McGee said, leaving the lab and heading for his desk in the bullpen.

“I will call the hospital and get them to fax over the list,” Ziva said, following McGee out of the door.

Once they were alone, Abby stopped what she was doing and looked at Gibbs. “There was an attempt on Tony’s life and you didn’t tell me?” she asked, sounding hurt.

“I’ve only just got here, Abs, when was I supposed to tell you?”

“You can tell me now.”

“Kamisnski somehow got hold of Tony’s room information, got a hospital ID from a doc in Cardiology who doesn’t understand that we are at war and should wear our ID’s at all times because of terrorist attacks and such, whatever. Anyway, he injected enough heroin to cause an overdose into Tony’s IV, which caused some problems, but we caught it quickly enough and he’s going to be fine. His doctor is going to run some blood tests to check, but if all comes out okay, Tony should be home soon where I can keep an eye on him.”

“And screw him senseless,” Abby joked, forgetting for a moment what had happened to Tony to put him in the hospital in the first place.

“You really think I’m only after that?” Gibbs asked, suddenly looking serious.

“Well, no, bossman, I just mean…”

“You don’t mean anything and you didn’t think. Tony was raped, Abby, raped and it destroyed him so much that he took a lethal dose of Vicodin and nearly died, we’re at the early stages of our relationship and to be honest, if I were him I wouldn’t want to sleep with anyone for a long time. Can you really blame him?” Gibbs ranted. He knew it was meant as a joke and that it was the way Abby was, but the throwaway comment had made him see red, especially so close to almost losing Tony again.

“I see your point and I’m sorry. Forgive me?” Abby asked, matching Gibbs’ solemn manner.

“Of course, we’re family, Abs. Just don’t say anything like that to Tony. He has a long recovery ahead of him both physically and mentally and I don’t want anyone to do anything that would impede that recovery. Understand?”

“Yes, bossman. Now let me do my thing and find the syringe with the heroin and Kamisnski’s fingerprints so that you can do your thing and arrest his ass,” Abby said, shooing Gibbs out of the lab. She gave him a wave and a smile as he left and it made Gibbs chuckle. The Goth Forensic Scientist may have many strange attributes, but when it came down to it, she always knew what the right thing to do was, so Gibbs left her to work on getting the evidence they needed to lock Kamisnski away for the rest of his natural life because right then, that was all Gibbs could think about.

When he got up to the bullpen, both McGee and Ziva were immersed in what they were doing. McGee was logging all of Kamisnski’s credit card purchases and cell phone calls onto the computer so that they could see where he most hung out. That way, when the time came to arrest him they’d have some leads on where he might be. They’d already logged the pay slips from Woodman’s place in Norfolk into evidence and once Abby came through for them, they’d have enough to arrest and detain him ��" a thought that put a smile on Gibbs’ face for the first time in a while.

Ziva was making a phone call to the hospital and Gibbs sat at his desk, listening in.

“I know what you said, but I need this today. Yes, it is a matter of life or death,” she said, sounding annoyed.

“…”

“No, do not put me on hold!”

“…”

“Yes, this is Officer David, no it’s pronounced Dah-vid, not Dav-id. I think I know how to say my own name! No, do not put me on hold again!”

“…”

“Thank you, I need a list of all the people who asked for information on Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. He was admitted Monday morning at around 7am and was recently moved to a private room. I need you to move him to another private room and not give anyone who does not have an NCIS ID access to that information, bar his overseeing physician. Also, I will give you a list of the approved people to give that information to that you can put in his file. I need that faxed over to NCIS on the Navy Yard. Thank you,” she said, before hanging up the phone. She turned to look at Gibbs, “that was as easy as turning wine into water.”

“I think you mean ‘water into wine’,” McGee said, his head still down and showing no signs of hearing what they were saying.

“What did they say?” Gibbs asked.

“They will move Tony to a more private room in another wing of the hospital and fax over the information we need, we need to fax over who is allowed that information and that a valid NCIS ID must be shown before access to the information is granted. I am just hoping that nobody screws up and our leak gets ahold of it and lets Kamisnski know where Tony is,” Ziva explained. “Oh, hi, Agent Lee, is there something I can help you with?” she asked, seeing the timid agent to the side of her desk.

“I have the warrants you wanted for Kamisnski’s cell phone records and credit card purchases,” she said, looking nervous.

“You gave them to us earlier,” McGee said, once more not looking up from his screen.

“Oh, I must have forgotten, I’ve just been so worried about Tony and I know how much you guys want to solve this case so I musta gotten side tracked and thought I hadn’t done them.”

McGee gave her a confused look, while Ziva smiled, whereas Gibbs was watching her closely. She left and his eyes followed her as she walked to the elevator and took it to the Legal Department.

Gibbs looked at Ziva, wondering if she too had put together the pieces.

“Ziva, call the hospital again, tell them to move Tony to another room,” he said.

“I just did,” Ziva replied, looking confused.

“Do it, David,” Gibbs grunted, then he got up and pressed the call button for the elevator, then changing his mind, took the stairs. Sometimes he was glad that he followed his gut.

“All I heard was them say they’d moved the target, sir,” a voice whispered. Gibbs un-holstered his weapon and stayed in the shadows so he could hear her talk.

“I only know that he survived your earlier attempt and is doing well. They have the syringes and Abby is testing them now. I suppose I could do that. Yes, I will, sir.”

“…”

“No one suspects me, sir, who would. I’m just a timid agent, remember?”

Gibbs cursed under his breath, but was glad he’d arranged for Ziva to move Tony again, now that he’d heard what he’d heard.

“You’ll need to get NCIS ID this time, sir, or they won’t allow you to have the information and only a few select Agents will have access. Of course, I will find out who they are and get you a copy of their ID.”

“…”

“Should only take me a couple of hours at the most.”

“…”

“Always a pleasure working with you, sir. I look forward to seeing the payment in my account.” She hung up the phone and looked around to check no one had heard her. She didn’t see Gibbs in the shadows and she moved to climb the stairs to the Legal Department so that she wouldn’t be missed.

Gibbs chose that moment to put his sig on the back of her head. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t pull the trigger, Agent Lee,” he said, his voice harsh and stern.

“I…I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Agent Lee stammered.

“I heard your whole conversation. You’re the leak. Now, put your hands above your head while I frisk you.”

He watched her do as she was told, then pulled out his cell phone and dialed the office. McGee picked up. “Get down to level one, use the stairs. I’ve found our mole.”

Chapter Forty

McGee and Ziva moved quickly, exiting the bullpen and heading for the stairs. They both took precautions as the traveled down the stairs, guns drawn in case the mole - whoever they were - managed to get out of Gibbs’ aim or had a weapon themselves.

Once they got down to level one and saw Gibbs pointing his sig at Agent Lee’s head, they both wondered for a moment that maybe Gibbs had lost it. It wasn’t until he saw them and threw a cell phone at McGee that they realised he was totally sane and Agent Lee was their mole.

“I heard her call someone - I think Kamisnski - on that, I want the recent calls pulled up and see if you can get a location on him so that once we’re done here we can go and arrest him with the knowledge that this time he won’t get away, not even with a slick, fancy lawyer,” Gibbs told McGee, whilst still holding his weapon in Agent Lee’s direction.

She looked nervous, almost timid and it was hard to believe that all this time she had been pulling the wool over their eyes and had been feeding information to the man responsible for Tony’s rape. She must have told him Tony’s room number and suggested a doctor from whom to steal the ID and gotten him access to the hospital. She was ultimately responsible for Tony almost dying. She was the reason Kamisnski had known about Tony’s overdose - it had gone round NCIS like fire when they’d first found out, despite attempts to keep it within their circle. It was all making sense now, with Agent Lee feeding him information from the inside, Kamisnski would have known about every aspect of their case against him - seeing as she was the one they went to so that they could get warrants to procure information about him.

“Ziva, cuff her and take her to interrogation. I want you to let as few people know she’s been arrested, if Kamisnski thinks his mole is still running free then he’s less likely to actually run yet,” Gibbs said. Ziva did as she was asked and handcuffed Agent Lee.

“I will take the back route to the interrogation rooms, less people to go past,” Ziva replied, grabbing Agent Lee by the shoulders and pushing her out of the range of Gibbs’ gun and towards the back route to the interrogation rooms.

Gibbs lowered and holstered his weapon once she was out of eye sight and then looked at McGee. “What are you still doing here? I gave you a job to do and I expect you to do it, NOW!” he shouted, McGee looked scared, nodding and then ran back up the stairs in the direction of the bullpen.

Gibbs sighed and put his head in his hands. How could they have been so stupid as to not suspect Agent Lee in the first place? She had means, opportunity and by the sounds of her phone call, motive ��" though he didn’t know what yet, he would sure he would find out during the interrogation. He took several deep breaths to calm himself, before following the route that Ziva took with Agent Lee and heading to the interrogation rooms, he needed to do the interview fast before Kamisnski found out that his mole had been caught and ran from wherever he was hiding.

He went into the Observation room and found Ziva in there, watching Agent Lee sweat while she waited for her interview to start. “I would never have guessed it was her,” Ziva said.

“Nor me, but now we have her and it all makes sense. She had the means to see what we were doing in Kamisnski’s case and the opportunity to contact him. Today was a planned visit, she knew we already had those warrants, she just wanted to overhear what was going on with Tony so she could pass it along to her boss.”

“Tony’s been moved to yet, another private room. They weren’t too happy about it but they did it, they’ll fax the information over and I told McGee to look out for it so the chances of that falling into the wrong hands is minimal,” Ziva said, bringing Gibbs up to speed.

“Good, I’ll look it over after I’m done here. He still has the guards on his door, right?”

Ziva nodded. Gibbs smiled and then headed out of the Observation room and made his way to Interrogation room one.

Agent Lee jumped when he slammed the door and placed a file on the desk in front of her. It contained all the information they had on the mole and their doings so far. Agent Lee was looking at some time in prison, whether she co-operated or not.

“Anything you want to tell me before we start?” Gibbs asked.

“I would never willingly help someone hurt an agent, I love my job, I love the Navy and I would never let our government down,” Agent Lee replied, trying to sound confident.

“Yet, you did. Shortly, we’ll have a warrant to check your bank accounts and see just how long you’ve been feeding Kamisnski information about Tony’s case and Tony himself. How else could he have known the route Tony took when he went running? How else could he have known that Tony took an overdose following his attack? How else could he have known which room Tony was in and which ID was easiest to steal? You’ve been very busy, Agent Lee and I don’t mean that in a good way.”

“He forced me!”

“What? To take money so that you could betray a valuable colleague and your country? He forced you to take that money, huh?”

“He told me if I didn’t then things would happen to my family.”

“Cut the crap and the ‘poor little me’ act too, I know from your phone call that you enjoyed your work with Kamisnski, you were more than happy to help him. I just want to know why.”

“Tony brought it on himself,” she said, dropping the act. “If he hadn’t treated me like a spare part that he always forgot about when he was team leader I wouldn’t have been so willing to feed Kamisnski information about him.”

“You’re harbouring a grudge that’s at least two years old?”

“You weren’t here. You don’t know how he treated me. He came back from Europe and had brilliant presents for everyone, but me. Me, he gave his old stapler and tried to make me believe that it was something special for his ‘Probie’. He should have left Kamisnski alone, but no, he had to push it, he had to keep trying to get him on charges that had nothing to do with him. He deserved his punishment, and I’m proud to know I had a part in that.”

It took all of Gibbs’ strength to not throttle the agent across from him for what she was saying about Tony, but at least now he had answered his questions about what her motive could be.

“Tony is a fair man, he did not deserve to be raped,” Gibbs said, as calmly as possible.

“Oh, but you’re only saying that because he’s your life partner now. If you’d seen the way he treated me you would have understood why I acted the way I did. He let Ziva come in late every day and never questioned her. My car broke down one day and I was five minutes late to the office and he almost ripped me a new one about how I was new to being a Special Agent and I needed to get with the program. I would love to see the look on his face when he realises how good an agent I actually am. He didn’t notice me following him for weeks on end to get his running routes, he didn’t notice me downloading the information on his computer about Kamisnski, he’s not much of an agent if he couldn’t even work out he was being followed!”

“Tony is the best damn agent I’ve ever worked with.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” Agent Lee spat.

“The only reason you would have failed on his team is because of your own shortcomings, not his as a leader,” Gibbs said, then stopped because he realised he was playing her game and getting drawn into an argument about Tony’s capabilities which is what she wanted. “I’m going to charge you, then send you to Central Holding where you’ll stay until your trial. If you can convince me to be nice, I may even put you in seclusion considering Federal Agents are liked that much at Central Holding,” Gibbs said, changing the subject back to the matter at hand.

“I don’t care what you do to me. I know that my boss will manage to catch up with your precious Tony soon and then he won’t live to tell the tale.”

“You’ll care when you meet some of your fellow inmates.”

“Kamisnski’s lawyers will have me out in a few hours.”

“Oh, you really believe that he’s going to stick by you now that because of you we’ll be able to prosecute him to the full extent of our powers?”

“Of course,” she said, but her voice didn’t sound as confident as she’d tried to make it.

“Now who’s the one dreaming?” Gibbs said, with a smile on his face. He read Agent Lee her rights, then arranged for her to be moved to Central Holding. Now all they had to do was track down Kamisnski and bring him in and this time he wouldn’t be leaving.

Chapter Forty-One

When Gibbs arrived back up in the bullpen, McGee has something for him. “I can link Agent Lee’s last phone call to a place where Kamisnski is known, he’s probably still there waiting for her to call him back and with this and the other evidence we have, it’s likely we’ll be able to make a charge stick this time and have him held without bail,” McGee told Gibbs.

Gibbs smiled. “Good job, McGee. Where’s Ziva? We need to move on this now!”

“She’s just getting the arrest warrant from Legal, who have been asking whether we know where Agent Lee is. I told them she was sent home sick so as not to alert anyone to the fact that we’d found our mole. You’ve sent her to Central Holding, haven’t you?” McGee asked.

“Yes, she’s on her way there now, good thinking with Legal, we don’t need anyone tipping off Kamisnski that we have our mole.” Gibbs started to prepare his things so that once Ziva appeared with the warrant they would be able to move straight away and hopefully find and arrest Kamisnski on the charges laid out in the warrant.

He pulled out his jacket, holster and ID and put them all on in the right places, he watched McGee do the same and when Ziva arrived with the warrant, he was surprised to see her dressed up and ready to go. His team had anticipated this move and that made him all the more glad that they worked for him.

“Come on, this man has had it coming for a long time,” he said as he headed to the elevator with his capable team following him. The only person missing was Tony, but hopefully in a month or two that would no longer be the case - which reminded Gibbs that he still had to speak to the Director about when Tony could return to work. That would have to wait until the next time he was in the Navy Yard because right now, he had a criminal to put behind bars where he should have been days ago.

~*~

They came across Kamisnski quite by surprise really, as if the god of luck was looking down on them and giving them what they needed to help Tony out after giving him so much bad luck. He was at the same place from where he’d phoned Agent Lee to collect her information and give her new instructions.

Seeing him in the window, Gibbs ducked back and mouthed to McGee and Ziva that one of them should cover the back and the other the front of the café whilst Gibbs himself went in and served the warrant. He was looking forward to placing tight cuffs on the man who had ordered the rape of his partner.

He entered the café, not looking at Kamisnski and trying to pass himself off as a regular customer so as not to arouse suspicion to make the man run, he would wait until he was sure his team were covering all the exists before serving the warrant.

“What can I get for you, sir?” the lady behind the counter asked.

“Large coffee, black, to go, please,” Gibbs said, keeping his voice low so that Kamisnski couldn’t hear him over the conversations going on around the café. He took the coffee from the lady and paid her, again with only a nod as a thank you so that Kamisnski wouldn’t hear his voice, see him and run.

He sauntered his way to where Kamisnski was sitting, working on his laptop and oblivious to the fact that three NCIS Agents had him surrounded and this time, even his lawyers couldn’t help him. He whispered his position in to the comms unit in his sleeve and waited to hear back from McGee and Ziva that they were also in position before he dared approach Kamisnski.

“In position,” he whispered, making it seem like the most natural thing in the world.

“Same here, boss,” McGee said over the comms unit.

“I am ready,” Ziva told him. It was time to make their move and bring this bastard down.

“On my count,” Gibbs hissed. “One… two…three. Federal Agents! Drop your weapon!” Gibbs shouted across the café, his sig aimed at the back of Kamisnski’s head.

Ziva and McGee entered from their positions and had their guns drawn. They made their way through the café to cover Gibbs and secure the man in question.

Kamisnski didn’t say much as they read him his rights and handcuffed him - the whole time, Gibbs kept his sig pointed at the back of his head. He did seem surprised that they had found him, but said nothing until they had him in the back of the car on their way to the Navy Yard.

“I suppose something has happened to Special Agent DiNozzo for you to sweep down and arrest me like this,” he said, smoothly.

“You know full well what happened to Agent DiNozzo, you ordered it,” Gibbs told him.

“I have to admire your persistence, Agent Gibbs, but I’m afraid this is classed as harassment, and if you’re not careful you may find yourself in a similar situation to the one Agent DiNozzo is in now,” Kamisnski said, a smug grin on his face. Gibbs wanted to reach back and wipe it off his face, but he also knew if he did that there was a chance that Kamisnski’s lawyers would have something against him and find a way to get him released on bail and he did not want that, so he left it alone and said nothing more.

“I am intrigued as to how you found me. Been using warrants, I hope at least, to track my credit card and cell phone calls?” he asked, speaking to no one in particular.

“If I were you, Kamisnski, I’d take advantage of the right to remain silent before you finish digging your own grave,” Gibbs replied, refusing to look in the rear view mirror and meet Kamisnski’s gaze.

“Finish? How do you know I’ve even started?” Kamisnski asked Gibbs, goading him and desperate for the old Federal Agent to react.

“Trust me on this one, you’ll be lucky to see the light of day again when we’re finished with you and not even your fancy lawyers will help you get out of it.”

“That’s what you said last night, and yet, there I was, in a café enjoying a nice cup of Cinnamon Dolce Latte and you have to arrest me again,” Kamisnski said, goading again, but he seemed to be enjoying himself.

“Oh, this time you’ll be going nowhere. Your stunt at the hospital produced witnesses that could identify you out of a line up. I’d put the shovel down now and wait until you have a lawyer to advise you,” Gibbs said, wearing his own smug grin.

Kamisnski said nothing more as they drove to the Navy Yard. Once they were there, Ziva and McGee took him down to Interrogation and watched him through the two-way mirror in the observation room. Gibbs had gone to get coffee and let Kamisnski sweat because he was pretty damn sure that this time, he’d get his man.

Chapter Forty-Two

Gibbs wanted Kamisnski to sweat while he waited for Gibbs to begin the interrogation. He’d already called his lawyer - again with Ziva dialling the number to be sure he wasn’t actually calling a hit on either Woodman or DiNozzo. Mr. Cross appeared at NCIS within minutes, suggesting that he’d either been close by or had rushed over. He was escorted down to interrogation and was allowed to be briefed by his client in private, before Gibbs even thought about starting the interview.

The whole process took about thirty minutes, giving Gibbs enough time to finish his coffee and send McGee out to get him another. He thought about calling the hospital to tell Tony the good news, but realised he couldn’t for a number of reasons; one being that he didn’t know Tony’s room number, another that he couldn’t get said room number without showing ID, which he couldn’t do over the phone. Finally, because he’d done that last time and Kamisnski had gotten away, he didn’t want to get Tony’s hopes up, only to have them dashed again if Kamisnski got out again.

Now they had the mole, the amount of information Kamisnski had would be limited and they had a hidden card from him because he didn’t yet know that Lee was in their custody. He also didn’t know that Gibbs had a recording of Lee’s half of the phone call to Kamisnski which would prove to be damning in court, what with Lee, Woodman and Tony’s testimonies on top. This man was going to be dishonourably discharged from the Navy and spend the rest of his days as an inmate in Levenworth.

Gibbs took a gulp of his lukewarm coffee, finishing it off and dumped it in the nearest bin. Cross and Kamisnski had finished talking and were now awaiting his arrival. He’d been watching them through the two-way mirror in the observation room ever since they’d finished talking privately. Kamisnski didn’t look worried, but his body language gave away that he was…extremely. He didn’t know what he was being charged with and he also didn’t know how they’d found him - his cell phone had been switched off at the time. Gibbs wanted him like that, he wanted him to feel unsure about what was going on, because then maybe he’d have the tiniest idea of how Tony had felt following the rape.

Gibbs had to train his brain to not look at the man behind the mirror as the guy who’d ordered Tony’s attack and rape. He had to view him as just another criminal who’d broken Federal law, if he didn’t he was sure to slip up and make a mistake - one that could cost them in court and he didn’t want him to get away because of that.

He got McGee and Ziva into the interrogation room to brief them before he started. “I want everything recorded, audio, visual…you name it, I want it recorded. I want the chain of evidence preserved on everything, you get given something, you sign for it. Understand?” he said, before his cell phone started to ring.

“Gibbs,” he answered. He listened to Abby talk and explain what she’d found and then told her to bring it to him in the observation room ��" preserving the evidence and chain of evidence because it was important that they didn’t slip up here.

Gibbs shut his cell phone and looked at McGee and Ziva, “that was Abby, seems she found something on one of the syringes and needles, she’s bringing it down now.”

They both nodded, having guessed as much from hearing Gibbs’ side of the conversation, and waited in silence until the Goth Forensic Scientist appeared in the observation room.

“What you got, Abs?” Gibbs asked, pen at the ready to sign the chain of evidence form so that he could present it to Kamisnski if needed.

“I found some pure heroin in the needle shaft, matched it to this syringe that still had traces of heroin in it, compared the two and it was the same match of heroin, so that linked them together. I also dusted for prints and came up with one partial and a full one that matches Kamisnski. Am I good or what?” Abby said, a grin on her face.

“You’re the best, Abs,” Gibbs told her, giving her a kiss on the forehead. They had him now for the recent attempt on Tony’s life. If they couldn’t prosecute for ordering the rape of a Federal Agent, they’d still get him for attempted murder - which was enough for Gibbs, and hopefully, Tony too.

Gibbs signed the chain of evidence form, grabbed the file they’d made of all of Kamisnski’s crimes and information they had on him. It included the phone call he’d made to Agent Lee, as well as Lee’s statement, the pay slips from Woodman, Woodman’s statement that he gave to Gibbs at Central Holding and the statement of various nurses and orderlies that had seen him enter Tony’s room the day of the attempted murder. It was a large file, but was it large enough to prosecute him? That was the question and Gibbs could only hope the answer was yes.

He entered the interrogation room under the watchful eye of both Cross and Kamisnski. His face was stern and it gave nothing away or at least Gibbs hoped it didn’t. He sat down across the table from the men and set down the file containing all the evidence. The contaminated syringe and needle were settled in his pocket in an evidence bag and Abby’s report had been slipped into the file for future reference.

“I can tell you’re wondering why you’re here, aren’t you?” Gibbs asked, keeping his face unreadable.

“I assume it’s because more accusations have been made concerning me being behind Agent DiNozzo’s rape, which, as my lawyer said, is a fruitless cause. I’ve already been interviewed on that and you have no proof that I’m even linked to it bar the say of a man who’s an admitted rapist and drug user,” Kamisnski replied.

“We didn’t have proof, but we sure do now,” Gibbs told him, resisting the urge to give him a smug grin.

Kamisnski visibly paled. He leant over and whispered something into his laywer’s ear. His lawyer listened and then nodded.

“Is there anyway we can come to a deal? Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski has fought for his country several times since he joined up - the most recent being tours in Iraq, surely this should be taken into consideration when he’s prosecuted,” Mr. Cross asked, a severe smile on his face.

Gibbs shook his head. “What could he have that we would want? As far as we are concerned he will be prosecuted to the full extent of our power.”

“What are you charging me with?” Kamisnski asked, regaining some of his confidence.

“Arranging the attack and rape of a Federal Agent,” Gibbs started.

“But I already told you, I don’t know the man responsible and what jury or judge for that matter is going to believe a drug addict!”

“We have some pay slips from when Petty Officer Woodman worked for you at one of your warehouses,” Gibbs told him, pulling out the pay slips from the file. They were in another evidence bag ��" a see through one ��" but you could obviously make out Kamisnski’s signature. “You remember signing these?”

“That’s not my signature!” he protested.

“Well, if it isn’t then you’ll be happy to sign a piece of paper for us to send away for handwriting analysis, won’t you?”

Kamisnski panicked at the thought and shook his head.

“Thought not, so now we have his testimony, the money trail from where you paid him $10,000 in pure heroin to convict you of that. Anything you’d like to add?” Gibbs asked. He was actually enjoying this interrogation, knowing full well that there was nothing Kamisnski or his fancy lawyer could do to get him out of this one.

“If I confess to that, what kind of deal can you get me?” he asked.

“Jonathon,” his laywer warned.

“Shut up, David. I know what I’m doing!”

“I already told you, there is no deal on the table,” Gibbs repeated. “You’re not linked to anyone we want, you’re the person we want. Nothing more, nothing less.”

Gibbs could see Kamisnski’s act start to come apart and decided that now was the time to throw in the secret bombshell he’d been holding on to since Kamisnski’s arrest.

“Add to those charges, the attempted murder of said Federal Agent and you’re looking at life.”

“I don’t know anything about that.”

“This needle and syringe, found with pure heroin still in the chamber and shaft, with your fingerprints all over it, begs to differ,” Gibbs told him, placing the needle and syringe - in clear evidence bags - on the table in front of him.

Kamisnski cursed under his breath.

“I’d advise you to wear gloves next time you try to kill a Federal Agent, especially when his boss turns up not a minute after you’ve left and manages to reverse the effect of the drug before any damage was done.”

Kamisnski cursed again and started to sweat. He kept looking at his lawyer for advice that would get him out of this situation. His lawyer only gave him blank looks.

“On top of that, we found our mole and she’s agreed to testify against you in exchange for a lighter sentence,” Gibbs said, adding the final blow.

“Shit, fuck, shit. He should have left well alone! I only did it to tell him to back off! He brought this on himself! He should have just left me alone!” Kamisnski ranted. His lawyer thought about saying something, but instead chose to roll his eyes.

Gibbs got up and started to read Kamisnski his Article 41 rights and handcuffed him, he motioned through the two-way mirror for McGee and Ziva to join him and they led Kamisnski - who was still ranting about how Tony should have just left well alone - away.

They finally had him. Now was the time to go to Tony and tell him so that they could celebrate.

Chapter Forty-Three

Gibbs entered the bullpen to find Ziva, McGee and Abby all waiting for him. He looked at his desk where there was a cup of coffee with a big red bow around it - a present from Abby no doubt. He picked it up and took a long gulp, his mouth was dry from all the talking he had done during the interrogation.

“What was that for, Abs?” he asked, once he had swallowed the coffee in his mouth.

“For catching and putting that bastard away where he belonged!” Abby told him, giving him an excited hug.

“I had help, McGee was the one to track him down and without them I would never have gotten him,” Gibbs admitted. He wanted to make sure that his team got the praise that they deserved.

“He has gone to Central Holding. I escorted him to the van myself,” Ziva told him.

“Was he still spouting that crap about how it was Tony’s fault?” Gibbs asked.

“Yes, and that if it was the last thing he did, he would have his revenge,” Ziva replied.

“Tony’ll be fine once he’s out of the hospital and staying with me. Kamisnski will be lucky to see the light of day again, with what we have on him,” Gibbs said, reassuring the team. “Still, I’ll keep protection detail on him until he’s out of the hospital, it’s too public and too many people could have access to him, especially after that last attempt.”

“When’s he coming home?” Abby asked Gibbs, figured the bossman was likely to know more than any of them.

“I’m not sure, he’s been in for almost a week now and has made giant steps towards his recovery, they may let him out this week or keep him for another week. I don’t really know, I should go and see him - tell him the good news,” Gibbs replied, before putting down his coffee so that he could get his coat on along with his gun and badge. After what he’d found in Tony’s hospital room the last time he’d been there, he was taking no chances. He picked back up the coffee and headed to the elevator.

“Only call me if it’s life or death,” he called back to his team as he entered the elevator and pressed the button for the parking garage.

~*~

When Gibbs got to the reception desk at Bethesda Naval Hospital, he showed his ID and asked which room Special Agent DiNozzo had been moved to.

“I have to phone someone to check your ID, is that okay?” the receptionist asked.

Gibbs nodded, he was glad to see that the new security precautions had been put into practice following the attack on Tony. He waited and then the receptionist turned back round from making her phone call.

“That all checked out, Agent Gibbs, he’s in this room,” she said, handing him a slip of paper so that no one could accidentally over hear the room number. “You’ll need to show ID to the Marine guarding him, okay?”

“Thanks, I’ll do that. Have a good day,” Gibbs said to her, leaving the desk and heading to the elevator that would take him to the fourth floor where Tony now was.

He was in room 492, the numbering in the hospital confused him, but he was sure there was a reason for it all. Right then, he didn’t care about why they called a room on the second floor 457 and a room on the fourth floor 492, maybe the four wasn’t the floor where it was located but the wing it was in. Whatever the reason, he didn’t care enough to ask. He just wanted to get to Tony and share his good news with him.

The elevator pinged and the doors opened on the fourth floor, Gibbs strode out and made his way along the corridor to find Tony’s room - it was easy to spot because of the Marine guarding the door. He doubted many other people in the hospital had a Marine guard. The Marine smiled when he stopped.

“Agent Gibbs, I just need to see some ID,” he said, recognising Gibbs from the time he’d spent with Tony before they moved rooms. After all, Gibbs had spent every night since Tony’s admittance sleeping on a cot in Tony’s room.

Gibbs showed him the ID and the Marine studied it, checking the photo against Gibbs’ face and after a few minutes, he handed it back to Gibbs and moved out of the way so he could enter the room. Once Gibbs was inside, he saw the guard stand back over the door so that no one could sneak past him.

Tony was sleeping when Gibbs approached the bed, he sat in the chair that he had come to think of as his place when visiting Tony - apart from the cot in the corner, it was where he spent most of his time, their hands entwined so that Tony knew the older man was with him and would die rather than let anything happen to him.

“I was sleeping,” Tony said, waking when Gibbs took hold of his hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze.

“I know, but I have some news for you that can’t wait,” Gibbs replied, brushing the hair out of Tony’s eyes.

“That makes two of us then,” Tony said, a grin on his face.

“Oh? What’s your news?” Gibbs asked, hoping it was something good about Tony’s recovery.

“Do you not see something missing from my usual ensemble of tubes and wires?”

“You still have the heart monitor and the cath… Wait, the catheter’s gone!”

“Yep, I can now pee all by myself!”

“What does this mean in terms of your recovery?” Gibbs asked, trying to not get too excited until he’d heard the full story.

“Basically, I saw Dr. Foster this morning and he said that I was fine following the overdose of heroin that Kamisnski gave me and that it was time to see how well my kidneys were doing, so they took the catheter out and I’ve been able to pee several times so he said that because of that, I don’t have to worry about permanent damage to my kidneys and they’ve recovered from the Vicodin overdose. My blood work showed that my liver is recovering, but I still have to take my pills for a while longer. He said that since it’s the weekend, I only have to stay till Monday and then I can go home - so long as nothing goes wrong between now and then,” Tony explained, grinning.

“That’s great news!” Gibbs replied, “but I have the cherry on top.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, we got Kamisnski, there were fingerprints on the syringe he used and the same batch of heroin in both the needle and syringe, so Abby matched them and we got him on attempted murder of a Federal Agent. We also found the mole and arrested her and sent her to Central Holding - in seclusion, the same as Woodman so that we don’t ‘lose’ any witnesses between now and the trial. He was pissed off to be caught out at his own game, but it looks like we have enough evidence to prosecute him for the illegal trading, the hit on you, hiring Agent Lee to feed him information and the attempted murder,” Gibbs told him.

“Wait! It was Agent Lee?!” Tony said, looking shocked.

“Yeah, it seems she holds some kind of grudge against you for treating her like a probie when you led the team while I was away.”

“Man, I thought she liked me.”

“I know, Tony, I didn’t suspect her until she appeared with double copies of warrants we already had and listened in to Ziva’s conversation about where you were being moved to.”

“Is that why I was moved a second time?”

“Yeah, I had to be sure you were safe and Kamisnski couldn’t get to you.”

“I appreciate it, the first room sucked, the second room sucked too, but this one is pretty fine, not the mention the nurses…” Tony started.

Gibbs reached up and gently slapped him across the head.

“Hey! What was that for?” Tony asked, rubbing the back of his head.

“What did I tell you about wandering eyes?” Gibbs asked, a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, ok, got it boss.”

“If you’re coming home on Monday, I should get the spare room ready really, hadn’t I?” Gibbs said, changing the subject.

“I thought I’d be sleeping with you,” Tony replied, looking confused.

“If you want to, I didn’t want to assume because you’re getting over being raped and I wasn’t sure if you were ready to share a bed with a man yet,” Gibbs told him. “If you want to, that’s fine, but I’ll make up the spare bed incase you can’t for a while, okay?”

“Okay.”

Tony leaned back against the pillows and yawned, Gibbs started to run his thumb in circles on the back of Tony’s hand and slowly he watched his partner fall asleep again. With Kamisnski in jail, the rapist caught and the mole found and dealt with, maybe they could rest easy - but that wasn’t Gibbs’ style. He’d be on full alert until the trial was over and he knew for sure that none of them would appear in Tony’s life again. Then he would relax, but until then, he was going to display constant vigilance, whether it was needed or not.

Chapter Forty-Four

Gibbs spent most of the weekend at the hospital with Tony, when he wasn’t needed at the Navy Yard to tie up loose ends. There were no more interrogations to conduct, all the people responsible had been caught and placed in Central Holding - where they would stay until a trial date had been set.

It was nice to spend time with Tony as he got better, he was able to walk around a little now and hadn’t had a seizure since he’d been in ICU, the drugs seemed to be doing their job. His psychiatrist had contacted Dr. Foster to tell him that his superiors agreed that Tony should be started on a low dose of Amitrypline just for the next couple of months to help him deal with what had happened to him and ultimately the overdose that followed. Tony had protested slightly, but there really wasn’t much he could do. If he wanted to go home on Monday, he had to follow the doctor’s instructions so he took the little pill when they dished it out to him, along with some for his liver and the anti-seizure meds.

Dr. Clark had arranged to see Tony on Monday afternoon after he’d been discharged and this would be the first appointment that Tony went to alone. He was a little worried about it, but he knew that Gibbs would take him, wait for him and bring him home so he wasn’t really going through it alone. Just the actual talking bit would be hard.

By the time Monday rolled around, Gibbs was ready to sleep in his own bed. He’d taken the day off work - using up one of his many accrued personal days so that he could stay with Tony throughout the day and make sure he was okay with living with Gibbs and if he had any problems, they could be dealt with then and not when Gibbs returned from work.

Dr. Foster appeared bright and early at ten am to discharge Tony. The monitors had already been detached, the IV’s removed and he looked like a normal person for the first time in a week. Dr. Foster gave him a once over, checking his pulse, oxygen saturations and everything to make sure that Tony really was ready to be discharged from the hospital.

“I think that’s everything. You’ve made a great recovery, Tony, just remember that you’ll have limitations on what you’re able to do now, some things that seemed easy before will make you out of breath from the damage to your heart. You need to avoid getting too stressed out as they can trigger seizures, which I’m sure you don’t want. Remember to take your drugs, pain killers as well if you need them and don’t be afraid to ask for help. The rest of your recovery begins now and it’s up to you whether it’s easy or not,” Dr. Foster told Tony, his voice solemn.

“He’ll do as he’s told,” Gibbs replied, throwing a glare at Tony.

“Yes, boss.” Dr. Foster and Gibbs shared a laugh as Tony hobbled over to the wheelchair provided and sat down.

“I say this to all my patients, but I really mean it with you, I hope I never see you again, Tony, especially in the state you were in this time last week,” Dr. Foster said, smiling.

Tony nodded and Gibbs threw the bag of things Tony had accumulated over his stay in hospital over his shoulder and pushed the wheelchair out of the room. The Marine on guard planned to escort them to the door and into Gibbs’ car so that no one could get to them during the time when they were most vulnerable.

Once they were in the car, Gibbs headed towards his house, driving at a slower speed than normal, because the last thing he wanted was to cause Tony any pain. He’d been given mild painkillers for his gunshot wound in his shoulder - they wouldn’t allow him to take home narcotics after what he’d done with the last batch - as well as some anti-nausea tablets should he need them.

They stopped at a pharmacy to collect the scripts. It was a drive through which meant that neither Tony nor Gibbs had to leave the safety of the vehicle. That took fifteen minutes, giving them four hours at home before they would have to set out again for Tony’s outpatient appointment with the shrink.

They got to Gibbs’ house and Gibbs made Tony stay in the car with the doors locked and his head low, while Gibbs checked the house and took in both the meds and Tony’s bag. He’d gone back to Tony’s apartment over the weekend to grab some supplies that would keep Tony happy while he was staying there and if they made it permanent there was always room for more. They just had to take it one small step at a time.

Gibbs entered the house and checked every room, his gun drawn, and told himself that from now on he would have to remember to lock the door every time he entered and left the house. Not with Kamisnski on Tony’s back, despite being in jail, they had no way to know how long a reach that man had. Once he was sure the house was clear, he went out to get Tony and help him into the house and into bed - he may have been discharged but that was on the condition that he rested.

“My bed or the spare room?” Gibbs asked, supporting Tony as he made his way into the house.

“Your bed, I want to wake up next to you,” Tony replied, giving a weak smile as he carried on hobbling. It surprised him how little he had to do before he was tired. He’d only walked from the car to the door and to the bedroom and already he could feel his tired eyes fighting to stay open.

“You look wiped out,” Gibbs observed as he helped Tony lay down on the bed. He removed his shoes and socks and laid a thin comforter over him so he didn’t get cold. “We’ve got about four hours until we have to leave for your appointment, why don’t you get a couple of hours sleep then we’ll see about getting some food into you.”

Tony only had the strength to nod, he felt so weak, so pathetic considering what he’d done, but the doc had tried to warn him, next time, he’d listen to them. He closed his eyes, as he felt Gibbs stroke his thumb along the back of his hand and fell into a deep sleep.

~*~

They arrived at the outpatient facility with ten minutes to spare and that was with Gibbs’ sedate driving because he was still wary of hurting Tony by driving too fast. He’d managed to get him to eat some soup with bread and then watched as he took some pain and anti-nausea medication, which made him feel sleepy all over again. He didn’t have time to go back to bed so Gibbs had let him sleep the way to the outpatient facility.

They walked in together, Tony leaning some of his weight onto Gibbs because he still felt exhausted by the smallest movements. Gibbs led Tony to the closest chair and went to book him in. He was told to wait until Tony’s name was called and that the doctor would be with him shortly.

In all, it took only five minutes until Dr. Clark called Tony’s name.

“Tony DiNozzo?” she called.

“Yeah,” Tony said, standing up and hobbling over to the room where Dr. Clark was stood. He noticed Gibbs and smiled at the man, glad that he hadn’t tried to follow Tony into this appointment. He closed the door and took a seat opposite Tony behind a big, pine desk.

“How have you been since our last session, Tony?” Dr. Clark asked.

“Tired, I only came out of hospital this morning and everything I do seems to wear me out. I had to sleep for two hours once we got to Gibbs’ place, then we ate and came here. I know it’s because of the damage done to my heart, but it will get better won’t it?” Tony replied, sounding worried.

“Does it worry you that it won’t?”

“Yeah, I mean, I know Gibbs and Ducky have made it perfectly clear that my new conditions won’t stop me being a full time Field Agent, but what if I’m just too tired and can’t do my job?”

“What would you do instead?”

“I don’t know, I think I’d go crazy if I couldn’t work where I am. I love that job, I’m good at it and it’s a big part of my life.”

“How’s the Amitrypline working for you?”

“I don’t think it’s actually doing anything, it seems like a pointless tablet to take.”

“Well, it can take about two weeks for it to have an effect, so I’d like you to continue on it just until we can see if it does make a difference.”

“What about work though?”

“What about it?”

“What am I going to do if I can’t go back? I couldn’t cope with that.”

“Would it make you consider suicide again?”

“I…I don’t know.”

“Okay, now here’s what I want you to do. I want you to list what you excel at, including anything that you do at work now, or have done in the past and then we’ll discuss that further next session okay?” Dr. Clark said.

They talked about other things for the rest of his one hour session and before he knew it, he was outside in Gibbs’ arms making his way back to the car.

“Did it go okay?” Gibbs asked, once Tony was in the car and they were driving home.

“I…I think so, I’m not sure. He wants me to make a list of something.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, maybe in case I can’t go back to NCIS.”

“Why would you think that?”

“I’m so tired right now by the smallest things, I’m useless as an agent.” Gibbs said nothing, just pulled over in a safe spot and turned to face Tony.

“You are not useless. Your recovery will take time and when you’re ready - and not before - your job will be there and you’ll do it better than you did before, I promise you that,” Gibbs said, reaching over and pulling Tony into a hug before heading back onto the highway and going home.

Chapter Forty-Five

“You’re sure you’re going to be okay here, along?” Gibbs asked Tony, giving his a kiss on his forehead as he got ready for work.

“I’ll be fine, I’ll probably stay in bed and watch some TV, maybe some movies,” Tony told him.

“You promise you won’t overdo it?”

“I swear. I barely have the energy to make it to the bathroom, I can’t see me moving for anything other than that.”

“And you’ll call me if you need me?”

“You’re only going in for a couple of hours to tie up the case and then you’re coming back, right?”

“Right, but I want you to promise that if you need me for anything and I mean anything you’ll call me.”

“I promise, boss.” Gibbs smiled at Tony who was only awake by sheer stubbornness. “Go on, you’ll be late and then people will think I kept you in bed till late,” Tony added, shooing Gibbs out of the door.

“I have a little time,” Gibbs said, his eyebrows raised. He sat back on the bed and leant forward to kiss Tony properly. He slipped his tongue into Tony’s mouth and their tongues fought, though it wasn’t for dominance, more for the chance to taste each other.

Gibbs’ erection poked up against the fly of his pants and he calculated that if they were quick, they could still do this and he wouldn’t be late for work. He reached down to Tony’s boxers to satisfy his partner, even if it would be a quick hand job when Tony froze. His body went rigid and he pulled back from Gibbs.

“What’s wrong, Tony?” Gibbs asked, on alert immediately.

“I…I…I can’t,” Tony stammered, “I know it’s you touching me, but my brain says it’s him and all I can think about is that night.”

Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug. “I’m so sorry, Tony, I didn’t think, I just got caught up in the moment.”

“It’s okay, it’s kinda stupid really.”

“It’s not stupid. Not at all. Might be something you’d want to talk to your psychiatrist about,” Gibbs said, running this thumb in circles over the back of Tony’s hands.

“I need to shower,” Tony said.

“Need any help?” Gibbs asked, for no other reason than the fact that Tony was still unsteady on his feet.

“No…I’ll…er…I’ll be fine.”

Gibbs watched his partner make his way to the bathroom, hobbling and holding onto things as he went and then continued to get dressed and ready to go to the office.

Once he was ready to leave, he called out to Tony that he was off, but he doubted the man heard him over the spray of the shower. He wondered how long Tony would stay in the shower - what they had done had brought back vivid memories of the rape and he guessed that Tony was in there trying to cleanse himself of them. He’d known it would be hard, he just hadn’t thought it would be this hard.

~*~

Ziva and McGee were already working hard when Gibbs arrived at NCIS, he was still technically on leave and so was only planning to spend a couple of hours in the office before returning to Tony at home.

“Where are we on closing Kamisnski’s case?” Gibbs asked them.

“I have all the evidence ready to present to the JAG lawyer,” McGee said. “Abby’s re-checking all the fingerprints and DNA samples before putting them into evidence.”

“Ziva?”

“I am just writing my report,” Ziva told him.

“Right, well I’m going to get coffee and have a word with the Director, if you need me you know where to find me,” Gibbs replied, grabbing his coat that he’d only just taken off and heading out towards the coffee stand he liked so much.

When he arrived back at NCIS, he saw the bullpen empty and figured that his team were either with Abby helping her get everything ready to send to the JAG lawyer in charge of the case or elsewhere - wherever they were, he was sure they were working on keeping Kamisnski behind bars where he belonged.

He headed up the stairs to the Director’s office and found Cynthia alone in the waiting area.

“Is she in?” he asked.

“She’s with someone, I was told not to let anyone interrupt her,” Cynthia replied, rolling her eyes when Gibbs ignored her and barged through the door.

“Cynthia is there for a reason, Jethro. As you can see I’m in the middle of a meeting here,” Director Shepherd said, sounding a tad pissed off.

“This is important,” Gibbs said, ignoring the look the Director was giving him. He’d taught her that look and if she wanted to have a competition about it, he’d win, hands down.

“I’m sure it can wait the five minutes it will take for me to finish here,” the Director said, ushering Gibbs out of the door and shutting it in his face. “Now…”

Gibbs paced up and down the small waiting area outside the Director’s office, Cynthia look smug that Gibbs had been thrown out by the Director and had to wait his turn like everyone else who wanted to see her. It was a simple kind of justice, she decided. He waited for about five minutes before the man that had been in Director Shepherd’s office came out and Jenny called Gibbs in.

“Now, what was so important that you felt you could interrupt my meeting, Jethro?” she asked him, beckoning him to take a seat on the other side of her desk as she sat down.

“It’s about DiNozzo,” Gibbs stated, simply.

“I hear he’s doing well and is out of the hospital.”

“He is, but it looks like he’ll be on sick leave for about three months, or at least until the trial is over and done with.”

“Your point, Jethro?”

“Well, Madame Director, I was wondering if you feel the need to get a temporary replacement or if we can cope being one man down for a while.”

“Wow, Jethro, you’re letting me make decisions about your team? That is impressive.”

“You are the Director, ma’am.”

“Let me think about it and I’ll get back to you,” she said, standing up and opening the door so that Gibbs could leave. “Thanks for keeping me informed.”

Gibbs headed downstairs to find the whole of his team, plus Abby waiting for him. “Have you guys finished?” he asked, grabbing the hot cup of coffee waiting for him on his desk. If he had to guess, it would be that McGee had been the one to buy it this time.

“Everything’s ready to send to the JAG lawyer prosecuting,” McGee told him.

“Good, everyone take an early day, see you all next week when I get back from personal leave. Thanks for all your hard work, I know that Tony really appreciates all you’ve done to catch the people behind his attack,” Gibbs said, taking his jacket and coffee and heading to the elevator. It had taken him less than the required two hours which meant he’d be able to surprise Tony and who knows; maybe they’d even get to spend some time in bed together.

He took the quick route home, wanting to spend as little time away from Tony as possible and was home in less than thirty minutes, which was good considering the midday traffic around DC and the Navy Yard. He pulled into his drive and got out of the car. He put his key in the lock, and heard a crash, so pulling out his weapon, he searched the area just inside his home and continued methodically throughout the whole house until he found a lump on the floor in the bedroom - it was Tony.

“What happened, Tony?” he asked, putting his gun away.

“I got scared when I heard the key in the lock since I didn’t think you’d be home this soon and I went to hide, but tripped over a wire. I think I broke your lamp,” Tony replied, feeling sheepish.

“I can replace the lamp, I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s stupid really, it’s just I thought you might be one of Kamisnski’s men come to finish me off and it was just pure instinct to hide somewhere.”

“I’m guessing you were going for under the bed, right?”

“Yep, was the place I always hid when I was a child and Dad had been drinking,” Tony admitted. He rarely spoke of his parents, but when he did there was something about them that didn’t sit right with Gibbs, maybe they’d been slightly abusive - nothing major or Tony would have said something, wouldn’t he?

“Come on, let’s get you back into bed,” Gibbs said, changing the subject and helping Tony up by putting his arms under his shoulders and lifting him to his feet.

Once Tony was back in bed and under the comforter, Gibbs laid next to him. Tony put his head on Gibbs’ chest and listening to his heart beat, for some unknown reason he started to cry. Maybe he was crying for the rape and all that had happened, maybe the scare he had were causing the tears, whatever it was, he wasn’t sure why. Gibbs just stoked his hair and said, “no matter what, Tony, we’ll get through this, I promise.”

Chapter Forty-Six

It was late by the time Tony had stopped crying and Gibbs had been able to move away so that he could head down to the kitchen to make something resembling food.

Tony followed him down after going to the bathroom en-suite and washing his face so that it didn’t look like he’d been crying for the past ninety minutes. It was a pointless task anyway because the only other person present was Gibbs and he’d been the one to see him through his tears.

“What do you fancy for dinner?” Gibbs asked, when Tony took a seat at the kitchen table.

“Not sure, nothing that takes a while to cook, I’m surprisingly hungry,” Tony replied, sighing as his stomach grumbled.

“I have some pasta and chicken in the freezer that I could heat up?” Gibbs offered.

Tony nodded. “Can I grab a beer?” he asked, looking at the fridge.

“You know you’re not allowed to drink on your meds. Dr. Foster did explain that to you.”

“I know, but one can’t hurt, can it?” Tony asked, giving Gibbs a look that could only be described as seductive.

“DiNozzo, don’t think for a second that that look is going to work on me, have a glass of milk, some orange juice, some water, whatever you want.”

“But not beer?”

“No, not until your liver has recovered from the overdose and even then only in small doses. Your days of getting so wasted you couldn’t remember your own name are over.”

“Fine.” Tony got up and went to the fridge, he grabbed the carton of orange juice and poured himself a glass, sipping it slowly as he put the carton back where it belonged and sat back down at the table, watching Gibbs prepare their meal.

“So, how did things go at the office?” Tony asked, trying to make conversation.

“Well, all the evidence is now ready to be presented to the JAG lawyer who’ll take on prosecuting the case, the witnesses, like Woodman and Lee will stay in custody and seclusion until a court date is decided and Kamisnski stays in with the general population with the hope that he doesn’t get to anyone and silence them before we can put him away for good. I need to talk to you about that actually,” Gibbs said, putting the chicken and pasta into a saucepan and bringing up the heat so that it would defrost.

“Go ahead.”

“There’s a chance the judge will only choose to prosecute on the attempted murder charge which is our strongest case, if he does, Kamisnski will most likely get life, but is that enough for you? Do you want me to push so they charge him for ordering the attack, paying for Woodman to rape you?” Gibbs asked, turning round from his position by the stove and looking at Tony.

Tony sighed, he hadn’t really thought about what Kamisnski would and wouldn’t get charged with and although it may seem that if his attack was ignored that he didn’t get the man responsible, but so long as he was in jail and unable to bring harm to anyone else, that was enough for him. Besides, Woodman was the actual rapist and he would serve time for that ��" Kamisnski may have paid him to do it, but all that mattered was that the people responsible paid in their own ways.

“I guess that’s fine.”

“You guess? I want you to be sure,” Gibbs told him. “You don’t have to give me an answer now, but I need one soon, so think about it. I’m not above getting Kamisnski to pay in other ways.”

“No, boss, I don’t want that,” Tony protested. “I don’t want that scumbag costing you your job, he’s ruined enough lives as it is.”

“Okay, Tony, I promise I won’t take matters into my own hands.”

Gibbs stirred the chicken and pasta as it started to cook and bubble, while Tony sat thinking about what had happened that morning before Gibbs and him and how he’d freaked out. It was pathetic, here he was with the guy he’d admired from afar for years, now he could finally live out his fantasies with the man and do everything he’d always dreamed about, but the second Gibbs touched him, he went soft and all he could think about was the night of the rape. Would that ever go away? Would he always be destined to wanting Gibbs but not be allowed to have him? It was like being in a candy store and only being allowed to look and not touch.

“You know what happened this morning,” Tony said, broaching the subject carefully, because he didn’t want Gibbs to feel guilty about what had happened, but on the other hand he didn’t want it to go unsaid.

“What about this morning?”

“When we tried to…y’know…do it,” Tony replied, feeling his face flush red with embarrassment. For God’s sake, he was thirty-seven years old, he should be able to talk about sex without getting embarrassed.

“Ah, that,” Gibbs said, turning to look at Tony as he continued to stir the chicken and pasta. “What about it?”

“It’s not that I don’t like you like that, I don’t know why I reacted the way I did, I mean I’ve been dreaming about this happening for years, ever since I laid eyes on you and then I had my chance and I screwed it up, I’m sorry.”

“DiNozzo, never apologise, it’s a sign of…”

“Weakness, I know, but I am sorry that I got you all wound up and then left you with blue balls.”

“Tony, this time last week you were in the ICU following an overdose you took because you were raped . I do not expect you to suddenly be jumping all over me and ready for sex. If you have to wait a week, a month, a year, a decade before you’re ready to sleep with me, I’ll wait for you, because I don’t want to hurt you or your recovery from this,” Gibbs told him, walking over and placing a kiss on his forehead. “Now, dinner’s ready, will you grab me some plates and lay the table?”

“Sure thing, boss.”

~*~

After dinner, Gibbs took a shower whilst Tony lay in bed. He had come to a decision that he was ready now and he wanted to show Gibbs how much he loved him through physical means rather than just through words. He’d searched through Gibbs’ bedside drawers and found lube and condoms, so maybe he wasn’t the only person anticipating this happening.

By the time Gibbs was out of the shower and came into the bedroom, Tony was naked and laid across the bed, he had an erection, having stroked himself thinking about what it would feel like to finally have Gibbs inside of him. He wanted to consider himself a virgin since his first time had been, well, the rape, but thinking about it caused him to lose some of his erection so he pushed it to the back of his mind and stroked himself so that he stayed hard.

“What’s all this then?” Gibbs asked, dropping the towel that was round his waist, he could see the lube and a condom placed on his pillow and that Tony was flushed with excitement and need so he lowered one knee onto the bed and leaned down and kissed Tony full on the lips, pushing them apart with his tongue.

Tony groaned and Gibbs felt himself grow hard at the thought of being able to take Tony and make him his. He didn’t know that this was technically Tony’s first time, but he wanted to make it good for him, so while still kissing him passionately he opened the lube and spread it across his fingers.

He reached down and spread it around Tony’s hole and eased a finger in, then all hell broke loose. Tony cried out as the muscles clamped down on Gibbs’ finger and pushed Gibbs away from him, his eyes closed. “Get off me! LEAVE ME ALONE!” he shrieked

Gibbs removed his finger as gently as he could, not wanting to cause any harm to the young agent and stood back up, Tony was soft again and he was curled up into the fetal position, crying about not wanting to go through that again. Gibbs sighed. He should have known that Tony was just trying to please him, to give him some relief, to show him how much he loved him, but deep down, Tony wasn’t ready, it was too soon after the rape.

He pulled on some sweat pants, his erection long gone and curled up behind Tony. “It’s okay, I’m here and no one is going to hurt you, I promise,” he whispered, soothingly.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I thought I could…”

“It doesn’t matter, we can take it slow, we don’t have to have sex to be in a relationship.”

“But I want to, I just…I just can’t.”

“I know, and it’s fine, it’s all okay,” Gibbs soothed. He reached down and pulled the comforter over them and eventually they fell asleep in that position.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Over the next few days, Tony and Gibbs moved more and more of Tony’s things from his apartment to Gibbs’ house; it seemed that there was an unsaid conversation in which it was decided that Tony would move in with Gibbs permanently. There was nothing more said on the situation and every morning they would drive over to Tony’s apartment and pack a few boxes and every afternoon they would drive back to Gibbs’ house and unpack a few boxes.

Gibbs had let Tony use his spare room for most of his belongings, but had cleared out some wardrobe and drawer space in the bedroom for Tony’s clothes since it was obvious that the man intended on sleeping with him. He liked the company and it meant that if Tony had nightmares - which he did from time to time - he was able to comfort him without the worry of not waking up and hearing him in time.

Tony didn’t talk about the nightmares with Gibbs, but he knew that he could if he wanted to, he just felt they were better off forgotten and he’d rather not describe what it felt like to be raped over and over in his dreams with no way out. It worried Gibbs that Tony didn’t talk, which is why he was glad that today Tony had an appointment with his psychiatrist. He felt that somehow Tony had to let it out somewhere and if he couldn’t be that outlet then it made sense that the doctor should be.

They had just finished lunch and Tony was grabbing a shower quickly before they left for the Outpatient Clinic by Bethesda Naval Hospital. It had been just under a week since Tony had come home from the hospital and a week since his last appointment. He’d done the homework Dr. Clark had set him but he was still nervous about this appointment in case the doctor asked about the nightmares, which he was sure he would.

He was still taking the small dose of Amitrypline as ordered by Dr. Clark, and apart from making him feel a bit dopey, he didn’t see it as having any other effect on him, but according to the doctor it would take another week at least before he’d show signs of the drug being in his system properly.

He was out of the shower and dressed with ten minutes to spare, so headed down to the kitchen to see what Gibbs was doing. When he didn’t find him there, he headed to the basement where Gibbs spent his free time working on what must be his fifth boat because it didn’t seem to be anywhere near as complete as the one he’d last seen in Gibbs’ basement.

“How’d you get the boats out of here when you finish them?” Tony asked, genuinely interested.

“That’s a trade secret, I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you and I kinda like having you around,” Gibbs replied with a smirk. “You all ready to go?”

“Yeah, but we’ve got ten minutes until we have to leave.”

“Come on down and I’ll show you how to sand the wood.”

Tony did as he was asked and the next ten minutes were spent with Gibbs teaching him how to go with the grain and sand the wood to perfection. No wonder it took Gibbs so long to build a boat when he put in so much effort and love and used hand tools. He’d asked in the past why Gibbs didn’t use power tools, and had been told that Gibbs liked the feel of the wood transforming under his fingertips and that you couldn’t get a sensation like that with a power tool.

Once they were in the car and on their way to the outpatient clinic, Tony got quiet, he didn’t want to admit it, but this session worried him. He had gotten more used to the idea that he’d be able to return to work eventually and the tiredness from every movement had improved over the past weeks or so, as he recovered he got stronger and he was able to see himself returning to work in the not too distant future, he just hoped that the shrink agreed because whatever he put in his notes would go to the NCIS shrink who would also have to assess whether Tony was ready for active Field Duty or if he should be tied to a desk for the rest of eternity.

They pulled into the parking lot and both of them got out of the car. Gibbs took Tony’s hand into his and gave it a squeeze to reassure him that it would be okay. They entered the building together and this time Tony went up to the reception desk to book in whilst Gibbs found himself an old magazine to read and a comfortable chair to sit in whilst Tony was in with the doctor.

Tony joined him, but had barely sat down when Dr. Clark called him for his appointment. “Good luck and you’ll be fine,” Gibbs half-whispered as Tony let go of his hand and headed down the corridor to the doctors office.

“Please take a seat, Tony.” Tony did, sitting in the same chair he had done the last time he was here, whilst Dr. Clark sat behind his desk. “How are you feeling today?

“A bit nervous,” Tony admitted, wishing that he was still holding Gibbs’ hand.

“Why?”

“I’m worried you’ll recommend to the NCIS psychiatrist that I should stay on desk duty or look for employment elsewhere.”

“Tony, let me get one thing straighten out with you. I have no say in what the NCIS psychiatrist recommends, he or she will just have access to my notes and personally, I believe you would find your recovery easier knowing your going back to the same job - a job you are certainly passionate about to say the least. So no, I won’t be recommending a change of employment, not that they would listen to me anyway.”

Tony sighed and visibly relaxed. “Thanks.”

“Now, did you work on that list like I told you?” the doctor asked.

“I did, and I brought it with me.”

“You didn’t need to bring it with you; I don’t want to see it. It was more an exercise for you to see that you can do other jobs if for some reason your job at NCIS fell through.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Did it help?”

“A little yeah.”

“Okay, now how are you finding the Amitrypline?”

“It makes me feel a bit dopey, but it doesn’t seem to have affected my moods at all.”

“I see, do you have periods of low moods?”

“Not really.”

“Okay, well we’ll keep you on it for another month and if there’s still no change them you may as well come off it.” Dr. Clark said. “Is there anything you would like to discuss during this session?”

Tony thought for a moment and decided to tell him about the nightmares, he may not be able to make them go away and he was sure they were normal following what had happened to him, but he didn’t speak to Gibbs about them so it seemed only logical that he speak to his shrink about them.

“I’ve been having these nightmares,” Tony started.

“I see, what are they about?”

“The rape, they show me in the alley, on my back and I get raped over and over and there’s nothing I can do to stop it and then I scream out and wake Gibbs up and he wakes me up gently and we lay together until the shaking stops,” Tony explained.

“You’re a smart man, Tony, so I don’t really need to tell you that it’s expected after a traumatic event like the one you went through would leave a permanent imprint in your mind. The nightmares are normal and Gibbs is doing the right thing by bringing you out of them and allowing you to calm down.”

“Will they stop?”

“In time, they will decrease, but you have to remember it’s only been two weeks since your rape and subsequent hospitalisation. I would say it will take a while for your mind to recover from what happened to you, which is why it’s important for you to use these sessions as an outlet to air what is bothering you otherwise it just gets bottled up inside and manifests itself as a nightmare or a panic attack or something,” Dr. Clark explained. “The drug will help with that, which is why I want you to keep taking it.”

“Okay.”

For the rest of the session, Tony talked about his inability to sleep with Gibbs in an intimate way - which Dr. Clark said was also normal, so put Tony’s mind at ease. He found it easier than he thought it would be to talk to the doctor and decided that from then onwards he would use his sessions to aid his mental recovery from what had happened to him. After all, he wanted to go back to work and he was already working on the physical recovery so the mental one needed to be worked on too.

Chapter Forty-Eight

THREE MONTHS LATER

Tony was the first to get up, he headed to the kitchen and started to make himself some breakfast. He thought about maybe surprising Gibbs with breakfast in bed, but then remembered what had happened the last time he’d done that and decided against it.

It hadn’t been Tony’s fault that Gibbs had been so wound up about keeping him safe that he slept with his hand on the gun under his pillow, so that if he heard something or someone managed to get into the bedroom he was armed and ready to protect Tony and himself if need be. It hadn’t been Tony’s fault that Gibbs had been having a bad dream - borderline nightmare - about Kamisnski finding his way into Gibbs’ house and raping and murdering Tony in front of Gibbs, which was why when Tony shook his shoulder to wake him, with a tray of hot coffee, toast and cereal balanced in the other hand, Gibbs pulled the gun out from under the pillow and went for Tony’s throat - causing the tray to tip and spill its contents all over Tony and the bed.

Gibbs had apologised profusely once he was awake and aware of his surroundings. He’d reacted almost instantly and gotten a cold compress for Tony’s chest and legs where the hot coffee had hit and scalded the skin. He was lucky that it was only a bad scaled and not a burn. Since then, though, Tony had been reluctant to go to wake Gibbs with anything in his hands, so that if need be he could jump back out of harms way until Gibbs was fully orientated.

So, instead of preparing breakfast in bed, Tony prepared breakfast in the kitchen. His shoulder had long since healed and he could once again drive himself around to get to places and appointments. He was still seeing Dr. Clark at the outpatient facility and was still take the low dose of anti-depressant he had prescribed. The nightmares occurred far less than they had during the first few weeks home, but they had a system in place.

If Gibbs was asleep next to him, he would wake Tony and calm him down, lay with him awake until Tony fell back to sleep and if Gibbs was working on the boat in the basement, then Tony would wake afterwards alone and bang on the floor a couple of times and Gibbs would get upstairs as quickly as his legs would take him. Mostly though, Gibbs slept with him, having spent less time on the boat since Tony had come to stay with him…to live with him even.

Gibbs arrived in the kitchen just as Tony was putting the finishing touches on the breakfast table. He yawned and stretched, showing off his flat stomach, “good morning, Tony,” he said.

“Morning, Gibbs, I made breakfast,” Tony replied.

“So I see.”

“What do you want?” Tony asked.

“Eggs, bacon and some grits.”

“Coming right up!”

“Tony, we need to talk about what’s going to happen today.”

“I’m busy right now with your breakfast; we can talk about it later.”

“Tony, listen to me.”

“Hang on, let’s have breakfast and then we can talk all you want.”

Gibbs sighed; Tony had been avoiding the subject ever since the summons had arrived. Today, Kamisnski’s trial started and Tony was first up to give evidence and talk about what happened to him. The trial date had been set a month ago and the JAG lawyer in charge of the prosecution had tried to set a date to deposition Tony. In the end it had taken Gibbs setting up the date without telling Tony and then taking him there himself to get it done, without Tony’s testimony, there was a chance that Kamisnski would walk and Gibbs just couldn’t allow that to happen, no matter how scared Tony was.

He could never truly understand what it was like to have been raped and to deal with the aftermath of it because it had never happened to him, but on the other hand, Tony’s testimony was going to help put away the very man who had deemed it a suitable punishment for him. He knew - they both knew - that there was a chance that Kamisnski would not go to jail on the conviction of arranging and paying for the rape and physical assault of a Federal Agent because of the lack of evidence, something Tony would have to live with because of his actions the night of the rape, though no one who knew him blamed him for the way he’d behaved - not even Gibbs because, like he’d said so many times before, none of them knew what it was like to deal with the aftermath of being raped.

Tony placed a plated in front of Gibbs with eggs, sunny side up, some crispy bacon and a generous helping of grits, before putting down his own plate on the opposite side of the table. Tony had made himself scrambled eggs, some sausages and bacon and a small helping of grits. He dug into his meal, while Gibbs grabbed a cup of coffee from the percolator and looked at Tony eating. They needed to have this conversation, timing be damned.

“Tony, the trial starts at ten am this morning, you’re due to give evidence from eleven onwards, don’t you think that maybe we need to talk about it before we leave for the courthouse?” Gibbs asked, watching Tony eat and sipping from his coffee cup.

“I…I’m scared, Gibbs.”

“I know, Tony, but I’ll be with you the whole time and you know Abby and McGee and Ziva will be there as expert witnesses because they helped build up the case so you won’t be alone while you’re waiting and I’ll be watching the trial and once you’ve given evidence you’ll be allowed to come in and watch with me so don’t worry, we’re going to get you through this,” Gibbs told him, leaning over and squeezing his hand.

“I just, I haven’t seen Woodman since the attack and although I know what he looks like because I remember the way he looked at me that night, seeing him in the flesh is going to be hard and I’m going to have to wait with him because he’s giving evidence too,” Tony said, sounding fed up. “Same with Agent Lee, I thought she liked me and it turns out the whole time she was feeding information about me to Kamisnski so that he could arrange for me to be raped. It hardly seems right that I, as the victim in the case, should have to sit with two of the people who contributed to what happened to me.”

“I understand that, Tony, I do, but you won’t have to wait with Lee or Woodman, they’ll be kept in custody while they wait to give evidence and even though they’re getting lighter sentences for helping us prosecute, they’re still going to jail for what they did. The Navy doesn’t look too kindly on crimes of this nature and NCIS certainly doesn’t look too kindly on employees who betray their country.”

“But she didn’t betray the country, she betrayed me, and only me.”

“Yeah, but the way they see it is if she was willing to sell secrets about a colleague what the hell would she have sold to a terrorist?”

“I just want it all to be over and me to go back to work.”

“I know, Tony, and getting through the deposition and then getting through the trial is the next step. Once that is over, you have to get through the sentencing and then you’ll almost be ready to go back to work and trust me, we need you there.”

“My replacement is still pissing you off, isn’t he?”

“He’s an incompetent jackass,” Gibbs complained. “I don’t know why the Director assigned him to my team to cover your leave, because most of the time we solve the cases without his help so it’s not like we need him.”

Tony went back to eating his breakfast, looking up at Gibbs between bites. “I better get my best suit on then,” Tony said, pushing away his almost empty plate.

“Don’t forget to put your seizure pills in your pocket and take your other pills before we go,” Gibbs called out as Tony climbed the stairs. His medication had become part of his daily regime as if it had always been there. The only thing he had to carry around with him were his seizure meds in case he had one so that the paramedics - if they were called - knew what to give him to stop the seizure. Since he’d come home from the hospital three months ago, he’d only had a handful of seizures, but that’s what happened when you took an overdose and gave yourself minimal brain damage and as much as he regretted his actions, he also didn’t because without what had happened to him, he wouldn’t be living with Gibbs right now - the man he loved. Though he doubted anyone else would understand that reasoning.

Tony dressed in his best suit, it was dark blue and made him look rather handsome - at least Gibbs thought so and greeted him with a kiss to the cheek, which brought a smile to Tony’s face. Gibbs had dressed in a suit that he wore to work occasionally so that he looked smart enough for court. They locked the house as they left - an action that had become second nature to Gibbs once Tony had returned from the hospital and moved all his stuff over from his apartment. Gibbs drove at his normal speed and they got to the courthouse with time to spare.

The first thing they did was book Tony in as a witness and he was led away to wait in seclusion so that his testimony was not influenced by what he heard in court. They had time to share a quick kiss before Tony left and Gibbs headed to the courtroom where the trial would take place.

The trial started at ten am on the dot and they went through the motions of reading the charges against Kamisnski - who didn’t look like prison suited a man of his tastes - before they started to call witnesses, Tony being first on the list.

At exactly 10:35am, Tony DiNozzo was called into the courtroom to give evidence.

Chapter Forty-Nine

Tony fidgeted the whole time he was waiting to be called into the courtroom. He couldn’t find a position that was comfortable and he was worried that what he said wouldn’t be the right thing which was stupid in itself because he was a trained Federal Agent and had given evidence in cases before to help with prosecuting felons. However, it was different when you were talking about your own rape.

He went over his testimony in his head what felt like a thousand times to be sure that he had it right, Dr. Clark has prepared him for talking about what had happened a lot and in a way he was grateful for the first shrink he saw in the hospital - the one that caused him to have a panic attack and near seizure because he’d shown Tony how heartless some people could be when listening to him describe what had been the worst night of his life. It had prepared him for telling his story to a JAG lawyer, to doing as deposition and now to telling it to a bunch of strangers - none of whom knew Tony well enough to care, but at least Gibbs would be there, watching him, and mentally holding his hand.

It surprised him when he looked at the clock on the wall and saw that only thirty minutes had passed; it felt like he’d been there for an age. A bailiff appeared and looked around the room that was filled with various people who needed to give testimony - not all of them were for Tony’s case and not all of them were for cases that would be heard today, but all of them were held in seclusion so as not to taint their testimony before it could be heard before a judge and jury.

The bailiff turned and looked at Tony. “Are you Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo?” he asked.

“Yes,” Tony replied.

“Follow me, you’ve been called into courtroom one.” Tony got up and followed the bailiff as he made his way through the corridors and into the courtroom. Tony was shown to the witness box and had the chance to quickly glance around and lock eyes with Gibbs. His breathing slowed, even though he hadn’t been aware of it speeding up and he relaxed. He’d be fine so long as he could see Gibbs.

“Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you, God?” the bailiff of the court asked, holding out a bible that Tony had placed his left hand on, the other was above his shoulder.

“I do.”

Tony looked around the courtroom again as the bailiff sat down and the trial continued, he recognised the prosecutor as the JAG lawyer that had been at his deposition, but not the defense, he was most nervous about answering any question the defense lawyer put up because he knew they were trying to get Kamisnski off the hook and would do anything to disprove his rape and subsequent attempt on his life by their client.

“Good Morning, Special Agent DiNozzo, how are you feeling today?” the JAG lawyer - Lieutenant Andrew Watson - asked, with a smile on his face.

“I’m fine, thanks,” Tony said, coughing slightly as his throat seemed to dry up the second he spoke. He took a sip from the glass of water in front of him.

“Can you tell us what happened to you on the evening of Sunday April 13th of this year?”

“I was attacked and raped, sir.”

“I see. Did you receive any medical attention?”

“I did, but not for the rape.”

“Then why?”

“I took an overdose of Vicodin directly following the rape.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Objection! Our job here is not to speculate the mental stability of Special Agent DiNozzo,” the defense lawyer said, standing up and rolling his eyes at his colleague.

“Sustained, please keep on the right path, Lieutenant,” the judge said, to which the Lieutenant in question nodded and looked at Tony.

“What happened to you on the 16th April of this year?” Lieutenant Watson asked Tony, continuing the questioning.

“I was given an almost lethal dose of heroin into my IV that caused me to have a cardiac arrest and almost die,” Tony replied, keeping to the script they’d agreed before that day.

“I see, were you conscious when you were given this injection?”

“Yes.”

“Would you recognise the person who gave it to you?”

“Yes.”

“Can you see them in this courtroom?”

“Yes.”

“Would you be able to point them out to the jury?”

“Yes,” Tony said and pointed clearly at Kamisnski, his eyes on Gibbs the whole time who was keeping him going. He felt so uneasy in the courtroom with Kamisnski just a few meters away from him, so close and his very presence made Tony feel so very uneasy, as if someone was clutching his heart and squeezing it tightly every so often.

The jury gasped and made notes when Tony pointed directly at Kamisnski and then it was what Tony dreaded the most, it was the defense’s turn to question him and see if his answers could help them win the case. Tony hoped to God they couldn’t.

“No further questions, your honour,” Watson said, sitting back behind the table on the prosecution’s side of the courtroom.

“Do you wish to question this witness, Lieutenant Marrow?” the judge asked the defense, a JAG lawyer - Lieutenant Jeffery Marrow. Apparently he won most cases he took on and had been a personal friend of Kamisnski so it was no surprise to anyone when he took on his case with the intention of winning and showing what a liar Tony was and how he’d actually been the one harassing Kamisnski and not the other way round.

“I have a few questions, your honour,” Marrow said, as he stood up from behind the defense’s table and walked over to stand opposite Tony.

Tony took another sip of his water as his throat felt as dry as the Nevada desert, he looked past Marrow and at Gibbs who gave him an encouraging smile, he knew it was meant to make him feel better, but it didn’t because he felt like whatever he said in answer to the defense’s questions would be the wrong one and would bring Kamisnski one step closer to freedom - something he was desperate not to happen.

“Special Agent DiNozzo, isn’t it true that it was not, in fact, Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski that raped you?” he asked, a smug smile on his face that Tony wanted to wipe off.

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yet you and your partner, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs continued to harrass him on several occasions?”

“No, Gibbs didn’t know I had the file on Kamisnski. He only found out after Kamisnski was linked to the money on Woodman,” Tony said, regretting every word the second he said it.

“But once your partner had the file, isn’t it true he baited Kamisnski until he could arrest him on proper charges?”

“You’d have to ask him that, sir. I was in the hospital.”

“Yes, about that. Why did you let Kamisnski inject you with heroin if you knew what he looked like?”

’Shit,’ Tony thought. “I…I…I didn’t recognise him then,” Tony said, stammering.

“Yet, you recognise him now?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Objection! The witness has already declared that he is sure to the whole court,” shouted the prosecutor, coming to Tony’s rescue. He wanted to get out of court and away from the slimy defense lawyer.

“Sustained, please stay on topic Lieutenant Marrow,” the judge said, giving Marrow a look that could be compared to one of Gibbs’ stares.

“Sorry, your honour. No further questions.” He left Tony sweating and sat back down behind the table, where Kamisnski leant over and whispered something into his ear, his eyes on Tony the whole time.

Tony got down out of the witness stand and was led out of the courtroom, where he collapsed against a wall and sank to his knees. He held in the tears until Gibbs came up behind him and wrapped his arms around him and then he let them out. If he’d messed up in that courtroom, Kamisnski would be free and then he’d never be safe again, not until he or Kamisnski were dead, whichever came first.

Chapter Fifty

Tony stood up after a good five minutes on the floor and let Gibbs just hold him. Gibbs led him to a bench where they could sit and talk for as long as needed. Although he wanted to hear some of the expert witnesses talk about what they had found that linked Kaminski to both the rape and attempt on Tony’s life, he knew that dealing with Tony’s emotions was so much more important right then.

“I messed up,” Tony sobbed, tears still occasionally leaking and falling down his face. “I pointed out Kamisnski and the jury were all impressed and then the defense made me look like I let him try to kill me if I’d known who he was and the stupid thing is I should have recognised him, I can’t tell you how many times I looked at his picture on his file and wished I could catch that SOB, and then he walks into my hospital room with a syringe full of heroin and I’m too stupid to actually do anything than let him give it to me. Why didn’t I know who he was, Gibbs?”

“I don’t know why you didn’t recognise him, Tony, I wish I had the answers for you, but you gave a good statement today. You were clear, you were concise and you made it obvious that what you went through was very traumatic and once Abby and McGee and Ziva have told the judge and jury about how he planned the whole thing, they’ll want to put him away for many, many years and that’s what we want,” Gibbs told him, hugging Tony tightly, and rubbing circles on his back to ease the hiccupping that came with crying for so long.

When Tony calmed down, Abby appeared in the hallway of the courthouse and looked around. She spotted them on the bench and came over to sit with them.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” she asked, trying to keep the mood light.

“You’ve just given evidence?” Tony asked, swallowing down a hiccup he could feel trying to escape.

“Yep, it was easy - wish I could say the same for these clothes,” Abby replied. She was dressed in what she described as her ‘court clothes’. A light blue suit with a white blouse underneath. She wore glasses that had fake glass in the rims so that she looked like she needed them but didn’t go blind from wearing them. She also had heels on, which made her wobble when she walked.

“I appreciate the effort, Abs,” Gibbs said, placing a kiss on her forehead. “Hey, would you mind grabbing me and Tony a cup of coffee?”

“Sure, I’ll buy, my purse is in here somewhere,” she replied, digging through her handbag. She hobbled off and Tony sighed deeply.

“It’ll be okay, DiNozzo, I promise you that. Kamisnski will go down for at least the attempted murder charge, if not for the illegal trading and arranging the hit on you, not to mention the possession of $10,000 worth of heroin,” Gibbs said, reassuring Tony, who took a deep breath in, then out.

“I’m going to go give Abby a hand before she gives herself third degree burns trying to balance everything,” Tony told him and before Gibbs could reply, he was off in the same direction as Abby had gone not a minute beforehand.

It only took them five minutes to find and pay for three cups of coffee, with sugar added to two of them - one for Tony and the other for Abby - and the one for Gibbs left black and strong, just as he liked it. Between the two of them they managed to carry them back to the bench where Gibbs was waiting.

“We should really get back in there,” Gibbs said, taking his coffee from Tony and taking a sip. He grimaced, the coffee here was worse than the stuff he’d drunk all those months ago when Tony had been in the ICU. It would do, but he’d have to find some decent coffee at some point to take the taste of that crap out of his mouth.

Abby and Tony nodded and followed Gibbs back into Courtroom one where McGee was on the witness stand giving the evidence he had collected from Tony’s apartment, Woodman’s apartment and the hospital when Tony had nearly been killed by Kamisnski. Abby had already told the judge and jury how she’d matched fingerprints off the pay slips, needle and syringe to Kamisnski, it was now up to both Ziva and McGee to say how they’d come to find them. It was going to be a long day.

~*~

After the court returned from lunch, ex-Special Agent Lee was called to the witness stand. She had agreed to give evidence against Kamisnski in return for a lighter sentence of sharing classified information and endangering people’s lives. Tony had been interested to hear her testimony because he still couldn’t understand why she’d turned against him in the first place, so he sat up a little straighter when she was brought up from custody and place in the witness stand, her hands cuffed behind her back.

It was weird for them all - McGee and Ziva having joined them after they had given evidence - to see Agent Lee in cuffs and an orange jumpsuit that identified her as a felon. They had worked alongside her since Tony had been promoted to Team Leader whilst Gibbs was taking his ‘retirement’ in Mexico. When Gibbs returned and she was moved to the Legal department, they still saw quiet a bit of her as she took it upon herself to be the one to issue their warrants. It all made sense now because she’d done that to be able to feed information to Kamisnski about Tony, but at the time it hadn’t seemed to be anything sinister.

Lee was asked to place her left hand on the bible and the right just above her shoulder - the cuffs were undone by the officer accompanying her - as she was asked if she would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. She agreed that she would and Lieutenant Watson stood.

“Ms Lee, how long did you work for the Naval Criminal Investigative Service?” Watson asked.

“A little under two years.”

“What was your reason for applying for the job?”

“My father was very fond of the Navy, enjoyed anything to do with it, I grew up around boats, more so when we moved to America. I was desperate for a job where I could do the things I enjoyed and when one appeared at NCIS, I applied and was accepted.”

“Where was your first assignment?”

“At the Navy Yard in Washington, D.C. I was to work under Special Agent DiNozzo - he was the team leader that replaced Special Agent Gibbs when he left for some personal time in Mexico.”

“How did you find your time working with Agent DiNozzo?”

“He was a good team leader, but he wasn’t very professional.”

“In what way was he unprofessional?”

“He would call me ‘Probie’ - short for ‘probationary officer’ and lectured me if I was late, but let other agents get away with it.”

“Was that your reasoning for betraying him?”

“I love my job…sorry, loved. I am very bitter about the way Agent DiNozzo treated me and then when Agent Gibbs returned, I was just transferred without even a second chance.”

It was possible to hear the hatred in Lee’s voice as she spoke, when she concentrated it was near impossible to hear that she had the hint of an Asian accent, but when she got angry, it became more distinct.

“What did Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski pay you to do?” Watson asked, changing the subject before it went off course totally.

“I was to find out what route Agent DiNozzo took when jogging. I followed him for two weeks and mapped out various routes to look for a pattern. I was to also make notes on any chatter about Tony heard at work and inform him of anything important.”

“Like what?”

“Like when Agent DiNozzo was shot in the shoulder, I told him about that.”

“What else?”

“I was to make sure that if Agent DiNozzo wanted a warrant for anything to do with Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski, I was to delay it and inform him so that he could make arrangements to have it made invalid.”

“I see. Where were you on the night of Agent DiNozzo’s rape?”

“I was at home, with my roommate.”

“And the afternoon, when the attempted murder took place?”

“I was at work. I was arrested that afternoon when Special Agent Gibbs overheard me talking to Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski.”

“No further questions.”

Watson sat back down, while Marrow stood up and strode purposefully over to the witness stand.

“How much did Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski pay you for this information allegedly?” he asked, still wearing the same smug grin.

“It would depend on how important the information was,” Lee told him.

“Give me a ball park figure.”

“Objection, what does this have to do with anything?” Watson asked the judge.

“It does have a point, your honour,” Marrow said.

“I’ll allow it, but get to the point quickly,” the judge said.

“Ms Lee, please answer the question.”

“Between $5000 and $10,000 a time.”

“I see, and how much is the prosecution paying you to give evidence today?”

Lee looked confused, but answered the question anyway. “Nothing. I just get a reduction in my sentence.”

“And the ability to enjoy that hard earned cash sooner rather than later, right?”

“I guess so.”

“One more thing, Ms Lee. Who approached who?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, did Lieutenant Commander Kamisnski approach you or did you track him down?”

Lee paled visibly. “Answer the question, Ms Lee,” the judge pressed when a few minutes had passed.

“I…I…I…I approached him,” she stuttered.

“Thank you, no further questions.”

“The witness may step down.”

Michelle Lee was led away by her guard and sent on her way back to Central Holding. It was coming up to five pm and the judge called for the end of court for the day - they would continue at nine am sharp with Petty Officer Woodman on the witness stand.

Tony was not looking forward to sitting across from his rapist, he could only just cope with sitting across from Lee after the massive betrayal she’d done, but Woodman? He’d actually gone so low in the chain of things that he’d raped another man for a mere $10,000 worth of heroin. To an addict it may seem like a lot, but it was soon gone and anyway, it had been seized when they’d arrested Woodman, he’d never see it again and how could he live with himself knowing how much pain and anguish he’d caused Tony?

He would get through tomorrow the same way he’d gotten through today - with his family by his side.

Chapter Fifty-One

Tony was the first one up the next morning. The alarm had been set for six am because that was usually the time Gibbs got up to get into work for seven am, but Tony hadn’t been able to sleep so was up long before the alarm went off. He was worried about seeing his rapist in court today, he knew that he’d have his ‘family’ around him because they’d all given evidence and now it was just up to Woodman and then the prosecution would rest and as far as he knew there were only a few people the defense planned to call so the trial could be over that day, but he wasn’t sure and it scared the hell out of him.

He hadn’t met Woodman before, never come across him in his line of work or when he was investigating Kamisnski when he worked for the Baltimore P.D. even though the pay slips that Woodman had given him said he worked for him around the same time. The only time their paths had crossed had been the night Tony had been raped by him and now they were going to be in the same room, across from each other while Woodman gave evidence to help keep his sorry ass from being put in jail for the full extent of his crime and in with general population where it was likely he’d be killed within a week. Criminals had morals and although he’d raped a Federal Agent, he’d still raped a man and some criminals didn’t look on that too kindly, which was one of the many reasons that Woodman was in seclusion along with Michelle Lee.

Gibbs found him sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of lukewarm coffee when he got up at six am. He grabbed himself a cup from the percolator and sat opposite Tony.

“How you feeling today?” he asked, taking a gulp from the warm cup.

“Numb in some ways, terrified in others,” Tony admitted.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really, but I will because Dr. Clark says I should rather than leave it bottled up. He said if I do that then one day I’m just going to explode.”

“Okay. What’s the problem?” Gibbs asked, putting his hands round his warm cup of coffee and looking Tony in the eye.

“I don’t think I can cope with seeing Petty Officer Woodman today. I mean, it was hard enough yesterday seeing Michelle after she’d betrayed me, but Woodman? He did more than betray me, he raped me, attacked me, held me down where I was most vulnerable and just attacked me and I did nothing to him, nothing. How can someone do that to another human being?”

“I don’t know. I know I couldn’t and I know that you don’t have it in you, but some people do, it’s why NCIS still exists because evil people still exist in the world and are intent on making innocent people suffer.”

“But why did Kamisnski choose me?”

“Why did you choose Kamisnski?” Gibbs asked, turning the question around.

“I didn’t choose him necessarily, he just came to my attention and I stayed with it.”

“You can to his attention when you started to investigate him and stick your nose where he didn’t want it to go, so he paid for Woodman to rape you, to do something most people wouldn’t do for a million dollars, let alone $10,000 worth of pure heroin.”

“Do I have to go today?” Tony asked, draining the contents of his cup.

“No, you don’t have to do anything, Tony, but I promise you that if you don’t face him now you’ll regret it later. You don’t have to come with us, but we’ll all be there with you if you do and we’ll help you face him together.”

“Kinda like getting back on the horse when it throws you off, huh?”

“Yeah, kinda like that.”

Tony sighed and got up to get another cup of coffee, once it was poured and he’d added milk and sugar, he turned to look at Gibbs. “I’ll come, it’s something I need to do as part of my recovery.”

“Okay, go grab a shower and I’ll make some breakfast,” Gibbs told him. Tony drank his coffee quickly, dumped the cup on the side and headed upstairs to use the en-suite bathroom to shower and get dressed and ready to face the day in court.

~*~

Tony was dressed in the same suit he had worn the previous day, but with a light blue shirt instead of the one he’d worn then. Abby was out of her court clothes, but was still dressed smarter than usual - as if she wanted to make a good impression on the jury from the observation area of the courtroom. Gibbs had opted for a black suit with a nice tie that Tony had brought for him many Christmases ago, but he’d never worn before. He figured it would show Tony that he was there for him and even though they’d only been together a few months, presents brought before that still meant something to him.

McGee and Ziva couldn’t make it to the morning portion of the trial as they had paperwork to go over at the Navy Yard - the only reason Gibbs was there and not at work was because he was still take sporadic days off as ‘personal leave’ and had booked off the whole of the trial so that he could be there for Tony - especially today with Woodman giving evidence.

“Ready?” Gibbs asked, taking Tony’s hand and squeezing it gently, as they approached the door to courtroom one where the trial was being held.

“As I’ll ever be,” Tony replied, sounding and looking as nervous as he felt.

Abby grabbed his other hand, “oh, Tony, don’t worry, you’ll get through this and we already know Woodman’s sentence.”

“We do?” Tony asked, looking confused.

“Yeah,” Abby said, “it came through last night, he requested a judge only trial. He was sentenced to ten years in Levenworth, has to register as a sex offender once he’s released, been dishonourably discharged from the Navy and is also receiving treatment for his drug addiction.”

“What about Michelle?” Tony asked, suddenly interested in whether her case had been heard yet.

“I dunno, she’s a civilian so she’ll be tried in civilian court. As far as I know she’s still being held in Central Holding until she can be transferred over to Metro for sentencing and the trial. Who cares what happens to her anyway?” Abby replied, shrugging her shoulders.

“So, it’s just Kamisnski left?” Tony asked.

“Yep and it looks like the case’ll be wrapped up in a few days and then the jury just have to decide if he’s guilty on all the charges and if he’s not all, then which ones and how long to send him to Levenworth for, preferably not the same area as Woodman coz he’d well, he’d kill him for testifying today. Not that I’d mind, one less rapist in the world,” Abby replied, shrugging her shoulders again. “Come on, let’s go and get a good seat.”

She pulled on the hand of Tony’s that she was holding, which in turn, pulled Gibbs along and soon they were down the front of the courtroom, in seats that gave them a good view of the judge, the jury and the prosecution’s table. Abby decided against sitting them behind the defense because she didn’t think Tony would cope with being so close to Kamisnski - or would she for that matter because he was high on her ‘list’.

They all rose when the judge entered and took his seat, the jury was led in and sat down and they were reminded briefly of what had happened the day before with who had given evidence. It was mostly for the juries benefit so that they could continue to follow the case.

“The prosecution calls Petty Officer James Woodman to the stand,” Lieutenant Watson said, standing up.

The bailiff that had come to collect Tony the day before disappeared behind a door and came back with a guard who was handcuffed to Woodman. After he was sworn in, he took a seat in the witness box and Watson approached him.

“Please can you tell us your full name and title, for the jury?” he asked.

“I’m Petty Officer James Woodman of the United States Navy,” he replied, his voice shaky.

“Can you please tell us what you were doing the night of April 13th of this year?”

“I followed, attacked and raped Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.”

“You admit this crime?”

“I do.”

“You have been charged with this crime?”

“I have.”

“What sentence have you received?”

“Ten years in Levenworth with no chance of early parole as well as being registered for life as a sex offender.”

“Why did you rape Anthony DiNozzo?” Watson asked.

“Objection! This calls for speculation,” the defense lawyer, Lieutenant Marrow, shouted.

“It’s important to the case, your honour,” Watson argues.

“Overruled. Petty Officer, please answer the question,” the judge said.

“I was paid $10,000 worth of pure heroin to stalk, attack and rape him.”

“Who paid you this money?”

“Lieutenant Commander Jonathon Kamisnski.”

“Did you know him before he approached you to do this?”

“Yeah, I worked for him as a runner when he sold drugs to small time dealers. I got into the habit of keeping some back for myself so he fired me, but he knew I’d do it for that amount of heroin.”

“Was getting clean part of your sentence?”

“Yeah, I’ll spend some of the ten years in a rehabilitation program to help me stay off heroin and other drugs. I don’t want to be on them now that they’ve cost me the job I loved in the Navy.”

“No further questions.”

Lieutenant Andrew Watson - the JAG prosecution lawyer sat down and Lieutenant Jeffery Marrow - the JAG defense lawyer stood up and settled himself across from Woodman.

“You’re a self-confessed, drug addict, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’ve been dishonourably discharged from the Unites States Navy, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’ve been sentenced to ten years without parole in Levenworth, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“You’ve been sentenced to appear on the sex offenders register for life, is that correct?”

“Yes, sir.”

“So, basically, you’re a criminal, a felon.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And we are meant to believe that you didn’t just attack and rape Special Agent DiNozzo for the money to buy drugs?”

“I didn’t search for any money, sir.”

“Yes and the NCIS officers have already testified that there was $40 in his back pocket.”

“Yes, sir. Kamisnski told me to attack, rape him and get away and that he would pay me in pure heroin.”

“Where’s that heroin now?”

“It was seized when I was arrested.”

“So, you don’t have it?”

“No, sir.”

“I see. One more question, if you were me, would you believe a self-confessed rapist and drug addict like yourself?”

“I…I don’t understand the question,” Woodman said, sounding confused.

“Never mind. No further questions, your honour,” Marrow said and Woodman was led away.

Tony ran out of the courtroom before Gibbs or Abby could stop him, he stopped when he found the men’s room and once he was inside, he heaved and vomited the lovely breakfast that Gibbs had made him. He cried and cried and didn’t hear Gibbs enter and only found out he was there when Gibbs put a hand on his back and rubbed soothing circles to ease the cramps of dry heaving.

“You did good, Tony.”

“He’s gonna go free, I can feel it in my bones.”

“He’s not, the trial isn’t over yet. We always knew that Woodman was a dodgy witness, just breathe and we’ll get a cup of coffee before we go back in there,” Gibbs told him and Tony obeyed. They sat on the men’s room floor, holding each other, waiting for Tony to stop crying before the left and found the same bench they had say on the day before.

Chapter Fifty-Two

They didn’t stay for the rest of the trial after Woodman had given evidence. Gibbs was worried about Tony getting so stressed out that he would give himself a seizure and that was the last thing either one of them needed, so he left Tony by himself on the bench and went back to talk to Abby.

“We’re going to go, seeing Woodman freaked Tony out big time,” he whispered into her ear so as not to disturb the trial going on around him. They were up to the defenses witnesses and to be honest he didn’t want to hear how good Kamisnski was with kids or at his job or anything because as far as he was concerned, Kamisnski was lower than the scum of the earth, he was lower than the worst thing possible and it would give Gibbs great pleasure to hurt him the way he’d hurt Tony, but only slower.

Abby just nodded and signed to give her love to Tony, Gibbs signed back goodbye and he left the courtroom, picked up Tony from the bench where he’d left him and they headed back to Gibbs’ house - well their house since they both lived there now and Tony’s apartment was more for show than anything else. Gibbs wasn’t sure how the Director would take the news that not only was he living with Tony, he was sleeping with him too, so had told Tony to keep that apartment as his address until they were able to safely broach the subject with her and not have to worry about getting fired for whatever reason she seemed to deem appropriate at the time.

It was a good thing that they’d left the courthouse when they did because when they got home there was a message on the answer machine for Tony. Gibbs pressed the play button:

‘Hello, this is the office of Natalie Smythe, leaving a message for Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. I am the NCIS Psychiatrist and wish to make an appointment with yourself for as soon as possible as we anticipate your return to work to be within the next two weeks. Please call me at 555-555-555 to arrange an appointment. I’m available until 5pm this evening. Thank you.’

Gibbs picked up the phone and handed it to Tony, along with a slip of paper with the number on it. “Call her, the sooner you do, the sooner you can get back to work. Dr. Foster has already cleared you for active field duty so all that is standing in your way now is the psych evaluation and you know you’ll pass with flying colours,” he said, pushing the issue.

“You really think that’s a good idea after what I’ve been through today?” Tony asked, sighing. He wanted to get back to work and he had been thrilled when Dr. Foster had said that everything keeping him from active field work was healed, he only had the one more hurdle to get over and then he could forget about all that had happened over the last few months and go back to the job he loved so much.

“I think it’s the perfect idea, she’ll need to see you and discuss your problems over the past few months and this is one of them, phone her and make an appointment. I can come with you and wait for you outside and I’m sure you’ll do fine,” Gibbs said.

Tony sighed, and then dialed the number on the pad. When the receptionist answered, he arranged an appointment for twenty minutes from then. It would take them that long to get to her office so once he’d hung up the phone he told Gibbs and they headed out.

The NCIS Psychiatrist was situated on the Navy Yard, but not in the NCIS building so Gibbs had to navigate his way round until he found her building. Once they were parked, they both got out of the car and headed into the building. Gibbs stayed back while Tony approached the receptionist. “I have an appointment with Ms Smythe,” Tony said, smiling.

“One moment please, sir. Can I take your name?”

“Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo.”

“Okay, take a seat and she’ll be with you shortly.”

“Thanks,” Tony said, and turned round to find Gibbs already sitting down, so he joined him and picked up a magazine to flick through while he waited for the doctor to call him in.

“Anthony DiNozzo?” a voice called from down the corridor. Tony got up and followed it to find Dr. Smythe standing outside her room waiting for him.

“Come in and take a seat,” she said, choosing to sit opposite Tony and not behind her desk like all the other doctors he’d met with had. Maybe this one would go okay after all.

Tony said nothing as he sat down and looked round the room, it looked very similar to Dr. Clark’s office, except he didn’t have Navy ensembles everywhere.

“How are you feeling, Anthony?” she asked, grabbing a pad of paper and a pencil so that she could take notes during their session.

“I’m a bit nervous, but other than that, I’m fine.”

“I hear you were at court yesterday, how did that go?” she asked.

“I have to give my testimony, which was hard but I’m glad it’s over with. I went today to see Woodman give his testimony and I couldn’t cope with it all so we came home early, which is when I got your message and decided I might as well arrange to see you today and get it over with,” Tony replied.

“I see. Now, as you know I’ve read your notes from Dr. Clark and he seems to think you’re coming along nicely. You’re still taking the Amitrypline, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to stay on it for a while to see what its full effect was.”

“How does it make you feel?”

“At first, I felt a little dopey, but now I feel fine on it. It helps me get some sleep and I don’t have as many nightmares as I did.”

“Can you tell me about the nightmares?”

“Pretty simple really, I’d be back in the alley and Woodman and Kamisnski would be there raping me over and over and then I’d wake up screaming and Gibbs would have to comfort me until I could sleep again.”

“But you’re not having them anymore?”

“No, I am, just not as regularly.”

“I see. How do you feel about returning to work?”

“I’m looking forward to it, I love my job and I’ve been away now for near enough four months, so ready to get back in the saddle and start working again.”

“What about panic attacks?”

“What about them?”

“Do you have them?”

“No, not anymore, I’m okay so long as I know the people around me and so long as I don’t get too stressed.”

“Yes, because that could bring on a seizure, am I right?”

“Yes, but I take my medication everyday and I haven’t had one since I was in the hospital.”

“That’s good. How do you think you’ll cope with the stress of everyday work and cases?”

“I think I’ll be fine, I’m good at what I do and I can compartmentalise everything so it doesn’t affect me in work or outside work.”

“That’s a good trick to have, Anthony.”

“Thanks,” Tony said, smiling.

“I think that’s everything, Anthony, I see no reason why you shouldn’t be able to start work in the next couple of weeks. You’ve been signed off fit by your medical doctors and the therapy session will continue with Dr. Clark which makes me feel a lot more comfortable about allowing you back as a full time Agent. Good luck,” she told him, smiling and shaking his hand.

Tony stood up and headed out the door he’d come through and down the corridor to find Gibbs staring at his cell phone. “What’s up, Gibbs?” Tony asked.

“We need to get back to court, they’ve reached a verdict. How did it go?”

“We’ll talk on the way,” Tony replied, taking a deep breath in and out to mentally prepare himself for going back into the courtroom.

They drove fast through the streets of Washington D.C. and Tony explained to Gibbs that Dr. Symthe had agreed he was mentally ready to go back to work, now all they had to do was get through this and then they’d be home free.

Gibbs parked lopsidedly in a disabled space and left the siren on top of his car in the hope that he wouldn’t get a ticket, they hurried into the courthouse and then into courtroom one. The jury were just walking back in so they’d made it in time to hear the verdict.

“Lieutenant Commander Jonathon Kamisnski, please stand,” the judge said and Kamisnski obeyed.

“Foreman of the jury, on the count of illegal trading, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.”

“On the count of attempted murder of a Federal Agent, how do you find the defendant?”

“Guilty.”

“And on the count of paying for and arranging the rape of Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, how do you find the defendant?”

Tony held his breath, Gibbs did too.

“Guilty.”

Chapter Fifty-Three

Once the shock had worn off, Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug and gave him a big kiss on the mouth - not caring who saw it. Once they came up for air, they joined Abby in the seats that she’d reserved for them. To listen to what sentence would be passed over Kamisnski - who had turned round whilst they were kissing and had given them a disgusted look.

“Lieutenant Commander Jonathon Kamisnski, you have been found guilty on all charges. I feel that I should take this time before sentencing you to let you know that had you not used a mole and bribed a former Petty Officer to rape an NCIS officer, your service to your country during your three times deployed to Iraq would have been taken into consideration, but is seems you have used the Navy for many years to your own personal gain - what with employing those directly below you so that you could see illegal copies of DVD’s and fashion items. Your lawyer made the point that Special Agent DiNozzo spent a lot of time harassing you when they was no evidence of this, more to the contrary. You paid former Special Agent Lee for at least eighteen months after she stumbled across your file in Agent DiNozzo’s computer and whereas you could have just asked for the contents and be done with it, instead you set up another man to rape him and although you couldn’t have known he would try to kill himself, you also used that to your advantage when you tried to kill him, getting yourself into the hospital and to his room with help from Ms Lee.,” the judge said, pausing to take a gulp of the water in front of him.

“Bailiff, please remand former Lieutenant Commander Jonathon Kaminski in to custody, until a date can be set for sentencing.” The bailiff obliged and handcuffed Kamisnski who couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of Tony and Gibbs, which was making Tony nervous and bringing out the protective side in Gibbs.

Once Kamisnski had been led away, court was dismissed and first the judge left, then the jury and then the general public as well as the two JAG lawyers who’d been involved in the case.

They stopped near Gibbs, Tony and Abby and began to talk, stopping their own exit.

“We’ll appeal, Watson, most of it was circumstantial,” Marrow told the prosecutor. Tony went white at the thought of going through another trial and Gibbs spotted it immediately. He stood up and practically pushed the two men out of their way so that he could get Tony away from them and home where he felt safe.

Once they were outside the courthouse, it was good to see that Gibbs car hadn’t been clamped, towed or had a ticket on it, he opened the passenger door in the front and deposited Tony into it, even going as far as to do up his seat belt.

“Need a lift, anywhere, Abs?” Gibbs asked, once Tony was safely settled in the car. Luckily the press usually went for people with lawyers so they’d managed to avoid being swarmed by them. That wouldn’t last, but it also wouldn’t last long, probably up until Tony went back to work and then there’d be other things to report about, like the cases they were given to solve every day or so.

“I brought my car,” Abby replied. “Is he okay?”

“I think he’s just a little worried that he’ll have to give evidence again because of what that prick JAG defense lawyer said. I’ll get him home and get some food into him.”

“Call me later and let me know, okay?”

“Will do, Abs,” he said and leant over to give her a kiss on the forehead. “Thanks for being with him the last couple of days, the NCIS shrink said he could return to work whenever he felt ready so he’s just got to run it by Jenny and it should all be fine and Tony will be back to the guy he was before all this.”

“That’s great!” With that, she headed off to where her own car was parked and started her own drive home with a lighter heart for the first time since she’d seen Tony in the hospital after the overdose

~*~

Once they got home, Tony was in a much better state and able to get himself out of the car. Gibbs planned to cook something nice and simple for dinner that would just get something into Tony because he was looking pale after his torment with the trial and then the psychiatrist visit and everything that had happened over the past few days.

He led Tony into the kitchen and made him some coffee while he cooked. “You get that down you and I’ll see about making some pasta to eat. How does that sound?” he asked.

“Like a good idea,” Tony replied, as he sipped at the hot cup of coffee. Gibbs nodded and Tony say and watched him work his way around the kitchen, as he watched he decided that he had some plans for tonight that didn’t involve food but he’d do it Gibbs’ way first

It took only twenty minutes for Gibbs to cook dinner and then only fifteen for them to eat it all and that was when Tony put his plan into action.

Gibbs stood up and collected the plates and everything to load into the dishwasher and Tony took that chance to stand up and rub his hands up and down Gibbs’ back.

“What’s that for?” he asked, standing up and stretching.

“Just because,” Tony replied, looking shy. He leaned over to Gibbs and kissed him on the lips, not deeply, but soft and gentle like a first kiss. Gibbs moaned softly and took Tony round the waist and deepened the kiss.

“Why don’t we move to the bedroom?” Tony asked, quietly, still not totally sure he could go through with his plans but wanting to try for Gibbs’ sake.

“You sure?” Gibbs asked.

“As sure as I’m ever gonna be,” Tony replied.

“Okay.” Gibbs led the way, taking Tony by the hand and walking slowly so that Tony knew there was no pressure involved in what they were doing and that he could stop at any time and Gibbs wouldn’t mind.

It was Tony who made the first move once they were there, taking off his shirt and pants so that he was stood there in just his boxers and socks, he had a semi-erection that was poking through the hole in his boxers. Sensing that this was really what Tony wanted, Gibbs followed suit, but he also removed his socks. His erection was more prominent, but that didn’t seem to worry or phase Tony so Gibbs relaxed a bit more into the situation and lay on the bed, patting the side next to him to get Tony to join him.

Once they were laid side by side, Tony leant over and kissed Gibbs, this time more passionately, his hands wandered nervously until they found Gibbs’ erection and he started to fondle it, which caused it to grow. Gibbs groaned into the kiss, letting Tony know he was doing all the right things and Gibbs decided to reciprocate.

One thing led to another and soon both men were naked, sweaty and sporting hard erections that were leaking pre-cum. Gibbs reached for the lube and a condom from the bed side table and spread some on his fingers, thinking that they’d come this far without Tony freaking out that they could go further. He reached round to Tony’s hole and started to spread some lube around it, but before he could penetrate, Tony froze.

“I…I can’t,” he stammered.

“I thought you wanted to?” Gibbs asked, removing his hand and looking at Tony who suddenly looked very panicked and had lost his erection partly.

“I did, but I can’t, it just makes me think of him, but I still want to do something, I need to get over this hurdle somehow.” As he spoke, he was using one hand to stroke his half-soft dick back up to a full erection.

“Would you like to do me?” Gibbs asked, knowing that it had been a long time since he’d been a bottom but as long as Tony did it right them there should only be minimal pain.

“You sure?” Tony asked, honoured that his partner would allow him to do that.

“Tony, I love you, I’d love to be joined to you like that, I’d be honoured,” Gibbs replied, kissing Tony gently. He gave Tony the lube and condom and put his leg over Tony’s waist to give him easier access.

Tony took a deep breath and squeezed some lube out onto his fingers, he used one to circle Gibbs’ hole and then gently inserted one finger to loosen, rubbing round, he watched Gibbs’ face for any sign of discomfort - he saw none. Gibbs let out the breath he’d been holding, he remembered it being worse than this.

“Is it okay?” Tony asked, as he removed one and then put two fingers in, spreading the lube around to ease access for later.

“It’s different from the last time - better though,” Gibbs admitted as he got used to a second finger.

“Are you ready for me, yet?” Tony asked, stroking his own erection as he scissored his fingers inside Gibbs to stretch him.

“Try another finger first,” Gibbs replied, desperate to feel Tony inside him, but at the same time not wanting to rush it. Tony added more lube to his fingers and inserted a third along with the other two, Gibbs felt the burn and a little pain, but mostly it was nice and a full feeling that he remembered from the last time he had sex with a man.

Gibbs groaned and saw stars as Tony crooked his fingers just so to hit that bundle of nerves that brought so much pleasure. “I’m ready,” he said, breathlessly.

Tony took out his fingers and slicked up and lined up his cock, ready to enter Gibbs. He was nervous because he’d never done this before and he was worried about hurting his partner, but Gibbs seemed more than ready for him. He pushed the head in and held still when it entered, letting Gibbs get used to the feeling, he didn’t need to wait long as Gibbs moved against him, pushing him further into his body.

Thrusts that started out timed and concise because erratic, sweat built up on both men’s bodies as they gasped with pleasure, Tony had his aim just right that every thrust in hit Gibbs’ prostate, which caused Gibbs to clench round Tony’s cock and groan loudly.

Neither of them knew how long they lasted but before long, Gibbs was coming, shouting out Tony’s name, cum spurting in shots over his stomach between his and Tony’s bodies. Tony came hard following Gibbs, the tight clenching of Gibbs’ muscles pushing him over the edge, he collapsed forward onto Gibbs and lay there breathing erratically.

“You okay?” Gibbs asked, running his hands through Tony’s hair.

“Mmmm,” was Tony’s reply. He sounded very satisfied.

“That good, huh?”

“I’m on another planet and it was very good. What about you?”

“Better than I remembered.”

Tony slowly pulled out of Gibbs, disposed of the condom and collapsed back on the bed, Gibbs pulled the covers over the top of them and decided that a good sleep was in order, after all they’d done their celebrating for the day.

Chapter Fifty-Four

The following morning, Tony was the first one to wake up and he looked over at Gibbs still sleeping away next to him. He felt liberated in a way to have managed to get over the hurdle that the rape had placed in front of him and to have finally been intimate with Gibbs in a way he could only have dreamed of before all of this happened. Now, though the next step lay ahead of him before he could actually say that he had overcome the rape and everything that it had placed in front of him. He had come through the overdose, albeit with difficulty, he had come through the investigation and the trial that followed and had seen his attacker and accomplices sent to jail. Now, though he had to take that final step and return to the job he loved, to become a full time active NCIS Field Agent again.

The first step would be to call the Director. He’d been cleared to work both physically and mentally…but still he would have to inform the Director of his planned return because of the temporary Agent filling his spot on Gibbs’ team. He thought about doing that while Gibbs slept, but then decided against it and got up, pulled on some sweat pants and headed towards the kitchen. He was going to make Gibbs breakfast in bed to continue their celebrations from the night before. Maybe one day they’d be celebrating Tony managing to overcome the rape totally, but for now this was enough.

Tony set about making breakfast for Gibbs whilst amusing himself thinking back to the events of the night before, he’d had sex before but as he thought about it he realised that last night had been more about ‘making love’ than just sex, which was something he’d never experienced, even with Jeanne.

He put the eggs and bacon on a plate and then dug around Gibbs’ kitchen for a tray that he could carry the plate and hot cup of steamy coffee upstairs with. He found one and after giving it a quick once over with a wet cloth, loaded everything onto it and headed back up the stairs towards the bedroom which he should really start calling ‘theirs’ rather than just ‘Gibbs’’

Gibbs was still asleep when he entered the room so he placed the tray on the bedside cabinet and climbed back into bed, spooning up behind Gibbs and reaching round to tweak the man’s nipples. That got him a groan and Gibbs’ eyes opened.

“What you doing, DiNozzo?” he asked, sleepily.

“You know, after last night I think you can call me Tony, but I digress, I made you breakfast in bed,” Tony replied, his voice light.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Gibbs said, pulling himself up and sitting in bed. Tony sat up next to him and handed him the tray that held his breakfast and coffee. He hadn’t made himself anything, but he wasn’t feeling hungry and although he would need some coffee to take his morning tablets, he figured it could wait until Gibbs was done with his breakfast and up out of bed.

Gibbs leaned over and gave Tony a peck of the cheek and then began eating the breakfast his lover had prepared for him. Once he was done, he handed the tray to Tony. “Gonna grab a shower, hadn’t you better take your meds?” he said, pushing back the covers and getting out of bed.

Tony looked at him, still naked from the night before and smiled. It was hard to concentrate on everyday things when he had a sight like that in front of him! “Yeah, I’m on it, boss,” he said, the old phrase slipping out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

Gibbs smiled and headed to the en suite bathroom. “To repeat your earlier words, after last night, hadn’t you better call me Jethro?”

Whilst Gibbs showered, Tony thought about calling the Director and discussing the ‘back to work’ plan he had formed in his head. He thought about talking it over with Gibbs first but decided that he’d been making big decisions for himself for years before Gibbs came along so why should now be any different?

He headed down to the kitchen with the tray, emptied the dirty dish and cup into the sink and headed to the phone. He dialed the number for the NCIS HQ at the Navy yard and waited to be connected to the Director’s office.

“Director Shepherd’s office, how may I direct your call?” Cynthia said, answering the phone.

“Hey, Cynthia, it’s Tony DiNozzo, I was wondering if I could have a word with Jenny?” Tony asked.

“She’s free for the next five minutes, I’ll just put you through,” she said, putting Tony on hold and then transferring the call. “I have Tony DiNozzo on the line for you Director,” she said into the intercom.

“Thanks, Cynthia, I’ll take it,” Jenny replied. “Tony, how are you feeling? I hear the court case went fine, what can I do for you?”

“I got the all clear from the NCIS shrink and my medical docs think I’m okay to go back to work, so I wanted to talk to you about coming in and arranging a date for me to start back. I’m going crazy here with nothing to do and Gibbs’ place isn’t exactly set up the same way as my own apartment was in the way of entertainment,” Tony said, sighing. He would definitely have to dig out some of his DVD’S and things and set up the sound system if this thing with Gibbs was going to become permanent, which it looked like it was.

Jenny sighed to herself and thought about what to do, she had known that Tony would eventually want to return to work, but she’d hoped she would have had longer to prepare herself.

“I need to research some things before we meet, so could we do it next week some time?” she asked, trying to hide the jealousy in her voice. Tony was living with Gibbs now? When had that happened?

“That sounds fine, I can come in after I see my therapist on Tuesday?”

“What time would that be?”

“About midday.”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay, see you then. I better go, Gibbs is banging around in the kitchen looking for coffee and you know how he can get,” Tony said, laughing, before handing up the phone.

The Director put down the phone and stared straight ahead. Ever since Tony’s overdose, Gibbs had been stuck to his side like glue. He’d barely shown up at work when usually she had to order him to go home to rest and he’d stuck his teeth into the investigation of Tony’s rape and dug around, working McGee, Ziva and Abby harder that he had ever done before. She’d never seen him like that before, not even with Ari after Kate had died. What was it that was so special about the man that made Gibbs so concerned that he would call off work for as long as he had and now it seemed that Tony and Gibbs were living together? No, this wouldn’t do, something had to be done and it looked like she was the only one who saw it.

She pulled up the health care guidelines and started reading through them. Surely there was something in there that would give her grounds to ‘retire’ Tony out of NCIS and back into some local police department and then she would have Gibbs all to herself - the way it used to be. The way it should be.

Chapter Fifty-Five

Tony climbed into Gibbs’ car following his therapy session and sat back as Gibbs started the engine and turned the car in the direction of the Navy yard. His appointment with the Director had come around quicker than he had expected and despite a good therapy session, he was still feeling quite nervous about asking for his job back. After all, it had been over four months since he’d set foot in the office.

He knew that Jenny had hired a temporary replacement for him to help the team manage their cases during his absence and that with Gibbs taking a lot of time off work to stay with him and take him to therapy and hospital appointments, it would be very different going into an office and seeing a team that he had once been apart of and was now running itself without Gibbs at the head.

That wasn’t to say that they managed completely without him - there were still the frequent calls from Abby, McGee, Ziva and Ducky when a problem arised that needed Gibbs’ seniority and wisdom.

Still, he wondered how they would all react to his replacement leaving and him taking back up his role as Senior Field Agent - especially considering that now he was sleeping with the boss.

They arrived at the Navy yard quickly - which wasn’t unusual, given the speed at which Gibbs usually drove and Gibbs parked in his usual space before stopping the car and getting out. Tony took a deep breath and walked a few steps behind him towards the entrance to NCIS HQ. He knew these people so well, had worked in the office for near enough seven years, but still, he was nervous to how they would react to working with him again when they’d seen him at his most vulnerable - when they’d investigated his own rape. The most vulnerable part of himself that he usually kept hidden at all costs had been laid out in front of them to scrutinise and investigate.

They both stepped into the elevator that would take them up to the office after passing through the security checkpoint. Tony felt slightly sick at the thought of seeing everyone again and took a few deep breaths to keep himself in check. The last thing he needed to do was to work himself up into a seizure or something.

Gibbs noticed that Tony was nervous and slipped his hand into Tony’s, giving it a loving squeeze to let him know that whatever happened, they were in this together and that he wasn’t leaving him - no matter what happened. It calmed Tony and he found he was finally able to take a breath without worrying that he was going to actually be sick.

The elevator dinged as they arrived on the floor and they both stepped out of the elevator together, still hand in hand, which also made Tony nervous. How were the other people who shared the floor with them going to react to their relationship? Would they think Gibbs pitied him following the rape? Would they even notice? So far, he hadn’t seen any ‘looks’ that told him anyone had noticed that the two men were walking together, hand in hand, which made him feel better.

Gibbs walked with him, past the bullpen and towards the stairs that led to the second level where the Director’s office was located. He thought about walking Tony the whole way to the office and waiting outside while he spoke with Jenny about his return to work, but decided that he would have to do this on his own at some point and now seemed like a better time than any.

“This is as far as I go, Tony,” he said, letting go of the man’s hand. “You go the rest of the way on your own, but I’m only going to be in the office with the others, waiting to hear about when you can come back and we can finally get rid of the replacement that isn’t nearly as half as smart as you are.” He leaned in and kissed the top of Tony’s head.

“Okay,” Tony replied, sounding and looking even more nervous than he had in the elevator.

“You’ll be fine, after all you’ve been declared fit and there’s nothing in the guidelines that will stop you from returning. This is just a formality.”

“Can’t you come with me?”

Gibbs smiled. “The Director may seem scary, but you’ve faced her before and you can do it again. I think you need to do this one alone.”

Tony took a deep breath and nodded. Before he could change his mind or make up any more excuses he turned and practically ran up the stairs and along the corridor to the Director’s office. Once there, he took another deep breath and entered into Cynthia’s work space.

“Hey, Cynthia, I’m here to see the Director. She should be expecting me?” Tony said, giving Cynthia a smile he reserved for woman he liked.

“Sure, Tony, go right in.”

“Thanks.”

Without losing any of the false bravado he’d put on for Cynthia, he knocked once on the door and then walked into the Director’s office.

The Director was sitting behind her desk, typing, she looked up when Tony knocked and gave a strained smile as he entered. She had, so far, found nothing in the medical guidelines that would give her just cause to ‘retire’ DiNozzo from his position as Senior Field Agent and had almost giving up looking when she’d found a clause that might help her. She kept the window open so that she could refer to it while she was talking with Tony. He couldn’t know that it was more for personal reasons that she didn’t want him back, he had to believe it was only because of guidelines that she couldn’t help or change - even as Director of NCIS.

“Good to see you, Tony. You look a lot better than I thought you would. How did your therapy session go?” she asked, trying to get the pleasantries over and done with before she went in for the kill.

“It went fine, we talked over rearranging my appointments to fit into my work schedule once I return full time,” Tony replied, drawing calming breathes. It was strange, now that he was actually *in* the office, facing the Director he felt a calmness wash over him, after all Gibbs was right. There was nothing in the guidelines that stated he couldn’t do his job and all of his doctors and an independent NCIS appointed psychiatrist had agreed that he was now well enough both mentally and physically to do the job he loved so much.

The Director hid her distaste at Tony’s words well, not showing him that he shouldn’t have thought so far ahead as to plan appointments when he would be back working at the agency. If she had her way, he wouldn’t return and she would have Gibbs back to herself - the way it should be.

“Well, I’m sorry to tell you but I can not offer you your job back,” she said, going in for the kill.

Tony looked shocked at her words and she had to force herself to not smile at the impact it had had on him.

“W…why not?” Tony stammered.

“With your seizures and heart condition…” she started.

“That are both controlled by drugs and my doctor has said I am safe to return to work!” Tony interrupted.

“If you would let me finish,” she said, pausing for effect. “With your seizures and heart condition, I feel that the job would place you under massive amounts of stress which would exacerbate your conditions and could leave the team you work with in danger.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if you’re working a sting and you get yourself in a stressful situation where someone, say, Gibbs, is threatened, the stress could bring on a seizure or heart attack which would leave him open to attack. You seriously can not think that you are up to standard with performance as you were before this incident?”

“My doctors seem to think I am,” Tony stated, standing his ground. He had noticed the glint in the Director’s eye, one that told him she was doing this more for personal reasons than anything else. He also knew that Gibbs and Ducky had gone over the guidelines with a fine tooth comb to check that he would be able to return and would have found any such information before now and sort to find a way around it.

“It’s not up to your doctors, as Director of NCIS, I have the final say about anyone working here and on what team they can work. I have no problem with you returning to work here, but it would be a desk job, away from Gibbs’ team and with no field work involved. That is the only job I can offer you in good conscience that would not endanger the lives of other agents. Agents who are better at their job than you ever have been,” she told him, referring to the replacement that had taken Tony’s place on the team following his rape and subsequent overdose.

“So, you’re going to stick me behind a desk when you know I can do good out there, that I work well with my team…hell, I even led them for a while when Gibbs ‘retired’ and now you’re telling me my work was not up to standard?” Tony could feel himself getting more and more worked up and angry at the fact that somehow the Director had found out about his relationship with Gibbs and was jealous. He could see it in her face, in her expression, in the way she spoke. She wanted to move him out of Gibbs’ eye line so that she could try and win back the man she threw away years ago and who had shown no interest in her since. There was no way he was going to take this lying down.

“I think that would be the best situation for all involved. I’ve arranged for you to work with Special Agent Briggs, he works in Norfolk, but I’m sure he won’t mind accommodating your medical appointments and such as need be. Besides, you would be closer to Bethesda then should something happen,” the Director told him, the glee that she was winning this battle, apparent in her voice.

“And if I refuse to accept the transfer to Norfolk?” Tony asked, his voice laced with anger and betrayal.

“It is ultimately your choice, but I have nothing else for you here, so I would have no choice but to terminate your employment with NCIS,” Jenny told him, still talking in a sickly sweet voice that gave away her ulterior motive.

“This isn’t the last of this,” Tony muttered, standing up from his seat and slamming the door as he left. He stormed down the stairs to the bullpen, where Gibbs and his fellow team members were waiting for him to give them the good news of his start date.

Gibbs noticed his face first and broke away from the conversation he was having with Ziva, McGee and Abby. Slowly, they all stopped talking and turned to watch Gibbs walk towards Tony. “McGee, get Ducky…NOW!” he shouted back to them, as he took three large strides and caught Tony as he went down in the grips of a seizure.

Chapter Fifty-Six

Tony seized for a good three minutes before McGee appeared with Ducky at his side, carrying his medical bag. “What happened, Jethro?” he asked, looking down at Gibbs who had Tony’s head in his lap as he body thrashed around.

“I don’t know, he had a meeting with the Director, stormed down the stairs and I noticed he was breathing fast and spotted that he was about to have a seizure before he fell so I caught him.”

“Good, then we can rule out a head injury, did he take his medication this morning?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he did.”

“Good, then it should ease and stop soon, if it doesn’t I have some diazepam in my bag which I can inject into his thigh to stop it. I ordered some after he was diagnosed in case something like this happened.”

“Good thinking, Duck,” Gibbs said, trying to hide the worry and anger from his voice. Worry because this was the first seizure that Tony had had in months and anger because he was sure that it was something the Director had said to him to have caused this. He planned to find out what that something was the very second he could leave Tony.

They both watched Tony as the thrashing slowed and started to stop. A few minutes after that, he opened his eyes. “Hey, there, beautiful,” Gibbs said, giving Tony a smile. “Wondered how long I’d have to have your head in my lap before you woke up!”

“What happened?” Tony asked, slurring his speech a little.

“I dunno, you tell me. All I know is you came outta that office with a bug up your ass and I saw the warning signs that you were about to seize and caught you as you went down,” Gibbs told him, totally oblivious to the fact that they were in a now very crowded office as everyone on the floor decided to see what was causing all the excitement.

Ducky took charge. “Can everyone go back to their seats, please. Give the poor boy some space to breathe.”

“Feel like I’m in a zoo and I’m the main attraction,” Tony half-whispered, taking in the crowd that had formed around Gibbs and himself.

Gibbs handed Tony over to Ducky and blew a whistle through his teeth. “Hey, people. Back to your desks, there’s nothing to see here!” The tone of voice Gibbs used told everyone that he was deadly serious and the crowd dissipated, leaving just a very worried looking Abby, concerned McGee and confused Ziva standing around the bull pen, unsure of what to do with themselves.

Gibbs turned to his team. “McGee, get Tony’s chair over here so we can get him sitting up,” he said, and McGee busied himself doing that whilst Ziva and Abby just looked at Tony.

Seeing the concern in Abby’s eyes, Tony smiled his best smile, “hey, don’t worry about me, Abs, I’m fine. That just happens sometimes when I get too stressed out and don’t talk it through with someone.”

“Okay, Tony, so long as you’re sure you’re okay and if you need to talk to someone, you can always come down to my lab and hang,” Abby said, returning Tony’s smile.

Between Gibbs and McGee they managed to get Tony standing and then helped him walk over to the chair, unaware that the whole time they were under the watchful eye of Director Jenny Shepherd who was thinking that if she had to deal with an angry Gibbs on Tony’s behalf she would not be able to hide her real reasons for wanting him transferred to Norfolk. He would see through her lies so she had to avoid a confrontation at any cost.

Back in the bull pen, Gibbs was crouched down on the floor so that he was at the same level as Tony. He dismissed the rest of the team with a glare and looked at his co-worker slash partner. “Tell me what she said that got you so worked up that you had a seizure,” he said, softly, still trying to keep any anger out of his voice so that Tony wouldn’t think it was directed at him.

“She told me she can’t, in good conscience allow me to be a full time field agent and that it would be best for me to be transferred to the field office in Norfolk where I can spend the rest of my days doing desk work,” Tony replied.

“Why? The docs have cleared you and Ducky and I went over the guidelines so many times I could probably quote a few of them at you and there was nothing there that said that you had to do desk work.”

“She said that I wasn’t safe to be around the team whilst out in the field. She said that if our cover was blown for an op, I would most likely seize and give away our position, putting other agents, and better agents than me I might add, at risk.”

“She said that?”

“I’m paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it.”

“Right. You, stay here, catch up with your team mates, and listen and do whatever Ducky tells you to do. I have someone I need to talk to.”

“No, Gibbs, you can’t just go in there all guns blazing. I think…”

“I’m not letting this happen, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I think she knows about us and I think she’s jealous, feels that I’ve stolen you from her or something because she seemed mightily happy for someone who’d just lost a senior field agent,” Tony admitted. If anything though, that made Gibbs even more angry. He glared at Tony, repeating his earlier instructions and then stormed up the stairs in the direction of the Director’s office.

~*~

Gibbs didn’t knock when he stormed into the Director’s office, he didn’t even pause when Cynthia looked up from her desk. The Director was behind her desk, but looked like she would rather be anywhere than there at that particular moment in time. Gibbs didn’t even wait for the door to slam shut behind him before shouting, “what the hell did you tell DiNozzo?”

“I know you’re angry, Gibbs, but you have to understand…” the Director started.

“I don’t have to understand anything than the fact that you are jealous, jealous that I’ve made myself happy by finally admitting my feelings for him, by letting him into my life, my home and my bed - something you never quite managed.”

“I recall being in your bed more than once,” she quipped, though the full extent of Gibbs’ words were still sinking in. “Wait, he’s in your bed?!”

“Yeah, but you knew that already, hence all this crap about him being a danger to the team and his transfer to Norfolk being the only appropriate action you could take.”

“I…I didn’t know you were in a relationship with him,” Jenny said, sounding disgusted and feeling even more jealous about the attention DiNozzo received from Gibbs now that there was something intimate about it.

“Then why did you want him transferred? And don’t give me that crap about it being for the best of the team!”

“It’s in the guidelines…” she started.

“Don’t lie to me! I went over those guidelines with Ducky, musta been a thousand times and we found nothing that said anything of the sort.”

“It was a clause that stated that if the employee in question had a condition that would threaten the lives of their fellow team members they should be transferred out to desk duty only.”

“He’s not a threat to our lives!”

“What if he has a seizure and gives away your position in a delicate situation?”

“He can deal with the stress of the job!”

“Like he dealt with the stress of my transferring him?” she asked, with a smirk on her face.

“So, you saw that, huh?”

“Yeah, as did the rest of the floor.”

“You betrayed DiNozzo, that kind of stress is very different to what we deal with on the job. Not that would know, having sat on your ass in an office for the past few years.”

“I was a good agent!”

“Yeah, the key word there being ’was’.”

“Fine. My decision is final. DiNozzo can return to work at Norfolk doing a job that wouldn’t risk the lives of any agent and as Director of NCIS, my word is final.”

“Then be prepared to deal with my resignation and the resignation of everyone I work with and who has worked with Tony in the past, because we won’t stand for this,” Gibbs told her.

She faltered a little. “I can replace you. No one is irreplaceable.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that when you get the next terrorist attack and find yourself with a team worth their weight in gold to dispatch.”

“I can’t believe you would throw away a job you love over him.” The Director said his name with so much disgust that it was a good thing Gibbs had been raised to never strike a woman - especially in anger.

“I love him, pure and simple. I can get another job, given my credentials anywhere I want.”

“I need you here at NCIS, Gibbs,” she said, hating how pleading her voice sounded.

“Then reconsider your decision about Tony.”

“Fine, tell him to report for duty on Monday, but if he kills you all don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“He won’t,” Gibbs replied, confident in his answer. He gave the Director the biggest smile he could muster, which wasn’t much since he was still fuming at her blatant homophobia. He left the office without slamming the door and headed back to the bullpen, now all he had to do was convince Tony.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Gibbs found Tony still sat in the chair, staring into space. He looked up when he saw Gibbs approach. “How did it go?” he asked, sounding concerned.

“She said you don’t have to be transferred, that she made a mistake and you are to report for duty on Monday as usual,” Gibbs told him, a smile on his face.

“I’ve been thinking about what she said.”

“Ignore it, Tony, it was just jealousy speaking.”

“Because of our relationship?”

“She claimed to not know about it, but I’m not sure if I believe her.”

“Well, she’s right about one thing.”

“Yeah? And what’s that?”

“I’m not safe to have around as an active field agent.”

“What gave you that crazy idea?”

“Look at what just happened. I get stressed out by the Director and I have a seizure, how am I going to cope with undercover work or a covert op? If we’re about to make a sting and I get so stressed I seize, I’m going to be putting everyone’s lives in danger. If anything, she proved that today.”

“Tony, listen to me. You’re a good agent, you’ve worked here long enough to know what kind of stress we deal with on a day to day basis and you cope with it. You’ve learnt to cope with it.”

“How do we know I won’t react like I did today?”

“I know you won’t.”

“But how?”

“DiNozzo, just trust me on this, you’ve been my senior field agent for near enough seven years and you’ve never let me down and I don’t expect you to start now.”

“I’m sorry, Gibbs, but that isn’t enough. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I put you or the rest of the team in danger because of a condition I gave myself,” Tony said, looking at his hands. “I know you think it won’t happen, but we can’t be sure that I’ll cope with the stress of the job in the same way as I did before, we can’t be sure that my body won’t go into a seizure and give away our position at a really vital point in a sting. If you can’t give me promises with firm proof, I’ll have to transfer to Norfolk and do a job where nobody can get hurt by my own mistake.”

Gibbs looked at Tony, with his head bowed and tried to think of something he could say to the man to change his mind, to make him see that Gibbs and everyone else believed that he would be fine as an active field agent. He could understand that the seizure had knocked his confidence, especially when it had happened after a meeting with the Director, but that kind of stress was more brought about by the fact that Tony had gone into the meeting believing the Director was going to do her best to get him back into his old job and was on his side - when in fact, she had been trying to use everything in her power to get him as far away from NCIS HQ (or more likely, Gibbs) as possible. The stress of her betrayal was what caused the seizure, Gibbs was sure of it. How could he make Tony see that though?

“Tony, do you really think I’d have kept a place for you on my team if I didn’t believe you could give me 110%. My team is for the best people at NCIS, I don’t except failure and believe me I would have told you by now if I didn’t think you were up to the job - no matter what kind of personal relationship we had. I wouldn’t let you put Ziva or McGee’s lives in danger and I wouldn’t want you on my team if I believed you would. I most certainly wouldn’t have gone head to head with the Director for you if I believed any different,” Gibbs explained.

There was something in the tone of his voice that made Tony look up and into Gibbs’ eye. He could see only sincerity there, he wasn’t lying to him, he honestly believed that Tony was up to the job and if Gibbs believed in him, maybe he should as well.

“Okay, I’ll be back Monday and whatshisface better not have messed with my things!” Tony said, a cheeky smile on his face. He stood up and walked towards the elevator, Gibbs trailing a few steps behind.

“Come on then, we only have a few days left before we’ll both be too tired to do anything in bed but sleep and I have a few things planned,” Gibbs told him, pushing the button to call the elevator. Once it arrived they stepped inside, telling no one that they were leaving, which would mean that no one got to say goodbye to Tony but he’d be back on Monday - 7am sharp, ready to start working again, and in a way, living his life again.

It had been over four months since the rape that had landed Tony in hospital with a Vicodin overdose and in that time he had learnt many things. He listed them in his head as he watched Gibbs drive them back to his, no, their place. He’d learnt that no matter what you could always count on your friends to come through for you, that justice may take time, but it always prevails and that Jethro Gibbs was full of surprises. Some of them good, some of them not so good, but he had the rest of his life to explore them all and if anything, he was grateful to him for not turning around that day and heading to work without him, for using his key and checking on him, for calling Ducky and for ultimately saving his life even though at the time he had really not wanted to live it.

He still had a long way to go before he would be classed as ‘recovered’, but heading back to work was the first step on a path of many and once he took that one, what could hold him back from taking the rest of them?