Summary: After the events of Internal Affairs, someone will be there for Tony. Will he let anyone in?
Categories: Gibbs/DiNozzo Characters: Anthony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs
Genre: Angst, Character study, Drama, Episode Related, First Time, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, PWP - Plot, What Plot? , Pre-slash
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Warnings: None
Challenges: Series: None
Chapters: 4
Completed: Yes
Word count: 14570
Read: 18569
Published: 04/29/2008
Updated: 08/26/2008
Story Notes:
This story was born in the waning moments of the episode. A couple of lines
from a favorite song started running through my head, specifically "Standing alone in
solitude, holding your head in your hands. Tears play like rain on your fingertips. Who but
yourself is to blame?" (Asia, The Last To Know, 1983). I started writing, shipped it off to
Ange and a baby fic was born. We hope you like our purty li'l darlin' as much as we do!
Disclaimer: Not ours, sadly. But we love playing with them!
Special thanks to our beta goddess, Anna! We couldn;t have done this without her
excellent suggestions and guidance. And the new plot bunneh ;)
1. Last to Know by silverfoxfiles
2. Chapter 2 by silverfoxfiles
3. Last to Know Ch 3 by silverfoxfiles
4. The end by silverfoxfiles
Last to Know by silverfoxfiles
Author's Notes:
After the events of Internal Affairs, someone will be there for Tony. Will he let anyone in?
It took less than five minutes for Jethro to lose the tail. Nobodyâ"nobodyâ"was going to know about the safehouse he had for his team. Heâd called Tony, gave him a prearranged code and parked two blocks away. Jethro made sure he wasnât followed and went inside. Heâd also told everyone else to stay away and not to call, had stocked the place with alcohol and frozen pizza earlier today. He was the only one who could deal with this and he wanted to. He needed to.
There Tony was on the couch, head in his hands. Jethro crossed the room, standing behind the couch before leaning over, putting his chin on Tonyâs shoulder, wrapping his arms around him from behind. Tony needed more, that much was clear, so without breaking his hold, he climbed over the back of the couch and pulled the crying manâs head against his shoulder, hand burrowing into Tonyâs hair. âIâm here, Tony. Iâm here. Youâre not alone.â
âHow could she do that to me? I wasnât there; I wasnât anywhere near there. Fornell just assumed, again, that I could murder someone. If I hadnât have been so fucked up, I might have considered it.â Tony felt calmer knowing that Gibbs was here and would take care of him. He didnât have to be strong; he could let go and no one would think differently.
âI told her it was all a lie. I let her walk away to hopefully find the peace she needs. I just donât know that itâs going to help. I did that to her! I turned her into this damaged woman. She wasnât like that when I met her; she was sweet and caring. I took that away from her.â
Heâd expected Tony to be broken up, but he hadnât expected Tony to be broken. âFornell means nothing. We all knew it was a setup. Woman scorned. None of us doubted you for a second, Tony. Weâve been here before.â He tilted Tonyâs head up, forcing him to look into his eyes.
âYou gave her a gift, Tony. Youâre the better person. It hurts like your heart getting ripped out a thousand times a second. I know. Iâve been there a few times now, few times too many. But you didnât do it to her. Her fatherâs life did that. You got way too involved, but you got hurt too. Sheâs a grown woman, a doctor. Your charm and big smile arenât that blinding.â
He could kill Jenny for putting Tonyâs heart on the line. She sure as hell wasnât here and wasnât welcome. Ever. She was probably celebrating her reinstatement. âWomen can be the coldest bitches on Earth, DiNozzo. Why do we do this to ourselves?â
Tony ducked his head back down, pressing his face into Jethroâs shirt. âYou want some liquid therapy, Tony? Or we can just sit here. Iâm not leaving. I promise you; Iâm not leaving. Whatever you need, you tell me. Iâll make it happen. Youâre not alone.â
âDrink, then sit here? Iâm not ready to face the world right now. Not sure if Iâm ever going to be ready.â Tony loved how solid Gibbs was, and that he wasnât trying to get out of here. âI know itâs not my fault. I needed to do this, hell, I shouldnât have even gotten involved to begin with. Jenny never told me that I should sleep with her. Never said I should fall in love with her. I screwed this up, boss. I screwed it up so bad. Instead of dealing with things sheâd rather frame me for murder. Iâm sorry, thatâs fucked up.â
âJenny used you, Tony. Jenny knew how easy it is for some guys to get involved. She didnât mean for you to get hurt, but the fact remains you did.â Jethro disengaged himself gently from Tony and yanked his coat off. He grabbed a couple of beers and poured Tony a whiskey, bringing the bottle over.
âYou know the drill: take the shot and follow it with the beer. Itâll take the edge off.â Jethro forced Tonyâs chin up again. âYou didnât screw up. Jeanne needs to take responsibility for what she did. Sheâs not a kid, DiNozzo. Ever think some of her daddyâs traits got passed on?â
âSure, you think it didnât cross my mind? Her mother was as bad as her father. Barracuda wears Prada. Jeanne said she was passionate about her work, but I donât believe it. She was awful.â That night had been horrible. The woman had a complete stage mother complex and refused to even try to act human.
âShe wasnât like either of them; she was good. She wanted to do good things and help people. She was angry. She was hurt and she acted out. Iâve had my car egged, crap left in my closet, various other acts of revenge against me. None of my former companions had ever accused me of murder.â
âThink finding out what Daddy was coulda changed her? You and me, we have a weak spot when it comes to women. What was it you said? Redheads are my kryptonite? Iâve got the one who stalks me, the one who was certifiable, literally, the one who cleaned me out and then married the guy I thought was my best friend. Assaulted by all three of âem at one time are another. The first one was the only one worth keeping. And you know what happened to her.â
Jethro downed a large gulp of beer, thinking maybe he needed something stronger too. âShit happens to a lot of people. Some of âem use it as an excuse to be sociopaths. Some of âem donât. All of âem gotta own what they do. And you gotta get rid of the hero complex thing. You had a weak moment. You fell in love. That didnât make you a bastard.â
âNo, lying to her and saying that it meant nothing to me made me a bastard. The rest, it made me human.â Tony took a swig of his beer before closing his eyes. Gibbs was right, he was a sucker for women, didnât even have a specific type. Not unless long legs was a type. âIâll never do it again, that much I can tell you. Love isnât worth it. I get my life fucked up and some crazy woman coming after me. Not worth it.â
âMakes you an honorable man, Tony. I couldnât have done it. You gave her more than she deserved. You gave her a way to move on and sacrificed yourself. Iâm too much of a bastard to have done that. Nine out of ten guys wouldnât have done what you did.â
Jethro grabbed the whiskey and took a slug before gulping down a long pull of beer. âSex, companionship, never has to touch your heart. Stay above all of it. Use âem before they use you. Unless the right one comes along, and youâll know better than to screw that up. Like Shannon. I knewâŠâ
Why was he doing this? Why was he bringing up his biggest heartache? He never discussed her. With anyone.
Tony broke the silence. âIâm not interested even in the right one. I used to be able to love them and leave them. It was never a problem for me, up until recently. Iâd never even considered a long term relationship before her, and now Iâm sure I know why.â He didnât feel honorable or like heâd given Jeanne any sort of closure. The way she looked at him made him feel two feet tall. âIâve got a hand, I donât even need to use them before sending them away. They can just stay away.â
He wouldnât mention Paula right now. He wouldnât do that to Tony and add to his sadness. âYou never loved âem before her, DiNozzo. Stop fooling yourself. Iâm giving you honesty here. Give it back. Youâre getting more honesty than anyone, ever. Give it back, DiNozzo.â
Jethro snorted. âA hand. Like that excuse works. You find a hand that can kiss you, touch you, your hand feel as warm and wet as an aroused woman, you find a hand that makes your heart race. You find a hand that gives a fuck. You find a jackoff session that ever makes you feel complete, and I wanna know your secret. Because it doesnât happen. Trust me here, Tony, it doesnât. You just feel more and more alone. Yeah, you screw yourself. But it isnât enough. Itâs never enough.â
âCome on, boss, cut me some slack. Iâm trying to make myself feel better, and you throw all that at me.â Tony knew that Gibbs was trying to do right by him, but right now he was more interested in pity than logic. âNo, my hand wonât kiss me or feel like a woman, but it also wonât betray me or take it personally if Iâm doing my job and I canât break its heart. Might be an okay trade off.â
âWhat about Abbs? Someone at work? Someone who wonât expect too much and knows how we are about cases. Abbs canât stop talking about your ass and legs. I donât know what she saw or thinks she saw, but you made a permanent impression. She got drunk after Chip. She couldnât stop talking about you.â
Jethro swallowed hard. Wasnât like he was hiding a damn thing tonight anyway. âTelling you this tonight. Forget about it tomorrow. Took Abby to bed that night. She called out your name, Tony.â Then again, so had he. Theyâd both been so trashed, itâd been amazing theyâd been able to perform.
âAbby wouldnât expect too much from you and sheâs as hot blooded as they come. If you can get past the coffin and the wedding dress thing.â
âYouâd let me date your little girl? Seriously?â No, it wasnât a little girl with her daddy relationship, especially if she and Gibbs ended up in bed together. âAbby is my âBest Friends Weddingâ girl, not my take home to bed and screw when itâs convenient girl.â Seeing the confused look on Gibbs face, Tony did his best Professor DiNardo impersonation.
âItâs a movie, boss. Iâm surprised you havenât seen it, stars a tall redhead, seems like your type of movie.â Ducking the head slap, Tony continued talking. âAnyway, Julia Robertsâ character has a best male friend, and they promise that if theyâre still single when they hit a certain age, theyâll get together. Well, that day is creeping up on her, and she realizes that sheâs in love with her best friend, so she calls to tell him, only to find out that he just got engaged and that the fiancĂ©e expects her to be in the wedding. The rest isnât important and was really rather clichĂ©. But thatâs what Abby is to me. If we were both single and wanted to be married, then sure, Iâd do that for her. But Iâm not sure that sheâs my IT girl. I know Iâm not her IT guy. You, on the other hand⊠She has a thing for your hair. Ask her, sheâll tell you all about it.â
âAbbs has never been my little girl. Mine wouldnât have been allowed to get all that ink.â Though Jethro had been fascinated by the back cross. âEver seen the big one on her back? Must have hurt like hell.â
For a second when Tony started talking about IT girl and guy, Jethro had thought Tony was going to just admit that he was interested. But then he went back to Abby. âTrust me, DiNozzo. We used each other. She called out your name; I called the one I was using her for. I know she wants me, but she wants you too. And in bed that night, it was about you, Tony.â
âWow, Iâve never been told that, at least not when I wasnât in bed with the person. At least someone was enjoying themselves that night. I wasnât thinking sex, I was more concerned about a warm meal and my own bed.â
Jethro met Tonyâs eyes. âYou donât seem to understand. In bed. It was about you, Tony. All about you.â
âYeah, I get it, boss. You two were upset about what happened and sought out a little comfort from someone else who knew what was going on. Iâm glad you guys could do that.â
Jethro growled, not quite believing Tony could be so dense. He had to be using this as foreplay, or some twisted game.
âIâll take full credit for you getting some, itâs about damn time. Itâs been to long since you were married, boss, and that blonde wasnât doing it for you. I donât know what I was thinking, saying she could be the next ex-wife. Now Abby, sheâs probably to smart to marry you, but sheâs got to be a hell of a lot of fun.â
âIâm done with ex-wives, Tony. Got my eye on someone else. Someone whose been making me hard for years now.â
Jethro jerked his own chin toward the bottle and shot glass. âYou donât want me forcing that down your throat, do ya? I poured, you drink.â He paused while Tony downed another shot and then poured himself a double. âSo, youâre guilty of falling in love. Happened to a lot of guys before. Some of us more than once. So, you allowed yourself to think of a future. Been there, too. And I made it. You will too, Tony. Let me get ya through tonight and tomorrow and the next day. One day youâll wake up and it wonât hurt so much. Youâd just better hope she never ends up working in the same building you are and screwing with your team like mine did.â
Jethro lifted his beer. âLong live the queen. More like long live the black widow.â He poured another drink. âLong live the bitch. I hope sheâs having a damn good celebration tonight. Got invited out to dinner. Like Iâd be anywhere but here with you. Everyone wanted to be here. Ziva, McGee, Abby, Duck, even Fornell called to see how you were. He pushed too hard. Didnât think youâd want to see anyone, maybe not even me. If you want me to go, Iâll leave, but just the room. Iâm sticking around tonight. Who else is bringing the drinks? Who else can drag ya to bed if youâre too drunk to walk?â
âThat was mighty gracious of him. Go after me for murder again, then call to see how Iâm doing. How many times does he think he can arrest me before it starts looking like he has it out for me? Oh wait, he does have it out for me.â
âControl over me, the other agencies try to keep me in line. They know you and me, weâre a tight team. TobiasâŠI used to consider a friend. Not any more. He can go to hell. Should have told him that when he married Diane. Wanted me to be best man. Heâs good at putting a guyâs balls in a vise.â
âHeâs a bit delusional, isnât he? You, his best man when he was marrying your ex?â It was laughable to think that they could control Gibbs by going after him. Go after Abby? Yeah, that might work. But not him, he was just another agent in a line of many. âTell him he could try going after another one of your team members the next time. Itâs getting tedious, you having to bail me out constantly.â
âHeâs a bastard. He knows youâre my Achilles heel. Iâd work like hell to save Tim or Ziva, or Duck--even Jenny. But you and Abby are the ones Iâd die for.â Jethro wouldnât say any more on the subject. Heâd said far too much already.
âDonât want you dead, boss. Donât do anything to try to save me if it ever comes down to it. Not worth it. But if it were you, yeah, Iâd do what ever I could to make sure you were okay. You and Abby both, probably McGee if push came to shove. Ziva, Iâd at least make an attempt. But you or Abby, you need a kidney or for me to find you and negotiate your release after being kidnapped by Pygmies, just let me know and Iâm the man for the job.â
âDidnât say I was planning on it, DiNozzo.â He lowered his voice. âI owe you. You could have gotten sick hauling me out of the water. Hell, did I even thank you? Way I drink, Iâll need a liver before a kidney. Abbyâd get hooked up with the Pygmies. Bring âem home, dance with âem. Probably name âem Jethro.â
âShe only did that because she loves you. Iâm not sure that the world could stand another Jethro in it. But youâre right. If anyone were to do something like that, it would be Abbs. She managed to convince McGeek to adopt the dog that attacked him. Sheâs good for us, and keeps us honest. We both need the little ball of goth sunshine she brings to our life.â
âWorld doesnât need this Jethro either, DiNozzo.â Had they already shared a half bottle of whiskey? No wonder he was talking so damn much. âAbbyâs good. Makes us better. Sheâs sunshine with dyed black hair and tattoos. And she makes a hell of a Marilyn Monroe.â
âOh yeah, she does. I had to keep telling myself it was Abby under there, and not some woman I could take home for the night, and pay for a cab in the morning. Abby in the wig and dress, she might be my IT girl after all. Or I can just perv over the memory of her looking so hot. The white dress and the tats. That could feed my hand for a long time.â
Jethro chuckled. âShe did that Mr. President thing and I felt like a dirty old man, Tony. Sheâs wild. And sheâs a natural blonde.â
âI knew that her hair couldnât be that black naturally, but a blonde? I never would have guessed. Maybe sheâll give me a peek some day, if the circumstances were right.â
âWe could make âem right, though you wonât tell by looking there. Sheâs bare. Completely bare, Tony. You ever had someone completely bare like that? Not shaved, Tony. Bare. You tell when she has roots, top of her head.â
âOuch! Explains why once a month sheâs so grouchy. Hot wax on intimate body parts, thatâs got to hurt. But sexy as hell to think about her going through that for her partnerâs personal enjoyment, but you wouldnât catch me getting it done.â
âYou think Abbs is a wax girl? Peruvian, or whatever she said it was called? No. She did one of those fancy permanent things, Tony. Laser something.â Jethro leaned in close. âSome lovers like different textures on their partners. Muscles giving way to softness. Smooth slick skin.â
âThereâs a term I never would have associated with Abby, softness.â He was going to need to confirm this, hopefully Abby wouldnât shoot him when he asked. âIâm taking it to mean you like a little softness in your partner. Someone who can soothe you instead of getting you more worked up.â
âHard and soft together is what gets me off. You ever have that together, Tony? Softness, then hardness. Strong muscle right under silky skin.â A hard cock under velvety soft skin. âSteel covered in softness.â
Jethro let his eyes close. âGetting drunk. Maybe I should go to bed. Leave ya to it. Fornellâs number is in my phone. If you want to do that speed dial thing, Iâll never know.â
When Tony had left Baltimore PD, heâd never considered that heâd be investigated by the FBI once, let alone several times. There was something to add to his resume the next time he was looking for a job. Probably sooner than later at this rate.
âDonât go, should never drink alone. That just makes you a pathetic man and a potential alcoholic. If you get shit faced with a friend, youâre either a frat boy or someone having a good time. I suppose Iâm a former greek, and I could really have a good time after tonight.â
âIâm getting something stronger then. I could use it. Been drinking alone a lot of years, DiNozzo. Think Iâm pathetic? Used to wonder if you hero-worshipped me. Not any more, not since Mexico. You couldnât even look me in the eye when I came back. Now ya know the truth about me. Just a pathetic guy with a taste for bourbon. Or whatever takes the pain away. Long as it goes down okay, I donât care. Ya get to a point in life where you donât care. Ya just do your job best you can. The rest of it doesnât matter. Donât turn in to me, Tony. Get out while youâre still alive. Wish someone had told me that when I was your age.â
âIt wasnât hero worship, not in the traditional sense. I thought that I could be a more effective leader by becoming you. I found out I was barely a shell of the man you were when you were leading the team. Itâs harder than it looks, thatâs for sure. I was embarrassed because you caught me at the game. You beat me at the game, busting me in my pathetic attempt to be you.â He didnât believe that Gibbs was pathetic. He assumed that after everything the man had been through, he deserved to drink alone.
âYouâve got your boat, which has taken on a life of its own, boss. That means youâre not drinking alone. And Iâll take a double of what ever it is youâre drinking. If there was ever a night to get drunk, itâs tonight. Not often you beat a murder rap for the second time in your life.â
Jethro snorted at the boat comment. âYeah, the boat keeps me warm at night, Tony. It might keep my hands and mind busy, but thereâs something to be said about waking up beside a warm body, thrusting into wet heat, legs wrapped around your waist, kisses, moans, someone to make sure you eat and sleep when youâre focused on a case. Someone to listen when it gets to be too much. Someone who touches you. Have any idea how long its been since someone beside Abbs hugged me? Since I was with Hollis. Months ago.â
Jethro walked into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of bottles for them each. He knew they were going to regret this in the morning, but for now they needed it. He walked back, lining the bottles up before opening one. âCourvoisier X.O. Cognac. The stuff Benoit and Ducky drank. Couple hundred bucks a bottle, NCISâ dime. Think I can drink the entire thing?â He took a swallow, seeing it as a means to an end. âBrandy isnât my thing. Iâm not a sip and savor guy, but itâll do the job.â
âIâll help you out on killing that, especially if neither one of us is paying for it. We should invite Ducky over. He raved about the drink he had with the Frog. Smoothest thing he ever drank. Seems fitting that weâre toasting the end of that man, the one who almost ruined me not once, but twice.â
âDuckyâs on my shit list right now, DiNozzo. I donât care how much he liked La Grenouille. Youâre who matters.â Jethro leaned back, shoulder to shoulder with the younger man, and passed the bottle over. âYou wanna finish it, you can. Wonât obliterate me fast enough. Thatâs what weâre doing, right? Drinking until weâre numb. Instead of trying to find better ways of fixing it. Should call Abby. Sheâd be up for anything, even two bitter, drunk guys.â
âGo ahead; give her a call. Sheâll get drunk with us and tell us we both suck. But sheâd do it with a lot of panache so that we couldnât get mad at her.â
âItâd end up in bed, DiNozzo. Want to spend tonight with you. Weâll take tomorrow off; call her. Tonight Iâm not sharing you with anyone. Not even Abbs.â
âShe wonât be happy about that, boss. Sheâs big on sharing, although thatâs fine too. What she doesnât know wonât kill her.â
âTony, you have no idea.â Jethro let out a short laugh.
Tony looked at his boss, really looked and wanted to know more. They were flirting and leading towards something more it seemed. âExplain it to me, then. Make me understand.â
âNo. Think about it. Think hard, DiNozzo. Got too much to lose if I put it out there too soon.â
âGibbs, Iâm tired Iâm well on my way to being drunk and I donât want to think. I want something to be easy. If it canât be easy, I donât want to bother.â
âIt can be easy, but you gotta be sure. Too much to lose. Smallest response firms up your interest.â
âIâve lost too much as it is donât you think?â Tony was getting agitated, he didnât want to solve puzzles or be bothered. âWe talking Iâm on my way to losing my job? Losing everything thatâs near and dear to me?â
âJust the opposite. My career on the line. Youâre safe whatever you say or do. Donât like dancing around it, Tony, but Iâm not a young guy. If I lose everything, I have no way to live.â
Jethro dragged the conversation back to something a little less charged. âNever wanted a clone. Never sought you out to beâŠwhat is it? Mini me? That isnât you, DiNozzo. Weâre as different as two guys can be, but youâve come into your own as an agent and a leader. Best damn decision I made was bringing you on. I know when I go for good, the team is safe in your hands. Youâre enough maverick to get stuff done and charming enough to grease the wheels and disarm the black widow. You just need confidence.â
âYou know a pop culture reference. Iâm impressed, boss. I wouldnât have expected it of you. And it might not have been what you were seeking out, but itâs what the team expected. Abby needed someone like you to push her and McGee just wasnât the same if he wasnât terrified. Ziva even respected me. She didnât trust me to get her out of trouble, but she respected me.â
âStephanie and Abby watched that stupid movie a few times.â He leaned in, grasping DiNozzoâs wrist. âNobody needed you to act like me. Donât do it again. Be yourself, Tony.â
âTrust me, itâs harder being Gibbs then you let on. Wouldnât want to try. Burned up more energy then I had trying to be stealthy. But they did need it. They needed a seamless transition, and watching you leave it was the last thing I was thinking. But trust me, it was expected. Even Jen told me, that she expected the team to run the same under me as it did under you. Just a little pressure on someone who woke up that morning expecting it to be semi-normal.â
âI had to go. It was survival. My mind was gone, Tony. My memories had holes you could run an aircraft carrier through. And you guys expected this instant recovery, first time I ever felt pressure like that from you guys. You didnât mean it. I know that. Wasnât fair on any of us. Least of all those boys who got blown up.â
âIâm not blaming you. If it had been me, I would have done the same thing. I understood then that you needed to be anywhere but where you were. We all understood after thinking about it. But the girls, they still missed you. Timmy, he didnât quiver when I yelled like he did with you. All of us were a little lost, but we werenât going to hold it against you.â
âWerenât the only ones lost, Tony. Werenât the only ones lost at all. I was just as lost. I didnât know who I was.â
Jethro grabbed the bottle and took a couple of healthy swigs. âDonât become me, DiNozzo. Bitterness and loneliness doesnât suit you. I had a reason to become that way when I lost everything that mattered. You still have hope. Donât let Jeanne define you. Donât let anyone define you but yourself, Tony.â
âJeanne couldnât define me; she didnât know me. I donât know me anymore. Iâm going need to take some time and find me. Maybe a little time away from work would help. I could get in the car and just drive until I run out of gas and hope thereâs a half way decent motel in the area. Heading down south might be nice. Impromptu spring break trip--all the beer I can drink and women in bikinis. Not a bad option.â
âNo. Request for leave denied. Youâll brood. Youâll drink. You get tonight to do that, maybe the rest of the week, and then I need you back. Youâre a grown man, Tony. Iâm not letting you revert to that because its comfortable to you. Not after what I saw today.â
Where was that damn bottle? DiNozzo was driving him to drink.
Without really meaning to, he stood up and loomed over Tony a little unsteadily. âStop hiding, DiNozzo. Donât hide from me. Keep telling you; you donât want to be like me. Take my damn advice. Listen to me, will ya. Iâm here for ya. Iâm here.â
His hand went to Tonyâs hair and he ran a hand over it softly instead of cuffing him. All that crap he put in it should have made it sticky, but instead it was soft and silky, trailing through his fingers. âPretty damn lonely, my life. Just trying to stop you from going down the same road. Youâve got a big heart there. Donât close down. Donât let the bastards win.â
âGreat advice from a man who admits that he had done exactly what heâs telling me not to do. Sorry if Iâm having a hard time buying into what youâre saying.â He needed to do something, go somewhere, even if it was just for the day. He hadnât felt this way since Kate had died, and he had almost left NCIS then. Another case, another crushing blow and he was again considering if this was what he should be doing with his life.
âI donât do this with anyone, DiNozzo. I donât care like this about anyone beside Abby. I donât put it out there like that. Like you were a brother or a son. Take the advice or not, you want to turn into me, do it. You want to be alone, do it. You want to play the pity card, do it. But someday realize that someone cared enough to tell you things nobody else knows to try to save you from yourself.â
âYou know, I could go groveling back to my father, tell him Iâll take the position he created for me when I graduated from college. I would get paid just to go sit in the office and be a DiNozzo, thereâs a lot to be said for that, you know. Get myself a trophy wife, who wouldnât expect anything from me but to let her continue her life the way it was before I married her. Weâd have to spawn at some point, but I like kids as long as someone else is there to care for them. It would be a dream life, at least for some people. I could probably even do it. Iâve done my duty, maybe itâs time for me to settle down, start drinking too much and not exercising enough. Iâm old enough to become my father now.â
âYou want to go back to the guy who didnât give a shit while you lay dying? You want to sabotage yourself and NCIS that much? Youâd take away the best damn investigator and undercover operative Iâve ever worked with or seen, to be some fat, soft executive to please someone who doesnât deserve you? Who never deserved a kid like you. Your biggest accomplishment is being so much better than him, Tony. Maybe someday youâll see that, before itâs too late.â
Jethro was still holding the younger manâs skull and he let go, moving a couple of feet away. âYou gotta bury the hurt little boy who needs Dadâs approval. Itâs the only way you can move on, DiNozzo. The only way youâll ever be happy. Call him up, tell him he doesnât matter, and move on. Live for you. Go for what you want, not whatâll help you make do. You only go around once. You and me, weâve been close to the edge. More than once. Lately more than once a year.â
Jethro looked at the bottle he was holding. âShould take my own damn advice. Stop hiding. Grab life by the balls for a change. Go for it and try, even if I lose everything.â He looked at the bottle again, suddenly tired of it all. âJust sick and tired of being alone, Tony. Donât want you where I am. Too good for that. Youâre too smart, too talented. Youâre needed. And wanted. I need youâŠâ
âOn my team.â Cop out, he knew it. But he had too much on the line right now.
âWouldnât do it, boss. Just nice to know that I could.â Tony ducked his head, not able to look Gibbs in the eye. âAny other day of the year, I enjoy my job too much to turn my back on it and go play desk jockey. If I wanted that, I would have taken it out of college and had my student loans paid off right away. I enjoy what I do; I just need to have a little pity party tonight. Wouldnât really do it, even if it would be the easy way to go.â
âDrink then. The expensive stuff. Ya earned it. And look at me, dammit. Iâm telling you things nobody knows. Nobody. Not Abby. Nobody. Because you got someone here fighting for you. Okay? Stop hiding from me, DiNozzo. Makes me think youâre embarrassed to be drinking with me.â Jethro closed Tonyâs hand around the bottle.
âIâm not embarrassed and Iâm not hiding. Itâs just Iâm not used to you sharing. Abby will drag things out of me, but I donât willingly share with her. Iâm trying here; I just need another drink or three before Iâm comfortable spilling my heart out.â
âI should be the one embarrassed. You got nothing to be embarrassed about, Tony.â Jethroâs hand went back into the younger manâs hair, stroking slowly as he sank back beside Tony, leg against leg, arm resting on the other manâs shoulder.
âWant to know what Iâm thinking right now?â He didnât wait for an answer, just leaned over to snag the bottle, taking another long gulp, angling his body in to Tonyâs. âIâm thinking I donât want to be alone tonight. Not talking about drinking, either. Not dancing around it, Tony. I want you in that bedroom. Wherever it goes, I want you in that bed.â
Jethro stood unsteadily and walked toward the bedroom. âYour choice now. Wonât think any differently if you donât want it. Wonât ever mention it again. You decide.â
End Notes:
This story was born in the waning moments of the episode. A couple of lines
from a favorite song started running through my head, specifically "Standing alone in
solitude, holding your head in your hands. Tears play like rain on your fingertips. Who but
yourself is to blame?" (Asia, The Last To Know, 1983). I started writing, shipped it off to
Ange and a baby fic was born. We hope you like our purty li'l darlin' as much as we do!
Disclaimer: Not ours, sadly. But we love playing with them!
Special thanks to our beta goddess, Anna! We couldn;t have done this without her
excellent suggestions and guidance. And the new plot bunneh ;)
Chapter 2 by silverfoxfiles
Author's Notes:
After the events of Internal Affairs, someone will be there for Tony. Will he let anyone in?
Chapter Two
âWeâve been dancing around this since I got here, Boss. Itâs been a fun flirtation, but I wasnât going to make a move unless you did. Itâs been a bad enough day without being brought up on charges of sexual harassment.â Tony pushed up off the couch and grabbed Gibbs before he could get too far. âI need to forget, and the liquor alone isnât going to do it. Make me forget, Gibbs.â
âWhat did you want me to do, Tony? I was letting you know, glad to see it was just foreplay instead of you being stubborn. Making a move. I touch how many guys like I touched you tonight.â He took a breath and tried to focus through the haze of alcohol. âAnd you ainât seen nothing yet. Gonna make you forget your name, gonna make you scream yourself hoarse. You a screamer, DiNozzo? And a talker in bed?. Abbs never shut up. You know we were both dreaming about fucking you, right? Wasnât just her doing it.â
Jethro grabbed Tony by the shirt and pinned him against the wall, bodies touching but barely, Tonyâs pulse fluttering wildly in his throat. âYou scared or excited, DiNozzo?â
âYou donât scare me, Gibbs. I know you wonât hurt me. Iâve trusted you with my life since I followed you home from Baltimore.â There werenât many people in the world that Tony could say hadnât hurt him. Sure, Gibbs had left, giving him the chance to spread his wings and fly, but he hadnât intentionally hurt him. âI wonât lie and say Iâm not excited. My body is going to give me away if I did. Never thought Iâd be in this position, never thought Iâd have a chance.â
âYou wanted a chance, DiNozzo? I never knew. And I looked. I watched you in the showers, hoping youâd check me out, hoping youâd want not only a guy, but an old guy. I smacked you just to be able to touch you, Tony. How long? How long did you want me? Because I tried to fuck you out of my psyche for a couple years now. Never worked.â
âFirst time I looked up and saw the bluest eyes ever looking back at me across that crime scene in Baltimore. Yeah, I would have taken you to bed that night, but you were a Fed and I was trying to protect my case. Then weâre done and I planned on asking you back to my place before you headed home. But you asked me to join your team. Cut me off at the dick, so I followed you to DC, and have been lusting after you since.â
âDo you realize how much time we lost, Tony? No more. Until we figure this out, weâre not dating or sleeping with anyone else. That okay with you?â He wanted to declare his ownership, but believed that Tony didnât need that right now.
âI havenât been dating anyone anyway, so yeah Iâm okay with that.â For all intents and purposes, Tony was okay with that. It seemed sudden, but it was exactly what he wanted right this moment.
âI didnât mean that like it sounded boss, like this is convenient so Iâm agreeing to your terms.â He shook his head, wishing he could think and speak more clearly instead of sounding like a business negotiation or cheap pickup lines. âIâd like that; I want to see what is between us.â
Jethro just watched Tony. âI know what you mean, Tony. I know⊠Just us, just you and me, figuring this out together. You have any personal time coming to you?â
âAfter this latest assignation attempt on my good name, Iâm willing to bet that Madame Director will give me time off. I could have taken some after the undercover assignment blew up, excuse the pun, but I didnât then either. I think I deserve it this time.â
âWeâll call her in the morning. Iâm taking rest of the week off to be with you. Yeah, you deserve some time off. You took one for the team. Now youâre going to take one for the boss. I guarantee thisâll be a hell of a lot more pleasant.â
Tony watched Gibbsâ face and the expressions that played across it. He looked sexy, challenging, Tony loved it. âTaking it for me, but with you will be nice. Weâve both worked too hard, and you just saved my ass once again. You deserve a vacation and some pampering for that alone. If I can get back to my apartment, I have some products there that will help me relax you. Iâll make it worth your while.â
âSounds like youâre gonna slap makeup on me or something?â Jethro said with a snicker. âYou forget that Iâm taking care of you, DiNozzo. Put yourself in my hands.â
âNo makeup tonight, or anytime soon. When I say products Iâm talking herbal massage lotions that help relax you, and donât leave you feeling like you rolled around in baby oil all night.â He wanted nothing more than to put himself completely in Gibbsâ hands, but wanted to give as well as he got also. Tony grinned, an image becoming clear in his mind. âYou would look hot in makeup though, a little eye liner to highlight what I think is one of your better attributes. Abby could do that for you, and make it barely noticeable.â
âYou trying to goad me into a power fuck, DiNozzo? No. Not happening. You can be the girly one in this relationship, DiNozzo.â There he was thinking and considering this was more than one night. He didnât do this, and never with a guy. He was a fuck âem and leave âem guy, when it came down to guys anyway. But there was something drawing him toward a longer relationship with Tony.
âGive me an evening, and I can change that opinion. You just donât know what youâre missing. I donât see you pampering yourself very often. In the Corps, I bet they didnât even let you use hot water in the shower.â
âTonyâŠgive it up. Really.â Jethro reached out to gently cuff DiNozzo. Youâre not going to make me one of those guys who prisses.â
âGive me twenty-four hours. I bet I can make you into anything I want.â Tony winked, hoping that the growing need he was feeling could be heard in his voice. âJust you wait and see; I can be very persuasive.â
âWeâll see, DiNozzo,â Jethro challenged gently.
He brought his hand up, touching the flesh over Tonyâs jugular. âTexture, Tony. Soft skin, rougher just under the surface.â Jethro leaned in and nipped Tony on the pulse point, his other hand releasing Tonyâs shirt and stroking his hair again.
âYour hair is so soft. Thought itâd be more sticky with that crap you use in it.â He pulled back, eyes half closed. âTell me exactly what you want and where you want me to begin. Itâs about you tonight.â
âI realize you all think Iâm high maintenance, but Iâm not. Not really. Sometimes, If Iâm going all out, Iâll throw some gel in my hair, but a lot of times itâs a little shampoo. Guess Iâm just a natural pretty boy.â
âToo damn pretty.â Jethro stopped for a breath, trying not to growl his words. âMasculine and pretty, hell of a combination. Tall, great looking, but something vulnerable in your eyes. Something that makes me want to go to the mat for you over and over again. Would have given my career and my pension to have the truth come out, Tony. Without a doubt or question.â
Jethro leaned in, licking along Tonyâs throat, chuckling when the other man swallowed convulsively.
Tony shivered, trying to bring the conversation to a little less charged place. âIt helps that I have a great ass too, right boss? I mean, if youâre going to have a pretty boy, you want him to be toned in the right places. All that talk about hard and soft and I can promise you, you donât get too many asses better than mine.â
âThatâs way down on my list, Tony. I want to know how you kiss. What your cum tastes like. If you talk the entire time Iâm pounding you or if I can make ya speechless. I know youâre gonna have a tight ass. Iâve got eyes.â
Jethroâs thumb came over to trace Tonyâs cheekbone. âHave to get my fill of touching you before you blow my head off.â
âI thought that I was the one who was going to get my fill, not you.â Tony fell into an easy sexually charged banter, it was natural to him. âYou want me to talk, I talk. You want me quiet; I can probably do that too. At least not talking. I got a feeling there will be lots of moaning going on.â
âIf Iâm as good as they tell me,â Jethro retorted.
What Tony wanted was hot, mindless sex with no strings or promises. What he needed was someone who understood him and wouldnât push him harder than he could handle tonight. He was always the one who made sure his partner was taken care of, and he wanted to be the one who was taken care of.
Unbuttoning his shirt, Tony shrugged it off quickly. âI want skin on skin. I need to feel you and I need to be totally engulfed by you. I need you in me and around me and to totally take over tonight. I need to totally put my body in your hands, and know that you will take care of me. Can I do that?â
Pulling the younger man closer, Jethro ran a hand gently over Tonyâs spine, circling each bump slowly. Then Jethro took Tonyâs shirt and put it back on him. âWhatever you need.â He smoothed down the fabric gently. âTrust me to take care of you. Get into my bed, Tony, but let me be the one to unwrap my package.â Jethro took Tonyâs hand and led him into the room.
âI made that bed, Tony, selected every piece of wood, sanded and shellacked it. You and meâ" weâre going to dirty it up. Canât think of anyone I want more in my bed. Not sharing you tonight, maybe not ever.â
Jethro was torn between taking Tony with the pent-up passion and desire humming in his veins and taking Tony slowly. There was something in Tonyâs eyes that begged to be protected.
âAh, Tony. Come here.â Jethro pulled Tony into his arms, holding him close. âYou donât need to hide anything from me.â He leaned in, closing his eyes, kissing Tony gently, opening his mouth by small increments. Even though he wanted to devour Tonyâs mouth, Jethro fought his own instincts, keeping the kiss romantic rather than needy. If Tony wanted more, Jethro was sure heâd let him know.
âYouâve got layers boss, ones that you donât let out at work. I mean, weâve all seen hardnosed bastard Gibbs, and I made a joke, why arenât you laughing Gibbs. Those are trademarked terms, just so you know. Kind of like Malibu Barbie in a sense, without the doll. But Iâve never seen sensitive and sincere Gibbs.â
Tony leaned down just enough to be able to turn his head into Gibbs neck. Even though he was taller, he still felt safe being held. âI could get used to this, Iâve never had anyone hold me and make me feel safe like this.â
âYou ever been with an older guy? Weâve taken the edge off and when itâs with someone you really want, it isnât just about getting off. Yeah, I want you, but I want to take care of you too. Someoneâs got to, you got fucked today. Not gonna fuck you tonight. We have time. If Iâm inside you tonight, itâll be about the journey and not just the end.â
Jethro rubbed Tonyâs back, the shirt moving over the muscles. âGonna get seduced, Tony. Gonna see what itâs like to be mine.â
âNever been with an older guy, and Iâm looking forward to giving it a ride. And I can handle being seduced. I donât want to rush this; Iâm done with rushing. I enjoy having you along for this journey, I canât imagine doing this with anyone else.â
âYou can never get back the first time. No need to rush. Weâve got all night, maybe even tomorrow too. Just relax, Tony. Put yourself completely in my hands.â
âI canât think of better hands to place myself in. I trust you completely.â
Jethro led Tony to the bed and removed the younger manâs shirt himself, palms skimming over Tonyâs nipples and fingertips gripping deeply into the tense muscles of the other manâs shoulders. Tony needed a massage.
When Tony didnât immediately melt into him, Jethro wrapped an arm tight and low on Tonyâs back, pulling them hard cock to hard cock, Tonyâs heat evident through the fabric of their pants.
Jethro moved his hand down to the split of Tonyâs ass cheeks, and pressed in lightly, fingertip teasing Tonyâs ass through his pants for only a moment before unbuckling them and tugging them down. Now, only the material of the boxers separated Tonyâs ass from Jethroâs fingers and he pressed inward, teasing Tonyâs hole, scraping his fingertip along Tonyâs flesh.
âHowâs that feel, Tony? If you move forward, your cock and mine are gonna rub together. If you move back, my finger will tease your ass.â
âGod Gibbs, what a choice either way.â Pushing back, Tony relaxed against the probing finger. It had been a while since any one had paid any attention to that area of his body, and even though he knew this was just the first course of the meal, he was ready for the main course. âAlways admired your hands, Boss. Large and so strong, and those calluses from working on the boat all these years, theyâre sexy. Pretty much matching the rest of you.â
âFlirt,â Jethro teased lightly, pulling back only enough to yank his own pants down. With a few tugs, his shirt, pants, boxers, shoes, and socks were off. He looked Tony up and down, smirking faintly. âLook at you, Tony. Just look at you.â
âIâll let you look at me. I know what I look like, but I donât think that I am even close to seeing what you do. Iâm much more interested in looking at you.â
âNothinâ special about me, Tony.â But Jethro stepped back a pace for the moment, letting the younger man look his fill. He knew he was in damn good shape for his age, but there was no way he could compete with the type of guys who would go for Tony.
âSays you, I see a lot of special about you. And not just how hot you are.â There was no denying that Jethro Gibbs was still a damn fine looking man. But he was a good man too, someone who would look out for him, and who had his six. There hadnât been any expectations that something like this would happen; he genuinely wanted to help âYouâre a good guy, under the bastard exterior. Someone who, I know, will always have my best interest at heart.â
âKeep that between us, will ya. I have a reputation to uphold.â Jethro wouldnât argue even though he didnât see it.
âI wouldnât go spreading it around, first off no one would believe me. Second, I donât want Ziva or McGee to think theyâre special enough to get this kind of treatment.â
Jethro chuckled low. âYou are. And maybe Abby if you want to give that a whirl sometime. But Iâve never shared really well and wonât beyond that. And until we decide not to be so, youâre mine, Tony.â
âI might want to do that, bring in Abby as long as sheâs cool with it. That would be important.â Heâd never push Abby into doing something she didnât want. But he thought she might be more than a little interested especially because sheâd already been with Gibbs and had always been open with the fact that she was interested. âAnd Iâve been yours since you saved me from being a street cop in Baltimore. Just never thought it would land me in your bed.â
âWell, it did. We gonna talk this or fuck this to death, DiNozzo?â
âA little impatient boss? Not too long ago, you wanted me to spill my guts, now you just want me for my body.â
âYou talk too much. What do I have to do to shut you up?â
Jethro stepped closer, skin-to-skin except for the boxers between them. He ran his hands up and down Tonyâs back before kissing him deeply, increasing the passion between them and guiding Tony toward the bed.
âYouâre damn lucky thereâs lube here. You clean, Tony? I donât have any condoms, donât need âem for my hand. You have any?â
âMight have one in my wallet, but Iâm clean, Gibbs. Up to you, I can wait if you want to get redressed and run to the store.â Tony wouldnât make that decision for anyone. He would be fine either way. But he knew that he trusted Gibbs and hoped he felt the same way. âIf you do, pick up several packs. I donât want to leave again if I donât have to. Food can be delivered, but I donât know anyone who will do that with condoms.â
âNot going anywhere. Youâre clean, Iâm clean, no barriers between me and you. Want to feel you clenching around me. Bet youâve got a tight, hot ass, Tony.â He eased Tony onto the bed so the other man was sitting up, feet on the floor, and stood in front of him, legs slightly apart. âFive minutes to do whatever you want with me. Starting now.â
This would be a lesson in Tonyâs own erogenous zones and Jethro wanted to learn. He hoped Tony knew how much he trusted him, or he would never have given the younger man carte blanche over him. In other guys it could lead to CBT or bondage whether he wanted it or not, but he trusted DiNozzo. More than heâd trusted any loverâ"even Abby.
âSeriously?â Tony asked, but didnât waste any time waiting for an answer. He ghosted over the other manâs chest, stopping to feel how fast his heart was beating. Tony needed to feel, and Gibbs was solid and warm underneath his touch. Massaging random spots, he avoided the hard cock that would be so easy to lose himself in, choosing instead to tease random patches of warm flesh. âI take it back, a large chunk of this might just be about how hot you are. The rest is good, but your body is the ultimate.â
âIf youâre good you can have ten minutes total.â He looked like a kid whoâd just unwrapped a present. âThis is about giving you what ya need, DiNozzo. You explore, you show me what you need.â
âYouâre giving me exactly what I need boss. I needed someone to listen to me bitch and moan about what happened, then to make me forget it. Youâve done that, canât even remember what I was so upset about.â
âGood. Then you keep on exploring.â Jethro couldnât resist touching Tonyâ" rubbing a shoulder, brushing his hand over a bicep, resting his hand on Tonyâs thigh.
âSee, youâre catching on. We know one another, but not this way. I need to know your body too, before going any further.â
âWell, itâs telling ya all you ever wanna know.â He was overly sensitized to Tonyâs hands, the blunt fingertips and rough texture giving way to softness. His hand went back to Tonyâs throat, the soft hairless skin where stubble ended and chest hair didnât quite begin yet.
âAnd for the first time Iâm paying full attention to what youâre saying. Donât get used to it, Iâll go back to my normal self once Iâm back at the office.â
Tony was stroking him in unexpected places, a flank, the inside of a wrist, his throat, the outside of a leg. âYa know, DiNozzo, this was supposed to be about me learning what you like. You outsmarted me yet again. Thought sure youâd be jacking me off by now. Or have that mouth wrapped around me. Must be going soft in my old age.â
âYou gave me time; I wanted to work up an appetite before moving onto a main course.â Settling his palm on Gibbsâ cock for a moment before slowly jacking him, Tony admired the thickness and heat. âYouâre nowhere near soft and you know it. For an old guy, who shouldnât be able to get this hard, Iâm impressed. Just want to make sure that you stay this way until youâre inside me.â
Jethro thrust into Tonyâs hand. âNice. Nice tight fist, good grip. Shooterâs grip. And whyâŠshouldnât I be able to get this hard. Sexuality doesnât die at age forty, youâll see. And Iâve got staying power to spare.â
Jethro let out a low groan. âSeeâŠwhat I meant about hands. YoursâŠmuch better than mine.â
âRemember that the next time weâre in your office, that my hands feel better than yours, that a couple of minutes alone can go a long way.â
Jethro growled, hardening even further. âYou kinky little shit.â He was impressed. âRemember that Abby can disable cameras and audio anywhere you want me. She will, however, want to watch. Never done it in the office before.â He looked down at his cock in Tonyâs hands. âBut I want to with you. God, TonyâŠâ
He pulled away just slightly, warming up to the fantasy and keeping himself on edge. âI want you to suck me off in the menâs room. I want to bend you over my desk at midnight. I want your groans to echo all over MTAC. I want to fuck that mouth and have you back at your desk, dazed and with swollen lips. Hell, Tony, I just want you.â
He stroked a hand down Tonyâs face, thumb running over a cheekbone. âI donât know if I can wait those ten minutes, Tony. You canât know how long I waited for you. I just want to consume you.â
âIâm not stopping you, youâre the one who gave me play time. I wouldnât mind giving up some of that time for later. I think weâve got time to spare.â
âI stick by my promises, even if they kill me. And I like watching you playing with me. Your hands on me, the look of wonder, as if you thought I was out of shape. The wayâŠthe way you seem to know all my hottest spots likeâŠ.â Tony flicked the underside of his cock head.
âLike that one.â Jethro brought his hand over to cover Tonyâs. âJustâŠjust do that. Drives me crazy almost as good as someone playing with my prostate.â
âItâs nice to know whatâs going to drive you crazy. I like the power that this brings with it. I can make you scream or make you shiver. Thatâs the ultimate, and you are letting me have it. Means a lot to me, Boss. Itâs nice to know you trust me that much.â
Jethro groaned and spread his legs slowly, shifting his weight and widening his stance. His balls hung heavy and low and if Tony wanted to, he could tease Jethroâs asshole or even finger fuck him. âThis is how much I trust you. Full access. Whatever you want. Never wanted anybody to get that close. Never needed anyone like that.â
End Notes:
Special thanks to our beta goddess, Anna! To say she rocks is a gross understatement!
We're so not worthy! Candy-covered Gibbs and DiNozzos for her!
Last to Know Ch 3 by silverfoxfiles
Chapter 3
Tony slowly moved his hands closer and closer to Gibbsâ ass, and then teasingly pulled them away. He hadnât expected such an offer, and had every intention of taking advantage of it, but wanted it to be on his terms. Each motion put him closer to the promised land. âIâm going to have to get your work out regime, Boss. A man your age shouldnât have such a tight ass. You need to wear tighter pants, show it off a little. Would drive me crazy, but worth it to be able to see this every day.â
Jethro had rarely felt more vulnerable but he was charged up at the same time, Tonyâs teasing and his resistance to it hardening him further. âYou like?â Jethro asked roughly. Heâd never been good with sex talk itself, the build up being his forte.
But DiNozzo wore his lust and desire on his sleeve. And he was doing things to Jethroâs psyche he didnât want to even examine. He was laying himself open to another person. Again. Hoping that this one wouldnât destroy him like the wives did. But DiNozzo was different. Stubble. Cock. Brown hair, sincerity shining in his eyes. Jethro wanted to protect and defend him.
âYeah, I like it a lot.â Giving a light slap, Tony smiled to see the muscles tighten. âPretty sure I could bounce a quarter off of it. And itâs so responsive.â âI want to be on very intimate terms with your ass, quarter bouncing aside. So nice and tight, I think that youâre in need of an ass massage, to relax just it for a little bit. I promise, anything Iâm doing back here youâll like.â Rubbing the reddening skin, Tony swore heâd never do anything to hurt this man.
âTold ya you have ten minutes, maybe more if youâŠâ He trailed off. The intensity of this didnât diminish the alcohol heâd absorbed and for now he was willing and eager to surrender to the haze that drinking had brought and this man was feeding. âDo what you wantâŠâ
âOh, I have been. Trust me, there isnât a moment of this I havenât enjoyed. Knowing how I can make you shiver with just the slightest flick of my wrist.â Demonstrating, Tony ran a finger over Gibbsâ ass crack, lightly brushing over his hole. âYouâre so damn responsive. Itâs a great feeling knowing what I can do to you.â
Jethro had to fight every instinct, so as to not force the issue, literally. He was laid open in a way heâd never expected to be. This was supposed to be about seducing Tony and healing him, not some strange misguided need for what he wanted. But he was going for it, it felt too damn good for him to ruin with logic. Or to deal with his vulnerability in this position.
âPower, control, lust, All go hand in hand sometimes. Rarely as well as they are here.â
âBut that isnât what weâre here for tonight, is it? Iâm supposed to be forgetting the horrible things that happened today. Power, control, murder⊠The fact that at the drop of the hat I can be charged with a murder that it never even crossed my mind to commit.â
âWeâre here becauseâŠâ Because why, Jethro wondered? âBecause we need each other. Because weâre letting each other, DiNozzo.â
Tony stopped Gibbs, needing to get a better control on his emotions. Apparently the booze heâd consumed was wearing off. âJust forget I said that, itâs not important right now. Iâve got a lifetime to deal with the feelings of today, but only another six minutes of you spread out for me like this.â
âRaincheck.â Jethro pulled Tony tight against him and eased him back onto the bed, yanking covers back. âIndulge me,â he whispered into Tonyâs hair, wrapping him first in the sheet and then in his arms. Heâd looked so damn lost there, awakening every protective instinct in Jethro.
âGet through this, Tony. Right here with me. Yell, hit me, whatever you have to do. Weâre not going to be doing this because of rage. Weâre going to take each other in passion, not hurt, not anger. I want to see lust in your eyes.â
âI donât know what youâre seeing in my eyes, but I can assure you there is lust there. Iâm not going to hit you or act out. Youâre not the one who deserves that. Now, if I run into your buddy Fornell in a dark alley, you can bet Iâm going to act out. But I wonât take out something that stupid against you. Just hold me, make the rest of the night okay for me.â He pressed closer, feeling the weight of the day crashing on his shoulders.
âIâll hold him down for ya, DiNozzo.â Jethro brushed Tonyâs hair back and pulled him snugly against him. âYou smell of booze and desire. Drank too much, bet you havenât eaten. Sleep. Then weâll get a pizza or something. Then weâll fuck. No hurry.â
âPizza? Wow, you know a way to a guyâs heart. Get me drunk, feed me, then fuck me. Sounds like one of my better dates. Iâll keep you around for a while.â Tony relaxed against Gibbs, breathing in the heady scent of him. âAnd I donât have to beat you off if Iâm not interested. I am interested, but I swear, someone put out the sex machine rumor again. Almost have to beat some of them off. Apparently no only means no if youâre a female anymore. Not that Iâm saying no. Just maybe dinner would be good. Donât want to be so shit faced I donât remember what went on in the morning.â
âDinner, whatever you want to eat, Tony. Just thought pizza was one of your four food groups. We can get steak or burgers or pasta or Chinese. Not important. Just close your eyes and know Iâm right here.â
Jethro could feel Tonyâs tension melting away and he brushed his lips over the other manâs temple. âSleep. You can talk when you wake up. The world can benefit from a little silence.â
And he could benefit from having Tony so close, to banish the loneliness, at least for this one night.
âI donât want to sleep.â Tony knew he was pouting, but it seemed to be a good time to bring that out. âPizzaâs fine, or whatever you want. But it doesnât have to be now. I want to lay here with you. I donât want to sleep, I donât want to watch TV or listen to music. Canât we just be here for a little bit? Donât even have to talk if you really donât want to. But I want to be near you.â
He should have been annoyed and frustrated, but he was strangely understanding. DiNozzo was all over the place and this wouldnât happen until they were both sobered up. âTony, we can do whatever you want. None of this is a challenge. Iâm here for you.â He propped up on one elbow, looming over and looking down at the younger man and analyzing the play of emotions over his face.
âWe can be here, Tony. Iâm not leaving. Trust me.â After yanking the sheet off the other man, he ran his thumb over Tonyâs cheek and lower lip, drawing patterns on the other manâs shoulder. âTrust me.â
âOh, that feels nice. You can keep doing that.â Tonyâs eyes drifted shut, even though he had no intention of falling asleep. Just felt so nice to have someone touching him. âI trust you, Gibbs. Love what youâre doing, just afraid of being alone.â
âYouâre not alone and you wonât be alone.â Jethro had to keep touching and stroking the other manâs body, smoothing the soft skin over the tense muscles. âJust relax, Tony. Youâre here with me.â
In the absence of a full massage, he stroked his fingertips over Tonyâs body, touching and exploring, examining the different textures of skin, muscle, hair. He started massaging DiNozzoâs scalp, hands running through the thick hair.
Even though he wanted the other man to sleep, he couldnât resist sliding over him, body to body, crotch to crotch, heavy cock against heavy cock. Jethro planted his legs on either side of DiNozzo and settled himself right over Tonyâs groin.
The other man fought to rear up, but Jethro pinned him down with a gentle hand to the chest. âRelaxation, not fucking, Tony. Just relax.â
âFucking can be relaxing.â And while his body might be willing, the energy level wasnât there. âJust keep touching, Iâll forget everything beyond that. Youâve got great hands, got to be from working on the boat. Strong, but your touch is light almost gentle. Could make a person who doesnât want to sleep consider a nap.â
âYou do whatever makes you happy.â Jethro leaned in and nipped Tonyâs throat then soothed the skin with a fingertip. âDo you feel safe and secure like this or want to lie on our sides? I donât want to crush you, DiNozzo.â
"Like you right here. Totally surrounded by you, which makes me feel better. You couldn't crush me; I'm pretty solid. Might be falling apart on the inside, but the outside isn't going to crush easy." Tony was totally relaxed, maybe it was Gibbs, not sure he'd feel that way with someone else. But he felt damn good right now, and was going to focus on that and nothing else. "Don't move on my account."
âNot planning on it. Long as you can take my weight, Iâm here, my boy.â The endearment slipped out. He wasnât that kind of guy, but it felt right.
Jethro moved his hands to Tonyâs shoulders, working the muscles in deep penetrating strokes. âJust relax. Youâre here with me, Tony. Youâre mine. Sounds good, you being mine. Sounds like weâve been fighting something here that we both needed.â
Jethro lowered his head, resting his mouth just above Tonyâs jugular. âMine,â he said in a low voice, just loud enough that he knew the vibrations were penetrating DiNozzoâs flesh.
âGot that, DiNozzo? Mine. Mine for tonight, maybe even mine âtil I tire of you. And I donât tire easilyâ
"I can't wait to test that theory out, Boss. I think that is one challenge I'm going to enjoy trying to win. Don't really see how there could be any losers in that."
âDoesnât have to be a challenge. Youâre allowed to be my equal in bed, Tony. In fact, tell me what you want me to do and Iâll do it. Short of fucking, that is. We do that completely stone cold sober. But as for whatever you want, Iâm here to fulfill every need. Enjoy it, Tony. When youâre on hands and knees and Iâm buried inside, itâll be all about me.â
"I'll be enjoying that too, Boss. Looking forward to that, although not really excited about sobering up any time real soon." But the promise of sex, made it almost worth taking that nap and starting tomorrow fresh. "And what makes you think I'll be the only one in that position. I'm an equal opportunity lover, but I expect to give as much as I take."
âYou have to earn that entry, DiNozzo. Be a really good boy and Iâll let ya go there.â He brushed Tonyâs hair back. âBut it wonât be in that position. Tricky knee.â Jethro winked, knowing he was in damn good shape. âYou donât call me boss in bed, Tony. My lovers are equals, not subordinates.â
He lowered his head to the pillow, nuzzling into Tony. âYeah, this is nice.â
"I promise I can be a good boy, and you have no idea just how good I can be." Tony ground up against Gibbs, needing more friction. "You tell me how you need it, and I'll do all the work. Can't have you falling apart on me, not when you've promised me all of this pleasure."
He had always thought of Gibbs as boss, even when they had been working the Baltimore case, before he joined NCIS. Thinking of him as Leroy just wouldn't work and only the director and Ducky called him Jethro and lived to tell about it. And just calling him Gibbs was like being at work, which made him the subordinate. "I suppose I could call you Jet or J. or something along those lines. It's not like your name is easy to make into a cute nickname. And I'm not really sure I can see you as a sweetheart or baby."
âMake up a name then. Iâm not fussy, Tony. And I donât do cute.â Jethro moved off Tony and grabbed a bottle of lube, slicking up a hand and leaning down, ringing each of them in turn. âHowâs that, Tony. More along the lines of what you want? What you need?â
He moved over Tony, just enough to rub his cock over Tonyâs. âThis is gonna lead to drunken sex, you know that, right? Drunken good sex, me deep inside you. You want that for your first time with me, Tony. Or you just wanna be like this for a while.â
But Jethro knew it wasnât enough for either of them. âTonyâŠgonna ask this as seriously as I can. Will you let me inside?â
"After everything that's happened tonight, you think I'm going to tell you no? Seriously babe, I'm drunk but I'm not completely out of it." Tony could appreciate that Gibbs was giving him a choice, but he was primed for whatever he could get. "I'm as hard as I ever been, and if you want in, you're more than welcome. Just don't make me wait. Don't wanna wait anymore."
âBabe?â Jethro smirked. Heâd allow it for now. Knowing Tony was as ready for it as he was made him even harder. Jethro reached for the lube and slicked up one finger before pressing it against Tonyâs anus. He shifted his body lower and to the side, head on Tonyâs stomach, opening up the younger man with an endless stroke, his blunt fingertip parting the hot flesh there.
âBeen a while, huh?â Jethro began teasing the area behind Tonyâs balls, tickling the ridge of flesh that led from balls to anus and lowered his head to breathe in the scent of Tonyâs body, the slight tang of sweat and heavier musk making his head reel.
"Even longer than a while, but still feels damn good." No man had caught Tony's eye, not since leaving college for the real world. If he'd even let on that it was something that interested him, and one of the guys from the force had ever found out, he would have been run out of town quicker then he'd managed to leave. "You don't like babe? It's not cute, not really."
âItâs okay. Not complaining.â Any words he could have formed were lost in the scent and feel of DiNozzo. âKeep on topic here, DiNozzo. Howâs that feel? Like my finger up you?â
âFeels great, would like a lot more up me, but I got a look at you. Going to need to make sure that we use lots of lube.â Tony wiggled and was trying hard not to push against the fingers. He so badly wanted deeper penetration, but wouldnât beg for it.
âIn time, DiNozzo. Ripping you apart wonât make us cum.â Jethro enjoyed purely masculine satisfaction at Tonyâs assessment of him. âGlad ya like what ya see.â
âSeriously, you think I wouldnât like? Have you looked in the mirror lately, Gibbs? Abby calls you sex on a stick. Or really Silver Fox on a stick, which is the same thing, just without the bestiality.â
Jethro chuckled. What else could he do? Tony was just drunk enough to be endearing and just drunk enough to ramble. âSee your point,â he allowed before getting back to the business at hand, or the business wrapped around his finger.
He moved his finger in slow strokes deep, pressing against Tonyâs prostate before almost withdrawing. After only a minute or so, he added a second finger, twisting them, scissoring them to force Tony to open further.
âWant me to suck your cock, babe?â Jethro increased the pace of his thrusts in and out. âThe sooner you relax, the sooner I can bury myself inside.â
"Trust me Jethro, I'm about as relaxed as possible. You're doing things to my body that haven't been done in so long, that I can't just let my body go." It wasn't that he was tense, just his body knew what was coming, and was quivering with anticipation. "I'd love it if you blew me, but I'm holding on by a thread here. Not sure I could take that."
âNever said it was over once you blow, Tony. Iâm the bastard and itâs about me, remember?â
Jethro leaned down, swiping his tongue just under Tonyâs cock head, teasing the area where head met shaft with the tip of his tongue. It was his favorite place to explore and he knew from experience that the slight pressure was enough to drive even the most controlled man crazy and DiNozzo was anything but.
âLike this? Am I doing it right?â Jethro could pretend to be a little innocent, even though he was anything but. He moved up between Tonyâs legs now, tongue running over Tonyâs cock head now, tracing the flared tip in slow swipes. âAnd this?â he asked, knowing the vibrations were going right to Tonyâs cock. âAm I doing this right?â
âDonât fuck with my head, babe, itâs not right. Everything else youâre doing is more than right, but the sweet little boy routine? Not buying it. I never took you for a cock tease, but thatâs all you have done all night.â Tony bucked, trying to get more contact, but Gibbs moved away just as quick. âYouâre a bastard, but Iâve always managed to get over it. Youâll have to work damn hard for me to get over this.â
Jethro let out a deep sound of satisfaction before swallowing Tony whole, driving three fingers inside that tight ass and sucking hard as he pumped in and out. He was going to rip the other manâs orgasm out of him and blow his head off. Jethro was only dimly aware that he was fucking the bed, driving his hips over the covers and pressing down to stimulate himself any way he could.
He was growling and groaning, lost in the way Tony felt in his mouth, the sheer heat and force of the man below him. He lifted his head, gazing into Tonyâs face, encouraging him with his eyes to let loose, those green eyes electric as the other man watched him sucking his cock.
Tony was trying to hold onto what little restraint he had, but seeing those blue eyes, looking up at him did it. He lost all control, and was pretty sure he blacked out for a second. âGood God, Jethro,â he wanted to continue but he was having a tough time catching his breath.
Jethro let out a low moan as Tonyâs hands clamped onto his head and the other man emptied himself into his mouth, keeping his eyes on Tonyâs all the while. Watching Tony get off was great but it was only the beginning.
âCatch your breath, sex machine,â Jethro said before standing. As soon as he cleaned his hand off, Tonyâd better be ready for round two, because he was hard and aching and his patience was gone.
The end by silverfoxfiles
Chapter 4
When Jethro returned to the bedroom, Tony was breathing evenly and deeply, seemingly asleep. He stood watching Tony for a few minutes. The kid was in excellent shape, his abdomen taut, legs muscular. And his cock softening slowly. Jethro couldnât keep his eyes off the sight. It made Tony look vulnerable without stealing his masculinity. He was all man. Completely all man.
Jethro couldnât help the smirk darting across his lips. Tony had been damn good. Watching him lose control, making him lose control, was a rush. But it was time for Tony to learn the gentle art of payback. Jethro was hard and he wasnât about to waste it on his hand when he had that body in his bed, that tight ass, strong legs.
He walked to the head of the bed, turning DiNozzoâs head slowly until those sensual lips were almost against his raging cock. He tugged lightly on Tonyâs chest hair before running a thumb over his lower lip. âWake up, DiNozzo. You forgot to finish what you started.â
Tony opened his eyes slowly. He hadnât been sleeping, at least not really. Heâd always been able to drift off for a few minutes to try to regain his strength. âWho said I was sleeping, and I donât remember starting anything. Participating, sure. But I didnât start it. Well, maybe I did. Really does it matter? If I finish it, I suppose not. Iâm alone in bed, although I see youâre more than in the mood to join me.â
âYou talk too much.â Jethro found a nipple, working it slowly. âWhat do you wantâŠme inside, or me in your mouth? Youâre spread wide open for me now.â Without waiting for an answer, Jethro pinned Tony to the bed. Screw what Tony wanted, he was making the decision for them both.
âForget what I asked, I need to know how tight you are.â Even though heâd loosened Tony up, he knew damn well that his lover was tight and solid, snug, would glove him like he was meant to be there.
He uncapped the lube and slowly slicked his cock up, stroking slowly, trying to hold out. He was aching. âBareback?â he asked, needing that permission before he plunged inside Tony.
âIâm clean. I put my life in your hands ever day, I trust you to keep me safe.â If there was one thing that Tony knew, drunk or sober, it was that Jethro Gibbs wouldnât put him in danger. âYouâre clear and ready for landing, Captain. All aboard the USS DiNozzo, enjoy your stay, make sure you treat your ride right, and Iâm sure heâll treat you right.â
Gibbs chuckled, reaching out to muss Tonyâs hair. âRelax.â His fingertip worked in and out of Tonyâs ass a few times, preparing him, making sure his muscles stayed open. âBreathe out and stay relaxed.â He knew that Tony knew all of this, but he had to say something.
He arranged Tonyâs legs and hips before he eased in slowly, eyes fluttering shut in satisfaction. So tight, so fucking perfect. He moved slowly until he was as deep as he could go. Only then did his eyes open and he gazed down at Tony, body shaking from the effort, fighting the desire to pound into that hot flesh.
âYa okay?â Tony nodded and in response he moved the slightest bit, barely twitching but knowing his cock was kissing Tonyâs prostate. GodâŠwhen DiNozzo clenched around himâŠlike thatâŠ. He saw stars.
âThink Iâm gonna like this ride, Tony.â Taking more weight on his arms, he began moving in and out in fast sharp strokes, need rather than finesse driving him higher. Tonyâs hands came up to clench his biceps and damn if his lover wasnât clenching and releasing his ass in time with the thrusts. He bottomed out. Clench. Withdrew. Release then clench.
âNot gonna last long if you do that.â
âDonât need to last long Jethro, not this time. This time itâs about getting your rocks off and having a good time.â Tony was having a really good time, he knew this had nothing to do with love, it was pure lust and fucking. That was fine, it was what he needed right now. Anything to connect him with something, or more specifically some one, even if it was just for the night. He needed to belong again, and Gibbs was giving him that.
âYouâll have to spank me later for being a bad boy. We both might like that too.â
âLaterâŠlater.â Gibbs rested his head against, Tonyâs. The other man was making him work for it and he concentrated on the touch and feel of Tonyâs body under his, the tightness, the satisfied moans he was making, the hard cock raging against Tonyâs stomach.
He moved faster, driving in almost as hard as he dared, wondering if he was getting toward the end of Tonyâs comfort zone. But Tonyâs satisfied sounds told their own tale. âClose, Tony,â he warned, wanting to give the other man an out if Tony didnât want him to cum inside.
âDonât hold out on me, Gibbs. I want all you can give me. So big, but fit just right, hardly a twinge.â It had been a while since Tony had bottomed, but this felt so right. âIâm ready, doing my times tables to hold out for you. Donât make me wait, Iâve been waiting years it seems.â
Jethro leaned in close, mouth to mouth, breathing harshly. âWrap your hand around yourself, DiNozzo. Jack yourself while I fuck you.â Unbelievable, he was fucking Tony DiNozzo. After all this time. That was the realization that finally broke his composure and he pounded hard into Tony, fireworks exploding behind his eyes. âNow, DiNozzo. Now!â
Tony had a basic idea what was going on around him, but he was fully centered on Gibbs and what was going on between them. He exploded when he heard Jethro shout, the hot cum flowing over his hand. âJethroâŠâ It was a low moan, if he had more energy heâd have tried to vocalize what he was feeling, but the moan was about all he could muster. He wasnât even sure he was going to want to move anytime soon. âStay where you are, donât leave me yet.â
Gibbs leaned in, surprising himself when he kissed Tony gently. The fireworks were still sparking all around him, and he slowly collapsed atop Tony before turning them both onto their sides and facing each other.
He had no problem staying where he was; he hadnât even softened yet. Gibbs buried a hand in Tonyâs hair, the younger manâs cum cooling between their stomachs. He needed to be responsible and clean them off but right now he just wanted to stay inside the younger man and keep him close.
Tony stretched, loving how Gibbs shifted with him. The power that the body next to his held was tantalizing, and Tony happily let his fingers wander. âI think I really needed this. To put what happened if not behind me, at least start to make sense of it. You have a special way of taking the focus off of what happened, and turning in to what I want from here on out.â
âYeah? What do you want from here on out, DiNozzo. This? Me inside you? Can you feel me inside you, Tony? Still hard. Donât want to move.â The words came out effortlessly, his hand resting on Tonyâs shoulder. He wasnât an afterglow guy, but everything was different with this man.
He softened his tone of voice, hand stroking over Tonyâs cheek before patting it gently. âYou okay?â
âYeah, Iâm fine. Really blissed out, thanks to you.â At this point in the majority of his relationships, he was making his way out the door. But Tony was feeling extremely content; he hadnât even considered bolting, which might have been a first. âYou okay? Got the idea, this isnât your first go around but wouldnât have guessed it before tonight. Guess I donât know you as well as I thought I did.â
âNot for a lot of years, DiNozzo. Youâre special. Ah, hellâŠya wanna stay tonight? Shouldnât be alone and like I said, got food and liquor.â He lowered his voice. âAnd me.â
Tony didnât have to think about it. He wanted to stay but he also didnât want to look weak. It was so tempting though, to just put his life in Gibbsâ hands for a while and know that heâd walk away in the morning or when ever no worse for the wear.
âFood and liquor are both fine. But I wonât be staying for that, Boss. I donât want to go home, I really canât handle being on my own tonight. I realize in my head that itâs done with but I donât know that I can fully believe that. I need to be anywhere but home right now.â
Jethro cocked his head, watching DiNozzo for a few long moments and wondering if he could do this, if he could allow himself to let someone in. After a relatively short internal debate, he threw caution to the wind, pulling the man even closer.
âYou stay. New beginning if ya want it. You and me, new team. In and outta work.â He interlaced his fingers with Tonyâs. âYou want it, ya got it, DiNozzo.â
âYeah, I want it.â A new beginning was tempting, maybe it was just he needed to start over with Jethro. âIâm on your six, Boss; know youâre on mine. Not just at the office, kinda nice knowing I donât have to worry anymore. Wonât be taking any undercover assignments either. Just want to be home and enjoy us for a little while.â
Home. Us. Jethro should have wanted to run instead of bedding down and forming a new relationship, but this felt right. Whether either of them had acknowledged it or not, theyâd stood tall on each otherâs sixes for a damn long time.
âGood. Now that we got that settled, sleep or food?â
End Notes:
Beta: Special thanks to our beta goddess, Anna! To say she rocks is a gross understatement! We're so not worthy! Candy-covered Gibbs and DiNozzos for her!
Author Notes: This is it for now. We may revisit this story with a sequel, so please tell us what you think!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.