Gibbs's world is simple.

It's black and white.

It's good and bad.

It's right and wrong.

It's positive and negative.

East is east and west is west. And never the twain shall meet.

The good guys wear the white hats; the bad guys wear the black hats.

Black and white with no shades of grey.

That's Gibbs's world.

But it's not like that for the rest of us. Even if at times we think it should be.

If I think about it, I know I wasn't really surprised when I learned Ducky had told Gibbs about me failing to stab Ari.

I wasn't surprised because although for Ducky the world has a multitude of greys, when it comes to Gibbs he sees things in black and white.

For Gibbs.

Against Gibbs.

His is Gibbs's closest friend. The only person outside of Director Morrow and Tobias Fornell whose opinion Gibbs truly values.

So when he told Gibbs about my failure to stab Ari I wasn't surprised.

But I, like most people, don't deal in absolutes. For me there is more than black and white.

And the more is why I couldn't stab him.

Against my will I found myself attracted to him. Just for a minute, a second, a millisecond, a lifetime, I found myself attracted.

I shouldn't have.

I am a Federal Agent.

I once protected the President.

For me there should be no grey areas.

For me it should be black and white.

Good and bad.

Right and wrong.

Positive and negative.

East and west.

But life isn't like that.

I was attracted to him.

Ducky saw it.

Gibbs knows it.

I have to live with it.

East may be east and west may be west.

But the twain do meet.

There is more than just black and white.