Lovers' Secrets
Chapter #1

“So what have you been up to lately, Mike? It’s been a really long time since we talked.” Kate was smiling at the young man in the passenger seat of her new Acura. The man laughed.
“Yeah, I guess I should have called more often. Sorry, I’ll do better next time.”
“There won’t be a next time if you don’t tell me why you asked me to pick you up from the airport. Claudia’s going to be pissed, and if she takes me down, you’re riding shotgun.” Kate’s tone was sarcastic, but Mike knew his cousin well enough to know she wasn’t kidding.
He sighed. “I’m sorry, it’s just…I didn’t want to talk to her right now, she’d know something was up, and I don’t know what to tell her yet.”
Kate glanced over. “Well, just tell me, and we’ll figure out where to go from there. I mean, it’s not like you knocked up her best friend, right?”
A guilty shadow passed over his face, and Kate stared at him. “You have to be kidding me! Mike, I’m gonna help her kill you! And Natalie.” Too late she realized that he was grinning. She shook her head and laughed. “Bastard. I always said you should have been an actor.”
“But instead I decided to be a chef. Weird, huh?”
“Not too much, so what’s going on?”
Well, see, I’ve got a problem, I want to propose to Claudia, but I haven’t got any money to buy a ring, or a wedding or to support us. I’m trying to figure out, ethically, if I should ask anyway.”
Kate laughed. “What kind of problem is that? I wish I had your dilemmas, Mike. It’s obvious, you should…” But she never finished the sentence. As the car sailed around the corner, another vehicle slammed into it going the other direction. The airbags exploded from the dash, and Kate was slammed back into her seat. As she recovered her breath, she glanced over to check on Mike. He didn’t move. “Mike? Are you okay? Mike?!” She drew a shuddering breath and dialed 911.


It had only been two hours, but it felt like a lifetime. She was sitting in the passenger seat of the NCIS van, wrapped in a blanket. From the driver’s seat, Gibbs was yelling at Tony for some reason or another, it was either not taking enough photos, or flirting with the ambulance driver; she couldn’t concentrate enough to figure out. All she could see was Mike lying on the stretcher, attached to an IV drip and painkillers.
“Hey, Kate! Pay attention!” snapped Gibbs. “What happened?”
“I don’t know, okay?”
“What d’you mean, I don’t know?” He was pissed, as usual.
Kate rolled her eyes. “We went around the corner, and the other car was driving towards us on our side of the road. It was major, but I’m fine. Mike on the other hand…”
“Hey, who is Mike anyway?” asked Tony, “New boyfriend?”
“No, he’s her cousin” answered Gibbs. “Now shut up, and let me drive.”
“Sorry boss.” Muttered Tony.


Three days later, Kate sighed and popped four Ibuprofens in her mouth, and swallowed them down with her hot chocolate. She hadn’t drunk any coffee since the accident, it made her neck hurt. She glanced at the clock. Four-thirty, only a half hour to go before she could go home. Her cell phone rang, distracting her from her train of thought.
“Kate, speaking.” She answered. Suddenly a woman was screaming at her, blaming her. Kate couldn’t understand a word Claudia said, she was too hysterical.
“Claudia, slow down, I can’t hear you.” She tried to sound soothing, but her annoyance at her cousin’s girlfriend came through anyway.
“Listen once, and listen good Kate. He didn’t make it through the surgery.” The woman was sobbing, and her voice was coming from farther and farther away. “He didn’t make it! He’s dead, and it’s your fault, Kate! It’s your fault!” The woman hung up, but Kate’s hand didn’t move from her ear. Mike was gone. Her favorite cousin was gone. She dropped her phone and started shoving her things into her purse, oblivious to the tears running down her cheeks. Her hand touched the bottle of painkillers on the desk and she paused. Mike wouldn’t ever feel pain, so she would feel it for him. She dropped the bottle into the trash and got up, purse slung over her shoulder.
As she passed McGee’s desk she said, “Bad news from home, I’ve got to leave early. Tell Gibbs for me, would you?”
McGee looked up, concerned. “Sure, Kate. What happened?”
“Nothing. See you later.” She ran to the elevator, hitting the down button harder than she’d meant to. As soon as the doors opened, she was inside. She slammed her fist into the close-door button and than hit parking. The doors slid closed and the metal box moved smoothly down to the parking garage level. She ran to her car and closed the door the second all her limbs were inside. She couldn’t see. Great. Where the hell was she going to go? She was thinking clearly enough to know that if she went home that would mean being alone with her pain and a loaded six-hour, that was suicide, clear and simple, but there was nowhere else to be except work.
Wrong. There was the bar. That was safe enough. Sure she’d get drunk, but the worst she was likely to do was pass out at the bar. That’s where she would go. She could drown her pain in alcohol; maybe even get some guys at the bar to pay for it. She wiped her eyes and stomped the gas, and five minutes later, she was sitting at a downtown bar ordering a shot glass of bourbon.
twelve shots and three guys later, Kate stumbled out the door of the bar, completely wasted. She was giggling a little bit, and tripping over her own feet. A couple heading to their car stopped and hailed her a taxi, pushing her inside and ignoring her drunken comments.
“Where’re you going lady?” asked the cabbie, bored. He’d seen too many drunks to be particularly attentive to any of them. Kate still didn’t want to go home, so she gave the first address she thought of and the driver sped off. When they reached the address, she overpaid the driver and walked unsteadily up the front path. She knocked on the door but didn’t get an answer. She pouted and knocked again. This time the door swung open. Gibbs was framed in the doorway, wearing jeans and a T-shirt. He looked surprised.
“Kate? What are you doing here?”
“I just…just wanted to…stop by and say hi.” She slurred wavering a little bit. Gibbs’ expression cleared and he ushered her inside.
“Here, come on down to the basement, I’m working down there. Do you want anything to drink?”
“No thanks, I already had a bunch.” She stated with difficulty.
“I meant coffee.”
“Oh. Sure.”
Gibbs grabbed a coffee cup and filled it up, looking up just in time to see Kate teetering at the top of the stairs. He raced forward, catching her by the elbow just before she fell down the steps, all without spilling the coffee. He guided her down into the basement, not letting go until she was seated by the frame of his boat. He handed her the cup. “Drink.” He commanded. She took a big gulp of the inky liquid, obediently, and then started coughing.
“Ugh, what is this?!” she asked wiping her mouth.
“Coffee.”
“It tastes like tar!”
“At least you have enough brain power to know that.” Replied Gibbs dryly. “Keep drinking it and maybe your hangover won’t be so bad in the morning.”
Kate sighed, her brain was still fuzzy, but she wasn’t quite so wasted now. “I had at least five shots of bourbon, and I don’t even know how I got here.”
“Hmm. Yeah, well, you’re screwed than.” Laughed Gibbs. ‘He has a nice laugh.’ Thought Kate idly.
“Do you mind if I stay here for a little while?” she asked.
“Sure, I’m just working on my boat. Want to try?”
Kate shook her head. “No thanks, Mike tried to teach me how to use tools once and he almost ended up in the hos…” she stopped, finally remembering why she’d gotten drunk to begin with. She stared at the boat, imagining Mike’s body on one of Ducky’s autopsy slabs. She didn’t even know that she’d started crying until she felt Gibbs’ thumb wiping away the tears.
“What happened, Kate? Is your cousin okay?” she could hear the concern in his voice.
“He…” she sniffed. “He didn’t make it off the operating table.” She was full on sobbing now. “It should’ve been me.” She wailed. “The accident was my fault, and things were going so well for him. He was going to propose to his girlfriend, and now she’ll never know how much he loved her!” Gibbs knelt down next to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
“Shh, shh. It’s okay, there was nothing you could do. I’m sure Mike wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.” She curled into his chest, sobbing, and he held her, humming a little under his breath. Finally, she stopped crying and started hiccupping instead. He ran his hand up and down her back, trying to get her to calm down. “Hey, Kate, why don’t you just try working with the sanding block. I’m sure Mike would be happy if you learned.”
Kate hiccupped again and nodded. “Okay. Will you show me how?”
Gibbs helped her to her feet and led her to the boat. He handed her a sander and positioned her hands on it so that she had the best leverage. “Alright. Take a step forward with your right foot. Just a little one. Lean forward a bit, and keep your shoulders and hips parallel. Put your arms all the way forward, and slide the block along the grain. Put your weight on the front foot, and then you won’t tire your arms out.” He stepped back and Kate kept sanding the frame. Slowly her body started to relax. She moved to a different spot on the frame and did the same thing.
“This is actually kind of fun.”
“It’s very therapeutic.” Replied Gibbs, watching her. He watched as she pushed a lose strand of hair back into place, and then raked his eyes down her body.
“Is that why you’re always down here?” she asked. His eyes snapped back up from admiring her very cute back pockets.
“No. I’m down here because I want to finish the boat so I can sail her. You’re down here because it’s therapeutic.”
She turned around in a huff. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she demanded.
“That you showed up dead drunk at my front door, and you just soaked my T-shirt because you were upset about your cousin’s death.” Kate glanced away, embarrassed, and Gibbs went back to checking out her outfit. Her shirt was a little tight around the chest…
“Whoa! Slow down, you’re going to put a hole in it!” Gibbs jumped forward and grabbed the sander out from under Kate’s hands, rescuing his boat from sure destruction.
“Sorry.” Kate spat. “I’m going to go home now.” She whirled around and stalked towards the stairs. ‘Shit.’ Thought Gibbs. ‘I swore I’d tell her this time.’ Fortunately, Kate was still fairly drunk and as she rounded the corner of the stairwell she tripped and collapsed. For the second time that night, Gibbs ran to catch her. And for the second time that night, Kate started crying. Gibbs sighed. Crying women intimidated him. One of the few things that did. He pulled Kate to her feet and hugged her to him, praying that she would stay in his arms.
“It’s okay, shh, it’s okay.” He chanted quietly. It seemed to work, and she stopped crying sooner than the last time.
“I’m sorry I keep crying all over you.” Kate sniffed, not moving, which suited Gibbs just fine. “I’m not usually this emotional.”
“You’ve had a rough week. You’re allowed to be emotional.” He skipped his usual response to apologies.
“I probably should get home though.” She said, waiting for him to release his grip on her waist. He didn’t. “You can let go now.” She promted.
“I don’t feel like it.” Gibbs was surprised by his own boldness. He glanced down at the woman he’d lusted after since he first met her and she gazed back at him. Her eyes weren’t mad, just confused, as if she didn’t totally understand his response. Then her eyes clouded.


Kate looked up at Gibbs, remembering another moment when she’d been this close to him.
The sub angled upwards, performing an emergency surface. Kate hadn’t realized what was happening until she was thrown forwards. She waited to crash into a wall, but felt a person instead. They seemed to be stationary, so she held on. Not that she had much choice with gravity forcing her against whoever it was. She looked up and saw Gibbs watching her and rolling his eyes. The submarine put on speed and she pressed closer to Gibbs’ chest. Suddenly she was feeling more than just the surfacing ship, her breath caught as she realized why and she forced herself to concentrate on something else. There was something warm around her waist, think about that instead. Shit. It was still Gibbs, it wasn’t right for her to feel this way. There were so many reasons. Suddenly, the ship was flat again. She felt relieved, but disappointed too. “Wow.” She said, thinking about the speed with which they had resurfaced. She was still holding on to Gibbs, and he hadn’t let go either. “Yeah, that’s what they all tell me.” He replied watching her face. She knew what he meant and pushed away quickly, glaring at the COB who had come through the doorway, daring him to speak.
She gasped a little as she came back to reality. He had that look on his face again, what the hell was happening? Why did she know that just now she was wearing the same expression? Gibbs leaned and touched his mouth to hers. Her body’s reaction shocked her. Butterflies erupted in her stomach and her fingers spread flat against his chest, but instead of pushing him away, they slipped up behind his head, latching together and pulling her as close to him as possible. Her mind spun, a combination of alcohol, too many thoughts, and Gibbs’ kiss. Why can’t you push him away? Shut up. He’s your boss. Shut up! What the hell are you doing kissing him back? SHUT UP!!! Oh holy mother of God…!
Kate tore herself free, stumbling a little as she moved towards the stairs. Gibbs just watched her, as if wishing he hadn’t kissed her but praying that she’d come back. Kate’s gaze went rapidly from Gibbs to the stairs and back again. Her mind told her to run for the door, but her body told her to go back to him. So, of course, she simply didn’t move. She opened her mouth, struggling to say something, but Gibbs was coming to her now, and she still couldn’t move. Go, stay, go, stay. In the end, he made the choice for her. He took her immobility for aquiescence and kissed her again. She sank into it this time, her defenses already weakened by the first kiss. Her body acted without her permission, performing based on instinct rather than coherent thought, and she found herself kissing him back, putting all her strength into keeping her body as close to his as possible. As Gibbs pulled her away from the stairs, all rational thought left her brain. All she could think was ‘Why didn’t we do this earlier?’


Kate woke up to the worst hangover she’d ever had in her life, and she’d managed a few good ones over the years. She squeezed her eyes closed against the pain and then gave up. She opened her eyes to look for a painkiller and realized that she had no idea where she was. ‘Shit.’ She thought. ‘I got drunk and went home with someone.’ She tried to remember, but only got the scent of bourbon and sawdust. ‘For the love of all that is good and pure in this universe, please tell me that I at least only slept with someone who deserved to be slept with.’ She prayed. She took a deep breath and rolled over in the bed to get a look at her bedmate. She froze. Holy fucking shit! Gibbs was asleep next to her, with the sheets around his waist. ‘Oh, shit, shit, shit!’ Kate began silently cursing in every langauge she knew. She fell back against the pillows and put a hand to her forehead. The movement woke Gibbs and he sat up and put a hand on her arm. Kate flinched away, still hiding her face.
“Damn. You don’t remember do you?” Kate shook her head. “Damnit. I thought you were sober again.”
“Kate uncovered her eyes. “What are you talking about?” she asked cautiously.
“You got completely drunk last night after you left the office and showed up at my door in a taxi. After a little while, you seemed sober. You were clear-headed enough to chew me out for not being sensitive enough about your problems. Aw, shit.”
“You’re saying that you thought I was sober when we had sex?” asked Kate incredulously.
“Yes. I suppose I’ve done better than I thought if you didn’t figure it out.” Kate blushed, recalling the submarine memory again, as well as one or two other incidents to which she’d attached no particular significance. “If I apologize, will you forgive me for being an idiot?” asked Gibbs, sounding a little desperate. Kate was surprised.
“You would apologize? Wow. I’m actually kind of touched.” Bits of the previous evening were coming back to her, and she found herself blushing a little just as Gibbs looked back up.
Gibbs touched her cheek, and this time Kate leaned into the touch instead of away from it. He smiled and moved across the bed towards her. He held himself over her, and dropped his head down to kiss her. Kate threw her arms around his neck, startling him. She smiled against his mouth and used the moment to switch their positions. Now she was hovering over him, laughing at the surprise on his face. She leaned down and put her lips to his ear. “I’m sober this time, Gibbs.” She whispered, smiling as she aligned her body with his.


The next time Kate woke up, the phone on the nightstand was ringing. She groaned and ducked her head into Gibbs’ chest. “Please don’t answer it!” she pleaded. Gibbs craned his neck to look at the caller ID.
“I have to, Kate. It’s DiNozzo.”
“I’m going to kill him.” Muttered Kate, pulling the covers over her head.
“Not if you don’t want him trying to figure out why you’re killing him.” Gibbs replied and clicked the ‘talk’ button. “Yeah, Gibbs.”
“Hey Boss, look, my power and hot water are out again, can I stay at your place?”
“Hell no, DiNozzo. Now if that’s all, you’d better hang up before
I get really pissed.”
“That’s not all, Boss. I was wondering if you’d heard from Kate. She hasn’t come in yet, and the Probie says she was pretty upset when she left. She isn’t answering her cell or her house phone, and it’s already eight hundred hours. She’s usually been in for at least an hour and a half by now. I was hoping maybe she called you so that I can get Abby to stop panicking. She keeps wanting to put out BOLOs and trace cell phone GPS’s.”
“Well, then lie to her, and tell her that Kate called in sick. I don’t know where she is.” Kate snickered a little under the blankets. “Now if that’s all…”
“That’s it, Boss. Oh, except there was some kind of report that you’re supposed to fill out by the end of the week.”
“Got it. Bye DiNozzo.” Gibbs hung up and was about to put the phone back on it’s hook, when Kate’s arm shot out from the sheets and grabbed it. She pulled the battery out of the phone and threw it across the room before handing the phone back.
“Here you go. No more interruptions.” She smiled sweetly and Gibbs laughed,
“I could have done that if you’d just asked.” He told her, wrapping his arms around her. “Are you hungry?”
Kate nodded. “Yes, actually. And I could really use a painkiller.”
“No problem.” He let go and got up. He headed to the closet and grabbed a clean outfit, got dressed, and headed out to the kitchen. Kate stared after him. She’d slept with Gibbs. With her boss. She sighed. She was screwed, no pun intended, if anyone every found out, but God, as long as Gibbs didn’t abandon her, she didn’t care. She shook herself. This would end here. It would be a memory and nothing more. She got up and pulled on her clothes from the day before, and walked down to the kitchen. The smell of eggs greeted her at the doorway, and she felt her stomach growl. Gibbs turned and gestured towards a bottle of ibuprofen on the counter. “Take the maximum, you missed a few doses yesterday.” He told her, going back to the frying pan. “You’ll want to get a new prescription.” Kate blushed, realizing he’d seen the painkillers she’d tossed the afternoon before. He knew her well enough to put together the information. “Eat quick, we’ve got to get to work.” Kate nodded and sat down at the table, scarfing down the hot eggs he handed her.


Gibbs parked in a heavily shaded part of the parking lot, and leaned across the car to give Kate a soft kiss. “You go in first, I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.” She nodded and stepped out of the car. As she turned to shut the door, he reached out his arm with a small bottle in it. “I think you’ll want these, Kate. It’s only been three days.” He smiled and dropped the bottle into her palm. She put it into her purse, closed the door, and headed into the building.
Tony walked in just as she sat at her desk. “Hey, where were you? You had McGee here really worried.”
Kate didn’t look up. “That’s really none of your business Tony.”
“Oh, come on Kate, no secrets between friends, right?”
Gibbs walked around the corner. “Dinozzo, go get the van ready, one of our witnesses has been murdered. Kate, go see if Abby’s got anything.”
“Got it Boss.” Both Tony and Kate said simultaneously.
Kate got on the elevator, and headed down to the lab. When she got there, should had to cover her hears and turn down the stereo. “Hey Abby. Gibbs wants to know if you’ve got anything new.”
Abby smiled. “Don’t I always tell him when I find something?” she asked, hands on her hips.
Kate laughed. “Of course you do, but you know Gibbs.”
“Well, it just so happens I do have something. It’s sort of cool too.”
“Shoot, Abbs.”
Abby turned back to her computer. “You know how our witness said that he’d tried to revive the dead guy? Well, it just so happens, that he someone else did too. The prints were covered up by our witnesses, so I didn’t see them at first. But guess who they belong to?”
Kate shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“They came from the victim’s wife!”


“We’re going to my place tonight, Gibbs.” Said Kate as the two of them stood in the moving elevator. “And no one’s leaving cars in the parking lot.”
“Fine with me.”
“Good. And why did you have to tell Tony about the tattoo? That is really not a good way keep our cover.”
“Sorry, I was thinking about how to annoy Dinozzo, it didn’t occur to me that I’d be able to annoy you at the same time.”
“You enjoyed it didn’t you?” demanded Kate.
“Of course not, I’m a bastard, but I’m not that bad.”
“Liar.”
“You caught me.”
“And I will make you pay.”
“I doubt that.”
Good, that’ll make it more fun.” They walked to their separate cars and Gibbs followed Kate to her house. He drove a block or two past it, and walked back to the door. When he came inside, he was wet from the rain. “Messy, but effective.” Said Kate, smiling. “Come on. I’m not sleeping on a couch two nights in a row.”
When they reached the bedroom, Kate threw herself into Gibbs’ arms, not caring that her clothes were soaking through from the contact. But as she fitted her body to his, he pushed her back. “What are we doing Kate? A one night stand is one thing, but there’s never going to be a future for us.” I told you. Her brain recalled last night’s doubts cruelly. Shut up. I’ll figure something out. Kate sighed, and sat down on the bed. “I know that. It’s just sex, Gibbs. It was just sex last night, and it’s just sex tonight. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to keep it that way. I don’t want a future, I just need to come home to something right now.”
Gibbs laughed. “So let me see if I’ve got this right. We sleep together, no one at work finds out, and officially speaking, we date whoever we want?”
“Sounds about right.” Kate replied, knowing that nothing could be farther from what she wanted.
“You are a very naughty little Catholic girl.” He sat down next to her.
She scooted in closer, sliding her hand over his leg. “What can I say, I’m desperately lacking in morals right now.”
“So I noticed. How long does it last?”
“Until one or both of us want it to stop.”
“This set-up would make Dinozzo really happy.”
“Good thing he’s not a part of it, then.” Kate turned and kissed him, doing her best to keep it lustful and quick, but when he kissed her back, she lost the battle, and drew it out as long as she could. Gibbs took advantage of her loss of control and rolled her underneath him, once again, she felt her body relax along the line of his. How could this happen? The man she needed to be most guarded around was the one who took down her defenses without even knowing it. What she had proposed was insane, she couldn’t control her actions when she was with him, and she knew it come back and bite her in the end. It’s just one more night, she thought. Just one more night and I’ll end it, after all, I’ve already done the work for tonight, why give up the reward? She trembled as she deepened the kiss. There were so many things about this experience that she’d never felt before. Her body’s reaction was new, as was the all-consuming need to be near him. Tomorrow. She promised herself. Tomorrow I’ll end it. And with that, she gave up everything to the sure feeling of his touch.


Kate waved to the black sedan as it roared past her window, then she swallowed a few painkillers and got dressed. At seven, her doorbell rang, and when she glanced through the peephole in the door, Tony stuck his tongue out at her. She rolled her eyes and opened the door. “Why are you here Tony?”
“I figured something out, and I seriously need to talk to you about it.”
“Come on in, but make it quick, we’ve both got to get to work.”
“Thanks.” Tony stepped through the doorway and took a deep breath. “You and Gibbs are sleeping together aren’t you?”
Kate raised her eyebrows. “Well, I’m obviously not at his house, and I’m pretty sure he’s not here, so I’m going to take a wild shot and say, no, we’re not. Besides, he’s the boss. Do you really think I’d go that low? I mean, I’m not you, Tony.”
Tony grimaced. “That’s sweet Kate, but it’s really not the point.”
Kate folded her arms. “Then what is, Tony?”
“Whatever your standards are, I don’t know, but Gibbs has rules, and pretty much every one of them says that you two being in a relationship is a bad idea. And one day, he’s going to wake up and blame you for making him break them. He’s going to take that anger out on you. Can you handle working for someone who hates you?”
Kate didn’t speak, so Tony bulldozed forward. “I’m saying this as a friend Kate. It’s not a good idea to be in a relationship with Gibbs. Everything about him and his life makes that pretty clear.”
“Then guess it’s a good thing I’m not in a relationship with him, isn’t it Tony?” Kate retorted.
Tony sighed and opened the door. “Yeah, I guess it is.” He left and Kate leaned against the door. She had to end it.


Kate watched Sheriff Charley flirting with Gibbs, stifling a laugh as he tried to avoid her advances. Charley walked over to Kate. “So what’s his story? Is he single? Available?”
“Uh, well he’s…” she forced herself to say it, after all, she’d sworn that morning it would end. “He’s single, but as for available, you’d have to ask him.” She turned and walked away, fake smile plastered on her face. It wasn’t over.


The two of them were in the basement together, laughing. Gibbs was still trying to teach her how to build a boat, and, needless to say, she was failing miserably. Kate wiped her eyes and turned to face Gibbs. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the boat frame, grinning. “So, the Sheriff seems like a lovely woman.” She teased. “Going to take her out?”
Gibbs rolled his eyes. “Are you…jealous?” he asked, innocently.
Kate stepped closer to him, dancing her fingertips up his chest. “I could take care of that for you. A little mark right…” she kissed the curve between his neck and shoulder and he shuddered. “…there, and she’ll never bother you again.”
“Hm, it is tempting, but what would it cost me?”
Kate smiled coyly. “What makes you think there’s a price?”
“With you, there always is, isn’t there?”
Kate pulled back a little, uttering a phony gasp. “Why Gibbs, I’m offended!”
He smiled. “But…”
“But you’re right, there is a price.” She closed the gap between their bodies again. “I get a matching one.” She whispered, tapping her throat.
“You drive a hard bargain.” He murmured. “Deal.”
“Good.” Kate pulled him down to the floor, administering little nips and scratches along his neck. “She won’t get anywhere near you.” Said Kate, tipping her head back and feeling the sound vibrate along her taught skin. His lips closed around her throat, and she whimpered a little. He smiled against her skin, and that was the end of that discussion.


“Gibbs you really should just let me cover them up for you.” Kate said, measuring her voice so that it was barely loud enough for Sheriff Charley to hear her. The woman was watching Tony take photos of the new crime scene, but her head was tilted back to pick up the conversation. “Come on, it’s exactly your color, they won’t show a bit.”
Gibbs glanced at her. “Fine, but don’t go making any new ones while you’re at it.” He teased. Kate giggled and started brushing the powder on his neck.
“Pull your collar down a little bit.” She commanded.
“You just want an excuse to take my shirt off!”
“No, I need to blend the cover-up.” Kate replied sternly. “Besides, I don’t need an excuse.” A vein was pulsing in the resident LEO’s neck now. Kate dusted on a bit more powder and leaned in so that her lips were almost touching his skin. Gently, she blew on it, getting excess cover-up off, and then she rubbed her thumb across the patch of skin. “Perfect. No one will know now except us.”
“Except us.” Gibbs repeated softly. Charley barked something at Tony and Kate jumped, as if brought back to reality by the sound. She hurried out to take measurements. Tony grabbed his bag and followed.
“What was that all about?” he asked, a mix of curiosity and disgust in his voice.
“What was what?”
“You know what was what! Argh!” he took a deep breath. “What was with you and the Boss making goo-goo eyes? I thought you said you weren’t in a relationship, that we agreed it was a bad idea.”
“We did. Gibbs asked me to help him get the Sheriff off his tail, so we set up that little act.”
“It looked pretty real to me, Kate.” Tony warned.
“Good, that should convince her then.”
“I don’t think you were faking that look, Kate.”
Kate turned to him, annoyed. “Believe it or not, Tony, I do know that women tend to act a certain way once they’ve made love with someone, and believe it or not, I do know how to act that way. Now, if you don’t mind, I’ve got a crime scene to sketch.
“Whatever you say Kate.” Tony pulled out a sketch pad and handed it to her. “I’ll go see how your little skit worked out.


“You know she hates you now, right?”
“I think I’ll live. What’s dinner?”
Gibbs wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling her neck. “I thought we might skip that part.”
Kate laughed. “Okay, you might be able to live on coffee, but can’t. And I skipped breakfast this morning, dinner last night, the night before that, the night bef…” he clamped a hand over her mouth.
“I get it, I need to feed you.” Kate stuck her tongue out, licking his hand.
“I think that pretty much stops working once you’ve slept with someone.” He replied, not moving his hand. Kate reached up and ran her finger along the skin behind his ear while simultaneously kissing his palm. That worked. He relaxed and she slipped out of his reach, to the bottom of the stairs. She stuck her tongue out again.
“Food first. I’m hungry.” Gibbs smiled as he watched her race up the steps.


Kate sighed. It had been two months since the crash, but she was still in a lot of pain. She rolled over and grabbed the bottle of painkillers of the nightstand. She popped the pills in her mouth and swallowed, then glanced back at the bottle. This was her third prescription and it was almost empty. She wasn’t addicted. When she’d realized how often she was taking the meds, she’d checked with her doctor, and gotten tested and tried other methods to relieve the pain. They all worked, the pills were just the most effective. Her doctor had Okayed the pills as long as she was off them in another two months. She glanced at her clock. Four forty-five in the morning. Weren’t painkillers supposed to make you sleep better? She hadn’t been able to sleep for days. But of course, that may have been because of the depression she’d sunk into. Gibbs had broken off their set-up five days ago. He’d fallen for a woman during the case they were working, and said he didn’t want to be dating one woman and sleeping with another. At least it was Saturday and they’d already solved the case. That meant she didn’t have to go into work, she rolled over and closed her eyes tightly. Nothing. She’d known it would end, but she hadn’t been prepared for what it would do to her when it did. Maybe she would go into work today. At least then she could do something and distract her mind. She got up and went into the bathroom. You look like hell. Better put on make-up again today. She picked up her brand-new bottle of cover-up. She’d never owned anything other than some lipstick and eye-shadow before, but this last week had forced her hand. She got dressed, and drove to work. It was still only five o’clock when she got in, but she needed to do something. She headed straight to the lab to visit with Abby. She turned down the speakers when she stepped through the door, and Abby turned around.
“I knew it was too early for Gibbs to be here. But you’re usually not here this early either, or on Saturdays.” Abby said, watching her friend.
Kate smiled. “I couldn’t sleep so I came in. Hi McGee.” Of course. Wherever Abby was, McGee would be there too.
“Hi Kate. Have you tried taking melatonin? I know a lot of people who use it to sleep.”
“No, it was just a one time thing, so I didn’t bother with medication.” She didn’t mention the bottle of painkillers in her purse, but she knew that Abby and McGee probably knew about them already. “I just came down to say hi. I’ll let you two get back to work.” She turned and left.
McGee turned to Abby. “What’s that word you use? Hinky?” Abby nodded. “Well something’s hinky with Kate. Has she talked to you?”
“No, but I still know what’s wrong.” McGee stared. “Oh come on, McGee, follow the line of reasoning. She and Gibbs have been arriving and leaving within seconds of each other for the last two months.” She paused and McGee picked up on her train of thought.
“Except the last couple of days when Gibbs comes and goes at the normal time but Kate comes in early and leaves late.”
Abby grinned. “Exactly. They’re an item for almost two months, and then they break up. My guess from Kate is that he broke up with her.”
McGee’s eyes widened. “And he’s been seeing that lady from the case for the last couple of days.”
Abby clapped. “Good job McGee! You’re going to be a great field agent.”
He looked at her, curious. “But how did you figure all that out if you’ve been down here when I couldn’t figure it out when I watched them together?”
Abby looked sheepish. “Well, I put GPS chips on them both.” Seeing McGee’s stare she continued. “I was curious! I couldn’t help it!”
“I’m actually impressed, how did you do it without their knowledge?”
“I put a chip on Kate’s phone, she just thought she’d left it here, and I put Gibbs’ in his PDA. I had to keep replacing that one though.” She said thoughtfully.
“I still don’t get why they would be together, though, I mean, they’re a really unlikely couple.” said McGee.
“Yeah, but Kate was really happy, which is good.” Replied Abby. “Hey, I found something weird. Come look at this.”


Kate filed paperwork all day. It was boring, tedious, and made her want to rip her head off, but it gave her something else to think about. Unfortunately, she was feeling nauseous, which made it hard to sit and do paperwork. What a hell of a time to get sick. She put the back of her hand to her forehead. No temperature. She sighed, and went to the elevator. Maybe Abby or McGee will have an idea. She took the elevator down to the lab and opened the glass door. Abby launched herself at Kate.
“What are you doing Abby?” asked Kate, laughing.
“Gibbs’ new girlfriend is a murderer!” yelled Abby, looking anything but upset.
Kate was shocked. “What?! How do you know? We have to tell him!”
“McGee already did. She’s in interrogation right now.”
“Is Gibbs there?” demanded Kate.
Abby shook her head. “He brought her in and then left. Went back home I think.”
Kate turned to leave. “Oh, Abby, I forgot. I came down to ask if you knew any fixes for nausea.”
Abby nodded. “What have you got?”
“I ate something nasty this morning I think, my stomach has been hurting too.”
“Aunt Flo?” asked Abby knowingly.
“Actually, no. Just food poisoning.”
“Try some peanut butter.”
Kate laughed. “What?”
Abby nodded furiously. “Yeah, I always eat a pb&j whenever I get sick, the sugar makes me thirsty, and the peanut butter soothes my stomach.”
“I never stop being surprised by you Abbs.”
Abby smiled. “That’s what I’m here for!”


She stood at the top of the stairs, grateful that Gibbs never locked his front door. He was working on the boat, but it was obvious he was thinking about something else. She took a deep breath and went down the steps. “Is this where you found out, Gibbs?”
He looked up. “Yeah.”
“You should talk about it.”
“I know, Kate.” His voice was quiet.
She stepped up next to him. “Come on. Talk to me. It’s good for you.”
Gibbs whirled on her. “I know!” he shouted.
Kate set her face and stood her ground. “Every time you come down here, you’re going to remember that moment. You need to have another good memory of this room to cancel it out.”
He turned back to the boat. “I’ll be fine.”
Kate grabbed his arm. “Gibbs, I’m only going to say this once, so listen up. You need to stop torturing yourself. There’s something you blame yourself for too. Something that isn’t really your fault. You have to know it’s not true, you told me that! Now, you need a good memory for this room, and you need one now.” She stepped in front of him, trying to get back in his line of sight, but he slammed her up against the side of the boat. She could see the pain in his eyes, and new she’d reached a nerve. She kept talking anyway. “You lost someone Gibbs, and you still think it’s your fault. I’m here for you, okay? And you need to listen to me. I’m going to show you that this room still has good memories.” She leaned in and kissed him, her action shocked Gibbs enough that Kate was able to get the advantage. She pulled away. “I’m going to become whoever it is you need me to be, I’m going to be whatever woman you need, and you’re going to make love to me. Two months ago, I needed the intimacy, and today you do, so have at.” His eyes held shock rather than pain now, but he still didn’t move, so she put herself forward instead. As he held her, she knew that her actions would hurt her in the morning, that she would feel the loss again, but right now he needed something, so she gave it to him. As she made herself forget what the morning would bring, she felt a name on her lips that felt right, even though she’d never been given permission to use it.
Her voice was no more than a whisper. “Jethro.”

Lovers' Secrets
Chapter #2

Kate sat with her knees drawn up underneath her chin, gazing at the man asleep next to her. She bit her lip, not realizing the strength behind the action until she tasted the salt on her tongue. It was time now. She knew it. It was time to end it once and for all. She’d tell him how she felt, and then he’d never have to see her again, but at least she’d know that she’d told him. She reached a hand out to his chest, touching him gently. “Jethro, wake-up. I need to talk to you.”
He opened his eyes, a little blearily, and sat up to look at her. “What is it?”
Kate bit her lip again, ignoring the pain. “We need to talk about this. You were right before, so, I think we should just talk about what we did. Okay Jethro?”
“I like that.”
Kate glanced at him, confused. “Like what?”
“Hearing you say my name. I’m sorry about last night.”
Kate shook her head. “No, it’s my fault, but I do hope you feel better soon.”
“What I meant was, I’m sorry that I let you believe we were going with your plan last night, that you thought I was pretending you were someone else. You weren’t you know. I feel like I missed out on something though, because I didn’t realize it myself until just now.”
“It’s okay. I already knew. That’s what we need to talk about Je…Gibbs. I can’t do this, okay? I’m not as okay with the arrangement we had as I thought I was, and I know you’re going to hate me for this, but I have to tell you. I can’t live with you thinking that what we did was just sex. At least, it wasn’t for me. It started that way, but it changed, and I can’t let you believe that I’m available for that. I made that mistake last night, and that’s why I know I have to tell you now.” Gibbs looked at her, completely adrift. “I’m ending it Jethro. I’m ending the set-up, I have to. One day, you were going to wake up and hate me for being the reason you broke your rules. You need those rules to keep whoever or whatever you lost close to you, and you were going to hate me for tempting you. I couldn’t live with you hating me. It wouldn’t be alright.”
Gibbs put his arms around Kate as he spoke. “It’s okay, we’ll work it out so that it’s not breaking any rules, okay? Yours or mine.” Kate tried to pull away, but he held on.
“Gibbs, you would hate me. Somewhere outside your conscious mind, you probably already do.”
“Kate, calm down, I don’t hate you. I’m not going to either.”
Kate took a deep breath, and spoke carefully. “I think I’m in love with you, Jethro.” He froze, and she tore away from him. Within seconds, she was dressed and up the stairs. At the top she paused and looked back at Gibbs, who still hadn’t moved. “I’m sorry.” Then she raced out to her car and drove away.
She barely took the time to put her car into park when she reached her house. About halfway home, she’d started getting nauseous again, and she flew through the door, trying to get a hold of a jar of peanut butter before she threw up. She dropped her bag and keys at the door, which she hadn’t bothered to close, and made it to the cupboard just in time. Her hands fumbled with the lid on the jar, but she got it open and scooped out a little with finger. She swallowed against the rising tide in her body, forcing down a few teaspoons of the sticky substance. She slammed the container back on the counter. Abby had been right, it did help a little, soothing her throat and giving her mind something else to focus on. She turned away to close her front door and doubled over. Every muscle in her abdomen contracted, twisting inside her body. She fell to her hands and knees, blackness encroaching on her vision as her body purged itself. In her last moments of consciousness, she saw the dark pool spreading out beneath her hands, and then collapsed in her own blood.


Kate’s eyes flew open. The tile under her body was soaked, and as she pushed herself up, she kept her gaze turned away from the pool of liquid. She put a hand to her head, trying to ignore that both parts of her body were covered in blood. She shook herself, she had to get out of here, and to a hospital, that much she knew. Where the hell was she going to go? She’d been planning on leaving anyway, but she’d hoped to have time to plan. She moved slowly to her bathroom, were she finally let herself look in a mirror. Her dark hair was streaked red, and looked like she hadn’t washed it in days, her clothes were wrinkled and bloody, and the beginning of a black eye was forming on her face. She sighed, this would be a problem. She knelt down and rifled through the cupboard under her sink, looking for the box of hair dye she’d bought a few years ago for a Halloween party. The box showed a beautiful face framed by a full head of blood red hair. She uttered a silent prayer of thanks and stripped off her clothes, tossing them to the floor. She stepped into the shower, taking the small tube of dye with her.


Two hours later, Kate emerged from her bedroom, looking like a whole new woman. Her hair was a bold, shining red, and she was dressed in a black tank-top and hip-hugger jeans. She slipped her feet into a pair of black silk stilettos and wiggled ten blood red toes. She slid a pair of sapphire earrings into her ears, and fastened a gold cross around her neck. She glanced at the bag sitting on her dresser. It contained a change of clothes in the same provocative style as what she was wearing, a false ID from a previous undercover assignment, and a small fortune in hundred dollar bills. She took a thin silver wedding band from her jewelry box and put it on. She glanced at the full length mirror n her door, and nodded approvingly. No one would associate the provocative-looking girl with the conservative Special Agent they were questioned about. She slipped out the back door, taking care not to let herself be seen, and reached the main street uneventfully. She sauntered up to a waiting cab and climbed in. “Train Station, please.” She said in a lilt, trying to keep her stomach stable. The driver nodded and zoomed off. When they reached the station, she got out and handed the driver her last twenty. Not much of a tip, but better than giving off suspicion with a Franklin. She hurried over to the ticket booth and glanced at the bill-board stating destinations. She bought a one way to Oceana, West Virginia, the farthest place she could think of. The clerk handed her the ticket, ogling slightly at the low-cut neck of Kate’s shirt. She smiled sweetly and turned away, knowing his eyes to be glued to her ass, and that he’d never so much as looked at her face. Men were pigs, but occasionally it came in handy. She jumped onto the train just before it started to pull out, and headed straight for the restroom. She locked the door and knelt down before the muscle spasms could do it for her. She opened her mouth and let the blood pour out. She wiped her lips on the back off her arm and pushed herself to her feet, rubbing at her skin with a damp paper towel. No need to cause alarm. Kate took a deep breath and opened the door. She walked over to an empty seat and folded herself into it. She took out her cell phone, noticing the bug that Abby had attached. She set it on her lap and opened the window next to her seat, then began a new message.
She hit send, and then, under the pretense of closing the window back up, dropped the cell out of the train and into the water below. “Catch me if you can, Jethro.” She murmured, and closed her eyes.


Kate stepped off the train in Oceana, stopping in the station restroom to add some cover-up to her bruising eye. She could easily make it disappear, but the implications of abuse would help her just now. She gave it a light coat, artfully making it lighter, but more obvious, than she went to find a sympathetic ear. She walked to the parking lot, looking for a motherly figure. Soon, she saw a woman with the look of a doting aunt. No children, but a maternal personality. She hurried after the woman. “Excuse me, Maam? Maam?” the woman turned to face her, noting the black eye with suppressed anger and concern.
“Yes?” she asked kindly.
“I’m so sorry to bother you, Maam.” Kate infected her voice with a slight accent. “I was wondering if, maybe, you might be able to drive me to the nearest hospital. There don’t seem to be any cabs around here.”
“There wouldn’t be, dear. They’re all call companies around here. What happened to you?”
“Well, I…I got into a little trouble, Maam. See, I’m kinda clumsy usually, and I got myself a little banged up. I just wanted to get checked up, y’know?”
The woman nodded, not believing her story. “I can get you to the hospital. Hop in.” She gestured towards an old Toyota Carola.
“Thanks so much, I don’t know what I’d have done if you hadn’t showed up.” Kate gushed. She slid into the car, buckling her seat belt. “It’s really nice of you, where I come from, no one would have given me a ride. I’m really grateful.”
“No problem. My name’s Michelle, what’s yours?”
“Catherine Harris, but my friend’s just call me Cat.”
“Well, Cat, why don’t you tell me the truth about your eye so we can take care of it better.”
Kate cursed mentally. She would find the one who was determined to do something, rather more than offer kindness. “That is the truth, I got myself banged up.”
“Yes, but who was it that hit you?” the woman pressed.
Kate looked nervous. “Is it that obvious, Maam?” she asked, hoping to divert her attention.
“Yes, it is. Make-up doesn’t hide these things all that well.”
The hell it doesn’t, thought Kate grimly. “Well, my boyfriend wasn’t so happy when he found out I was pregnant, Maam. See, we said we’d be careful, so he thinks I was trying to get knocked up. I wasn’t though, honest.” She reached up a hand to scratch her neck, naturally drawing the woman’s eyes to her cross. Play the good Catholic girl card, Kate, it’s your best one. The woman set her lips.
“I’m sure you weren’t. Well, we’re here.” Kate looked up, surprised the drive had taken so little time.
“Thank you, so much. How can I ever thank you?”
The woman waved her hand. “Just get better dear. Good luck.”
Kate waved and walked through the hospital doors, feeling her nausea overtaking her again. “Shoot!” she muttered, heading to the receptionists desk. “Could you please point me to the restrooms?” The woman pointed, not looking up from her computer. “Thank you.” Kate hurried through the hall. She pushed open the bathroom door, and felt her body contract again. This time, she didn’t make it to the toilet, and her blood spilled over the floor, spattering everything in the room. She pulled herself to her feet, weakly and held the door frame for support. She waved to a passing nurse, who stopped and stared at her bloody hands. “I think I need some help.”
The nurse nodded and grabbed Kate’s arm, pushing the door open. She froze, than turned to stare at Kate again. Then she dragged Kate into a nearby room and started taking every measurement and test that would give an immediate answer. As she did so, she picked up a phone in the room and called cleaning, then she wrote some notes on her paper and turned to Kate.
“Any medical conditions?” she demanded.
Kate shook her head. “I’m perfectly healthy. No conditions, infections, deficiencies, anything. I was in a car accident two and a half months ago, and have been on painkillers, but that’s it.”
“How many?”
“Maximum doses.”
“Any allergies?”
“None.”
“Could you be pregnant?” asked the nurse, expecting another negative.
Kate paused. “I…I’m not…It’s possible.”
The nurse glanced up from her notes, surprised, but she quickly masked it and returned to her businesslike manner. “I’ll get you a pregnancy test to be sure. Be right back.” She bustled out of the room but was back in less than a minute. “Next time you have to use the bathroom, take this with you. Can I have your name, please?”
“Catherine Harris.”
“Do you want me to call the father?”
“I don’t know who it is.” Replied Kate, coldly, eliciting another surprised glance from the nurse.
“Alright, is there anyone you’d like to call?”
“No. I’ll take the test now.” She stood up, took the box the woman handed her and walked to one of the clean bathrooms.


She’d taken five tests. All positive. She was scheduled for a blood filter that afternoon to remove the painkillers from her blood stream. She turned her face to the ceiling, praying. This was so not her week.

Lovers' Secrets
Chapter #3

Meanwhile, back in Washington DC…

Gibbs strode into the squad room. “Where the hell is Kate?” he demanded.
Tony looked up, pretty sure he knew what was happening, even if he didn’t know where his partner was. “Don’t know. She hasn’t come to work yet and she hasn’t called in. Do you want me to call her?”
“No, DiNozzo, I want you to go take an early lunch.” Gibbs replied sarcastically. “Of course I want you to call her.” He left again, still pissed off.
“Got it Boss.” Tony called after him. He dialed Kate’s home number but only got an answering machine. “Hey, Kate. Boss wants to know why you haven’t called in yet. He looks mad, better check in. I hope you took me advice a while ago, talk to you later.” He hung up.
McGee looked up curiously. “What advice?”
“Not to date Gibbs.” Tony replied, dialing Kate’s cell.
“Well, then she didn’t take it. They’ve been seeing each other for at least two months.”
Tony cursed. “I thought that was the problem. Great, this’ll be fun.” He paused as, after the first ring, an automated voice began to yell in his ear.
“The number you are trying to reach is invalid. Please hang up and try again.” Tony frowned.
“Probie? Have you got Kate’s cell number?”
McGee nodded. “673-555-1904, why?”
“I just called that number. It’s not working.”
“Let me try.” McGee dialed the number and got the same message as Tony had. “That’s weird. This number worked last week.”
“Maybe her phone broke.” Suggested Tony, beginning to wonder just how involved Kate had gotten. Suddenly Gibbs’ phone beeped loudly. Gibbs came down the steps from MTAC.
“What was that?” he asked.
“You’ve got a new text, Boss. Might be Kate.” Responded McGee, going back to his report.
Gibbs grabbed his phone and flipped it open, clicking the button to accept the text. He swore, furiously. “DiNOZZO! Get the truck. Goddanmit!” he stormed over to the elevator and slammed his fist into the down button. Tony and McGee glanced at each other.
“Well that was weird.” Commented Tony. “I wonder what it said.”
McGee peered at the elevator doors closing in front of Gibbs’ furious face.
“We could look.” He suggested.
“You’re learning Probie.” Said Tony, gleefully, hurrying over to the phone that Gibbs had left on his desk. His eyes ran over the screen and he too swore. McGee looked startled.
“What does it say?” he asked, reading over Ton’y shoulder. His eyes widened. “Shit.”
The two men turned to look at each other and then ran to get the truck, leaving the text message on the screen.

‘Dear NCIS: Special Agent Katelyn Todd is missing. Find her if you can.’


Tony and McGee stared at the kitchen in horror. Blood was everywhere, and it looked like a horror movie crime scene. The only thing missing was what worried them most. Kate.
For a second time, Tony found himself in Kate’s front hallway. He and McGee exchanged glances and stepped into the kitchen to take crime scene photos, but what they saw stopped them in their tracks. A pool of blood sat in the middle of the tiled kitchen with spatters heading into the nook and covering the cupboards and appliances. Gibbs was kneeling in front of the puddle, eyes closed. Tony and McGee started to back out.
“I know you’re there. Get in here and take pictures.” Said Gibbs quietly. Than he got up and walked out of the room. He headed through the rest of the house, hoping to find anything to tell him that Kate was alive. When he reached the bedroom, He saw an envelope on the bed. It said To: NCIS. He opened it and turned it upside down over his palm. A scrap of paper and a necklace fell out. Hanging from the necklace was engraved silver cross, and the paper read: I’ll miss you. He brought all three items out to McGee and Tony. “Bag and tag boys.”
Suddenly, his phone began to ring. He answered it. “Yeah, Gibbs.” On the other line Abby’s voice was yelling frantically. “Calm down Abbs. Now start over.”
‘A couple of months ago, I put a GPS chip on Kate’s phone, and I activated it when I found out she was missing.’
“Did you find her Abby?” snapped Gibbs.
‘That’s just it, I got all the way to the South border before the chip went offline.’
“But it’s separate from her phone’s GPS. Turning off the phone wouldn’t end the connection.”
‘No, it’s been destroyed, which means someone probably found it.’
“Alright Abbs. Give me the coordinates, and we’ll get over there as soon as we can.’
‘The last spot I had was a set of train tracks heading South, and guess what? Those same tracks start only a few blocks from Kate’s house!’
“Good job Abby. Get yourself a CafPow. On me.”
Thanks Gibbs.
Gibbs snapped the phone closed. “McGee!”
“Yeah Boss?”
“Stay here and help Ducky, than go back and help Abby run tests. Dinozzo, you’re with me.”
Tony and Gibbs got into Gibbs’ sedan and raced off to the train station. When they got there, Gibbs grabbed a photo from Kate’s file and got out of the car. The two of them walked up to the ticket taking station and showed the photo. When the man couldn’t help them, they showed the photo to people on the tracks. They got nothing, and went back to the car.
“What’s your plan now boss?” asked Tony, struggling to buckle his seatbelt as Gibbs sped over the road.
“We’re going to do what we just did at every train station, bus stop, and taxi within twenty miles of Kate’s house.” Replied Gibbs grimly.


Gibbs sat next to the boat in his basement, unable to think about anything other than the woman who had left him here. The woman who may or may not be dead, the woman who loved him. His mind went back to the text message. Catch her if you can. The memory rushed back.
Kate ran up the stairs, laughing. “Catch me if you can!” she yelled over her shoulder. Gibbs chased after her, following her all through the house before he managed to catch her. He kissed her, and she kissed him back. Long and slow, fast and careless, whatever they managed before she took advantage of a loss in concentration and started the game over. When she finally decided to be done, she slip back into his arms and cuddle. She was very much a cuddler. It seemed to Gibbs that she liked the sanctuary provided to her by being held. She would occasionally wake up screaming in the middle of the night, relieving the car crash, Mike’s death, and being held hostage in autopsy. He would hold her until she stopped shaking, and they would fall asleep that way. He should’ve known then that he was in love with her. It shouldn’t have taken this trauma to make him understand.
He and Tony hadn’t been able to find anyone who had seen her, no matter how far they searched. When his cell phone rang, he checked the caller ID before answering. “Yeah Abby?”
‘I found something Gibbs.’
“What?”
Well, first of all, the blood you found? It’s all Kate’s.
Gibbs heard her sniff on the other end of the line, and he sighed. “That’s not exactly helpful Abby.”
‘I know, but from the photos, the only explanation I can think of for the way the blood landed is that it basically spewed from wherever it came, but there was no one in front of it to block the spray.’
Gibbs knew where she was going. “So there was no way someone came behind her and caused that kind of blood spatter.”
‘Or in front of her.’
“So there couldn’t have been anyone there.”
‘Absolutely not. Also, I tested the blood from the house, it has peanut butter in it.’
“What the hell is peanut butter doing in her blood?” asked Gibbs incredulously.
‘Well, she came and talked to me earlier about a nausea problem. She said it was food poisoning. I told her to eat peanut butter to settle her stomach.’
“So, then she threw up blood?”
‘It’s the only option. Do you want the good news or the bad news first?’
“Good news, I’ve gotten plenty of bad news today.” He put a hand to his forehead.
‘Well, I’ve narrowed down the places where she could be just a little.”
Gibbs perked up. “How, Abbs?”
‘That’s the bad news.’
Gibbs sighed. “Of course it is. Tell me.”
‘If she’s throwing up blood at that rate, the first thing she’ll do is go to a hospital, and it’s not likely to be an easy problem to fix, so she’ll probably end up at a hospital with high end equipment, and she’ll probably be there a while.’
“How is that bad? I mean, it’s unfortunate, but if she’s at a hospital, they can take care of her.”
‘That’s just it Gibbs. Most things that would cause a woman to throw up that much blood, is going to be potentially fatal. Even with immediate treatment.’
Gibbs was silent for a moment. “Thanks Abbs. Back to work.” He hung up. This was great. What the hell was he supposed to do? Their relationship would come out, and he’d become a suspect in her disappearance. That would mean being taken off the case, which, in turn, would mean not being able to help find her. Why the hell had he let her get away from him? It’s not like what she’d said was so…Damnit, he couldn’t lie to himself. It’d scared him half to death when he’d heard her say she was in love with him. He sighed and turned on his TV. Maybe there would be something helpful on the news, some miracle doctor who had saved a dying woman’s life. A woman who happened to be Kate. No. Such. Luck.


Kate screamed, wishing she’d accepted the drugs when she still could. Now it was too late, and the baby was coming. Her body was racked with the pain of childbirth. Not something she wanted to experience ever again, she thought ironically. Her body shuddered and contracted again, this time bringing with it a decrease in pain and a loud crying.
The nurses surrounded her for a few minutes, and then one of them handed her a little bundle. “Congratulations, Ms. Harris. It’s a girl.”
Kate looked at the tiny baby in her arms and nearly cried out. She closed her eyes. Was it possible for a child to look so much like her father the minute she was born? She looked again, and this time, two huge bluish grey eyes were looking back at her. She just stared, It was like a photo. The nurse was still standing next to her, looking like there was something else she wanted to say. Kate looked at her questioningly.
“Ms. Harris,” she started gently. “Your baby is blind.”


Kate stepped off the train in DC, dressed all in black, a long skirt, wrap top, and thick veil. She saw an old faded poster with her face on it. ‘Have you seen this woman?’ it asked in huge letters. She smiled sadly. ‘So close, Jethro, so close.’ She thought to herself. She hailed a cab and asked to be taken to the address she’d looked up before she left Oceana. She looked at the baby girl in her arms, trying to convince herself that this was the right thing to do. They arrived at the orphanage and Kate asked the driver to wait for a moment before stepping out. She walked up to the front desk and the receptionist glanced up, not surprised to see a single woman with a child in her office. “Excuse me, I called earlier, my name’s Katelyn.” She said quietly. Now the woman was interested. On the phone, Kate had asked if the orphanage would ensure that a specific man took possession of her child.
“Of course. How can I help?”
“I was hoping that you’d call someone for me and give him my baby and this.” She handed the woman a sealed envelope. “Is that possible?”
“Of course. Do you have the phone number?”
Kate scribbled it down on a scrap of paper and handed the baby to the other woman over the desk. “Her name’s Elizabeth.”
The receptionist nodded. “I’ll call right now. Would you like me to tell him anything in particular?”
“That Katelyn Todd left the baby. That’s all.” Kate replied softly. “Thank you.” She turned and strode back out the door. She got back in the cab and left. The woman, cradling a sleeping Elizabeth in her arms, picked up the phone and dialed the number.
“NCIS headquarters, Special Agent Gibbs speaking. How can I help you?”
“Hello, I was calling to ask that you stop by the orphanage on Broadway Street, I have…”
“Who is this?” asked Gibbs peevishly.
“My name is Grace, I work at the orphanage on Broadway Street, and a woman asked me to call you and ask you to stop by.”
The other end was quiet for a moment. “Did you get her name?”
“Katelyn Todd.” Replied the receptionist.
“I’ll be right there.” He said quietly, and hung up. Elizabeth cooed a little, and Grace looked down to make sure she was still asleep. About twenty minutes later, A black sedan parked in front of the orphanage, exactly where the taxi had been earlier. A man stepped out and walked through the doors. He approached the desk and flashed his badge. “I’m looking for Grace.” He said, nodding to a woman in the room who was rocking a bundle of pink blankets.
“That’s me. You’re Mr. Leroy Gibbs?”
“Yes.”
Grace nodded. “Ms. Todd wanted you to pick up her daughter.” She gestured towards the other woman in the room. “And she asked me to give you this.” She handed Gibbs the envelope and the other woman handed him the baby. Gibbs pocketed the card and walked back to his car, in shock. As soon as he was in the car, he called Tony’s cell. He picked up on the first ring.
“Was she there, Boss?” asked Tony urgently.
“No. Start looking for information. Try the taxi companies first. I’m not going to be coming back until tomorrow. You’d better have something for me then.” He said, trying to speak with his usual gruffness. He closed his phone and looked down at the baby in his arms. He swallowed and pulled the envelope out of his pocket.

Dear Jethro, please take care of my daughter for me, you were always good with kids, and I trust you more than Tony or McGee. Her name is Elizabeth Kelly. Her surname is up to you, I suppose. She’s blind, just so you know, but the nurses tell me that shouldn’t be a problem in the long run. She was born May 19. Don’t bother trying to track me, the most you’ll get is a cab driver who remembers driving an Arab woman to the orphanage and a pay phone number within a few miles of said orphanage. I wish you luck being a father. Say hi to Ducky, Tony, McGee, and Abby for me. Tell Abby to stop worrying, I’m fine, and she was right about the peanut butter. Thanks so much.
Katelyn Todd

Gibbs sighed and glanced at the tiny face peeking out of the blankets. The mouth was all Kate, but other than that, the little girl was practically a carbon copy of himself. He cradled her in one arm and put his other on the steering wheel. He hit the gas and headed for home, but at the last moment, he changed his mind, and turned around. He drove back to NCIS headquarters and parked his car. He got out and walked to the elevator. He got in and rode it to the top floor. He got out and walked to the Director’s office. The sign had recently been changed, and now read Director Shepard. He walked past Cynthia and knocked, which he hardly ever did. When the voice inside called for him to come in, he pushed the door open, walked through and closed it again, he went right up to Jenny Shepard’s desk and sat down across from her. Jenny stared at the blankets in his arms.
“Jethro, is that what I think it is?”
“Not an it, Jenny, a she.” He replied, settling the girl against his shoulder.
“Well what is she doing with you?” asked Jenny incredulously. Gibbs’ face was completely blank as he passed the baby over to Jenny. She pulled the blankets back and her eyes widened. “She…she looks just like you.” She whispered. Her eyes snapped back up to Gibbs’ face. “Is she…?”
“Yeah.”
“Then who’s her mother?” Jenny’s voice was colored with disbelief.
“Special Agent Katelyn Todd.” Replied Gibbs matter-of-factly.
Jenny gaped at him. “What…I don’t…why the hell wasn’t I told about this?! You would have been taken off that case ages ago!”
“Well, that would be why I didn’t tell you about our relationship. But I didn’t even know about Elizabeth until today.”
“You already named her?” asked Jenny, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
“No, Kate did. Her name is Elizabeth Kelly, surname undecided.”
Jenny gazed at the little girl in her arms. She sighed. “She’s beautiful, Jethro, but why did you bring her to me? I assume there are lots of people to show her of to.”
“Sure, but I need help right now. I haven’t got a single woman on my team, I can’t just take a few years off until she can be sent to daycare while I’m at work, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let McGee or DiNozzo watch her, and I can’t bring her out on the field.”
Jenny glared at him. “You want me to baby sit?” she asked acidly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure I’d love to take care of her, but there are more suitable choices.”
“Who?” demanded Gibbs. “There are only a few people in this agency that I trust enough to watch her, and you’re the only one of them who doesn’t go out on the field.”
“Ducky.”
“Sharp objects in the autopsy room.”
“Lee”
“I hardly know her.”
“Nikki?”
“She would never be able to look after a baby, not with her germ issues.”
“Abby?”
Gibbs just stared at her.
“Okay, I sort of understand that one, but I still think that Abby or Ducky would be the best choice. Regardless of sharp objects or personality.”
“I trust you, Jen. And Kate would, too.”
Jenny passed Elizabeth back to her father. “Considering Paris, I think that Kate would rather you have Abby and Ducky help with the baby. I don’t think she’d like me that much.”
“She left Jen. She ran away, and she’s not planning on coming back. If she even wanted to come back, she would be holding Elizabeth right now, not me.” Replied Gibbs, pain in his eyes. “I somehow don’t think she minds who I ask to help.”
Jen frowned. “Regardless, I can’t consent to being responsible for her, Jethro. Talk to Ducky, together he and Abby can take care of her.”
Gibbs stood up, recognizing the dismissal, and left the room, heading down to the parking lot and his car. Jenny stared after him, still a little surprised by this turn of events. It was unfortunate. She would’ve liked to have met Special Agent Todd, and perhaps the two of them could have been friends, if, perhaps, Kate could forgive Jenny her previous relationship with Gibbs. She sighed and went back to her report.

Lovers' Secrets
Chapter #4

Five years later

Kate stood over the bathroom sink, letting the tears fall. They had to fall now, because there would be no time later. She took a deep breath and turned on the water, watching the blood run off her hands and down the drain. What had she done with her life? All her scruples, morals, gone, and for what? She looked in the mirror. For the reason to keep running, for the opportunity to get better at running, and for the way the danger made her feel. She washed the sink, and left the room, passing the dead man’s bedroom as she did. She smiled grimly. At least she was sanctioned. She rounded a turn in the hall and nearly ran into a tall, exotic young woman. Both women moved into defensive positions, but relaxed as they recognized each other.
“Ziva, you scared me.” Kate relaxed, running a hand through her hair. “Did Jenny send you?”
“Yes. She wanted to make sure this one didn’t get away.”
“I’d say so. Neither of us has ever failed and she sends us both. Any new orders?”
“Gas explosion, not a house fire.”
“She really wants this clean.” Kate replied, surprised. “Well, I hope you’ve got the supplies for that, because I wasn’t planning on it. Gas explosions are risky.”
“I’ve got it.” Ziva set her backpack on the floor and pulled out some explosives. As she was working, she and Kate chatted. “How have you been Cat?”
Kate sighed. “Oh, pretty good. I’m considering taking a vacation. I could really use one.”
“Where would you go? We travel enough as it is.”
“I think I’d like to go visit family.” Replied Kate thoughtfully.
Ziva was surprised. “I didn’t know you had any living family members.”
“Yes, I have a daughter. She’ll be five now I think. Time flies by, doesn’t it? What’re things like at NCIS? Is Agent Gibbs still being an ass about your assignment?”
“No, he seems to have gotten over it. I still can’t seem to measure up to Agent Todd though.”
Kate shifted her weight uncomfortably, but Ziva didn’t seem to notice. She finished her work and placed the bomb. “Let’s go.” The two women left quickly, and a few minutes later, the house was engulfed in flames.


Kate lay curled up asleep on the couch, the book she’d been reading lay on the floor near her hand. A loud knock on the door startled her awake. “Come in!” she called, pushing herself into a seated position. Ziva and Tony stepped through the front door.
“NCIS Special Agent DiNozzo, and Officer Davíd. We’d like to speak to you Mrs. Harris.”
Kate looked up in surprise. “Oh. Um, can I get you anything? Coffee? Tea?”
“No thanks. We were hoping you could answer some questions about your neighbor, Petty Officer Wilkes.”
“Of course, is he in trouble?”
“Not yet. How long has he lived in the area?”
“Longer than I have. He was very nice when I first moved in. Invited me over for coffee and introduced me to some friends.” Looking at the woman on the couch, Tony wasn’t surprised that Wilkes had been friendly. Catherine Harris was gorgeous, and probably knew it.
“Did he introduce you to a Petty Officer Smith?” asked Ziva.
“Once. They were good friends, but I never really saw him Officer Smith much after the first time.” Kate ran a hand through her hair. “Did something happen to him?”
“No, he’s fine. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day.” Replied Tony. He and Ziva left. They got into their car and drove back to NCIS headquarters. “She’s hiding something. Her answers were to slow.” Declared Tony, turning left.
Ziva laughed. “We probably woke her up Tony, of course her answers were slow.”
“All the same, the boss is probably going to want to talk to her. Besides, she’s a red-head.”
“What’s that got to do with anything?” demanded Ziva.
“Gibbs likes red-heads.” Said Tony, pulling into a parking space and getting out.
Ziva shook her head. “That doesn’t mean anything. I’m going to go talk to Abby. Give Gibbs our report.” Tony took the elevator to the squad room and sat down at his desk just as Gibbs walked in.
“The neighbor says she doesn’t know anything, but I think she’s hiding something Boss.” He said. Gibbs looked at him, waiting. “When we went to Petty Officer Smith’s house after, there was a picture of her in his living room. She said she’d only met him once.”
Gibbs nodded. “I’ll talk to her. See what you can find out about her.” He left.
“Yes!” said Tony. “I knew he would want to talk to her. Pay up.” He said to Ziva who had just stepped in. She sighed and handed him five dollars.
“You’re insufferable.”


Kate got dressed, trying to pick clothes that would make her look as different from Kate Todd as possible. This was not good. Finally she picked an outfit that would hopefully keep people from noticing her face; low rise jeans and a top that show cased her chest and midriff. She swept her blood red hair, which had grown to her bottom in the last five years, into a high ponytail and slipped a jeweled pin over the rubber band just as her doorbell rang. She hurried to the front door and pulled it open. “Yes?”
Gibbs showed his badge and ID. “Special Agent Gibbs and McGee, NCIS. We’d like to ask you a few questions.”
Kate assumed a confused expression. “Agent DiNozzo and Officer Davíd already talked to me.” She said.
“I’m afraid we’re going to need to talk to you anyway, maam.” Said McGee.
Kate nodded and turned away from the doorway, revealing an elaborate tramp stamp* in the curve of her low back. McGee stared at it for a moment before composing himself. The two men followed her into the living room and she gestured for them to sit down. “Can I get you two some coffee?” she asked, already heading for the kitchen. McGee declined, but Gibbs accepted, and she poured two cup of black coffee. She’d developed a taste for it as a reminder of her past. She came back out and handed Gibbs one of the cups, sitting down across from him with the other. “I must have said something really bad this morning to get another interview.” She said, smiling. “What was it?”
*(tramp stamp- a tattoo placed where it would only be seen in certain situations, i.e. backless dresses, low jeans, nudity, etc. Specifically on the low-low back across the tailbone, where you could potentially see part of it when someone bent over.)
“That you’d only met Petty Officer Smith once.” Replied Gibbs, trying to figure out why she looked familiar. “There was a picture of you at his house.” He handed her the photo.
Kate was honestly surprised. “I didn’t give him this. And I’m sure I met Andrew more than once, but in passing. We had a lot of the same friends, so we went to a lot of the same parties.”
“Could one of them have given him that picture?” asked McGee.
Kate frowned. “I don’t know. I don’t actually remember it, although I do remember the event. This was when I went to the beach with a bunch of friends and friends of friends last summer.” She handed the print back to Gibbs. “I don’t know how he got it.”
“Are you sure you don’t remember who took the photo?” asked Gibbs.
Kate shook her head. “I don’t know.”
“Well, we’ll be in touch.” Said Gibbs, standing up. “Thank you for the coffee.” He and McGee left. Kate sighed, relieved. This was really not good. They’d be looking up her history and Gibbs would figure it out.
“Damnit.” She cursed aloud. She walked out to the driveway and got into her car. She drove out to the woods near her house. She parked her car and stepped out, breathing in the smell of the trees. She followed the familiar paths to her favorite spot and rock-hopped to the middle of a creek, sitting on the small island in the center. She leaned back on her elbows, tipping her up to the sun.
“Rough day?” called Ziva from the bank.
Kate sighed. “well, it would have been really awkward if you guys had managed to ask the right questions, yeah.” She replied, eyes still closed.
“That’s unfortunate.” Said Gibbs.
Kate’s eyes flew open and her head whipped around. “You followed me?” she demanded. Ziva nodded. “Shit. I thought I was better than that.” She frowned. “So go ahead, ask the right questions.”
“Don’t need to.” Replied Gibbs. “I already know the part you play in this. The Director briefed me.”
“Then why are you here, Agent Gibbs?” asked Kate wearily, closing her eyes again.
“Just wanted to see if you’d join me for lunch.” Replied Gibbs casually.
Kate’s peeked through her lashes at the bank. Ziva was gone. “Probably not the best idea.” She said.
“Too bad. How about I stay here then?” his voice was closer now, and Kate knew he was making his way across the rocks.
“Your choice.” She replied.
“I’ll stay then. Interesting place for a government assassin to spend time.”
Kate snorted. “I should’ve known you’d think of it like that. My work hardly indicates my personality. Unlike you.”
“And what do you know about my personality?”
Kate lay all the way down on the grass, resting her head on her hands. “You’re the strong and silent type, you like helping people, very trustworthy, very loyal. You’re a good person who doesn’t get threatening unless someone you love has been threatened first, you’ve got what most people would consider a strange sense of humor, and people are intimidated by you until they get to know you better, if they’re lucky. Sound about right? Oh, and you’re a bastard.”
“That about covers it.” Replied Gibbs. “You’re not so hard to read yourself, you know.”
“I’ll bet. Give it a go.”
“Smart, sensitive, analytical, serious, and giving.”
“That is incredibly vague and could be any of a dozen people I know.” Laughed Kate.
“You can’t be right every time.”
“I think we can add arrogant to your list. Why are you here?”
“I wanted to talk to someone objectively. You seem a safe bet.”
“Great. Now I’m a killer and a shrink.”
“There’s a difference?”
“Whatever. Just talk.”
“What do you do when you’ve given up the most important thing in your life without realizing it?”
“Learn to live with it, I suppose.” Kate replied. “Sometimes that’s all you can do. But if you get the opportunity to get fix your mistake, jump at it.”
“I was hoping you’d have a better answer.” Sighed Gibbs.
“Sorry. There isn’t one. Life just sucks that way.”


She’d gone to dinner with him. The first date they’d never had. And it had been a date; that much Kate knew for sure. Kate unlocked her door and collapsed on her couch. ‘What the hell were you thinking?’ demanded her brain. She knew the answer. She was taking her own advice. The chance had come for her to have what she’d given up. She was giving herself the chance to make it work. If she and Gibbs could make this work without all of the things that had stood in their way before, maybe she could tell him. She reached for the book she’d been reading the night before and started laughing, near hysteria. It was Persuasion, by Jane Austen. The story of two people who had fallen in love and then parted ways, thinking that it wasn’t the right time to be in love and when they met years later, it was too late for them to make it work. “Of course.” She muttered, stuffing the book under the cushions. She hid her face in her hands. She wanted this so much, so much it hurt. She would make this work, she had to.

Lovers' Secrets
Chapter #5

“I win, Daddy!” cried Lizzie, throwing her hands up in the air. “You have to do what I say now.” It was the prize they had always agreed on. Whenever Lizzie won a game, she could make one request, and it would be granted. Princess, they called it. “I want you to tell me about Mommy.” Said Lizzie.
Gibbs sighed. Classic five year old move. Lizzie didn’t understand how much it hurt to talk about Kate, but that didn’t make him feel any better when she asked. “She was a wonderful person. Beautiful, smart, funny, and always helping people. She would’ve given everything she had to a total stranger if she thought it would give them a better life.”
“Then why isn’t she here?” asked Lizzie softly.
“Love makes people do crazy things, Liz, and sometimes things happen in just the right way so that you don’t have any choice but to do something you don’t want to. I don’t think your mom ever wanted to leave, but she couldn’t see any other option. She would be very proud of you if she were here.”
“Do you still talk to her, Daddy?”
“No, no one knows where she is.”
Lizzie perked up. “Like witness protection!” she said.
“Like that, yeah.”
“Then she’ll come back someday.”
“Yeah, she’ll come back. Come on. Time for bed.” Lizzie jumped up and ran to her room, curling up under her comforter like a cat. Gibbs gave her a kiss goodnight and went down to the basement. He pulled the chain hanging from the ceiling that turned on the lights and froze. Sitting inside the boat frame was Catherine Harris.
“Hey. Sorry, the door was unlocked.”
“What are you doing here?”
“You know, I had to ask you that twice before I got a straight answer. I wanted to talk to someone objectively I suppose.” She smiled a little. “You really should lock your door, especially with children in the house.”
“That’s what everyone says. What did you want to talk about?”
Kate was quiet for a moment. “Why did you ask me to dinner?”
“You remind me of someone I knew years ago. Lizzie’s mother, actually.”
“I see. Is that a good thing?”
“I think so. Why do you ask?”
“I was wondering if you were truly interested in me or if I was a placeholder for someone else.” Replied Kate.
“Well, I guess that you first got my attention by being like her, but you held it on your own.”
Kate smiled and ducked out from under the boat. “Thank you for that, it’s nice to know.” She gave him a hug and left. Gibbs stared after her, confused. Why did she remind him of Kate? The two women were nothing alike. It would come to him eventually.


Two months later.

Kate had fallen asleep on the couch again. She really needed to start reading in her bedroom instead of her living room. She rubbed her forehead and headed into the bathroom. Her roots were beginning to show brunette again, so she grabbed a box of hair dye and got into the shower. She and Gibbs had been dating since she’d been questioned, and so far things were going beautifully. He hadn’t pegged her as Kate yet, they were a great couple, and she was more in love with him than ever. She let the dye sit for the recommended fifteen minutes, and then stepped under the hot spray, watching the bloody looking water run down the drain. Her mind raced back five years to a morning when she’d seen the same thing, only it had been real blood then. Her daughter, Gibbs’ daughter was a beautiful child. She’d finally gotten to meet Lizzie. The water began to drain clear so Kate got out and wrapped a towel around her body, leaning back into the shower and wringing out her hair. She turned on the fan and went to her room to get dressed. She’d stopped dressing quite so provocatively, but she still kept her style distant from Kate’s. Time to go to work. As she slid behind the wheel of her car, she thought of the look on Gibbs’ face the last time she’d seen him. It hadn’t been an expression she was supposed to see. Pain, confusion, and love. Her stomach twisted, knowing she’d seen his face like that before, on the night she left. She turned the radio’s volume up high and drove to a house in the country. She walked up to the front door and knocked. It was opened by a man who smiled and stood aside for her to come in. Showtime. The door closed behind her, and her workday began.


“The sitter got sick and had to cancel.” Said Gibbs over the phone. “Would you like to hang out with me and Lizzie tonight instead of going out?”
“Of course!” Kate was delighted. A whole evening with her daughter, of course she’d like that. “When do you want me over?”
“Is an hour and a half from now okay?”
“I’ll be there. Bye.” She hung up and sat down with her book, setting the alarm on her phone for an hour later. When it went off, she grabbed her coat and shoes and got into her car. When she reached Gibbs’ house, she got out and knocked, even though she knew the door was unlocked.
“Who is it?” called a little voice.
Kate laughed. “Hey Lizzie, it’s Cat, can you let me in?” The door opened and Lizzie launched herself into Kate’s arms.
“Kitty! You’re gonna be on my team, right?”
“What are we playing?” asked Kate
“Two truths and a lie. It’s really fun, and they taught us at Bridges today!”
“That doesn’t sound like a team game.” Teased Kate
“It isn’t.” Called Gibbs from the living room. “She just wants to make sure she wins, because then she gets to be the Princess.”
Kate nodded, understanding. “Well, I’ll be on your team the next time we play, but maybe this time we should all play separately.”
“Okay.” said Lizzie, disappointed. “If you promise we’ll be a team next time.”
“I promise.” Said Kate solemnly. “Let’s go keep your dad company.” They went into the living room and Lizzie plopped herself down on the floor.
“Okay.” She said seriously, taking on the role of teacher. “We all have to sit in a circle.” Gibbs settled himself on the floor and Kate sat next to him. “I’ll go first. So, I have to tell you three things about me, and you have to guess which one is the lie. I can already do division, I want a guinea pig for a pet, and I got three stars today at Bridges.” She declared.
Kate thought for a minute. “Is it that you want a guinea pig?” she asked.
“No!” Lizzie giggled.
“Then it’s that you can do division.” Said Gibbs.
“No! I didn’t get three stars today, I got four!” she cried proudly.
“That’s great Lizzie.” Gibbs ruffled his daughter’s hair.
“It’s your turn now Kitty.”
“Okay, let’s see. I’m an only child, I’ve been to West Virginia, and I love mushrooms.”
“You don’t like mushrooms!” shrieked Lizzie.
“Right. I always pick them out of stuff.”
“My turn. I’ve traveled outside the country, I work for the government, and I get seasick really easily.”
Kate went first, but deliberately guessed wrong, knowing that Lizzie wanted to win. “You’ve traveled outside the country.”
“Nope. Lizzie?”
“You never get seasick, Daddy.”
“You go it, I think that means you get to be Princess.”
“Do I get a request from both of you?” she asked.
“What do you think Cat? Should she get one from each of us?”
Kate nodded. “Of course. It’s only fair, after all, she did beat us both.”
“Yea! Okay, Daddy. Can you show me how to build a boat?”
“It’s too late tonight, but I can tomorrow.” He replied.
“Good.” She gestured to Kate. “Kitty, come over here. I don’t want Daddy to hear.” Kate scooted over to the little girl and tilted her hear down. Lizzie whispered in her ear. “Can you be my Mommy until my real mommy comes back?”
Kate flushed. “If you want me to, honey.” She whispered back, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead. She went back to Gibbs’ side, trying to mask the pain on her face as they started another game.


Kate and Gibbs sat on the couch together. “Are you okay?” he asked. “You’ve been really quiet.”
Kate looked up, and glanced away quickly. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just…just a little surprised I guess. Did Lizzie ever meet her mother?”
“No. The day she was born, her mother sent her to me and then disappeared.”
“That must be hard for her.” Kate replied, softly.
“I don’t think she really understands just yet. Of course, I’m probably wrong and she’s probably figured out what happened better than I did. Why do you ask?”
“She asked me to be her mom until her real mom came back.”
“I’m sorry, that must have felt weird.”
“It was okay. Like I said, just a little surprising.” Gibbs put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head soothingly. Kate tipped her face up to his. The kiss started out long and slow, the way it usually did, but this time, it heated up quickly. Something about tonight was different. Soon, Kate was gasping for breath under him. “Wait.” He pulled back. “I…” she closed her eyes for a moment before continuing. “I think we should probably move. If Lizzie wakes up…” Gibbs nodded, getting up. They went into his room and, as soon as the door closed, they started where they’d left off. Before they went all the way, Gibbs paused.
“Are you sure, Cat?” he asked.
“Absolutely.” She replied. “I’m sure.” Sure was an understatement, she’d been sure five years ago, when she’d first sobered up, she’d been sure months later on the last day of her old life. By now, she was so much more than sure. And clearly so was he.


Kate breathed in deeply, drowning herself in his scent. Gibbs was fast asleep next to her, and she lay curled up against him. She’d missed this so much. Had she really thought through her decision all those years ago? She’d always been so sure there was no other choice, but maybe if she’d stayed…She shook herself. She couldn’t change the past; all she could do was plan her future. She glanced over at Gibbs and slipped out of bed, pulling on her clothes. She grabbed a pen and paper and wrote a hurried note for when he woke up. She set it on the pillow and left quietly. As she got into her car, she knew that she still loved him. She sighed and took off the brake, speeding out of the neighborhood and towards her house. When she got in, she dropped onto the couch. She’d been spending a lot of time there lately. She grabbed her cell out of her purse and dialed a familiar number. “‘Allo?” answered the voice on the other line.
“Hey, Allejandro. Do we have anything scheduled for today?”
“I’ve been trying to reach you, you shouldn’t have been unavailable.” Allejandro’s voice was disapproving.
“The battery must have died.” Replied Kate carelessly. “What have we got?”
“Clear schedule and four pending.”
“And the four?” asked Kate, rubbing her forehead.
“An arms dealer, two drug dealers, and one government agent.”
“Any against policy?”
“Nothing I could find.”
“Good. Names?”
“Alicia Thompson, Alex Fairfax, Mark Lecard, and Timothy McGee.”
Kate froze. “Timothy McGee? Double check that.” She heard the keyboard and mouse clicks as Allejandro went through his notes.
“There’s no mistake, Cat. Special Agent Timothy McGee, or rather Thom E. Gemcity.”
“Sanctioned?” demaded Kate incredulously.
“All the way.”
“Thanks. Accept the first three, get the details on the fourth.”
“Got it.” Allejandro hung up and Kate dialed another number.
“Director Shepard’s office.”
“Hey, Cynthia, I need to speak to Jenny.”
“I’ll put you on. Hold a moment.” She paused as she transferred Kate.
“Hello Cat.”
“Jenny, I’ve gotten an assignment that I don’t particularly want, but I can’t get out of it. It’s sanctioned and doesn’t go against policy.”
“Who is it?”
“One of your agents. Timothy McGee.”
“Do you know why?”
“No, but I’ve sent someone to find out. I can’t protect him, Jen. The man’s got a gun aimed at his head, and if I get the chance, I’ll have to pull the trigger. All I can do is try to find out who ordered the hit and on what terms, but after that it’s up to you.”
“Thanks, Cat. I’ll work on it. Call me if you get anything.”
“I fully intended to, Director.” Replied Kate before clicking off. She sighed, leaning back. Old sins have long shadows, they said. She jumped when her home phone rang. She grabbed it. “Hello?”
“Hey Cat. I dropped Lizzie off at school, do you want to come back over?”
Kate smiled. “Sure. I’ll be right there.” This was how it should have been all those years ago.


Kate was sitting in his basement, watching him work on the boat. “How long have you been working on this?” she asked. The frame looked less finished than it had five years ago.
“About three years.”
Kate was dying to ask what had happened to the one before that, but instead she just smiled. “She looks like she’ll be a good boat.”
“She should be.” He paused for a minute, leaning on the frame. “What made you become an assassin?”
“Great job title, isn’t it? Hi, My name’s Catherine Harris and I’m an assassin.” Kate laughed. “There isn’t really a better one though. I guess I just assessed my skills and my requirements and ended up with this.”
“And what would your skills and requirements be?” asked Gibbs teasingly.
“Stealth, profiling, weapons, patriotism. All things that help me be good at what I do. And I wanted a job that paid my bills, made a name for me, and gave me a new lease on life. After my husband died, god, almost a decade ago, I didn’t want to live that life anymore. I chose a lifestyle that took me far away from anyone I might have known before.” Kate had been speaking without really thinking about what she said. “I have rules though, morals, I suppose you could call them. Ask anyone who’s ever hired me. I’m a killer snob. Literally.”
Gibbs laughed, going back to work. “Have you ever broken a rule? Made an exception?” he asked thoughtfully.
Kate swallowed. “Yeah, once or twice, but not in the assassination business. Before then.”
“Was it worth it?”
“I hope so.” She tried to lighten the air. “Ziva always says that I have too many rules and if I make too many more, no one will hire me.”
“Ever thought about retiring?” Gibbs seemed determined to stay on a serious topic.
“If I ever decided to settle down, I suppose I would.”
“What about if someone asked you to?”
Kate caught her breath. “I would consider it at least.” She replied cautiously.
Gibbs set down the sander he was working with and walked over to her, holding her close. “Please retire.” He whispered in her ear. Kate hid her face in his shirt. Not fair, he didn’t play fair.
She gazed up at him. “What would I do with myself if I retired?”
“Get a normal job, help me take care of Lizzie, anything.”
“I don’t know if I could.” She said honestly. “It’s been so long since I had a normal life, it wouldn’t feel right. And besides, Lizzie wants her mother to come back, not to have someone else take her place.”
“Lizzie’s five. She’ll be fine.”
Kate pulled away and ducked under the boat frame. She rested her head in her hands. “Got anything to drink?” she asked, not looking up. He filled a shot glass and passed it to her. She took a sip and then chuckled a little, swirling the bourbon around the glass. “Give me enough of this, and I’ll agree to anything.” She said sadly.
“Well in that case…” Gibbs passed her the whole bottle. She accepted it, refilling her glass.
“You really want me to take an out?” she asked, amused.
“I really do.” Kate smiled thoughtfully. No more running, a stable home, her family and friends…She grabbed her glass and downed it.
“Ask me again.”
“Cat, will you marry me?”
Kate choked. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. “That is…that’s not the same question.” She choked out, trying to get a hold of her thoughts.
“You said that you’d retire if you settled down.”
“But not that I’d settle down if I retired!” she gasped.
“So no?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Then what are you saying, Cat?” demanded Gibbs.
“I…I just…I…” Kate was completely lost. She knew she loved him, so why couldn’t she say yes? Because she wasn’t sure if he loved her or Catherine? Because she wasn’t ready? Because she thought he’d be angry when he found out? “Jethro, I don’t know if…” she broke down crying. She felt his arms around her shoulders and felt his hand running up and down her spine. I love you, I love you, I love you! Why couldn’t she say it out loud? She had to. She didn’t want to lose him again. She opened her mouth. Say it. “I…I have to go.” She shoved him away and ran, ran faster than she’d ever run in her life, kept running until she couldn’t run anymore. She collapsed in the shade of the woods, drawing her knees up to her chin and burying her face. She cried out her pain and fear, and then just sat there, hiccupping. What was wrong with her that she couldn’t let herself be happy? It was stupid, ridiculous, and she was terrified.

Gibbs sat stock still in his basement. Was this going to be some kind of pattern? Falling in love with a woman, trying to explain that to her, and having her run crying from his house? Really? This was ridiculous. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice anyway. He would go find Cat and talk some sense into her. With this plan in mind, he headed out the door.


“Patch me through to Director Shepard, please, Cynthia.” Kate said hoarsely.
“Did you get anything new Cat?”
“No, I…I just need a favor.” She sniffed.
Jen went on alert instantly. “Is anything wrong?”
“Just my brain.” She replied, trying to laugh, but only managing to sound hysterical. She took some deep breaths. “I need to talk to you, can you meet me at a café or something?”
“Of course. Moonstruck on Main Street.”
“Thank you, Jenny.” Kate calmed her breathing and made her way to the street. She got in a cab and gave the driver directions. She got out at the café, handing the driver money without looking at it and sitting down at a booth in the corner. A few minutes later, Jenny stepped in and sat across from her. Jenny took in the windblown hair, red eyes, and lack of make-up, knowing the imagery from past break-ups.
“What is it, Cat?”
“God, don’t call me that.” Said Kate, hiding her head. “I hate that name, I’m sick of it!”
“Why? What happened?”
Kate sniffed. “I don’t know! That’s just it. I have no idea why I did it! Any of it!” she was hysterical now.
“Hey, just talk to me.” Said Jen soothingly. “I’m sure we can figure something out.”
“I was so stupid. I should have stayed. God, I should’ve just stayed!”
“Stayed where?”
Kate lifted her eyes to look at Jen. “Here. I should never have left DC. He said the same thing you know. ‘I’m sure we can work it out.’ And we could’ve, if I’d just stayed. And then I get a second chance, another chance to stay, to have that life, and I do the same goddamn thing!”
Jenny was startled by the outburst. “What are you talking about, Cat?”
Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “My name is not Catherine Harris, it’s Katelyn Todd.”

Lovers' Secrets
Chapter #6

Jenny sighed, leaning back in her chair. “Special Agent Katelyn Todd.” The words felt strange on her tongue. She rubbed her eyebrows. “Jethro is going to kill me.”
Kate looked at her curiously. “Not many people call him that. Why do you?”
“We worked together for a number of years in Paris.” Replied Jenny not looking up. She let her hand fall onto the table top. “You need to talk to him.”
Kate’s eyes were wild. “I tried! I couldn’t make myself say it.”
Jenny pursed her lips. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. She took Kate’s wrist and snapped the bracelet closed, attaching the other half to her own wrist. “I’m calling him, and you’re going to talk to him.” She removed her phone from her purse and dialed. “Jethro, Moonstruck café. Now.” She paused as he spoke. “I don’t care if you’re busy. You’ll be here in the next ten minutes.” She snapped the phone shut and looked back at Kate, who was covering her face in her hands. Jen sighed again and dug through her purse, pulling out a brush. “Turn around, Ca…Kate.” Kate turned a little so her back was to Jen. Jenny started brushing out her friend’s long ponytail and eventually, Kate began to relax. “It’ll be fine.” Said Jen calmly. “He’s been very worried about you, you know. I’m sure he never meant to upset you.” Just then, Gibbs walked through the front door. When he saw his boss and his girlfriend sitting together, his face clouded. He strode over to the table and sat down across the table. He glanced at Kate’s hidden face, concerned.
“Are you okay, Cat?” he asked. When she didn’t answer, he turned to Jenny. “Is she okay?”
“She’s fine, just a little upset.” Jenny unlocked herself from the handcuffs and handed them to Gibbs. “I’m going to give you two some privacy.” As she left, Gibbs turned back to Kate.
“I don’t get it.” He said. “Why did you leave? I thought you’d like the idea.”
Kate looked up, biting her lip. “I do, it’s just…oh god.” She looked away. “It’s just really hard to tell you this. You’re going to be so upset.”
“Try me.”
Kate took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have left you the way I did. It wasn’t fair to you, to Lizzie, to the team, not even to me.”
“What are you talking about? Nobody even knows about this yet.” Gibbs laughed.
Kate looked up at him sadly. “But they know about when I left five years ago.” She replied softly. Gibbs stared at her, piecing together all the information.
“You…Kate?” his voice was incredulous.
Kate nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, I just couldn’t figure out the right time.”
“It’s okay.” Gibbs replied, sounding a little distant.
It wasn’t okay. His face displayed too much pain for it to be okay. This was what her leaving had caused? This suffering and uncertainty? Kate’s resolve grew stronger. She wouldn’t cause this type of damage again. She reached out and touched his hand. “I never meant to hurt anyone, Jethro. Especially not you. Can you forgive me?”
As she watched his face, his expression cleared. “I understand why you did it. Just promise me that you won’t pull any more stunts like that.”
Kate smiled, relieved. “I promise.” She raised her wrist hesitantly. “Would you mind unlocking me?”
Gibbs eyes sparkled. “I’m not completely sure you’re not going to run away again, so I think maybe I won’t.” Kate’s jaw dropped. “I think you could survive a day in handcuffs.” He teased. “You make other people wear them all the time.”
“Criminals, Gibbs!” Kate protested.
He leaned across the table, giving her the Gibbs stare, the one no one had ever withstood. “Do you want to spend some time in Interrogation? I’m sure I could arrange that if you’d prefer.”
Kate glared at him. “Bastard.”
He laughed. “But I’m yours.” He replied, standing up and taking her hand. He led her back out to the car. “Time to come home, Kate.”
She smiled and closed her eyes. “Thank god.”