I own nothing…except a vivid imagination, and several objects of affection I am not at liberty to discuss…


“Damn it!”

Abby had been sitting on her couch for the past four hours and had still not found a decent reason to get up. She had been zoning like this for months now. She would work in her lab with her babies for as long as she could stay upright and when they would force her to go home, she would sit alone in her tiny apartment and stare at the walls. She knew that the rest of the gang was starting to get worried about her but they were all too distracted to really help. Tony was too busy trying to keep the team together. Ziva was still dealing with finding out where those incriminating emails on her computer came from. Abby knew how Ziva hated to think ill of her own family but that girl seriously needed to deal with the fact that daddy dearest was a scumbag of the highest order and was setting her up. Ducky was spending more time with his mother since she had been suffering from the flu and needed constant care. And Tim…She and Tim had never been close again after she told him they would never work out as a couple. And now that he was Mr. Famous, he was developing a ladies man reputation worse than Tony…not that Tony was much of a ladies man anymore. Tony had mellowed a lot since Jeanne, though Ziva did her best to rile him up. Abby sometimes wished she could lock Tony and Ziva in a closet and let them screw it out. To hell with rule 12….Abby shut her brain down at that thought…that way led to madness…that way led to Him…

- - in the past - -

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had just put the last of his bags in the trunk of his car when he heard the squeal of tires behind him. He whipped his head around to see a black hearse pull a sharp right into his driveway, leaving skid marks on the lawn and effectively destroying his mailbox.

“GIBBS!” Abby shouted as she flew out of the driver’s seat and ran up the driveway towards him. She had taught herself to run in platform shoes years ago and she took full advantage of that skill at the moment. She stopped herself about five feet from Gibbs. Her skin paled even more at the sight of the suitcases in the back seat of Gibbs car.

“No…” She started pacing back and forth in front of him. “No…I mean no…you can’t be leaving…not really leaving…I mean I know what you said in the office but that was just NCIS and yeah that sucks but I understand how you would need some time away from work but you just can’t leav- leave. I mean that wouldn’t be right and you wouldn’t do that would you? No you would never leave …leave me…would you?” She had stopped pacing and was facing him with a broken look and her hands still sighing the words ‘don’t go’ over and over again.

Gibbs turned away from her, walked up to his front door and locked it before turning around and walking slowly back towards Abb. She was the one person he hated to leave like this. Gods, he loved this woman. There was no one alive in this world that compared to her. She had a place in his heart he had only reserved for two other lovely ladies…but somehow, despite the differences, she fit. He had kept their relationship strictly platonic for Abby’s sake. She did not need the kind of baggage an old man like him carried. Besides, she may taunt and tease but she had never once hinted that she thought of him as anything more than a father figure. And he was happy for that…not because he liked it but because it made her happy.
But what had happened over these past few days had pushed him beyond all limits. To know all of those men died on that ship because of him…because he could not remember fast enough…and that no one would listen to him once he did remember…to know those men died for the sake of good public relations…he had lost faith in the job…and he knew that meant he had to get out of there. More men would die if he didn’t…and to relive all those memories…
He walked up to Abby and placed his hands on her shoulders. The dark circles of smeared mascara and eyeliner caused by the tears in her eyes burned him more than usual because he knew he was the cause. She always looked so perfect to him, dog collar and all. He pulled her into a tight hug.

“Abs…I have to go…I just…” He did not know how to put it. He was never that great about talking about how he felt. But he owed her the truth. “I keep seeing those men Abs…I can’t do this anymore…I don’t believe in anything anymore…” His voice caught on the last words.

Abby pulled back a bit and looked into his eyes. She saw things she had never wanted to see in his eyes. Her Gibbs, the center of her universe, was broken. Oh hell no…this was not going to happen on her watch. She did the only thing she could think of. It was a risk beyond anything she had ever done before, but for Gibbs, she would do anything…even admit her deepest darkest most well kept secret of all time. She slid her arms up Gibbs arms and rested her hands behind his neck. Thanks to her patent leather platforms she was wearing, she was eye to eye with him. So with little effort and with a hell of a lot of butterflies in her stomach, Abby leaned forward and ever so gently pressed her lips against the lips of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

Gibbs first thought was “Her lips are as soft as I imagined.” His next thought was “What the hell…”

He grabbed her shoulders, pushed her back slightly, and stared at her. “Abby…what are you doing?” but he was silenced by the gentle touch of a finger across his lips.

“I am giving you something to have faith in.” she said.

Gibbs looked into her eyes and saw fear mixed with something that took his breath away. She felt his hands loosen on her shoulders and took advantage of that fact. She leaned forward and whispered into his ear “I love you Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I think I have been in love with you since you first signed hello to me in the lab.”

Abby stepped back and saw the shock in his eyes. She gave him a nervous…hell, a terrified smile and said”Surprised huh? Well, I never said anything before because I didn’t want to ruin anything, I mean you are the best thing in my life and I would never want to lose that, I mean I know I am crazy and hyper and have had sex in a coffin occasionally but I did not want you to think you had nothing in your life. I mean, me being in love with you may not be a good reason to live, in fact most find the idea terrifying and I know you don’t feel the same way and I don’t want you to feel obligated but in a way I do…” Abby looked up. Gibbs was still standing there looking at her with a look she could not decipher. “Uh, kind of hanging here Gibbs…” She licked her lips.

Something snapped in Gibbs. Everything that had happened over the past few weeks came crashing down on him. He pulled Abby tight to him, as if she was the one thing that was keeping him from drowning. He took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. He saw the love there. It was real. His lips came crashing down on hers. He backed her up till they were pressed against the car. He started kissing her all over her face. He kept saying her name over and over again. “Abby, my Abby.” Abby felt as though her knees were going to give out. No man on this earth had ever shaken her soul like this man did with a simple kiss. But she also knew nothing was ever simple when it came to him.

Gibbs was looking at her. She was amazed to see tears in his eyes. She leaned forward and gently kissed them away. He held her face in his hands and gave her that crooked little smile she loved so much.

She smiled back at him. “So…I guess we surprised each other this time huh?”

“That we did Abs…that we did.” He said with a smile as he wiped the tear stains from her eyes. Then he leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. Slowly he deepened the kiss, thoroughly mapping her mouth with his.
“Have mercy on me!”Abby thought. This wasn’t a ‘weak in the knees’ kiss, this was a ‘why do I even bother having legs’ kind of kiss.

When oxygen became a necessity that even Gibbs could not ignore, he pulled back and rest his forehead against hers. Abby was pleased to note that even Gibbs was breathing heavy.

“You keep kissing me like that mister and we are going to have to move all that luggage so we can take advantage of that extra wide back seat.” She said with a grin.

At the mention of luggage Gibbs smile slid off his face and he closed his eyes. Abby’s heart broke a little more but she knew what she had to do…she hated it, but it was for Gibbs…and that’s all that mattered. She had to let him go.

“Hey mister…don’t go all gloomy on me after the most mind blowing kiss of my life. It could give a girl performance issues.” She said

Gibbs couldn’t hold back the snort of laughter at her attempt at lightening the situation. He lifted his head up and said “I love you Abby…”

She gave him a sad smile. “I know Gibbs…and I also know that you need to get out of here for awhile.” Gibbs went to say something but she cut him off. “It’s ok. I totally understand. After everything you need time to figure things out.” She took his hand and put it against her cheek. “I just wanted you to know you would have someone waiting for you when you got back. I couldn’t let you go any other way.” She looked him in the eyes with no walls, no disguises. “I love you Jethro. Come back to me. Ok?”

He held her close and whispered in her ear “I don’t deserve you Abigail. I never will…”

Abby squeezed him tighter “You’ll have a lifetime to prove it to me. Promise?” He nodded.

He gave her one more slow kiss and said “I love you Abs.” before turning around and getting into the driver’s seat of his packed car. He moved quickly, afraid that if he stayed one more minute he would not be able to leave. He started the car but before pulling out of the driveway he rolled down the window. He looked at Abby, who was doing her best to keep on a brave face for him. He tossed his house keys at her with a small smile.

“Keep an eye on the boat for me?”

“Aye, aye captain!” she said with a salute. She would hold the tears back till he was gone. She was not going to make this any harder than it already was.

He gave her a smile that warmed her heart. She knew it was his way of saying thank you. She watched as the car pulled out of the driveway, passed her now dented hearse and his destroyed mailbox. And he drove off down the street without looking back.

Abby watched the car till it was long out of sight. She touched her hands to her lips. That man could kiss. She just hoped she did not have to wait too long before finding out what else he could do with his mouth. She smiled to herself and let herself into his house and tried to ignore the nagging feeling at the back of her mind...Gibbs had never promised to come back…but he would…wouldn’t he?

- - - - - - - - - -

That had been months ago. And there had been no word. At first Abby had been ok with it. She knew he needed time. But as time passed she could not ignore that nagging thought that Gibbs had never promised to come back. Slowly but surely she began to give up hope.

She still faithfully went to Gibbs’s house once a week and checked on the boat and watered his garden. She knew that the flowers had been plant by his daughter Kelly and that if…no, when he came back, he would be happy to see they had been taken care of. But as months went by and Gibbs did not return she started spending nights in his basement. She read everything she could on the science of boat making and the use of hand tools. She would spend hours working on the boat just so she could smell the sawdust and grease. It smelled like him. Soon it got to be too much and she stopped spending so much time there. She still did her weekly garden work, but that was more because she had become friends with some of the plants there.
She would sit by the rose bush she knew Kelly had planted and would talk to it about how much she missed him. She honestly felt the bush was listening and that meant Kelly was listening and since Kelly was closest to Gibbs heart it was like she was close to Gibbs heart. She knew it was probably morbid even for her to be talking to the man’s she loved dead daughter to make her feel closer to him. But she had very little to hold onto so she took what she could get.

But now it was no longer enough. As she sat and stared at the walls of her small apartment she thought about all the promises Gibbs had made and kept over the years. She knew that was why he had not promised to come back. He never broke a promise and he knew he wasn’t coming back. She let out a small sob. Why, why why…she always did this…she always ended up with her heart trampled on…didn’t she always try to be a good person? She just wanted him back. Even her bowling partners were saying prayers for him to come back to her every night in the Abby. Funny, she never realized that the Nuns lived in an Abby and they were the ones to nick name her Abby. She let out a small chuckle.

That did it for her. If she could laugh, then she could live. She knew someday she would see him again, just not as soon as she wanted. But until that time she was going to be the Abby he loved, not the mopey pouty face she had been. She needed to get over herself. She jumped off the couch and headed into the shower.

An hour later she was pulling into Gibbs driveway. She had never gotten the dent fixed on the hearse. She had painted a red happy face on it though. It added character she thought. She had, however, replaced the mailbox with one she had made herself in Gibbs basement. It was shaped like the boat in the basement. She had used it for practice before even touching Gibbs’s baby. She did paint it black and put a pirate flag on it though. She gave it a quick pat as she went up the driveway. She let herself into the house. After doing a quick visual check to see that everything was in place, she went out back and grabbed the gardening tools. She knew that she had to get the tulip bulbs planted before the first frost and even though it was warm for October, she knew it better get done soon. She pushed up the sleeves of her black and red flannel, tucked the trowel into the front pocket of her overalls and got to work.

An hour or so later she decided to take a break. She went to the refrigerator and grabbed the CavPow she had stored in there. She took a healthy slug and went and sat down on the rock by the rose bush.

“Hey Kelly II…sorry I haven’t been around. I wasn’t doing so well with the dealing with your dad gone thing. It must have been rough for you when he went away all the time huh. I guess that is the way it goes. I just want to see him you know? Ok, ok…I want to do more than just see him…but you are his daughter and it is just way too weird to talk about that kind of stuff with you. Anyway…work has been sucky lately…I really wish Ziva and Tony would get over themselves and get on with it…and speaking of getting over themselves, McGee really needs knocking down a peg or two hundred. Ever since that book came out he has been Mr. I know everything…he is worse about this than he was about going to MIT…and another thing…” and Abby gabbed with the rose bush while taking sips from her CavPow.

She was completely unaware of someone watching her….until she heard that someone clear their throat. She looked up from her conversation to see Gibbs standing in the back doorway and looking uncharacteristically scruffy with a duffle bag slung over her shoulder.

She looked at her CavPow then leaned over to the bush and said “I don’t know what they put in this CavPow, but if it is making me hallucinate Gibbs, remind me to buy more.”

When she saw Gibbs smile that ever so crooked smile she loved, she dropped her CavPow. It was him. He was standing in front of her. She stared for a moment before she realized that her feet were wet. She looked down to see that when she dropped the CavPow it had spilled all over her…and was getting dangerously close to the rose bush.

“NO!” she shouted and bent down. She knew this stuff could strip the grease off an engine. She did not want to find out what it would do to Kelly II’s roots. She grabbed a shovel and started scooping up the dirt that had the CavPow mixed in. She frantically was looking around for where to dump it when a bucket appeared in front of her.

“Here Abs…this may help.” Said the voice she had been longing to hear for months now.

“Thanks.” She said without looking. She finished scooping up any other contaminated dirt and leveled the dirt around the rose bush. “See...all better. You know I wouldn’t let anything happen to you Kelly II.”

She heard a soft gasp behind her. She stood up quickly. “Gibbs! I am sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. I mean that is what I call her. She has been my best friend for months now and I know it probably seems weird but it made me feel closer to you and…what?” She saw that Gibbs was still staring at her with a little half smile. “Say something Gibbs.”

Gibbs just shook his head at her.

“What?!” she said, getting frustrated. “Are just going to stand there looking and scruffy and scrumptious and oh to hell with this…” and she leaped into his arms.

He held her close. She was wearing sneakers instead of the platforms so her face ended up being buried into his chest. He had that indefinable smell of Gibbs to him. A smell that she had missed for so long she just held him and sniffed.

Finally Gibbs pulled back a little and looked into her eyes. He tugged on one of her pigtails and gave her a smile. It took her breath away. Tears formed in her eyes.

He gently used his thumb to brush the tears away and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She smiled “You are back. I mean you are really back. You’re not broken anymore.” She gave him a bright smile and then slapped him in the face…hard.

“Ow! Damn it Abs!” He rubbed his jaw.

Abby had crossed her arms and was glaring at him. “6 MONTHS!!! And not one word Gibbs? Not one word and you show up looking all yummy and think that I am going to get all mushy and yeah, I probably will get all mushy and I shouldn’t have hit you but you HURT me Gibbs and I have earned the right to be mad and pouty.” She sat down with a huff next to the rose bush.

Gibbs put the duffel bag down next to the door and walked over. He knelt in front of her and took her hands in his. She still refused to look in his eyes.

“I am sorry Abs.” he said quietly. “I know I hurt you. But if I had heard your voice or seen your face, nothing, I mean nothing, would have kept me away. And we both know that would not have been good.”

“So, you’re not mad I hit you?” she asked in a small voice.

“Actually, I was surprised by the slap.” She looked up to see him smirking. “I expected the hit to be lower.” He said with a grin.

She couldn’t help but grin back. “Did you wear a cup and everything?”

Gibbs raised his eyebrow and spoke in a low voice “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Abby shivered and then realized where she was. “No Gibbs…not here.” At his puzzled expression she clarified by saying “I promised no sex talk in front of her.” She gestured to the rose bush.

Gibbs smile became soft as he reached over and touched one of the still green leaves. “Kelly II Abby? Why does it not surprise me you are a Little Shop of Horrors fan?”

Abby smiled at him. “You know me so well…” Then her look became soft as well. “I know from the pictures on your mantle that this rose bush was planted by Kelly. It seemed right somehow. And I always felt better after talking to her. You’re not mad?”

Gibbs stood up and pulled her up and into his arms. “Shouldn’t I be the one saying that to you?”

She smiled. “Let’s take this inside, shall we?” And she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. “I have a surprise for you.” And she dragged him into the cellar.

Gibbs looked around in shock. There were two boats in his basement instead of one.

“So I was trying to teach myself about boat building and I didn’t want to touch yours because that is like your baby so I decided to try and make my own. I hope you don’t mind that I used your tools. It was so much fun Gibbs. It was like making my own pirate ship by hand. I am thinking of calling it Wesley when it is done. What do you think?” She asked.

Gibbs ran an expert eye over the wood frame and joints. “Nice work Abs. You taught yourself all this?” She nodded. He ran his hand over the smooth planes of the hull. “You’re the first to take such an interest.”

Abby looked puzzled. “I can’t be the first person to have ever taken an interest in…”

“I didn’t any person Abs.” He went over to her and brushed some hair that had escaped her braid off of her face. And then he rested his hand on her cheek. “I meant you are the first woman I have ever loved to take an interest Abby.”

“Oh.” She said. She hesitated but had to ask. “But what about…um…I mean the boat is named...uh…”

Gibbs put one arm around Abby and let his other hand rest on his boat. “Shannon got seasick on ferry boats. Kelly…I never got the chance to find out.” He let his hand caress the planes of the unfinished frame.

Abby leaned into Gibbs and rested her head on his shoulder. Even though she felt a bit guilty, she liked the fact that she had been the only other one to take an interest.

The grumble of Gibbs stomach echoed around the basement making Abby chuckle. “Come on Gibbs you must be starving. Let me make you a sandwich or something. Or hey…we can call the gang and have a family dinner.”

Gibbs pulled her in for another hug. “Abs…no one knows I am back yet. And I would like to keep it that way for a while.”

“Wait…” she said pulling away from him. “You are back right? I mean are you not telling everyone your back because you need to be able to make a fast get away again are you? I mean I got some serious handcuffs and I am not afraid to use them Gibbs. You are not going to leave me again…” Abby said starting to break down. Suddenly she bolted up the stairs.

“Abby!” Gibbs ran after her. “Abby! Wait!” Gibbs found her standing in the living room with tears streaking down her face.

“Oh Abs…” Gibbs said, his heart breaking at the sight of her like that. He tried to touch her but she pulled away and stared at him, not saying a word.

Gibbs sat down on the couch and held his head in his hands and started talking. “Do you know why I left Abs? It wasn’t just because of what happened with that terrorist. It wasn’t just watching our own government letting those men die to save face. It was reliving that time from the Gulf. It was losing them all over again. Even when I got my memory back they were fresh on my mind. And since everyone had found out…everyone had these looks of pity and it was killing me Abby. The wounds were too fresh and everyone looked at me as if I was damaged goods…everyone but you.” He said, looking up at her.

“You’re Gibbs. You don’t need pity.” She said quietly.

He gave her a smile at that. She gave a small smile back. “I do need one thing Abby. Just one thing and I promise you I am here for good.” He said standing up and walking over to her.

She looked at him with a question in her eyes. He took her face in his hands and said “I need this Abby…I need you.” And he pressed his lips to hers.

As the kiss deepened she felt that weak in the knees feeling finally come back. Gibbs was here. He was kissing her. He wanted her. She so owed the Sisters for their prayers. She could not help the tears of relief that spilled down her cheeks as she slipped her hands through his silver hair and pulled him even closer.

Gibbs pulled back for air and was blown away by the look in Abby’s eyes. “Tell me I didn’t screw up everything Abs. Tell me I still have a chance to make you happy.” He looked at her with hope and a bit of fear.

Abby favored him with a brilliant smile before hooking her leg behind his and knocking him to the floor. Gibbs was in too much shock to fight back. She proceeded to straddle him and pin his arms with her legs. “If you even think for one minute I am letting you get away you are in for a big surprise mister. In fact, I may just have to find room in your basement for my coffin.”

Gibbs smiled and let one eyebrow go up. “I think that coffin of yours would look better in our room upstairs along with the rest of your stuff…don’t you think?”

“Ooo Gibbs…sex in a coffin…if I had known your interest…wait…our room?” she said.

Gibbs smiled. “Yup”

She squealed and went to give him a hug. He used the opportunity to hook his own legs behind her and flip her over so that he was on top and pinning her down. He gave her a look that could only be described as smoldering. It sent happy shivers down her spine. He pinned her hands above her head and used his other hand to lift her chin up to give her a kiss so mind blowing that she was very grateful for the fact she was on the floor. She would not have been able to stand up anyway.

He let go of her chin and let his hand drift down her side.” I definitely think I am going to enjoy having you all to myself. I might have to wait awhile before calling in.”

“Really…” she said a little breathlessly.

“Really…” he said with that crooked smile “I love you Abby.” He said with all seriousness

“I love you so much Jethro…and can I say, it feels downright naughty calling you Jethro.” She said with a wicked smirk.

“I can definitely handle naughty…now about those hand cuffs…” he said and they both grinned.

Gibbs was home.