You know, when you think about it, everything is going right. I had survived the plague, with some damaged lungs sure, but I had survived. That had shaken me and still did, truth be told, but to be alive is a truly awesome feeling. Kate had been a great source of strength through that trying time. Then Gibbs came and told me I wasn’t allowed to die on him. That was the best thing that the man I was in love with could tell me. Kate was like a sister to me and I loved her. We had our fights but it was more like a brother and sister fighting than lovers. I remember standing there with her blood on me, looking down at her as she laid on the roof with a bullet between her eyes.

Everything was going downhill! Before she had died I had been thinking to myself that I may have to leave NCIS. I was in love with the straightest man in the world. That, coupled with his rules on dating another agent, meant nothing was ever going to happen. I had slowly started to fall in love with him since I meet him and he offered me the job at NCIS. No-one had ever had the faith in me that I could be something good and make my self better like Gibbs did. Ever since my childhood I had decided that I wouldn’t fall in love and want a family. I had watched my family go through hell. My father never loved my mother and my mother loved my father. Yet he had threatened her, that if she left, he would hunt her down and he would also put the rest of her family through hell.

I sat up in my bed, my hands in my hair and my elbows resting on my knees. I wanted to know if I really was that bad of a son, to be treated the way I was. All the physical and verbal abuse I went through. The first relationship I saw, like most people, was my parents and that scared me more then people would think. Then I was sent to military school at twelve and disowned by my own father. My mother had committed suicide to get away from my father when I was ten. My past had made scared and I just hid a lot of my pain with the mask of happiness, being sarcastically funny and playing pranks on everyone. A lot of people thought I was a chauvinistic pig but really I wasn’t. I didn’t sleep with nearly as many women as I made everyone believe. But right now, no-one was here, so I let my tears fall.

Kate was like my mother in some ways. Like the way her heart was. We had a new agent now, her name was Ziva. She wasn’t that bad! She would make a good agent once she got used to the way we did things under Gibbs. I wiped the damn tears away. Damn it, she shouldn’t have had to die. We didn’t need Ziva! Damn it, we needed Kate. I was loosing faith and heart because of so many things. One: I couldn’t have the man I loved and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Two: getting the plague and almost dying - that had scared me. Three: losing Kate, that had almost shattered my faith and heart into pieces.

What no-one knew was that I had started packing my things. I was going to quit. I couldn’t take being in love with someone I could never have. Being at work ever day was starting to hurt. Seeing Ziva sitting at Kate’s desk and wanting so damn much to see her there instead of Ziva. I didn’t hate Ziva, I just hated it that she had to replace Kate, to get the job. I stood up, I was never going to sleep tonight. I started to pack more things, I was almost done. I had put out some applications to CSI and for a detective job. I had got offer to work in homicide in New York City and one in Vegas and either would work well. The funny thing is, I also got a job offer to do CSI in New York. From a guy named Mac Taylor, we had talked over the phone and I liked the guy.

It was best to do this now. I knew that I had got most of my stuff into the moving van and I could hook up my Mustang to the back of it. Tomorrow was Saturday, that was when I was leaving. I moved quietly through the halls and put the last few things in to the moving van. I went to check my lap top and Mac Taylor had answered me back. He told me that I could start in a week, after I had time to move up to New York City. I sat down to write my resignation letter to the boss and I emailed a version to the Director. I also wrote letters for my friends and co-workers. It basically was that I quit.

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“Dear Gibbs,

Hey, Boss, well we have had a long five years together. Thank you for the chance to work with you and thank you for believing that I could be great agent. You have been a good friend and boss. But I am sorry to say its time for me to move on. Even if you don’t accept this letter of resignation, it’s too late. Well, Boss, keep safe and take care of Tim and Ziva â€" they’re your team now.

I am sorry to leave you. I had told you I would always have your back and I lied. I guess I am weaker then you thought ‘cause here I am, running again, but this time there was a better reason for me running from a job and a city.

Tony.�

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“Dear Tim,

I know I have teased you a lot since we met, but you need to work hard to make a good senior agent. Don’t let Ziva beat you to it. Do your best and know that the boss is only hard on you ‘cause he wants you to become better at your job. Do me a favor and watch over Abby, this is going to break her heart, and she been like a sister to me.

Thanks.

Tony�

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“Dear Ziva,

I am sorry we won’t get to work together more. But do me a favor, Gibbs and Tim are your partners now - watch their backs. Don’t let anything happen to them. They will always have your back. Gibbs doesn’t leave anyone behind, that is something you can be sure of. Be good to Abby she needs a female friend at work and the rewards are beyond belief. Make sure to tease Tim a lot, it keeps him on his toes.

Tony,

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“Dear Abby,

I will miss you so much, my little sister. It’s time for me to move on! When I get a new email address, I’ll send it to you. So we can keep in touch! I expect you to keep me updated if anything happens to the team. Keep Gibbs happy, you are like a daughter to him and he loves you. I won’t make this long ‘cause I suck at long goodbyes, Abby.

Tony,

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“Dear Ducky,

You have been the father to me that any man would be proud to have had. You have been something my own father could never have been. I have asked Tim, but please keep a watch on Abby, she gets so emotional sometimes. Ducky, with Kate dying and the plague, everything is just going wrong. I can’t keep my head straight and, hell, I just can’t stay in that office anymore. There is more then just not seeing Kate in there. Watch out for Gibbs, he needs you too. You have known him longer then all of us and you seem to know what to do to calm him down.

Tony,

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I went the morgue first and left my letter on Ducky’s desk. Then I headed to the lab to leave Abby her letter. Finally, I headed up to the bull pen. I was glad the boss wasn’t staying late doing some kind of paperwork. I put the letters on the desk, leaving my cell on top of Gibbs’ letter. I went to my own desk and I took all my belongings in a box. I went home after that and I put everything in the moving van. I went upstairs to my apartment. I had left a note for the building manager and I left my door open with the key in it, as agreed. I took one last look at the place I had called home for more than five years. Then I headed out the door and started my drive up to New York City.

Ducky was the first one in at NCIS that morning. He found his letter and as he read through it, he went pale. He read it a second time. Anthony had left! He had noticed that he seemed more depressed, there was no fire in the boy’s eyes, but he didn’t expect him to do this. He picked up his cell and called Gibbs.

Gibbs: “Gibbs�

Ducky: “Jethro, Anthony has left.�

Gibbs: “What do you mean, he left, Ducky?�

Ducky: “When I got in to the morgue, there was a letter from Anthony and he says he has left. That he has left NCIS; he couldn’t work here anymore cause of Kate. There are other reasons but he doesn’t give them. I think one could be the plague had scared him. He never showed it, of course. That’s how Anthony is.�

Gibbs: “I am coming in!� He hung the phone up without a goodbye, as usual.

Ducky closed his phone and he sat down, looking at the letter. He was not sure what to do, he tried to call Tony phone but it was disconnected. He didn’t know what to do, the boy was like a son to him, just as most of the team were like his children.

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Gibbs came in and went straight to his desk. His heart dropped when he saw the letter with Tony’s cell on top. He slid his glasses on and read the letter. Tony had quit! Ducky walked into the bull pen and looked at me. I took a deep breath. “Like hell I am going to let him quit, Ducky. I am going to go to his place and talk some sense in to him.� Before Ducky could say anything, Gibbs walked to elevator and got in. When he got to ground level he got out and walked to his car and then drove over to Tony’s place at his usual breakneck speed.

He had cared for the Tony more then he should because it was one of his rules not to date a fellow agent. When he got to Tony’s place, the door was open with the key was in the lock. He walked in but the place was bare. Tony had been smart about it! He had left the notes, probably on the very day he had left D.C. I leaned against the wall and slid down to sit there and slid my hands through my hair. I finally stood up and headed to the office. It seemed he had left a letter for everyone. I am sure he left one for Abby and soon she would be storming in to the bull pen.

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Tim’s POV:
I raced in to work. I wasn’t going to be late. I hate it when I’m late, the Boss chews me out real well. When I got to my desk I saw the letter. That was Tony writing! I picked it up and read the letter and just dropped into my chair. Tony had teased me a lot but he had also been a good mentor. He had showed me the ropes and I was going to miss him. They had become friends, or so I thought.

Tony thought I could become a senior agent! He was kidding, of course! Ziva was going to beat me to that job. I looked over to his desk he had cleaned it and taken all his things, it seemed. He had asked me to take care of Abby, not sure I could do that but I would do my best because I knew she would be heart broken that Tony had left. The Boss was going to be even more of a bastard now, because all of us knew that Tony was something special to him, even if Gibbs wouldn’t admit it.

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Ziva’s POV:
I walked in and saw that Tim was looking at some piece of paper. I sat at my desk and put my things away. I instantly saw that Tony’s desk was clean and that was rare. I spotted a letter and opened it. After quickly reading it, I looked at Tim. “Tony has quit?� He just nodded his head. I looked over the letter again. Tony was a flirt and annoying but he was a good agent and to lose him was a great loss for the team.

(OOC: I am not good at doing Ziva guys, sorry.)

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Abby’s POV:
I came into my office and found the letter where Tony had left it. After reading it I started to cry, how could Tony leave us? I instantly rushed upstairs, tears running down my cheeks. I went straight to the bull pen. Just as I arrived, Gibbs came storming in. He looked at Tim. “Find Tony, now. I don’t care how, just do it!� I rushed over to him and looked him in the eyes as I poked him in the chest. “You better bring him back! He can’t leave us!� Gibbs hugged me and then looked down at me. “Then get down to the lab and try to find a way to figure out where he is, so I can go get him, Abby.�

I headed back down to my lab and started to think on how to do that. Tim came down looked at me. “Doesn’t he have a GPS on his Mustang?� I jumped up and headed to the computer and started to look for it. What was he doing in New York City? I started to do some other checking to see if he had got hired at any place. There it was! He took a job at CSI in New York. I told all this to Tim and he headed up stairs to tell Gibbs.

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OOC: Okay guys please review I am not sure if I did all the characters right. But that’s probably the last I am going to do from their points of view. I will probably keep doing Gibbs but the others I won’t do again. Please review!

I had found a apartment pretty fast. I had a lot of money saved up so I hired some movers for the day so we got it done in one day. I spent the rest of the next three days getting everything where I needed it. Most people had pictures of there family around, I had one of my mother. The rest were of the team back at NCIS! Abby was good at sneaking pictures of people and she had given me copies. There was one of Kate and Abby that I loved, that I had had blown up and framed. Then there was one of Gibbs that she had taken when he didn’t know it, so I had that one framed too. There was one of me and Tim, that was a good one, I had rabbit ears on him. I framed that one as well. There was one of Ducky, me and Abby that I had framed. Those were the pictures of my family! They were there to make me remember what a good family I had had.

I turned up at the CSI building a few days early. I headed up to Mac Taylor’s office, where I was taken by some guard. I sat down to wait. When he came in, he handed me a cup of coffee. The funny thing was he had the look of a Marine, like Gibbs did.

“So you’re ready to start work?�

I smiled at him and replied, “Yes sir! I am here and willing to start as soon as you will have me.�

He looked at me before saying, “Don’t call me sir, I work for a living, Anthony, or do you prefer DiNozzo? The name is Mac.�

Oh great! The first thing he says to me is what Gibbs said to me! I looked at him. “Tony is fine, Mac.�

He nodded to me he as handed me a badge and a gun. “I do have a question, you were an agent for NCIS. That’s a good job and good pay. Why chose to come here where the pay is less? And leaving a federal job for just a CSI?�

I looked at him. Great, he wanted to know why I quit. That was a question but I would give him the basics. “Well, Mac, it was time for me to move on from that place. I lost a partner, a very close friend as well. I was sent a letter that had white powder in it, I ended up in the hospital with the pneumonic plague.�

He looked at me. “No joke, Mac. I was pretty sick but I survived.� I had to ask this, “I guess you’re a retired Marine, right? Or Military?� He looked at me strangely, “Ex-Marine, why?� I smirked slightly, “You look like Gibbs, my boss at NCIS!�

He looked at me sharply, “Leroy Jethro Gibbs?�

I looked to him and nodded, not sure what to say to the fact that he knew Gibbs.

Mac said “We were in the same unit in Desert Storm. He was a good Gunny.�

I looked at him and nodded. “He’s still good. He’s the one that hired me after Baltimore PD. He pushed me to my limits and made me better for it.�

Mac looked to me and nodded. “Well, if Gibbs trained you, I can see I got me a good CSI.� He looked over my file. “Well, you have a good training for CSI work, bagging and tagging evidence. That’s good, I won’t have to train you in those area‘s�

I nodded to him. Just then his phone rang so he answered it.

As he hung up the phone, he stood up and said, “Well, you are with me? Let’s get to work, Tony.�

Mac watched over me like a hawk bit I had expected it. Gibbs was the same way when I started working for him. I met Detective Flack and we got along right off the bat, which was a good thing. When we got the evidence back to the lab, I met Stella. I had decided that I wasn’t going to flirt with my co workers, something that was new to me. Truth be told, Stella looked like she wouldn’t be one to put up with my flirting. Lindsey, on the other hand, might be but I wasn’t going to try. She seemed to have eyes for Danny Messer. I liked Messer, he was giving me pointers and so far he was on the mark. They bagged and tagged evidence the same we did. The only thing difference was that they didn’t send the medical examiner automatically. They put paper bags on the hands and sent the bodies to the morgue, after collecting any loose evidence from the body.

We were working a case of a young woman who had been raped and murdered. She was only about twenty three. We had been working about eight hours and didn’t look to be stopping but I was used to that. The only thing I knew I had to get used to was the machinery. I was used to Abby running all the equipment. We didn’t do the leg work as much, that was left to the detectives.

Mac walked up to me and said quietly, “Just got a call from Gibbs.� I froze and looked over to him. “He was quite mad that you quit with out any notice. In his exact words, he said he was going to come and get you the instant they finished a case.�

I grunted something and just went back to work. Mac didn’t say anything else. He just started to show me how to work the machine and run the evidence. During the lesson, I had gained a greater respect for Abby - this shit was hard!

The next three days we worked to cases and Gibbs hadn’t showed up. It seems the case they were working was big. I wasn’t allowed to work on the evidence alone until I had learned how and Mac said he was going to teach me personally. He said that if he couldn’t be present, that Stella or one of the other team would let me observe. This was a good idea, I would most likely screw up otherwise. After our second case, things slowed down a little. It had been three days and Mac took me aside started to give me fake evidence to practice on. I was learning fast although I still needed more training, but I was getting the hang of it.

Mac took me to one side, looked at me and said, “Gibbs called again. He wanted to know how you were doing. I told him he had trained you well. I think he has cooled off since you left. He said he was going to give you some time but he wants you to call someone called Abby and Ducky.�

I smirked and then nodded. “Yeah, Abby is the one that runs all our evidence and Ducky is our medical examiner.�

He nodded and then we started to do some more work. He was teaching me another new machine. I had got to grips with the DNA one wuickly - that one I could work okay now. I hadn’t been the rookie on a team in a long time. Danny had talked me in to playing hoops on Saturday with him and Don. We got along and we played all morning then at lunch we all went for Pizza.

I had called Ducky first. He tried to talk me in to coming back but when he saw he couldn't do that, he had wished me good luck where I was but he wanted to keep in touch and I would. Now Abby was trying harder and I had to tell her to stop and breathe every now and then. She told me that Gibbs was worse then normal, he missed me and wanted me back. Tim missed me as well and they all wanted me back. I had to make her see I wasn't coming back, she could come visit anytime she wanted and that I would keep in touch.

The next two months I worked hard and was learning a lot. Mac had finally let me work with some of the other team members on the team. I was a level one, basically a rookie. To be truthful, I wasn't at all concerned, my all my heart and faith were still shattered. I think the team could tell, but I was doing my work and getting good results, so they really didn't say much. I was sitting on my couch with a movie playing on the DVR. I wasn't really watching it, when there was a knock on my door. I went to answer it to find Gibbs stood there.

I stepped back to let him in. "Hey, Gibbs!" He grunted at me. I went to the kitchen to make the coffee I knew he would want and he followed me in.

His anger radiated from his voice there goes for him calming down in two months. "DiNozzo, what the hell were you thinking, leaving the team?"

I didn't look at him. I just concentrated on making his coffee. "Gibbs, how long are you in town for?" I didn't want to answer his question, damn it, and I really wasn't going to.

He took me by the shoulder turned me around and looked me straight in the eye. "I asked you a damn question, DiNozzo."

I looked at him, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to get out of this. "DiNozzo, I know you went through a lot when you got the plague and then Kate being killed. But it's not like you to run and leave your team behind."

I looked at him. "What the hell do you mean, it's not like me? I went through three different departments before I came to NCIS. Just 'cause NCIS was my longest job doesn't mean that I wouldn't run from it too." God, I went and admitted that I had run from a job.

I got a head slap for that! I had missed those but I couldn't go back. "DiNozzo, you left me with Tim who sometimes who doesn't know what the hell he is doing and a new agent to train."

I looked at him as I leaned against my kitchen counter. "Ziva is good enough to have your six, Gibbs, and she is trained in other things that will make her a good agent, once she gets a hang of doing NCIS work. I didn't leave you with out a good team. They just need a little work and you will be fine without me."

That got a growl and another head slap. "Who the hell do you think you are? To think you know what I need, DiNozzo?" I looked at him, he was right there.

I handed him a cup of coffee and took my own. We went to the living room and sat down. "You're right, Gibbs. I have no damn clue who you are. But I trust the team you have to do the job and for the job to be done right. Before Tim joined us you were already working with just two agents beside your self."

He looked over at me and snapped, "That's 'cause I had a good senior agent to help me train the rookies." I couldn't take this any more.

We had both lost our tempers through all this. "Go home, Gibbs. I am not coming back. I am learning to work as a CSI and I have been doing good there. You know me! Know that I can be hard headed! You're not my Boss now and you can't make me do shit."

I stood up. I didn't want to take this any longer because seeing him was breaking my heart. God, I still loved him. I walked to the door and opened it. "Get out, Gibbs!"

The next thing I knew, the door was closed and I was being pinned to the wall, with Gibbs kissing me and I was kissing him back just as hard. The next thing I know, we were in my room with our clothes off. I couldn't think! It was a hard and fast and, before I knew it, all over. When it was done,

I couldn't think straight. I sat up and slid my hands through my hair. "Get out, Gibbs."

I ran my hands through my hair, this was what I had always wanted! But I couldn't go back! "You were too late, Gibbs. But that is a memory I will always have now and I don't regret that. But I can't go back and there no way in hell you're going to make me." My wounds from Kate being shot and getting that sick with the plague were still too fresh in my mind.

He didn't say a word. I went to take a shower and when I came out he was gone. I hoped to god that he had gone back home. I went to work the next day. I had made a call on Monday, two days after it all happened, and Abby told me that Gibbs was back at work and he seemed a bit off. I told her I had to go to work because I didn't want to answer her questions.

I had to go to work cause I didn't want to answer her questions.

I sat down at my desk and looked at Tim and Ziva. We were working cold cases. I had lost my temper with Tony! Then I kissed him, we had ended up making love and that was something I would never forget. What had got me the most was that he told me I was too late! Did that mean he cared about me the way I had cared about him all this time? I was a idiot but I wasn't going to give up on getting him back here! The team needed him and I needed him, damn it. I knew that while I worked on getting him back, Mac would take care of him. He was a good man and a good friend. He kept me up-to-date about Tony and how he was learning fast and was making a good CSI. I didn't doubt that he was doing good work and learning fast, he had done the same for me.

I don't know what to do. I may not get him back to NCIS but I was going to visit him every weekend I had off to try and work out things between us. I know this would take a long while but he was worth it! I still wanted Tony as a friend, if nothing else, I wanted that. Besides Kate dying, I think I screwed some things up and I needed to fix them with him. He had been with me for five years and during those five years we had become close. He wasn't here working for me but I was glad he was working for a good team leader. And from what Mac told me, he was gaining some faith in his work again. I had seen after Kate and the plague that he had lost that, but I didn't know how to fix it. I've never been good with words. Just ask my ex-wives! Maybe, he was where he needed to be, to get that faith back. Maybe, after he got his faith back he would come home.

Right, that part is decided! I would stop pushing him to come back. I would just go and try to be a friend. He had made it clear that he didn't regret that night we made love and neither did I. I would make sure he knew that and that I wanted to be friends. Maybe we could try take things slow but I wasn't going to push for anything right know. For now, I was going to work on us just being friends. It was a bit insane to drive to New York City and back on the weekends I wasn't working a case but it was worth to stay friends with Tony.

About two weeks after Gibbs' first visit, he was back. He looked at me and said, "Tony, I want to be friends and if you're better off here in New York City then I am not going to push you to come home!"

I froze. He seemed serious about this so I let him in. I went to the kitchen with him following.

He watched me for a while as I started to make coffee. "Tony, I don't regret that night that we shared either. I am going to visit as often as I can when I have a weekend off, if you agree. I want to at least stay friends. I don't want to lose the friendship we had from those five years of working together. At least give me that Tony." He sat down at the kitchen table.

I sat down, sitting down two cups of coffee. We both took a sip, before I carefully said, "We can try, Gibbs. That's all I can give you, for now."

He nodded slightly and leaned back on his chair. "That's all I am asking for Tony."

I nodded back and relaxed a little. He asked me how work was going, so I told him that I was learning to do what Abby did for us at NCIS.

He nodded and said, "Guess that's a bit of a challenge but you always worked best when challenged to do something."

I laughed a little, we talked for a little while. Then a call came in, I answered "DiNozzo." I listened and grunted and I hung up. I stood up grabbed my gun and badge. "Mac needs me on a scene and I gotta go. The spare bedroom has a bed and it's made. Get some rest, Gibbs." I headed out with a goodbye from him.

Don was picking me up since the case was close and he was the lead detective. I grabbed my kit from by the door and headed out to wait for Don. As we headed to the scene I thought that maybe this would turn out okay, being friends with Gibbs. There was a chance it could be more than that, it may be hard though due to the fact we lived about eight hours away from each other. The problem was, there was going to be times I worked the weekend and he would be able to spend time with me and vice versa. Don and I got to the scene and I set my mind to work. We worked the scene, it took the whole team. There were five dead and it looked pretty bad.

I was still at work at about 0200 so I had called Gibbs. I remembered his cell phone number after all this time! I let him know we had a big case and there wasn't much chance we would have any time to spend together. He let me know that for now that was okay 'cause he had said what he needed to and he was going to give me time to think it over. He said he was headed home. I kind of regretted that 'cause I would have loved to spend some time with him. The next month we kept in touch, it seems we were both real busy. So I did what I thought was best and told Gibbs that we should just keep it to talking on the phone, he shouldn't come visit anymore right now. Whenever one of us got a vacation, we would travel to see each other 'cause that seemed like a good idea. When he said that he agreed it didn't really sound like he liked the idea but he seemed to be wanting to give me space as well.

I had been with the CSI, here in New York City, for about three and a half months and the team was starting to trust me and have faith in me. I had started to trust the team and found out they were just as good at having each others backs as NCIS was and I was glad for that. Something wasn't right though! For the past week I had been throwing up every morning, then feeling fine afterwards and I was able to get to work to do my job. But today was different! We were going into a scene; it was me, Mac and Don. When all of a sudden I ran out and found my self kneeling down before a bush and throwing up. Mac and Don came out, I guess they may have thought I was hurt. "Sorry, Mac!" He nodded at me and I went to stand up but everything went black and I passed out.

When I woke up I was in the damn hospital, the one place I hated. Mac told me that he had promised Gibbs that if I showed any signs of being sick, he would get me to the hospital fast 'cause of the plague.

To my surprise Brad came in! I smirked and leaned back away from him. "Tony. Man, can't believe you transferred over here."

I shrugged at him and replied, "Long story, man." Something in his face told me something was up. "Spill it, Brad. What do I have know?"

He sat down on the bed and looked me in the eyes. "Tony, you're pregnant."

I looked at him and laughed. "Good one, that just couldn't happen to me as well."

He looked at me, he looked dead serious. "Tony, you are pregnant. I wish it was a joke, believe me, 'cause with your lungs we have to be careful."

When he mentioned my lungs I knew he was serious. "Gibbs is waiting on my report on how you are doing."

I grunted, yeah, I figured Mac had probably called Gibbs. "Well tell him I just have a stomach bug then, I don't want him knowing this."

He looked to me and nodded. "He is still your next of kin you know that right?"

I nodded, I hadn't changed it. "Just tell him something other then this, please?"

He nodded. "You are still my patient, Tony, and you have a right to withhold information on your health, even from your next of kin."

I wanted to be honest, maybe I would feel better telling someone. "Gibbs is the last person I slept with Brad."

He looked a little shocked. "Damn, Tony, that's big." I nodded at him. "Okay, we're keeping you overnight to get some tests so I can see exactly where your health is at."

I nodded, I'd expected as much to happen. He said his goodbyes and headed out. I couldn't help it but I fell asleep.

Mac came in early the next morning.

"So, have they figured out what's wrong, Tony?" I took a deep breath, Brad looked to me.

"You promise not to tell Gibbs?" I almost sounded like a child, begging not to get in to trouble. Mac looked at me, puzzled.

"Yes, of course. I only report to him on how well you're doing at work." I nodded and I looked up at Brad.

"Umm, can you tell him for me? Hell, I don't think he'll believe me!" Mac looked at me kind of funny at that, then as Brad started to tell him my news, I think he got why I didn't want to tell him! He looked at me and I lowered my head, running my hands through my hair. Brad stood up and left. Great. Thanks, Brad, for leaving me alone. Mac walked over and sat on the bed, he cupped my chin and looked me in the eyes.

"Gibbs?" I nodded and sighed heavily.

"He was over about two months ago and we got into a fight about me coming back and, well, he kissed me and we ended up in bed. Afterwards, I told him that he was too late."

Mac had become a father figure in the last three months. Since I started I think he noticed that I came to him broken. So naturally, I wanted to tell him. I wanted someone to know I looked to him.

"Can we keep this from the team, right now? I don't think I am ready to deal with it. Hell, I just found out and I am not dealing too well." Mac laughed quietly and nodded.

"Got my word, Tony, but when you get to four or five months, you're going on restricted duties. If your doctor says you have to sooner, then you're going to have to. Understand? That basically means you will be doing paperwork and evidence at the lab." I nodded, I'd expected something like this. I leant back again.

"Guess I should have read the part about pregnancy on the job, huh?" I said with a joking tone. "Mac chuckled at me and shook his head. He stood up and tossed me some clothes.

"Get dressed." He went to look out the window. "You are going to tell Gibbs, aren't you? You told me he is trying to be friends with you now, right?" I slid my pants on.

"Yeah, he wants to keep some contact with me 'cause we have a history, so he wants to be friends. He promised not to push me to come back." Mac nodded and he turned around.

"I think he figured that, if he pushes you too much, you will just run again, to some place he can't find you. So he doesn't want to lose you completely." I nodded. I didn't want that either but if I am pushed too much, I do run.

"Yeah, I think he sees that. I mean, I'm not a coward and it's rare someone can push me to do something like that. But I think he sees that things are a little different with this situation." I slid my shirt on and sat on the bed, putting my socks and shoes on, while we continued discussing the situation.

"We need to stop at a pharmacy, Tony?" I nodded, pleased that Mac had gotten me the prescription for pre-natal vitamins and the morning sickness pills.

We stood in the pharmacy, waiting for the prescriptions. Mac didn't talk and I had so much to think about. I think he saw that, but after a bit he spoke.

"Tony, you're part of my team now and I am here for you. When you're ready to tell the rest, you know they will be there for you, too. Now, I am sure that Danny and Don will tease you some, but they have become friends just like the rest of us." I nodded and looked at him as he smiled at me.

"Yeah, I know, Mac. And that means a lot, that I have friends here." I don't thing I'll ever be calling anyone "Boss", ever again. That right was reserved for Gibbs. Was there times when I thought I was going to go back to NCIS and D.C.? Yeah. I think Mac and the team knew there was a possibility of that as well. But for now, I really didn't want to. I don't see myself going back for a long while, if ever. Even if I am carrying Gibbs' child and there's a small chance that there could be something between us. I had told Gibbs that he was too late. What I'd really meant to say was that I couldn't handle a relationship with him right then.

"You know, when you tell Gibbs, I don't think he's going to be mad at you, Tony. Don't be scared of that fact!"

The creepy thing about Mac was that he had, in common with Gibbs, the ability to read my mind! I guess it wasn't all that creepy! It was a comfort, in a strange way, 'cause he made me talk when I needed to and that was a good thing.

"I don't know about that. I think that he's going to want to kill me." Mac laughed and leaned back a little.

"Nah, I have known Gibbs a long time and ever since he lost Shannon and Kelly, I think he wished for a family. That's why all three marriages happened, he was trying to replace Shannon. He had loved her so much, she was a sweet woman." I froze

"Wait! Back up, there! The boss was married before those three wives?" Mac looked to me.

"Guess he didn't tell you about when he was in Desert Storm? He had been married and had the cutest little girl, Kelly. Shannon witnessed a crime and she was going to testify. She had an NCIS agent watching over her. When they were out driving one day, the agent was shot and killed, the car was crashed, killing Shannon and Kelly."

I looked at him, thinking back. "That could explain a lot about Gibbs. I mean, sometimes when we had a case with a child where we had to watch them, I'd see something in Gibbs' eyes and I always wondered why he was so good with babies!" Mac nodded, we got my prescriptions and headed back to the car. We didn't say anymore on the subject. There wasn't anymore to say.

"Hey, Mac. Can I go to work today?" He looked to me out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, sure, but take your pills and if you feel dizzy, I want you to sit down. If any of the team ask what you're doing, you tell them that I gave you orders to take it easy if you got dizzy." I nodded. They would ask me questions. I knew it, truth be told, I think I could tell Stella and Hawk. Danny and Don were another story! I didn't think they would hate me or stay away from me, just, God, they were going to tease me to hell and back

I was about nine weeks pregnant now and the dizziness was about my only problem. The pills helped cure the nausea. Brad was having me come in every two weeks, to check on me 'cause of the fact that my lungs were not all that healthy to start with and he wanted to make sure that the baby is okay. To top it off, he was doing this all pro bono. He was co-working with another doctor that dealt with pregnancy. I had told Hawk. I had decided to give him the news 'cause if I was back at NCIS, I would have told Ducky, in case something happened at work. The fact was that I didn't trust a lot of doctors, it was down to four now. Sid was odd but he knew what he was doing. When one of us was hurt on a case he was on with us, he made sure we were okay, he went doctor on us. Then there was Ducky, I trusted him. He had proven himself to me in the five years I'd known him.

Then there was Brad, who was actually the only one that worked with living people! He made me feel comfortable when I was sick with the plague. He didn't sugar coat anything, trying to make it easer for me to hear and I appreciated that. It had been a week since I found out and last night, I told Stella on a case 'cause I had gotten real dizzy. Stella is our mother hen. She was shocked but took it in her stride. Danny was on the case with us, so she had someone take me back to the office and she had called Mac. Mac had me lay down on the couch in his office and told me to rest some. When I awoke, I went straight back to work. Danny was worried but he was like me, he joked his way around and Don was with us. I grunted to myself and, taking a deep breath, thought here goes nothing. I told them that I was pregnant and I wasn't kidding! I even showed them the ultrasound. I was right, I got teased but they were not as hard as I thought they would be.

Well the whole team were working on a case when I head it!

"TONY!" Everyone turned with me to see a bouncing, pigtailed goth who ran right into my arms, pinning me to the wall! I grunted at her urgently.

"Abby, can't breathe." She stepped back, the biggest smile I'd ever seen on her face. The team was a bit shocked. "Abby, how the hell did you get in here?" She flashed her NCIS id at me. I grunted and looked at her before reaching out to kiss her cheek.

"I got vacation time and told Gibbs I was coming to check on you and spend some time with you." I took out a card and wrote on the back and handed her a key.

"Go get your self settled in my spare room and explore New York City. When I get off, I'll let you know and we'll go get pizza. Then we'll go see a new movie, how's that sound?" She bounced over, kissed me and was off like the wind. Danny looked at me.

"What the hell is she on?" I laughed as leaned against the wall.

"Abby is full of energy all the time. She really likes caffeine a lot!"

Abby had been there for a week. We had talked about how the team was doing. She told me that Ziva was finally getting the hang of things. Tim was getting a little better, he was working his hardest. The team wasn't doing as well as they could, what with being without me. I expected to hear that from her! It was her last night with me when I decided she had to know!

"Abby, I am pregnant." I wasn't going to tell her who the father was. She looked at me, grinning.

"I am going to be an aunty?" I nodded and she hugged me, then she reached over and patted my belly.

"But you can't tell anyone and I mean, no-one, Abby, back home!" She nodded. She was good at keeping secrets when she needed to be and she is about the only one that could keep them from Gibbs! We spent the evening watching a movie. After, she made me go to bed, she said that me and baby needed rest. The next morning she left, kissing me and my stomach, which made me laugh softly. She was happy to know that the team was as much a family as the one back home, maybe not as close, but they were there, supporting me and that made her feel happy.

I slid my hands through my hair. It had been another week and I was now ten weeks along. The doctor said the baby was doing fine and I had finally accepted that I was carrying a child and was going to be a parent. I was starting to want this, knowing my child was okay was great. Brad wanted to go over how this could be dangerous for me, to carry the child full term, that my lungs may not be able to take it. I cut him off. I told him that I was going to keep my child and I wanted to keep the child. I wanted to be a dad. This coming from the man that had never wanted to get married or have children! Here I was, with one growing inside me. Like hell I was giving this feeling of being a parent up. It now meant the world to me.

Well, the nausea was officially over. I was at another check up with Brad and the baby doctor. Stella had offered to join me on these meetings so I didn't have to be alone. Brad took my vitals, he looked a little worried.

"Tony, have you been coughing or anything." Great, that's when the coughing fit hit me! I leaned back a little.

"I got caught in the rain, walking home. Just a cold, Brad." He gave me a look and I grunted unhappily.

"You're staying in the hospital. We can run some tests and see if we need to start pumping you full of meds to stop this cold, as you call it, before it gets worse! Remember coughing up blood and coughing when it hurt? You seriously want that again, DiNozzo?" I looked at him and mumbled my reply.

"Fine, I'll stay in the damn hospital."

I looked at Stella. "Do me a favor? Get a hold of Mac, tell him I won't be coming in for a few days." Stella looked to me.

"You sure you don't want me to stay?" I shook my head at her.

"Mac doesn't need to be two men down, one's bad enough, go on." She nodded and headed out just as Brad got me in my own room. I laid down and slid my hands through my hair. I refused all drugs until the tests were done. I let myself fall asleep.

(Dream)

I was sitting in my old desk at NCIS, across from me was Kate. "You're dead!" I said. She smirked at me as she leaned back in her chair.

"That I am, but you seem to need some advice. You're not letting me go and you've sure as hell got something important that you need to tell Gibbs." I looked at her and slid my hands through my hair.

"Kate, it's hard." Kate looked at me, relentless as ever.

"Even if you stay in New York City, Gibbs cares about and he needs to be there for his child as much as you do." She smirked at me. "Oh, and Tony, do me a favor and stop harassing females." I smirked.

I woke up to find Gibbs beside me. I ran my hands through my hair, then I sat up, pushed the covers down. He went to stop me so I shoved his hands off.

"Not my boss, anymore." He looked at me, puzzled.

"Tony, what the hell is wrong with you?" Brad came in looked at me.

"Test results are okay, Tony, just a normal cold." I looked at him and sat up.

"Tony, what the hell are you hiding from me?" I stood up and grabbed my clothes.

"Brad, he wants to know, so tell him." I moved to the bathroom and started to take a shower. I ran my fingers threw my hair, leaning my head against the wall.

When I came out Gibbs was sitting on the bed.

"Were you ever going to tell me, Tony?" I walked to the bedside table, put my badge and gun in the drawer.

"I'll call you when the child is born." He stood up and looked over at me.

"Tony!" I looked back at him.

"Gibbs, I'm pregnant with your kid. We're not a couple. You were my boss, we had a memorable night together and now I have an even better reason to never forget. Hey, I got what I always wanted, once! I knew that even if it was to happen, it wouldn't last." I slid my hands over my damp hair and leaned against the wall. I saw a look of pain in his eyes.

I took a deep breath, "Gibbs, damn it, do you know how much you mean to me? Do you know what I went through, being in the office? You're the one that said not to date other agents. Then Kate died and believe me, the nightmares are horrible. Being in that damn office, seeing another agent at her desk! Don't tell me that shit didn't hurt you. I can't take this shit anymore, Gibbs! Everything hurt when I was there. I was loosing my faith in myself and my heart."

I shivered, damn hormones! As I started to cry, he pulled me, wordlessly, in to his arms. I held on to him. This was the one thing I had been wanting since I got the plague, then Kate's death! I just needed to be held.

His finger slid under my shirt, stroking my stomach.

"I'm going to be a dad again. That scares the shit out of me." I moved back a little and sat down on the bed, putting my socks and shoes on again.

"When were you a father?" He told me about Shannon and Kelly. I looked at him, no wonder he was the way he was! I remember cases where he was so good with kids. He sat down next to me, he touched my stomach, he seemed to be mesmerized by it. I let him. He leant over and kissed me and I let myself kiss him back, my hands sliding down his cheek softly. He pulled slowly.

"I still want to be close, mostly now because of the child." I touched his chest.

"Okay." I didn't know what else to say, I can tell he wanted this kid.

It had been about two months and it was time to get an ultrasound done and Gibbs was there to be with me. I had decided on something, I was going to tell Gibbs something. We had become good friends, he had come up for two weekends to just sit and talk. Amazingly, we had a good time. Well, other than I was still in love with him, but I had come to some conclusions. He had mentioned that I could move back and live with him so we could raise the child together. He had said it like he wasn't necessarily looking for me to share his bed.

They slid the gel on my stomach and I shivered, it was so cold! I had taken my shirt off and pulled my pants down far enough so the doctor could move the scanner. I looked at the screen and I could feel Gibbs squeezing my hand. I could hear the heart beats - I froze.

"Doc, are there two heart beats?" The doctor nodded as he ran it over my stomach.

"Well, congratulations, you have twins. Would you like to know the sex of each baby?" I nodded, we had talked about this for a month, we wanted to know the sex of the babies. The doctor smiled as he started to check.

"Well, it looks like you have a boy and a girl, one of each. I'll let you two talk." He handed me some paper towel to wipe my stomach clean and he headed out. Jethro just stared at the screen.

"Tony, two of them! Can you believe that? I mean, I know it happens, just, damn, a boy and a girl!" He was shocked and so was I. He helped me sit up and I slid down off the table and pulled my sweats up and slipped the shirt back on.

"You know how you offered for me to live with you?" He looked to me.

"Yeah, I remember and I still want you to, so we can raise the twins together and I can watch them grow up. I want to be a father again. I may be scared but they are mine." His fingers slid over my stomach and I looked at him.

"Okay, these are my conditions. I don't want to work until the twins are five and going to school. I don't want to put them through daycare, I want to show them love 24/7, until they start school. Then I'll get a part time job so I can be with them after school." Gibbs nodded, he was still caressing my swollen belly.

"I agree, I want the kids to be with the one of us until they start school. You've already talk to Mac?" I nodded.

"Yeah, and said my goodbyes. All my things are packed and ready to send to your house." Gibbs laughed.

"So, you knew I was going to say yes?" I nodded and slid on my hoody, one of the few that still fit me. We left the doctors office, still talking.

"Talked to the doctor before, there's one back in D.C. that he had asked to see me and I already told Brad. He needs to meet me in a few days." Gibbs didn't speed like a bat out of hell with me in the car and I really had to thank him for that some day because his usual driving would probably have me throwing up while we drove back to D.C. "Since tomorrow is Saturday, do you mind if we call the team, Abby and Ducky over? I want to tell the team and Ducky, unless you told him already?" He nodded as he drove.

"Nope, I talked to Mac a few times to make sure you were being safe enough at work, that's it. But the team are family to us and I think it's a good idea to tell them about the twins. Does Abby know who the father is?" I shook my head as I looked at him.

"Didn't want to tell her 'cause I was scared she was going to get on to you. It was my choice for us not to be in a relationship, and you know Abby…" He nodded and kept driving.

When we got to his place some of the boxes were on his porch waiting for us, already dropped off by UPS. Gibbs wouldn't let me lift anything but the small suitcase I had with me. He put the boxes in the spare bedroom. I walked into the other guest room that was now the nursery. The crib itself was beautiful, bigger then most so it would work for twins. I ran my fingers over the rosewood.

"It was Kelly's, along with the rest of the furniture. I never got rid of it, couldn't, but now I have a reason for keeping it around." I turned around and looked at him a little stunned.

"Are you sure you want to use Kelly baby furniture? I mean we could get some new stuff. These were your daughter's things." He smiled and walked over and slid his finger along the head of the crib.

"I think Kelly would want her little brother and sister to have a good crib and the best furniture." I nodded to him and stood there looking it all over. Then I moved to my room and started to unpack my things and put them away where they needed to go. Gibbs came in and asked me where to put things and he helped me get the work done faster. When I was done, I laid down on the bed.

"I need a nap, I feel drained." Gibbs nodded and he closed the door as he went out. I fell into a deep sleep, under the covers. When I woke up I came downstairs and went to the kitchen to get myself a glass of milk. I rubbed my stomach, they moved around and I knew the real kicking would start in a month or so. Truth is, I'd been worried about feeling one kick me in the ribs and now I was going to feel two kicking my ribs!

"You two had better not beat the hell out of my ribs." Gibbs walked in and leaned against the counter.

"No luck there, Tony. I am sure you're going to get a good kicking every day once you get about five or six months. They're going to be cramped in there." I took his hand and placed it on the spots where they were moving. His face lit up as he grinned. "So, what about names? Do you have any ideas?" I nodded and looked at him.

"Jade Catlin Gibbs and Jasper Mac Gibbs. I thought for our little girl a good namesake would be Kate, and I want to make Mac the godfather of the twins. He's been there for me when I was too scared to tell you and he made sure that I was okay. He was there, supporting me, all the way." Gibbs nodded some.

"I like Jasmine over Jade, what do you think? Jasmine and Jasper sound like something twins should be named?" I thought it over and nodded.

"Yeah, I like that better. I think that the names are sorted now. Those will fit them well."

His hands slid along my stomach and laughed.

"They're moving a lot today, means they're getting bigger and can move their bodies better."

If there were people around and they didn't know that I was pregnant, they would think that Gibbs was obsessed with my stomach.

"When the team, Abby & Ducky come over tomorrow, hands off my stomach until we tell them. They're going to think you've got a tummy fetish." He laughed, a full hearted laugh like I'd rarely heard from him before, and it was beautiful and infectious, so I started to laugh along with him. He leant against the counter.

"Tony, I love you." He looked at me, his eyes wide. "Shit Tony… I, shit"

I looked at him, I was a bit shocked.

"Do you love me, Jethro?" He walked over and stroked my face before he kissed me, oh so slowly.

"More then I ever thought I could or would! It's hard not to have you around, when you lived up there it was like my heart was missing something all the time." I looked at him and pulled him in to kiss him slowly. Whispering as I did.

"I love you too, Jethro."

He led me to his bedroom where we made love. Afterwards, we just laid there, talking. I had decided to be with Jethro, not only for my children but for myself. He said he loved me and it was rare that he said something that he didn't mean. This is how I wanted our family to be: me and Jethro a couple. We'll raise our twins together and live together for the rest of our lives. It wouldn't always be easy but we could do it.

~Finished~