“Hey McScribe,” Tony shouted as he entered the bullpen Monday morning, “Following you on Twitter, and your website.”
“Not on twitter.” Tim replied staring at his screen.
“No?…..so who is Timmygem? Or are you Gemtim? Yep got two, and your own website? Gemcity.com? I‘m down for alerts.”
“Yes Tony, the country needs lerts, and I would say more Gremtim.” Ziva replied laughing.
“Very funny my little Jewish palm tree. No down for alerts from our famous author here on his website gemcity.com.” Tony now replied.
“I am not on twitter, and I do not have a website.” Tim now answered looking at his two co-workers.
“Oh yeh, McTweeter……..what’s this then.” throwing a sheet of paper on the desk infront of Tim.
“I…………I…….know nothing of this.” as Tim sat shell-shocked.
“McGee……..my office now.” Agent Gibbs shouted as he downed the stairs and headed for the elevator.
“Boss?” as Tim followed.
Gibbs flicked the switch in the elevator to stop.
“Twitter?”
“Sorry Boss. I don’t understand” Tim questioned, wondering where this was leading.
“Twitter……..I don’t understand either but Leon’s daughter is following you.”
“As in stalking?”
“If you say so McGee……….but twitter? Explain. twittering”
“It’s actually tweeting, Boss,” Tim replied, “But I’ll explain when you let me out of here.”
As they exited the elevator Abby ran over to Tim, and hugged his so hard he thought his breakfast was going to see the light of day again.
“Timmygem,” she oozed, “You never told me.”
“Told you what?” Tim asked getting redder and redder.
“You twit?”
“She says, Tim is a twit?” Ziva questioned, “This language is very strange.”
“No, I mean he tweets.”
“Twit, tweet? I thought it was birds that tweeted,” Gibbs asked getting angry.
“Twit, to who?” Tony replied laughing, “This is so funny.”
“So now he is making out to be an owl?” Ziva asked Gibbs, shrugging her shoulders.
“I would have thought it was, twit to whom, Anthony, but yes very amusing. It was Mr Palmer here who told me about your website. Not that I would look at it, but he insisted.”
“Oh you are so famous. I haven’t been through it all yet. It says in the small print, under construction.” Jimmy replied smiling.
“Once and for all, I do not have a website and I do not tweet.” Tim shouted.
****
That evening Tim, just had to look at the website. He didn’t have a twitter account, but thought he’d look in to that as well, and see who was taking his name in vain. The twitter account was boring, really. No picture, just a mock up of a detective, the raincoat collar turned up, the eyes. Yes they could be his eyes. This was interesting. He went on to read the entries. Now this was scary. It was what he had done last week. The weekend, nothing much, “updated my website.” “Thank you for reading.” “new book due sometime next year.” He read the replies, the tweets. “Go yoursel big man. Donny from Edinburgh” Was this Duks. “Love you Thom. Amy.” and the most frightening of all, “Hey bros why you not tell me? Sarah”
This was all he needed. He had to tell his sister he didn’t have a twitter account. But maybe, what was he good at, hacking, cyber crimes. This was right up his street. He opened an account. Under the name of “Rob Roy McGregor.” Now that should get the person who started this site interested. He turned his sights to the website, gemcity.com.
****
He could only look in bewilderment.

WIN A DATE WITH THOM E. GEMCITY

He started to read.. A day and NIGHT. With himself. No his alter ego. He read on. No he didn’t remember having any specially marked copies of Rock Hollow. Follow the instructions on the website. He would. The winner chosen at random, could be interesting. He read the small print:- *Activities during the day and night are restricted to legal, non-sexual activities. No boats, cats, or heights allowed. He thought Tony. Yes, had to be Tony. And the very small print:-You must be a U.S. citizen and at least 18 years of age to be eligible. Limit one entry per person. He thought Ziva, no he thought Tony.
This was going to be tricky.
****
Tuesday morning say Tim bleary eyed. He entered the bullpen , he had considered wearing shades, but that would have been too much. He sat at his desk and switched on the computer.
“Bit tired looking McOwlet?” Tony sneered as he came in, “Had a look at your website and your twittering accounts?”
“Actually I did. And it is quite interesting, my website. I seem to be running a competition. For a day and night with myself.” Tim answered.
“Yes said that too, was thinking of entering, but then I need inside information on your book and the promotion code.” Tony replied.
“Could do with the info myself.” Gibbs shouted at the pair, “But in the meantime either of you two muppits got anything on our body that has been lying in autopsy and where is David?”
“I am here and I was wondering if we should ask Susan for some help?” Ziva replied now entering the conversation.
“How can Ms Grady help us if we do not know the promotional code…….Unless of course, McGee can’t lie……….and then we will know.”
“Unless we know who, and why our body was murdered, there will be no dates with McGee.” Gibbs snapped.
Something clicked in Tim’s head. He had to try when he got home.
****
Tim switched on the computer and went straight to his twitter account. Yep another entry, from L.J.Tibbs, “caught you napping today”. One from Dallas Texas, “Down here the sun always shines” and the final one the Jumper,“ gonna cosy up to you soon I hope.”
He checked out the Website. There was something not quite right. He smiled. He had seen this programme before. He just had an inkling. He typed in a code. No response. Another. Access denied. Yes, he was on the right track. He tried again, and again. It was going to be a long night…………..no it just blinked into activity. “Hello Thom E. Gemcity. Welcome to the real world.”
Tim smiled a Gibbs sly smile. Oh yes Susan was going to be fun to deal with, as was Andy Pringle (the Jumper) and Dallas (Texas). Yes his cyber crime friends.
****

Tim worked through he night. He managed to fix a couple of bugs, and placed a message on the site.
“I know the answer, I have the code.”
He then went back to twitter. He had found Abby, and was following her.
****
Wednesday morning saw Tim enter the bullpen, with a smile on his face.
“Morning,” he shouted across at Ziva, “And how are you today?”
“I am very well thank you. But why are you so jumpy?” she replied.
“I think the word is bouncy. And yes I am. I have won myself a date with myself so all is well.” Tim replied.
“How can you have won the date with yourself?” Tony enquired, having been to the head. Ziva looked at his trousers and coughed.
“Oopps sorry,” as he zipped up, “I mean how can you have won if there is no competition?”
“I know who set it up. And I think I know how we can prove. But my first problem is to ask Gibbs something.” Tim realised.
“Ask me what, McGee?” Gibbs questioned rounding the partition, his coffee in his hand. He sat at his desk, and stared at Tim.
“I want you to arrange polygraphs. For us.”
“You jest McGee.” Tony whispered.
“Explain McGee?” Gibbs asked smiling.
****
They sat in the office of Susan Grady. Gibbs had sought permission from the Director.
“If it means getting any work done here, then yes, and it will stop my daughter and her mother, yes my wife, who is carrying on like a teenager.”
“So Ms Grady, we need to find out if your equipment is working. Would you like to prove to us, and take the first questions?“ Vance asked.
“But of course. But I still don’t know what this is all about.” Susan answered.
“Ms Grady?” Tim started to say.
“Yes,” she replied. “But you know this.” the machine whirled and the line moved.
“She’s right Tim.” Abby replied.
“Course I’m right. What is this leading too?” Susan enquired.
“Do you know of this competition on the website of Thom E. Gemcity?” Tim questioned.
“No.” Susan lied, the machine knew. Gibbs smiled.
“No? What if I said the one where Pringle, and Dallas, made up the competition.” Tim replied.
“What competition would that be?” Susan muttered.
“Not know? The one where the winner gets a day and a night with Thom E Gemcity. Coming back to you now?”
“No.” the machine whirled.
“May I remind you Ms Grady,” Tim carried on in his best interrogative voice, “When you gave me the second polygraph test. You asked about my person life?”
“Yes and no,” Susan replied, the machine went daft.
“May I put it to you Ms Grady,” Tim now questioned, “That you and my ex-cyber co-workers, fabricated this website, so you may have your wish. Time with me?”
“Think McGee is getting carried away with his Perry Mason interrogation.” Tony whispered to Gibbs.
“Personally I’m finding it fun.” Gibbs answered.
“Yes..no…….” as Susan untangled herself from the wires, and the machine whirled on, “Yes I wanted a date with you, and the only way I could think of was if I got help. The boys were only too pleased to assist. So what do I do now?” as she looked at Tim, with pleading eyes.
“Well Ms Grady, as you have admitted your involvement in this case I would ask you to close the site, and if you would ask the boys to clear down my unofficial twitter account. I will ask you this? Would you care to have dinner with me Friday night. And only dinner Susan.” Tim now asked of her. Susan blushed and nodded, “Thank you Tim. That would be lovely.”
“So alls well that ends well. But McGee, about this other twitter account?” Tony now asked.
“And which one will that be Tony?” as Tim smiled, and offered Susan his arm.