Tony DiNozzo was lying on the cold concrete floor of an isolated hangar.

His thoughts clouded by the gunshot wound in his abdomen, he struggled to maintain consciousness. Although getting shot wasn’t one of Tony’s hobbies, he didn’t bother to think about it much.

He felt cold and he knew his control over the situation was slipping but still, one particular thought kept coming back to his attention. ‘Gibbs is going to KILL me for getting shot…again.’

“Stay with me, Tony!�, McGee yelled as the ambulance’s sirens pushed all of his other thoughts to the background. “Tell… Gibbs…..sorry�, Tony murmured as he was hastily shoved on a brancard and put into the ambulance. Then his eyelids became too heavy and he let them slip closed.


Gibbs left Ziva and McGee behind at the hospital, they would wait for the doctor to come out of Tony’s surgery and brief them.

He couldn’t stay there, he couldn’t fall apart in front of his team. He let out a chocked gasp for breath as he stumbled across the parking lot towards his car.

As soon as he had reached it, he nearly pulled the handle off the door when he got in. He only let himself lose control for a second, as he punched the dashboard and a deafening roar came from his very core. His jaw clenched and he gathered back his self-control.

When he arrived back at the navy yard to pick up Abby, he didn’t get out of the car for a moment. He sighed and rubbed his hands against his eyes in a desperate attempt to ban the thought of Tony out of his mind.

Couldn’t he stay out of danger for once? For god’s sake, Gibbs felt like he was always worrying about him. He was afraid his second in command would grow bald if he kept slapping him on the back of his head to keep from shouting that he had to be more careful.

Then again, Gibbs shouting wasn’t very rare but he didn’t trust himself with his own feelings. In truth, he wanted to tie Tony to his bed and never let him endanger himself again.

The thought alone was so absurd that he let out a rough laugh. Tony would probably choose getting shot over the things that Gibbs wanted to do to him.

Gibbs shook his head and blinked his eyes rapidly to regain his focus. The others would call when they had news from Tony and in the mean time he would keep Abby from freaking out and scaring people in the hospital.

He got out of his car and walked towards the large building that had become his second home. After having made a small detour to fetch Abby’s bribe, he stood in the elevator as it descended.

She was dancing as usual, losing herself in what she called ‘music’. Gibbs grinned as he walked towards her, silent as a predator stalking its prey. When he was so close behind her that he almost touched her, he spoke softly in her ear.

“Nice moves.� Abby shrieked and almost made a perfect pirouette from spinning around so fast. She stomped his arm and pretended to look upset.

“Goddamned Gibbs, one of these days I’m going to hide your shoes and replace them with tap dance shoes! But I’m willing to forgive you like I always do because you got me Caf!Pow. What’s up, do we have a case? Because I wouldn’t think we did as I haven’t gotten any evidence but then again, Bert could’ve hidden it-�

“Abs…� Gibbs said impatiently. For a moment, he was about to ask her why in god’s name a farting hippo could hide evidence but fortunately he was able to swallow the words before they were out. “No case. Wanna grab lunch?�

Abby followed him happily but then she froze in the doorway. Gibbs had already reached the elevator when he noticed her.

She eyed him suspiciously. “You don’t have a case so you’re asking me if I want to come with you and have lunch. With you.�

Gibbs grew more impatient with the minute. “Well yeah, gotta eat every once in a while, Abs.� he answered carefully and turned his back again to walk into the elevator when he heard her voice again.

“Timmie would’ve come by the lab to hang out if you guys weren’t do anything. What’s going on? And you better not lie to me because you know I have rules too. And I can always kill you without leaving any trace of evidence if you were about to take the risk.�

Gibbs sighed and turned around once more. “Trust me on this one, Abs. I need you to come with me now.� He stepped in the elevator and held it open for her. She got in with a fearful look on her face. He felt bad for scaring her but right now, his thoughts were with the man he loved lying in a hospital with a bullet in his body.

Gibbs was surprised as Abby endured the elevator ride in silence. She calmly followed him to his car, got in and waited for Gibbs to do the same and close the door. Then she exploded.

“If you’re not telling me what is going on RIGHT now, I’ll forget I like you and go straight to the part where I’m threatening to put you in my coffin and locking you in it!�

Gibbs tried his hardest not to laugh. Even when she was threatening people, she was still cute.

He shifted a little so he could look her in the eyes.

“The team went to check out a lead on some cold case when Tony caught two men in a drug deal. He showed his badge, approached the two men and was about to cuff one when…� Gibbs swallowed. “The other brought up a gun and shot him in the abdomen.� He looked down, afraid to see Abby’s reaction.

To her credit, she didn’t say anything so Gibbs looked back up. Abby tried to speak but it felt like someone held it closed and she swallowed hard. “How bad?� was all she managed to get out.

“Ziva and McGee stayed behind to wait for the surgeon. I came here to pick you up and drive back over there. Unless you don’t want to come.�

“Are you kidding me? Shut the fuck up and drive already!� her eyes grew wide as she realized what she had said. “I’m sorry! No, I’m not sorry! Well, okay, I’m sorry but I’m not saying I’m sorry because that would be a sign of weakness. So I’m not saying I’m sorry but I am sorry. Whatever, please drive?�

The left corner of Gibbs’ mouth twitched, almost too small a gesture to spot without a microscope, except for those who studied him on a daily basis. He tapped Abby’s knee affectionately to calm her down.

When they finally reached the hospital, Gibbs was afraid that Abby would jump out of the car when he hadn’t even pulled in the parking spot yet. She surprised him once more and shifted back and forth on the seat but only opened the door when the engine was safely turned off.

The doors slid open and Abby ran towards McGee as soon as she saw him sitting in the waiting room.

“Timmie! Have you guys heard anything yet? Is he gonna be okay? Where is Ziva?�
McGee held out his hand and smiled a little when Abby entwined her fingers with his without hesitation.

He stroked her fingers lightly with his thumb to comfort her. “The doctor hasn’t come out yet but I’m sure everything is alright, Abs. Tony wouldn’t leave us, there are so many pranks he has to pull on me first before his time comes.�

Abby grinned at that and sat down beside her friend. Gibbs moved to join them when he heard the doctor’s voice behind him.

"Are you here for Anthony DiNozzo?"

When he turned around to nodd, his face fell. Doctor Pitt sighed as he pulled of his surgical cap.

Gibbs’ first impulse was to run.

Pretend like nothing had happened and that he wasn’t scared shitless of what the man in front of him was going to say.

The only thing he wanted to hear right now was Tony’s laughter, whether it was caused by McGee’s fingers glued to his keyboard, a grammatical screw-up from Ziva or an endless rant from Ducky about his childhood, he didn’t care.

He just wanted to be able to look at him and not feel like it could all be over any second.

He forced himself to look dr. Pitt in the eye and swallowed.

Dr. Pitt smiled sadly. “It was touch ‘n go.� Abby couldn’t take the pressure and practically launched herself into McGee’s lap, holding on for dear life, trying to prepare in any possible way for the news they were about to hear. Tim stroked her arm absentmindedly and fought the urge to bite his fingernails.

“They were able to get the bullet out without damaging him any further. Fortunately, it hadn’t nicked any vital organs. However, Tony was in hypothermic shock when he was brought in and he had already lost a lot of blood before we could get him into the O.R. That’s when they called me.�

He glanced at Gibbs.

“Because of his past troubles with his lungs, he was already weakened and any strain on his lungs could be life threatening. He’s not out of the woods yet. Right now, all we can do is try to keep his vitals steady and hope he doesn’t develop pneumonia.�

He looked at the agents. They were all trying to get a grip on the situation.

“Can we see him?� Abby whispered.

“I’m afraid that’s far to dangerous right now. Right now, we can only allow the nurses to enter the room. The smallest bacteria could be fatal in this early stage. I can, however, take you to the ICU so you can see him from behind the glass.�

And with that, he smiled once more and turned around for the others to follow him.

“Gibbs?� He was jerked out of his thoughts and looked up to find Ziva standing in front of him with a worried look on her face. “Gibbs?� she asked again. “Are you coming?�

“Eh, no. You go without me. I have a lot of paperwork waiting for me.�, he forced a smile and stalked out, suddenly in desperate need of fresh air. “Gibbs!�

He didn’t hear Ziva calling after him.

He practically ran out of the hospital, pushing against the doors with such force that they almost flew out of their hinges. He stumbled to his car and finally breathed out again. He was waiting to get a grip on everything when he was snapped back to reality by the door on the passenger side opening.

Ziva got in, closed the door and looked at Gibbs patiently.

“What?!� he barked.

She wasn’t impressed. “Angry Gibbs may work with Tony but you can’t make me go away with a head slap�, she smiled weakly.

He glared at her. “Get out of my car, I have paperwork to do�, he repeated.

She smiled again. “Let’s get going then, the sooner I can nail those bastards and torture them with a paperclip, the better.�

And with that said, the topic seemed to be closed. She fastened her seatbelt, gripped the handle on the door in order to survive the ride and looked out the window.

McGee would probably be too scared to talk about Tony but Abby would definitely chase him and make him talk about it. Ziva on the other hand, wasn’t as stupid as to expect a hug. She knew Tony was incredibly important to Gibbs. Maybe even more than she’d suspected before today.

It didn’t matter. Because she wasn’t a talker and neither was he. And that was fine. They’d keep their focus on the job and catch those sons of bitches while the others could stay behind and press kisses against the glass of Tony’s room. She loved her partner too much to think about what would happen if he died.



Two days pass without the team getting any closer to finding a decent clue.
They are more focused than ever but at the same time, a critical link is missing.

They’re wounded and struggling to keep the team going and they know it.

Gibbs sometimes catches McGee as he glances to his left, where he’d usually find Tony at his desk. He feels sorry for Tim and Ziva. It becomes painfully clear that Tony is what keeps them going.

Gibbs will just sit at his desk and think. About everything that once made sense and doesn’t anymore.

He realizes that he feels broken without his Senior Agent and he hates every second of it.

He’s so lost in thought that when he finally looks up â€" after what seems like hours â€" it’s dark outside and Ziva and McGee are staring blankly at their computer screens.

Just for a moment, it makes him feel better. They’re in this together.

He tells them to go home and get some sleep so they’ll make some progress tomorrow for a change. For once, the other two don’t run out on him immediately but linger there for a few more minutes before packing their stuff.

“You have to get some sleep as well, Gibbs.�, Ziva says softly before she walks towards the elevator.


When he’s finally on his way home, Gibbs doesn’t drive as fast as he normally would. What’s the point â€" he knows he’ll just fall asleep under the boat, drunk on bourbon to numb his heartache.

As he tries to fight the tears that are inevitably coming, he pulls over at the side of the road.

He’s raging inside. He’s a Marine, for fuck’s sake, he shouldn’t be vulnerable. Ever. But it’s pointless and he knows it, his heart has been Tony’s for years now. Even if the younger agent doesn’t know it. Gibbs would never let him know, he couldn’t bear to see the look on Tony’s face. His hard-as-nails-team-leader in love with the womanizer of the team; he’d run out on Gibbs at the speed of light.

When Gibbs realizes he’s about to drown in self-pity, it makes him even angrier. And then he knows that he won’t be going home for a while. He’d just end up breaking his boat.

He makes a U-turn and slams his foot on the gas pedal.



When he arrives at the hospital and goes straight to the ICU, the nurses at the nurse station look at each other knowingly. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is famous for his ‘fantastic’ attitude.

The older nurse of the two, Brenda, knows it’s pointless to try and stop him so she simply hands him a mouth mask and points at Tony’s room. “He’s not awake yet. Be careful�, she adds.

Gibbs can feel his heart pounding against his ribcage as he silently enters Tony’s room. He slumps down in the chair standing next to his Agent’s bed and looks at him for a while. Tony looks pale but peaceful, like he’s sleeping.

He knows it doesn’t make any sense but he has to get it off his chest, so Gibbs bows over Tony. “Listen to me, DiNozzo. When you had the plague, I told you you couldn’t die. Well, you still can’t die, goddamned!� he sighs and pulls Tony’s hand between his.

“They need you� he whispers.

When he feels the familiar stinging behind his eyes, he realizes he’s tired of fighting tonight. It feels like suddenly, the past few days are catching up with him and he lets himself fall back in the chair.

“I need you.� His voice cracks and after a while he falls asleep with his hand still holding Tony’s.

He doesn’t wake up when the nurse comes to check on Tony again, and neither does he when Tony stirs and wakes up.