Jethro stood outside the door he had entered many times before this his key. But not this time.

Jethro took a deep breath and lifted his hand and knocked on the door. He waited awhile, then he heard the lock unlock and waited as the door opened.

Tony stood there after he opened the door looking confused. Jethro had always just came right in, the last time he knocked had been the night before they slept together.

“Jethro…?” Tony said opening the door and standing aside for him to come in. Jethro took a deep breath and went in.

“Tony we need to talk.” Jethro said. Tony nodded and shut the door behind him and followed Jethro into the living area. He was gonna sit down but Jethro did not and just turned around just standing there. Tony knew something was wrong. Something had been wrong for about a month now. But Tony had tried to ignore it all hoping it was just a figment of his imagination.

“Sure Jet, what do you need to talk about?” Tony said just managing not to panic to much just yet.

“Tony we…” Jethro stopped and took a deep breath and adjusted himself then look back at Tony. “We need to stop seeing each other.” There he said it and it about tore his hearts to shreds. What made it worse was watching Tony as he took in the information.

“Wha…what…I…I don’t understand.” Tony said barely hanging on to what was managing to keep him upright and not falling to his knees and crying his eyes out.

“Remember that friend I introduced you to last month. Julia Reynolds.” Jethro said and the only thing Tony could do was nod numbly. “We have been sleeping together for a month now behind your back.’ Jethro said getting that out before he puked. But now that it was out the urge was even greater. Especially seeing Tony’s face now. Betrayal, pain, loss, hurt, embarrassed. God he didn’t want this for him, in fact he wanted to say it was all a nightmare and take Tony in his arms and hold him forever. But he knew he had to do this if he didn’t want anything to happen to him.

“You…you…what!” Tony said distressed and the most heartbreak full thing happened he lost all coherent thought and sobbed as he fell to his knees.

Jethro was not expecting that if anything he was expecting anger not this.

Anger he could have maybe dealt with probably not, but would still be better then this. Jethro quickly went over to the radio and turned it on and turned up the valium. Then he turned around to the broken man on the ground in the middle of the living room, and he quickly went over to him.
He bent down next to him and pulled him into his arms. At first he struggled against him but Jethro held tight and then Tony was sobbing his pain onto his chest.

“Oh god not again please Jethro. I’ll do anything but let this happen to me again, I couldn’t take it. I love you too much please tell me it’s not real.” Tony sobbed.

“Shh it’s ok babe, I got you.” Jethro said holding Tony close as he sat down leaning his back against the wall and Tony in front of him resting on his chest. Jethro stoked his left hand through Tony’s hair and his right up and down Tony’s arm. Tony himself was leaned up against Jethro’s right side and had his right hand gripping Jethro’s shirt right over his heart.

“Tell me it’s not true.” Tony whispered as he stopped crying and his voice got an empty feeling. Jethro’s heart constricted. Jethro kissed the side of his forehead then leaned down so his lips were mere centimeter away from Tony’s ear.

“No, it’s not.” Tony got confused, hope also rose inside him but he also felt betrayed how could Jethro do this to him?

“I don’t under.” was all he got out as Jethro placed a finger over his lips. Jethro kissed the side of his head again and ran his hand through his hair and action that always soothed Tony, now was no different.

“I’ve been given an assignment. I will be going undercover. In order to get into this group I had to do this, they had watched me for awhile and picked the best challenge. They have the place bugged and know what is being said that is why I turned on the radio.” Jethro said holding Tony as he listen to Jethro. “You will go to work as usual tomorrow but I wont be there for awhile, you’ll lead the team.” Tony looked up at him at this point. “When you get into the office tomorrow morning go into Vance’s office he promised me he would speak and explain everything to you.” Tony nodded. Still listening. “Tony I never want to hurt you and that look I saw on your face just about nearly killed me. I love you so much Tony.”
Jethro said holding Tony tighter and nuzzling into the back of Tony’s neck breathing him in. Tony then reached up with his hand and placed it on Jethro’s cheek. Jethro looked down at Tony and the closed the gap. Jethro breathed Tony in as the kissed, he could honestly say this was the most intense kiss he had ever given and received. When they pulled away Tony rested his forehead against Jethro’s.

“You had better get going to want them to get suspicias.” Jethro looked into his eyes and saw nothing but trust, love, understanding, still some hurt, but not as much as before. Jethro nodded and hauled them both up he walked over to the door with Tony close behind. Once there Jethro turned around and grabbed Tony in another searing kiss when he pulled away but not much just to were his lips were barely touching Tony’s he promised.

“I promise you Tony We. Will. Be. Together again.” And like that he was gone out the door. Tony lifted his hand his fingertips ghosting over his lips Jethro’s impression still upon them.

“Be safe.” He whispered into the air.


HERE COMES GOODBYE
BY: RASCAL FLATTS

I can hear the truck tires
Comin up the gravel road
And its not like her to drive that slow
And nothins on her radio
Footsteps on the front porch
I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in
Now I can tell

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear Im gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishin things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

I can hear her say I love you
Like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face
That she had never felt this way
One day, I thought Id see her
With her daddy by her side
And violins would play
Here Comes The Bride but

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear Im gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishin things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

Whys it have to go from good to gone
Before the lights turn on
Yeah, and youre left alone, all alone
But here comes goodbye

Here comes goodbye
Here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear Im gonna cry
Here comes the pain
Here comes me wishin things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight
But here comes goodbye

Do you dream
That the world will know your name
So tell me your name

“Hello, and what might your name be?” A very slurred suggesting voice said behind him.

“Take a hike, not in the mood.” Was his only answer and truth was he wasn’t.

“Oh come on now don’t be feisty.” The voice said saddling up right behind him and pressing into his back. He growled in annoyance and pushed back shacking the guy off.

“Look I get it you interested, but I’m taken so go before I make you go. And it wont be pretty.” He said the guy through his hands up in surrender and walked away.

And do you care
About all the little things
Or anything at all

He opened the exit door and headed out of the bar that he happened to find by accidentally walking to far away from home to get fresh air. But due to his stay in the bar, he was in no condition to walk, so he hailed a cab. Once the cab pulled up to the curb he went to reach for the handle but he must have drank more then he thought because

suddenly he was stumbling forward misjudging the distance.
The cabby got out and helped him in. Once they were both in and heading in a direction, he took a deep breath and held it for a moment then let it out. He had absolutely no idea were he was going and right this moment that thought sounded good.

“Were do you want to be dropped off?” The cabby asked.

“Don’t care.” Was his answer as he watched the scenery pass by the windows.

I want to feel
All the chemicals inside
I want to feel

He listened to the hum of the cabs engine trying to get control over what he obviously at the moment had no control over. He breathed in deep trying to feel the alcohol in his system doing it’s work. But the only thing he could feel was pain. He didn’t want to feel that any more, but he does not know how to get rid of it.

I want a sunburn
Just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive

All a sudden the cab came to a stop, he lifted his head and looked out the window. He still had no idea were he was and he didn’t care. He was about to open the door but it was opened for him. He looked up and saw that it was the cabby. The cabby helped him out but while getting out he cut his arm on the door it wasn’t a long cut but it was deep. The thing was it didn’t hurt in fact it felt good, it reminded him he was alive. Something that did that was worth getting.


And don't tell me if I'm dying
'Cause I don't want to know

The cabby helped into a building and soon there was a cot and some water. He excepted the water, then laid down on the cot and closed his eye’s but didn’t go to sleep. He thought, and kept thinking. He thought about the time he over heard Abby and McGee talking about him. Saying that he was about as dead to the world as a doll. He didn’t think he was, but truth be told he hasn’t been doing a lot of clear thinking of late.

If I can't see the sun
Maybe I should go

He opened his eyes and realized that he must have fallen asleep, he looked around his surroundings and couldn’t recognize anything. It looked like he was in a wearhouse. He looked around and saw there were several other cots there with body’s in them sound asleep. He looked out a window that was high up and saw that it was still a little dark out, but close to morning. He slipped out of his cot and headed for the exit door. He needed to head home.

Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming
Of angels on the moon

He did not know how long he had been walking all he knew was that, his feet hurt. His arm was throbbing were he had a distinct memory of cutting it. His legs were aching, and he was cold. Not to forget he was lost somewhere in Washington DC, and from the looks of it he no longer had a cell phone, wallet which means no money to call on a payphone. Thank God he left his badge and gun at home no telling how that would have turned out if they had been stolen.

But after all that’s happened and what’s happing to him now. The only thing that he could think of was, his smile, his voice, his touch, his smell. Him.

Where everyone you know
Never leaves too soon

He wanted him back so bad it was painful. But he knew that he had a job to do and he needed to let him go.

He looked up after looking at his feet so long to see where he was. He was surprised to find out that he was standing right outside of HIS house. He sighed but headed to the door, He reached under the mat and pulled out the spare key. He never locked his door but he did before he left for the undercover mission. Before he had left he had told him that he locked it and were the key was, saying it was open to him 24/7.

Yeah you can tell me all the thoughts
About the stars that fill polluted skies

He went right in after unlocking the door, as soon as he was in he could smell the coffee and sawdust that sill polluted the air. And it made him feel home.

After locking the door back up he headed for the stairs.

And show me where you run to
When no one's left to take your side

Once he got to the master bedroom he stopped and opened it he headed straight to the bed and fell in. This is were he felt safe, loved, and at home. It was only missing one thing HIM but he could smell him in the sheets and it stilled his thoughts and calmed his nerves.

But don't tell me where the road Ends
'Cause I just don't want to know

He didn’t care where he went from there, he just knew that he was here. Were he belonged. But he wish that someone ells was with him, he would have to be patient.

And no I don't want to know, love

Because he knew that it hurts to much.

And don't tell me if I'm dying
And don't tell me if I'm dying
And don't tell me if I'm dying

THE END
Of this chapter? More yes, no, maybe?

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Here is the song it’s:
Angels on the Moon BY:
Thriving Ivory

Do you dream
That the world will know your name
So tell me your name
And do you care
About all the little things
Or anything at all
I want to feel
All the chemicals inside
I want to feel
I want a sunburn
Just to know that I'm alive
To know I'm alive

Chorus
And don't tell me if I'm dying
'Cause I don't want to know
If I can't see the sun
Maybe I should go
Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know
Never leaves too soon

And do you believe
In the day that you were born
Tell me do you believe
And do you know
That every day's the first
Of the rest of your life

Chrous

This is to one last day in the shadows
And to know a brother's love
This is to New York City angels
And the rivers of our blood
This is to all of us
To all of us

So don't tell me if I'm dying
'Cause I don't want to know
If I can't see the sun
Maybe I should go
Don't wake me 'cause I'm dreaming
Of angels on the moon
Where everyone you know
Never leaves too soon

Yeah you can tell me all the thoughts
About the stars that fill polluted skies
And show me where you run to
When no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road Ends
'Cause I just don't want to know
And no I don't want to know, love

And don't tell me if I'm dying
And don't tell me if I'm dying
And don't tell me if I'm dying