Jethro took another sip of his beer and sighed heavily. The alcohol was just starting to numb his thoughts of her, but not quite. Memories still lingered in the back of his mind and came creeping up on him when he least expected it.

He tried to think about other things, he really tried, but everything he thought of reminded him of her. Her long, silky red hair, her sweet, intoxicating lips he missed and most of all her smile. That damned smile. It could make his heart melt when he was a bastard, could make him laugh when nothing else could. But then she left with her five-year plan and his heart in a bottle. Then the drinking started. He didn't know exactly when it had happened. Some time after he figured she was never coming back, he supposed.

He got to his feet, sliding his jacket on and he walked out into the cold night air.

Why had he been so ignorant and missed the signs? He had thought that she was just still recovering from losing their baby, but obviously there was more to it than that.

When he got home, he threw his coat onto the couch, grabbed a bottle of bourbon and headed down to his basement. 'Diane' lay unfinished in the middle of the floor. He ducked under the wood frame of the boat and laid down where the cabin would eventually be. As he drank his sorrows away, he let a few tears fall and he thought about what it might have been like if Jenny never lost the baby, never left him, what would his life be like? He fell into a deep, dreamless sleep while little did he know; his daughter was taking her first breath.

6 yrs later

Size 5 feet splashed through the water, mud flying everywhere as six-year-old Amanda Sheppard ran giggling from her mother. Children swarmed around the park in raincoats and gumboots, their parents watching with expressions of awe and worry. Jennifer Sheppard followed her daughter laughing, clutching a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Amanda! You're getting mud all over your clothes!" She called trying to hold back another fit of laughter as Amanda kicked mud into the air, and managing to make her blue jeans splattered brown.

Amanda looked back at her mother briefly, and suddenly her foot caught a root of a tree that was sticking up out of the ground. Her hands went out, attempting to break her fall, but instead they slid through the mud, sending her to her stomach.

A few soft sobs shook through her small body, as two large hands wrapped around her arms, lifting her off the ground. Looking up, through a layer of tears, Amanda saw an unfamiliar man, yet found his grip and look comforting. He smiled at her reassuringly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, setting her down.

Amanda nodded, backing away slowly, and smelling her mother, turned around and hugged Jenny's legs.

"Thank-you," Jenny said gratefully, never taking her eyes off her daughter.

A few moments passed and Jenny wondered if the man had walked away, but looking up she found not that he had walked away, but that the man simply stared. His hands started to shake slightly, and Jenny's breath caught in her throat.

The man in front of her may have been unfamiliar to Amanda, but Jenny could put a name to that face any day. She had spent the best part of a year waking up to his face, and she believed that she most probably knew every laugh line, wrinkle, and grey hair on that man. A spark of happiness exploded in her stomach, but suddenly died down when she realised something wrong with the scene that the man was staring at.

His daughter was in it. The daughter she had told him she lost 2 months through the pregnancy. Then she had left saying that it was best for everyone. Unconsciously her mind leapt back to that day…

Jenny Sheppard found herself wake to the sound of the coffee machine, humming in the next room, and after a minute of drowsiness, she stumbled out of bed.

As she passed the mirror, a smile crept to her face, spotting her lover in the bed behind her, the covers strewn awkwardly across him. Grabbing her robe off the back of the door, Jenny proceeded through the apartment, entering the familiar kitchen.

She had to admit, she would miss this place. She would miss the city. Their assignment was up here, and they were leaving this afternoon. But she didn't want to. A lot had happened here. She had fallen pregnant.

She remembered how happy he was when she told him, and how crushed she was when, just a week ago, she had explained she lost the baby. She also remembered quite clearly how much it hurt her to tell him. But she had to.

Jenny poured herself a cup of coffee, and leant against the bench, knowing that he wouldn't be awake for at least an hour or two.

Silently she walked back into the room, where she pulled on a blue blouse and jeans.

They were the only clothes she had unpacked.

It suddenly occurred to her as she watched him sleep, that today would be the day. It was the day that she left her old life, of love and pain and she would start on her way to success.

Jenny snapped out of her thoughts, as Amanda tugged on her hand. She stood up, taking her daughter in her arms, and stepped towards her ex lover. She knew he was still probably upset at the way she left.

A note on the counter, with little to no explanation about why. Just that he didn't fit into her plan.

"I…" She started to say but he turned on his heels and stalked away, and Jenny swore she saw a tear fall from his eye.

As they arrived home, Jenny felt as if though a burden had been taken off her shoulders, her heart had been torn. Amanda looked at her mother, and spotted tears in her eyes.

"Mommy?" Jenny looked down at her daughter, and brushed a lock of red curls out of her face.

"Yeah?" she said, struggling to hold back tears, seeing the likeness in Amanda and her father.

"Who was that man today?"

Jenny contemplated not telling her but she knew she couldn't do that; keep secrets from the only family she had left.

"Well sweetie…" Jenny bent down and nervously fiddled with her hands, "That was your father. Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

Jenny Sheppard was nervous.

Which was absolutely ridiculous because, she had had been in worse positions than this. Like that time she and Jethro had had their covers blown in Deli, and they had faced an ambush of 50 or so terrorist cell member, 2 of whom were strapped with bombs on their chests, and were threatening to blow up the town square.

She took a deep breath to calm herself, and focused on the large screen in front of her, trying to ignore his voice behind her.

“Target vehicle approaching’, Jenny glanced at the young female agent who had said the statement, before nodding briefly.

Another man spoke in Hebrew but she could clearly understand him when he said “Acquiring target.”

The room fell silent then, as they all seemed to watch the mission that was playing out on the screen.

“We have a hard lock,” A voice announced over the speakers.

“Target confirmed. Engage.”

“Weapon free.”

All eyes in the room were plastered to the plasmas a white van winded down the dusty road.

“Good lock on target,”

A few seconds later, the van burst into flames, and the room seems to let out a sigh, agents shaking each others hands.

“Confirming target hit. Thank you.” The Hebrew man says again.

Jenny smiled at them.

“Good job everyone” she said, watching them depart.

As the agents filed out of the room, many shaking Jenny’s hand, she let her mind wander to her daughter .She would be asleep by now, with her blue teddy under her arm, and the blanket tucked under her chin. Jenny felt a pang of hurt in her chest when she realised it had been the first time in her life, that she hadn’t tucked her daughter in.

“He’s your problem now, director.” Tom Morrow said, snapping Jenny from her thoughts.

She stood with a deep breath and turned to where she knew ‘he’ was sitting.

“Hello, Jethro.” She said with more courage than she felt. She knew she had hurt him when she left, and when he had found out that she didn’t actually lose the baby. Their baby.

She saw the surprise in his eyes, and then anger bubbled into his gaze.
He leant back into his chair, his hands clenched into fists.

“Don’t seem so excited to see me,” Jenny said, with strained humour.
He still didn’t answer her, instead got to his feet and left the room.

*

The case was finally wrapped up. Ari was dead, and Kate was put to rest. But somehow, Jethro didn’t feel any thrill from it. All he could focus on was Jenny, and his daughter.

When he had seen her in the park that day, he couldn’t believe his eyes. He had a child, a beautiful young little girl, who didn’t even know who he was.

He sighed, knocking on her door lightly. A few seconds later, he heard little footsteps running towards the door, before it opened to a small red head child.

His breath caught in his throat, like it did the first time he had seen her, only a few weeks ago.

Just as his voice returned, Jenny ran laughing after her daughter. Her laughter subsided when she saw her ex lover standing there.

“Amanda, honey, why don’t you go back to bed, and I’ll be in there in a minute?” Amanda nodded to her mother, racing back inside.

“Come inside,” was all Jenny said, holding the door open for Gibbs. He stepped in reluctantly, and silently followed her to the study, where she poured two glasses of bourbon.

“I can’t blame you for being mad,” She said, feeling the need to overcome the silence that filled the gap between them.

He scoffed lightly. “Yeah, well considering I just found out that I’m a father, I think I have a have a right.”

“Jethro, please. I had to do what was right for her and I…I still do.”

“Does that mean not letting her have a father?” His voice was starting to rise now, and Jenny winced.

“I never meant to hurt you.” She whispered, her voice so tiny, that she wasn’t sure if he had heard her or not, until he lifted her chin with his finger.

Then suddenly, their lips were crashing together, 6 years of pain, and longing all built up, exploding into a couple of seconds of leisurely kissing.

When they pulled away, Jethro laid his head against hers.

“I know you didn’t, Jen. But it’s hard for me to just forgive you for something as big as this. I mean, you said that she was dead!”

“Mommy?” A small voice came from the doorway, causing both Jenny and Jethro to pull apart, and turn to their daughter.

Jenny knelt down to eye level with Amanda, holding out her arms for her.

“What’s wrong sweetie?”

Jethro looked on at his ex-lover and his daughter, and couldn’t help but feel tears come to his eyes. Jenny was such a good mother, and she had raised Amanda from an infant, without Gibbs, or anyone else to guide her.

“You said you were going to tuck me in!” The six year old wrapped her arms around her mothers’ neck, and Jenny hoisted the girl onto her waist.
“Okay, I’m going.”

“No, I want Daddy to do it!” Gibbs’ head shot up at those words, the ones he hadn’t heard since before Kelly died.
“Me?”

Amanda nodded, holding out her arms to him. Jethro took her, exchanging a surprised look with Jenny.

“Her room is this way,” She said, suppressing a smile, as she led Jethro out of the study, and up the stairs to Amanda’s room. When she looked back, she saw her daughter asleep, her head buried in the crook of Gibbs’ neck.

“In here,” She whispered, admiring him as he lay their daughter onto her bed, tucking the covers under her chin.

“Good night, angel.” Jethro said softly, kissing her red curls gently.
Jenny kissed Amanda on the forehead, before backing out of the room silently, shutting the door partially, before she turned to Jethro.

“What now?” she asked, almost dreading the answer.

“Well, of course I want to be part of her life. I have missed 6 years of it, and I am not going to miss anymore.”

Jenny nodded.

They walked in silence to the door, when Jenny spoke up.

“Stay the night?” Jethro looked at her, searching her face for answers to questions unspoken.

He remembered how much it hurt when she left him, and he knew he couldn’t deal with it again, if se decided to leave. However, something inside him told him, that wasn’t going to happen. Not now that Amanda was in their lives.

“Okay,” And he grabbed her gently, pulling her upstairs to the bedroom.