“Jethro,� I heard a voice call down the hall from the kitchen, “is that you?�
Oh crap. She’s still awake. It’s nearly two in the morning. You’d think she’d be asleep.
She was sitting calmly at the dining table, like she’d been waiting for a while. She held a cup of coffee in her hands and stared out the window into the moonlit backyard.
“It’s cold tonight,� she said softly, not even turning to face me.
She took a drink and tried to give me a smile but it never fully formed. She looked away quickly but I could see the shimmering lines the tears had left on her cheeks.
“I don’t get it, Jethro. Do you even want to be married to me?�
My jaw dropped. “What? Of course I do! Why would you even ask that?�
“You’re never here! You’re always working on a tough case or something. I stay at home and make these meals that I end up eating by myself because you are still in the field or doing paperwork.�
“You know damn well that I’m not cheating on you and that I’m actually working.�
“Oh, I know but even when you’re here in front of me, you’re a million miles away. You’re always thinking about the last case or some other criminal who got away. I’ve been waiting for you to say you love me but that still hasn’t happened.� She threw up her hands in defeat. “I’m done. I want a divorce.�
I didn’t even try to argue with her and let her go.
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“Boss. Hey, boss.�
I jerked my head up to look at Tony. He looked exhausted â€" naturally, since our last case was brutal. I dozed off while they did their paperwork. Why had I been remembering one of my exes?
“What, DiNozzo?�
“Uhh…Boss, can Zi and I go home? We finished with the paperwork a few minutes ago.�
“Well, DiNozzo, I thought you’d have been done earlier since your wife has done nothing but desk work for the past month.�
Ziva laughed at her husband’s sheepish look and touched her swelling stomach.
“Gibbs, you know how easily distracted Tony is. He distracted me and McGee so we didn’t get done until now.�
I waved them away and watched as Tony put an arm around Ziva’s waist and led her to the elevator.
Who knew that the womanizing “pig� that is Tony DiNozzo would one day get married and have a kid? You’d never see that looking at him on his first day here.
Tony used to think he was the best damn thing to ever walk onto the Navy Yard. He was an ex-Baltimore homicide detective so he’d seen his fair share of violence and made it go away with a smile and a pointless movie reference.
Where had the years gone?
Once I got back from “retirementâ€� I began to notice the changes in my team. McGee was still given crap by Tony but he could give it back with the same intensity now. Tony no longer flirted with every female he came in contact with â€" even before him and Ziva broke rule twelve. He had become a mini-me, I guess, trying to be strong even when it got tough to be. Ziva no longer threatened Tony in a way where he actually feared for his life. Although, we all knew he still did on some level.
Tony had told me one day after I came back that he’d hoped that, after every case they worked without me, that I would come walking through those elevator doors and congratulate them. But I never did. He had actually given up hope of me coming back.
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I was in the basement, working on boat God knows what number, when it hit me. What happened to me? I had done the same thing day in and day out and it rarely varied. What happened to the plans that I’d made? Maybe they died with each ex-wife I had, I don’t really know. All I’ve done though is, while I’m building these boats, is lose part of myself.
The next day as I walked into the bullpen, I decided something. I’m going to change this. I’m still going to build boats and not tell anyone how I get them out of my basement. I’m still going to smack my team upside the head when they screw up. And I’m still going to remember Shannon and Kelly.
But, I’m going to vary my schedule a little and spend less time working on the boat and more time working on building a better, slightly more social, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.