Warning: AU, OOC, Angst, Abuse, Violence, Torture, all sorts of bad stuff…
Pairing: Tony/OMC, eventually Tony/Gibbs
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Dang it. Only the idea is mine.

Silver Knight
Chapter 1: Breaking Out
by WCUGirl

Tony met Declan O’Sullivan through his college roommate at Ohio State. Their relationship had been a rocky one from the beginning. It started off innocent enough; Declan had wanted to know what Tony’s class schedule was, then he began showing up outside of Tony’s classrooms. Next he’d wanted to know where Tony was, who he was with, and what he was doing any time they were apart. Both of these struck Tony as odd, but he was still so shocked that this man fancied him, that he just couldn’t bring himself to mention it.

His frat brothers eventually grew concerned, and when Tony tried to downplay it to them they upped their argument, saying that Declan might actually not be the guy Tony thought he was, and perhaps Tony was getting in over his head. Over drinks that night in his dorm room, Tony had laughingly told Declan what his friends thought of him.

The next day Tony resigned from the fraternity.

xxx

Tony’s professors began to grow concerned whenever they noticed how much Declan lurked around the classrooms waiting for Tony, steering him away as soon as class was over--Tony didn’t even have the ability to ask questions or speak to the teachers before Declan was fussing for him to hurry the hell up and come on. One of Tony’s teachers finally cornered him in the Student Union after lunch one day and expressed his concerns for the young man. Tony turned on the charm and thanked the professor, but assured him that things were fine, he was safe; everything was great, this relationship was just a bit intense. But it was fine; Tony had everything under control--he could get out anytime he wanted to.

xxx

After Tony graduated from Ohio State, he’d enrolled in the police academy. Declan snorted derisively when Tony told him he’d be studying to be a police officer.

“You don’t have the guts, you pussy,� he sneered at Tony in his breathy, beer scented voice.

Tony hadn’t responded, but proved his lover wrong--he’d not only graduated, he’d graduated in the top of his class--again.

Unfortunately, police jobs in Ohio weren’t available in large quantities when Tony graduated. So he’d accepted a position in Peoria. Excited to have a job, Tony rushed home to tell Declan the good news.

That was the first time Declan had ever hit Tony.

Looking back, Tony knew that should have been the moment when he called it quits--the moment that Declan hit him, the whole game changed. But there was something about him…Tony couldn’t leave him. I mean this was DECLAN! The man had the looks of a Hollywood star, the swagger of a champion and Declan loved Tony--more than anyone ever had before. Tony would be a fool to leave Declan, and Declan knew it. Tony was elated when Declan told him that he should accept the job and they would move to Peoria together.

In Peoria, rookies were not given any sort of privilege on what shift they work or what district. To earn the right to ask for specific placement, you had to muddle your way through the trenches first. Tony was immediately assigned to the late night shifts--going to work at 8pm and getting off at 8am. He rode his beat, did his job, and if he moved a bit stiffly some days, well no one really questioned it. Tony was a healthy looking guy--he ate like a horse throughout his shifts and worked out a lot--always alone though. No one questioned if Tony looked like he was hurting--he probably just benched too much weight yesterday.

Flashback:

After the first time Declan hit Tony and Tony didn’t retaliate, the behavior grew into a pattern. Declan started withholding food from Tony at home, stating that he was a fat pig and if he was going to be one of those “spare tire cops who eats too many donuts� then Declan wanted nothing to do with his disgusting self. Tony didn’t eat at home anymore. He ate on the beat, but he never asked Declan for food anymore. If Declan offered it to him, it usually came with a price--often a hit, or sometimes a kiss, but sometimes food was traded in exchange for rape. Tony knew it was a fucked up situation. He knew he should leave--he’d been through the psychology seminars on abuse. He knew he was in an abusive relationship, but…but he loved Declan and he knew that if he could just figure out how to make the man happy then he wouldn’t need to abuse Tony anymore. Tony was abused by Declan because he was helping Tony be a better person. Tony should be grateful anyone was even taking interest in him.

End Flashback.

Declan hated living in Peoria. Tony liked the department well enough, but he loved Declan more, so when Declan told Tony that he wanted to move after two years, Tony conceded without any argument. Declan’s “discipline� was routine by now; Tony would come home from work, Declan would find some reason to smack him around a little--never too hard--nothing he couldn’t handle, and then Declan would go off to work and leave Tony to figure out how to patch himself up and then sleep before his shift that night.

xxx

Tony applied and was hired in Philadelphia and sent off with high recommendations from his chief and former partner from Peoria. His beat-partner had raised an eye when Tony told him he was moving, but he didn’t question it. Dino knew enough from his observations to know that there was more to Tony and this guy Declan than meets the eye. He also knew that he didn’t like the feeling he got whenever he saw Tony moving slow or heard him talk about “Declan wants…� or “Declan needs…� or “I’ll have to ask Declan first…�

Dino hoped that Tony would land on his feet, whatever happened. The kid was too nice, and too smart to be hooked up with the kind of guy that he feared Declan was.

xxx

In Philadelphia, Tony was hired as a police officer, not a police officer recruit, thanks to his years of service. This meant that he would be given some say in deciding when his shifts would be, where they would be, who his partner would be--not a lot of authority, but a bit.

Declan got a job as a bartender on Tony’s beat. Tony raised an eyebrow at this, but Declan just smiled and assured Tony that it was so he could keep an eye on his partner and make sure he was safe, while still bringing in some money. Tony smiled at that--Declan was very protective of Tony--indeed, no one was allowed to touch Tony, but Declan. Before Declan, no one had ever been protective over him, and Tony found he liked the attention.

Flashback:

When Tony was a kid, his father had beaten him badly--abused him for years, always calling him worthless and stupid and saying things like he regretted the day Tony was born and shit like that. His father told him countless times growing up that he was beaten because his father cared for him--he wanted him to grow up into a respectable person so this was how he made sure that happened. Tony’s self-esteem was so low by the time that he entered college and met Declan that he was near starved for any sort of positive attention that he could get. That attention, he learned, came for a price. Tony was paying dearly for this relationship with Declan now. Part of him was starting to hate Declan and how controlling he was, and how mean he could be. But then Tony would remind himself that it was only because Declan loved him that he was being treated like this.

End Flashback.

Tony worked happily at Philadelphia for two years.

One night Tony got a call to Declan’s bar to investigate some underage drinking. He’d been shocked and appalled when he found Declan behind the bar, drinking and laughing and serving up rounds to some girls who barely looked old enough to drive, let alone drink. Before he could say anything, Declan had turned around and had plastered himself up against one of the girls, kissing her passionately, his hands cupping her ass and breasts as though they were made for each other, his eyes closed and an expression of pure unadulterated bliss on his face.

Tony shut the bar down that night--with a little help from the others on his beat. The underage drinkers were ticketed and parents were called. The bar’s owner was arrested.

So was Declan.

Tony explained to the other officers on the scene at the bar that he knew Declan and couldn’t be permitted to arrest him, cuff him, drive him, anything like that, because it would constitute a conflict of interest he feared. More than that though, Tony feared what the consequences would be once Declan got home. Declan finally managed to get out of jail on a Promise of Good Will stating that he wouldn’t jump town before his court date in two weeks.

Flashback:

Tony was unable to attend court on the appointed day because he was hospitalized. He’d been attacked while securing a building in his district the night after Declan had been released. His attackers had used baseball bats and crow bars and had nearly beaten Tony to death. Tony hadn’t mentioned to anyone that his attackers had been two of Declan’s buddies, along with Declan himself. He simply held to his story that he didn’t see who the people were, didn’t hear their voices, only knew their general heights and weights, but it was dark and he was trying not to get beaten to death. No one questioned it.

End Flashback.

Tony’s beat-partner shook her head when he told her he was resigning. She was a veteran cop, had been on the force fifteen years. She was smart. She knew abuse when she saw it. Tamera couldn’t prove that Tony was in a romantic relationship with Declan, but there was definitely something there. She knew about Declan getting into some trouble. She sighed and wished Tony good luck.

xxx

In Baltimore, Tony vowed things would be different. He wouldn’t put up with the abuse anymore; wouldn’t take the bullying or the degrading. He would explain to Declan that this had to stop--Tony needed to be able to keep a job longer than two years. He wanted to build up experience and longevity. At this rate, he’d never be able to retire. Sure he had enough money from his trust fund to retire any time he wanted to, but Tony honestly enjoyed his work. He liked helping people and solving crimes and putting away the bad guys. It bothered him that he wasn’t recognized as a better officer than he was--simply because he typically moved away before anyone could really notice.

Declan told Tony that he didn’t want him to be a police officer anymore. Tony told him that he could do lots of things, but he couldn’t keep him from doing what he loved. Tony was growing increasingly concerned--the “discipline� (as Declan referred to it) was becoming increasingly violent, and here in Baltimore, Tony suspected that Declan was working a job on the wrong side of the law--he was convinced that Declan was getting into pimping and prostitution, maybe even drugs.

Declan was not pleased when Tony was promoted to Detective. Tony hadn’t expected him to be. The increase in Tony’s pay and the better hours did not stop the violent discipline. Each time Declan treated Tony in this way he always surrounded it with profound exclamations of love and adoration for Tony. Tony took him back each time, even though each time he promised himself it would be the last time. Next time he would leave. But next time came and went and Tony always stayed. Tony told himself he could leave anytime he wanted to. He didn’t need to stay with Declan to be happy; it was just easier to be in the comfortable relationship with Declan than it was to go through the hardship of convincing the man that Tony wasn’t coming back and getting Declan to accept that. That didn’t even approach the fear Tony had of living on his own and trying to cope on his own without having Declan’s guidance.

Tony knew that if he ever wanted to get rid of Declan he’d have to just leave and not say where he was heading. He’d have to be sneaky and cover his tracks and not leave any trace of where he was going behind. Any future job references would have to be done by Peoria and Philadelphia, since Declan wouldn’t think to go backwards looking for Tony. Tony would have to find a quiet apartment in a nice neighborhood, find a job doing something inconspicuous; maybe a private detective or something, and he would have to figure out how to live a happy life by himself when the time came.

Tony knew he could leave anytime he wanted. He just didn’t want to yet.

One day he was working on a murder case that he found held joint jurisdiction to NCIS. He called up NCIS and told them about the case. Intake sent the Major Criminal Response Team to take over the investigation. Tony refused to hand over sole jurisdiction and found himself partnered with the lead agent, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, as a result. This man was gruff, burly, a little scary, a lot mean, and absolutely addicted to coffee. He had silver hair, blue eyes, and if you could drag it out of him, a smile that would melt the polar ice caps. His case solve rate was second to none and his name was legendary among federal law enforcement groups. Tony was intrigued by the man, but kept it to himself and did not let his feelings expose themselves.

The team plus Tony spent days investigating clues, working long hours, sleeping in the office, living on coffee and bagels, trying to figure out who’d murdered the Corporal and his girlfriend. Since the girlfriend was a civilian, Gibbs allowed NCIS to share jurisdiction with Baltimore PD, especially since the young, smartass detective had been responsible enough to recognize that the case should belong to someone else in the first place. Tony stuck by the team, helping with evidence, processing interviews, studying the crime scene, doing his job, and doing it well. He didn’t give a second thought to the hell that would be waiting for him when he finally returned home.

The afternoon that they cracked the case, Tony received a phone call from Declan. Declan was mad that Tony hadn’t been home in three days, was accusing Tony of cheating on him, of sleeping around, of being a whore. Tony had never, ever, cheated on Declan, despite many offers and opportunities. Declan warned Tony that he’d better be ready for his punishment when he got home. Tony quietly agreed and hung up the phone. Gibbs raised an appraising eyebrow at him and Tony laughed it off.

“Pissed off my girlfriend again. She hates it when I work late.�

Gibbs smirked. “Cost me three marriages. I can relate to that. Hell at least you’re not married,� Gibbs retorted.

Tony laughed and nodded. He liked Gibbs, got along well with him, respected and maybe even trusted him…on a professional level. On a personal level…well Tony would love to have an opportunity to explore Leroy Jethro Gibbs on a more personal level. He mentally slapped himself. What was he thinking? Was he trying to get himself killed? He was with Declan. He was…happy with Declan. He was comfortable with Declan. Besides, Tony told himself, it’s not like Gibbs was gay--hell, he’d just told Tony he’d been married three times! Still…Tony had caught himself watching the other man on more than one occasion. He wondered what it would be like to be beaten at the hands of a powerful man like Gibbs; to hear the reaffirming words of “I’m helping you be a better person� come from those lips instead of someone else’s…he wondered if he could stand it.

xxx

Of course the apprehension of the murderer went bad. They hadn’t counted on the guy having a buddy over--one who was equally armed and dangerous. They also hadn’t counted on the building being the run down mess that it was--it made quiet entry difficult. Tony nearly jumped out of his skin when a rat ran over his foot at the door. Gibbs smirked again then raised an eyebrow in a silent--“FOCUS.�

Tony was holding his gun trained on the murderer, waiting while Stan Burley locked the man in handcuffs and read him his rights. He didn’t see the other gunman behind him aiming for Tony’s back. Stan didn’t see him either. Tony let out a startled yelp when he was suddenly knocked bodily to the side, falling over in a heap as his previously football-injured knee refused to hold the sudden shift in weight. After he blinked his eyes open he realized that just before he’d been knocked over he’d heard the sound of gunshots.

He stayed flat on the ground, not trying to move into anyone’s line of fire, but looked around cautiously. Gibbs was checking the pulse on the guy he’d shot. Gibbs stood up and grabbed one arm in the other hand, applying pressure. Tony was on his feet in an instant, shaking off the pain in his bad knee. “You okay, Boss,� he asked, not thinking about the title with which he’d just referred to Gibbs.

“I’m okay, DiNozzo, it’s a through and through. Get me some stitches and some antibiotics and I’ll be fine. No major harm done. You’re lucky I was watching though.�

“What do you mean?�

“I mean he was aiming at you! If I hadn’t turned around and seen the guy lining up a shot at your back, you’d be lying here bleeding out right now.�

Tony was absolutely floored. “You took a bullet for me?�

“Well that wasn’t exactly part of the plan, but yes I did take a bullet for you.�

“Why would you do that?�

Gibbs blinked at the obvious confusion on the younger man’s face.

“What do you mean?�

“I mean why would you shove me out of the way so I wouldn’t get shot, knowing that there was a chance that you would get shot? Why would you take a bullet for me? I don’t deserve that!�

Gibbs narrowed his eyes at Tony slightly. “I was watching your six, DiNozzo. Haven’t you ever had anyone watch your six before?�

“What’s that even mean,� Tony asked, slightly perplexed.

Gibbs sighed. “It’s military jargon. It’s a reference to a clock. You face straight ahead at 12 o’clock. Directly behind you is your 6 o’clock--your six. Haven’t you ever had anyone watch your back before?�

Tony blinked in surprise and shook his head. “No,� he said softly, floored by the revelation. Indeed in all the years he’d been a police officer, he’d never been able to confidently say that someone would watch his back for him--take a bullet for him. But this man…he did it without even being asked.

Gibbs shook his head, disgusted. “I can’t believe that. And they call themselves a police department around here. You could have been killed,� Gibbs snapped.

“You took a bullet for me,� Tony breathed again, his voice shaking just slightly as he dropped to his knees, the shock of the revelation leaving him lightheaded. If he hadn’t been in love with this man before, he surely was now.

Gibbs stepped in front of Tony and knelt down in front of him. “Hey,� he said softly, “You’re a good cop, Tony. You deserve a partner who will watch your six for you.�

That comment almost made Tony laugh out loud. He just couldn’t imagine Declan being protective…like Gibbs had been. Thoughts of being disciplined by Gibbs drifted into his mind again, but he quickly banished them.

“I have what I deserve,� Tony said quietly. “Because I’m not in a place to negotiate for better.�

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at the odd statement. “Listen, Burley, he’s getting a promotion up to Agent Afloat. This is his last case. I’m looking for a number two, a Senior Field Agent, if you’re interested.� Gibbs held out his card--a formality really, since Tony already had Gibbs’ number programmed into his phone. Tony reached out and took the card as though he’d just been offered the Holy Grail.

“Definitely interested,� he said softly. The wail of the ambulance sounded at that moment, and seconds later, the place was flooded with people.

xxx

That night, after Tony had finished icing his new bruises and bandaging the bloody welts that Declan had left on Tony’s body in the blind fury he’d attacked him with, he pulled out the business card again. He glanced in the bedroom and saw Declan was sound asleep--he usually fell asleep pretty quickly after “disciplining� Tony.

Making a decision, Tony smiled. This time would be the last time. He had a good reason to try to leave. That reason’s name was Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

TBC…

Chapter 2: Break Away

Tony told Declan that he had been called to DC for a work related meeting. He also told him that the department had rented only single hotel rooms and no accommodations had been made for partners. Declan didn’t like it but he agreed to let Tony go, stating that he’d better call every time he got a break in the meeting and each night. Tony found a hotel room in Baltimore. He emailed his resignation to his chief at BPD and then got on the phone and found himself an apartment in DC. He called Gibbs and told him that he was still interested in the job and that he’d resigned from Baltimore. Gibbs told him to come down to DC and they’d do the paperwork together.

So Tony hopped on a train--he’d sold his car at the local used car lot and pocketed the cash he’d gotten from it, and headed down to Washington DC. He carried one duffle bag and a backpack with him. He decided to go straight to NCIS. His superintendent at the apartment said that it would be a day or so before his place was ready. That had been last night. He’d check on it this afternoon and if need be, get a hotel room for the night.

He was stopped and nearly tackled by security when he entered NCIS carrying a duffle bag. Honestly that hadn’t even crossed his mind about being a problem, but he wasn’t used to working in federal agency offices. He told the security guard who was pinning him to the wall that he was here to see Leroy Jethro Gibbs about a job. The guard sneered at him, and Tony pleaded with the man to call Agent Gibbs and he would explain everything.

Finally the guard picked up the phone and Tony straightened his jacket--realizing in that moment that he was wearing jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt, and a windbreaker. Great outfit for a job interview, Tony, he snorted to himself. The guard on the phone was nodding his head, the voice of cooperation. A moment later he hung up and turned to Tony. “He’ll be down here to get ya in a few minutes.�

A few moments later, the elevator dinged and there stood his new boss, coffee cup in hand, looking like Tony’s own personal Savior. “Hi Boss,� Tony called with a cheeky grin.

“DiNozzo when I told you to come by so we could do the paperwork, I didn’t mean ya couldn’t go home first,� Gibbs said, smirking at Tony’s luggage as the younger man joined him on the elevator.

“My apartment isn’t ready yet, and I don’t wanna get a hotel room if I don’t have to, so I figured it’d be easier if I just brought it with me.�

“Couldn’t you have left it in your car?�

“I um…yeah, I sold my car, Agent Gibbs.�

“Just Gibbs. Why’d you sell your car?�

“To cover moving expenses,� Tony lied flawlessly.

“Or to keep someone from tracking you,� Gibbs countered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Gibbs. Who would want to track me? Everyone I know is glad to be rid of me when I leave.�

Gibbs eyed him carefully but didn’t say anything. There was something about Tony that didn’t sit well with him--oh he liked him--great cop, intelligent investigator, and definitely good looking--but there was something about him…Gibbs took Tony up to the bullpen, showed him where his desk would be, took him upstairs to meet the Director, downstairs to meet Abby and Ducky (he’d met Ducky at the crime scene, but was formally reintroduced for good measure). He got Tony set up in HR to get his badge and ID ordered, and took him out to do his firearms qualification. Tony was instructed that the next two weeks would be spent in Norfolk at FLET-C--the Federal Law Enforcement Training-Camp, and after that he’d be back at NCIS where he’d be formally assigned to Gibbs’ team.

“If you make it,� Gibbs snarked.

Tony then called the apartment office to see if his new home was ready and was told it’d be another day. Tony sighed and picked up the phone to call a hotel when Gibbs shook his head.

“I have an empty guest room, DiNozzo,� Gibbs said.

“Aww Boss you don’t have to do that, really it’s no big deal for me to--�

"Stay at my house. Don’t waste your money on crappy hotel rooms when you don’t have to.�

“Yes Boss, thank you Boss,� Tony said.

xxx

He’d been completely shocked, when they arrived at Gibbs’ house, to find the front door unlocked.

“Boss you leave your door open,� Tony asked, with no small amount of uncertainty in his voice.

“No DiNozzo, I don’t leave my door open; I leave it unlocked,� Gibbs replied.

“But why Boss?�

“I figure anyone who wants to get in here bad enough will do it whether the door is locked or not. This saves me a door and a lock. Besides. Would you want to break into my house,� Gibbs asked with an evil grin.

“No way Boss. Anyone who comes in here unwanted is fair game for whatever he gets,� Tony said confidently, but his eyes gave away his anxiety.
Gibbs noticed, but decided to not make a huge deal out of it. “Usually when I have guests I lock the door at night. So the boogeyman won’t get you, don’t worry.�

“Wasn’t worried Boss. You have my six, after all, right? Isn’t that what you said?�

Gibbs smiled. “That’s right Tony. Come on, I’ll show you the guest room.�

xxx

Tony moved into his apartment and was just getting his things settled when he heard the knock on his door. He wondered who it could be, and checked his gun before he unlocked the door. It should have surprised him more than it did. There at the door stood Declan.

And boy, did he look mad.

xxx

Two years later:

Declan was pissed. Actually, he was livid. He was so angry he could put his fist through Tony’s face. He was supposed to be home hours ago. Declan had specifically told Tony that he should be home no later than 6pm. It was going on 8:30 and there was still no sign of Tony. Where the hell was he?

Declan wondered how many people Tony had told about him. He was willing to bet very few, if any, knew about him. Tony never asked to go out with anyone from work, and he never went for drinks or dinner with them unless it was set up in advance. When Tony did go out, he always drove, never got drunk, and he never stayed out past his curfew. Tony had made that mistake once, back in Peoria, and he’d never made that mistake again. Until tonight. Tony had broken the cardinal rule by not phoning and letting him know he was going to be late.

He was willing to bet that Tony knew the consequences. Declan smiled. He’d make sure Tony never forgot the rules again.

xxx

Tony had never told anyone at NCIS about his relationship with Declan. He hid the abuse well; he always had. Declan punished him regularly for any reason he deemed necessary. Tony made sure to be careful on the job and try not to get hurt. If he got hurt and needed to go to the hospital, then his secret would be out and everyone would know what was going on. Occasionally he’d get bumped or banged up, but he’d always shrug it off and assure Gibbs that he would take care of himself and stop by his doctor on the way home. He never did, but Gibbs didn’t need to know that.

Life was beginning to feel normal here. Tony was making friends. It was finally starting to feel like home. It had been just over two years since Gibbs had hired Tony. Throughout the two years, Tony had learned more than he had ever imagined. There were some times though, when Declan would be especially rough with Tony, that Tony wanted to tell Gibbs. He wanted to tell him what was happening and ask him for help, ask him to watch his six, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.


Flashback:

One thing Tony loved about being at Rhode Island Military Academy, was the difference in the lifestyle compared to being at home with his dad. After all--at least the beatings he got at RIMA were verbal and not physical. He spent most of his time at RIMA hearing how bad he must be--why else would a kid as rich as Tony be in military school?

End Flashback


Once Tony met Declan, it didn’t take Declan long to convince him that he needed Declan’s help him--to teach him to be a better person--even to discipline him if necessary. Declan was doing this to help Tony be a better person--and Tony needed all the help he could get! His father had told him so when he was a kid, along with his RIMA instructors and classmates. Now, Declan easily inserted himself into the role.

Gibbs knew that Tony had a history of moving around every couple of years. He watched his younger partner, and dare he say it--his friend, closely as the time drew to a close on his second year, but Tony showed no signs of wanting to leave or of being unhappy. Gibbs hoped the churning in his gut would relax once the two year anniversary passed and became concerned for his young agent when it didn’t. Something was going on with Tony. It had been going on since before Gibbs hired him, and he just couldn’t put his finger on what the hell it was. But there was something not right here--something Tony was hiding. Gibbs wanted to know what it was.

It was time for an intervention. Gibbs invited Tony over to help with the boat so they could go over the week’s cases. Tony hesitated for a few moments, and Gibbs looked at him pointedly before snapping at him.

“You got somewhere better to be, DiNozzo?�

“Uh…no Boss. Nowhere else better to be. I uh, just need to make a quick call, is all.�

Gibbs narrowed his eyes a bit at Tony’s strange tone, but didn’t say anything, nodding his consent. Tony quickly headed off down the hall where he could make the call in peace and hopefully avoid the thrashing he’d get later if he was late. But Declan didn’t answer--Tony’s call went straight to Declan’s voicemail. He didn’t know that during the day Declan kept his phone turned off so Tony couldn’t call. Tony nearly panicked when he couldn’t get through; he knew that not phoning would guarantee him a punishment. Tony sighed. He didn’t know what to do. He looked up and saw Gibbs standing there expectantly. Tony figured it’d be better to just go and get it over with, than to put it off. The sooner he went, the sooner he’d be home and the less late he’d be.

He hoped.

Thankfully, in true Gibbs fashion, he got right down to business, exactly one and a half cups of bourbon into the evening. “So Tony, you still liking NCIS?�

Tony took a sip of his drink and nodded. “Yeah, Boss. Love my job. Why do you ask?�

Gibbs took a sip of his own drink and thought about his answer. “Well I know from your CV that…well that you move around a lot.�

Tony’s gut rose to his throat. Shit, was he going to get in trouble for this?

“Boss you know how it is; I was young and stupid and had some wild oats to sew. I’m settled now though; I’m here and I like it.�

Gibbs smiled. “That’s good DiNozzo.�

“Am I in trouble or something?�

“No, not at all. I just noticed that there was a pattern. Every two years you left town and switched departments--usually with very short notice.�

“Well Boss, like I said, wild oats,� Tony said, grinning weakly.
Gibbs eyed him carefully. “That all it was?� Tony felt the panic growing in his gut. Did Gibbs know about Declan?

“That’s all it was,� Tony said, hoping Gibbs would buy it. He’d be fired for sure if Gibbs ever found out about Tony’s…lifestyle.

Gibbs handed Tony a sanding block. “Go with the grain DiNozzo,� was all he said, turning back to his work. Tony smiled weakly and began to sand. He loved one-on-one time with Gibbs. He felt smart and cared for with the man, along with the wonderful feeling of being safe. Tony knew he’d pay for it when he got home, but dammit he was his own man and this was a work-related meeting. Tony liked it here.

He’d only stay a few minutes. After all, he was already late.

xxx

The next morning, Gibbs noticed Tony moving a bit slowly.

“You alright there, DiNozzo,� he asked.

Tony’s eyes widened slightly. “I’m fine, Boss. Just not used to sanding so hard. Feeling kinda tight in my arms and shoulders is all.�

Gibbs smirked. “Well if you stick around long enough to help me finish the boat you’ll get used to it.�

Tony smiled. “Will you show me how you get the boat out of the basement?�
Gibbs chuckled. “I’ll show you lots of things if you stick around long enough.�

Tony smiled again, but it was a dim comparison to the other one he’d given Gibbs. Gibbs noticed the difference but he didn’t comment on Tony’s sad smile.

“Gonna head down to Abby’s for a bit Boss,� Tony said.

Gibbs nodded. The team was working on cold cases--there was nothing exciting going on. He didn’t mind if Tony went and entertained Abby for a while.

Gibbs sat down at his desk and watched as Tony walked toward the elevator. The pain wasn’t in his arms--the pain was in his back and legs--obvious from the way he was walking. When Tony came back up a while later, the slight limp was gone and his grin was back in place. Gibbs didn’t realize and Abby didn’t comment on the fact that Tony had taken a two hour nap on her futon. No one noticed that Tony wore all black for several days to hide the blood that would have stained his colorful shirts because he had no one to help him bandage his still seeping back.

xxx

In other news, NCIS Senior Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs, along with his partner, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo made a landmark arrest today in a twenty year old case that had left law enforcement officials baffled for over two decades…

Declan’s eyebrows shot up at the news reporters comments. He’d told Tony more than once that under no circumstances was he to be videotaped, nor was anyone--other than Declan--allowed to touch him. Right there on the TV was a shot of DiNozzo being videotaped, and being patted on the shoulder by some gray headed guy. “Bet that’s Gibbs,� he muttered to himself, eyes glued incredulously to the screen.

That’s when he saw it. When Tony looked at Gibbs, Declan realized that he wasn’t the one Tony was in love with.

And he vowed to make him pay for it.

xxx

Tony was sitting at his desk, thumbing through a cold case file when his phone rang. He figured there would be some backlash from the news crew showing up; normally he managed to duck inside the NCIS truck before he was taped, but today he and Gibbs were the focus of the media--they’d cracked that decades old cold case wide open and there was no avoiding the media circus.


Flashback:

Gibbs had rolled his eyes at Tony’s reluctance and gave him a pat on the shoulder. “C’mon Tony, I got your six. No one is going to notice that you didn’t style your hair to match your tie today,� he had snarked at his senior field agent.

For one split second, Tony forgot that he would get in trouble; he forgot that Declan was probably going to watch the news. In that moment, all Tony could focus on was Gibbs--this man saved him every day; he just didn’t know it. The look of admiration, love, respect and affection on Tony’s face was picked up by the camera, but went unnoticed by Gibbs and Tony.

End Flashback.


“DiNozzo,� Tony answered absent-mindedly, still looking over the evidence logs. Maybe they’d get really lucky and crack open two cases in one week.
“Hey babe,� the voice on the other end said casually.

Tony nearly dropped the phone when he recognized the voice. “Why are you calling me? I’m at work,� he croaked, his voice nearly gone with the shock of the caller.

Gibbs’ attention was caught at Tony’s sudden tone of voice. The face of the normally easy-going special agent was an unhealthy shade of gray, and Gibbs was glad his agent was still seated. Gibbs chose not to say anything at that moment, would wait until Tony was off the phone.

“I know where you are Tony. You let your worthless ass be videotaped after I specifically told you to avoid that. And then…oh and then you let your boss touch you! You broke two rules inside of ten seconds! That has to be a new record for you!�

“You uh,� Tony swallowed and forced his brain to focus. He needed a plan NOW. Shit he was in so much trouble…“You saw the broadcast?�

“Well I was watching the news and imagine my surprise when I see my partner on the television, with some old guy, and you’re just cleaning the streets of all the bad guys. I should be proud of you I suppose, but you had to go and break all those rules. You always break my rules Tony. You need to be punished. You deserve to be punished. You are stupid, after all.�

Tony swallowed again. “No, no I didn’t. I don’t. I’m not.�

Tony felt the mood on the phone drop by a couple of degrees. He glanced up and saw Gibbs and Kate watching him, clearly concerned. He quickly looked away. His whole world was falling apart, right before his eyes--everything he’d worked so hard to put back together was going to be destroyed, he just knew it.

“Are you really trying to grow a spine now? Now of all times? I think you would know better than to try that again. You remember what happened last time you tried to back talk me, right?�

“I remember,� Tony mumbled. God what was he going to do? If he went home and Declan wailed on him, like Tony was fairly certain he would, then there would be no way for him to come to work tomorrow. If he took a sick day, Gibbs was sure to come looking for him--that’s just the kind of guy Gibbs was. If he ended up in the hospital…Tony didn’t want to think about that.

“Yes I thought you might,� Declan growled, “You have plans tonight Anthony. Tonight we are going out for drinks. Meet me at the Adams House Hotel at eight. Alone. We’ll be spending the night.�

“I can’t. I have work tomorrow. If you want to go out for a drink, go out for a drink,� Tony tried to blow him off, “You don’t need me to go hold your hand while you get drunk.�

“No I need you to come suck on my dick while I get drunk,� Declan said, the threat just evident in his voice.

“I gotta go. Don’t call me at work again,� Tony said, and hung up the phone. He stared at it for a moment like it had betrayed him, and then felt the sting of bile rising up his throat. He shot up out of his seat and ran for the men’s room, unaware that Gibbs and Kate were still watching. He didn’t see Gibbs nod at Kate before standing and following Tony to the men’s room.

Tony heaved and retched into the first toilet he saw, emptying his stomach of the wonderful lunch he’d eaten along with everything else in his stomach. He finally rocked back to sit on his heels, head dipped low to his chest, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Reacting on pure instinct, Tony grabbed the hand and shot to his feet, spinning Gibbs around and slamming him into the wall before he even realized who it was.

“What the hell are ya doin, DiNozzo,� Gibbs asked, his voice muffled by his face being planted into the tile wall.

Tony blinked. Oh God. He’d just…oh he’d ruined everything now.

“Boss!� Tony quickly let go of Gibbs and backed away, “Jesus Boss you scared me! Don’t sneak up on a guy like that!� He paused for a moment, seeing the way Gibbs was looking at him. “Your uh, your arm okay Boss? I kind of um…twisted it.�

Gibbs took a step toward Tony who instinctively backed up, expecting the blows that were sure to rain down on him because of his actions. Tony had often wondered what it would be like to receive Declan’s form of discipline from a man like Gibbs…he feared he was about to find out.

“I’m really sorry Boss, and I know you always tell me not to apologize, but I don’t normally grab my Boss’ arm and twist it up behind him and…Ohmygod I slammed you into the wall too…Jesus Gibbs I’m really, really sorry…I just--�

Gibbs took another step forward. “Enough,� he said quietly, though his voice held no malice, no anger, only…concern? He watched Tony step back again, this time planting his back against the wall of the toilet stall. Every muscle in Tony’s body tensed. He looked like an animal, ready to pounce and fight to get away. Gibbs stayed where he was; he knew if he moved any closer the younger man would bolt.

“You alright Tony?�

Tony tugged at his shirt collar nervously. “Sure Boss, great, fine, why wouldn’t I be? Just another beautiful day in the Navy Yard? We’re just catching all the bad guys today and making the world a happy place.�

Gibbs was not impressed. “Who was on the phone, Tony,� he asked softly. “What’s got you so keyed up?�

“Ah no one important, just an old acquaintance. You ever have those people that, once you move away, you thank God you don’t have to deal with anymore? Yeah…one of those people.� I’m in hell, Tony thought to himself. And I am in so much trouble if Gibbs ever figures out I’m lying to him. “But it looks like I’m going to have to deal with him some more. That’s all Boss. Just a disappointment, you know?�

“Tony you looked like you were going to pass out on the phone. I would say that isn’t just some mere dislike for someone. You looked…� this would get a reaction for sure, “You looked scared, DiNozzo.�

Tony scoffed. “Me? Scared? DiNozzos don’t get scared Boss. We get mad, we get even, but we do NOT get scared.� We get terrified.

Gibbs wasn’t buying it. “Right,� he said slowly. “I have to admit Tony. To just about anyone else, you’d have them fooled, it’s why you’re so great at undercover work.� He stepped closer again and watched as Tony paled a bit more and swallowed hard. “But, you’re not fooling me. You’re scared. So spill. Who was it?�

Tony was scared, and he needed time to regroup. He had to get away; he had to think. The urge to push Gibbs out of his way and run was strong, but he knew he wouldn’t lay a hand on Gibbs--not after what he’d already done. He swallowed hard, again.

“Relax Tony,� Gibbs said gently. “It’s me. I’m not going to hurt you. I want to help you. I’ve got your six, remember? Whoever this is has you scared--even of me. I don’t think less of you for it; I just want to help.�

Tony blinked. “If you want to help me then leave it, Gibbs,� Tony snapped. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I need to get back to work; I have to leave before eight tonight, Gibbs. I have plans,� he gently shouldered his way past Gibbs, leaving his boss standing in the bathroom by himself, completely shocked.

Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and called down to IT. “I need you to look up a number for me. The last number that called Agent DiNozzo’s phone. Extension 1562. Call me when you have it.�

TBC…

Chapter 3: Breaking Rules

As the afternoon pressed on, Gibbs grew more and more concerned for his Senior Field Agent. Tony was still pale, and now he appeared to be sweating--he looked shocky to be honest, and Gibbs wondered what this Declan O’Sullivan could have said to upset Tony so badly. It hadn’t taken the IT department long to produce the man’s name and the address (which was the same as Tony’s). Declan’s background check had come back clean except for the underage drinking charges that he’d racked up in the bar that night in Philadelphia. It was interesting though, that those charges were filed right before Tony left Philadelphia. That was the catch though--this guy had lived in all the same places as Tony, going back to Tony’s days at OSU. Gibbs didn’t say anything, just continued to search and try to find more information on this guy. Gibbs wanted to know why O’Sullivan scared his agent so badly.

He looked harmless enough; but, Gibbs had to admit, even to his mostly closeted bisexual side, that Declan was a good looking man. Not as good looking as Tony, but that was another thought for another day. Gibbs refused to let himself think about any feelings he had for Tony. Tony was not gay, not bi, and not interested in Gibbs in any sort of sexual way. Some lonely nights, Gibbs found himself wondering what it would be like to have his sexy senior agent around in a more…personal capacity, but thanks to Rule # 12 that would never happen.

Gibbs looked at the clock. 17:30. “Go home people,� he said. Kate picked up her bag and Gibbs noticed that she stopped by Tony’s desk before she left. She spoke softly to him and he nodded at what she said without looking up, still engrossed in his work. Kate finally gave up after a few minutes and left.

Gibbs’ cell phone beeped and he pulled it out. Text message. He opened it.

FROM: Kate Todd
Worried about T. Not himself. Says he’s going to work longer. â€"K.

Gibbs sent Kate a message saying he’d take care of it, and then glanced over at Tony who was still hard at work at his desk. “Go home DiNozzo. It’ll still be here tomorrow,� he said walking out of the bullpen.

The doors to Abby’s lab hissed open, and Gibbs was surprised that there was no music playing this afternoon.

“Still here Abs?�

Abby turned and gave Gibbs a hug. “Still here Bossman, what’s up?�

Gibbs hated that Tony wouldn’t just talk to him. “Have you talked to Tony this afternoon? He got a phone call and hasn’t been right since.�

Abby’s eyes rounded a bit. “I haven’t seen him at all this afternoon. Who called him? What’d they want? Why is he so upset?�

Don’t you think I’d be skipping this conversation if I had those answers, Gibbs thought to himself. “I’m not sure who it was. I just know something’s not right. See what you can get out of him, but don’t let on like you know about the phone call though.�

Abby nodded. “You got it, Bossman.�

A moment later, Tony’s computer screen blinked, catching his eye. Tony rolled his eyes every time he saw his messenger name pop up.

AbbysLabby: What ya still doin’ at work Tonyboy?
2Hot2b2ic: Cold case Abs. What’s up?
AbbysLabby: You working late?
2Hot2b2ic: Maybe y?
AbbysLabby: Jw…wanted to see if you wanted to grab drinks?

Drinks was the last thing he wanted to grab, but he needed something to keep him occupied. There was no way Gibbs would let him stay until it was time to go meet Declan and Tony didn’t dare show up at home before then either.

2Hot2b2ic: Sure.
AbbysLabby: Great I’ll be up in 5.
2Hot2b2ic: k.

Gibbs easily read the lack of enthusiasm in Tony’s affirming words. He imagined Tony’s shoulders slumping even more, if that was possible.

“Gibbs, Tony and I are going for drinks. You want to join us?�

“Not tonight Abs. Tonight I need you to get Tony to talk about whatever it is that is bothering him.�

Abby eyed her favorite Senior Special Agent carefully. “I think he would rather talk to you, Bossman. You’re his friend--he trusts you. Why do you think he wouldn’t want to talk to you?�

Gibbs sighed. “Because he told me he didn’t want to talk about it, Abs.�

Abby’s jaw dropped a bit. “Oh. Wow. That’s crazy. I’ll try. Do you want me to call you later and give you the down low?�

“It’s not necessary, unless you think something is hinky. I just want to know Tony’s opening up about whatever it is and not bottling it all up. But if it’s something dangerous, I want to know about it.�

“You got it.�

Gibbs smiled as he stepped back on the elevator. “Good girl,� he said.

Gibbs wasn’t surprised to see Tony still sitting at his desk when he returned to the bullpen a few moments later. “Thought I told you to go home DiNozzo. Work day’s over, time to go.�

Gibbs wanted Tony to leave--he wanted him to act normal. This--this was not normal. Normally when Gibbs said go, Tony was up and out the door before Gibbs could change his mind. No, this was bad.

He noticed that Tony didn’t move and he was still working on the evidence logs. The same ones he’d been trying to concentrate on all afternoon long.

“DiNozzo!�

Tony looked up. “Yeah Boss?�

“Did you not hear what I just told you to do?�

“I’m meeting Abs for drinks. I was just waiting for her to come up.�

“Well why don’t you shut it all down so you’ll be ready for her when she comes?�

“I’m almost done Boss. Just got one more log to do.�

“Good then you’ll have something to do tomorrow.� Turn it off Tony, just do what I’m telling you to do--jump like you always do when I give an order--please just act normal. You’re scaring me, Gibbs thought to himself.

He saw Tony sigh.

“On it Boss,� he said dejectedly.

Gibbs heard the elevator ding and a moment later Abby flitted over to their desks. He hoped the spunky little Goth could pull whatever was bothering Tony out of him, before Tony did something stupid. Like run.

A thought struck Gibbs. He moves every two years. This guy has lived every place he’s lived in. Were they together? Or was Tony running away from the guy who keeps showing back up. There had to be a connection there. Gibbs didn’t believe in coincidences. He just needed to figure out what the connection was.

Gibbs watched as Tony and Abby made their way out of the bullpen. Abby was chattering away about something and hanging on Tony’s arm, and Tony looked like he was being dragged to the guillotine. Gibbs pulled up the information he’d gathered about Declan O’Sullivan.

“Who the hell are you,� he asked quietly, “and how are you connected with Tony?�

xxx

Abby dragged Tony to their usual place. She ordered their drinks and after the first round, went back and ordered the second. Tony was unusually quiet and tense tonight--something was definitely up. She set his drink in front of him and moved behind him. She grabbed his shoulders to massage them and was surprised when he flinched away.

“Tony are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I?�

Actually yes. You probably reopened three welts that had finally stopped bleeding. “Ahh…No Abs, you didn’t hurt me. Surprised me is all.�

“But I always rub your shoulders when we drink like this!�

“I know, just…got a lot on my mind today. Distracted I guess,� he said easily.

Abby started rubbing his shoulders a bit more gently, not noticing the initial grimace on Tony’s face. Finally the grimace began to fade as she gently worked out the kinks in Tony’s back. He was glad he was wearing his waterproof windbreaker, so the blood wouldn’t seep through to her hands. That would raise too many questions. After a few moments Abby felt him begin to relax into her touch. “Want to talk about it,� she asked quietly.

“Not really,� Tony said.

“C’mon Tonyboy you can tell me. You know you can tell me anything,� Abby pleaded with her friend.

Tony took a healthy slug off his drink. “I know Abs. I just…I just am not ready to talk about this yet. I will tell you though. One day I will explain everything.� If I don’t have to leave first, he added silently to himself.

xxx

Tony begged off after only two drinks, much to Abby’s dismay. Tony kept a close eye on the time and knew that it was 6:45 now. Where he was with Abby was about a half hour’s commute to the Adams House Hotel. Tony knew he needed to keep his wits about him, though he would love to just drink himself into oblivion and not think about the situation at hand anymore tonight. He knew there would be hell to pay for both the videotape, Gibbs patting his shoulder on tape, him smarting off on the phone and THEN hanging up on him. He didn’t want to think about the “discipline� that Declan would inflict on him for all those things he’d done wrong.

Tony shook his head ruefully as he pulled out in traffic. He should not have stayed at the bar as long as he did. All he’d done was open himself up for Declan to be angry with him when he was late showing up. He expected this, but after nearly ten years, Tony realized that he wanted to relax--he wanted to believe that he could have his own life and that it didn’t have to include all of the things Declan wanted.

As Tony drove, he let his mind wander. There was someone in his world who was more important to him now, more important than Declan had ever been. Gibbs. Gibbs did it for him--Gibbs cared for him more than any person ever had. In the two years he’d been working with the man, Gibbs had proven to him countless times over how important Tony was, how precious, how irreplaceable. It made his heart feel warm and his stomach feel fluttery. It made him want to get up and go to work every day. It made him want to turn his back on his past and forget about who he was, and just focus on who Gibbs thought he could be. It’s what inspired him to move in the first place.

But more than that, Tony knew that he was in love with his boss. He loved him with every cell of his being, and though he wouldn’t ever mention that to Gibbs, it was why he stayed, why he put up with the shit, why he put up with Gibbs being such a hardass. But Gibbs was not like Declan. Sure he had a temper, hell Tony had a temper, but Gibbs wasn’t cruel. More importantly, Gibbs never, ever hurt Tony. Tony had spent lots of time wondering what it would be like to be punished by Gibbs, but he was beginning to think that Gibbs wouldn’t be the type to punish him. Not like Declan anyway.

Tony guessed what it all came down to was the fact that when he was with Gibbs, he felt safe--safe like he’d never felt before in his life. He felt safe and he felt loved--not necessarily romantic love--but loved and cherished in a way that made him feel special. Important. Like he was worth something. Like he did not deserve to have this asshole calling him on the phone and giving him orders. Like maybe…maybe there could be life without Declan.

Tony pulled into an all night pharmacy and parked the car. He let out a long breath that sounded more like a sigh and got out. It was best to be prepared. He knew it was going to be a bad night.

xxx

Tony glanced in his basket before letting out a long breath and stepping up to the checkout counter at the pharmacy across town from both his apartment and NCIS. He turned the charm on full blast when the cashier asked him how he was doing, and he hoped that his conversation would be enough to stifle the girl’s curiosity about his purchases. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she slid the items across the scanner.

Gauze pads. Beep.

Band-aids. Beep.

Adhesive medical tape. Beep.

Antibiotic ointment. Beep.

Tylenol and Ibuprofen. Beep. Beep.

Hydrogen peroxide. Beep.

Steri-strips. Beep.

Wrist supports. Ankle braces. Ace bandages--one in each size of course. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

He saw the girl raise an eyebrow without comment at the concealer make-up. Beep.

Ice pack. Beep.

Cordless heating pad. Beep.

A box of heavy duty, lubricated condoms. Beep.

One tube of lube. Beep.

“Your total will be $54.96,� the cashier stated in her bored tone, around the piece of gum she was chomping on. It wasn’t until then that she really considered the combination of items this customer was purchasing.

“Someone getting beat up,� she asked.

Tony laughed off her strange question. “Nah, I have a long weekend off from work and my…friend and I, we’re going camping this weekend…last time we got lost and didn’t have anything we needed. This time we figured it’d be better to be prepared for any possible emergency,� Tony said, charm on full blast.

The girl eyed him carefully. “Right,� she said slowly, drawing out the word. “Well. You and your ‘friend’ have fun,� she said, a bit of snark in her voice, and she handed him his bags. Tony thanked her and made his way out of the store as quickly as possible, thanking the powers that be for twenty-four hour pharmacies.

He got in the car and locked the doors behind him. He sat for a long time staring at himself in the rearview mirror.

Someone getting beat up? The cashier’s words haunted him. He grimaced at the way he’d laughed it off and looked at his reflection in the mirror, imagining the bruising around his eye and the very swollen fat lip that he knew he would probably soon have. Tony wasn’t sure he’d be able to fight Declan off or stop him on his own. Just like all the other times, Declan would win, and Tony would be stuck, left tired, beaten up, and alone to figure out how to pick up the pieces and act as though nothing was wrong.

Finally shaking his head in disgust, Tony started his car and backed out of the parking place. Just before he pulled out in traffic, he glanced at himself one more time, willing the image of his beaten, defeated self to leave his mind.

“Someone getting beat up,� Tony asked himself mockingly. After a moment, his quiet voice answered his own question. “Yep. Me.�

xxx

Tony slowly cracked his one good eye open and blearily looked around. His gaze settled on the alarm clock on the bedside table beside the bed. 0914. Tony shot up out of bed, groaning when his whole body screamed in pain, and then dove for his cell phone--which was in multiple pieces on the floor. Shit, shit, shit. He’d be lucky if Gibbs didn’t fire him over this!

Part of Tony just wanted to sit on the floor and cry in frustration. Now he was breaking GIBBS’ rules too! He knew he’d messed up yesterday by breaking Declan’s rules, but he never ever wanted to disappoint Gibbs. Tony looked up and saw Declan still asleep on the bed. Declan had whipped him with his own belt last night--the belt that was now covered in his blood--and had left his back a bloodied mess, covered in welts and bruises.

He pulled on his clothes and realized that everyone would notice the shape he was in this morning. No amount of makeup would cover up the bruises that Declan had adorned him with. He only hoped that he could come up with a good story, a believable story, one that would get him off the hook for looking like he barely survived the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. He stepped into the bathroom and groaned when he turned on the light at its sudden brightness. Wow he looked bad this time. Declan had really done a number on him.

Tony washed his face as best as he could, and quickly tried to bandage his back, to no avail. Tony sighed as he pulled his bloodied black shirt back on and tried to fight down the grimace. Declan’s words from the previous night snapped through his mind like the crack of his belt.

Worthless.

Useless.

Pathetic.

Irresponsible.

Stupid.

Fat.

Ugly.

Hideous.

Over and over again those words burned into his mind. He stepped out of the room and quickly ran down the hall. He decided to not try calling Gibbs before just going to work, knowing that would only get him yelled at for wasting time. He got in the car and started it before looking at himself again in the mirror.

He shook his head once, put on his sunglasses, and didn’t look at himself again as he drove away.

xxx

In the bullpen, Gibbs was pacing like a rabid dog, waiting to attack…something. He’d tried calling Tony. Tried seventeen times. No answer. Went straight to voicemail every single time. Each time he’d grown a bit more concerned. He’d called Tony’s home phone number and got no answer there either. His gut was churning. Gibbs was not a happy man. He didn’t like it when he couldn’t find his agents. And Tony had never broken Rule # 3 before.

Yesterday Tony had been talking about having plans, but he hadn’t seemed excited about them, and he’d flat refused to tell Gibbs who the plans were with. Gibbs heard the elevator ding and swung around. He couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping in shock when he saw Tony stagger off the elevator. It seemed the whole bullpen had a similar reaction. All conversation ceased and every head turned to look at Gibbs’ Senior Field Agent.

Gibbs was the first to recover. He saw how Tony was staring at everyone as though trying to think of what to say. Gibbs walked right up to him and backed him right back onto the elevator, hitting the button for autopsy as the doors slid shut.

“What happened to you, Tony,� Gibbs asked softly, his eyes wide with concern, taking in the beaten image of his senior field agent.

“Got mugged, Boss,� Tony said softly, his eyes on his shoes, and words slightly slurring around his busted mouth, “leaving the Adams House last night.�

“Did you see the person?�

“Nah, he was wearing a mask and it was pretty dark in the parking garage.�

“He get anything?�

Tony had left his wallet and his watch in the car on purpose. “Got my wallet and my watch,� he said softly. “My cell phone got busted, too.�

“Let’s get Ducky to check you out then we’ll get you home. You need to rest.�

“Aww Boss it’s sweet that you’re worried about me, but I’m fine! I’ve worked with worse injuries than this before,� Tony snarked at Gibbs. Silently he pleaded, Oh please God don’t let him send me home! Please, please, please…

Gibbs ignored Tony’s sarcasm. At least if he was at work, Gibbs could keep an eye on him. “We’ll see what Ducky says,� he conceded. “I won’t make you go home unless Ducky says you need it.�

Tony nodded. He knew that Declan wouldn’t be home until much later, but he still didn’t want to spend any more time with the man than he had to. But how could he explain that to Gibbs?

xxx

Turns out he didn’t have to. Tony did a fantastic job of hiding the welts on his back, and getting Ducky to focus only on his face which had been pulverized. He had to admit though, it was a bit nice to have someone fussing over him.

“You have quite the black eye my dear boy, but fortunately you aren’t showing any signs of concussion. The sensitivity you have to light could easily be explained by the trauma to your eye.�

Tony nodded and held the ice pack Ducky had given him to his face. 20 minutes on. 20 minutes off. He knew the rules. He would obey the rules. He looked at Gibbs.

“Sorry about being late this morning Boss.�

“Just glad you’re alright DiNozzo. C’mon. The work isn’t going to do itself.�

Ducky watched the two go, and as the elevator doors slid shut his eyes narrowed. Gibbs had spoken to Ducky late the previous evening and told him that he felt like Tony was hiding something. Now, Ducky had to agree. Their beloved Anthony was hiding something. Ducky wagered it wasn’t a pleasant secret and hoped that he would share it before whatever it was became too terribly dangerous for the young man.

xxx

In the bullpen, Tony and Gibbs were surprised to find Director Morrow. “Ah, there you are Agent Gibbs. I just came to inform you and your team that you’re off rotation for the next two weeks. Take a vacation. You’ve all been working yourselves to the bone, and you need a break. Your vacation starts after lunch today and runs until two weeks from Monday. I better not see any of you in here during that time,� he said. “Enjoy yourselves.�

Kate squealed in excitement. Gibbs rolled his eyes at the forced inactivity, and Tony…for a split second Tony looked like he might have a heart attack right there.

“Aww c’mon Director that’s really not necessary! I mean we all took the weekend off just two weekends ago, and I was off a few days last week when I got back from that undercover op--I really don’t need two whole weeks off,� Tony hedged.

Kate spoke up before Gibbs could cut him off. “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, Tony--if someone gives you two weeks of paid leave, smile and say thank you! Besides, you can go to the beach or something and work on your tan…you’re kinda pale these days,� she snarked at her partner.

Tony plastered a phony smile on his face. “Thank you Director,� he forced out. He hoped he’d live to see the end of his vacation.

TBC…

Chapter 4: Break Down

Declan stretched and yawned, his body spanning the length of the bed as he uncurled from sleep. He absently rubbed his side as he sat up, drawing a sharp breath when pain from the new bruise caught him. Tony had gotten in a good hit last night before he’d finally gone down. Ah well. No matter. Declan climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom.

After relieving himself, he flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth before stepping into the shower. The water sluiced over his body and he scrubbed himself clean under the hot spray. Declan paid careful attention to his hands--his nails and fingertips still had blood on them from the night before, and he couldn’t leave evidence of his activities. Once clean, he shut the water off and stepped out of the tub. He quickly shaved while admiring his toned physique and the elaborate serpent tattoo that curved up his right arm before he styled his dark, auburn tinted hair.

Returning to the bedroom, Declan pulled on his sweat pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. After giving himself one last glance in the mirror, he stepped out of the bedroom and walked down the short hallway to the living room. Surprisingly, at some point during the previous eight hours Tony had dragged himself to the sofa, leaving blood smears on the carpet. For a moment, Declan was concerned. He wasn’t sure how he’d cover it up if Tony died while in his company. Kneeling beside his unconscious lover, Declan gently felt Tony’s neck, looking for a pulse.

Panic rose in his gut for a split second before…oh yes. There it was. Satisfied that Tony was still alive, Declan stood back up and scowled as he noticed the state of the apartment. The place was a disaster! Over the last few days, Tony had really been falling down on his responsibilities to keep the place clean. And the blood--oh yes, couldn’t overlook the blood. The rug on the floor would need to be cleaned, as well as the door frame and the kitchen counter. Tony’s body had hit many surfaces in the apartment in the last few days.

Declan smiled as he remembered his surprise at finding Tony at home when he had returned from the Adams House Hotel the previous week.

Flashback:

“What are you doing here,� Declan asked, his eyebrows wide in surprise.

“Director Morrow gave us a mandatory two week vacation,� Tony said sullenly, his eyes on the floor.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a vacation coming up?� Declan asked sweetly, walking over and wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist. He pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Tony’s mouth. “I got a little carried away last night, didn’t I,� he said regretfully, looking at the state of Tony’s face.

Tony nodded. “I deserved it though,� he said softly, “I broke the rules.�

Declan nodded. “Yes you did. And you didn’t answer my question,� he said a bit more menacingly. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a vacation coming up?�

“I didn’t know about it until I got to work this morning! They don’t give you a lot of warning--they’re part of the military! They make a decision and you live with it. I swear I didn’t know about it.�

“Keeping secrets will only get you into trouble, my sweet Tony,� Declan said, cupping one hand under Tony’s jaw, choking him slightly. Tony coughed weakly.

“W-wasn-n’t,� he croaked as his air was completely cut off.

Declan slammed him back into the wall, Tony’s head knocking hard against the drywall surface, his vision blurring. “Liar,� he sneered. “You know what happens when you lie to me,� he growled.

End flashback.

Yes, the place was a complete mess and needed cleaning. He certainly couldn’t let Tony out of the apartment looking like he did though; that would just be asking for trouble. Declan would have to go to the store and pick up some cleaning supplies himself. Tony could clean up the mess he’d made once he came to.

Declan locked the door behind him, and was halfway to the store before he realized he’d left Tony’s keys and cell phone in the apartment. He briefly considered turning around, but there was no possible way Tony would wake up and be able to leave before he got back. Besides, Tony wasn’t that stupid; after all, Declan had spent years breaking Tony’s will down. He’d struggled for control at first, but once he’d learned of Tony’s abusive father he used the information against Tony, his Psychology degree being put to use, and before long his boy knew not to break the rules. And Tony leaving would mean intentionally breaking Declan’s first rule.

xxx

The first thing he registered was how cold he felt. Tony swallowed thickly and gazed blearily around his living room. Gasping in pain as he pushed himself up on the sofa (and silently praising himself for having made it there before collapsing) Tony registered the time on the cable box; it was almost three in the afternoon. He was a week to the day into the team’s forced vacation, and he knew he needed help.

He wouldn’t make it another week.

Tony managed to sit up, one arm wrapped protectively around his ribs, the other quivering as he braced himself on the cushion. He didn’t want to fall. He wasn’t looking forward to a broken rib puncturing a lung, and Tony was smart enough to know that Declan wouldn’t call him an ambulance.

Tony took stock of his body, trying to understand why every inch of him hurt. Glancing down, Tony quickly concluded that every inch of him was hurt. Well that explains the pain, he thought to himself. His head felt like it had been kicked in, and each breath brought a knifing pain through his chest, but he vowed that he would find a way out of this damn apartment. He realized he was covered in blood and wondered if that was why he was still feeling so dreadfully cold.

Tony forced himself to his feet and leaned heavily against the wall, ignoring the pain in his ankle and his bad knee. He began to stumble through the apartment, and as he leaned against the wall he left a bloody smear in his wake. Declan had yet to appear, despite the noise he made as he moved around. After wandering through the whole apartment, Tony realized he must have left. Declan was gone. He’d left Tony alone. Tony let out a slow breath and sighed in relief. He had a chance to get away.

Normally Tony would take Declan’s discipline without complaining or trying to escape. After all he’d gotten himself into this situation. But throughout the past week, Declan had taken advantage of Tony’s forced inactivity. On top of the expected verbal abuse, Tony had been beaten, raped, and starved every day since Director Morrow had sent him home from work. Tony had tried in vain to explain to a surprised Declan his job was similar to being in the military--sometimes you were just given leave and told to scram for two weeks. Declan hadn’t appreciated the reference.

Tony finally made it over to the door of the apartment and found his phone and his keys in the bowl on the table. He was surprised that Declan hadn’t taken them with him. Then again, Tony thought, he probably didn’t expect me to wake up, much less move around. He grabbed the items and staggered out. He had to get away before Declan came back. Tony knew he wouldn’t survive if Declan got the chance to attack him again.

Limping badly, he staggered into the elevator, glad that the building superintendant had gotten tired of complaints and now kept it operational. He knew he was admitting defeat to call someone and ask for help, but he also knew he couldn’t do this on his own--if he stayed he’d be dead. He let out a sigh and grimaced in pain as he stepped off the elevator and headed out the back door, his fingers finding the number 2 button on his cell phone. He hit the button and waited for an answer.

“Yeah, Gibbs.�

“B-boss,� Tony’s scratchy voice barely carried through the phone, and he was still so cold.

“DiNozzo? You alright?�

“N-not really, Boss.�

“Where are you?�

“I’m uh,� he broke off shivering, “I-I’m i-in th-the a-alley b-beh-hind m-my a-apart-t-m-ment,� he finally forced out, his body wracked with chills.

“You hurt Tony?�

“Yeah Boss. I uh…need help. Please Boss,� he whispered.

“On my way Tony. Ducky is with me. You just sit tight and hang on.�

Tony heard a noise at the front of the alley. “Shit,� he whispered, “he’s back,� and nearly dropped the phone in his haste to duck behind the dumpster. Declan rounded the corner with a bag of Tony’s bloody clothes in his hand.

“--updating the fuckin’ system! Damn bank, makin’ me drive all over this shit town, giving the sonofabitch time to leave,� he was muttering to himself, “but I’ll kill him when I find him. Fuckin’ pansy won’t run away from me, next time I’ll break both of his goddamn legs.�

By some grace of God Tony managed to stay completely still and silent until Declan went back into the building. Apparently, Declan was trying to clean up the evidence of the last week. Tony lifted his phone to his ear again.

“B-boss,� he asked, uncertain if Gibbs was still on the line or not.

“DiNozzo what the hell is going on?�

Tony flinched; he understood that Gibbs was mad at him; he should be mad, he shouldn’t be calling him while they were on vacation.

“This was a m-mistake,� Tony whispered. “Sh-shouldn’t have called, I’m, I’m sorry,� he said and he quickly hung up.

He stood up from behind the dumpster, not hearing the last words Gibbs said to him, but he moved too fast and as soon as he stood up his head began to swim and darkness edged his vision. He made it three steps before his ankle refused to hold him up anymore and he collapsed to the ground, just as the navy blue charger pulled into the alley, rolling to a stop right in front of the unconscious agent’s body.

xxx

Gibbs was pissed at the director for forcing them to take leave. He was concerned for Tony--obviously something was up because Tony argued about taking a vacation. He wanted Tony to trust him, to talk to him, to tell him what was going on. But Tony hadn’t said a word, and Gibbs feared he never would.

He’d spent some quality time with his boat since he’d been “on vacation.� He felt like he needed to connect with someone; it wasn’t too often that he felt lonely, but it did happen. So he’d called Ducky and invited him over for some steaks--they had to eat dinner early so Ducky could get home to his mother. They’d just sat down to eat when Gibbs’ cell phone rang with Tony’s name on the caller ID.

Ducky knew how Gibbs felt about Tony--both from what he had said and had not said. Ducky urged Gibbs to answer the phone; if Tony was finally reaching out they would be remiss to not step up.

“Yeah, Gibbs.�

Ducky watched as Gibbs’ eyes widened when he heard whatever it was Tony was saying. He didn’t voice his concern as Jethro paced nervously around the room. It was a cool spring day; one of those days when the sky is brilliantly blue and the air is clear. Gibbs was wearing jeans and an old sweatshirt. Ducky himself was wearing casual slacks and a sweater. Like the MCRT, Ducky and Abby had been given the mandatory time off as well.

Gibbs’ voice was calm, but Ducky knew this was only for Tony’s benefit--the man was visibly disturbed by whatever it was Tony was telling him. Gibbs was quiet for a long moment and Ducky could just barely make out the sound of Tony’s voice on the speaker. He couldn’t hear what Tony was saying, but understood it was time to leave. Gibbs had his car keys in his hand and was already motioning with his head for Ducky to follow him. They were in the car and backing out of the driveway in record time.

On the phone, Gibbs could hear some rustling, it sounded like Tony was breathing hard, and his agent was shivering. God, he’s cold--sounds like he’s freezing. I know it’s a cool day today, but what would make him feel that cold? Hell, thought Gibbs, he admitted he was hurt. Gibbs pushed a bit harder on the gas and weaved in and out of traffic.

Gibbs eyes suddenly widened.

“TONY! TONY CAN YOU HEAR ME! TONY! DAMMIT DINOZZO ANSWER ME!�

Gibbs was quiet for a moment, listening for any sound he could hear coming through the phone. He swerved off the exit with a round of blaring horns and turned right heading to the light. A few moments later, Ducky figured Tony must have responded, because Gibbs calmed slightly.

“DiNozzo what the hell is going on,� Gibbs snapped into the phone. Ducky knew it was because Gibbs was scared; he also knew that Tony would likely misinterpret it. Gibbs’ eyes widened again at Tony’s next words and he ran through the intersection turning left while the light was red.

Gibbs pulled into the alley behind Tony’s apartment building just in time to see Tony stagger out from behind the dumpster and collapse.

“Tony!� Gibbs was out of the car before it fully stopped and was running to his senior field agent’s side. He gently supported his body, and turned him over, putting Tony’s head in his lap.

“Ohmygod…Oh Tony,� Gibbs whispered taking in the damage, not sure what to say.

Ducky appeared from behind him with a blanket from Gibbs’ trunk. “Here let’s cover him, Jethro,� Ducky said, spreading the blanket over the still form. “My dear boy, you’ve taken quite a beating,� Ducky said softly. “We should call an ambulance,� he said.

“No,� Gibbs snapped. “Think about it, Duck. Whoever did this to him is close by; why else would Tony hide when he’s outside his own building? If we call an ambulance then we just alerted whoever did this that Tony’s here and he’s getting help. Besides, I have a feeling that Tony’s been trying to keep this a secret.�

Ducky considered this for a moment. “You think this has been going on for…�

“For longer than we’ve known him Ducky,� Gibbs said sadly, cradling Tony against him as gently as he could, trying to share some warmth, trying to stop the terrible shivering.

“I was afraid you’d say that. Well if we aren’t going to call the poor fellow an ambulance, we should get him to your car. He needs to be in a hospital, Jethro.�

At that moment, Tony groaned and his eyelids fluttered.

“Tony,� Gibbs said softly, lightly tapping Tony’s cheek in an effort to get the younger man to come around. “Tony can you hear me? Time to wake up, c’mon now. Wake up Tony, you with me?�

Tony groaned again and his eyes cracked open. Well one did. The other one was swollen shut completely. Gibbs didn’t know how Tony had managed to see to get out of the back of the building, let alone find his cell phone and call for help. His chest swelled with pride at his agent’s strength.

“B-boss,� Tony slurred softly, a touch of wonder in his voice, as though he was surprised that help had actually come. “R-really heeere?� One trembling, blood covered hand lifted and grabbed Gibbs’ arm weakly.

Gibbs ran his fingers through Tony’s hair softly. “Yeah, DiNozzo. I’m really here. Ducky’s here too. We’re going to get you up Tony, but you let us do all the work alright? You just focus on staying awake. We’re going to drive you to the hospital.�

“N-no,� Tony whimpered. “C-can’t,� he said softly.

“Not up for discussion, DiNozzo. I’ll stay with you; I’ve got your six.� Gibbs thanked God that he’d managed to convince Tony to make Gibbs his power of attorney. “C’mon, let us help you. Nice and slow, there we go.�

Gibbs and Ducky slowly helped Tony to his feet, supporting him carefully when his legs struggled to hold his weight. With Tony between himself and Ducky, Gibbs continued his gentle, encouraging mantra all the way to the car. Tony didn’t even try to hold his head up, instead letting it rest heavily on Gibbs’ shoulder.

Gibbs supported all of Tony’s weight while Ducky got another blanket to put down in the backseat before helping Jethro get Tony in the car. Tony had tears streaming down his face and when Gibbs moved to back out of the car, Tony grabbed his sweatshirt.

“Sorry I bothered you,� he whispered, “Never needed anyone before…nobody…ever willing to help…thought I could handle it…thought he loved me…Declan doesn’t love me…it’s never been this bad before, please don’t be angry…I didn’t realize…didn’t know I was in so deep…I just…I had to get out,� Tony begged him, tears still streaming down his face.

Gibbs leaned over Tony and ran a gentle hand over Tony’s forehead. “Shhhh…I’m just glad you finally decided to let us help you,� he said softly. “Don’t worry. It’s alright now. You’re safe. I will protect you,� Gibbs promised and he backed out of the car. He noticed that Tony was watching his every move, and the younger man nodded slowly before leaning back and closing his eyes.

Ducky climbed into the backseat and carefully moved so Tony’s head was resting in Ducky’s lap. “Easy now dear boy, just relax and let us care for you. We’ll have you patched up in no time.�

Gibbs backed out and with a squeal of tires. None of them had noticed the face in the window on the fifth floor. Declan stood looking out over the alley, watching as Gibbs gently touched and cared for his Tony, before carefully putting him in the car and driving away.

“Oh you think you can have my boy that easily, Gibbs? You don’t get to have him. Tony’s mine. He just needs reminding. He won’t leave me. He’s mine. You’ll never have him. I’ll make sure of that, one way or another,� Declan’s quiet voice almost echoed in the otherwise silent apartment.

xxx

Gibbs called Bethesda on their way, to alert them that they were bringing Tony in. He was instructed to pull around to a private entrance, to avoid questions from curious patients in the Emergency Room. A team of medical professionals waited for them by the door with a stretcher and blankets as Gibbs pulled to a stop. Gibbs gently lifted Tony out of the car and onto the stretcher.

Tony’s hand reached out from under a blanket and latched on to Gibbs’ wrist as he turned to get back in the car to go park it.

“N-nooo,� he whimpered, “Don’t…don’t leave…please don’t leave me,� he said softly.

Gibbs looked at Ducky. “I’ll park your car Jethro. Go with Anthony and help keep him calm,� Ducky instructed. Gibbs nodded and stayed with Tony as they moved him inside and the initial personnel left to alert the required specialists.

“Want me to call the team, Tony?�

Tony’s face took on a look of panic as he shook his head and then grimaced. “Easy,� Gibbs said. “I won’t call them if you don’t want me to,� he assured Tony.

Tony let out a soft sigh of relief. A doctor came in and looked in Tony’s eyes. “You have quite the concussion young man. What did you hit your head on?�

Tony blinked slowly at him. “Which time?� His soft, trembling voice was barely audible.

“What do you mean,� the doctor asked, confused.

“I mean which time I hit my head, doc,� Tony whispered.

The doctor looked at Gibbs with a concerned expression. “Tony how many times did you hit your head,� Gibbs asked him.

Tony thought about it…well he tried to think about it, but he just couldn’t figure it out. “Lost count,� he said softly.

Gibbs and the doctor shared another look. “Right,� the doctor said. “Well we will just get you fixed up then. I don’t foresee you being able to go home anytime soon,� he said regretfully. Tony’s eyes widened in fear.

“B-but I have to go h-home; De-Decl-lan’ll…D-Declan’s there,� Tony said softly, trying to sit up. Gibbs made a silent vow to make this bastard Declan O’Sullivan pay for ever laying a finger on Tony.

Gibbs put gentle hands on Tony’s shoulders and eased him back. “Declan isn’t going to hurt you ever again, Tony. Just relax.�

Tony’s eyes widened in fear as he comprehended what Gibbs had just said. “We’ll talk about it later, Tony,� Gibbs assured him softly. “Relax.�

But Tony didn’t want to relax. He was in the hospital--but he needed to get away; Declan would be mad at him for being in the hospital--for letting their secret get out--for asking for help. He needed to go. Tony forgot how hard he’d struggled to escape earlier that afternoon. Now he fought against Gibbs, pushing and shoving against him, trying to get off the stretcher. HE. HAD. TO. GO. What the hell had he been thinking?

Gibbs was trying to help him lie back down, attempting to get him to calm down and trust him, to listen; Tony was having no part of it. Tony knew he had to get away--he couldn’t stay here like this. But Gibbs’ hand closed over his own and just…held it. Momentarily distracted by Gibbs’ gentle touch, Tony didn’t see as Gibbs nodded to the doctor when he held up a syringe. He didn’t see as the doctor quickly inserted it into the IV tube that had been attached to the back of Tony’s hand by a nurse upon his admission to the hospital. A moment later, Tony visibly slackened in Gibbs’ arms, gazing at the IV tube, gasping when he realized that they’d given him something…and then he had the sensation of falling…

Tony let out a strangled moan as he collapsed fully into Gibbs’ arms, eyes fluttering closed as his body settled into a drugged sleep. Gibbs gently eased him back onto the stretcher and straightened the blanket around him.

“Easy Tony,� Gibbs said softly, brushing the hair back from his second’s bloody forehead. “Just rest now. You’re safe. I’ve got you.�

Tony’s eyes fluttered open and he looked at Gibbs, though Gibbs wasn’t sure how Tony was still fighting the medication. Tony’s foggy eyes stared at Gibbs for a long moment before they fluttered closed again.

“Been waiting Boss…�

Gibbs blinked and looked up at the doctor who looked equally confused. Just what was Tony waiting for?

TBC…

Chapter 5: Break Through

A few hours later, now in a private room on a different floor in the hospital, Gibbs sat next to the figure in the hospital bed. He was still trying to understand what in hell was going on and how things had gotten so bad for Tony without him even realizing it. In his mind, he categorized the injuries Tony had again, feeling his fists reflexively tighten in anger.

Tony’s collar bone was broken.

Severe concussion from multiple head traumas.

Fractured cheekbone.

Five broken ribs.

Badly bruised arms; bruises that could only come from defending or protecting oneself.

Shattered right ankle--the surgeons were hoping for success with plates and pins--it was still unknown how it had gotten so badly damaged.

Tony’s left knee--the one he’d injured in college playing football--would possibly need an operation to be repaired.

And then, there were the internal injuries. The doctors were carefully monitoring his kidney and liver production. His spleen was swollen and inflamed. It looked like he’d been raped repeatedly. They learned that Tony had an ulcer as well. Gibbs sighed. Stan Burley had an ulcer too--it was why he left the team to go be an Agent Afloat. But Gibbs was willing to bet that Tony’s wasn’t the result of working for Gibbs.

Gibbs leaned forward in the chair, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands.

“Why didn’t you let me help you sooner, Tony?� He whispered, quietly questioning the sleeping man on the bed.

He wondered how Tony had managed to not only stand up, but to get out of the building and out back to the alley with all of these injuries. Just about any one of them could have been enough to stop a normal man in his tracks. Gibbs knew that it was the adrenaline rush coupled with Tony’s will to survive that had gotten him out of that apartment.

Unfortunately, because of his injuries and the way he’d struggled and fought in the ER, it had been decided that it would be best if Tony were restrained--at least until he could calm down and think rationally. Gibbs reluctantly agreed to let them, under the condition that he stay with Tony at all times. The Velcro straps still pissed Gibbs off, regardless of the reasoning.

There was a knock on the door and Gibbs raised his eyes, immediately alert. Ducky entered quietly, carrying a thermos of coffee and accompanied by Tony’s doctor.

“How is Anthony?� Ducky asked softly, gazing at the unconscious man on the bed.

“Still sleeping off the sedative,� Gibbs said, taking the thermos. “He hasn’t moved at all.�

The doctor checked Tony’s pupil response, his blood pressure, his temperature, and his bandages. Then he turned on the light and set about waking Tony up.

“What are you doing,� Gibbs asked him. Wouldn’t it be better to let him sleep for a while? To rest before having to face all this?

“I need to check how coherent he is,� the doctor explained, shaking Tony’s shoulder opposite the broken collar bone. “Mr. DiNozzo? Mr. DiNozzo I need you to wake up.�

Tony groaned and Gibbs knew, he knew Tony wasn’t going to like the restraints--he was going to hate them.

Tony blinked one eye open--the other was still swollen shut. He glanced around blearily, before his gaze settled on the strange man standing over him--and he freaked out. Gibbs quickly stepped close and began speaking softly, trying to calm the desperate man.

“Shhhh Tony it’s okay, it’s Gibbs. I’m right here. This is your doctor; shhhh it’s alright,� Gibbs stated, coming to Tony’s aid when the doctor didn’t speak up.

Tony’s gaze slid over to him. “B-bosssss,� he slurred.

Gibbs smiled reassuringly. “I’m right here.�

Tony moved to raise his hand and realized quickly that he couldn’t. “W-what…Boss?�

“You were fighting the doctors Tony. Tryin’ to leave.�

“Mr. DiNozzo, my name is Dr. Tomkins. Can you tell me where you are?�

Tony looked around. “H-hosssspit’l,� he slurred.

“Very good. Can you tell me your birthday?�

“J-July…8th…1972,� Tony whispered. This was so exhausting, why wouldn’t they just let him sleep? God his head hurt. Scratch that. His whole body hurt. He groaned.

“I know it hurts. Just a couple more questions.�

“No Doc,� Gibbs spoke up. “He’s had enough.�

“I need to complete the concussion check. It’s imperative that--�

“Dr. Tomkins, I believe Anthony has proven his coherency. He recognized Agent Gibbs, he knew he was in the hospital and he could tell you his birthday. The boy is obviously in pain; it’s time to let him rest,� Ducky spoke up, taking control of the situation before Gibbs lost his temper.

Tony groaned again, and his hands twitched in the restraints. “Take ‘em off Boss,� he pleaded, ashamed of the way his voice cracked. “Please…I’ll…I’ll be good…I won’t fight…Boss please…� Tony stopped himself, not ready to admit that Declan had him tied up at some point during this nightmare.

Gibbs nodded though. He understood. The restraints were reminding Tony of his recent nightmare. “Get the restraints off of him,� he ordered the doctor.

“Now Agent Gibbs we talked about this and we both ag--�

“Ducky get this guy out of here and get me a damn doctor that will listen,� Gibbs snapped, undoing Tony’s restraints on his wrists. “It’s okay Tony, I’m right here. You have to stay calm though, or they’re going to put the restraints back on and I won’t be able to stop them alright? Can you do that?�

Tony blinked a couple of times and then nodded slightly as Ducky escorted the angry doctor out of the room. Gibbs sat down on the edge of Tony’s bed and looked at this man that he had grown to care for so deeply. Gibbs gently pushed some of the hair back from Tony’s forehead and refused to let himself think about what Tony had said just before he succumbed to the sedative in the Emergency Room.

“Boss� Tony’s voice was quiet, his breathing hitching in pain.

“Yeah, DiNozzo; you need something?�

“Li-lights…�

“Oh hell, hang on,� Gibbs said quietly, standing to turn off the main light in the room, leaving only the dim glow of the light above Tony’s bed.

“You wanna sleep?� Tony blinked and then shook his head. No.

“Well if you aren’t going to sleep, then we’re going to talk. How much do you remember about what happened?�

Tony blinked at the Gibbs’ firm question. “I uh…well Gibbs I was he-heading t-to the store a-and…and th-this g-guy--�

“Don’t lie to me DiNozzo. It won’t work. Tell me about Declan.�

Tony closed his eyes and looked away. Gibbs let out a long breath and waited for Tony to answer. Finally Tony opened his eyes and looked back to Gibbs.

Gibbs immediately noticed sheen of tears in his agent’s eyes.

“Ya know Boss, ever since I was a kid…everyone’s always told me I’m such a fuck up and…and that I always break the rules…everyone. And then…y’know for years I convinced myself I could leave whenever I wanted to, that I wasn’t like the vics in the seminars. I mean, I’m the screw up. But, I tried to leave him…tried when I moved here, swear Boss. He found me. Always finds me.�

“How long Tony? Because I gotta tell ya…looking at you like this…You can’t take much more, DiNozzo.�

“Met him at college, Boss…almost ten years,� Tony whispered, looking away again.

Gibbs put his finger on Tony’s chin and faced his second. “You don’t deserve this Tony; no one does,� Gibbs told him.

Tony’s eyes widened slightly.

“Not your fault,� Gibbs told him.

Tony’s eyes widened slightly. “Is my fault,� he insisted. “Keep breaking the rules. Father always said I was ‘hands on’ project,’� he said sadly.

Gibbs thumped him very gently on the side of the head. “You’re not stupid, Tony; you called me. You got help. That makes you smart. Strong. Reason I hired you in the first place.�

There was silence as Tony stared at Gibbs, broken only by a poorly hidden yawn. "Rest Tony, I’ve got your six."

Gibbs sat back down on the hard plastic chair and picked up the thermos, watching as Tony’s eyes slid shut. It was going to be a long night.

xxx

It wasn’t long after Tony fell asleep that Ducky came back in quietly with a new doctor, an attractive young woman named Dr. Brown.

“He just fell back to sleep about twenty minutes ago,� Gibbs told them softly.

Dr. Brown nodded. “I won’t wake him. I just want to take a look and see how he’s doing,� she said softly. Her gentle fingers quickly checked his injuries and Tony didn’t even stir under her ministrations. Gibbs liked her immediately. She’d take good care of Tony.

“Do we know who did this to him,� she asked softly.

Gibbs nodded. “His domestic partner.�

She sighed sadly and nodded her head. “We unfortunately see a lot of abuse,� she said. “Do you know if the other doctor ordered any blood tests to check for STDs or infections?�

Gibbs wasn’t sure of the answer. Ducky spoke up. “No my dear. He was more concerned with the concussion and broken bones.�

The doctor narrowed her eyes a bit. “We should do some tests. I don’t want to overlook anything.�

Gibbs spoke up. “Is there a way to do it without waking him up? He was pretty tired and hurting pretty bad,� he said.

The doctor nodded. “I can do it painlessly,� she said. “Give me just a minute.�

“Don’t you need a lab tech or something to come do it?�

“Normally I would…however after everything Agent DiNozzo has been through, I’m willing to bet he’s feeling pretty traumatized. The fewer strange faces we throw at him, the better off I think his emotional state will be, and it will take less time it will take for him to heal physically if he’s cared for emotionally as well. I’ll talk to the staff and make sure he gets the same nurses on rotation and I will be his doctor--if that is agreeable for you, Agent Gibbs.�

Gibbs blinked. He’d never encountered a doctor so in tune with her patient’s needs. She was concerned for his physical, mental, and emotional health. She wanted to make sure that his family was on board with her plan and was asking his opinion…Gibbs blinked again.

“That’s uh…that’s good,� he said, still shocked.

“I’m just going to go get my supplies to do the blood tests and I’ll be right back,� she said softly. She checked his chart. “I’ll get him something for the pain, too.�

Gibbs nodded and the doctor left the room. Gibbs turned to Ducky. “Where’d you find her,� he asked. “I like her. She’s smart.�

“Indeed Jethro. She is a wise girl and a good doctor. She will take good care of our Anthony.�

“He talked to me a bit Duck, before he fell back to sleep,� Gibbs commented.

“Oh?�

Gibbs nodded. “He’s been with this guy for ten years. Finally just now realizing how serious the situation is. Think he’s scared, Duck, but he’s not admitting it.�

“Anthony is a strong boy to have weathered this on his own for so long,� Ducky said.

Gibbs nodded. Ducky watched his friend carefully. “The question remains,� Ducky said softly, “What are you going to do with the information you have?�

Gibbs looked at Ducky through narrowed eyes. “What are you talking about Duck?�

“Are you going to go after his partner?�

“Tony gets some say in that. We didn’t get that far.�

“I’m impressed you got as much information as you did. Anthony is a very private person. The fact that he asked for help at all speaks of his realization of the seriousness of the situation.�

“I just don’t understand why I didn’t know any of this before,� Gibbs said, running a hand over his forehead.

“Jethro I hardly think we can blame Anthony for not telling you about his sexual orientation, nor can we blame him for not telling you about his abusive partner. I’d wager that he’s been hiding this for so long that he doesn’t know how to talk about it.�

“He should have known he could trust me, Ducky!�

“It isn’t a matter of trust, Jethro; it’s a matter of survival. The fact that he called you says a great deal about his trust in you. As for his sexual orientation, we work for the Department of the Navy--we aren’t military, but we are close enough that Don’t-Ask-Don’t-Tell is a consideration. Anthony enjoys working at NCIS--working for you Jethro--and you’ve had his six more times than he can count. I think you represent something to him that he is sadly unfamiliar with.�

Gibbs sighed. “And what would that be?�

“Safety Jethro. I’d imagine that is something he is quite unused to having. For now I must get back to my mother and the Corgis; I’ve been gone a bit longer than I had planned. But, I’ll check back in on both of you tomorrow. � Ducky quickly gathered his hat and coat before leaving Gibbs sitting silently in the room.

A moment later the doctor popped back in. She pulled the rollaway table close to where she was standing and set down her supplies. Gibbs eyed the equipment skeptically. “What� he asked while pointing to a sterile package, “is that?�

She smiled. “This is a butterfly needle. It’s a 25 gauge which is the smallest needle we have on supply here. It’s actually most frequently used on children; it’s usually quite painless for adults. I should be able to take the blood sample without waking him. This alcohol swab has lidocaine in it as well to numb the skin a bit before I stick him.�

She quickly unwrapped the alcohol swab and the needle and lifted Tony’s limp, sleep heavy hand from where it rested against the side rail. “Was he restrained?�

Gibbs ran a hand over his forehead. “He kept trying to pull out his IV and leave the hospital. He was fighting me and the doctors…we were afraid he was going to hurt himself more. I unstrapped him as soon as he woke up though. He’d calmed down enough that he wasn’t fighting anymore. The restraints scared him…I think his partner may have had him tied up or restrained at some point…�

Dr. Brown nodded. “It’s difficult to see people who are normally so strong and confident be in such a vulnerable position,� she commented, swabbing Tony’s hand with the alcohol wipe. Tony didn’t even flinch.

Gibbs wondered at this empathetic doctor who took such great measures to ensure her patients’ comforts. “He’s very strong and confident,� Gibbs said softly, his voice clouding with emotion slightly. “One of the strongest people I know,� he said. He watched as Dr. Brown deftly inserted the needle into the back of Tony’s hand. Tony didn’t move, continuing to peacefully sleep.

She quickly drew the blood sample she needed and removed the needle. “That worked quite well,� she said, making a note on his chart of what types of needles to use on Tony. “I spoke with the nursing staff. JoAnn will be your night nurse and Stephanie will be your day nurse. They’re both very highly qualified and smart girls who care deeply for their patients,� she said.

Dr. Brown picked up the syringe she brought with her. “This is a low dose of morphine,� she said, inserting the syringe into the port in Tony’s IV and began very slowly injecting it. “The dose will last about four hours and should get us through until it is time to start prepping him for surgery on his ankle.� She eyed Tony’s splinted ankle and elevated and swollen knee. “Do you know when his orthopedist is going to repair his knee?�

“He didn’t say…he was talking more about the busted ankle…You know, Tony walked out of his apartment building and called me to come get him,� Gibbs said quietly.

Dr. Brown’s eyes widened. “He walked out,� she murmured, shaking her head. “The wonders of adrenaline.�

Gibbs nodded. “I don’t know how he did it; I’ve been thinking about it since he was admitted and I still can’t figure it out. But, he made it out back and hid behind the dumpster and called me to come help him.� Gibbs paused and shook his head. “He’s worked for me over two years now…you’d think I would have noticed…something,� Gibbs said, his voice full of guilt.

Dr. Brown shook her head. “Not if he didn’t want you to notice,� she said. “Abuse victims are experts at hiding things--think of them as undercover operatives,� she said, not realizing how good Tony was at undercover work. At least that made sense now, Gibbs thought dryly. No wonder DiNozzo was one of the best undercover agents around; he certainly got enough practice. Gibbs turned his attention back to the doctor as she began to speak. “These people know that their key to survival is to keep their abuse a secret. Often they even feel they deserve it, which plays into the emotional abuse that typically goes with severe abuse like this.�

Gibbs looked at his sleeping agent and sighed. “He’s so strong--always putting everyone else back together. He brushes off serious injuries as though they’re paper cuts.�

“That’s probably because he wants to hide either the cause of his injuries, or hide injuries from the abuse that would show up if he were examined for something else.� Dr. Brown reached for Tony’s blood sample. “I should get this to the lab. I’ll leave you two to get some rest. If you need me just hit the call button. I’ll check back in a couple of hours.�

Gibbs thanked her and she left the room. He stood up and paced around a bit, trying to wake himself up. He needed to stay alert in case this O’Sullivan bastard showed up. Tony groaned softly on the bed as he shifted a bit, but he didn’t wake up. Gibbs sat down on the edge of the bed and carded his fingers through Tony’s hair.

“This is too much for you to handle alone, Tony,� Gibbs whispered. “Please,� he begged, “please don’t shut me out.�

Gibbs moved down to sit in the chair by the bed, holding Tony’s hand gently in the dimly lit room, the gentle beep of the heart monitor letting him know that all was well with his agent. Tony was here. He was safe and would recover. Gibbs would make sure of it. He would be with him every step of the way. It was with those thoughts and the reassuring beep of the monitor that he let himself fall into a light doze.

xxx

A few hours later, Dr. Brown opened the door to enter the room with Tony’s surgeon. Dr. Brown smiled sadly when she saw Gibbs asleep with his head on the bed, one hand gently holding Tony’s. The instant the door opened fully, Gibbs was awake and on his feet, his eyes wide, his body tense. He was in full protector mode, Dr. Brown realized.

“Easy Agent Gibbs. It’s just me and Dr. Corkran, Tony’s surgeon. We just came to check and see how he’s doing. Sorry we startled you.�

Gibbs ran a hand over his eyes and looked at Tony. He hadn’t moved since Gibbs sat down next to him, some three hours earlier.

“We need to do a concussion check,� Dr. Brown said. “I’m sorry to have to wake him up, but it’s very important to make sure his brain function doesn’t deteriorate.�

Gibbs nodded. He’d had enough concussions of his own to understand that.

A few minutes later, Dr. Brown nodded her head and told Tony he could go back to sleep. Tony looked around sleepily for a minute; Gibbs was sitting beside him and he realized that his boss was holding his hand. Feeling safer than he’d felt in years, he nodded his head slightly and went back to sleep.

Dr. Brown patted Gibbs on the shoulder. “He trusts you,� she said softly. “He feels safe with you. So what I’d like to do, if it is alright with you, Agent Gibbs, is have you in recovery tomorrow so you’ll be there when he comes around.�

“That is highly irregular, Dr. Brown,� Dr. Corkran stated.

She quickly turned on him. “I am his primary physician here; what I say goes. It would be in Agent DiNozzo’s best interests for us to let Agent Gibbs be there when he comes out of the anesthesia. Don’t argue with me on this one Ron,� she said, “you’ll lose.�

Dr. Corkran eyed her for a moment, and then relented with a slight nod. It wasn’t like it would really hurt anything for Agent Gibbs to be there. It just wasn’t standard operating procedure, the doctor thought to himself.

Dr. Brown turned back to Gibbs. “I believe having you there would cut down on his anxiety, and we will be able to avoid the use of the restraints.� Gibbs nodded. He didn’t want them to tie Tony down again.

“I’m glad to do whatever is best for Tony,� Gibbs said.

Dr. Brown smiled. “Alright then. The anesthesiologist will be in at about 0600 to prep him for surgery. It’s fine to let him sleep until then. I’ll do one more concussion check before then, but other than that we can let him rest.� She looked from the doctor to the special agent and back to the doctor. “You should get some rest too,� she said softly to Gibbs. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.�

TBC…

Chapter 6: Break The Cycle

The next morning Gibbs watched with a churning gut as his second in command was wheeled away to surgery.

Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and called Ducky, asking him to stop by his house and bring him a change of clothes.

“I would be glad to Jethro. How is dear Anthony this morning?�

“They’re operating on his ankle. Said the surgery would take about three or four hours. The x-rays showed a lot of damage.�

“It’s still a wonder that Anthony got out of the building on his own.�

“He talked to me a bit before he went back to sleep last night.�

“About…?�

“Said he’s tried to leave, but the sonofabitch keeps showing back up. Thinks he’s different from the people we hear about in the workshops--I dunno Duck. His old man taught him early on and Declan picked right up where the old bastard left off….After all this time I think he thinks he deserves this.� Gibbs sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “We can’t let him go back there, Duck. We have to help him.�

“Jethro that isn’t your decision to make. It is up to Anthony.�

“We’re not gonna sit on our hands, Duck. We’re gonna do something,� Gibbs snapped.

“We can be there for him when he needs us, Jethro. Nothing more, nothing less. We can advise him to look out for his safety, but we have no control over what he does. All we can do is encourage Anthony to make decisions that will keep him safe.�

Gibbs sighed and ended the call. He knew Ducky was right--but wait. Even if Tony elected to go back to Declan, that didn’t mean Declan would have any right to visit Tony while he was in the hospital. Perhaps that would give Tony the chance he needed to distance himself from the bastard’s control.

After Gibbs got off the phone with Ducky, he stepped down to the nurses’ desk on his way to the Surgery Waiting Room. “Hi,� he said quietly to the pretty red-haired nurse sitting at the desk. “I’m looking for Stephanie.�

The nurse smiled. “I’ll page her. What room do you need her in?�

“Actually I’m on my way to the surgical waiting area.�

The nurse nodded and paged Stephanie. A few minutes later, the nurse Gibbs learned was Stephanie joined them at the nurse’s desk. She was a middle aged woman, with dark swirling curls streaked with gray and a friendly smile. “Can I help you?�

Gibbs stuck his hand out. “Special Agent Jethro Gibbs. I’m concerned for Agent Anthony DiNozzo’s safety here,� Gibbs said quietly. “Is there any way we can restrict who gets in to see him?�

“Visitor restrictions are determined by the patient’s next of kin, and here in the Intensive Care Unit we only allow family and medical proxies to visit. Would that be sufficient?�

Gibbs shook his head. “I’m not sure…the person we need to keep away is Tony’s domestic partner. We have reason to believe he’s the one who did this. But they aren’t legally married and I am his medical proxy.�

Stephanie’s eyes widened slightly and she nodded, sitting down at the computer behind the desk. “Let me check and see what options we’ve got.�

It wasn’t long before she printed a form. “This is a specialized visitation plan Agent Gibbs. Fill this out and you can select who can visit and who can’t.�

“Well I’m not planning to leave him, but I’d feel better knowing that there is a paper trail set up so that if we need to pursue more…restrictive measures, we’ve covered all of our bases.�

“That makes sense,� Stephanie agreed. “Once the form is complete, we’ll get it keyed into the system and get Agent DiNozzo all squared away.�

“Tony,� Gibbs said quietly.

“I beg your pardon,� Stephanie asked.

“He likes to be called Tony. Says ‘Agent DiNozzo’ is too formal for occasions outside of work.�

Stephanie chuckled. “Good looking and a sense of humor. He’s a rare breed, Special Agent Gibbs.�

“Just Gibbs.�

Stephanie smiled even wider. “It seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, ‘Just Gibbs,’� she quipped.

Gibbs smirked. “Yeah. You’re right though. Tony’s a pretty unique guy.�

Stephanie smiled. “He’s lucky to have you on his six, sir,� she said. Gibbs nodded. “You’ll be in the surgery waiting area while Agent DiNozzo is in surgery, right?�

“Yes.�

Stephanie smiled. “I also understand that you’re going to accompany Ag--er, Tony in the recovery room when he wakes up?�

Gibbs nodded.

“Excellent,� Stephanie said. “Dr. Brown briefed me on the situation. I think it’s great what you’re doing. Not many employees have supervisors who are so supportive. He’s lucky.�

“Thanks,� Gibbs said gruffly.

Gibbs decided only Declan and DiNozzo Senior needed to be restricted from Tony’s room. He didn’t want to take any chances of anyone or anything trying to screw with Tony’s recovery. His agent had a long enough road ahead of him.

Gibbs knew he’d be able to stop the team from coming in if need be. Kate would respect Tony’s wishes, and Abby would just have to deal with the situation. If Tony didn’t want anyone to see him yet--that’s what he would get.

He returned the clipboard, form, and cheap black pen to Stephanie and set off for the Surgery Waiting Room, content in the knowledge that Tony would be safe and protected even in his absence.

xxx

Tony heard voices speaking, but couldn’t make any sense of it.

“You sure he’s awake? He’s always had a tough time coming out of anesthesia.�

“Just keep talking to him. He’s showing signs of consciousness. Sometimes it just takes a few minutes.�

Tony felt fingers in his hair, combing gently.

“C’mon DiNozzo, time to wake up. Open your eyes, c’mon now.�

That was Gibbs’ voice. But what was he doing? Didn’t he realize how terrible Tony felt? Tony just wanted to sleep. However, his boss’ voice kept calling to him, and he found it impossible to ignore. Slowly, very slowly, he cracked his eyes open.

The blurry figure in front of his face eventually coalesced into the image of Gibbs. Where were they? Based on the sounds Tony was hearing, he was willing to bet he was in the hospital. But what had happened? The last thing he remembered was…Declan…then the hospital…then restraints…and now this. What was going on?

“Attaboy Tony. That’s good work, DiNozzo.� Gibbs turned away from Tony. “Excuse me, nurse? His eyes are open.�

“I’ll go get Dr. Corkran for you, Agent Gibbs.�

“Thank you.�

Wait. Gibbs never said thank you--ever. Tony blinked a couple of times, each blink clearing his vision a bit more.

Gibbs was sitting beside him now, fingers still in his hair, the other hand was holding his…what did this all mean?

“You had to have surgery on your ankle Tony. The doctor put pins and plates in it to hold the bones together. But don’t worry, you’ll be up and sparring with me in the gym in no time.�

Gibbs took in Tony’s foggy gaze and half smiled. “You with me?�

Tony finally nodded slowly, eyes blinking and then sinking shut. “Hey…try to stay awake for just a minute, DiNozzo,� Gibbs said. “The doctor’s gonna be here in--� the sound of a curtain pulling back, “now,� Gibbs said quietly.

There were bright lights then, and pokes, prods, and general discomfort all around. Then they were moving and the lights were flying past his head, and Tony felt like he might throw up, but decided to just close his eyes and hopefully he’d sleep a bit more. Later, Tony wouldn’t know if he actually fell asleep or if it was just an after effect from the medication, but images from his past floated through his mind.

Attending the Alpha Chi Delta rush party. Meeting Declan.

Taking Behavioral Psychology at Ohio State University. Having class with Declan.

Drinking beer at Declan’s apartment and getting more trashed than he’d meant to. Spending the night with Declan.

Taking Psych courses for his elective credits while he majored in Physical Education. Being dragged around by Declan.

Declan scoring low on the GRE and getting depressed. Declan threatening to commit suicide. Begging Tony not to leave him. Tony staying.

Police Academy in Columbus. Being doubted by Declan.

Working at Peoria as a beat rookie. Being smacked by Declan the first time.

Working as a police officer in Philadelphia. Being cheated on by Declan.

Becoming a Detective in Baltimore. Being raped by Declan the first time.

Running away to Washington DC. Being found by Declan.

Working at NCIS and breaking Declan’s rules. Being punished by Declan.

Each bright point in his life was dimmed by dark memories of that man.

xxx

It was a couple of hours later when Tony woke up again. He was back in his room in the ICU; Gibbs was sitting beside him working on a crossword puzzle. Gibbs glanced up when Tony made a sound as he shifted slightly.

“Hey,� Gibbs said softly, putting the book on the rollaway table and moving closer to Tony.

“Mmmm hey,� Tony sighed.

“How ya feeling?� Gibbs poured a cup of water as he spoke.

“Might throw up,� Tony whispered.

“Concussions and anesthesia can do that. Here, have some water. Might help.�

The straw slipped between Tony’s lips and he drank a couple of sips before using his tongue to push the straw away. “Tha’s ‘nuf,� he slurred softly.

Gibbs placed the water back on the tray, “Feelin’ better Tony?�

Tony blinked his eyes open when Gibbs dimmed the lights. He stared up at his boss. “Had the weirdest dream Boss,� he said quietly.

“What’d you dream about Tony?�

“It’s uh, it’s hard to explain, Boss,� Tony said uneasily.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow. “Try.�

“It was like some bad Hallmark movie…got the Sparknotes version of my time with Declan.�

Gibbs eyed him carefully. “Learn anything?�

Tony sighed. “Nothin’ new,� he mumbled.

Gibbs sat down on the edge of Tony’s bed, taking care not to jostle him due to his injuries. “Talk to me, DiNozzo.�

Tony was quiet for a long moment, his eyes were closed and Gibbs almost believed Tony had gone back to sleep in the middle of their conversation.

“Usually you tell me to shut up,� Tony said softly after a few minutes, as his mind cleared. To his horror there were tears in his eyes. Oh good God he wasn’t going to cry now was he? Now? After everything that had happened?

Gibbs was back in front of his gaze. “Usually you let your mouth run off without your brain. I want to help, Tony.�

“I need to find a way,� Tony started to speak then broke off, swallowing hard. “I need to get out. I need to break this fucked up cycle. ‘M a federal agent, Boss…shoulda been smarter.�

“Being a federal agent doesn’t have anything to do with it. This isn’t your fault, DiNozzo.�

"How can you say that?! It is my fault, Gibbs! I shoulda been stronger than this! But I’m so fucked up I thought I deserved what I got! And I hid it from you--I’m no better than--Tony broke off, gasping for air with an arm wrapped protectively around his ribs.

“Shhhh. Take it easy, DiNozzo. Calm down. We can work all this out. But, you’ve gotta trust me, Tony.�

Tony stared at his boss--and dare he say it: his friend?--and wondered if Gibbs knew what a difficult request that was.

“Not sure…how to…do that, Boss,� Tony whispered. His voice was slurring--not from painkillers for once, but from pure exhaustion. “Dunno how to…trust anyone. Nev’r had ‘nyone…t’trust before you--only trust…myself.�

“That’s kept you alive Tony, and that’s good. But I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to do it all alone anymore. I want to help you. Ducky would like to help you too. But the choice is yours.� Gibbs sighed. He needed to reassure Tony, but it was so hard to force the next words out of his mouth. “Whatever you decide is best for you Tony…we’ll back you all the way.�

Tony blinked his heavy eyelids and stared at Gibbs. “What…if I decide…decide…go back?�

Gibbs’ gut clenched. He prayed that Tony wouldn’t choose that. “Tony we’re your friends…your family. We want you to be safe and unharmed. We would advise you against going back, but we--I can’t stop you. I won’t stop you. It’s your choice, DiNozzo.�

Gibbs moved back down to his chair, signaling that the conversation was over. Tony considered what Gibbs said. It’s your choice, DiNozzo.

Tony managed a small smile as he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

xxx

Tony sat at his desk and wondered why Gibbs kept staring at him. “What’s the matter Boss? Do I have something in my teeth?� Gibbs ignored him.

Kate entered the bullpen. “What’d you find out, Agent Todd?� Gibbs asked Kate. He didn’t take his eyes off of Tony.

“He grew up in an abusive home, and had been in the abusive relationship for about ten years. He met the guy in college. Never had many close friends. After graduation, the two of them moved around a great deal--about every two years.�

“You learn anything about the suspect?�

“Graduated with honors from the same school as the victim, in the same year. Degree is in Psychology, with a focus on human behavior and conditioning. Never was able to find a job in the field. He didn’t score high enough on his GRE so he wasn’t accepted into any credible masters programs. Gibbs no one takes a BA in Psych seriously--at least not without experience to add to it--even if the person only wants to be a counselor.�

“I don’t take any counselor seriously.�

“I know that, but some people do consider the opinions of licensed counselors to be quite valuable.�

“Back to the situation, Agent Todd. We need to find this bastard.�

“Boss I have a theory,� Tony cut in. Gibbs completely ignored him and continued looking at Kate.

“Neighbors reported hearing lots of noise at all hours from the couple’s apartment. The next door neighbor reported that once or twice she thought she heard the sounds of someone begging, but wasn’t sure--thought it might have been the TV--so she didn’t call the police.�

Gibbs rubbed his forehead and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Boss I think I know what’s going on here--� Tony tried again, and was surprised when Gibbs stood up and walked away without comment.

“I’m going down to Ducky’s. Good work Agent Todd. Keep digging. I want to know everything about this guy from the minute he was born to how he takes his damned coffee.�

“On it boss,� Kate called as the elevator door began to slide shut. Tony jumped into the elevator with Gibbs at the last second.

“Want to take a look at the body,� Tony commented, staring at the chrome door of the elevator.

Gibbs sighed. “Why, DiNozzo?� His voice was soft in the elevator.

“Um…so I can see exactly what we’re dealing with here, Boss,� Tony retorted. Why was Gibbs ignoring him? Had he pissed Gibbs off that badly?

Tony followed Gibbs into autopsy without saying anything more. “What do you got for me, Duck?�

Ducky sighed. ‘He looks old,’ Tony thought, but didn’t verbalize it.

“Ah Jethro. I didn’t expect you so soon. I…well I was just about to begin. Join me over here please.�

“Hi Ducky,� Tony called, pausing to look at the x-rays before following the other two men across the room.

“It appears, Jethro, that our young man died from a blunt force trauma to the left temple. As you can see here,� Ducky turned the victim’s head to face away as Tony approached, “His temporal bone was actually crushed. The amount of bruising and the open wound indicate to me that the blow probably came…� Ducky paused for a moment, seemingly to collect himself. “The blow most likely came from a kick with a steel-toed boot.�

“I just…I don’t want to believe this, Duck,� Gibbs said quietly. “Shoulda seen the warning signs. Hell Ducky, I did see the warning signs. I shoulda helped him.�

Ducky turned the victim’s head back, and then covered the body with the sheet, covering his face. “There was nothing we could do for him, Jethro. You know that as well as I. This was a choice that he made based on his feelings. It is a shame though…such a waste of a brilliant young mind. Step into my office. I keep a bottle of excellent bourbon there, though I had hoped I would never have reason to open it.�

Tony wanted to look at the body, so he didn’t follow Gibbs and Ducky just yet. He watched as the two men stepped into Ducky’s office and the older man gave one last look at the autopsy table before he closed the door. Once he was sure Gibbs and Ducky weren’t coming back out, Tony stepped closer to the autopsy table.

Something had everyone acting weird and ignoring him. Even Gibbs--what had he done to piss Gibbs off?

Whoever died was obviously someone they all knew well, they were even depersonalizing the victim by not saying his name--they seemed so sad and…guilty? But however the rest of the team felt, that was no excuse for ignoring him!

With his frustration giving him courage, Tony took the last step to the table and, after a deep breath, pulled the sheet back.

Suddenly it was all too clear to him why no one was speaking to him, why no one was looking at him, why Gibbs was staring at his desk, why he and Ducky were having a drink before the ME performed the autopsy. It made sense why no one listened to him when he spoke, and why the victim’s partner sounded so much like Declan.

Tony stared down at the victim’s body and gripped the side of the table to keep from falling. The victim’s face was heavily bruised, and the indentation in the skull was obvious even to Tony. Tony continued to stare at the victim, wondering what his thoughts had been before Declan killed him. Tony looked at his own body on the table and wondered if Ducky would question his corpse.

Why hadn’t he trusted Gibbs more?

Why had he failed his team?

Tony let out a shaky breath and looked away from himself.

Would Ducky ask Tony to tell him how he died?

TBC…

Chapter 7: Break In The Clouds

Ducky came by with Gibbs’ change of clothes and shaving kit shortly after Tony left Recovery. Now he and Gibbs sat in Tony’s room, speaking quietly and keeping an eye on their younger charge.

“Have you alerted the others to the situation?� Ducky kept his voice low so he wouldn’t disturb Tony’s rest.

“No. He asked me not to.�

“Jethro, they’re his friends! They’re going to want to know--especially Abigail! Why, she’ll be distraught to learn that Anthony has been in the hospital all this time and no one told her. They have a right to know.�

“He asked me not to tell anyone, Duck. Not even Abs. Tony has a right to his privacy, and Abs will get over it. Think about it Duck--we wouldn’t even know about this if he hadn’t needed help getting out.�

Both men raised their eyes to the heart monitor next to the bed as its beeping increased, but Ducky quickly assured Jethro that all was well; Anthony’s pulse was merely raising slightly--“he’s probably dreaming, Jethro.�

Gibbs narrowed his eyes, but nodded. He trusted Ducky’s judgment. He knew the old ME wouldn’t put Tony’s health at risk. Attempting to relax (and not wanting to continue his discussion with Ducky) Gibbs sat back in his chair and picked up his crossword puzzle. Ducky took the hint and pulled out the novel he’d been reading for a few days as the two lapsed into a comfortable silence.

Tony slept for the remainder of the afternoon, shifting slightly a couple of times, each move eliciting a quiet groan from him. Around dinner time, Stephanie entered to check on Tony before Joann took over Tony’s care throughout the night.

“I’m just going to check his vitals,� she said softly to Gibbs and Ducky as she made her way to the bed. Gibbs nodded and put his puzzle away, watching. Ducky stood and joined her at Tony’s bedside.

Stephanie had been a nurse for years; she understood concerned family members. She knew how to talk and interact with them and what to say to make them feel more at ease in the Intensive Care Unit. However, she’d never encountered a family quite as intense as the one claiming this NCIS Agent. She knew of Dr. Mallard--it seemed everyone did--but she didn’t understand the relationship between this agent and a medical examiner.

As if sensing her question, Ducky smiled softly. “I may be a Medical Examiner, but I am also Anthony’s primary physician,� he said quietly, looking fondly down at Tony. “He’s quite distrustful of the medical profession.�

Stephanie nodded. Many patients--especially those in and around law enforcement and the military--felt the same so she understood her patient falling into that category. She glanced over at Gibbs, still sitting in the chair, completely focused on Tony--watching him breathe, listening to his heart rate on the monitor, watching Stephanie’s face to see her reaction to the information she gathered. Gibbs watched as she checked Tony’s pulse, respiration, temperature, blood pressure, and O2 saturations. Tony remained asleep for all of her ministrations until she lifted the sheet and checked his ankle. It was important that Stephanie check his circulation. She gently pressed on Tony’s toes, and it drew a groan from the man on the bed.

“Mmmh,� Tony moaned softly. He felt that sudden pressure on his toes again and the soft moan turned into a groan of pain. Tony cracked his eyes open slightly and blinked them slowly.

“Take it easy, Tony,� a woman spoke softly to him as she stood over his face. “I’m just checking your vitals and your ankle.�

“I…’m not dead?�

The woman standing over him laughed. “No, Tony. These monitors are telling me you are definitely not dead. My name’s Stephanie. I’m your nurse on the day shift. It’s about five o’clock in the afternoon now; I’ll be your nurse until your night nurse JoAnn gets here at seven. I’m sure she’ll confirm my findings that you are still alive as well,� Stephanie said with a wink.

Tony managed a small smile. “Funny,� he said softly, breathing out a nearly silent laugh.

Gibbs stood up and joined Stephanie and Ducky at Tony’s bedside.

“B-boss…� Tony’s voice sounded tired.

“What ya need Tony?�

“Water?�

Gibbs picked up the cup and filled it. He held the straw to Tony’s lips. He watched the muscles in Tony’s neck as he swallowed the water down. Gibbs swallowed hard. What are ya doin’, Marine?

“Tony I need you to rate your pain level for me, Sweetheart,� Stephanie said. “On a scale of one to ten, with one being no pain, and ten being the worst pain of your life, how badly are you hurting?�

Tony thought about it. His whole body hurt, but he didn’t think it was the worst pain of his life.

Gibbs noticed that Tony was taking a while to answer. “Don’t lie to her, Tony,� he said. “If you need the meds, just ask for ‘em.�

Tony’s gaze slid over to Gibbs. He was finally able to open both eyes since the swelling had gone down slightly. Tony’s vision in the swollen eye was still blurry, but he could make out images and colors, which was better than before. Tony realized that Gibbs had been by his side every time he’d awoken in the hospital. Had his boss stayed the whole time? Had he really not left?

“’m at…’bouta eight,� he said honestly.

“I’ll go get you some pain medication. You just had surgery this morning, so it’s not surprising you’re hurting. You’ll start to feel better soon. I’ll be right back,� Stephanie said. She stepped out of the room, leaving Tony alone with Ducky and Gibbs.

“My dear boy,� Ducky started speaking just as the door closed. “I’m relieved to see you awake and alert. I’m sorry you are feeling so poorly.�

“Thanks…Ducky,� Tony said softly. His eyes slid shut without his permission. “Tired,� he whispered. “Boss?�

“Right here, DiNozzo,� Gibbs said. He reached out and laid his hand over Tony’s. To his surprise, Tony turned his hand over and locked his fingers with Gibbs’.

“Here…whole time?�

“Jethro has not left since we brought you in yesterday, Anthony. He’s been by your side, providing information for the doctors, filling out the necessary forms and generally keeping an eye on you.�

Stephanie came back in before Tony could respond. She deftly inserted the needleless syringe into Tony’s IV port. “Alright here we go. This is a small dose of morphine. Should keep your pain level down, and JoAnn will be in at seven, like I said. If you need anything before that, please don’t hesitate to call me.�

“Are you going to feed him supper?� Gibbs glanced from Tony to Stephanie then back again.

“Are you hungry?� Stephanie was careful to talk to Tony and not leave him out of the conversation.

Tony managed a slow nod. “Kinda…�

“Let me check with Dr. Brown and see if she thinks you’re up to something light for dinner. If she agrees, I’ll let the cafeteria know you’d like a snack. Maybe some Jello?�

Tony made a face. “He prefers applesauce,� Gibbs cut in.

Stephanie smiled. “I’ll see what I can do. In the meantime I’ll bring you some ice chips. They’ll at least give you something to munch on.�

Stephanie left again and Tony looked up at Gibbs. He blinked heavily; the drugs were already easing his pain and he could feel his muscles relaxing. Thank God, Tony thought to himself.

“Good drugs?� Gibbs smiled as Tony’s eyes crossed slightly. Tony blinked and then opened his eyes and smiled sleepily.

“Yeah Bosssss,� Tony slurred, elongating the words.

“Want to rest?�

Tony shook his head slowly, and a dark look passed over his eyes. “No,� Tony said shortly. “S-slept too m-much al-already,� Tony spoke slowly; his voice was slurring a bit.

Gibbs chuckled and shook his head. Tony on painkillers was always an adventure. He sat back down in the chair beside the bed, resuming his crossword puzzle. Once Ducky was convinced that Tony was resting comfortably and Gibbs was settled in for the evening, he bid them both goodnight and left them alone to go check on his mother.

Tony’s eyes followed Gibbs’ movements. The lead agent was certainly a good looking man. Tony had always known it, but now…something about the silver haired, blue eyed man just made him feel warm inside. Tony closed his eyes and shook his head. Must be the drugs, DiNozzo. You’re thinkin’ crazy--as if Gibbs could ever love someone like you. He didn’t want to fall asleep, didn’t want to take the risk that he’d wake up and Gibbs would be gone, but eventually the pull of the drugs became too much, and his eyes drooped shut. Don’t leave me Gibbs…not now…please don’t leave me alone here.

Gibbs watched sadly as Tony's eyes closed. Left alone with only the whirring of machines for company, he silently wondered at the way Tony resisted falling asleep. He wondered if Tony was waiting for Declan to show up or if he was frightened. Based on what he knew of his second's history, Gibbs wondered how often Tony had been through this hell alone. It occurred to him that Tony wasn’t used to having support. Between his bastard of a father and now his bastard of a partner, Gibbs realized that Tony had always been alone. He’d never had help before, and Gibbs marveled at the strength that had allowed his agent to survive.

Unable to stop himself, Gibbs reached up and brushed back the hair from Tony's forehead, "I've got your six DiNozzo,� he whispered, “you're not alone anymore."

Retracting his hand, Gibbs settled into his chair and continued his puzzle.

xxx

On Tuesday night, the night before he was released, Tony turned and looked at Gibbs who had remained a constant calming presence in the bland hospital room. Over the weekend, Ducky began insisting that Jethro leave the hospital at least once a day to go home and take a shower, have some good coffee, and take a break from sitting at Tony’s side. Ducky repeatedly offered to round up the others on the team to help keep Tony company, but Tony adamantly refused and Gibbs supported him.

“He’s in a difficult place right now, Duck,� Gibbs reminded the older man. “DiNozzo doesn’t feel like he’s got a lot of say in anything going on. It’s important to him that everyone doesn’t find out what’s going on. We’re going to respect that.�

Wednesday morning rolled around and Tony looked at Gibbs. Gibbs looked slightly haggard, but he’d not complained once about staying, and he wouldn’t leave unless Ducky promised to stay until he got back. Even then Gibbs had rarely been gone for more than an hour or two at a time.

“Why?� The question was spoken so softly Gibbs wasn’t even sure he’d actually heard Tony speak. He set his newspaper aside and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Why what, Tony?�

“Why’d you do it?�

Gibbs eyed Tony carefully. The younger man’s shoulders were slumped and he was nearly curling in on himself. Something was bothering his senior agent.

“Why’d I do what, Tony?�

“Why’d you stay? You’ve barely left this room! I’ve been here almost a week and you’ve hardly left my side at all! You’ve wasted your whole vacation sitting here with my dumb ass in the hospital and--�

Gibbs cut him off mid-babble with a shrug. “I wanted to stay.�

That shut Tony up. “You…you wanted to?� His voice was full of awe, his eyes widened as his jaw slightly dropped. Tony was completely floored by the realization.

“Don’t you think if I wanted you to handle this alone I’m enough of a bastard to make you do that?�

“You…Boss you didn’t have to stay--didn’t have to help me. I mean I appreciate it and all, but, well that is--�

“I know I didn’t have to stay, Tony,� Gibbs said softly, looking into Tony’s eyes. “I wanted to, like I said. Just accept it,� he insisted with a smile.

“I appreciate it Boss…and tomorrow I’ll be out of your hair. Once I get home you won’t have to worry abou--�

Tony was cut off with a quiet but firm, “You’re coming home with me.�

“C’mon Boss. I know you don’t want me to come crash your place and bring all my drama to your house. Besides you’re still on vacation--you should do something fun! Take your boat…out of your basement or something.� Because let’s face it Gibbs. I’m a fuckup and no one in their right mind would ever want to spend time with me.

“You’re right Tony. It is still my vacation and I will do what I want.� Gibbs stepped a bit closer to Tony’s bed, ignoring the leave me alone message being sent from Tony’s slumped posture and lack of eye contact. The lead agent leaned his head down a bit, so his lips were very close to Tony’s ear. “What I want, Tony, is to make sure you’ve got a safe, comfortable place to rest while you heal up. Don’t want you on desk duty forever.�

Tony raised his gaze to meet Gibbs’ eyes and saw the truth of the statement reflected there. He couldn’t believe that after everything that had happened, Gibbs would open his home up to Tony.

“Thanks Boss,� he said, feeling a bit sheepish for doubting Gibbs’ actions.

Gibbs let out a quiet sigh at his second’s words--DiNozzo shouldn’t feel the need to thank someone for kindness. “Anytime DiNozzo. Besides, I’m going to take some extra time off work Tony.�

Tony’s gaze shot back up from where it had dropped to his lap. “What do you mean? Why do you need to take time off? Are you alright?�

Gibbs felt his heart swell at the honest concern he heard in the other man’s voice. This man had been beaten within an inch of his life, and as he was lying in the hospital bed he was concerned for Gibbs’ wellbeing.

“I’m fine, Tony,� he assured him. “I’m taking some time off so I can give you a hand.�

If Tony’d been able he would have bolted out the door. Instead he recoiled on the bed as far as he could. “G-give me a hand? With what, Boss? I’ll be fine; been taking care of myself since I was twelve,� Tony gave a false grin. “I’m a big boy.�

Gibbs let out a tight breath, trying to hold onto his patience. “Tony you’ve been seriously hurt. Hell you almost died a week ago!�

“You think I don’t know that? Don’t you think I know what happened a week ago, Gibbs? A week ago I was in the middle of the biggest fight of my life, and I only had myself for backup! But I was fine then, Boss, and I’ll be fine now!�

It wasn’t that Tony was particularly angry, but he felt damned frustrated that Gibbs felt like he needed to be coddled. He wasn’t some child who needed protecting from the big bad boogeyman.

“It’s not that I think you can’t handle it by yourself Tony. You’ve proven you’re more than capable of that. But I also know how hard it is to only rely on yourself, and you’ve been doing that for years. I’d like to help you if you’ll let me--I know you can do it alone, but I also know it’s easier if someone has your six.�

Tony considered Gibbs’ words. “I don’t want you to miss work for me,� he said quietly, stubbornness leaking into his tone.

“Well you’ve got two options, way I see it,� Gibbs said. “You can let me take the time off work and help you out. Or, you can have me tell the team what’s going on and we’ll take shifts while we all work. Up to you,� Gibbs said thoughtfully, though he had a pretty good idea of what Tony would want.

Tony’s reaction surprised Gibbs. The lead agent had been expecting the normal smartass comeback and cocky arrogance DiNozzo usually gave, so the near panicked state in which he suddenly found his second in command came as a shock.

“No Boss! Please, don’t tell them! I can’t stand it if everyone knows. They’ll never understand and I’ll get looks and people will talk and--�

“Tony.�

“NO! Gibbs you got to understand! You can’t tell them--especially--oh God if Kate finds out I’m…she’ll…�

“She isn’t going to say anything to you Tony.� Gibbs watched Tony for a moment, watching as the man’s eyes darted around the room, not really focusing on anything. “Hey. DiNozzo. Look at me.�

Tony’s wild gaze finally settled on Gibbs. “I have your six, alright? I’m not going to say anything to anyone. You are going to have to explain what’s going on to the Director though. He won’t think less of you.�

Tony took a shaky breath and nodded. “Ye-yeah…Sure Boss. And, you really…I mean you’re sure you don’t mind me staying with you for a little bit?�

You could stay with me forever and I wouldn’t complain, Gibbs thought to himself. “It’s fine Tony. I don’t say things I don’t mean,� he ground out instead.

He reached over and gave Tony a lighter than normal headslap. “What was that for?� Tony’s tone was indignant and he dramatically crossed his arms over his chest. Gibbs could see it was an act, but the question was real.

He shrugged, a smirk crossing his features. “For doubting me.�

xxx

Tony was released from the hospital that afternoon. Dr. Corkran wanted to keep an eye on Tony’s knee for a couple of weeks and monitor the swelling before making any decisions about surgery.

Once they arrived at the lead agent’s house, Gibbs began to help Tony into the rented wheelchair despite the younger man’s protests.

“Boss really. Give me crutches, a walker. I can walk. Give me anything--anything but this...� Tony spat out the last word and a pointed look at the chair.

“DiNozzo, you can’t put any weight on that ankle, your other leg has a bum knee, your collarbone is broken and your ribs are still damaged. Get in the chair, Tony; it’s not a sign of weakness to let your body heal.� Tony sighed but got in the chair without further argument.

To Tony it seemed like an eternity had passed by the time Gibbs had wheeled him into the living room and they finally reached the couch. Gibbs locked the chair and then gently helped Tony shift down onto the couch. Once there, the young man leaned his head back and groaned in relief.

“Need anything?�

Tony opened one eye and stared up at his boss…his only friend.

“Yeah, to fast forward about eight weeks,� he muttered.

Gibbs smirked. “It’s going to go faster than you think Tony. Besides, the Director and your doctor both agreed that if you take it easy for another week we can see about letting you come back to work a week from Monday.�

Tony rolled his eyes good-naturedly, knowing that both sides were taking risks to let him come back to work so soon, even if he would be on desk duty. Their easy banter was cut off by Tony’s cell phone ringing.

“Who’s calling me?� Tony wondered out loud as he pulled his phone from his jacket pocket.

Gibbs was hanging up his jacket in the closet when he heard Tony’s phone clatter onto the coffee table. Tony was suddenly very quiet. Gibbs turned and looked at his senior agent. When he saw the look on his agent’s face, his gut churned and he quickly returned to his friend’s side.

“What is it Tony? Who’s on the phone?�

Tony shook his head, and didn’t answer, instead leaning forward and putting his face in his hands. Gibbs placed a gentle hand on Tony’s shoulder, and wasn’t surprised when he received a flinch in response. Narrowing his eyes, Gibbs picked up Tony’s cell phone.

He flipped it open and realized he should have expected to see Declan’s name with a Missed Call message at the top of the screen.

“He wants me back,� Tony whispered from behind his hands. “He wants me to come home. I know he does. I’ve been away too long. He’s realizing he’s losing control.� Tony looked up at Gibbs. Gibbs had never seen so much fear in those green eyes.

“Hey,� Gibbs said, his voice calm and in control--a direct contrast to the rage he felt filling his body.

“Yeah?�

“I’ve got your six, remember, Tony? You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You’re here so you can heal and make a plan for yourself and I’m here to help you with whatever you need. Including getting you back on your feet.� He smirked at his own pun. Tony smiled faintly.

“It’s alright to be afraid, Tony,� Gibbs said softly, sitting down on the couch beside him.

Tony nodded. “Been with him so long Gibbs…seems silly to be afraid of him all of a sudden. Kind of like I should have been scared for a long time now, guess I couldn’t see the forest for the trees.�

Gibbs’ answer was cut off by Tony’s cell phone ringing again. He glanced at the caller ID and was not surprised that Declan was calling again. Tony visibly recoiled once Gibbs identified the caller. Gibbs saw the fear escalate in Tony’s eyes and so he flipped the phone open. He knew there would eventually be a confrontation. But Gibbs also knew that he never wanted to see that much fear in Tony’s eyes again.

It was high time for Declan O’Sullivan to hear from Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

“Special Agent DiNozzo’s phone.�

TBC…

Chapter 8: Breaking Open

“Special Agent DiNozzo’s phone.�

“This is Tony’s boyfriend. May I speak with him?�

“Agent DiNozzo is not taking calls right now.�

“I’m afraid it’s very important that I speak with him.�

“I already told you, Agent DiNozzo is not taking calls.�

“Who is this?�

“His boss.�

“Ah Special Agent Gibbs, I’ve heard so much about you; it’s nice to finally meet you. But as I said, it’s important that I talk to Tony, and I need to speak with him now. I am not interested in leaving a message.�

“You’re not going to get to talk to Tony. You can leave him a message, which I may or may not pass on, or can do us all a favor and hang up and stop calling now. We clear?�

“Are you fucking him, Agent Gibbs? Are you stealing my boy away? I’ve got news for you; Tony’s a worthless whore--he’ll leave you--just like he left me. Tony has commitment issues; he can’t be faithful to anyone. He needs to come home where I can keep him in line."

Gibbs stepped out onto the porch away from Tony. He could see Tony through the window in the living room--could see the questioning look on his face, and the concern mapping his features. Gibbs was glad that he’d known about Tony’s relationship with Declan--this man didn’t seem to care that Tony worked for a military agency where being outed like that could potentially cost him his job--that or he just didn’t care.

“You listen to me you piece of shit,� Gibbs growled into the phone. “Tony doesn’t want to hear from you anymore. He’s done with you. You’d do well to remember that.�

“Or what, Agent Gibbs? You going to come find me? Beat me up? Threaten me? I’m not in the military, asshole. You can’t do shit to me.�

Gibbs smirked. “You let me know how believing that works out for you. Don’t call again.� Gibbs snapped the phone shut.

He let out a long breath before turning back to the door. He rushed inside when he saw Tony struggling to get up off the couch by himself; pushing himself up with his good arm, the other was still in the sling.

“DiNozzo what the hell are ya doin’?�

Gibbs stepped in front of Tony and placed a hand on each of Tony’s shoulders, stopping him mid-motion.

“I gotta go Gibbs. I was wrong. I can’t do this. I need to go home.�

Gibbs gently cupped Tony’s face in his hands. “Listen to me Tony, you listening?�

Tony nodded, but refused to meet Gibbs’ gaze.

“I told you that this is a safe place for you. You can rest here, get your head on straight, and then figure out what you want to do. I want you to think of this place as your home. You are welcome to stay here as long as you want or need to.�

Tony finally looked Gibbs in the eye. Then he bowed his head. “Thanks Boss,� he whispered.

“Jethro, we’re not working.�

Tony raised his gaze once again, a small smile gracing his features. “Jethro,� he whispered.

xxx

It pissed Gibbs off, but he knew that to some degree Declan was correct when he said that Gibbs couldn’t do anything to him. They could theoretically hold jurisdiction over Declan because of Tony’s NCIS Federal Agent status, but it would be a stretch and it would mean outing Tony to the agency. Gibbs decided he needed some help. He called Tom Morrow and invited him to dinner on Saturday night.

Gibbs had made Tom aware of the situation before Tony was released from the hospital. As Tom arrived at the house, he steeled himself knowing that if Gibbs had asked for time off; things weren’t good. His suspicions were confirmed when he quietly made his way inside. Taking a moment, Tom allowed his eyes to wander over the young agent’s battered and bruised body while he slept on the couch. The wheelchair parked close by and the fact that the young man hadn’t stirred told Morrow enough.

“Hello Tom,� Gibbs greeted the man startling him out of his momentary daze.

“Jethro, how are you?� Morrow shook Gibbs’ hand warmly as he shot a look over Gibbs’ shoulder at the sleeping man on the couch.

“I’m okay Tom. I need to explain some things to you; DiNozzo too.�

Tom raised one eyebrow and followed his friend further into the house. Gibbs led the way to the kitchen where he offered his boss a beer. Morrow took it and snapped the lid off before taking a huge pull off the bottle. Gibbs took a swig of his own beer and then set the bottle on the counter.

“Give me just a minute. Need to go wake Tony; it’s time for his meds.� Gibbs excused himself from the kitchen after shaking several pills from several bottles out into his hand and filling a glass with water.

Morrow couldn’t help but follow Gibbs back down the hall to the living room. He watched as the team leader knelt on the floor beside the couch where his agent was sleeping. Gibbs gently ran a hand through Tony’s hair, calling his name softly and easing him awake. He put a steadying hand on Tony’s shoulder when the younger man startled into full wakefulness and spoke softly, offering words of reassurance to him. Gibbs held out the pills and Morrow smiled when he saw Tony make a face before reluctantly accepting the medication and swallowing it down without argument. Gibbs leaned up and said something very softly in Tony’s ear and Tony’s eyes widened and he looked up and saw the director in the hallway.

“Hi…Director Morrow,� Tony said softly, uncertainty lacing his tone.

The director smiled back. “Hello Tony. Looks like you’ve had a rough time of it. You doing ok?�

Tony nodded. “Much better now, thanks. Gibbs has been…helping me.�

“Can’t think of anyone I’d rather have help me,� Tom said, offering an easy smile to the two men.

“Thank you sir,� Gibbs said softly.

Tom joined them in the living room, choosing to sit in the chair opposite the couch. “Looks like you’ve got some pretty serious injuries,� he commented, noting the wheelchair and the cast on Tony’s ankle, as well as the multiple bandages and the sling on Tony’s arm.

Tony nodded.

“Tony’s injury…well the cause of Tony’s injuries is actually why I asked you to come over tonight, Tom,� Gibbs said, pulling the director’s attention away from his battered agent.

Morrow leaned forward in his chair and rested his elbows on his knees, folding his hands in front of him. “I’m listening.�

“I can’t do this,� Tony suddenly whispered, his fingers clutching the knitted blanket on the couch. Tony dropped his gaze to his lap, and Gibbs could see that his ears were bright pink--color that flowed from his ears down into his cheeks.

Gibbs sat beside him and wrapped a gentle arm around his back, squeezing his shoulder gently, reassuringly.

“You can, Tony,� Gibbs encouraged him. His tone was firm; there was no doubt that Tony would explain his injuries, but with his actions, Gibbs made a silent promise to be with Tony every step of the way.

Tony took a deep breath and ventured a sideways glance at his boss before looking at the director. He could feel his stomach tying up in knots; he was about to come out to the agency director. Tony shot Gibbs an uncomfortable look, before returning his gaze to his lap.

“Director I…I’m in the process of leaving a r-romantic relationship,� Tony started. “I’ve been seeing…dating, living with, whatever, I’ve been with this guy for over ten years now.�

Morrow blinked. He’d heard rumors of Tony’s womanizing. It was mildly surprising to learn that the young agent was interested in men. It didn’t bother him, merely surprised him.

“That’s ok, Tony,� Tom said. “I have no problem with that. Please, continue.�

Tony blinked in surprise, and shot a glance at Gibbs, before his eyes returned to his lap again.

“A-anyway. This man…I’ve been…with…well it’s not the greatest relationship in the world, y’know? I mean we have a lot of problems and all.�

A sick feeling welled up in Tom’s gut. He didn’t think he wanted to hear anymore, but he knew it was his responsibility to Tony to hear the man out.

“Am I seeing…evidence of these problems here, Tony?� Tom kept his voice gentle, and gestured slightly at Tony’s injuries.

If it were possible, Tony’s face grew even pinker and he nodded, with slow, jerky movements.

“Tony may I ask you a question?�

Tony slowly raised his gaze. “Sure Director.� Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder again. Tony was really grateful that Gibbs had stayed close for this conversation.

“Tony…have you ever shared this information with anyone?�

Tony considered his answer. “No sir,� he said softly. “I learned…early on that telling people doesn’t ever help.�

“Is it safe for me to assume that you have fully briefed Jethro on your situation?�

Tony’s face flushed a darker shade of pink again. “Yes,� he whispered. “Gibbs knows. Well most of it anyway. The important stuff.�

Gibbs narrowed his eyes slightly at this, but didn’t push. Now wasn’t the time.

Tom thought for a moment and then turned to Gibbs. “Jethro I know you told me you only thought you’d need a week off from work to assist Tony. However, in light of this new information you’ve given me, I think it would be wise for both of you to have even more time off. We’ll start at two weeks and discuss it further when the time comes.�

“But--� Tony was cut off by Morrow’s hand raising, silencing his argument.

“Tony. I am concerned for your health. Take some time off--get some rest, maybe consider talking with a counselor.� Morrow paused for a moment. “Are you going to press charges?�

“I…� Tony glanced from Morrow to Gibbs. “I haven’t decided yet,� he said quietly.

“My recommendation to you would be to get a restraining order in place. At least until you decide what to do, give yourself some legal backing on keeping this…person away from you.� Tom gave Tony a soft, supportive smile as he spoke.

Tony scooted away from Gibbs a bit, needing space suddenly. “I…I need a minute,� he said, struggling to get off the couch.

“Hey, hey easy, Tony. Don’t get up. We’ll give you a minute ok? I need more beer anyway. You need anything?�

Tony shook his head and leaned back against his pillows on the couch. He curled up as much as his broken body would allow and turned his face toward the back of the couch. Gibbs motioned for Tom to follow him back to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry Jethro; I didn’t mean to upset him.�

“He’s okay Tom. He gets upset sometimes is all.� Gibbs was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice was quiet and concerned. “He’s never had any kind of support before. This is all new to him. His dad beat him when he was a kid and then he hooked up with this guy…Tony’s never had a chance. He doesn’t realize that being loved or cared for shouldn’t come with pain or a price.�

“Looks like he’s got someone to teach him that lesson now,� Morrow gave his friend a reassuring smile.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,� Gibbs grumbled.

“I think you do. As long as you keep the hanky-panky out of the office, you know I won’t object to it. Gibbs it’s time to move on, my friend. Shannon’s been gone a long time and let’s face it--those red heads you pick out…they’re pale substitutions for the real thing. Why don’t you think about trying something new?�

Gibbs looked at Tom, “how did you know I was considering it?�

Morrow smiled. “I didn’t until I watched you wake him earlier. I’ve only ever seen you be so gentle with children and your first wife. I think you are exactly what he needs to recover.�

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?�

“Then you suck it up and move on. Jethro, Tony needs whatever support you can give him whether its romantically, professionally or as a friend. If you like, I can get Jill in legal to get the restraining order in the works; she’ll keep it quiet.�

“We’re not doing it until Tony gives us the go ahead, sir.�

“Well I think it would be in Tony’s best interest if we--�

“It will be in Tony’s best interest if we let him control the things he can control,� Gibbs finished for him.

Tom nodded. “You’re right. Absolutely right.� He let out a long breath. “So what’s for dinner?�

xxx

Dinner was entertaining, the three men sat around the living room sharing stories--tales of adventures they’d each had long ago, drinking beer--soda for Tony--and enjoying the cowboy steaks. Morrow didn’t mention the restraining order again, and Tony didn’t mention Declan anymore.

The sun was low in the sky when Tony’s cell phone rang. Without thinking, Tony picked it up.

“DiNozzo.�

“I know you’re with Gibbs, asshole. Are you cheating on me?�

“We are not having this conversation. Our relationship is over Declan. OVER. Leave me alone.�

Tony snapped the phone shut and blinked in surprise at himself. Gibbs smiled proudly at him. “Attaboy, Tony,� he commented, raising his beer in toast. Tony smiled tiredly, but it quickly faded when the phone rang again. “You have got to be kidding me,� Tony grumbled. “He hasn’t called in three days, why’s he calling so much all of a sudden?�

“He’s getting nervous. He’s trying to reestablish control and you just stood up to him.� Morrow leaned forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees, and folded his hands.

The phone beeped that Tony had missed the call. A moment later it started to ring again. Tony tried to ignore the ringing phone. He tossed the phone down onto the coffee table and eyed the two men around him wearily.

“He’s not going to give up until he gets what he wants,� Tony said sadly. “Might as well pack it in and go home. Was a nice thought though, Gibbs. I tried this once before you know.�

Gibbs’ eyebrows raised slightly, wondering if Tony remembered the conversation they had in the hospital the night he was admitted. “Really? When was that?�

Tony ran a hand over his face. “Could I have something to drink?�

Gibbs nodded and handed Tony the glass of water from the table. Tony took a long sip and Gibbs noticed that Tony’s hands were shaking. “Tony…when did you try to leave Declan?�

Tony let out a long breath and dropped his eyes to his lap. “When I moved to DC,� he said softly.

“You left Declan to come to DC; to work for me?�

Tony nodded silently, hoping that Gibbs would understand the implications of what he’d said.

“What happened?� Gibbs gut churned.

“He found my apartment. It became his apartment. I got punished for running away, and after that well…we kind of found our rhythm I guess.�

“Until recently?�

“Yeah, how did you--�

Gibbs gave him “the look� and Tony nodded. “Right boss. Sorry I forgot you’re psychic.�

Gibbs gave him a light swat to the back of the head. To his surprise, Tony ducked out from under it. Gibbs blinked and stared in shock at his hand. Tony had been living with an abusive man for over ten years. Before that he’d lived with his abusive, neglectful father. Now here he was, passing out slaps to the back of the head. No wonder Tony flinched.

“Tony I…you know I’d never hurt you, right?�

“Yeah Boss. I know that. Just…I dunno, reflexes or something.�

“Don’t feel bad Tony. You didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t need to justify your actions with me.�

Tony smiled shyly. “Thanks Boss,� he said softly.

“We talked about that,� Gibbs warned.

“Thanks Jethro,� Tony immediately corrected himself. “You gotta give me some time to get used to that--I’ve been calling you Boss for years. Hard to just switch, y’know?�

The relaxing moment was ruined when Tony’s cell phone began to ring again. Tony sighed and reached for the phone with his free hand. He picked it up but Gibbs caught his hand before he could open the phone.

“Don’t Tony. Just leave it. You don’t have to answer it.�

“No…No I do…Gibbs let me answer the phone…I need to answer it…I need to talk to him.� Tony tried to pull his hand away.

Gibbs held Tony’s wrist gently, but firmly. “Don’t do this to yourself Tony.�

Tony continued to struggle against Gibbs. “YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND! He’ll kill me if I stay away! Do you not understand what he’s capable of? He told me he’d kill me if I ever tried to leave him again!� Tony’s eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

Gibbs wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulder, stopping his agent’s struggles. “Listen to me Tony. You with me?�

Tony was still struggling against Gibbs. “Let me go...Please Gibbs just let me go home...just let me leave. I need to go back. He’ll stop if I go back; please Gibbs just let me go home.�

Tony wrenched his good hand out of Gibbs’ grasp. Gibbs wasn’t sure what Tony was going to do, watching in a mix of sadness and horror as Tony lifted a hand to his chest, the younger man suddenly gasping for air.

“Tony? You alright?�

Tony continued to gasp for air, the color draining from his face and a light sheen of sweat coating his forehead. Morrow was on his feet a moment later. “He’s having a panic attack, Gibbs. Go wet a washcloth. Bring a basin too; Tony looks like he might be ill. I’ll stay with him.�

Gibbs left the room with one last glance at Tony and Morrow moved in beside him. “Listen to me Tony. You’ve got to calm your breathing down. I know you’re upset, but you’ve got to focus on your breathing. Can you do that?�

Tony continued to gasp for air, and shook his head slightly. “C…Can’t…b-breathe,� Tony’s gasped the dizziness and nausea consuming him.

Moving in front of Tony, Morrow rested one hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Listen to me, Tony. You’ve got to calm down.� Morrow took hold of Tony’s hand and rested it on his chest. “Breathe with me,� the older man said.

Gibbs returned to the living room and sat down beside Tony. “You ok, Tony?�

Tony shook his head. He let out a pitiful whimper as his nausea overpowered him suddenly, and Gibbs barely had time to get the basin under Tony’s chin before the young man was retching into it. The two older men winced at the sounds of Tony’s retching, which was punctuated with pained cries from the injured man on the couch.

The vomiting, along with Tony’s other injuries left him exhausted and he slumped weakly against Gibbs. Gibbs wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders, being careful not to further injure the young man. Finally, Tony started to breathe a bit slower.

“That’s it Tony. Let me help you. Let me have your six. ‘Sok now...shhhh...�

Morrow exchanged the basin for the glass of water allowing Gibbs to help Tony hold it steady. “You okay now,� Gibbs asked as he sat the glass on the table.

Tony looked at his bosses. “‘M okay,� he said softly, looking down at his lap, unable to hold the gaze. “Sorry.�

“No apologies, DiNozzo,� Gibbs said.

“Sign of weakness I know.�

Gibbs and Morrow swapped a pained look. “Not weakness, Tony,� Gibbs corrected gently. “Not necessary, you haven’t done anything wrong. Honestly I think you’re handling everything really well. It’s not weakness to get upset or to need some help; you’re with friends here.�

Tony looked up at Gibbs and Morrow again, a weak smile crossing his features. “Thanks,� he said softly.

Suddenly the phone on the table began to ring again. Tony gasped and if possible, his face grew even paler. Gibbs growled and snatched the phone up. “No!� Tony cried, “Don’t answer it! Please I don’t...I mean I should...if anyone answers it should be me,� Tony pleaded, his voice suddenly soft.

Gibbs’ eyes narrowed and he opened the phone. Tony’s eyes grew wide and his hand went back to his chest, gasping again, panic filling his features. Gibbs snapped the phone in half and tossed the broken phone on the floor where he stepped on it with the heel of his shoe.

“There we go; he’s not calling ya anymore now, Tony,� Gibbs said gently.

Tony continued to gasp, clutching weakly at his chest and throat with his good hand. Darkness was beginning to edge his vision and Tony knew he would soon pass out. He could hear someone talking, but didn’t understand the words. A hand wrapped around the back of Tony’s neck and pressed his head down slightly. He couldn’t put his head all the way down between his knees because of his broken ribs and broken collar bone, but lowering his head did help clear his head a little bit.

Through the haze surrounding his brain, Tony could hear Gibbs speaking softly into his ear. “Easy…breathe Tony…deep breath in…deep breath out…shhhh slow it down…easy…�

A few minutes later, Gibbs helped Tony sit back up. Tony blinked and looked around. “Thanks Bo--Jethro,� he said quietly.

Watching to make sure Tony was okay; Morrow decided it was best to leave him with Jethro to minimize his discomfort. “Gentlemen, thank you for inviting me over and keeping me informed. I think I need to head home before Mary-Anne starts to worry. DiNozzo, you need to get some rest. I will see you two weeks from Monday. Please both of you--don’t hesitate to call if you need something. That includes more time off. DiNozzo, think about what I said. If you want to take the route I suggested, let me know and I can pull some strings to make the process as painless as possible for you.�

Tony nodded. “Thank you sir. I appreciate you being so great about all of this. I mean you’ve been really understanding and I don’t think I could have told just anyone the things I told you.�

Morrow gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder. “Thank you for trusting me. Please believe me when I say it will get better.�

“Thank you sir.�

xxx

NCIS Dispatch

Tia Maloney had been working at NCIS for two weeks. She’d been through all of the training, all of the workshops, all of the lectures, and now she’d been turned loose in dispatch as the newest dispatcher. She sipped on her strawberry slushie and pulled up facebook on her computer. There weren’t many calls coming in tonight. She was bored.

When the phone rang she immediately snatched it up, reciting from memory the standard greeting.

“Thank you for calling the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. My name is Tia, how may I assist you?�

“Good evening. I’m trying to reach Agent Gibbs. I’m a detective from the Metro Police Department and he and I are sharing jurisdiction on a case. I have some vital information I need to pass along to him, but he isn’t answering his cell phone. I was wondering if you have his home number?�

Tia tapped on her keyboard and pulled up the employee database. She didn’t consider the fact that the officer never identified himself with a name or a badge number. He also did not identify the case he was working. Tia pulled up the information page on Agent Gibbs and read through the information looking for the phone number.

“Here you go, Detective,� Tia spoke into the phone. She rattled off Gibbs’ home phone number and asked him if she could be of anymore assistance.

“You wouldn’t happen to have his address would you? I need to run something over to him. It’s the weekend and I know he’s not working, but this is really important for the case.�

“We aren’t supposed to give out addresses. I’m sure if you use that phone number you and he can get together.�

“Thank you for all your help, Tia. Goodbye.�

“Goodbye Detective.�

xxx

Declan hung up the phone and laughed out loud. He couldn’t believe the idiots working in dispatch at NCIS. He glanced down at the phone number on the slip of paper. Casually he turned on Tony’s computer, pulled up the internet and ran a search on the phone number. Technology--it’s so grand. Five minutes later, the phone number was joined by an address.

Declan smiled. “Gotcha.�

TBC…

Chapter 9: Healing the Breaks

On Monday morning, Kate rushed into the bullpen, fully expecting to be fussed at for being two minutes late. To her surprise, neither Gibbs nor Tony had arrived yet. She settled down at her desk, booted her computer, and tried to make it look like she’d been there for more than a few seconds. She checked her email, updated her calendar on her blackberry, and watched the clock as the minutes ticked by.

She really didn’t want to call Gibbs.

An hour or so after she arrived, Director Morrow entered the bullpen. A frown was set deeply into his features, and he approached Kate’s desk. Kate looked around, wondering what she’d done, and where in the hell Gibbs and Tony were. However, once Morrow arrived at her desk, his features split into an expression of pleasantness.

“Did you have a good vacation, Agent Todd?�

She smiled, though the uneasy feeling hadn’t left her yet. “Yes I did, Director. Thank you.�

Morrow crooked a finger at her and motioned for her to follow him. “Please join me in my office, Agent Todd.�

Kate followed Morrow up the stairs and around the balcony to his office. Morrow walked past Cynthia without a word and Kate shot her a questioning look as she followed him. Cynthia merely shrugged. It didn’t help Kate feel any better.

“Have a seat, Kate,� Director Morrow said once they were inside the office. Kate sat down on the edge of one of the chairs facing the director’s desk. Morrow shut the door behind her with an audible click.

“I want to explain what is going on, so you will understand.�

“Understand what?� Kate blurted out her question, unable to hide her curiosity any longer. “Did something happen? Where are Gibbs and Tony?�

“Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo are both taking some extended leave.� The director paused, trying to decide how much to tell their team member. “Agent DiNozzo was injured during his vacation, and Agent Gibbs is assisting him in his recovery. Rest assured, Agent Todd, both of them will be back soon, and things will return to normal. In the mean time, I have taken your team off of rotation.�

“But what am I--� Kate started to ask what she was supposed to do while the others were gone, but the director cut her off.

“Agent Gibbs suggested that you work on cold cases until he returns. However, I think it would be more beneficial to you to gain some better understanding of some of the other areas. This week I have you scheduled as an assistant in forensics. You’ll be working with Abby. We’ll work out a plan for next week towards the end of this week. Any questions?�

“Is Tony okay?�

“He will be. I spoke with both of them on Saturday evening. Agent DiNozzo is on the mend; he should hopefully be returning to desk duty in two weeks.�

“What happened?�

“That, I can’t say. It’s private information, and Agent DiNozzo has requested that I not divulge the nature of his injuries. Currently he’s staying with Agent Gibbs, receiving the best medical care available.�

“Could I go visit him?�

“I would call Gibbs before showing up to visit. It’s very important that DiNozzo get as much rest as he needs.�

“Of course Director, so if people ask me where they are…what should I tell them?�

“I would suggest telling them they are working an undercover operation that is classified on a need to know basis.�

Kate nodded. “Agreed. So…Abby?�

“Thank you for your flexibility, Agent Todd. May I suggest, you call Agent Gibbs as soon as possible.�

“Thank you Director. Thanks for letting me know what’s going on…well as best you can.�

“Certainly, if I learn more, you will be the first to know.�

“Thank you, sir.�

Kate shut the door behind her and leaned against it for a moment. She was stunned by the information she’d just been given. Cynthia turned to her with eager eyes. “So? What’s going on?�

Kate looked at her friend for a long moment. She adored Cynthia, but it was no secret that the woman had a big mouth. If Kate told her that DiNozzo was injured, it’d be all over the building and blown out of proportion--no doubt Tony’s funeral would be planned by lunchtime. She decided to keep her information to herself.

“Can’t talk about it, Cynthia. It’s classified.�

Kate walked over to the elevator and hit the button. She knew Cynthia would be watching where she was heading, trying to glean any information she could gather. Kate stepped inside the elevator and punched the button for the bullpen. Once it stopped there, Kate remained on the elevator, punched the button for Abby’s lab and watched as the doors slid shut again.

In between floors, Kate hit the emergency stop button. She pulled out her cell phone and hit 4.

xxx

Gibbs had been up for hours. Ever since the phone conversation with Declan the other night, the senior agent hadn’t gotten much sleep. It was just after 0900 on Monday morning when his cell phone rang. He didn’t need to look at the caller ID to know that it was Agent Todd on the other end. By now she would have met with the director and been informed about the situation.

Tony was still sleeping, thanks to the pain killers that Gibbs was still forcing him to take, as well as the light sedative Ducky had prescribed to help Tony relax and sleep free from nightmares. The first couple of nights after he was released from the hospital, Tony hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours; he was plagued all night by frightening images--memories of his life with Declan, fears that he’d be forced to return to that relationship, and recollections of the week he’d spent in the apartment with him being beat to hell everyday while he was on vacation. These things kept Tony from sleeping which subsequently kept Gibbs from sleeping. Gibbs had consulted Ducky about Tony’s lack of sleep, and Ducky sprang to the rescue with a light sedative as a result.

Gibbs flipped open his phone, stepping out onto the back porch to talk, staying near the house, mindful of the rain falling. He didn’t want to take any chances of waking Tony up. The poor guy needed some good quality sleep, and when Gibbs checked on him earlier, Tony was finally sleeping soundly for the first time in days.

“Yeah, Gibbs.�

“Gibbs it’s Kate. What the hell happened to DiNozzo?�

“He got injured Kate. He’s recovering. Did you meet with Morrow?�

“Yeah he assigned me to work with Abby all week.�

“Make sure you take her some caf-pow.�

“As if I need to hype her up more. What’s she say about Tony being injured?�

“She doesn’t know. Tony doesn’t want it spread around that he got hurt.�

“Is he okay, Gibbs?�

“Getting better everyday, Kate.�

“Could I…I mean would it be alright if we came to visit?�

“Let’s wait a few more days. Tony’s pretty nervous right now; we’re waiting to hear back from his surgeon about possibly needing another operation, and until that’s decided I think it’s best to keep things real low key.�

“You know Abby’s not going to like that.�

“I don’t’ see why Abby needs to be involved at this point, Agent Todd. The only reason you know is because it directly affects you at work. If DiNozzo had his way about it, none of us would know.�

“What happened to him? I mean is it so personal that he can’t tell us about it?�

“It’s his story to tell. And yes, Agent Todd, it’s very personal. It’d do you well to keep the information you have to yourself.�

“I won’t tell anyone. Does Ducky know?�

“Ducky knows. He’s been helping out some as well.�

“Do you have any idea how long you’ll be out?�

“Next two weeks for sure. After that…well it depends on what the doctors say. Tony can’t really be by himself right now.�

“Alright Boss. I’ll be in touch.�

“We’ll see about you dropping by later in the week.�

“Of course. Bye.�

Kate hit the button to start the elevator again and leaned against the wall. A week working in Abby’s lab. God help her.

xxx

Awareness crept into Tony’s brain like a fog lifting from a lake. He tried to bury his head beneath the pillow; he didn’t want to wake up yet--he didn’t want to face the day. Feelings of darkness, depression, helplessness, and worthlessness flooded his mind before he even got his eyes open. It was one of those feelings that was so overwhelming he felt as though he’d been physically attacked by it. He shifted slightly and couldn’t bite back the groan that escaped his lips. Christ his whole body hurt. Worse today than it had been, it seemed. He closed his eyes again for a moment, regretting the fact that he needed the head. He used his one good arm to push himself up, but immediately his ribs caught and he groaned again, louder this time, despite himself.

A moment later, Gibbs was by his side. “Hey…you ok?�

Tony had stopped mid-motion, and was trying to stay as still as possible, in hopes that his screaming body would give him a bit of relief.

“Need…needa…minute…need th’head…� Tony mumbled, still taking shallow breaths trying not to worsen the pain in his lungs.

“Looks like you need some pain killers too. Ok let me help you.� Gibbs turned around and moved the wheelchair close by. “Here’s your chair. Gonna take it nice and slow. Let me do all the work Tony. Just take it easy.�

Gibbs gently wrapped one arm under Tony’s and the other he slid under Tony’s legs. Tony lifted his good arm and wrapped it around the back of Gibbs’ neck. Gibbs picked Tony up off of the bed and eased him down into the wheelchair. When Gibbs moved to draw back from Tony, a hand on his arm stopped him, their faces centimeters from each other.

Gibbs looked at Tony’s lips, unconsciously licking his own, and trying like hell to get his breathing and his growing erection under control. Tony’s hand on his arm felt like fire, warm and soothing, and threatening to spread that pleasurable feeling all over his body. If a touch on his arm could produce feelings like this, then Gibbs could only imagine what…other touches would feel like.

“Jethro,� Tony whispered softly.

“Tony,� Gibbs whispered back. “You uh…� he let out a sharp breath--get yourself under control, Marine--“You ok, DiNozzo?�

Tony licked his lips again, and let out a shaky breath. Gibbs wondered if Tony had felt the same sensations he’d felt. “Y-yeah. ‘m fine,� Tony said softly.

Gibbs pulled back and stood up. He moved behind Tony’s wheelchair and fixed his eyes on the bathroom. Get yourself under control you idiot. You’re not some hormonal sixteen year old. Tony doesn’t need this from you right now. Gibbs bit down on that thought before he could pursue it further. He resolutely ignored the he might want this from you later thought that passed through his mind before he could stop it.

Once Tony was finished in the bathroom, Gibbs helped him back into the chair. “You wanna go back to bed or head out into the living room?�

Tony stared at his lap, feeling overwhelmed even by this small choice to make. “Whichever is easier for you, Boss. I don’t wanna be a bother.�

Gibbs parked the chair right in the middle of the hallway where they were, and circled around in front of Tony where he knelt down so they were at eyelevel.

Tony stared hard at his lap, his teeth worrying the scab on his lower lip, until Gibbs reached out and put a finger to Tony’s lips.

“Hey,� he said softly, “what’s wrong?�

Tony glanced fleetingly up at Gibbs, and then quickly looked back down at his lap. “Nothin’,� Tony said, morosely. He didn’t understand these dark, depressing feelings that were threatening to consume him today. You’re worthless, DiNozzo. No one could ever want you. Gibbs will never love you. “‘M fine.�

Gibbs tapped one finger under Tony’s chin, and Tony raised his gaze. There was pain in his expressive green eyes, and it was more than physical. Tony had been on an emotional roller coaster ever since the beating, and it was looking like today was going to be one of Tony’s down days. Gibbs wished it wasn’t raining; he’d take Tony outside--that usually cheered the younger man up.

Gibbs shifted slightly, so he was sitting on his knees in front of Tony’s chair, instead of kneeling. He leaned forward a little bit, and reached a hand out to cup Tony’s cheek.

“You can tell me,� Gibbs murmured. “Can always tell me if something’s wrong,� he said softly.

Tony raised his gaze to meet the shiny blue eyes that were watching him so carefully. Gibbs’ eyes reflected the pain that Tony was feeling--did Gibbs understand the thoughts that were in Tony’s head today? Did Gibbs understand how big all of the problems in Tony’s world had become? Or was the emotion he saw there something else? Could it be Gibbs had that look in his eyes because he could feel Tony’s pain? Tony’s eyes widened and his breathing picked up pace slightly. He pressed his face into Gibbs’ touch and closed his eyes.

“I don’t wanna be a burden to you,� Tony pleaded softly, “please, I know this has to be getting to you…just let me leave,� I’ll go back home to Declan and we’ll just forget this ever happened. “Please Gibbs…you…you can’t.�

Gibbs drew back a bit, his eyes narrowing, but didn’t break the physical contact between them. “I can’t what?�

Tony blinked his eyes furiously, he would not cry. “You can’t…can’t care for me like this,� he whispered. “No…no one can…no one does…no one ever has. Please just…if you won’t take me home…just let me go to bed…let me sleep…please…I…I just want to be alone.�

Gibbs felt anger surging through him and not for the first time, he found himself cursing both DiNozzo Senior and Declan O’Sullivan for the way they treated Tony. This was so wrong. Here was this smart, sophisticated, educated, good looking, sexy man…and he looked at himself as though he were worthless, useless, unwanted by anyone, and incapable of being loved. Gibbs let out a soft sigh, this was unacceptable.

“No,� he replied shortly.

“What?� Tony snapped, raising his gaze again, instead of depression and sadness, now fiery anger filled his eyes.

Gibbs met Tony’s glare head on, undeterred by the rage suddenly threatening to erupt. “No. I’m not going to let you be alone right now Tony. You don’t have to be alone right now. You don’t have to be by yourself to express your emotions. I told you I have your six. I’ve got your six--even when it comes to your own emotions.�

Tony used his good hand to push his wheelchair back from Gibbs. He didn’t know where he thought he was going, but he was too close to the older man; he needed some space, some room to breathe. Gibbs was unrelenting however; he refused to let Tony back away from him, and followed him as he backed away.

“Leave me alone Gibbs,� Tony begged, backing up more.

“I can’t do that Tony. I don’t want you to feel like you have to go through this alone.�

“WHY NOT?!� Tony finally began to shout, frustrated and angry, he couldn’t make Gibbs listen by talking calmly, so he resorted to the only other thing he knew to do. He continued to back away as he yelled.

“IN CASE YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN BOSS--I HAVE BEEN HANDLING THIS BY MYSELF FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE! I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! I DON’T WANT ANY HELP! I JUST--� he faltered; he did want help--wanted it more than anything, he just didn’t want to have to ask for it.

Gibbs saw his hesitation and moved in quickly, pulling Tony tight against his chest as the heaving sobs began. He didn’t hold him gently, or whisper sweet nothings into Tony’s ear. He knew Tony didn’t need that. He held the other man tightly, a wall of strength, and he didn’t make a fuss when he felt tears dampening his shirt. Tony needed to grieve; Gibbs knew he did; Gibbs also knew that Tony needed someone to shelter him through it--to walk it with him, and show him that he didn’t have to do it by himself, like he had always done in the past.

Tony tried to talk, but the sobs were harsh and soul wrenching, and he couldn’t get any words out. He was surprised though--Gibbs held firm; he didn’t back down or shy away from Tony as he lost control of himself. Somehow that made it even worse and Tony felt another wave of emotion coming. He tried to push Gibbs away, but Gibbs simply held on tighter. What Tony didn’t know, what he couldn’t see, was the tears that leaked out of the older man’s eyes as well--tears for his friend, for the man whom he’d grown to care for so much. Gibbs couldn’t stop his own tears anymore than he could stop DiNozzo’s.

The two stayed like that for a long time.

Finally, Tony’s sobs subsided to quiet tears. Gibbs stroked his fingers through the back of Tony’s hair, and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He froze momentarily when he realized what he’d done, but didn’t let it faze him for long; he wouldn’t deny his feelings for Tony anymore. Tony needed to know he was not alone. Gibbs could feel Tony trembling and gently pulled back.

“C’mon. Let’s get you fixed up.� Gibbs carefully steered Tony back into the bathroom where he wiped Tony’s face clean. “There you go,� Gibbs said softly. “Much better.�

Tony started to look away, but Gibbs caught his face and wouldn’t let him look away. “I’m not a child,� Tony whispered desperately, his lower lip quivering and his eyes looking away, even as Gibbs held his face still.

Gibbs brushed his fingertips over Tony’s healing face. “No…not a child…a man; a strong, wonderful man who deserves to be cared for.�

Tony reached up and wrapped his fingers around Gibbs’ wrist gently. He stared up at Gibbs. Gibbs returned the look at Tony. “I don’t know how to let anyone do that,� Tony said softly, shaking his head. Tony refused to believe that this could be happening. Could Gibbs really be saying and doing all of these wonderful things? Was he dreaming?

Gibbs ran his fingers through Tony’s hair again and knelt back down in front of him. “I’ll teach you, if you’ll let me, Tony,� Gibbs murmured.

“I…It’s not that I don’t want that Gibbs…I do, but…how can you want this? I mean with me? I’m damaged goods, I’m--�

Gibbs pressed a gentle finger to Tony’s lips, effectively silencing him. “You are just fine the way you are. I’ll help you learn to trust Tony. I’ll never betray you and I’ll never hurt you. I know that’s difficult for you to believe, but I would like you to try. I’m not going to leave you.�

“What if you get tired of me?�

“That won’t ever happen; I will be with you every step of the way. I want to help you move beyond Declan; l want you to experience life and see how full and wonderful it can be when you take away the pain and the loneliness that you’ve always known. It can be different now, Tony. This is your chance for a new start.�

“Don’t wanna do it alone anymore Boss.�

“Jethro.�

“Don’t wanna do it alone anymore Jethro.�

“You don’t have to Tony. I’m right here. Not letting you go.�

Tony looked up at Gibbs; this strong man who, out of nowhere, assumed the role of Tony’s protector and who actually wanted to be with him. He reached up with his good hand and fisted Gibbs’ shirt, pulling the other man closer to him.

“I want to take it slow. Need to take it slow. But I’d really…�

“You’d really what, Tony?�

“I’d really like…like to kiss you now,� Tony said softly, his ears tinging pink.

Gibbs smiled and cupped Tony’s face in his hands. “I thought you’d never ask,� he said just before their lips met.

TBC...

Chapter 10: Breaking Glass

Gibbs finally broke the kiss, pulling back slightly leaving Tony swaying after him. Grinning at how relaxed the younger man looked, Gibbs brushed the back of his fingers across Tony’s jaw. Tony blinked his eyes open slowly and grinned softly at Gibbs. Gibbs smiled at the way Tony’s cheeks tinted a light shade of pink.

Gibbs rocked back to sit on his heels and chuckled. “Never woulda guessed our first kiss would be in the middle of my bathroom,� he commented, looking up at Tony with a smile on his face.

Tony lifted his good hand to his lips and rubbed his fingers over them softly. “I never guessed we’d actually have a first kiss,� he said quietly and his eyes dropped to his lap.

Gibbs’ heart ached for Tony. He wanted this man--wanted him so badly he could feel it in every fiber of his being--but before last week he’d never honestly even let himself consider that Tony might be gay. He never let himself truly believe that a relationship with his agent could be possible.

Gibbs stood up. “So back to my question. Couch or bed?�

Tony considered the options. He still felt the weight of the depression from earlier pressing on him, but it wasn’t as bad as before. However, with the rain had come a new onset of aches and pains…he really felt like hell. He let his shoulders droop slightly, feeling the muscles pull as they relaxed a bit.

“Could I go back to bed for a while? I really feel awful.�

Gibbs narrowed his eyes in concern. He knew Tony must be feeling poorly to actually ask to go to bed. Carefully he turned the wheelchair towards the guest bedroom. “Sure you can. You don’t have to ask me Tony.� Tony nodded and watched as Gibbs put the brakes on the chair before moving to his side. “Just like we did before alright? Let me do all the work.�

Gibbs handled Tony as gently as if he were handling a newborn baby. He took special care to make sure Tony’s injured legs didn’t accidentally collide with anything, and made sure not to put too much pressure on his broken ribs or collarbone. Laying him gently on the bed, Gibbs adjusted Tony’s pillows for him, making sure he was comfortable.

Tony, for his part, watched in amazement at the way this man fussed over him. He blinked in shock when Gibbs fluffed his pillow for him, before easing it gently behind his head. Gibbs adjusted the pillows under his ankle, situating the wedge pillow to help Tony keep the foot elevated without too much effort required from the injured man, and he folded one of the bed pillows in half and gently propped Tony’s knee up also. He carefully pulled the quilt up over Tony’s injured legs, passing the blanket to the younger man so he could burrow as deeply under it as he desired.

“I’ll be right back Tony,� Gibbs said softly. “Don’t go to sleep yet, okay?�

Tony nodded his assent and watched Gibbs leave the room. He adjusted himself slightly on the bed and groaned in pain when the slight movement caused his entire body to ache. A couple of minutes later Gibbs came back into the room carrying a tray.

“Got you some stuff,� Gibbs said conversationally. “Know you’re probably not hungry, but it’s time for your painkillers and antibiotics, so you need food. I brought you toast and yogurt. I also brought you a cup of coffee, some water, your meds, and--�

“Jethro,� Tony said, quietly cutting the older man off.

“Yeah?�

“Have I even thanked you for everything you’ve done?�

“Tony you don’t need t--�

“Thank you Jethro,� Tony said sincerely, his eyes meeting the other man’s and holding the gaze. “I know I’ve been a pain in the ass with the wheelchair, and being almost completely helpless, and the meds, and the panic attacks and all…but you haven’t complained--you gave up your vacation to stay with me, opened your home to me…Jethro no one’s ever been this good to me before. I don’t think ‘thank you’ covers it, to be honest.�

Gibbs looked at Tony with an unreadable expression. “You don’t have to thank me Tony,� he said quietly.

“You say that, but I can’t live with myself if I don’t. Jethro you’ve seen something in me worth saving--worth caring for. That’s more than anybody else in the world has ever done for me. How could I not say thank you?�

“I just wanted you to be safe and have somewhere to stay where you didn’t have to worry about someone hurting you anymore,� Gibbs said uneasily.

Tony could see Jethro was uncomfortable with the discussion and held out his good hand, reaching for the older man. Gibbs came and sat beside him on the mattress. Tony reached up and grabbed Gibbs’ shirt, pulling him closer. Kissing the older man softly, Tony smiled.

“I won’t make you talk about it anymore, Jethro,� Tony said with a smirk. “But I needed you to know how huge this is to me. This is…well it’s beyond what I ever could have imagined it being like. And for that, I am grateful.�

Gibbs smiled and kissed Tony chastely. “How about some toast?�

xxx

By Wednesday, Tony was starting to get a little stir crazy. He’d been out of the hospital for a week and had another week before he was supposed to go meet with the surgeon about his knee. Tony knew his knee needed to be operated on; it’d been needing it since he’d injured it playing football in college. Of course in college, there was no one to help him, least of all Declan, and Tony had decided physical therapy would be enough to get him through.

Ten years later he was regretting that decision. He considered what it would be like to have surgery and have to rely on Declan for help, as opposed to having surgery and relying on Gibbs. If Gibbs was tired of caring for Tony or frustrated by his presence, the older man wasn’t showing it. Tony was trying to be as low-maintenance as possible so he didn’t wear out his welcome.

It was mid morning and Gibbs poked his head into the guest bedroom. “How ya feelin?�

“I’m okay, tired today, but not hurting as much.�

“Get some rest. I’m going out for a bit but I’ll be back this afternoon. Will you be alright here for a couple of hours?�

Tony felt his gut clench at the idea of Gibbs leaving him. He hadn’t been without the older man since Gibbs had found him in the alley, and the idea of being left alone by him now was frankly, quite terrifying.

Not that Tony would admit that. “Um…yeah Jethro, should be fine.�

“I’m not going far, and I’ve got my cell phone on me.� Gibbs set a new cell phone on the bedside table. “This phone has a different number than your old one, but it’s got all your contacts, settings, games, and ringtones on it. You need anything before I leave? Trip to the bathroom, glass of water, anything?�

“Might be good to do all of that, just in case,� Tony said sheepishly.

Gibbs helped Tony into the chair and into the bathroom and while he was in the bathroom, Gibbs went back to the kitchen, fixed Tony up with some drinks and a couple of sandwiches. He went back to fetch Tony out of the bathroom and then got him situated back on the bed. “You wanna watch a movie?�

“Sure, could you hand me the laptop off the desk?�

Gibbs passed Tony the laptop and made sure the power cord was plugged in close by so it wouldn’t run out of power while he was gone. He passed Tony a pile of DVDs and the sandwiches.

“You need anything else?�

Tony smiled. “Think you’ve got me set up pretty well. You won’t be gone long?�

“I’ll be back in just a couple of hours. You’re sure you’re alright?�

Tony nodded. “I’m okay. Might call you every five minutes.� He looked at his lap, ashamed of his weakness.

Gibbs tapped a finger under his chin. When Tony looked up Gibbs kissed him suddenly and passionately, pressing him back into the pillows. “I don’t mind you calling me Tony. I’m not doing anything that would keep me from answering and you aren’t going to interrupt. If you need me, call me. If you don’t need me,� Gibbs winked, “call me.�

Tony smiled, bigger this time. “On it Boss,� he said.

“Jethro.� Gibbs rose from the bed. “Be back soon.� He pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “Get some rest.�

“I will,� Tony said. A moment later he heard the front door close and a second after that he heard the deadbolt lock. Thank God.

xxx

Tony watched a couple of Magnum episodes on the laptop before shutting the lid on it. He yawned and carefully stretched. Setting the laptop aside in a safe spot on the bed, Tony slid down a little lower and pulled the blanket a little higher. It didn’t take him long to fall asleep.

He hadn’t been sleeping long when a strange sound woke him. It sounded like a car, but it did not sound like Gibbs’ Impala from NCIS, nor did it sound like his pickup. Knowing that someone must be trying to come in, Tony instinctively reached for his gun and froze.

Tony didn’t have his gun. Declan did.

The ball of fear in Tony’s gut doubled in size. He took a deep breath and told himself that everything was fine, Gibbs was coming back soon; he had nothing to worry about. It didn’t work though; the more Tony tried to convince himself that everything was fine, the more he thought about everything that happened with Declan and the more upset he got as a result.

Tony could feel his breath beginning to come in ragged gasps and his heart began to pound. He blinked hard, trying to keep his vision focused. He heard the front door’s lock disengage and felt the air catch in his throat.

“Stay calm,� he muttered to himself, “rule number eight…� he stopped speaking when a gasp silenced his words, “don’t assume…verify…it’s probably nothing. It’s probably Gibbs.�

Tony glanced around for something to protect himself with, but the only things close by were the laptop and the lamp. He felt his desperation cinch up a notch and let out a slow, shuddering breath, cut short by another gasp for air. He kept his gaze focused on the doorway leading into the hall, convinced that any second from now Declan would enter the room.

“Shoulda gone home,� Tony whispered to himself, “shouldn’ta stayed, shoulda left, Declan’ll kill me when he finds me…I should leave, gotta go…� Tony managed to push himself up in bed enough to sit up, and he carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed. With his ankle casted, his knee braced, and his arm in a sling he wasn’t sure how he was going to actually get anywhere, but Tony thought if he could make it into the wheelchair he’d be able to at least move around if he needed to.

Tony could hear the creaking of the floorboards now and the sound of shoes quietly moving around on the polished wood floors. Whoever it was, they were in the house and Tony was completely unprotected. Tony could see the shadow of a man now, in the hall, coming closer.

Declan was coming for him.

“Tooo-nyyyyy,� the painfully familiar voice called out to him.

Tony forced his body to move faster--he had to get to that wheelchair and he had to do it now.

“Tooooonyyy where arrrrrreee youuuu,� Declan’s voice grew louder; he was getting closer.

“Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm, do not freak out, stay calm, stay calm,� Tony whispered to himself, shaking his head, desperately trying to get the voice out of his ears.

“I’m going to find you Tony…when I do…you’re going to remember how much you missed me! You’re going to remember how much you love me! And you’re never going to leave me again!�

“Nooooo…no-no-no-no-no please no,� Tony begged. His voice was gone; he was merely breathing the words now.

“Gibbs doesn’t want you,� Declan’s voice hissed, closer now. “He doesn’t love you--how could he? You’re a worthless piece of shit and nobody could ever love you, Tony…no one except me. I love you Tony…love you sooo much…I want to take you home with me.�

Hearing the voice coming closer with each step the speaker took, Tony lunged for the wheelchair. Unfortunately, when Gibbs helped him back from the bathroom before he left he didn’t lock both of the wheels of the chair--when Tony’s weight hit the chair, it rolled to an angle and Tony nearly fell, but thankfully the chair caught on the frame of the bed and held itself steady as Tony forced himself into the chair.

“I know you’re around here somewhere Tony,� Declan said menacingly. “It’s not nice to hide from me. Don’t you remember what happened when you tried to hide from me? Do you remember the promise I made you?�

Tony worked desperately to get the chair moving, unlocked the brake on it and using his bum knee and unstrapped arm, he maneuvered himself across the room to the closet.

“I’m getting closer Tony. I’ve been looking for you for days. When I find you I’m going to make you mine again. Going to wipe Gibbs off of you and mark you all over again. It’s going to be wonderful. Are you excited? Can you tell how excited I am?�

Trying to be as quiet as he could, Tony opened the closet door and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw there wasn’t much inside. He carefully locked the wheels on the chair and eased himself down onto the floor. He bit his lip to suppress the groan of pain when he put weight on his ankle and his knee for the first time. Tears of pain sprang to his eyes as he clumsily sat on the floor in the closet. Reaching forward and feeling the burn in his ribs, Tony tried to unlock the wheels of the chair, but his hand was shaking too badly.

Hearing the footsteps getting closer and closer, Tony desperately kicked out with his bum knee, foot connecting solidly with the chair and sending it skittering across the floor. It crashed into the bedside table, knocking the lamp over before falling onto its side. Tony reached up and pulled the closet door shut.

With any luck, Declan wouldn’t find him.

xxx

When Gibbs was with Shannon, one of the things he prided himself on was his ability to constantly surprise his beloved wife. He paid attention to her; he knew what her favorite things were, what she enjoyed doing, where she liked to eat and what she ordered, what her favorite flowers were. He made note of what brands of clothing she liked to wear and what colors she looked her best in. Gibbs would make a point to intentionally surprise his wife on a regular basis--flowers, dinner, date night, something to get her attention, anything to remind her how much he loved her.

Once he understood Tony’s situation better, Gibbs immediately began wracking his brain trying to think of ways to cheer the younger man up. And ever since their kiss on Monday things had been even better, and Gibbs was even more convinced that he wanted to do something that Tony would enjoy. After hours of plotting and scheming--he’d had hours of free time on his hands these past days--Gibbs had devised the perfect idea for cheering Tony up.

Smiling with pride, Gibbs let himself in the house and made his way through the downstairs getting things together for his surprise for Tony. Just as he was heading into the den, he heard a crash. It sounded like it came from the guest bedroom. Without a second thought, Gibbs dropped the items he was holding in his hands and ran down the hall. He’d promised to protect Tony; he wouldn’t let him down, not now, not after everything that happened.

xxx

Gibbs paused outside the bedroom and drew his gun. He carefully cleared the entrance to the bedroom and then entered the room. Gibbs quickly noticed the overturned wheelchair and the broken lamp. The glass of water he’d left for Tony had overturned and spilled on the bed. There was no sign of Tony. Gibbs checked under the bed, and the windows. Finding nothing else amiss, Gibbs began to look for his companion.

“Tony? DiNozzo, you alright? Where are you Tony? You here?�

Gibbs carefully righted the chair and paused to listen. The closet. Someone was in the closet. Holding his gun ready, Gibbs eased himself over to the closet door. He closed his fingers over the handle and started to turn the knob when he heard a soft sound. Was it a moan? A whimper? Gibbs knew he’d found Tony--he just wasn’t sure what or who else might be in the closet with him.

Gently easing the door open, Gibbs quickly realized that the only person in the closet was Tony. The younger man was sitting on the floor, legs tucked close to his body, head bent over to rest on his knees. Tony was hyperventilating, his breaths coming in short, painful sounding gasps, and his entire body was trembling.

“Jesus Tony! What the hell happened?�

Quickly holstering his gun, Gibbs dropped to his knees beside the younger man. Tony recoiled like he was burned when Gibbs placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“NO!�

“Hey easy…easy it’s me, Tony. It’s Jethro. Look up here.�

Gibbs gently replaced his hand on Tony’s shoulder, moving slowly so he wouldn’t startle the younger man. Tony’s eyes were squeezed tightly shut and he wasn’t showing any signs of calming down. Gibbs gently ran his fingers through Tony’s hair and rubbed his fingers lightly up and down the back of Tony’s neck. Taking a guess at what may be bothering Tony, Gibbs tried a different approach.

“It’s me Tony. It’s Jethro. Declan’s not here. It’s just us.�

This time Tony lifted his head. He blinked his eyes a few times, trying to get them to focus, but he was still hyperventilating, and that was starting to take its toll on the younger man. His eyes started to roll back in his head, and Gibbs knew he had to act fast.

Gently scooping Tony up, Gibbs pulled Tony out of the closet and cradled him against his chest. “Breathe with me Tony. In…now out…and in…nice and slow…now out…there ya go take it easy…in…ok out…� After several minutes, Tony let out a long sigh followed by a slow, shuddering deep breath. Gibbs eased his hold a little bit and pressed a kiss to Tony’s temple.

“B-boss?�

“Right here Tony. You alright?�

Tony nodded and looked around curiously. “Where is he?�

“Declan isn’t here Tony. Hasn’t been here.�

“Heard him Boss. Heard his car, heard him walking through the house…he was talking to me…I knew I had to get away.�

“How did you make it to the closet by yourself?�

Tony glanced around like he was confused. “I um…I’m really not sure, to be honest,� he said quietly, shame toning his voice.

“Do you think you need to go get checked out?�

Tony’s entire body was trembling. He couldn’t remember ever being so scared in his life. Tony considered Gibbs’ question. The older man didn’t sound angry, he wasn’t being judgmental or harsh--he sounded concerned. Tony didn’t want the older man to worry. “I-I dunno, J-Jethro…�

“Do you know…Tony did you put any weight on your ankle? You aren’t supposed to yet.�

Tony thought back to the moment of pure fear when he’d moved himself from the bed to the closet. “I-I used th-the wheelch-chair, Jethro,� Tony said softly.

“Good. That’s good. Okay. Well why don’t we get you up?�

“N-Not sure I can…� Tony was still trembling, despite Gibbs’ firm hold on him.

“Just let me do all the work, babe,� Gibbs said softly in his ear. Fingers brushed through Tony’s hair again and the younger man nodded.

Gibbs stood up, pulled the wheelchair across the room and then turned back to Tony. The young man was a mess, he needed to be cleaned up. His face was pale and covered with tears and sweat, and he was shivering now in addition to the trembling.

Shock.

Gibbs quickly scooped Tony up and put him in the chair. He grabbed the quilt off the bed and covered Tony with it. “C’mon Tony, let’s get you cleaned up.�

Tony could only nod. He didn’t care what they did, he just hoped Gibbs wouldn’t leave him alone again anytime soon.

xxx

Once Tony was cleaned up, Gibbs took him out to the living room and helped him onto the couch. “Sorry Jethro,� Tony said softly as Gibbs helped him get situated. “Didn’t mean to cause all this trouble.�

“Haven’t caused any trouble Tony. Can’t help that you got scared earlier. Hell I woulda been scared if I were you. The important thing is you’re safe.�

“I don’t have my gun,� Tony said quietly. “Declan has it. How am I going to go back to work? My gun and my badge are at the apartment.�

“There’s no need to worry about that right now Tony. We’ll get your things for you. I’ll get your badge and your gun back. I’m not afraid of that sonofabitch; he won’t stop me.�

“You mean you’d go in there? Just to get my things?�

“There isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you Tony. I’ll get your things for you before you go back to work.�

Tony settled back against the pillows. “I hate feeling like this.�

“Feeling like what?� Gibbs sat down on the opposite end of the couch and faced Tony.

“Kinda feel like I’ve lost all my independence, Bo--Jethro,� Tony quickly amended, catching himself. “I dunno it’s like I went from the apartment where I had to clear everything through Declan…to your house, and don’t get me wrong I love it here…but I’m helpless here--I can’t even go to the bathroom by myself! What kind of man does that make me?�

“It makes you the kind of man who is recovering from being nearly beaten to death. There’s no shame in needing help Tony. I hope I haven’t made you feel that way?�

Tony shook his head. “You haven’t made me feel that way at all. I dunno…I guess…I just…I’m not used to having to rely on someone for everything. It’s hard.�

Gibbs nodded, understanding. He remembered coming back from Kuwait after the explosion and the coma and feeling that same helplessness that Tony was describing.

“Would it help you feel better if we got out of the house for a little bit?�

Tony looked sharply up at Gibbs, shock on his face. “Where would we go? I can’t go anywhere like--� he indicated his legs, “--like this.�

“Sure you can. I’ll help you. It won’t be hard. Besides, what I have in mind is very easy to do. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy. Do you think you can do that?�

The idea of riding anywhere in Gibbs’ car or truck made him cringe. What Tony needed was leg room--lots of it. The only time his legs didn’t really hurt so badly was when he could bend and stretch them. Sitting in a cramped vehicle just didn’t sound like fun to him yet--especially after all of the abuse he’d given his legs earlier.

“I dunno Jethro,� Tony said softly. “Might be better to just stay ho--here.�

“We could stay home,� Gibbs agreed, “but I think you’d be unhappy if you found out what you’d miss if we did.�

“What do you mean, what I would miss? What would I miss? Where could we possibly be going that I would miss?�

“I have a surprise for you, if you’d like it. If you don’t feel like going today, we could go another day. But it’s something I really think you’ll enjoy…and I promise to take very good care of you. Declan will never find you where we’re going.�

For a brief moment, Tony wondered if anyone else would be able to find him where they were going either. Stupid, Tony thought to himself, Gibbs wouldn’t ever hurt you. You’re just being paranoid.

Deciding to rise to the challenge, Tony looked up at Gibbs and smiled. “Ok I’ll bite. What’s the surprise?�

TBC…

Chapter 11: Breaking the Speed Limit

Gibbs wouldn’t tell Tony what the surprise was. Instead he smirked at DiNozzo and ruffled his hair affectionately. “Why don’t you take a nap and when you wake up we can go.�

“Don’t think I can sleep, Jethro,� Tony said quietly.

Gibbs smiled and stood up. He slid his arms under Tony’s knees and wrapped an arm around the back of Tony’s shoulders. Scooping him up carefully, Gibbs set him gently into the wheelchair. He wheeled him down the hall to the guest room, stopping at the door when he saw Tony visibly tense.

“You okay?�

Tony almost couldn’t stand the thought of going back into that room again. His fear was all encompassing and he couldn’t stop it as his breath hitched in his throat when Gibbs started into the guestroom pushing the wheelchair. He nodded.

“Fine Boss.�

Gibbs stopped and his eyes narrowed. “Not buying it.� He backed the chair back down the hall.

“Boss?� Tony miserably wondered if Gibbs would make him sleep on the couch.

“Trust me Tony,� was all Gibbs said. He pushed the chair back to the living room and over to the recliner in the corner. Tony hadn’t ever sat in it, the only time he’d gone near it Gibbs had informed him that was his chair and Tony could sit on the couch.

Gibbs locked the wheels and carefully lifted Tony out of the chair and into the recliner. He carefully laid the seat back and raised the foot rest, not wanting to cause any sudden movements for Tony knowing how bad he felt.

“Hold on,� Gibbs said softly and left the room. He reappeared a moment later with several pillows and a dry blanket from the guest room. Gibbs placed a pillow behind Tony’s head, one under the arm with the sling for added support and he put a couple of pillows under Tony’s ankle and he folded one in half and tucked it gently under Tony’s knee.

“How’s that feel?� Gibbs watched Tony as well as listened to him--Tony knew he couldn’t lie, but this time he found he didn’t want to. The recliner was divine.

“Feels so good Jethro,� Tony said softly.

Gibbs smiled. “Good, you get some rest,� he said and tucked the blanket over Tony carefully. He started towards the kitchen when Tony pushed himself up slightly, grunting in pain.

“You uh…that is…�

“I’m not leaving Tony. I may walk outside, but if I go outside I’ll let you know before I do it if you’re awake.�

“You’re not leaving.�

“I’m not leaving Tony; just relax.�

Tony laid back down. He wouldn’t sleep; he’d just rest for a bit. After all, the recliner was really comfortable.

xxx

A few minutes after Gibbs tucked Tony in on the recliner he checked back in on the younger man, smirking when he saw him sound asleep, snuggled deeply under the blankets. Gibbs shook his head imagining Tony defiantly shaking his head, “DiNozzos don’t snuggle,� he’d say, crossing his arms petulantly.

Confident that Tony would remain asleep for the next few minutes, Gibbs opted not to wake him, instead headed out the back door to finish getting his surprise ready.

xxx

Tony yawned and stretched a bit as he blinked his eyes open slowly. Had he fallen asleep? He’d only been planning to lie still and rest, let his body recover from the stress of this morning’s panic attack. Tony slowly pushed himself up, groaning when his ribs and collar bone protested. His legs--surprisingly--didn’t hurt.

Gibbs appeared in the doorway. “Hey,� he said softly, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. “How’re you feelin? You’ve been asleep for a while.�

“I have? Did I miss the surprise?�

Gibbs smiled. “Nope, I was actually coming to wake you up to get ready to go. It’s about 5:30.�

Tony smiled when Gibbs came over and kissed him lightly. A light blush colored his cheeks and ears and Gibbs kissed him again.

A few minutes later Tony was ready to go after a quick trip to the head and changing his clothes. Gibbs pushed the wheelchair through the dining room towards the back door in the kitchen.

“So uh…where we heading Gibbs?�

“Stephens City,� Gibbs replied.

“What’s in Stephens City?� Tony wondered out loud.

Gibbs smirked. “Guess you’ll have to wait and see. It’s a surprise, I’m not telling you. You’ll have to wait and see for yourself.�

Tony tensed a bit, unsure about going somewhere that no one would know where he was--even though he was with Gibbs.

“Did you tell anyone where we’re going?�

“Told a buddy of mine that we were heading down to Stephens City. Be back late tonight.�

Tony stiffened in the chair. This was becoming a frequent occurrence for him. “Uhh…y’know Gibbs I’m kinda tired…think I’ll just stay here…�

Gibbs frowned. He was excited about this evening. He wanted Tony to be excited about it as well. Gibbs knelt in front of Tony’s chair and looked up at the younger man. Tony’s face was a bit pale…Gibbs realized Tony was afraid.

“Tony, what’s wrong?�

“Wrong? Nothing’s wrong Boss I’m fine, just uh…you know I haven’t been out since I got home from the hospital except to go for walks with you…and those are during the day…it’s still daylight out and…�

Gibbs smiled sadly at Tony. “Hey,� he said gently. “I want us to enjoy this evening. It’s supposed to be fun. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Do you trust me to have your six?�

That was the question. Did Tony actually trust Gibbs? He trusted him at work, trusted Gibbs to watch his back and keep him safe on the job…and he’d trusted Gibbs to watch over him and keep him safe while he was in the hospital and once he’d been released. Why was now different?

“It’s just…I haven’t…I mean it’ll be late when we get back and…�

Gibbs pressed a finger over Tony’s lips, effectively silencing the younger man. “Shhhh…I will keep you safe.�

“I trust you,� Tony sighed as he tried to push down his nerves.

Lifting Tony gently from his chair, Gibbs could feel the fine tremors that wracked Tony’s body. Placing Tony on the counter, Gibbs stood so they were eye to eye. “Talk to me,� Gibbs encouraged.

"Do you think Declan knows where I am?" Tony said uneasily, not wanting to meet Gibbs' gaze and see the rejection he feared would be there. "I mean...he's a smart guy, he's realized I'm not coming back...do you think he's trying to find me? Was I completely nuts for the-the panic attack I had earlier today? I haven't been out of the house after dark since..."

Gibbs sighed softly. “Aww hell Tony,� he murmured. He leaned forward slightly and brushed his fingers down Tony’s cheek softly, before running the pads of his fingertips over Tony’s lips.

Tony flinched back unexpectedly, startling Gibbs. “Stop it� he cried, good hand rising to ward off a potential blow. Gibbs took a step back, a bit out of Tony’s space, but still within touching distance of the younger man.

“What is it? What’s wrong?�

“Why are you doing this?� Tony sounded so tired, so emotionally exhausted; Gibbs thought he might just break down right then and there.

“Why am I doing what?�

“Why are you being nice? What do you want from me?�

Gibbs immediately closed the gap between them and pulled Tony into a fierce hug being mindful of Tony’s broken ribs. “I don’t want anything from you except your trust,� Gibbs said softly. “But I have to earn that from you, so I’m going to do everything I can to work on that. I care for you Tony. I want you to be happy.�

“But why? Why do you care? No one has ever…� Tony’s voice trailed off and he blinked back the tears that suddenly filled his eyes. “No one has ever cared about me before,� he spat sadly.

Gibbs sighed. He relaxed his hold on Tony and looked at him carefully. “I’m going to say this, and you might not believe me. I’ll tell you as many times as it takes to make you understand though. I care for you Tony. I care what happens to you and I want you to be safe and happy.�

“I don’t know how to do this,� Tony breathed softly, eyes boring into Gibbs, trying to make the older man understand how new this was to him. How foreign it was.

“I’ll help you. You aren’t going back to those people who have hurt you Tony. I will keep you safe.�

Tony suddenly hugged Gibbs, wrapping his arms around the older man’s neck and trying to ignore the desperation that threatened to overwhelm him. To Tony’s surprise Gibbs returned the embrace.

“Let’s get out of here, what do ya say? It’ll be fun,� Gibbs promised. Tony hesitated for only a moment before he nodded his head, trusting Gibbs to take care of him.

xxx

Gibbs had gone to visit a friend of his from the marines, a man by the name of Doug Lawrence who lived over on the east side of DC. He’d explained to his buddy what was going on, how Tony had come to stay with him, and how desperately the young man needed to get out and have some fun. He’d explained his plan to Doug who immediately nodded his head and agreed to help Gibbs. When Doug opened the door and showed Gibbs what he had to offer, Gibbs smiled. It was better than he’d ever imagined.

xxx

Tony’s jaw dropped when Gibbs rolled him out the back door. He suddenly understood why Gibbs had suggested Tony wear something warm, tossing him an old hoodie sweatshirt of his own for the younger man to put on.

It sat in Gibbs’ driveway in all its glory and Tony couldn’t stop the huge beaming smile that covered his face.

“Is…is that what I think it is?�

Gibbs smiled. “Well if you think it’s a Winward Blue 1969 Pontiac Firebird Convertible with slit taillights and a 350 V8, then yes Tony it’s exactly what you think it is.�

“But…I mean this car is…where did you get it?�

“I borrowed it from my buddy. Told him I had a friend who needed cheering up and there’s nothing like a well maintained vintage muscle car to cheer someone up. We are going to take a short road trip down to Stephens City where you can have the other half of your surprise.�

Tony thought he’d died and gone to heaven when Gibbs lifted him into the front seat of the Firebird. The leg room in the car was amazing--plenty of room for him to bend his legs and shift his position if he needed.

Between Tony’s smile and the fact that he relaxed, Gibbs knew he had made the right decision. Placing the wheelchair in the backseat, Gibbs moved around to the driver’s seat to set out to their destination. The running commentary that Tony gave on the car and the scenery gave Gibbs a glimpse of the Tony he was falling in love with.

“This is great,� Tony smiled as he closed his eyes and allowed the wind to just blow over his face. “I feel like we’ve left the crap behind just for a little while.�

Gibbs looked at Tony and smiled. “Good,� he said softly. He reached over and rested his hand on top of Tony’s, pleased when the younger man turned his hand over so their fingers could link. “Want this to be relaxing for you,� Gibbs said. “Wanted to do something nice for you, something to make you forget all the shit that’s going on--even if it’s just for an evening.�

“Where did you say we are going?�

Gibbs smirked. “I didn’t,� he replied. He saw Tony tense ever so slightly and squeezed Tony’s hand gently. “Hey…if it will make you feel more comfortable, I’ll tell you. The car was the big surprise.�

Tony looked over at Gibbs with a grateful smile on his face. “You don’t have to tell me,� he said softly. “I trust you.�

“You sure?�

Tony nodded. “I’m sure.�

Gibb nodded and turned all of his focus back to the road ahead of them. Tony leaned back in the seat and stared up at the sky. He concentrated on the sound of the car’s image, the sensation of the wind blowing over his face, and the feel of the hand clasping his tightly. Declan and all the drama surrounding his abuser drifted from his mind and for the first time in years, Tony felt truly at peace.

xxx

Tony’s attention peaked when Gibbs got off the exit in Stephens City. It wasn’t the most exciting town in Virginia--Tony had actually never been there before. Gibbs seemed to know right where he was going though, so Tony didn’t question it.

Tony smiled when Gibbs pulled into a restaurant with curbside service. Gibbs leaned back a bit so Tony could have a better view of the menu.

“Get anything you want, my treat,� Gibbs said quietly. Tony smiled and nodded his thanks. It occurred to him that he didn’t actually have any money--his wallet was still at the apartment with his gun and his badge and his clothes and--

“Tony, c’mon back. No zoning out tonight.� Gibbs’ voice was soft and his eyes were filled with concern. Tony swallowed hard.

“Sorry,� he said softly, his face burning with embarrassment.

“No need for apologies DiNozzo,� Gibbs said. “We’ll take this evening a step at a time. Let’s figure out what we’d like to eat.�

A few minutes later the waitress brought the food to the car. Cheeseburger and fries for Gibbs and Tony had opted for chili dogs and a cherry coke. They each kept the conversation lighthearted as they ate, slurping on sodas and munching happily on fries. When they were done, Gibbs put their trash in the garbage and got back in the car.

“You ready for the rest of your surprise?�

Tony smiled and nodded eagerly. He couldn’t even imagine what Gibbs had come up with to surprise him, but he knew the older man was aware of Tony’s health--Gibbs wouldn’t plan anything that was above Tony’s ability level with his broken legs, and Gibbs also knew that Tony was skittish--the slightest things were freaking him out these days. Tony knew Gibbs would consider that as well. He enjoyed the feel of the breeze and let his arm dangle out the side of the car as Gibbs sped down the road.

Tony’s eyes widened when he saw the sign at the entrance and his jaw dropped in amazement at Gibbs’ surprise.

“Boss…Jethro is this what I think it is?�

Gibbs rolled up to the ticket booth and held out some money to the attendant. “Two please.�

The ticket attendant ripped off the two tickets and smiled at Gibbs and Tony. “Enjoy,� she said.

Tony’s eyes grew impossibly wider as they drove through the gate. Off to one side there was a playground, to the right stood the concession stand, and to their left stood the huge movie screen.

“You brought me to a drive-in theater? In a vintage muscle car?� Tony looked at Gibbs with shining eyes. This was the most perfect thing anyone could do for him. “G-Gibbs…Jethro I…� he stared at his lap, willing the tears back. He felt so overwhelmed he didn’t know how he would ever regain control of himself. He could feel Gibbs’ hand warm on his shoulder, squeezing gently.

“Look at me, c’mon Tony look up here.�

Sniffling, Tony finally glanced up.

“You alright?� Gibbs’ face was a mask of concern--he was deeply troubled by Tony’s reaction.

Tony nodded and tried to laugh it off. “It’s just so perfect,� he said quietly, gazing at all the sights around him. “The dinner, the car, the theater…it’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.�

“You don’t even know what movies we’re seeing yet.� Gibbs could easily see the sincerity in Tony’s words and it broke his heart to know that something as simple as a night out for dinner and a movie could be considered the nicest thing to ever happen to Tony. Gibbs fought down a shudder at the thought of what Tony’s life must have been like.

“Doesn’t matter Jethro. Could be Toy Story or The Care Bears and it would still be the greatest thing ever.�

“Well I think we’ve got something a little better than little kids movies, Tony,� Gibbs said softly. He held up the ticket stubs. “They’re having a Bogart Festival. Tonight’s double feature is Casablanca and The Big Sleep. Hope they’re good choices…� Gibbs’ voice trailed off with a sheepish tone.

“Are you kidding? Those are two of the greatest Bogart movies of all time. Gibbs…how did you…I mean how’d you even hear about all this?�

“They do it every year. Been thinking you’d enjoy it for some time now, but didn’t know how to go about asking you…you always seemed so busy,� Gibbs said uneasily.

Tony’s eyes widened. “Oh Jethro,� he said quietly, “this…I mean there’s nothing anymore perfect you could do here…this is the best surprise anyone’s ever gotten me--the best gift--the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. It’s perfect. I-I don’t know how to even begin to repay you for this…for everything.� Tony’s eyes dropped back to his lap, unable to look the older man in the eye.

Gibbs tapped Tony twice under the chin. “You can repay me by enjoying yourself. I wanted to do this for you. You deserve nice things, and you deserve to have interests and people to share them with. I don’t promise to know all the movie references or movie trivia or even the actors’ names. What I do promise is to be willing to watch the movies with you. Anytime I can Tony.�

Gibbs wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulder and tugged him close, pressing a kiss to the top of Tony’s head as the younger man laid his head back on Gibbs’ shoulder. The lights in the lot dimmed and Gibbs carefully cued the radio in to the FM station that would give them the sound from the movie. He wished silently for a peaceful evening with no unnecessary stress.

TBC…

Chapter 12: Breaking Down Defenses

Gibbs wrapped his arm tightly around Tony’s shoulder and scooted him closer as the movie began. Tony glanced up at Gibbs and smiled softly before turning his attention back to the movie. Gibbs ran his fingers lightly up and down Tony’s upper arm, and rested the side of his head on top of Tony’s.

“This okay,� Gibbs asked softly. He felt Tony nod and smiled.

Gibbs didn’t move as they watched the movie. He wanted Tony to get used to being touched without it hurting him. Every now and then he’d double check with the younger man, checking on him and making sure he was still doing ok. Tony seemed happy and relaxed, enjoying the movie and the time being spent with Gibbs.

An hour or so into the movie, Gibbs felt some of his own anxiety dissipate when Tony reached his good arm up and held onto Gibbs’ hand that was on his arm. Their fingers laced together loosely and Tony looked up at him and smiled. Gibbs returned the smile and pressed a soft kiss to Tony’s forehead. Tony smiled again--a real smile that reached his eyes. Looking up, Tony leaned in and allowed his lips to brush against Jethro’s.

Following Tony’s lead, Gibbs deepened the kiss just slightly before Tony pulled back slightly and looked at him. “Unbelievable,� he murmured, and kissed Gibbs again.

“What is,� Gibbs asked quietly.

“That this is happening…that it’s real…it is real, isn’t it?�

Gibbs smiled and kissed Tony again. “It’s real Sweetheart,� he whispered, “I promise you it’s real.�

Tony shifted a bit and leaned into Gibbs’ strong frame a little more. Feeling that the angle was awkward, Gibbs shifted also, hoping to make Tony more comfortable. Suddenly their bodies slid together into such a perfect fit that neither of them could imagine ever wanting to be anywhere other than right there.

During the intermission between the two movies, Gibbs unloaded the wheelchair and helped Tony out of the car so they could both visit the head. Tony dipped his head with embarrassment when several young teenagers made snide comments, but Gibbs cuffed him very softly on the back of the head.

“Don’t you dare let them make you feel bad. None of this is your fault, and soon enough you’ll be able to chase those kids down and teach them a thing or two. Focus on tonight and don’t let some stupid kids ruin it for you.�

Tony nodded and leaned his head all the way back so he was staring up at Gibbs. A small smile drifted across his lips. “Thanks,� he said quietly.

“Don’t need to thank me,� Gibbs said uncomfortably. “Just need to relax and enjoy the evening. That’s thanks enough.�

Once they were finished with the restroom, and after a quick stop by the concession stand for some Twizzlers and Milk Duds--“I would have never pegged you as a twizzlers kind of guy, Jethro,�--they returned to the car (parked on the far side of the lot away from the lights) and their previous comfortable position.

Tony had never felt so safe and secure in his life as he had these past days with Gibbs. Feeling a bit brave, Tony gently moved away from Gibbs and turned to look at him.

“You okay? Are you hurting? Do we need to go? Did I do something to--�

Tony reached up and placed a finger from his good hand over Gibbs’ lips. Then he scooted a bit closer, making sure he stayed facing Gibbs, his eyes never leaving the older man’s face. Tony moved in so close that his lips nearly brushed Gibbs’ ear.

“Looks like you need to relax too,� he breathed, causing Gibbs to shiver.

Gibbs looked at Tony carefully. Gone were the haunted shadows from Tony’s eyes, and his face didn’t hold all of the stress lines Gibbs had seen earlier. He didn’t know how long this relaxation would hold, but for now, for the moment, Tony was letting his real personality shine through.

Gibbs liked what he saw.

Tony pressed the lightest of kisses against Gibbs’ jawline, right below his ear, and Gibbs closed his eyes trying not to move--he didn’t want to do anything to spook or hurt Tony. So he held very still and let Tony explore his new lover carefully, the movie completely forgotten. Gibbs could feel Tony’s muscles beginning to tremble as he tried to hold his body at the awkward angle. He gently reached up and cupped Tony’s face in his hands, turning to press a passionate kiss to his younger lover’s lips.

Returning the favor, Gibbs began to kiss down Tony’s neck and gently eased him back against the seat. Tony’s eyes widened and he stared at Gibbs.

“What? What is it? Am I hurting you?�

Tony smiled dreamily and shook his head. “I just have to keep pinching myself,� he whispered. “I can’t believe this is real, but it is. This is real. You’re real.�

“And I want you,� Gibbs said, moving to straddle Tony’s hips carefully, taking extra care not to hurt Tony’s injured legs. He glanced at him carefully, “this ok?�

Tony nodded, “quit worrying so much and kiss me,� he whispered, pulling Gibbs closer with his good hand.

Leaning in, Gibbs pressed his lips to Tony’s; taking time to savor the feel and the taste of his lover. Leaning in closer, Gibbs felt his groin bump Tony’s; both men stifling a moan at the added stimulation.

“God,� Tony panted as the kiss broke apart.

“Yeah,� Gibbs groaned trying to hold it together.

“We should watch the movie,� Tony whispered as he leaned up to kiss Gibbs one more time. “Don’t want to start something we can’t finish here.�

“I want to finish it,� Gibbs whispered as he returned the kiss. “Do you?�

“Yeah,� Tony sighed as Gibbs moved back to his side and took him into the safety of his arms.

xxx

Jethro Gibbs felt younger than he had in years. Throughout the remainder of the movie he and Tony had each teased the other, dropping kisses or touches unexpectedly, keeping them both wound up and on edge for the next hour. By the time the film ended--thanks to his friend adding the custom bench seats--Gibbs was sprawled against his door with one leg up on the seat, Tony turned with his broken ankle up on the seat next to Gibbs’ leg, his back warm and heavy against Gibbs’ chest. Tony’s forehead was pressed against the side of Jethro’s neck and his steady breathing made the older man wonder if he was asleep.

As the credits rolled, Gibbs turned his head and kissed Tony’s temple. “You still awake,� he murmured. He didn’t want to disturb him if he was asleep, but they needed to situate themselves so that Gibbs could drive--even if that meant sliding Tony down to put his head on Jethro’s lap. Tony moaned but didn’t say anything. Jethro narrowed his eyes in concern.

“Tony? You okay?�

He shifted Tony a bit so he could see his face. Gone was the relaxation from earlier, replaced instead by lines of pain. Shit. They’d been so caught up in the evening that Gibbs forgot to give Tony his latest dose of painkillers. He quickly fished the pill bottle out of his pocket.

“Hey…Tony you with me? Look up here.� Tony’s lips were turned down in a deep frown and he dutifully kept his eyes closed.

Gibbs could have kicked himself--he knew Tony was too stubborn to ask for the medication--he shouldn’t have forgotten.

“You hurtin’?� Jethro asked softly, frowning when Tony nodded tightly.

“Sorry,� Tony whispered.

“Hey--you don’t apologize for that. It’s my fault I forgot to give you your next dose of pain meds. Here…got ‘em right here Tony. They’ll make you feel better c’mon.�

Tony reached out his hand and eagerly swallowed them down chasing them with a last sip of his cherry coke from earlier. He ran his good hand over his face and looked around.

“Movie over?�

Gibbs nodded, concerned. For Tony to tune the movie out like that he had to be hurting pretty bad. “Why didn’t you say something?�

“Didn’t wanna ruin the evening,� Tony said regretfully, his eyes on his lap. “It’s the most perfect night of my life and I didn’t want to ruin it by whining because it hurts to breathe.�

“Ribs hurting?� Jethro asked sympathetically. Tony nodded.

Gibbs turned the car on. “Tell you what, why don’t you lean on me? Gonna get chilly on the ride back…maybe our body heat can help keep you relaxed. I’ll put the roof up and--�

“No don’t,� Tony pleaded. “I’ll be okay…I always wanted to ride in a convertible at night…please don’t put the roof up, I won’t complain.�

Gibbs shook his head. “It’s not about you complaining Tony,� he said softly, and leaned over to kiss the corner of Tony’s mouth. “It’s about making sure you aren’t hurting.�

“What if I covered up with something--is there a blanket or something? I won’t be too cold I promise.�

Gibbs reached around to the back seat and grabbed the heavy blanket he’d stored there just in case they needed it. He quickly draped it over Tony’s lap and pulled it up to his shoulders.

“Now if you lean on me will that be comfortable for you?� Tony nodded and quickly leaned back against Gibbs again, pressing his back against Gibbs’ side. Gibbs started the car and wrapped his arm around Tony’s chest lightly. “Just try and relax Tony. We’ll be home soon.�

xxx

Tony dozed lightly for most of the trip back, enjoying the feeling of being so close and comfortable with Gibbs. He’d never imagined that he could have this relationship with the older man--had never imagined that he’d ever find a way to leave Declan. He thought back over the day he’d escaped--because that’s what it had been, an escape. Tony remembered forcing his body forward, dragging himself along until he reached the elevator, and from there, forcing his body to keep walking until he was outside--until he was safe. The best decision he’d made was calling Gibbs.

Gibbs hadn’t really left his side hardly any since he’d made that call. He was always there to help with moving, or with his medicine. Sometimes he was there simply for conversation and company. Gibbs was there for him when he was lonely, reassuring him when he was scared, and always willing to draw him out of his own head. Gibbs--no, Jethro--never let Tony wallow in his misery. He didn’t let him slow down long enough to really feel his misery. Misery at being so weak, at being abused for so long, for being stupid enough to get sucked into that in the first place.

Feeling the darkness creeping in, Tony pushed those thoughts down. This really had been the most perfect night of his life. He couldn’t recall an evening--not even as a child--when someone had considered his interests so carefully, and planned an entire night around those interests. Tony knew Gibbs could care less about the old movies they’d gone to see. He’d done it though, and it seemed like he enjoyed himself too, and it was all for Tony.

Tony had never felt so loved in his entire life.

Tony drifted between being awake and asleep for the duration of the drive. He was warm under the blanket and pressed against Jethro, and he felt safe with Jethro’s arm tucked securely around him. He was loved and protected, and Gibbs had his six. No harm would come to him tonight. Tony had given Gibbs a hard time about going out, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he’d doubted the older man.

Gibbs pulled the car off the exit back in DC and glanced at Tony with a sad smile. Tony was reclined against his body, head rolled down and to the side, his breathing deep and even. Gibbs knew he was sleeping soundly. He was happy to have done this for Tony, to have given his lover a night of fun where he could feel safe and relax a bit. As Gibbs brought the car to a stop at the end of the exit, Tony stirred.

“Shhhh,� Gibbs whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Tony’s head. “We’re almost home, just rest.�

Tony slept until Gibbs stopped at the next red light. It seemed that stopping the car was enough to rouse him. He sat up a bit, blinking blearily and looked around.

“Where’re we?� he mumbled softly, rubbing his eye with a curled fist like a sleepy toddler.

“Almost home, we’re in the downtown district,� Gibbs said quietly. “You okay?�

“Mmmm yeah, sleepy,� Tony said softly. He settled back against Gibbs as they waited for the light to change.

Movement on the street corner caught Tony’s eye and he blinked trying to clear his vision enough to see. There was a good looking man on the street corner, talking to some kids. It didn’t take long for Tony, even in his highly medicated state, to recognize that it was a drug deal taking place.

“Look Gibbs,� Tony whispered. Gibbs followed Tony’s gaze.

Suddenly the good looking man on the corner’s face darkened and he walked away from the kids toward their car.

“Great,� Gibbs murmured, not wanting any kind of altercation tonight.

“You!� The man suddenly hissed, pointing at Tony. Tony blinked again and suddenly he realized who he was looking at.

“Gibbs…drive…run the light Gibbs, you gotta go…we gotta go Gibbs,� Tony whispered, his voice shaking.

“Why did you leave me,� the man called, anger showing in his features. “I love you! You stupid bastard--why’d you leave me! I love you! Come back to me!�

“Is that--�

But Gibbs didn’t need to finish that question. It was obvious from the man’s words and the way Tony had shrunk back against him, the evening’s calm completely gone, exactly who that was.

Quickly looking both ways, Gibbs floored the gas and sped through the intersection.

“You’re mine slut!� Was the last thing they heard Declan say as the car disappeared into the night.

xxx

Tony was a complete wreck by the time Gibbs pulled into the driveway. He helped Tony sit up and then made quick work of getting the wheelchair out of the back of the car. When he moved to sit Tony in the chair, Tony refused to let go of Gibbs.

“It’s okay Tony,� Gibbs reassured him gently, “we need to get inside now. It’s alright. We’re safe here. You’re safe here. I’ve got you, c’mon.�

Tony bent at the waist when Gibbs sat him in the chair, leaning his head over his lap, trying to make himself as small as possible. Gibbs heard the hiss of pain and gently pulled him back up. “You’re going to hurt yourself sitting like that,� he said softly. “Gonna put too much pressure on all those broken bones. You don’t wanna have to start the process all over again.�

Jethro quickly unlocked the door and moved them both inside. He’d deal with the car later, but for now, his only concern was for Tony. Locking the door behind them, Gibbs moved Tony down the hall to the bathroom. Tony was so distraught Gibbs was considering calling Ducky, but he decided he’d hold off for a few minutes. He wet a washcloth and used it to gently wipe the sweat and tears that were accumulating on Tony’s face.

“Easy,� he murmured. “Got you now…safe here…shhhh…�

Once Gibbs wiped Tony’s face clean, he leaned over and pressed a very gentle kiss to the corner of Tony’s mouth. Tony’s arm wrapped around Gibbs’ neck again, and Gibbs hugged him close.

“I’ll protect you Tony. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. Declan is not going to hurt you.�

Tony was still groggy from the pain medication and he leaned heavily on Gibbs. “Let’s go to bed,� Gibbs whispered. “C’mon babe, you’re exhausted.�

Gibbs moved them back down the hall to the guest room. Memories of his earlier flashback caused Tony to tense again and he recoiled against the back of the chair, moaning softly. Jethro helped Tony to change into some loose fitting more comfortable sweats, and he carefully situated him on the bed. Tony looked up at him with huge eyes, round with fear, and his good hand would not let go of his.

Jethro sat down on the edge of the bed, still debating calling Ducky.

“You need to relax,� Gibbs pressed softly. “Do you want me to call Ducky?�

Tony shook his head. He didn’t want anyone or anything coming near him tonight…except Jethro.

“Stay,� he whispered.

Knowing that he’d already secured the house--the front door had been locked before he left, and he’d locked the back door as soon as he’d closed it when they returned…Gibbs nodded.

“Alright,� he said softly. He stood up and closed the bedroom door. He opened the door to the closet and checked it just for good measure--for Tony’s peace of mind. Then he closed the door back, and unbuttoned his jeans. Being a hot-sleeper, Gibbs usually only slept in boxers and a t-shirt. Jethro crawled up on the bed with Tony and carefully pulled him closer.

Tony rolled toward Gibbs and clung to him like he’d never let go. Gibbs ran a soothing hand up and down Tony’s shoulder blade, smiling when he felt Tony almost immediately begin to relax.

“Got you now,� he said softly. “I’m going to keep you safe. Nothing is going to happen to you.� He repeated the words over and over again, long after Tony was asleep, until he joined his lover in peaceful rest.

xxx

Gibbs was shocked awake by the sensation of being struck by something. Hard. He sat up, trying to place where he was and what he’d heard, rubbing his chest where he’d taken the hit. It didn’t take him long to figure out what was going on.

Turning to his lover, Gibbs gently cupped Tony’s face. His lover’s face was a mask of pain and fear. Still sound asleep--thanks to the pain medication--Tony was trapped in an endless nightmare of memories. Gibbs shook Tony’s shoulder carefully.

“Tony. Wake up babe, c’mon sweetheart. It’s a nightmare. That’s all it is, wake up. I’m right here. It’s Jethro. I’m right here. You’re safe Tony.�

Somehow in all of his struggling, Tony had managed to wrench his arm free of the sling. Gibbs realized that was the arm Tony had hit him with. He’d worry about that in a minute, for now he needed to get Tony awake.

Slapping at his face lightly, Gibbs watched Tony for signs of wakefulness. He jumped back, slightly startled when Tony suddenly shot up in bed with a shout.

“Hey easy,� Gibbs said softly. “It’s alright. Was just a nightmare.�

“Oh God Boss,� Tony said, his face in his hands. “It was terrible--oh God, oh God,� he panted softly.

“Hey look at me,� Gibbs said quietly. When Tony didn’t respond, Gibbs tried again. “Tony look at me.�

Still not getting a response, Gibbs pulled out the big guns. “Agent DiNozzo!�

Tony blinked and looked at him. Tears filled his eyes and it made Gibbs’ heart ache to know that his lover was in so much pain.

“Hey, you okay?�

Tony shook his head. His movements were slow and jerky, uneven. Gibbs pulled him into a gentle embrace, running his fingers through Tony’s sweaty hair and pressing kisses to the top of his head.

“I’ve got you Tony. You’re safe. I’ve got you.�

Eventually Tony began to calm, leaning a little heavier against Gibbs’ strong frame. Gibbs took the opportunity to check Tony over.

“Need to get your arm back in the sling babe. And you’re probably going to want more pain killers. You hurting?�

Tony shook his head. Not hurting. Gibbs narrowed his eyes a bit. A quick glance at the clock told him the medication should have worn off by now. Figuring Tony was feeling no pain because of the adrenaline in his system, Gibbs stood up.

“It’s time for your meds, Tony,� he said gently, his hand on the doorknob.

“Don’t go!� Tony’s cry was strangled and forced out around the deep gasps of air he was still drawing in. Gibbs sighed and moved back to Tony’s side. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Gibbs stroked Tony’s face gently.

“What can I do Tony? How can I help you?�

“Make me forget,� Tony said firmly.

“I’d love to make you forget Tony. But how can I do that--�

Tony grabbed Gibbs by his t-shirt and pulled him down into a hard kiss.

TBC…

Chapter 13: Breaking Bowls

Gibbs leaned into the kiss, taking care not to put too much pressure on Tony’s tender ribs. He let Tony take the lead for a moment and then pulled back and shook his head.

“I’m not in this to be a distraction for you, Tony,� he said quietly. “I want this as badly as you, but I don’t want Declan in bed with us,� he said firmly.

Tony nodded and tried to pull Gibbs back down again. Gibbs leaned down and kissed him chastely. “First you take your meds, then we continue where we left off. I’ll be right back--I’ll leave the door open so you can see I’m only stepping to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.�

Tony watched him with wide eyes as his lover stepped quickly down the hall, disappeared inside the bathroom for only a few seconds, before returning and closing the door, pill bottle in hand.

“Don’t need ‘em,� Tony argued as Gibbs shook the pills out into his hand.

“There’s no reason for you to hurt. You just slapped me with an arm that has a broken collar bone Tony. You’re hurting. You don’t need to hide from me.�

Tony reluctantly took the pills and swallowed them down with the cup of water Jethro always kept for him by the bed. Satisfied, Gibbs set the pill bottle down on the bedside table and crawled up on the bed so he was straddling Tony, much like he’d done earlier in the car. Sitting on his hands and knees over Tony, Gibbs leaned down and kissed him, his tongue probing and exploring Tony’s mouth, pressing his lover into the pillow, taking complete control.

Tony kissed him back, but could feel Gibbs easily dominating his mouth. Surprisingly it didn’t make him feel nervous or scared in the way that it had when Declan acted similarly. Tony knew Gibbs was paying attention to every detail surrounding Tony--the expression in his eyes, the way he was breathing, if he was breathing, if he was hurting, if he was scared--all of it. Tony ran his free hand up and down the outside of Gibbs’ arm, feeling the strength of the muscles there.

Finally Tony broke the kiss and stared up at Gibbs, both men breathing had.

“Fuck me,� Tony whispered. “Please Jethro…fuck me please,� Tony begged.

Gibbs smiled softly at Tony and shook his head. “Not fucking,� he said, “not tonight. Tonight I’m going to love you.� He leaned down and kissed Tony again softly, passionately.

Tony’s eyes widened as he returned the kiss. Never, ever in his life had he felt so special and loved as Gibbs made him feel tonight--and it seemed Gibbs wasn’t interested in stopping.

“I’m going to make love to you,� Gibbs whispered. “Is that okay?�

“Please,� Tony whispered softly against Jethro’s lips as they pressed to his own.

Reaching down, Gibbs pulled the waist band of Tony’s sweats down to expose a little portion of his hips. Moving from the bed, Jethro pulled the sweatpants off his lover kissing every inch of skin as he exposed it.

Once Tony was naked from the waist down, Gibbs quickly shed his shirt and boxers before crawling back onto the bed with Tony. As soon as skin came into contact with skin, both men mewled at the sensation of being that close to one another.

Gibbs pulled back slightly and looked over at the nightstand hoping to see something they could use for lube. Seeing a bottle of lotion, Gibbs opened it and squirted some into his hand. He smiled down at Tony as he rubbed his hands together to warm the lotion. Satisfied that his hands were slick and warm enough, Gibbs pressed his hips tightly against Tony, and wrapped his hand around their two erections.

Tony arched off the bed when Gibbs’ hand touched him. He stared up at Gibbs, eyes wide, in awe that this was actually happening. It was too good to be true.

Gibbs watched his lover carefully. Tony watched Gibbs for a bit before looking around him, trying to memorize this moment and record it forever.

“Look at me Tony. Just watch me. I don’t want you to get lost right now--stay with me okay? It’s just you and me, we’re together, we’re safe, and I’m loving you. Stay with me and enjoy that.�

Tony wrapped his good arm around Gibbs’ neck and nodded. He focused on Gibbs’ eyes--he had really incredible eyes--and on the calloused hand that was currently wrapped around his still growing erection. Gibbs was squeezing and pumping his hand nice and slow and…ohhhh Tony groaned--Gibbs had his erection in his hand too--both of them were squeezing and rubbing together…God it felt amazing.

His eyes closed suddenly and Tony fought them open again. This felt so good…being with Gibbs in any way was more than he could have ever hoped for…and this was just…

Tony yawned. Gibbs took the opportunity to smother Tony’s mouth with another dominating kiss. Tony liked kissing Gibbs--he had a power about him, an authority--Gibbs told Tony he was safe just by the way he kissed him. The sensations were building and Tony couldn’t help it as he thrust up against Gibbs’ hand surrounding their cocks.

“Easy,� Gibbs whispered softly, smiling down at Tony in the moonlit room. “Just take it easy, I’ve got you.�

Tony gasped as Gibbs rotated his hips, grinding them against Tony’s and increasing the sensations for both of them. Breathing harder, Tony smiled up at Gibbs, leaning up into the kiss and trying to reclaim some control of the situation. He couldn’t let Gibbs have all the control without a fight. He wasn’t some weak, submissive…

His thoughts began to trail off when Gibbs suddenly nipped his earlobe bringing him back to the present. “Stay with me,� he said gently, “you alright?�

Tony groaned. “Y-you get me th-this c-closeeee and…assssssk m-me…that?�

Gibbs smiled down at his younger lover. “Wanna make you cum…gonna make you cum with me,� he groaned and he squeezed their erections and moved his hand slower and then faster.

That was all it took to send Tony spiraling over the edge. He thrust his hips hard into Gibbs’ hand, crying out as the passion of the moment overwhelmed him and clawing at Gibbs’ shoulder with his good hand.

Gibbs’ eyes narrowed when Tony’s eyes rolled back in his head and his hand dropped limply to the bed beside them. Pulling back from his lover, Gibbs looked him over carefully before smiling slightly. Tony was flat on his back, t-shirt covered in sticky, quickly cooling cum, breathing deeply and completely relaxed. Gibbs shook Tony’s shoulder carefully.

“Tony? Babe you ok?�

Tony groaned and snuffled a little bit, pulling Gibbs down on top of him and wrapping his arm tightly around the older man. Gibbs chuckled and gently disengaged himself from Tony. Tony moaned at the loss of the body heat and Gibbs quickly hopped off the bed and went quickly down the hall to the bathroom where he grabbed a washcloth out of the closet and wet it with warm water. He took it back to the bedroom while it was still warm.

Tony groaned again and Gibbs put a steadying hand on Tony’s shoulder to keep him from rolling over. He gently eased Tony out of his t-shirt and wiped Tony clean before cleaning himself off. Then he crawled back into bed, and gently eased Tony into his arms. Tony immediately snuggled around him, tucked his head into the crook of Jethro’s neck and was quickly sleeping soundly again. Gibbs shook his head at Tony and smiled. Pulling the covers up over them, Gibbs quickly joined his lover in sleep.

xxx

Gibbs was pleased. In the days following their trip to the movies and the subsequent near run in with Declan, Tony slowly became increasingly independent. Under Gibbs’ constant care and love Tony was beginning to gain some weight, and was becoming more able to assist with his own care than he’d been when he first came home from the hospital. Ducky came by a couple of times to check on Tony, each time clucking with approval of the progress Tony was making.

By the weekend, Tony thought he was feeling up to seeing the team. He and Gibbs discussed it at length and decided that on Saturday night it would be good to have Abby, McGee, Ducky, Kate and Palmer over. They would grill out and have an early dinner--guaranteeing that Tony could be safely locked in the house by dark. He was still nervous about nights and darkness.

Saturday morning Tony woke to the smell of coffee brewing and bacon frying. He took a deep breath and smiled, loving how domestic they’d become. Laying in bed, troubling thoughts began to drift through his mind. Was Gibbs trying to catch Declan? What would happen once they caught Declan? What would happen once all this was over? Would Tony have to go back home? Would Gibbs want him to leave? Did Tony want to leave? He’d never truly been on his own before…did he dare try it? Could he do it? Clearing his throat, Tony called for Gibbs. Despite his newfound independence, Tony still required help getting up and down.

A moment later a freshly showered Gibbs appeared in the doorway, coffee mug in hand and a smile on his face. “Thought you were going to sleep through the cookout,� he said with a smirk. “How you feelin?�

“Need the head,� Tony replied.

Gibbs immediately moved to help Tony out of the bed. Tony was moving a bit more stiffly than he’d been moving and Gibbs knew it was from all the hard work Tony had been doing to be so independent, as well as…other activities.

“Oughta take it easy today Tony,� Gibbs said when he heard the near silent moan of pain from the younger man as he was moved. “Been workin hard…next week’s your big appointment with the surgeon--he might put you in physical therapy or something then. Let me take the bulk of you moving around for the next few days alright? Just take it easy. You don’t have to be running marathons by Wednesday.�

Tony nodded and let Gibbs have a little more of his weight. If there was one lesson he’d been taught by all of this, it was to lean on others, namely Gibbs.

“Time is it?�

“After eleven. Those painkillers help you sleep for a long time,� Gibbs commented.

“Feel like a zombie after I take ‘em though,� Tony grumbled. “If I don’t shoot my mouth off in some insane rant, then I’m acting like a complete idiot.�

“It’s alright,� Gibbs murmured in his ear. “You’re my idiot.� He laughed when Tony swatted at him with his good hand. “C’mon,� Gibbs said, “the team will be here around two.�

After he was showered, dressed, and fed, Gibbs moved Tony outside to the double chaise lounge to enjoy some early afternoon sun while he prepared the grill. Tony was doing much better these last few days, hadn’t had any more panic attacks, but he still preferred to stay close to Gibbs. Gibbs shot him a small smile and a wink, raising his beer in a silent toast to his lover. Tony smiled and raised his own beer before taking a healthy slug off of it.

“Doin’ ok?�

Tony swallowed his beer and nodded. He had talked to Ducky and Gibbs and told them he wanted to go off the heavy painkillers during the day, and they agreed. Tony had been doing everything the doctor had instructed without any argument or protests. Gibbs and Ducky were both shocked by it. Tony was known for not following doctors’ orders.

A sound from the front of the house caused Tony to immediately tense up, quickly trying to hide the terror on his face at the unexpected noise. Gibbs moved to Tony’s side and put a hand on his shoulder. “Easy,� Gibbs soothed softly. “Probably just someone from the team. Want me to go see?�

Tony shook his head, his face paling slightly. “No,� he whispered. “Stay here. Please,� Tony pleaded, trying not to sound desperate.

Gibbs ran his hand over Tony’s hair and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his head. “Hey. You’re safe here. It’s just our friends. You’re gonna be fine, just relax.�

Gibbs stayed close to Tony until he nodded, fighting for control. A moment later Gibbs’ back door opened and Kate and Abby stepped out on the patio.

“TONY!!!� Abby squealed, running for the chaise lounge. It had been almost a month since she’d seen her friend and she was so excited when Gibbs called to invite her to the cookout. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw Tony recoiling from her overeager approach.

“Tony?� She said much softer, slowing down at the end of the chaise lounge. “You okay?�

“Hey Abs…sorry ‘bout that…I’m fine,� Tony said softly.

Kate stepped up next to Abby. “How you doing Tony? Heard you had surgery--you doing okay?�

Before he could answer the backdoor slammed again and Tony immediately tensed back up and backed away. He could feel that familiar tightening feeling in his chest and felt his breathing hitch just slightly. Abby stepped closer, a hand reaching out to offer help, but he shrunk back, eyes slamming shut and shaking his head in a silent plea to not touch him.

“HEY!� Gibbs’ voice rang out and the others all froze. “Why don’t you guys make yourselves useful and get inside to help get everything ready?�

The group quickly scrambled to be helpful, including Ducky, Palmer and McGee who had arrived only moments before. Once everyone had scattered, Gibbs turned to Tony. “If it gets to be too much just say so. Or give me a signal--something I won’t miss okay? I’ve got your six,� he said quietly.

Tony nodded nervously and took a sip of his beer. Gibbs patted his good shoulder and stepped back to the grill, giving Tony some space.

“Thanks Jethro,� Tony said softly.

Ducky stepped out onto the patio and shut the door quietly behind him. “Jethro I think it would be wise if you go speak with the others. I’ll stay with Anthony.�

Gibbs glanced at Tony. “How much do you want me to tell them?�

“As little as you have to,� Tony said softly.

“They’re your friends Anthony,� Ducky admonished gently. “They only want to help you.�

“Tell them as little as you have to,� Tony said again, a little firmer. Gibbs nodded and stepped inside.

Ducky sat down on a nearby deck chair and began softly regaling Tony with a story from his past. Tony tried to listen, but he heard something in the bushes…something that got his attention. He looked out over the yard…something was off…something was wrong…Tony felt like someone was watching him. He glanced around but didn’t see anything.

Ducky walked to the table where he poured a glass of lemonade. He handed it to Tony, whose hand shook just slightly when he accepted it, and took away the beer bottle. “You look a bit nervous Anthony. Are you alright?�

“Y-yeah Duck,� Tony said softly. “I’m fine.� He sipped his drink nervously. He couldn’t stop looking around…there was something out there that they were missing and Tony didn’t want to think about what or who it could be.

xxx

“We need to talk,� Gibbs said without preamble when he walked into the house. “Living room,� he said without looking back or slowing down. The others scrambled after him.

Once everyone was seated, Gibbs looked around. “I know you’re all curious about what’s going on with Tony.�

“What happened to him Gibbs? He’s never backed away like that before,� Abby wailed, her face a mask of despair and concern. Tim reached out a nervous hand and patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

“Seriously Boss,� Kate said, “Tony always whines about a paper-cut but this…he’s never acted this way before. It’s almost like he’s scared of us.�

“Tony was attacked,� Gibbs stated, sitting down on the coffee table, “while we were on vacation. He called me to come help, but asked that no one else be told. Ducky knew because he was with me when I got the call. Tony spent nearly a week in the hospital. He’s had surgery on his ankle, we find out this week if he needs surgery on his knee, and he’s got multiple broken bones.�

Gibbs looked carefully at each member of the team. “But the worst damage was emotional. Tony has been completely traumatized. It’s important that you realize that today isn’t about you all--it’s about helping Tony recover. He needs to know you’re still his friends, but he also needs you to respect his need for privacy and space. If he recoils from you, back up. If he snaps at you, don’t take it personally. Don’t pressure him to talk about what happened. If he feels comfortable he’ll tell you.�

“Why doesn’t he want us to know?� Abby’s voice was softer now, tinged with hurt. “We’re his friends…�

“Because he’s embarrassed. He thinks you all will view him as weak if you know what all happened to him.�

“What all did happen to him, Gibbs?� Palmer spoke up, glancing around at the others, wondering if he’d overstepped his bounds. As the newest member of the team, he was still trying to figure out and understand his role within the group.

To Palmer’s surprise and relief, Gibbs didn’t get mad. Instead he looked…sad? “The worst possible things you could imagine,� Gibbs replied softly, looking at each person in the room. “Tony almost didn’t survive. If he hadn’t managed to get away and call me to come get him he would not have survived.�

“Where was he when he got attacked, Boss? We could go search the scene--see if we can figure out who did this?� Gibbs looked at his Probie. The kid would prove to be a good agent one day, Gibbs was sure of it.

“He was at home when he was attacked and he was attacked by someone he cares about. We don’t need to do an investigation to find out who it was,� Gibbs said softly. “Tony and I know who did it and why.�

“So who did it and why?� Abby spoke up again, her fingers twisting together nervously.

Gibbs shook his head. “Not important right now. The important thing today is Tony. Remember what I told you. Give him some space, but try to cheer him up. Distract him from everything that’s happened. He needs you here as his friends today, not as investigators. Leave your questions at the door. We clear?�

Everyone nodded. “Clear Boss,� came several whispered replies.

“Alright,� Gibbs said softly, “help me get the food ready and let’s get this party started.�

xxx

Ducky was trying to distract Tony from being nervous when Gibbs returned outside.

“Tony?� Gibbs immediately noticed how pale Tony was and moved to his lover’s side. “You alright babe,� he asked softly.

Tony shook his head and looked nervously around the yard. “Something’s out there,� he murmured. “He’s out there…he’s going to find me…�

Gibbs cupped Tony’s face in his hands and moved between Tony and his view of the yard. “No one is going to hurt you here. Declan doesn’t know you’re here. You’re safe here, alright?�

Tony blinked, ashamed when tears filled his eyes. God he was so emotional these days it was just terrible. “Okay,� he whispered.

Gibbs tapped him twice under the chin, drawing a small smile from the younger man. “Do you want to go back inside?�

Tony looked around. Everything was set up to eat outside. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and it was warm on Tony’s pale skin. He didn’t want to go inside--he wanted to do whatever he pleased, dammit, without being afraid.

“I want to stay outside,� Tony said softly, “I just can’t shake the feeling that someone’s watching me.�

Gibbs narrowed his eyes slightly. Tony had good instincts--Gibbs trusted Tony’s gut almost as much as he trusted his own. “Where,� he said shortly, standing up and looking around.

Tony indicated the bushes on the edge of Gibbs’ unfenced lot. Narrowing his eyes, Gibbs moved quietly to the bushes. He looked carefully but didn’t see anything. A moment later the neighbor’s dog leapt out of the bushes startling the three men in the backyard.

“Ah there you see Anthony, it’s merely the neighbor’s Yorkshire Terrier,� Ducky said, letting out a relieved breath and chuckling softly. “Nothing to worry about.�

Gibbs puffed out a laugh in relief as well, and looked at Tony. The younger man looked like he wanted to sit down and cry. Gibbs moved back to Tony’s side. “I looked Tony. There’s no one out there. Just that damn yappy dog. You’re safe alright?�

“Thank you for believing me,� Tony said softly. “You checked even though you didn’t think there was anything out there. Thank you,� he said gratefully.

“I want you to feel secure here. I’ll look under beds and in closets and bushes--whatever it takes to make you feel safe alright? You’re safe here and we’re gonna keep it that way.�

Tony nodded and realized his hands were shaking and the whole team had joined them on the patio in time to see his little meltdown.

“That smells great,� Palmer said pointing at the grill. “I am starved.�

Moving back to the grill, Gibbs whispered his thanks to the younger man. He knew that no matter what, Palmer had Tony’s six. The others gathered round, and began recounting events of things going on in the office--gossip about who was dating, who was in trouble, and what the latest rumors around the office were.

“I heard that some new person down in dispatch got written up for giving out personal information on the agents over the phone,� Abby said, slurping on her drink noisily.

Tony’s gut immediately tied into a knot and he shared a surreptitious glance with Gibbs. “Did they say which Agents had information shared on them?�

“Nah, but then I heard that rumor wasn’t even true, so who knows,� Abby said.

“Tony have you watched any good movies lately,� Kate asked. “I mean since you’ve been kinda laid up I figure you’ve had some time to catch up on some movies.�

Tony smiled and Gibbs smirked as he stood at the grill. “Saw some Bogart movies the other night,� Tony said, his eyes lighting up a bit with the memory of their trip down to Stephens City. “That was fun. Gibbs actually watched the movies with me.�

“Wow Gibbs I didn’t think you’d abandon your boat to watch a movie--especially an old movie--and especially with Tony,� Abby snarked. She meant the comment to be teasing towards Gibbs and totally missed the look of hurt that flashed across Tony’s face. Gibbs saw it and narrowed his eyes.

“I don’t mind movies, Bogart, or DiNozzo’s company,� Gibbs snapped at her. Seeing her wilt a bit under his gaze and clipped words, he turned back to the grill, shooting Tony a wink that no one else could see.

xxx

After eating the huge meal that everyone had helped prepare, McGee pulled out a huge tub of ice cream that he’d picked up. “I even got chocolate sauce, Tony. I know you always talk about how much you love chocolate sauce.�

The ice cream bowl slid out of Tony's boneless fingers and the glass bowl crashed to the ground quickly drawing everyone’s attention. For a moment everyone looked at questioningly at each other trying to figure out what had just happened. Gibbs was the first one to recover and moved to Tony’s side.

Tony didn’t make a sound, but flinched back and shook his head, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, staring at something no one else could see with a look of complete fear marring his features.

“Party’s over,� Gibbs said quietly to the others who looked at each other for a moment before springing into action. “Don’t worry about cleaning up I’ll take care of it later.�

Ducky moved to Gibb’s side. “Would you like me to stay for a few minutes longer Jethro?�

Gibbs ran a hand over his face and nodded. “Yeah, yeah I dunno what the hell just happened here, but…ah Christ Ducky,� Gibbs said softly.

Tony suddenly began to heave and Gibbs knew what would come next. “Trash can--now!�

Ducky managed to get the salad bowl under Tony’s face just in time to catch as Tony began to vomit violently.

“Easy now dear boy, you’re going to strain your ribs just relax,� Ducky guided him carefully as Gibbs brought over the larger trash can. Ducky dumped the bowl’s contents into the trash as Tony began to heave again. Gibbs ran his hand lightly over Tony’s shoulder blades, frowning when Tony flinched away and heaved harder.

“I’m not going to hurt you Tony. It’s Jethro, you’re safe. You’re at my house. Try to relax,� Gibbs said running his fingers through the back of Tony’s hair.

“I’ll just go get him a damp washcloth Jethro,� Ducky said and moved inside. He was surprised when he saw the rest of Jethro’s team--minus Palmer--standing in the kitchen observing the events on the porch.

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,� Ducky admonished angrily. “Jethro asked you to leave because Anthony requires privacy and here you are--his friends--staring at him when he is at his most vulnerable. You should be ashamed.�

“We’re sorry Ducky,� Abby said, “but we wanted to see what made Tony so upset--everything was going great then all of a sudden he--�

“Anthony is going through quite possibly the most difficult time in his life right now. You--his friends--are supposed to be supportive! THIS--this is the last thing he needs right now. Get out--all of you just go home and leave him alone. And I had better not hear one remark made about the events you have just witnessed. Do I make myself clear?� Ducky couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so angry.

A chorus of “Yes Ducky� and “Sorry Ducky� emerged from the group as they made their way to the front door of their boss’ house.

“Jethro invited you here to help Anthony,� Ducky continued his tirade, following the others to the door to make sure they actually left this time. “You aren’t helping him this way. You have to earn his trust--Anthony is barely able to trust anyone right now. If you value your relationships with him it would do you well to respect the boundaries he has established. Now go home like Jethro told you to, all of you.�

Ducky was mightily impressed that Jimmy had chosen not to partake in the team’s snooping. After slamming the front door closed the ME stepped to the bathroom Tony was using during his stay to get a washcloth when he heard a sound coming from the bedroom. Tony’s near constant fear and panic kept everyone around him on high alert these days so Ducky stepped silently toward the bedroom. What he saw caused him to pause and smile.

Jimmy was in Tony’s room carefully changing the sheets on the bed and fixing it so it would be ready for his friend whenever he returned. Ducky softly cleared his throat and Jimmy looked up, startled.

“D-Dr. Mallard…I know that Gibbs told everyone to leave, b-but I thought it might be nice for Tony to have…� Jimmy’s voice trailed off as he gestured helplessly at the bed. “I was trying to be helpful,� he finally said in a small voice. “I heard you fussing at the others. I tried to tell them not to eavesdrop--Gibbs always catches them, but…but they wouldn’t listen to me.�

“You’re a good lad, Mr. Palmer,� Ducky said with a gentle smile, resting his hands on Palmer’s shoulders. “However right now Anthony is feeling very poorly, and I think he may desire some privacy.�

“Of course Doctor, I’ll just…go now,� Jimmy said awkwardly, quickly smoothing out the bed one last time and quietly leaving.

xxx

Gibbs moved the trash can away and squatted down in front of Tony once he’d stopped throwing up. “Hey,� he said softly, running his fingers across Tony’s temples lightly and through his hair. Tony shivered lightly at the gentle touch and Gibbs’ eyes narrowed slightly. “You cold Tony?�

Tony didn’t answer. Gibbs could tell by the look in Tony’s eyes that he was still lost in whatever nightmare he’d drifted away to. Ducky appeared by his side and together they carefully cleaned Tony off, concern on both of their faces when Tony didn’t react or respond to the cool dampness of the cloth.
Gibbs moved to carefully sit next to Tony on the double chaise lounge, reclining a bit and pulling Tony down with him to rest his head against Gibbs’ chest. He nodded at Ducky who sat down in the deck chair he’d been using for most of the afternoon.

After a bit Gibbs felt Tony stir and the younger man let out a soft sigh. “You with me?� Gibbs kept his voice soft; he wanted to gently coax Tony back to awareness, he didn’t want to scare him anymore. He’d obviously had enough of that.

Tony nodded his head slowly, but didn’t lift his face to look at the two men in his company.

“Were you remembering something?�

Tony nodded, his head moving jerkily, nervously. Yes, definitely remembering something.

“You wanna talk about it?�

This time Tony’s head moved in the other direction. No, he didn’t want to talk about it--not at all.

“I think it’d help you feel better if you got it off your chest. We can face it together if you tell me,� Gibbs suggested softly.

Ducky was in awe. He’d known for a long time that Gibbs had feelings for Tony and vice versa, but to see the steps they’d taken together in the last few days--to see the progress that had been made in their relationship--was truly a wonderful thing, and a great relief to the old doctor.

Tony shifted a bit on Gibbs’ chest and Gibbs ran a slow hand up and down Tony’s spine.

“What made you sick Tony? Can you tell me that much? I want to make sure not to bring it around again,� Gibbs said softly.

Tony whimpered when the memory hit again and buried his face in Gibbs’ shoulder. Gibbs frowned at Ducky. Whatever it was that was stuck in Tony’s head was really upsetting him badly this time. Gibbs held Tony tighter.

“It’s alright Tones,� Gibbs murmured in his ear. “I’m right here. You’re safe. Tell me what it was that triggered the memory. You don’t have to tell me the memory if you don’t want to, but tell me what triggered it please.�

Tony blinked. Gibbs never said please. He swallowed hard and slowly eased himself up and looked around. Everyone was gone except Gibbs and Ducky. Tony let out a slow sigh.

“You’ll laugh,� he mumbled, eyes on his lap.

Gibbs tapped him on the back of the head with only a fraction of the force he typically used. “I won’t laugh,� Gibbs whispered firmly in Tony’s ear. “I won’t ever mock you. You can’t help this Tones, you can’t. It’s not your fault.�

Tony looked up at Gibbs who nodded gently and then over to Ducky who leaned forward slightly in his chair. “You can tell us Anthony. You’re safe with us.�

“It was,� Tony’s breath caught in his throat. He’d never told anyone about this. “It was…� his eyes dropped back to his lap and he laughed humorlessly and shook his head, feeling foolish for being so upset. “The chocolate sauce,� he whispered, running his hands over his face. “I freaked out over some fucking chocolate sauce.�

TBC…

Chapter 14: Breaking In

Gibbs stood up from the lounge and crossed the patio to the table. He picked up the offending jar of chocolate sauce and promptly threw the entire container into the trashcan. Then he dumped some other things in on top of it so that the chocolate was completely buried.

Returning to Tony’s side, Gibbs wrapped an arm gently around Tony’s shoulder. “Was it Declan?� Gibbs’ voice was soft and undemanding and it helped put Tony immediately at ease.

With his eyes on his lap he nodded silently. “Yes,� he finally whispered. “Yes it was Declan.�

Gibbs rubbed Tony’s shoulder gently and pulled him slightly closer. “Can you tell me about it?�

Tony looked at Gibbs with fear in his eyes. “You promise you won’t laugh at me,� he asked. The vulnerable tone in his lover’s voice was going to be Gibbs’ undoing, he was sure of it.

“I swear to you I won’t.�

Tony nodded and closed his eyes as he remembered that awful night again and began to speak softly…

Flashback

Tony was naked on the bed he shared with Declan and his partner had tied him to the bed with heavy leather cuffs that he’d strapped on too tight. Tony wasn’t into bondage and Declan knew that, so he made sure to tie Tony down while he was asleep. Now he was awake though and pulling desperately on his restraints. He didn’t vocalize any sound though--Declan had threatened to cut him with his own knife if he made a sound.

Declan entered the bedroom and smiled.

“Hello my sweet Tony,� he said silkily and Tony fought down a shudder.

Declan strode over to the bed and looked hungrily down at Tony. “I brought us a snack,� he said with an evil glint in his eye. “Well. I brought me a snack. You don’t get to eat any of it,� he said leaning down and giving Tony’s earlobe a painful bite. Tony bit his lip to keep from groaning in pain.

“Such a good boy,� Declan said matter-of-factly. “I think that deserves a treat. I think that deserves your favorite treat--hot chocolate sauce!�

Declan held up the jar of steaming chocolate sauce and began pouring it over the thin skin of Tony’s biceps, trickling it down across his chest and over the sensitive skin of his stomach and groin, then over his upper thighs and hips. The chocolate burned and adhered to his skin and Tony bit his lip harder--tasting blood in his mouth now--and squeezed his eyes shut against the constant onslaught of burning torture on his skin.

When he felt the nearly boiling chocolate moving constantly closer to his very sensitive genitals, tears began to spill helplessly from his eyes as he silently prayed for someone to get him out of this horrible situation--someone to please save him…

Declan emptied the jar and set it on the bedside table. Tony could feel his skin beginning to pull in the familiar pain of being burned. This…this would leave scars.

Declan began sucking the chocolate off of him, soothing him with softly spoken insults as he continued to torture Tony’s damaged skin. When he reached Tony’s penis Declan slid Tony’s entire length in his mouth, sucking so hard it was painful and then sliding his head back up, making sure to drag his teeth painfully towards Tony’s tip.

Tony squeezed his eyes shut tighter. He couldn’t make a sound. Declan would hurt him worse if he made any noise. He couldn’t let Declan win. He had to stay quiet…had…to…stay…quiet…

End flashback

Tony didn’t dare look at anyone while he told his sad tale. Once he was done, he let out a shaky breath. Gibbs’ arm was still around his shoulders, and his thumb was rubbing up and down very slowly in a very soothing rhythm on his upper arm. Tony suddenly felt exhausted, like a thrice wrung rag and leaned forward a little heavier, supporting his own weight a little more.

Gibbs must have thought he was about to topple off the lounge, because his other arm suddenly wrapped around Tony’s front and steadied him. “Woah Tony, easy. ‘Sok.�

Gibbs’ tone of voice hadn’t changed, his touch hadn’t changed, and it made Tony think that maybe, just maybe, everything was okay--just as Gibbs had told him it would be. It was that thought that encouraged Tony to slowly glance up from the focal point on his lap. He eyed Gibbs’ warily, and he was too tired to keep the defeat out of his eyes.

“I’ve seen the scars,� Gibbs said softly. Tony’s gaze sharpened and he started to pull away, but Gibbs held him gently, keeping him from moving. “I saw them in the hospital while they were working on you. It’s not your fault Tony. It’s not your fault, babe.� Gibbs pulled Tony close and kissed him on the forehead.

“I didn’t want him to do it,� Tony whispered. He could feel Gibbs’ chin on the top of his head and the side of his face was tucked in close to Gibbs’ neck. He could smell the other man and feel his pulse just beneath the surface. Gibbs’ arms tightened around him carefully.

“I know you didn’t Tony. Thank you for telling us. Thank you for trusting us.�

It seemed those words reminded Tony that Ducky was still there. Keeping his eyes on Tony, Ducky slowly stood and made his way over to the lounge. Sitting down on the other side of Tony, Ducky met Gibbs’ gaze over the younger man’s head.

“My dear boy you look absolutely exhausted,� Ducky admonished softly.

Tony trembled slightly. “I don’t think I can sleep,� he murmured, eyes fixed on the garbage can and shaking his head slightly. “I can’t get that night out of my head. I just don’t want to think anymore,� he whimpered and his gaze dropped to his lap.

“Why don’t we go back inside,� Gibbs suggested. “It’s cooling off out here and that isn’t going to help you feel any better. All it’s going to do is make you tighten up and shiver, and that’s going to make you hurt more. C’mon babe, let’s go inside and we can watch a movie if you want to. We don’t have to go to bed yet.�

Tony nodded and together the three men made their way slowly inside. Gibbs praised Palmer when he learned of the clean sheets on Tony’s bed. With Tony sitting comfortably on the couch, Gibbs retreated to the kitchen to get him some juice and talk to Ducky.

“That poor lad,� Ducky said quietly, his face sad.

Gibbs nodded. “We can’t show him our sympathy Ducky. He’ll turtle on us quicker than anything if we do that. Though I have to say, it’s going to be hard for me not to kill this bastard if I ever get the chance to come face to face with him.�

“Sometimes the bastard needs killing,� Ducky said wisely. “In the meantime, we need to do something to help Anthony get some rest. I don’t think he’ll let me give him a shot.�

“Might surprise you Duck. Better to ask him first,� Gibbs said. “If he refuses, then I’ll let you think of something else.�

Gibbs picked up the glass of apple juice and took it into the living room, along with his own cup of coffee.

“Here Tones,� he said softly and passed the tall glass to Tony and sitting down on the couch beside him.

“You didn’t drug it, did you Ducky?� Tony chuckled softly, but his smile never reached his eyes.

“No dear boy. No drugs there. I could not give you something to make you sleep without your consent in light of the situation you have just come out of. However I would like to offer you a mild sedative to help you get some rest. I do think it would be beneficial and I also think that it would help keep any recurring nightmares or memories at bay.�

Tony took a sip of juice and thought about it. “I don’t like being all doped up, or the way I feel the day after,� he said softly. “Always feel like everything is going in slow motion and I’m a half step behind everyone else. Takes me forever to fall asleep too.�

Ducky nodded. “I understand that. However this particular medication that I have in mind is quite different. It enhances your natural sleep cycle to help you rest more comfortably, but in your body’s natural rhythm. You shouldn’t feel the residual hangover tomorrow.�

Tony thought about it for another long moment before he looked to Gibbs. “Jethro…if I let him…will you…� Tony wasn’t able to finish the question.

Gibbs wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders again and pulled him close. “I won’t leave you,� he promised softly, and kissed the side of Tony’s head.

Tony looked at Ducky. “Do it,� he whispered. “Please I…I need to sleep and…� he dropped his gaze to his lap, “I don’t think I can without that,� he said, his voice cracking on the last words.

Ducky carefully prepared the syringe with the medication in it. He was acutely aware of how dire the situation must be in order for Tony to ask for something to help him sleep. Ducky explained each step in the preparation process, and left no question of Tony’s unanswered. Finally Ducky held up the syringe and stepped towards the two men on the couch.

“Now my dear boy,� Ducky said gently. “This medication works best if it is injected into the hip. However, if you are not comfortable with that, we can also inject it into your stomach or your arm. I would recommend the stomach. Your arm will be in considerable pain tomorrow if we choose that route.

Tony looked at Gibbs who smiled encouragingly at him. Whatever Tony decided here would be acceptable and it made Tony feel marginally better to realize that. “Will you do my stomach,� Tony asked softly. “I just…it’s not that I don’t trust…Ducky I’m sorry I…�

“Shhhh I think it’s a wise decision. Now, if you’ll just raise your shirt for me a bit.� Ducky noticed with great clarity the scars on his young friend’s pale skin. He’d seen the scars on several other occasions, but hadn’t ever questioned them, feeling that it would be out of place.

“Sorry Ducky,� Tony mumbled. “I know it’s ugly.�

“Nonsense,� Ducky retorted and Tony felt Gibbs tighten his embrace on his shoulders. “They are merely battle scars Anthony. You will be like one of the great Imperial Soldiers who went marching into battle and emerged victorious. You are already victorious,� Ducky added, “because you have chosen to walk away. It takes strength to do that dear boy.�

Ducky smiled as Tony nodded slowly. “Thanks Ducky,� Tony said. He closed his eyes as he saw the needle approaching. Turning his head, he buried his face into the side of Jethro’s neck, while Gibbs maintained his careful embrace around Tony’s shoulders, stroking it lightly and running his nose and lips over the top of Tony’s hair.

The injection stung, but only for a moment and Tony hissed softly. “There, there, now that wasn’t so bad was it?�

Tony blinked up at Ducky, his vision already blurring. “S’good…stuffff…� he mumbled as his heavy eyelids dropped shut and he leaned heavily against Gibbs, his entire body limp.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at Ducky who smiled sheepishly. “I may have exaggerated on the mildness of the sedative,� he said reasonably. “However there should not be any hangover for him tomorrow.�

Gibbs nodded and smiled sadly at Tony, hoping beyond hope that his lover’s sleep would be peaceful.

xxx

“Anthony DiNozzo!� The nurse didn’t look up as she called the name, focusing all of her attention on the chart in her hand.

Gibbs unlocked the wheels on Tony’s chair and pushed him carefully through the waiting room. He knew his lover was nervous about this appointment, and wanted to do whatever possible to ease those feelings of anxiety.

The nurse led the way to one of the patient rooms. “Dr. Corkran will be in shortly,� she said and closed the door behind her on her way out.

Tony opted to stay in his chair because he didn’t know if the doctor would want to do more x-rays or an MRI on his knee. He looked at Gibbs who was sitting in the chair, waiting patiently, and sighed. Gibbs smiled reassuringly at him.

“Jethro…�

Gibbs looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You ok?�

“Just…� Tony shrugged helplessly.

“Hey,� Gibbs said, moving over to kneel in front of Tony’s chair. “It’s going to be fine. We’ll figure it all out, you’ll see.�

“K…� Tony whispered. His eyes shot up when someone knocked sharply on the door.

Gibbs nodded encouragingly and moved back to his seat. “Come in,� Tony said softly.

The door opened and Dr. Corkran poked his head in. “Good afternoon gentlemen,� the doctor said with a smile.

Both men greeted Dr. Corkran before he began to examine Tony’s knee and ankle. “This ankle is healing up very nicely. You’ve been staying off of it haven’t you?�

Tony stared at the doctor’s hands on his leg and nodded. His ankle looked terrible, huge healing scar, massive bruising. “I walked out of the apartment on it,� Tony said softly.

Gibbs squeezed Tony’s shoulder gently. “You had an amazing will to survive that day, Tony,� he said softly. They hadn’t really spoken about the events of that day before now. Gibbs was honestly surprised to discover that Tony had any recollection of that day at all.

“Sometimes in the face of great adversity we find the inner strength to do amazing things,� the doctor said with a kind smile. “It appears to be healing well. I’d like to take some more x-rays of your ankle, and I want to look carefully at that knee to see what we need to do about it.�

“Doctor if I need surgery on my knee how soon would you want to do it?�

“Well we could do it as soon as there is a slot available at the hospital. Unless you’d rather wait? Why don’t we go and do some scans, and then we’ll talk about it. You may not even need surgery.�

Tony nodded and glanced nervously at Gibbs. The older man smiled slightly and nodded his head once. I’ve got your six. We’ll handle whatever we need to handle together.

xxx

The following Monday morning, Gibbs paced the waiting room anxiously. He knew that arthroscopic knee surgery was routine, knew that it was a quick surgery, but it didn’t stop him from being concerned. Dr. Corkran said the knee surgery would only take about an hour, maybe a little more, and then he could get in to see Tony once he was in recovery.

It had been exactly 53 minutes since the operation began, and Gibbs was about to wear a trench in the floor. His cell phone suddenly vibrated and Gibbs snatched it off his belt and answered it without even looking at it.

“Yeah, Gibbs.�

“Good morning Jethro. I was calling to inquire about Anthony’s condition?� Duckys’ voice lilted softly through the phone and Jethro breathed a sigh in relief. Ducky had his six.

“He’s still in surgery,� Gibbs said softly and dropped into one of the chairs, suddenly exhausted. “Can you explain what the next few days are going to look like?�

“Jethro did Dr. Corkran not go over all of this with you?�

“He did, but I need it in English.�

“Anthony will be in recovery for likely two or three hours once the surgery is finished. I am assuming they will let you back with him during that time, but do not make a nuisance of yourself if they ask you to stay in the waiting room. He will be released this afternoon and you can bring him home. Anthony will be on prescription painkillers, and will require his knee to be iced for about twenty minutes every hour.�

“Ok,� Gibbs said, “That sounds easy enough. Side effects?�

“Anthony won’t be able to put any weight on his knee for a few days, but that shouldn’t be an issue with the poor lad still in the wheelchair with his broken ankle and collarbone. The important thing will be for you to keep him entertained. No strenuous activities Jethro, if you take my meaning.�

Gibbs sighed. “Got it Ducky,� he muttered.

xxx

Gibbs followed the nurse down the hall. Tony had come out of surgery about 45 minutes earlier and was beginning to show signs of waking up. Knowing that Tony wanted Gibbs with him as soon as possible, Dr. Corkran sent the nurse to fetch Gibbs from the waiting room.

“He’s in bed four,� the nurse said softly. “I’ll be at the desk, call if you need anything.�

Gibbs nodded and walked over to the curtain surrounding bed four. He pulled it back quietly and slipped inside the makeshift cubicle. Tony was still asleep, but his brow was already furrowed in pain. Gibbs took Tony’s good hand carefully in his own and ran his fingers through Tony’s hair.

“Hey Sleepyhead,� Gibbs said softly. “C’mon it’s time to wake up.�

Tony groaned and his eyelids fluttered slightly. He slowly blinked them open and stared at Gibbs for only a second before his eyes widened and his whole body lurched suddenly. Gibbs quickly lifted Tony’s head and shoulders and held a small basin under Tony’s chin as he retched into it. The nurse pulled back the curtain, took one look at the two of them, and then disappeared. She came back a moment later with a larger basin and a wet washcloth.

Tony leaned his head back to rest in the crook of Jethro’s elbow once he finished throwing up and the nurse moved in closer. “Okkk,� she murmured softly as she wiped Tony’s face.

Tony blinked his eyes open again and then they rolled back in his head sluggishly. “Sok Tones,� Gibbs said softly. “Sok, just relax.�

Tony coughed slightly and turned his head, burying it against Jethro’s chest. “Easy,� Gibbs said, “Just relax.�

“Mmmmh…f’ck,� Tony groaned softly.

“Is this normal,� Gibbs asked softly. He’d seen Tony come out of anesthesia before, but not like this.

The nurse nodded. “Sometimes the anesthesia can cause nausea and vomiting. If he doesn’t stop in an hour or two I’ll let the anesthesiologist know, but this is very normal. I’ll go get him something to sip on. Maybe that’ll help settle his stomach.�

Gibbs thanked her and eased Tony back down. Tony stared up at him for a moment, still trying to catch his breath from the painful vomiting and a sluggish hand rose and landed on his stomach.

“Your stomach hurting?� Gibbs kept his voice soft, he knew coming out of anesthesia makes you feel like shit. To his surprise, Tony shook his head. No.

“My gut…s’m’thing…wrong?� Tony’s eyes were closed and his words were slurring badly.

Gibbs’ eyes narrowed. “Everything’s fine Tony. You came through the surgery fine, and Doc is anticipating a quick recovery.�

“T-team?� Tony tried to push himself up. “Th-they…� he swallowed down his nausea, “they ok?�

It concerned Gibbs that Tony was so anxious. “I’ll call them and make sure, but you need to relax and get some rest or they’re going to throw me out of here.�

When Tony saw that Gibbs was pulling out his phone he relaxed a bit. Gibbs called each one of them and told them to watch their sixes for anything out of the ordinary. The older man didn’t admit it to Tony because he knew it would only make things worse, but his gut was churning too.

When both of their guts churned, bad things typically happened.

xxx

It was late afternoon before Dr. Corkran released Tony and sent them home with strict orders to rest his leg and ice it regularly. Gibbs very carefully eased Tony into the front seat of the car and helped him buckle in. Tony’s movements were slow and sluggish thanks to the heavy dose of painkillers he’d been given. He didn’t even have the energy to act foolishly or say silly things.

Gibbs reclined the seat a bit for him and scooted it back to give his lover some more room to stretch his leg out.

“How’s that,� Gibbs asked softly, brushing a hand over Tony’s hair.

“S’good,� Tony mumbled, mostly asleep. “Jus…wanna go…go home…sleepy,� he whispered.

Gibbs kissed him softly. “I know. We’re going.�

Gibbs drove carefully through the traffic, well within the speed and traffic laws that he normally disregarded. Tony looked so ill, so sick in the seat beside him. Gibbs knew it was still the after effects of the anesthesia, but it had him concerned. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed Ducky.

“Good evening Jethro,� Ducky said pleasantly. “How is Anthony?�

“We’re heading home. Could you meet us at the house?�

“Certainly dear boy. Is everything alright?�

“Think so. Tony’s had a rough time with the anesthesia. I’d feel better if you looked him over.�

“Of course Jethro. I’ll be on my way then.�

“Thanks Duck,� Gibbs said and snapped the phone shut.

xxx

Gibbs’ gut churned more the closer they got to the house. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong…something wasn’t right. He glanced over at Tony who was sitting with his head canted towards Gibbs, lips slightly parted, eyes closed, dozing peacefully. Gibbs eased the car into the driveway and pulled it around to the backside of the house so they could go straight in and not fuss with the front steps on the porch.

Gibbs got out and shut the door gently. He got the wheelchair out and very carefully helped Tony into the chair, eliciting only a soft groan from the younger man. Together they went into the house and Tony sniffed strongly as soon as they entered. His eyes opened a bit wider and he looked around.

“What’s that smell,� Tony asked.

Gibbs looked at Tony and sniffed carefully. “Smells like…� he sniffed again, “cologne.�

Tony smelled again and nearly gagged. “Oh God,� Tony whispered.

“What?� Gibbs grabbed Tony’s shoulder and shook it slightly. “What is it? Tell me!�

Tony’s gaze was filled with fear as he looked up at Gibbs. “I know that smell,� he said softly. He sniffed again and he closed his eyes, swallowing hard as a shudder ran through his frame.

“Is it…�

Tony nodded and he lifted a hand to run it shakily over his face. “He’s here.�

TBC…

Chapter 15: Breaking Promises

Gibbs turned and looked at Tony whose face had taken on a somewhat gray color. “Are you sure,� he said quietly.

Tony nodded miserably. “It’s Declan. I’d know the smell of him anywhere.�

Gibbs ran a hand through his hair and put his other hand on his gun. “Okay,� he said softly. “We need to get you out of here.�

Tony shook his head. “No way in hell. This is my problem. I need to fix it. I have to confront him.�

“DiNozzo you just had surgery this morning; there’s no way you can do this today.�

Gibbs blinked in shock at the expression that closed over Tony’s face. “I need to do this,� Tony said with a cold voice. “You need to understand that. I need to prove to myself that I can do this. All this time you’ve been telling me how strong I am, how capable I am, how fucking brave I am. You can say it all you want, but I have to believe it.�

Tony ran a hand over his face before he continued. “I have to know that I have the ability to face my own demons. I have to know I can do this. You’ve taught me to believe in myself--now I need to prove to myself that I can do it.�

Gibbs didn’t like it. Not one bit. But he couldn’t argue with Tony; the man had a point. If he was going to be able to move on, he had to face the demons sometime. Pulling his back up piece from his ankle holster, Gibbs handed Tony the weapon as he pulled his primary weapon from his waist.

“Just hold the gun,� Gibbs reassured. “Do not fire it unless I tell you to; you’re not going to be a real good shot since you’re medicated.�

“I’m fine,� Tony argued with fear laced in his voice. “The smell is stronger coming from the hallway.�

Gibbs pushed the wheelchair down the hallway. Stopping in front of the bedroom door, the older man motioned for Tony to cover him. Giving the signal of counting to three, Gibbs threw the door open…

xxx

Ducky had left his house only a few minutes after Jethro called requesting he meet them at the house. It sounded like Tony had a rough time with the anesthesia; Ducky knew his patient typically did not respond well to any kind of drugs. He frowned when his phone rang again and pulled off to the side of the road.

Ducky hated people who drove and talked on the cell phones. It disturbed him quite a bit. Ducky’s own gut churned when he saw that Jethro was calling again.

“Jethro? Dear boy you have to give me time to drive to your house. I’ve barely had time to--�

“DUCK! DO NOT COME IN THE HOUSE! WHEN YOU GET HERE, DO NOT COME IN THE HOUSE!�

“Jethro? What on earth is going on? I have to come in the house to tre--�

“This house just became a crime scene! Whatever you do, don’--oh hell Tony you gotta calm down Sweetheart…gonna be alright…just hang on alright?�

“Jethro what on earth has happened?� Ducky had already pulled out in traffic once again, his own peeves be damned, his boys needed him.

“Declan O’Sullivan happened Duck. Just get here as quick as you can.�

Ducky glanced down at the phone in his hand, the words “call ended� blinking ominously up at him and he floored the gas pedal.

xxx

Tia Maloney leaned back in her chair and blew a bubble with her chewing gum. She had fifteen minutes until her break started and she was ready to go outside for some fresh air and a smoke. She glanced around at the other dispatchers working and shared an expression of exasperation with several of them. Their lines were blissfully quiet tonight; it almost seemed as though crime had taken the evening off.

A light spring rain was falling and Tia looked out the window mournfully when she realized that would change her break plans. She didn’t have her jacket with her and standing outside in the rain to smoke just seemed silly to her. She only smoked a few cigarettes a day, so she could easily put it off until she got off work or it stopped raining.

One of the phone lines suddenly came to life, blinking and ringing, and Tia sprang for her headset. “My turn!� she called to the others. It was such a slow night that they were taking turns answering calls. Tia had been working with NCIS for just over a month now. She was very proud of herself to be working for a government agency--especially an elite investigation group like NCIS.

“Thank you for calling the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. My name is Tia, how may I assist you?�

“THIS IS AGENT GIBBS! I NEED TO SPEAK TO THE DIRECTOR! IT’S AN EMERGENCY!�

Tia narrowed her eyes. It was rare for an agent to call into dispatch; in fact she hadn’t ever experienced it before. She took a deep breath.

“One moment Agent Gibbs. Please hold.� She quickly put Gibbs on hold and looked to the others. “Agent Gibbs is on the phone and wants to speak to the director. What should I do?�

Calls to the director were typically routed through his secretary. But this situation seemed different…

“If it’s Agent Gibbs you put him straight through,� Charlotte, one of the other dispatchers said. “Gibbs always goes straight through, no questions asked.�

Tia nodded, though still unsure, and clicked Gibbs back onto the line. She heard Gibbs speaking before she could speak and paused to listen.

“--Ok DiNozzo, gonna be ok. Gotta keep breathing for me; you just hang on. Keep breathing; that is an order!!!�

Tia could hear someone gasping in the background.

“Agent Gibbs? I’m going to transfer you to the director now.�

“Before you do,� Gibbs’ voice had taken on a deadly calm, “I wanna know who gave out information on me that could lead to my address being traced. Someone in dispatch had to have given out something that would allow my address to be discovered.�

Tia blinked at Gibbs’ suddenly calm and controlled words. And then she remembered…

*Flashback*

Tia Maloney had been working at NCIS for two weeks. She’d been through all of the training, all of the workshops, all of the lectures, and now she’d been turned loose in dispatch as the newest dispatcher. She sipped on her strawberry slushie and pulled up facebook on her computer. There weren’t many calls coming in tonight. She was bored.

When the phone rang she immediately snatched it up, reciting from memory the standard greeting.

“Thank you for calling the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. My name is Tia, how may I assist you?�

“Good evening. I’m trying to reach Agent Gibbs. I’m a detective from the Metro Police Department and he and I are sharing jurisdiction on a case. I have some vital information I need to pass along to him, but he isn’t answering his cell phone. I was wondering if you have his home number?�

Tia tapped on her keyboard and pulled up the employee database. She didn’t consider the fact that the officer never identified himself with a name or a badge number. He also did not identify the case he was working. Tia pulled up the information page on Agent Gibbs and read through the information looking for the phone number.

“Here you go, Detective,� Tia spoke into the phone. She rattled off Gibbs’ home phone number and asked him if she could be of anymore assistance.

“You wouldn’t happen to have his address would you? I need to run something over to him. It’s the weekend and I know he’s not working, but this is really important for the case.�

“We aren’t supposed to give out addresses. I’m sure if you use that phone number you and he can get together.�

“Thank you for all your help, Tia. Goodbye.�

“Goodbye Detective.�

*End Flashback*

“C-could someone find your address by using your home phone number?� Tia’s voice was a near-whisper. She felt her stomach clenching nervously. Maybe she’d need that cigarette after all.

“Well yeah,� Gibbs snapped. “Why, was it you?�

“Yes,� Tia whispered. “Oh God what happened? Did something happen because of--�

“DIRECTOR MORROW. NOW.�

“P-pleas-se h-hold-d A-ag-gent G-Gib-bs s-s-sirr,� Tia said, swallowing down her fear. God what had she done?

xxx

It was late in the evening for the director to still be at NCIS, but Tom had a meeting in MTAC that had taken longer than he’d expected. He was gathering his things when his phone suddenly rang. Tempted to let it go to voicemail so he could answer it tomorrow, the director stared at the phone for a long moment before a feeling in his gut told him he needed to answer it.

“Director Morrow.�

“Tom it’s Gibbs I need you to get a team to my house as soon as possible.�

“Jethro what’s happened? You sound like you’re in a complete panic. Calm down man and tell me what’s going on.�

Morrow could hear a strange sound in the background and a cold feeling filled him. “Is everyone alright,� he questioned softly.

“No I need a team--my team--at my house as quickly as you can authorize it. This bastard Tony was involved with has--�

“AGENT GIBBS.� Tom smiled when Gibbs stopped mid-rant.

“Yes?�

“Are you and Agent DiNozzo safe?�

“No sir we aren’t safe here. One of the dispatchers gave out information about me that led to DiNozzo’s location being identified and now the house is no longer safe! I need a team out here to process the crime scene and…Tony? Tony! You stay with me ok?�

There was a pause and Morrow listened as Gibbs spoke to the other man.

“--I know you’re scared. It’s going to be fine. Help’s on the way. I know it hurts but you’ve got to try and relax…shhhh…just relax…Director are you still there?�

“Still here Gibbs. Hold on a moment while I call Agent Todd and get her and McGee moving toward your house.�

Gibbs grunted his assent and Tom pressed the hold button. For a split second he stared at the phone in his hand, wondering what else could possibly go wrong. He quickly dialed Kate’s phone number.

xxx

It had been another long boring day working cold cases and Kate let out a happy sigh as she slid down into the bubbles in her bathtub. She rested her head against the towel on the side of the tub and smiled as her eyes drifted shut. What a perfect way to end a crappy Monday.

Naturally her phone chose that minute to ring.

Kate was tempted to ignore it, but she’d gotten that weird call from Gibbs earlier, telling her to watch her six and then that whole mess with Tony had her on edge…Kate opened one eye. Maybe she’d better answer it. She reached out and grabbed the phone and flipped it open.

“Kate Todd.�

“Good evening Agent Todd. I’m sorry to disturb you, but I’ve just received a phone call from Agent Gibbs and he needs you and Agent McGee to bring your gear and meet him at his house. Immediately.�

Kate sat up straight in the tub. Now her gut was churning, and she wondered if Gibbs’ concern hadn’t been misplaced earlier.

“It’s Tony isn’t it,� she said softly. “That person’s come back…the one who hurt him.�

“I’m not sure on all the details. Agent Gibbs is understandably upset and he has requested his team to back him up immediately at his home. I trust you know the address.�

“Yes Director,� Kate said, wrapping a towel around herself and pulling the stopper out of the drain. “Just let me change and I’ll be on my way. I’ll let McGee know to come as well.�

“I’ll join you there shortly. Goodbye,� the director said before hanging up.

Kate quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. She grabbed her badge, gun, cell phone and her keys. Gibbs and Tony had not been very forthcoming with information regarding Tony and the attack he’d suffered. Kate pulled out of her parking lot with a squeal of tires.

She had a feeling they were going to get more information than they wanted.

xxx

A couple of miles away from Kate, Tim McGee settled down in front of his typewriter, pipe unlit in his mouth, turtleneck and tweed jacket carefully donned. He was ready to become Thom E. Gemcity for the evening; McGee just wanted to let his brain unravel a bit after spending the day reading file after file. He let out a cleansing breath and stretched and just as he poised his fingers over the keys on the typewriter when his phone rang.

McGee dropped his chin to his chest and closed his eyes. Seriously?! He picked up his phone and looked at it.

Kate.

Why was Kate calling? They’d just discussed in the parking lot at NCIS about how they were each looking forward to a relaxing evening at home. McGee narrowed his eyes and flipped open his phone.

“McGee.�

“You need to get to Gibbs’ house as fast as you can. I’m on my way too. I just got a call from the Director.�

McGee was already on his feet and quickly changing his clothes. Tony would never let him hear the end of it if he showed up dressed like that. He’d think of some new “McNickname� to call him and he just wasn’t in the mood.

McGee’s movements faltered for a moment though, as he processed what Kate said.

“What’s happened at Gibbs’ house? Is everyone alright?�

“I don’t know! The director is coming too, said that Gibbs called in and that we needed to get over there as soon as possible.�

“Should we…well do you think we should let the others know?�

“You mean Abby, Ducky, and Palmer?�

“Yes.� McGee had his keys and badge in his hand and his gun hooked to his belt as he ran down the stairs to his car.

“I dunno McGee. I dunno what we’d tell ‘em. Let’s just wait until we get to Gibbs’ house and see what’s going on before we make any calls.�

“Good plan. Meet you there.�

McGee quickly started his car and sped out of his parking lot. He hoped that Tony was alright…he didn’t want to think about what this call might mean.

xxx

Palmer and Tony were becoming surprisingly close friends, despite the “autopsy gremlin� being so socially awkward most of the time. Tony always brought him coffee around the office, and on occasion they’d grab lunch together. Ever since Tony had been attacked and subsequently out of work, Palmer had called every couple of days to see how he was doing and to keep his buddy updated on the latest office gossip.

Tony had told him several days ago that on Monday he’d be having knee surgery. He’d expressed some concerns to his friend about what all could go wrong, or what could happen if his attacker showed back up. Palmer, out of everyone, probably knew the most about what was going on, with the exception of Gibbs, Ducky and Director Morrow. Palmer knew how afraid his friend was most of the time now, how he expected his former lover to be around every corner, ready to bait him and steal him back into the life he’d once lived--the life Tony could only describe as “slavery.�

On Monday evening as soon as Palmer finished up his class he hurried to his car. He opened his trunk and slung his backpack inside and grabbed his cell phone. He hopped in the car and headed toward his apartment. He flipped open his phone and called Tony to see how he was feeling after surgery. He spoke before Tony could when he heard the click telling him that his call had been answered.

“Hey Tony! I was calling to see how you were feeling and to offer to bring over a pizza for dinner. How ya doin man?�

“N-nooo J-J’mmy…s-staay…stay away, stay away from me,� Tony whimpered in the phone. “Oh God, oh God,� Jimmy heard Tony hyperventilating on the other end of the line and called out to him.

“Tony? Tony what’s happened? Talk to me Tony; where’s Gibbs? What’s going on? Tony is it Declan?�

A keening moan echoed in Palmer’s ear and he pressed the gas harder. “Where are you Tony? I’m coming where are you?�

“Stay awaayy,� his friend moaned in his ear. “Don’t want…don’t want you to see this…don’t want you to see me like this,� he whispered.

The line went dead.

xxx

“Just hold the gun,� Gibbs reassured. “Do not fire it unless I tell you to; you’re not going to be a real good shot since you’re medicated.�

“I’m fine,� Tony argued with fear laced in his voice. “The smell is stronger coming from the hallway.�

Gibbs pushed the wheelchair down the hallway. Stopping in front of the bedroom door, the older man motioned for Tony to cover him. Giving the signal of counting to three, Gibbs threw the door open and gasped when his eyes took in the horror before him.

Behind him, Gibbs heard the sound of the gun he’d handed Tony hitting the floor. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure that no one was there except a very dazed and terror-stricken Tony, Gibbs kicked the door open further and began clearing the room.

It seemed he’d left his mark everywhere.

The mirror on the dresser was covered with photographs. Gibbs stepped closer and gagged when he saw they were all photos of Tony--Tony sporting various bruises, burns, welts, cuts, abrasions--any mark Declan had left on Tony he’d photographed. It was clinical--as though he were collecting documentation. There were hundreds of photographs.

On the desk was a bottle of liquor, half full, used glass next to it.

It smelled like Declan had quite possibly dumped the entire bottle of cologne out in this room. Gibbs wasn’t sure how he’d ever get the stink out of the room. The empty bottle was discarded on the floor.

Gibbs immediately knew that Declan had done this on purpose. He was baiting them. Taunting them. In Gibbs’ own house; and it pissed Gibbs off.

Feeling his anger rise, Gibbs continued to look around. The wooden bedframe (selected by wife number two) had a length of chain dangling from the headboard with two wrist cuffs--meant to bind someone to the bed, and there were similar cuffs on the foot of the bed.

The bed was rumpled; it was easy to see that someone had laid there while they were gone. Gibbs knew he and Tony had left it neat and in order when they’d left early this morning. Additionally on the bed, Gibbs saw the word “M I N E� spelled out in what looked to be Tony’s pills. The white pills stood out in stark contrast against the navy blue comforter. Gibbs knew he’d have to call Dr. Corkran and explain to him what had happened--there was no way he’d trust those pills to give them to Tony now.

Tony’s clothes were scattered around on the floor. Closer inspection revealed that many of them had been slashed and all of them stank of urine. Tony’s SIG was on the floor as well, completely dismantled and surrounded by bullets. Gibbs could only count six though, and he wondered where the other two bullets had gone.

He continued to glance around the room, taking in the horror of it all. Condoms, a riding crop, and a very uncomfortable looking butt-plug were on the bedside table. A flogger was propped in one corner, and apparently Declan had gotten hold of a tag-marker because the word “W H O R E� made an insulting graffiti on every wall and surface of the room.

Gibbs gasped when he looked at the bed again. Tony’s NCIS badge was on the pillow he normally slept on--had Declan been watching them?--and Gibbs quickly saw there was a bullet hole through Tony’s face on his badge, the shot having fired down into the bed. A glance at the hole in the other pillow showed Gibbs where the last of the eight bullets in the magazine had gone. Next to Tony’s badge was a note:

Next time the hole won’t be through a picture.

Gibbs had seen enough. More than enough. He moved back to the doorway, turning his gaze fully on Tony for the first time since opening the door. Tony’s good arm was hanging loosely by his side, but his hand was clenched in a tight fist. The shock Tony was experiencing was evident on his face and his eyes were glassy.

Gibbs quickly backed Tony up, and picked up the discarded gun off the floor. Once they were in the living room, Gibbs cupped Tony’s face in his hands.

“Listen to me Tony. You with me?�

Tony nodded, his movements shaky and jerky. Gibbs sighed, “I need to check the rest of the house. You hold this gun, you shoot someone if you have to. Understand? Don’t drop it this time.�

Tony nodded again, his movements still uncoordinated. Gibbs knew the storm was coming--could see it on Tony’s face and in Tony’s eyes. The older man had known all along that this situation would come to a head--he just wished it hadn’t happened today.

He pressed a quick kiss to Tony’s lips, but his younger lover didn’t respond to Gibbs’ affection. “I’ll be right back,� he murmured before stepping away.

Three minutes later, Gibbs returned to Tony’s side. Tony was pale and visibly trembling. Gibbs knew he was in considerable pain and this added stress and terror would not help that any.

“Tony you with me?� Tony blinked and nodded slowly.

Gibbs ran his fingers through Tony’s hair. “He’s gone. He’s not here,� he said softly. “Just you and me here.�

Gibbs saw a fire in Tony’s eyes that hadn’t been there earlier. “Tony? Babe you with me? Tony?�

“How could you…� Tony growled softly. “How could you let this happen?�

“Tony we didn’t know Declan had my address. How could we have known that?�

Tony shook his head forcefully, the side to side movement made him nauseous, but he was too angry and upset to care. “You promised me,� Tony growled a bit lower at Gibbs and the fire in his gaze was enough to cause Gibbs to draw back.

“Tony I know you’re scared but you need to take it easy. I need to call Ducky and tell him not to come inside.�

“You fucking promised me that I’d be safe here. You promised me he’d never find me here. You promised me he’d never hurt me again. You lied to me! You lying bastard how could you?�

Gibbs could easily sense Tony’s growing desperation and knew he needed to regain control over the situation. And he needed to get the gun away from Tony.

“Give me the gun Tony,� he said quietly. He didn’t blink when Tony raised it at him. “C’mon Tony, think about this,� Gibbs said softly. “Don’t you see? Declan’s taunting us.�

Tony’s expression started to crumble. It was too much. Gibbs quickly grabbed the gun and pulled Tony into a tight embrace. Tony leaned against him, and his sobs were soul wrenching. Gibbs ran his fingers through Tony’s hair and pressed kisses to his forehead.

Tony clung to him like a life line and through his sobs tried to speak, “’m sorry…oh God…oh God’m sorry…pl-pleaseeee…’m so sorry,� Tony cried as he clung to Gibbs.

“It’s not your fault Sweetheart,� Gibbs said softly. Tony continued to sob as Gibbs pulled out his phone. “Shhhh I know…gonna be alright,� the older man murmured as he dialed the number.

It was only a moment later when Ducky answered the phone.

“DUCK! DO NOT COME IN THE HOUSE! WHEN YOU GET HERE, DO NOT COME IN THE HOUSE!�

TBC…

Chapter 16: Breaking Protocol

Ducky pulled into the driveway and paused. He wondered if he should heed Jethro’s advice about not coming inside. He understood the importance of maintaining the crime sceneâ€"especially this crime sceneâ€"but he also knew that Tony needed help.

Ducky pulled out his phone and dialed, waiting a moment before the answer filled his ear.

“You here yet Duck?�

“Yes Jethro I’m in your driveway. Are you and Anthony still inside?�

“No Ducky we’re next door. House on the other side of the driveway.�

“Alright Jethro. I’m coming.�

The phone clicked shut in his ear and Ducky closed his own phone. He quickly gathered his medical bag and got out. He wasn’t sure what he was walking into but he was positive that the situation was terrible.

He’d never heard that much fear in Gibbs’ voice before.

xxx

Ducky rang the bell and an instant later a tall, 50-something, salt and pepper haired man answered the door. “Are you Dr. Mallard?� His voice was soft and filled with strain.

Ducky held up his NCIS badge. “I am indeed. Is Jethro here with Anthony?�

The man nodded. “I’m Walter Fitzpatrick,� he said and offered his hand, which Ducky shook. “Please come inside.�

Walter led Ducky into the living room where the older man gasped softly when he beheld the scene there. Tony was on the couch. His leg was propped up by pillows with an ice pack on it and he was covered with a blanket. His face was ashen and his eyes were closed. A deep frown had set into his features and he appeared to be trying to tune out the world.

There was a woman standing over him, talking to him in a loud but gentle voice.

“Tony it’s Janet. I’m right here Sweetie and Jethro is here too. If you feel like you’re going to be sick again just let us know alright?�

Her voice held a distinct southern drawl and Ducky smiled. “Hello,� he said.

Janet whipped around, her eyes wide, taking in the situation and the stranger in the room. “Laws a mercy you scared me! Are you the doctor?�

Ducky nodded. Janet stepped around the couch and held her hand out.

“Name’s Janet Fitzpatrick. Retired Army nurse, worked for National Rehab for twenty-six years.�

“Donald Mallard. I work for NCIS with Jethro and Anthony.�

“Glad you’re here. Tony here had surgery this morning on his knee. He’s refusing his prescribed painkillers and I think he’s in shock after everything that happened in the house. I wanted to call an ambulance but Jethro said you were coming and you’d know what to do.�

Janet ran her fingers through her short blond hair and she stepped closer to Ducky, her face holding an expression of concern. “He’s pretty bad,� she said in a very soft voice. “I can’t get through to him.�

Before Ducky could respond Tony began heaving on the couch. Gibbs quickly propped him up while Walter grabbed the bucket off the table and shoved it under Tony’s chin. There was nothing left for him to vomit up. He dry heaved painfully for several minutes, bringing up only bile, before slumping back against Gibbs.

“’m sorry,� Tony mumbled. “I’ll clean it up. Just needa rest…justa-a minute…� his eyes drifted shut and Gibbs laid him back carefully, running a hand over his hair.

“Ducky help him,� Gibbs pleaded when the old ME approached. “He’s so sick, and he’s in shock, and I know he’s hurting…he won’t let anyone do anything though…please help him,� Gibbs’ voice trailed off in a whisper, his desperation audible.

“Let me just take a quick look,� Ducky said softly as he moved up near Tony’s face. He shook Tony’s shoulder gently. “Anthony dear boy? Can you hear me? It’s Ducky.�

Tony groaned and his eyelids fluttered open. “Duck-ky…� he whispered, his voice ruined from the heaving. Tony’s eyes rolled back in his head.

“Now, now, do try and stay awake for just a moment. I need to ask you several questions.�

Tony blinked owlishly at him and nodded slightly.

“Do you feel nauseous?� Tony nodded affirmatively.

“Is your leg hurting?� Tony nodded again.

“Are your ribs and collarbone hurting?�

“Ribs yeah…collarbone…not so much…�

Ducky nodded. “Very good Anthony. I am going to check your blood sugar. I fear with all of the vomiting you’ve done today you may have caused your blood sugar to become low.�

Ducky chatted while he got out the meter, prepped the lancet and unwrapped the alcohol swab. He gently took Tony’s good hand in his. “Sharp stick,� Ducky warned, and before Tony could protest Ducky pricked Tony’s finger.

Tony yelped in surprise and blinked his eyes open wide, fully awake. Ducky quickly placed a drop of blood on the tiny strip and watched as the meter began its countdown.

65.

“My dear boy, it’s no wonder you’re feeling poorly. Your blood sugar is quite low.� Ducky glanced up at Janet. “My dear, could we trouble you for a cup of juice to get the lad’s blood sugar levels raised?�

Janet nodded. “I’ll bring him some apple juice,� she said and left the room.

“Why’s he shaking so bad?� Gibbs’ voice was shaking nearly as badly as Tony was and Ducky wondered if he was in shock as well.

“He’s in shock Jethro, as you said. He’s in pain, he’s traumatized, his blood sugar is low…he’s shaking for many reasons,� Ducky explained carefully, not taking his eyes off of Tony who had drifted off again.

They all looked up when they heard the sound of car doors shutting outside. Moving to the window to look, Walter let out a long breath. “Looks like your team is here Jethro,� he said.

Gibbs didn’t move from Tony’s side. He pulled out his phone and hit a button.

“We’re at the neighbors’ house,� he said without preamble. “Who all’s here?�

Gibbs listened for a moment as Kate informed Gibbs of what was going on in his driveway. He was mildly surprised to learn that Palmer and the Director had shown up as well.

“Send the Director to get the key from me. I locked the houseâ€"didn’t want to take any risk of the crime scene being tampered with. Send Palmer too,â€� Gibbs added, relieved when he saw Ducky nod. “No,â€� Gibbs continued. “Everyone else needs to stay over there. Tony doesn’t need an audience right now.â€� He snapped the phone shut before Kate could argue with him.

Janet returned with a cup and a straw for Tony. “Alright honey here ya go,� she said and Tony startled awake, his body jarring painfully and drawing a whimper out of him.

Gibbs took the cup. “Hey Tony,� he said softly. Gibbs’ eyes were glassy with emotion. “Got you some juice sweetheart, here,� Gibbs put the straw to Tony’s lips, relieved when he began to drink slowly. He carded his fingers through his lover’s hair and made another vow to kill Declan. “Palmer and Director Morrow are coming over, so in a minute you’ll hear them at the door. But it’s ok Tones, we’re safe here, alright?�

Tony blinked up at him tiredly and nodded.

True to Gibbs’ word less than a minute later the doorbell rang. Tony’s eyes widened briefly, but then he relaxed, remembering Jethro’s words.

Director Morrow and Jimmy Palmer stepped into the room. “Oh goodness,� Morrow said and Gibbs nodded.

Gibbs passed the key to his house to the Director. “It’s unbelievable,� he said softly. “There is DNA all over the room, fingerprints, lip prints, there’s a glass he drank out of…name it. I want the whole house searched. Test everything you have to. He used Tony’s pills to spell out a word on the bed too,� Gibbs continued. “I’m going to have to call his doctor and figure out how to get him more prescriptions…I don’t trust those pills now,� Gibbs said firmly.

“Don’t worry about the house; we’ll take care of it,� Morrow assured Gibbs quietly. “You’ve got something much bigger to worry about,� he added, glancing over at Tony.

“Agreed,� Gibbs said. “Tony’s health and safety is much more important.�

“Agent DiNozzo,� Morrow called softly. Palmer was sitting by Tony’s side, telling him a story quietly to distract him from everything going on. At the director’s words, Palmer and Tony both looked at him.

“You are being placed under protection Tony. Do you understand?�

Tony nodded slowly and his eyes filled with tears. He turned his head away and closed his eyes.

“Agent Gibbs will be your assigned agent, with others working perimeters,� Morrow continued.

Tony looked at him, shocked. “I thought Gibbs…be needed…th’house…work the case,� he slurred softly.

“Your protection comes first. Agent Gibbs is the best agent we have for that job.� Morrow looked at Gibbs knowingly. “He won’t leave your side, Agent DiNozzo.�

Tony nodded, “thanks,� he said softly, ignoring the two tears that ran down his face.

“I’ll get Agent Balboa’s team to work protection with you Gibbs while your team heads up the investigation here. I assume you want this to be kept as quiet as possible?�

Gibbs nodded, “Tony doesn’t want his privacy invaded more than it already has been, I don’t think,� Gibbs said softly.

Tony suddenly gasped hard on the couch and Gibbs rushed back to his side, nearly knocking Palmer over. “You okay?� His voice was soft, and his eyes were carefully searching.

Tony grasped at Gibbs with his good arm. “Gibbs…team’ll…� he gasped again, causing Gibbs to become slightly concerned, “Team’ll…know about…oh God,� Tony’s voice trailed off in a tired whispered.

“Try again Tony. You’re not making a lot of sense. What are you worried about the team learning?�

“Rule…rule number twelve,� Tony whispered. His eyes were wide. “C-can’t break…break your own…your own rules,� Tony gasped.

“Hey shhhh, you let me worry about the rules,� Gibbs said gently. “You worry about staying calm alright? You’re going to make yourself hurt worse,� he reminded him.

“N-nooo you can’t you can’t do this,� Tony protested, and his breathing grew even more labored. “You don’t need…need all this shit…from me,� Tony said. “My fault…my problem…� Tony began hyperventilating.

Gibbs quickly propped Tony up and slid in behind him. “Duck!� Ducky and Janet sprang into action, their military training kicking in and they worked as a fluid pair, despite only having just met.

Gibbs watched as Janet moved into Tony’s line of sight. She spoke in soothing words, encouraging Tony to focus on his breathing and on trying to calm down. Behind her, Gibbs could see Ducky drawing up the syringe. It was too much. It was time for Tony to rest.

Janet moved a little bit closer, putting her hands on Tony’s shoulders to hold him steady. Thankfully, Tony was wearing gym shorts, so Ducky had easy access to Tony’s leg. “It’s alright Tony,� Janet said brightly. “You’re doing great. Nice slow breaths, breathe in…breathe out…nice and slow just like that…�

Gibbs glanced at Tony, could see him calming down, and his eyes were closed. Running a gentle hand over Tony’s hair, Gibbs nodded once at Ducky.

The old ME nodded and in one fluid motion swiped the alcohol pad over the outside of Tony’s thigh and plunged the needle into Tony’s leg before he could even register what was happening. As soon as Tony felt the sting of the medication though, his eyes shot open and he let out a pained gasp.

“Nooooo Ducky noooo…G’bbs…D’ck…noo…� Tony quickly slumped into a deep, drug induced sleep.

“I used the same medication as the other night Jethro,� Ducky said softly as he disposed of the needle in the small Sharps Container in his bag. “It’s mild enough that I can still give him a painkiller as well. For now though, we need to make a plan dear boy.�

“We need to figure out where we’re staying,� Gibbs agreed.

Walter stepped up. “You are more than welcome to stay here. Although if you think he’d be safer away from the neighborhood I understand. But whatever we can do to help…�

Gibbs smiled and nodded his thanks. “I do think it’d be safer to move him to another neighborhood. We don’t know where this guy is, but we do know that he knows where we’ve been.� Gibbs ran a hand over his mouth.

“What about Reston House,� Ducky suggested softly. “I have plenty of room and there are plenty of medical supplies there because of mother.�

“I know you have your hands full with your mom though, Duck,� Gibbs said. “We don’t want to put you out any.�

“Nonsense Jethro,� Ducky said. “I insist. It makes the most sense. It’s quiet and protected, and goodness knows I have the medical supplies there that Anthony may require.�

Morrow spoke up. “He’s right Jethro. It’ll be as safe as any safe house we could provide for you. We’ll have guards posted. It’s the most ideal place.�

Gibbs nodded. “Ok.� He let out a long breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. Gibbs wouldn’t admit it, but he was feeling pretty out of control. He hated feeling out of control. He glanced over at Tony, head dropped to one side, lips parted, resting finally in a drug induced sleep.

Ducky patted Gibbs’ shoulder. “Come dear boy,� he said softly. “Let’s all go home so we can rest. Declan O’Sullivan is done for tonight. He won’t do anything else.�

xxx

Later…

The first thing Tony registered was pain. Lots of it. He felt like his whole body was on fire and he couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped from his lips. He blinked his eyes open and stared at the room, wondering briefly where he was, before the panic set in.

How had he ended up here? What was going on? He was supposed to be with Gibbs…where was Gibbs?

Pushing himself slowly up with his one good arm, Tony blinked heavily and looked around more. A feeling of dread rose in his gut. He knew that dresser. Recognized that wardrobe. Glancing around, he quickly realized there was no wheelchair nearby, nor were there crutches.

A sound from down the hall drew his attention, and Tony stared at the apartment’s bedroom door, waiting for it to open. He swallowed hard as the knob turned. How many times had he been in almost this exact same situationâ€"in this exact same bedâ€"in this exact same apartment?

Tony figured Gibbs must have finally grown tired of dealing with him and had given him back to Declan. He remembered being at Gibbs’ neighbor’s house vaguelyâ€"or had he dreamed it? Tony ran a hand down his thigh until he felt the slightly tender spot where Ducky’s needle had made its mark. He hadn’t dreamed it.

The door suddenly cracked open slightly and in the dim room, Tony could barely make out the figure coming in.

“Wh-who’s there?�

He heard a muffled chuckle and his gut tightened even more.

“D-Declan?�

“Ohh so you do remember me,� Declan sneered, now standing next to the bed.

“I could never forget you,� Tony spat.

xxx

“Tony…c’mon Tony snap out of it…it’s a dream sweetheart you gotta wake up…Tony? Can you hear me?� Gibbs shook Tony’s good shoulder gently. “C’mon Tony…time to wake up.�

xxx

Declan’s hand shot out and grabbed Tony’s hair, pulling him to lie back on the bed and grunt in pain at the sudden movement. Then his former lover was on top of him, pawing at his clothes, pulling off the sling, smiling wolfishly down at him.

“Where’s Gibbs?� Tony used every bit of courage he could muster to utter those words.

Declan recoiled and then slapped him hard across the face.

“You dare mention that bastard’s name in my presence? He stole you from me! So like any thief, he was punished.�

Tony was struggling now. “What are you talking about?! I left! He didn’t steal meâ€"didn’t force meâ€"I did it alone! What have you done to him? Where is he?â€�

Declan’s eyes narrowed. “You want to know that badly? Perhaps you’ll join him,� Declan spat. He grabbed Tony by the collar of his shirt and hauled him off the bed, paying no mind to the way Tony’s legs banged painfully against the bedframe and the floor. He began dragging him down the hall to the bathroom.

Declan opened the door and shoved Tony inside. Tony pulled himself up on his one good knee and looked around…there…in the bathtub…

Tony vomited at the sight of his lover.

xxx

Gibbs eyed his lover with concern as he thrashed and twisted on the bed. They’d made it safely to Reston House and had gotten Tony into one of Ducky’s guest bedrooms with no trouble. Shortly after their arrival, Tony’s nightmares had started. In his drugged state, he wasn’t able to find his own way out of them, and Gibbs was working feverishly to wake Tony up.

“Tony…DiNozzo can you hear me? Tony?� Gibbs slapped Tony lightly on his face. He carded his fingers through Tony’s hair, but nothing seemed to be working.

“Hey Duck! Need some help in here,� Gibbs called over his shoulder before turning back to Tony. “Ok Tony S’ok…S’ok now shhhh you’re having a nightmare wake up,� Gibbs pleaded.

Suddenly Tony shot up in bed. “NOOOOOOOO! GIIIBBBBBBSSSS!� Tony’s voice was rough from the surgery and the vomiting that had followed it. Gibbs was immediately in action, gently easing Tony back down.

“Shhhh I’m right here…shhhh it’s alright now…you with me?�

Tony blinked hard, trying to get his eyes to focus. The room was dim…he recognized it…he knew that dresser…that wardrobe…it was just like his dream…only different…Tony turned his head to the side and vomited.

Ducky joined Gibbs in the room in time to see Tony throw up on the bed. “Oh dear,� he murmured and turned around to go get the supplies they needed.

Gibbs stayed in Tony’s line of sight, moving away only to turn on a light so Tony could see better. “There we go,� Gibbs murmured. “You with me now?�

Tony stared up at Gibbs…that handsome face…the beautiful blue eyes…the same eyes that stared so lifelessly up at him moments before…Tony’s stomach lurched and he vomited again.

“Woah take it easy, c’mon Tony, let’s sit up, c’mon I got you nice and slow now, it’s alright,� Gibbs murmured slowly easing Tony up. He was surprised when Tony grabbed his arm. The fear in his eyes caused Gibbs to stop and really look at him.

“Hey,� he said softly. “What’d you dream? Talk to me Tony. I’m right here and I’m not leaving. It’s alright.�

Tony pawed at Gibbs with his good hand and grasped at him with the hand hanging out of the sling. He hadn’t spoken since the desperate cry at his waking. Gibbs pulled Tony close, embracing him firmly, running his hand up and down over Tony’s spine.

“S’ok Tony shhhh it’s alright now…I’ve got you…I’m right here…it’s Gibbs…I’ve got you now…you’re safe.�

Tony clung to Gibbs like a lifeline. Ducky came back in and saw the devastation before him and sighed. Every person had their breaking point and it seemed Tony had greatly surpassed his.

“Jethro take Anthony to the bathroom and help him get cleaned up while I put some fresh sheets on the bed,� Ducky ordered. He was very concerned about Tony.

Gibbs scooped Tony up and carried him to the en suite bathroom. He sat him gently on the toilet lid and wet a washcloth. Gibbs put a very gentle hand on top of Tony’s head and tilted his head back slightly. It was easy to see that the drugs were still in effect; Tony’s eyes were open but glazed, and he looked completely lost.

He hadn’t spoken since his terrified shriek in the other room.

Gibbs gently wiped Tony’s face with the cool, damp cloth. Tony blinked at the cool contact and drew in a sharp breath, which turned quickly into a whimper of pain. “Easy,� Gibbs murmured. “You with me?�

“Gibbs,� Tony choked out.

“Hey…I’m right here,� Gibbs said softly. He tilted Tony’s face up and kissed him softly.

“Oh God,� Tony gasped and buried his face in Gibb’s neck. “Oh God it was terrible,� he moaned.

“Talk to me Tony. Tell me what happened. What’d you dream?�

“I dr-dreamed Declan…� Tony heaved again and Gibbs leaned him over the bathtub as he retched helplessly again. When he was finished, Gibbs wiped his face again. “I dreamed he killed you Jethro,� Tony whispered brokenly.

Gibbs kissed him again and hugged him close. “He’s not going to hurt me. He’s not here. We’re at Ducky’s and everybody is safe.�

Tony sagged against him, completely spent. “Hurts,� he whispered.

“I would imagine everything is hurting by now isn’t it,� Gibbs said sympathetically, running his fingers through Tony’s hair. Tony nodded pitifully.

Gibbs kissed the top of Tony’s head. “C’mon babe, let’s get you back in bed.�

xxx

The next morning Ducky checked Tony over carefully and gave him his next dose of painkillers before leaving for work. He gave specific instructions to Gibbs for Tony’s medication dosage and told him to make sure and call if there were any questions or concerns.

Gibbs waved as Ducky drove off and then closed the door to the house, locking it securely. His gut was churning wildly this morning.

As he headed back to Tony’s room he heard Ducky’s mother call him from the dining room. “Matthew? Are you here?�

Gibbs smiled. Didn’t matter how many times he told her what his name was… “I’m here Mrs. Mallard,� he called, detouring to see her. He missed the shadowed figure walking by the window outside.

xxx

Tony was dozing lightly. His leg hurt like a sonofabitch, but it was nothing compared to the fire in his ribs from all the throwing up he’d done the day and night before. He opened one eye and glanced around the room, wondering where Gibbs was. He’d said he was going to go see Ducky out, but he shoulda been back by now, shouldn’t he?

He eased himself up on an elbow to glance down the hall. Gibbs had left the door open for him. As he looked around, he thought he saw something move outside. At a glance it looked like a person had walked by the window. Pushing himself up to sit, he stared out the window, but he didn’t see anything. A few moments later he heard a door open and shut, and a few moments after that he saw Ducky’s dogs running around outside.

Tony blinked and looked away, but just as he averted his gaze he thought he saw movement again. “It’s nothing,� he whispered to himself, even as he felt the cold sweat begin to bead up on his forehead. “It’s one of the agents, it’s fine, everything’s ok,� he whispered.

A moment later Gibbs appeared in the doorway. When he saw the look of near panic on Tony’s face, his eyebrows knit together in concern. “You ok?�

“Thought I saw something outside,� Tony mumbled. “Think my mind is playing tricks on me.�

“I’ve been doing the same thing,� Gibbs reassured him. “I’ve checked with Balboa though; there’s no one out there.�

“No one except Mrs. Mallard,â€� Tony said with a chuckle, pointing out at the old lady outside with the dogs. Then realization hit. “Oh shit,â€� he breathed. “Gibbs you’ve got to go get her! She shouldn’t be outside right nowâ€"with Declan on the runâ€"God knows he’s crazy enough to kidnap her or something just to get to me. Go make her come in, Gibbs please!â€�

“Tony I’m not supposed to leave you,� Gibbs reminded him. “You’re on protection detail. The fact that I left you alone long enough to go to the door is enough to say I broke protocol.�

“I’m fine! It’s like you saidâ€"there’s no one else here but us and Balboa’s team and Mrs. Mallard. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her Gibbs. Please?â€�

Gibbs looked out the window. The old woman seemed to be wandering aimlessly, moving farther and farther away from the house. Damn. Gibbs ran a hand over his face.

“Fine but I’m putting you in the wheelchair before I go and you’re holding my backup weapon until I come back.�

Tony’s eyes widened slightly. “You still don’t think it’s safe do you,� he asked quietly.

“I don’t know what to think. I know Balboa told me there’s no one outside though. We have nothing to worry about.�

“But your gut’s churning,� Tony said, wincing when Gibbs lifted him into the chair. Gibbs put his backup gun in Tony’s good hand and handed Tony his belt. A silent conversation took place as Tony looked at the belt with understanding before nodding at Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded. “Has been all morning.�

Tony kissed him softly. “Hurry back,� he whispered.

Gibbs kissed him again. “You use that gun if you have to.�

Tony nodded. “I will.�

xxx

Tony watched silently out the window as Gibbs made his way across Ducky’s expansive lawn. The dogs were excited to see a new playmate and were jumping around Gibbs’ feet as Gibbs strode purposefully across the grass.

Tony’s gut was tingling too now, after his talk with Gibbs. He really didn’t think they were safe; hadn’t thought so; knew they wouldn’t be until the bastard was dead or in prison. He thought he heard a sound behind him and turned, frowning when he didn’t see anything.

Turning to look out the window again, Tony’s eyes widened and he gasped when he saw the reflection behind him.

“Beautiful day isn’t it, Tony?� Declan sneered as he knocked the gun out of Tony’s hand. Tony started to scream when an iron-like hand slammed over his mouth, muffling any sound he’d make.

“Enjoy it,� the words whispered in his ear. “You’re not gonna live to see tomorrow.�

TBC…

Chapter 17: Breaking Loose

Gibbs strode across the yard quickly. He didn’t want to frighten Mrs. Mallard, but he needed to get her back inside as quickly as possible so he could return to Tony’s side. He didn’t like leaving his lover unguarded, but he’d been assured by Balboa that there was nobody but NCIS agents on the premises. Seeing Ducky’s mother up ahead, Gibbs called out to her.

“Mrs. Mallard! Mrs. Mallard we have to go back inside. Come on,� he called. She stopped and turned.

“No dear boy. There is a strange man in the house. I feel much more comfortable outside.�

Gibbs froze. “Who did you see? Was it one of the NCIS agents?�

The sweet old lady shook her head. “Oh no Matthew. This young man was most certainly not one of the agents.�

“Can you tell me what he looked like?�

“Quite tall. Dark hair. Very muscular. He was quite good looking, dear boy.�

“That’s good Mrs. Mallard. Can you tell me anything else about him?�

“Oh yes. He has a tattoo. I don’t believe I’ve seen any of your agents sporting a tattoo of this nature before. It was a large serpent--on his arm.�

Gibbs pulled out his cell phone and called Balboa. “We’ve got a breach,� he snapped into the phone. “The bastard’s in the house. Declan O’Sullivan is in the house.�

“I’m on it Gibbs--where are you?�

“I’m in the garden with Mrs. Mallard. Tony saw her wandering and insisted with everything going on that I bring her inside. She saw O’Sullivan in the house and decided to come outside.�

“Shit,� Gibbs heard Balboa mutter in his ear.

“What? What is it?�

“Saw how he got in the house. I’ve got Morrison and Taylor here. They’re unconscious.�

Gibbs quickly glanced around and saw a bench nearby overlooking one of Ducky’s immaculate gardens. “Mrs. Mallard? I would like for you to sit here for a little bit. I need to go back inside. The man you saw is not supposed to be here. The dogs will stay with you, is that alright?�

“Oh my dear Matthew I do wish you would stay with me. It’s a lovely day.�

“It is a lovely day, but this is very important. Someone will join you soon. I promise.�

Gibbs turned and ran back toward the house. Tony needed him. God he should have never left him. The senior agent knew he’d never forgive himself if something happened to his lover. “Balboa talk to me,� Gibbs snapped into the phone.

“The guard at the driveway is unconscious as well…whoever this is…they’ve gotta be inside. If it’s O’Sullivan I’m betting he’s found DiNozzo by now. Where’d you leave him?�

“In the guest room on the first floor where he’s staying.�

“If I were you I’d get there in a hurry. I think this guy means business.�

xxx

Tony groaned against the hand clamped solidly over his mouth. His eyes widened and he shook his head weakly when he saw Declan hold a syringe in front of his face.

“Can’t have you fighting me just yet,� Declan sneered. “We wouldn’t want the party to end before we even get it started now would we?�

Declan moved to give Tony the ominous injection, but Tony grabbed Declan’s wrist and began to struggle. He bit the hand covering his mouth and when Declan jerked away, Tony took a deep breath. “SOMEBODY HELP!� Tony didn’t think about the desperation or the fear in his voice--he just hoped someone actually heard him.

“Shut up damn you,� Declan grunted as he punched Tony hard in the side as he continued to struggle. It wasn’t long before the wheelchair flipped over and Tony and Declan were on the floor. The fight was suddenly much more evenly matched and the two rolled on the ground, vying for dominance. Declan was briefly shocked at how strong Tony actually was--he realized this was the first time that Tony had ever fought back. Tony realized how much adrenaline he had in his system--he was feeling no pain, but a little voice in the back of his head told him he’d regret it later. He glanced around looking for the needle Declan had been holding; he didn’t need to be surprised by that…his life depended on it.

“NCIS! FREEZE!� Tony glanced up for only a moment in his struggling and saw Balboa standing in the doorway, gun trained on both of them. Tony knew Balboa couldn’t get the shot--he and Declan were too intertwined, too animated--there was no way to get a clear hit without risking shooting Tony. Tony wasn’t huge on the idea of being shot today, but if it meant stopping Declan once and for all…

“DO IT!� Tony was yelling from the middle of the melee on the floor as he struggled to subdue his former lover, “SHOOT HIM! DO IT!�

Balboa’s eyes were flickering quickly over the situation, looking for a good shot, his fingers hovering over the trigger, but unwilling to shoot his friend.

Declan realized his advantage and smiled.

“You little NCIS agents are so cute, running around here like you’re playing cops and robbers. I waltzed right in here like I owned the place--even said good morning to the old lady who lives here on my way in. Imagine how convenient you made it for me when Agent Gibbs went out to collect the old lady and the dogs. Too perfect. I find it ironic that the super special agent screwed up and broke protocol for some old dogs!�

“I said freeze,� Balboa growled. “I won’t ask again.�

Declan smiled and flipped suddenly, hitting Tony again, and resuming the struggle for control, knowing that the NCIS agent wouldn’t risk shooting Tony.

“You won’t do it,� Declan sneered from the floor as he and Tony rolled and fought. “You don’t have the guts!�

Balboa’s face contorted with anger and he pulled the trigger. He missed his mark and the bullet only grazed Declan’s shoulder. Declan finally made a good hit on Tony and his former partner collapsed limply over his body, draping him like a canvas--a move which Declan used to his advantage, and he reached for Gibbs’ backup weapon that had landed in the floor when the wheelchair turned over.

Declan made sure to keep Tony between him and the NCIS agent as he began scooting for cover and firing the gun. He heard a grunt of pain and watched in satisfaction as the agent collapsed to the ground in a heap, clutching his shoulder and groaning in pain. Another shot disabled Balboa’s gun arm and Declan smiled.

“I’m sure your precious Gibbs isn’t too far away,� Declan murmured to Tony, as the other man’s eyes began to flutter open slowly. Declan kept Tony between him and the door, and kept careful watch, looking for any sign of the bastard who’d stolen his lover away. Oh yes Gibbs would pay for that.

Seconds later Gibbs cleared the hall and headed for the guest room. He saw Balboa lying in a bloody heap on the floor in the doorway, a gunshot wound in his shoulder and it looked like he’d been shot in the arm too.

Gibbs motioned for Balboa to not alert Declan of Gibbs’ presence. To Gibbs’ surprise, Balboa pushed himself up to sit and called out, “DiNozzo? Tony can you hear me?�

Inside the room Declan tightened his hold on Tony. “Tell him you’re fine and tell him to back off,� he instructed.

“Go Balboa--get out of here,� Tony said tiredly. His fingers tightened on the knife that had been in the belt Gibbs handed to him before leaving. “I’m alright man, just back off. Don’t want you to get hurt worse,� Tony continued.

Outside the door, Gibbs took a half step closer to the bedroom and froze when the floorboard beneath his foot creaked ever so softly. Gibbs closed his eyes and waited, hoping that Declan hadn’t heard the board creak.

Declan raised the gun. “C’mon out Agent Gibbs. I know you’re out there. I’m surprised though, that you let this other agent be shot on your watch. You must be a bigger pussy than I thought! I don’t know what Tony could possibly see in you--but there again, he’s never been the smartest kid in the class…�

Gibbs took a deep breath and started to move toward the door when he heard Tony yell from inside the room, “DON’T DO IT GIBBS! IT’S A TRAP! HE’S GOT THE GUN TRAINED RIGHT ON THE--� there was a thump and Tony’s words were abruptly cut off.

“Tony?� Balboa could see Tony and the concern was evident in his voice. “DiNozzo, man can you hear me?�

Tony slowly worked his jaw, wondering if it was broken. It hurt. A lot. “’m ok Balboa,� Tony said softly, his words slurring.

Gibbs let out a slow breath, relieved to hear Tony’s voice.

“I didn’t tell you to speak did I, asshole? So shut the fuck up!� Declan’s voice was loud, yelling, and slightly hysterical sounding. He was rattled and Gibbs wanted to capitalize on this. Surely Declan didn’t really think he could get out of this alive--did he?

Deciding this had gone on long enough, Gibbs called out to Declan. “Send Tony out and we’ll talk.� Sure we’ll talk, Gibbs thought to himself, I’ll personally introduce you to the muzzle of my gun…

“What makes you think I wanna talk asshole,� Declan yelled. “Tony’s mine! You can’t have him! You stole him away, but he’s mine! He wants to come with me!�

“Listen you’ve got to the count of three to surrender…one…two…three…� Gibbs waited another second before rounding the corner.

Declan smiled and opened fire, but the bullet went off course when Tony slammed into him.

“NO!� Tony’s voice was filled with anger, fear, and desperation. The knife slammed into Declan’s shoulder, ripping and tearing through flesh and muscle, quickly disarming him. Declan rolled over and tried to fight Tony off, but his former lover was too upset, too angry, too strong, and too desperate to survive.

The knife came down again, and Tony let out a frustrated growl when Declan tried to speak. “SHUT UP! YOU’VE ORDERED ME AROUND FOR YEARS BUT NOW I AM TELLING YOU TO SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP!�

Declan reached for the gun with his good hand, a groan of pain escaping his lips and Tony brought the knife down again. “Stay down you bastard,� he whispered, desperation filling his voice, and emotion causing it to crack. In that moment it seemed Tony recalled every moment of his relationship with Declan--he recalled every kick, every punch, every slap, every concussion, broken bone--every moment of his life with Declan had been one hellacious nightmare after another, and this…this was his moment--this was his retribution. He was breaking loose from this bastard and he never wanted to look back.

Tony had read the articles and attended the seminars on domestic violence. He knew about killing in self-defense, he knew about Stockholm Syndrome; he knew that sometimes the abused partner could reach a point where death of one of the partners seemed to be the only means of escape, and Tony wondered vaguely if he was at that point. He lifted the knife again and Declan stared up at him and he smiled.

“You don’t have the guts,� he said softly. “You can’t kill me because a part of you still loves me.�

The knife hovered over Declan’s heart…and Tony hesitated.

xxx

Kate and McGee settled in the bullpen, prepared for another long, boring day of working on cold cases. They’d each spoken with Gibbs earlier in the morning, and were informed that Tony’s night had been long and strained, and that Gibbs would not be working until Declan O’Sullivan was in custody.

They’d been hard at work for about an hour when Kate’s desk phone rang.

“Agent Todd,� she answered.

She was quiet for a minute as she listened to the caller’s words. McGee’s eyes shot up when she suddenly breathed out a quiet, “Oh my God.� She listened a moment more, and then stood up, her phone still pressed to her ear. “We’re on our way,� she said and hung up the phone. She looked at Tim. “We’ve got to get to Ducky’s. Someone has managed to knock most of Balboa’s team unconscious and Gibbs, Tony, and Balboa have not made outside contact in the past five minutes.�

The two agents grabbed their things and were out the door without a backward glance. Director Morrow was on his way down from his office to the bullpen when he saw Kate and McGee gear up and head out. He smiled approvingly and nodded. They’d be excellent agents with time. Their skills were improving by the day.

xxx

“Can’t you drive any faster?!� Kate was leaning forward in the seat, straining against her seatbelt as though her pulling herself forward would somehow propel the car forward at a faster rate. She glared at McGee whose lips were in a firm line. He was driving as fast as he dared through rush hour traffic--even with the flashing light on the roof of the car, he wasn’t in any hurry to get in a car accident--that would not help Tony and Gibbs.

He glanced at her for a brief second before turning his gaze back to the road. “I’m not Gibbs, Kate,� he said firmly. “I don’t have his…reflexes.�

“It’s not going to matter what kind of reflexes Gibbs has if we don’t hurry up though Probie,� Kate growled.

Finally reaching a break in the traffic, McGee floored the gas, and the two agents hurried toward their friends, unsure of what they’d find, and hoping to God they weren’t too late to help them.

xxx

Tony held the knife over Declan’s heart and his hands shook ever so slightly. Declan saw it and smiled. “Come away with me,� he whispered. “We can leave this whole mess behind us. We’ll move to a new place--start a new life, just you and me and it will be beautiful. We’re so good together baby--I love you; can’t you see that? You just got confused is all. I never meant to hurt you.� His fingers tightened on the gun.

Tony’s fingers tightened on the knife and he shook his head, his teeth worrying his bottom lip. “I want you to leave and never look back. I want you to forget I exist,� he growled.

Declan’s smile turned sinister. “Oh no I could never do that. You belong to me Anthony,� he said. The tone was so familiar to that of Tony’s father that the other man drew pause for only a second, but it was long enough for Declan to raise the gun at Gibbs.

“Say goodbye to your precious Agent Gibbs,� Declan sneered and his finger tightened on the trigger.

Gibbs still couldn’t get a clear shot of O’Sullivan--he and Tony were too tightly intertwined on the floor and Gibbs was not going to risk shooting his lover--not after everything that had already happened. Gibbs ducked out of the way, already knowing the fallout from this would be tremendous--he wondered how many stitches Tony had popped and how long he’d be in the hospital as a result of this…

Gibbs glanced around the edge of the door and watched as Tony dove for the gun, fighting Declan for it…

A moment later he heard a single shot, and then everything was quiet.

In the hallway, Balboa groaned in pain and Gibbs put a hand on his good shoulder. “Gonna be alright,� he said. “Stay with me okay?�

“Ch-chec-ck D-Di-Nozz-zo,� Balboa stuttered out. Gibbs nodded and rose to his feet.

“Tony?� Gibbs slowly peeked around the door and his gut clenched when he saw the two men lying motionless on the floor. Tony was lying mostly on his stomach, his arm had been jerked from the sling early on, and his legs were in a twisted heap beneath him.

“Tony? Can you hear me?� Gibbs shook Tony’s shoulder gently, his gut churning until he heard the soft sobbing breaths emanating from his lover. Gibbs gently rolled Tony over and pulled him close.

“It’s ok babe,� Gibbs whispered and Tony suddenly clung tightly to him. There were no words from the younger man, but the way he clung to Gibbs told the senior agent all he needed to know. “It’s ok I’ve got you now shhhh.�

The senior agent reached out with one hand and felt for the pulse of the man lying on the floor next to them. Brown eyes stared sightlessly at the ceiling and blood pooled under him. No pulse. Declan O’Sullivan was dead. The gun and the knife lay discarded on the floor beside them.

It was finally over.

A moment later, Gibbs and the remaining conscious members of Balboa’s teams crashed through the door, guns drawn, screaming out warnings for people to freeze and drop their weapons.

“Stand down, it’s over,� Gibbs told them. “Somebody call 911 and get Ducky out here with the van…Jesus we’re all gonna be living in hotels at the rate we’re going,� Gibbs grumbled, running a hand up and down Tony’s back softly.

Gibbs held Tony protectively, feeling Tony’s muscles begin to slacken as the adrenaline rush wore off. Eventually, Tony collapsed and lay limply in his partner’s arms, content and knowing he would be protected. When Tony finally passed out, Gibbs eased him gently to the floor, took great care to make sure his airway was clear, and then kept a constant touch on his hand, shoulder, hair--anywhere Tony would realize he was being touched, so he would know he wasn’t alone.

The senior agent remained where he was, not moving when he heard the sound of the sirens alerting them that the ambulance had arrived. A moment later a team of paramedics rushed in and joined Gibbs and Tony on the floor.

“How long has he been unconscious?�

“Less than five minutes,� Gibbs replied, his eyes never leaving Tony’s face.

“What about the other guy?�

“He’s dead,� Gibbs said softly. “Our Medical Examiner is already on the way.�

The paramedics made quick work of loading Tony onto the gurney and Gibbs was surprised to see Tony blink his eyes open as they started out the door. The pleading look he sent Gibbs spurred the older man into action, and he raced out of the house after the EMTs.

“Wait,� Gibbs called.

One of the EMTs turned and looked back at Gibbs. “We need to hurry,� he explained. “What’s up?�

“I want to ride with you.�

“Sir we don’t usually allow people to--�

Gibbs felt a heavy feeling of guilt and desperation rise up within him. “Please,� he said softly. “I’m his protecting officer…he’s under guard…please let me ride with him,� Gibbs said. He’d deny begging, but a little voice in his head said that was exactly what was happening.

The EMTs shared a quick look; it was against regs that other passengers accompany them…but since this guy was a Fed…and since he was under guard…

“Fine,� the driver finally said. “But stay out of the way.�

“I will,� Gibbs promised.

He couldn’t explain this insatiable need he felt to be close to the younger man. Glancing back at the other agents currently processing Ducky’s house, Gibbs climbed in. He saw Balboa being loaded up into another ambulance, grumbling and protesting the whole way about only having a flesh wound and telling everyone he was “fine dammit.�

Gibbs sat on the bench inside the back of the ambulance. He smirked silently and shook his head, watching as they closed the doors and started on their way. His attention quickly turned to the man on the gurney before him.

Tony’s face was a pale shade of grayish-green, no doubt from the pain. Lines marred his features, evidence of the strain he’d put himself under this morning, and Gibbs could have kicked himself. It was his fault. If he’d followed procedure, if he had stayed with Tony and let someone else handle Mrs. Mallard, then none of this would have happened.

Or he could be lying dead in the floor and Declan could be dragging Tony away to reassert his control once again. Gibbs decided he’d gladly have taken Tony’s place, but a small part of him knew that Tony needed this victory.

On the stretcher, Tony groaned softly and his eyelids fluttered open slowly.

“Thank God,� Gibbs breathed, and reached out a cautious hand to run it carefully over his lover’s hair. “Take it easy,� he murmured. “We’re going to the hospital. You’re going to be fine.�

Tony’s face crumpled in pain and a shuddery breath was Gibbs’ only reply. Gibbs lifted Tony’s good hand and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it. “I’m right here, babe,� he murmured, his lips close to Tony’s ear. “He’s dead Tony. He’s gone. It’s over. He can’t hurt you ever again. You’re safe. It’s over.�

Despite his calming, soothing words though, something in Gibbs’ gut couldn’t help but feel as though this mess wasn’t over at all. He was scared to think of what else might go wrong.

He didn’t think either of them could take it.

TBC…

Chapter 18: Breaking Jaws

Gibbs growled when he was relegated to the waiting room in the ER. He wanted to stay with Tony; hell, he needed to stay with Tony. A nurse stepped up to him as Tony was rolled away, her hands raised in a gentle halting motion, and smiled sadly at him.

“I know you are concerned for your friend, Agent…� she said softly.

“Gibbs. My name is Gibbs. Tony is my partner,� Gibbs choked out. “He’s under my guard; we’re federal agents. I’m his next of kin and medical power of attorney.�

The nurse, whose name badge said ‘Alice,’ narrowed her eyes just slightly. “I understand,� she said, in that same soft voice. She wasn’t going to out these two, but she could obviously see the signs of distress from the agent in the waiting room. This was more than a working relationship, and more than a protective duty assignment. “Let me talk with the doctor, let us get your partner checked in, and I’ll be right back out to get you. Just a few minutes, alright?�

Gibbs’ hand wrapped gently around her wrist as she turned to move away. “Please,� he said softly, his voice cracking. “If he’s scared…tell him he’s safe. Tell him I’m coming. Please? And please hurry.� Gibbs hated himself for the way he sounded so vulnerable, but he felt so helpless. He hated that he had left Tony, should never have left him alone in the house…

“Of course.� Alice nodded and was gone.

Gibbs began to pace, his fingers laced around the back of his neck, eyes narrowed to barely open squints, and he waited. He hoped Alice hadn’t lied to him.

A few moments later, a gentle hand rested on his shoulder and he whipped around, surprised at the sudden contact. He let out a harsh breath when he saw that it was Ducky and Abby, and not Alice.

“Where’s Alice,� Gibbs asked, looking around. “Has she come back yet? Did I somehow miss her?�

Ducky and Abby exchanged a silent look and Ducky took a gentle step forward. “My dear boy are you alright?�

“I need to find the nurse…her name is Alice. She said she was going to get me back to see Tony. She said she’d be right back. Why hasn’t she come back yet?�

Ducky nodded. “Jethro you look like you’re in a bit of shock, dear boy. Come have a seat.� The older man led Gibbs to a nearby chair and gently pushed him down into it.

“It’s all my fault Duck,� Gibbs whispered, shaky hands running through his hair. “My fault.�

“Jethro I dare say you are not the one who is at fault here. Indeed, it is that rascal Declan O’Sullivan who is at fault. He is the one who has inflicted the damage here--not you.�

“No you don’t understand Ducky,� Gibbs mumbled. “I left him alone. Your mother had gone outside and Tony begged me to go out and get her so she could stay inside where it was safe. I shouldn’t have listened…shouldn’t have done it…should have stayed with him. This wouldn’t have happened if I--�

Gibbs’ words were cut off by a sharp headslap to the back of his head. He turned widened eyes toward Abby.

“Sorry,� Abby said contritely. “I just can’t sit here and listen to you beat yourself up like this. Sure you shouldn’t have left him Gibbs, but you’re human--you had people all around the house; there was no reason to think that the bastard could get anywhere near him! THIS. IS. NOT. YOUR. FAULT.�

“I am inclined to agree with Abigail, Jethro,� Ducky said. “Under the circumstances, if you had been in the house, Declan would likely have killed you to get to Tony. Where would that have gotten you?�

“But I would have been there,� Gibbs said, a bit desperately. “I would have been with him, would have kept my promise that he wouldn’t be alone…would have kept my promise that Declan O’Sullivan wouldn’t hurt him ever again,� his voice faded to a whisper.

“Jethro…Tony does not blame you. I’m sure he--�

“Excuse me,� Alice stepped up. “Agent Gibbs?�

“Is Tony alright? Can I see him?�

“If you’ll just follow me. I’m sorry but the rest of you…�

“Oh we understand ma’am that’s okay,� Abby said. “Gibbs needs to be with Tony. The rest of us will see him whenever the doctor gives the okay.�

Gibbs was mildly shocked at the evenness of Abby’s voice and how in-control she sounded. “I’ll keep you updated,� Gibbs said. Then he followed Alice away without a backward glance.

Alice glanced surreptitiously at the federal agent walking beside her as they walked down the long hallway. The man was tense, on edge. “Agent Gibbs are you alright?�

Gibbs didn’t look at her, instead kept his gaze focused on the hall ahead of him. “I’ll be fine once I see Tony’s alright.�

“I know the doctor gave him something for the pain a few minutes ago. He may be sleeping.�

“Oh knowing Tony he’ll be shooting his mouth off in some insane prattle that will make your brain hurt,� Gibbs said with a smirk.

Alice pulled back a curtain and stepped inside a cubicle. “Tony? Agent Gibbs is here to see you.� She spoke a bit louder to Tony than she had to Gibbs and ran her fingers over his good arm firmly.

Tony’s eyes fluttered open and he stared blearily for a moment and then smiled slightly. “Hey ‘oss,� he said, his eyes flickering to the nurse. His words were slurred just a bit.

“We’ll be back in a moment to move you to x-ray,� Alice said and then she was gone.

Gibbs watched her go and once the curtain was closed behind her, he moved right up to Tony and ran his fingers through the younger man’s hair. “You okay?�

“Mmmh,� Tony said softly, nodding slowly. “Dey sink my jawsh boke,� he slurred quietly. Gibbs’ eyes narrowed in concern. “’m ok,� Tony said. “Noh mah firs ‘ime. Ga’ me some pain mehs.�

Gibbs nodded, but it made him sick to think that Tony was not unfamiliar with having his jaw broken. “Alice said they gave you something for the pain.� He pressed a kiss to Tony’s forehead. “I was so worried,� he whispered.

“’m ok,� Tony said again.

“Shhhh you shouldn’t try to talk. It must hurt,� Gibbs said sympathetically. Tony nodded pitifully. “They check everything else out,� Gibbs asked and Tony nodded again. Gibbs stood quietly beside his partner for a moment, running his fingers through Tony’s hair and being thankful that his lover was still alive. Tony finally dropped off to sleep with Gibbs’ gentle ministrations, just as the doctor appeared with Alice to move Tony to x-ray.

“You’re his partner?� The doctor looked at Gibbs. Gibbs nodded. “You can come with us,� the doctor said as they began to push Tony out of the room. “Heard he’s under guard.�

“That’s right,� Gibbs said, walking along beside Tony.

“I’m Dr. Bradley, attending resident.�

“Agent Gibbs.�

As they entered the x-ray theater, Dr. Bradley began barking orders. Gibbs smiled. He liked this doctor--he reminded Gibbs of himself.

“Okay people we’re going to do this quickly. Patient has symptoms of a mandibular dislocation. He also has prior shoulder, rib, knee and ankle injuries. We need to get these pictures taken as quickly as possible!�

Gibbs stood behind the screen with the doctor and watched the computer with the technician as x-rays of Tony’s jaw, shoulder, ribs, knee and ankle were taken. The doctor stroked his chin as he surveyed the damage, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

“His jaw is definitely dislocated, but I don’t see any evidence that it’s broken. That’s good. We’ll get the maxillofacial specialist to come down and reduce that as soon as he can. His ribs don’t show signs of further breakage, but I do see where they were broken not too long ago. His collarbone is going to have to be reset I’m afraid.�

“He broke it again?� Gibbs knew that having the use of only one arm had been a source of great frustration for Tony for weeks now.

Dr. Bradley shook his head. “No it merely aggravated the break he already had. He reinjured it in what appears to be the same spot.�

“Will it need surgery?�

Dr. Bradley shook his head again. “I don’t think so. Who is his orthopedist?�

“Dr. Corkran.�

“I know him. I’ll call him to come look at these films. Did he do all the work on his collarbone?�

Gibbs nodded. “His knee and ankle as well.�

Dr. Bradley looked at the screen of Tony’s knee. “This looks like it has been repaired recently.�

“He had surgery on it yesterday,� Gibbs said softly, his eyes not moving from the x-ray screens on the light bar.

“Yesterday?�

Gibbs nodded. He looked at the doctor then and shrugged helplessly. “Been a rough couple of days,� he said quietly.

“There doesn’t appear to be any new damage to his ankle but his knee…I’m going to have Dr. Corkran take a look at it also. Just to be safe.� Gibbs nodded. “In the mean time, we’re going to go ahead and set him up in a room. I don’t think I need to tell you that he’s in no shape to go home. Maybe tomorrow, depending on how he’s doing, but more than likely in a couple of days.�

Gibbs nodded again and watched as they loaded Tony back onto the gurney from the x-ray table he’d been set on when they arrived. “Is Dr. Brown working?�

“Dr. Brown? She should be. Would you like me to call her?�

“She took care of Tony when he sustained all of these…injuries,� Gibbs said quietly. “I’d like her to be involved again if it’s no trouble.�

“No trouble at all Mr. Gibbs. In fact, that’s actually better. I’m a resident in the ER, so that is typically where I spend all of my time. I’ll pass Tony’s records on to Dr. Brown for you and she will take over for me upstairs.�

“Great, thanks.�

Dr. Bradley smiled at Gibbs. “I know it’s been a rough couple of days. I can look at both of you and tell that much. Why don’t you go find some lunch, maybe a cup of coffee. It’s going to take a while to get the specialists and everyone lined up and get Tony moved to a room.�

Gibbs shook his head. “He’s under protection detail,� he explained. “He’s supposed to have me or another agent with him at all times. I’d prefer it were me.�

Dr. Bradley nodded. “I understand. I just thought perhaps you’d like a break. We’re playing the waiting game now. Tony’s been given some good pain meds; he shouldn’t wake up or be in much pain for the next few hours. It’d be ideal for us to have his jaw and collarbone set for him by the time that medication wears off.�

“The less pain we can keep him in the better,� Gibbs said. “He’s had a rough…a rough time,� he finished gruffly. “He deserves a break from the pain.�

Dr. Bradley smiled. “Well I am not one of those doctors who believes in skimping on pain medication. If Tony needs it, he will get it. I don’t like my patients to hurt.�

Gibbs nodded. They returned to the cubicle where they’d previously been and Gibbs sat on the only chair in the room. “I won’t wake him,� he said.

“If I thought you were going to I’d make you wait outside in the hall,� Dr. Bradley said. “Shall I close the glass door and leave the curtain open? The glass is bullet resistant--not that I’m anticipating a shooter in here anytime soon, but it does provide a bit of quiet.�

“The only person who would be shooting at any of us today is in the NCIS morgue,� Gibbs said darkly and Dr. Bradley’s eyebrows rose a bit. “But that’d be good if you’d shut the door. Tony’s a bit of a restless sleeper. Noise makes that worse.�

Dr. Bradley wondered at this pair. There was something not being said and while he thought he might know what it was, he wasn’t going to ask. It was none of his business. “Of course Agent Gibbs,� he replied. “I’ll check back in a few minutes to let you know how things are going. Once Dr. Brown gets the file she may come check on Tony too and supervise the transport upstairs.�

“Thanks,� Gibbs said, and then he was alone with his sleeping partner.

xxx

Gibbs knew the painkillers Tony was dosed up with must be powerful because through all of the bustle of moving him upstairs and from the stretcher to the bed, Tony never stirred. Gibbs was glad. He nodded his silent thanks to Ducky when the elderly doctor brought Jethro a steaming cup of “the good stuff� from the nurses’ station.

“Has the maxillofacial specialist been by yet, Jethro?�

Gibbs was sitting poised on the side of Tony’s bed facing his lover. He had Tony’s good hand clasped in his own in his lap, and in the other hand he held an icepack gently to his lover’s face.

“Not yet Duck,� Gibbs said softly. “Should be here anytime.�

Ducky stood on the other side of Tony’s bed. “Seems like not very long ago we were doing this very same thing,� Ducky said softly, a sad expression on his face.

Gibbs nodded. “You’re right. Hopefully this will be the last time though.� Ducky nodded in agreement.

A few moments later, a large, burly looking man entered the room. He was wearing green surgical scrubs and looked like he could bench press Gibbs or Tony. Or both. Gibbs narrowed his eyes, and without realizing it, let his hand drift towards his gun.

“I’m Dr. McLaren,� the man boomed, his voice as big as he was. “Maxillofacial specialist and surgeon. You must be Agent Gibbs.� He held out his hand.

Gibbs shook the huge man’s hand. “I am,� he said tightly. “This is Tony,� he indicated the sleeping man, “and Tony’s personal physician and friend, Dr. Donald Mallard.�

“My pleasure,� Ducky said pleasantly.

Dr. McLaren turned on the x-ray viewing screen and began to study it closely. He had thin wire-rimmed glasses, short dark hair and a goatee and he stroked his chin thoughtfully as he studied the images of Tony’s face. After a moment, he turned away from the x-rays and moved close to Tony.

“I’d like to take a look and see how the swelling is,� the doctor lowered his voice so he wouldn’t wake his sleeping patient. With a gentleness that Gibbs wouldn’t have thought possible, Dr. McLaren carefully moved the ice pack away from Tony’s jaw.

“Oh yes I can see the dislocation,� he said. He pointed with one finger along the curve of Tony’s jaw. “Right though here, you can see how the lines just don’t look right.� Gibbs nodded.

Dr. McLaren picked up Tony’s chart and glanced through it. “I’m going to give him a bit of morphine to supplement the painkillers he was already given. I’m also going to administer a light sedative to keep him relaxed. It can actually do more damage if he struggles than if we just pop it back into place without him fighting it. By medicating him like this it will also allow him to rest a bit after the dislocation is reduced. The soft tissue around his bones needs time to tighten back up. He’ll be on a soft foods diet for at least a month, perhaps longer. Ice everyday for a week, 20 min on, an hour off. Does he have someone to stay with?�

“He’ll be with me,� Gibbs said quietly.

Dr. McLaren nodded. “I’ll give you some information on mandibular dislocation, so you’ll know more about his recovery and what he needs to do to take care of himself.�

“Thanks,� Gibbs said softly.

“I’m just going to step out and get those medications. I will be right back in a moment.� The door shut behind him and the three men were alone again.

“Easy Jethro,� Ducky said softly. “He’s going to be alright. And this man certainly seems to know what he’s doing.�

Gibbs nodded. “I just hate this,� he muttered. He felt helpless. He hated feeling helpless.

The door opened and Dr. McLaren was back with Dr. Brown in tow. “Dr. Brown told me about the needles to use on Mr. DiNozzo,� he said.

“Tony,� Gibbs said softly.

“What?�

“He likes to be called Tony,� Gibbs said.

“Ah, of course! Tony it is then!� The doctor smiled at Gibbs. “The morphine can go straight into his IV port, but this sedative I want to administer intramuscularly so that it will take effect just a few moments quicker,� he said, deftly injecting the medication into the sleeping man.

Gibbs watched, fascinated by this man. He was a big guy--with a big personality--but he seemed to be a gentle giant. Tony didn’t even stir when he was given the shot. Gibbs would have sworn that Tony was completely relaxed before he was given the additional medication. However, the instant it started working, it was visibly obvious--Tony all but melted into the mattress. His body was completely limp, and his jaw hung open at a slightly wrong angle.

“We’ll give that just another minute to work and then I’ll reduce that dislocation,� the doctor said, replacing the ice pack on Tony’s jaw.

A soft knock at the door drew everyone’s attention and Dr. Corkran poked his head in. “Well I’m glad I was invited to the party,� he said softly with a smile. “Though I wish it were under better circumstances.�

“I was just about to reduce this dislocation and I will be out of your way,� Dr. McLaren said.

“Take your time,� Dr. Corkran said. “Tony here is my priority for this afternoon. I’ve cancelled all my other patients. They can wait. This may be an urgent situation and deserves my undivided attention.�

Gibbs suddenly found himself blinking back tears as heavy emotion filled his throat and rattled in his chest. It was reassuring to have all of these wonderful medical professionals taking Tony’s condition so seriously. The relief that Declan was gone, coupled with the relief that Tony was going to be alright, was nearly Gibbs’ undoing. He swallowed hard and took a sip of coffee. He kept his eyes fixed on the swirling brew in his hands and listened to the doctors talking to each other.

“Agent Gibbs,� Dr. McLaren called, drawing the agent’s attention from his cup of joe. “I need your help please,� he said kindly.

Gibbs set his coffee down and turned to Tony’s bed. “What do you need me to do?�

“Just hold his hands down for me please. Despite the medications this could still be slightly uncomfortable.�

Gibbs nodded and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled Tony’s good hand back into his lap and gently wrapped his fingers around the wrist on Tony’s injured arm.

“Are you ready?� The doctor had rolled Tony’s bed out from the wall slightly, so he could get behind the head of the bed.

Gibbs nodded. He watched as Dr. McLaren carefully removed the pillow from beneath Tony’s head and then gently tilted his head back slightly. He slid his thumbs into his mouth--in between Tony’s back teeth--and wrapped his fingers around the outside curve of Tony’s jaw.

“On three,� the doctor said. “One…two…three!�

If Gibbs lived a hundred more years he’d never forget the two sounds that came directly following that moment. The sickening crunch of Tony’s jaw sliding back into place was coupled with a pitiful whimper of pain from the unconscious man on the bed.

Dr. McLaren gave Tony a moment to rest after putting his jaw back in place and then carefully opened and shut his jaw. “Hmm,� he said. “that right side isn’t as even as I’d like. I’m going to reduce it a bit more. Just like before Agent Gibbs,� he said.

Gibbs resumed his position, as did the doctor. On the count of three, the doctor adjusted the joint ever so slightly and this time Tony didn’t whimper--he groaned. Loud and miserable sounding, it nearly ripped Gibbs’ heart out to hear it.

Another check by the doctor and the large man smiled. “There we go.� Dr. McLaren turned to Dr. Corkran, “He’s all yours. Agent Gibbs I’ll bring that information by for you.�

Gibbs, still staring at Tony’s face, nodded silently.

TBC...

Chapter 19: Breaking Ground

Dr. Corkran determined that additional surgery wouldn’t be needed for Tony’s knee, but he’d likely need more physical therapy in the end. After inspecting both Tony’s knee and his ankle, the doctor turned his attention to Tony’s collar bone. He carefully inspected the x-ray screens and then gently ran his fingers over the place where the bone had broken, feeling for the upset in the healing process. Dr. Corkran frowned slightly when he felt the slight protrusion of bone and made quick work of resetting the bone once again.

“In the morning I’ll get some x-rays and see how it looks. I’ve reduced the worst of it for now,� Dr. Corkran told Gibbs. He glanced at the clock. “I think for now the best thing we can do for Tony is keep him pain free with the medications and let him rest. That will give the swelling a chance to go down. I want to examine his ankle and knee again in the morning to make sure I didn’t miss anything with my examination today.�

Gibbs nodded. He could handle that. Dr. Corkran opened Tony’s chart and made a couple of notes. “I don’t want him out of bed. I know he doesn’t like to rely on people for help, but in this case he is not to put any weight on those legs. Especially his knee. If he needs the bathroom he can use the bedpan. Just call for a nurse or--�

“I can help him,� Gibbs said softly. “He’d probably be more comfortable that way.�

Dr. Corkran nodded. “That’s fine--just keep him off his legs. I’m going to raise the foot of his bed a bit to help keep the swelling down, and I will have a nurse bring some fresh ice packs. 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off for the rest of the day,� he instructed.

Gibbs nodded.

Finally the three men were alone and Gibbs shot an unreadable look at Ducky. “My dear boy,� Ducky said softly. “You need to get some rest. It’s been, to quote a wise man, a rough couple of days.�

Gibbs smirked and looked at the clock. Nearly 5pm. Tony was sound asleep, thanks to the strong pain medications he’d been given. “I’m not leaving Ducky,� he said firmly. “I’ll rest later. For now I gotta keep an eye on Tony.� He cut Ducky off at he started to speak. “I need it. For me. My own sanity. I have to help him. I have to take care of him,� Gibbs whispered, running his fingers lightly through Tony’s hair.

“I understand Jethro. Would you like me to keep the others away?�

Gibbs nodded and didn’t take his eyes off of Tony. Ducky could see the walls being constructed around the two men right before his very eyes. It would require an extreme measure of diligence on everyone’s behalf to penetrate these barriers. Gibbs was practically oozing of protectiveness, and Ducky pitied the poor soul who would undoubtedly encounter his wrath before the evening was over.

xxx

On Thursday morning, two days after everything came to a head at Ducky’s house, Kate scooped the teabag out of her mug with a spoon and carefully wrapped the string around it to squeeze the excess tea into her mug. With one hand she held her cup, the other she clicked her mouse, opening her email and nodding silently when she saw the email from Ducky that he’d finished the autopsy on Declan O’Sullivan.

She heard the ding of the elevator followed almost immediately by the voice of one of the security guards, “ma’am! Miss you’ve got to--�

And then suddenly there was a woman standing in front of Kate’s desk. She had dark hair, and a pointed nose; her frame was petite, but well toned and strong. Her hair was pulled back into a severe bun and she wore what was obviously a power suit, black rimmed glasses and heels. In one hand she held a smart phone, the other hand a handbag.

“Are you the agent I am needing to talk to about this farce of an investigation?� The woman’s voice was as cold as her eyes, her tone snappish, and she looked down at Kate as though she were somehow below her status.

Kate set her mug down and stood up. “My name is Agent Caitlyn Todd. May I ask which investigation you’re needing to speak with someone about?� She flashed her badge just for effect and the woman sneered at it. The profiler in Kate immediately set to work.

“My name is Caroline O’Sullivan. I was informed yesterday that an investigation involving my son is being conducted and that my son is dead. His name is Declan O’Sullivan. Perhaps you’ve heard of him? They’re trying to tell me he injured an NCIS agent.�

Fury welled up in Kate but she didn’t let it show. “I can assist you Mrs. O’Sullivan. I am on the team that is investigating this case. What can I do for you?�

“I have come to collect my son’s body, to take it to Ohio for a proper burial.�

xxx

Gibbs was reading the newspaper in Tony’s hospital room shortly after breakfast. Tony had just finished a short PT session for his collarbone and was now lying listlessly on the bed trying not to move, breathe too hard or do anything sudden to cause himself more pain. His eyes were closed and he was resting, but Gibbs knew he wasn’t asleep. Together they enjoyed a comfortable silence in the warm, sunny room.

The sudden ringing of his cell phone startled him just slightly and Tony’s eyes slid open. “Who’s zat,� he asked softly, his words still slightly slurred from his sore jaw.

Gibbs pulled the phone from his belt hook and frowned at it. “It’s Kate,� he said.

Tony perked up a bit at this and watched as Gibbs answered. “Yeah, Gibbs.� He listened and Tony strained to hear what Kate was saying. From the look on Gibbs’ face it wasn’t anything good. Gibbs was quiet as he listened to Kate and with each passing second, with each word from the other agent, Gibbs’ frown grew deeper, and deeper, until his entire face was dark and stormy, his eyes clouded with rage.

Just as Tony was about to ask what was going on, Gibbs suddenly got up and strode from the room. The door shut sharply behind him and Tony was alone. He glanced around, wondering if there was some way he could get up and follow Gibbs, but even the slightest movement of his shoulder sent shooting pains down through his collarbone and into his ribcage; and he knew he wasn’t supposed to put any weight on his legs. Frustrated, scared, and feeling suddenly very alone, Tony flopped his head back on his pillow and stared at the ceiling, and let out a quiet sigh.

Outside in the hall, Gibbs squeezed his eyes shut tightly and tried not to growl at Kate.

“Boss I’ve never seen anything like her. She was just here all of the sudden, spewing venom and threatening lawsuits against all of us. She’s saying Tony made it all up and that we staged an unjustified investigation against her son without probable cause. The director finally took her up to his office and called in someone from legal. This is a mess Gibbs. It’s a huge mess.�

Gibbs took a breath and somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice told him to count to three before he spoke. Kate wasn’t the problem; she didn’t deserve his fury…

“Kate I need you to have the director call me as soon as he’s available,� Gibbs forced out through gritted teeth.

He snapped the phone shut and slapped his hand against the wall, being careful not to punch a hole in it, nor bust any knuckles. Gibbs knew Tony would pick up on that immediately. He put his hand on Tony’s door and just before he opened it his cell phone rang.

“Gibbs it’s Morrow,� the director said without preamble. “We have a problem.�

“I already heard from Kate,� Gibbs said. “What do we do about it? Does she have grounds for a suit?�

“No. And even if she did, we’ve got medical records to back up DiNozzo’s injuries, proof of residency for both DiNozzo and O’Sullivan, and I’ve got the vacation log as well. Tony’s covered Jethro. But this bastard’s mama is out for blood. It could get ugly.�

“I’m not leaving Tony alone,� Gibbs said. “Every time I leave him something happens. I’m not leaving him again.�

“A wise plan. I’ll keep you posted and you do likewise.�

“Will do, sir.�

“Jethro…how is he doing?�

Gibbs paused. Tony’d been really quiet the last two days and Gibbs wasn’t entirely sure if it was because of his jaw or because of Declan or the situation or what--but he hadn’t been himself. “It’s hard to say,� Gibbs said softly. “He’s been really quiet--too quiet. I think it’s bothering him.�

“Well I can’t think of a better place for him to be than with you,� the director said. “Take care of your boy. I’m heading up there now. We need to go over the evidence together. I’ve got something that may prove interesting to show you both.�

“Thank you sir,� Gibbs said softly and hung up.

Gibbs quietly stepped back into Tony’s room and frowned at the image the younger man presented. He was the portrait of misery, his head back listlessly on the pillow, eyes closed, and a deep frown on his face. The older man stared sadly down at his partner before leaning over and kissing him softly.

“I love you,� he whispered.

A ghost of a smile crept across Tony’s face and he cracked one eye open. “I love you too,� he murmured. “Why all the secrets?�

“No secrets Tony. I knew you were trying to rest and didn’t want to disturb you,� Gibbs said, knowing he was lying, and knowing Tony knew it.

“Declan’s mother showed up at NCIS to collect Declan’s body,� Gibbs said quietly. “She’s pretty upset.�

“I’d imagine so,� Tony said softly. “She was always kind of a loose cannon. Bet she caused a scene didn’t she?�

“You’ve met her?�

At Tony’s silent nod, Gibbs raised one eyebrow.

“First summer after I started dating Declan I went home with him for the summer. She’s…intense,� Tony said quietly, eyes on his lap.

“Does she know how Declan treated you?�

Tony didn’t respond for a moment then shook his head. “No,� he whispered. “She could never see it. Said the bruises looked like I’d just been clumsy, and her Declan would never do anything like that.� Tony stretched out the words to exaggerate them and spoke in a quiet falsetto. “She gonna take him back to Ohio?�

Gibbs nodded. “Wants to give him a proper burial.�

Tony nodded. “Good,� he said softly. “He deserves that.�

Gibbs’ face was unreadable and Tony was too tired to try to figure it out. “What,� he asked.

“Why does he deserve that?�

“Oh c’mon Gibbs, everyone deserves a decent funeral and burial,� Tony said. “Even if you’re going straight to hell, everyone deserves a proper sending off! Besides…he already had the plot and everything.�

“He bought himself a burial plot?�

“Well…he bought a burial plot,� Tony said softly, his eyes on his lap again. “Don’t know if he intended it for himself or not.�

The implication of Tony’s words hit Gibbs hard and it felt like he’d been dealt a physical blow. Tony looked shocked at his own words and blinked in surprise and let out a soft gasp. Gibbs sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Tony close, wrapping his arms around the younger man and breathing in his scent.

“It’s alright now,� Gibbs soothed before the panic attack could take hold. “He can’t hurt you anymore babe. You’re safe now.�

A soft knock at the door drew both men’s attention and a dark haired woman came in unannounced.

“Who the hell are--�

“Quiet,� she snapped.

“Caroline,� Tony said with a resigned sigh. “How nice to see you.�

“You sniveling little slut. All these years you did nothing but cause Declan grief and now he’s not even in the grave yet and you’re already shacking up with another man?� She sniffed with disgust. “I might have known.�

“Now wait just one fucking minute,� Gibbs snapped. “Who the hell do you think you are barging into a hospital room and insulting my agent?�

“So you fuck your subordinates? That’s interesting Agent Gibbs. Do you do this with all of them or just a select few,� she said. Her voice was raw and her words implied trouble was to come from this.

“That’s none of your business. I wanna know who the hell you are!�

“Gibbs, Jesus, stop. This is Caroline O’Sullivan. Declan’s mother.�

“Oh so you do remember his name? I thought maybe you’d forgotten it. You do know you’re insulting the memory of his love for you by your actions?�

Tony snorted. “If he loved me he had a funny way of showing it,� he snapped.

“He loved you,� she growled angrily. Her eyes flashed with fury and her face colored with rage. “You were always so terrible! Oh why couldn’t you just listen to him? All he wanted was to love you!�

“No Caroline. All he wanted was to hurt me. To control me. To run my life. He forced me to move, made me quit my job anytime he screwed up and left too much evidence about what he was doing to me. I ran away from him to move to DC but he followed me. Do you know how many times I’ve been hospitalized in the last ten years? Do you know how many times your son has tried to kill me? DO YOU EVEN FUCKING CARE?!�

Tony broke off, breathing hard, his face red with anger and his eyes flashing.

Gibbs inserted himself between the two. “It’s time for you to leave,� he said. “Tony’s taken enough abuse from your son. He doesn’t need to take anymore from your family. Leave him alone or I’ll bring up charges of harassment.�

She stood defiantly, chin raised and a sneering smirk on her lips. The door opened behind her and Director Morrow’s eyebrows shot up when he saw who the guest in the room was.

“Mrs. O’Sullivan?�

She whipped around and glared at the NCIS Director. “What are you doing here?!�

“I came to check on my agent,� he said. “But since you are here I can show you this information as well.�

“What information?�

While Director Morrow opened his briefcase and pulled out his laptop, Gibbs moved back to Tony’s side and sat on the edge of the bed. Morrow carefully inserted a disc into it and pulled up the video on it. “Now if you’ll all watch closely, Tony, I think you and Gibbs may recognize the images you are about to see.�

Tony turned his face away the instant he recognized himself on the video. He’d forgotten about the tiny security cameras that had been set up for video feed around Ducky’s house as part of his protection. He buried his face in Gibbs’ side. He couldn’t bear to watch Declan die again. The first time had been bad enough.

Gibbs watched with barely restrained fury as Declan grabbed Tony from behind and threatened him with the needle. It was the first time he’d witnessed those events. He’d heard Tony quietly give his statement the day before, but to see it…Gibbs fought the urge to shudder.

He heard a gasp and spared a glimpse at Mrs. O’Sullivan as she witnessed her son’s last moments. She watched as Tony struggled to avoid the needle, and then the knife, and finally the gun, all of them wielded by her son. She sighed softly when Declan shot Balboa and when he hit Tony in the jaw with the butt of the gun. She covered her mouth with her hand when she heard the voices of Gibbs and Balboa as they asked him to stop struggling, drop his weapons, and surrender, and she watched as her son refused.

Caroline watched her precious son--her only son--raise the gun towards the agents again and saw Tony dive on him to knock the shot wild. She watched the final struggle between Tony and Declan in horror, and she watched as Declan died after he’d been shot during the struggle.

She saw the devastation on Tony’s face and glanced at him now, only to see him still buried in Gibbs’ side, unable to look at the horror on the small screen. The last thing she saw was Gibbs moving over to Tony and Declan, pulling Tony off of him, and checking Declan’s pulse…Caroline O’Sullivan covered her eyes with her hands. How had it come to this?

“Oh my God,� she whispered. “Oh my…what was wrong with him? Why would he do those things?�

“It’s all he knew how to do,� Tony said softly, lifting his face from Gibbs’ shirt.

“What! What do you mean,� she snapped at him. Tony didn’t even flinch; he realized that her reaction now was likely more from shock and horror than resentment towards him. At least he hoped so.

“Your husband…how many years has he been beating on you?� Tony looked evenly at her and watched as she immediately tried to provide some smoke and mirrors.

“He hasn’t ever laid a hand on me!�

“No? Then how many years did he beat Declan? And you. You controlled his every move. He couldn’t wait to get out from under you.�

“It wasn’t like that,� Caroline whispered, taken aback by what Tony was saying. “Declan was always getting into trouble he was always…�

“Breaking the rules?�

Gibbs glanced at Tony, recalling one of the nights when Tony had been delirious with pain and mumbling about breaking the rules. He squeezed his hand gently.

“I tried to get him to listen. He always made his father so angry…I just wanted him to not get into so much trouble,� Caroline said softly.

“Well he learned everything you and his father taught him. He…he had to have total control. He had to have everything go exactly his way…if it didn’t…� Tony grinned sadly, “well then I guess those were the days I was just more clumsy,� he said softly.

Gibbs ran a hand gently over Tony’s shoulders. “I’m tired Jethro,� Tony said softly. “I’d like to go to sleep now.�

Gibbs looked at Morrow and Declan’s mother. “It’s time to go now,� he said softly. “Tony needs to rest. Morrow if you’ve got all the information you need based on the autopsy, I see no reason not to release Mr. O’Sullivan to his mother’s custody for her to accompany it back to Ohio.�

Morrow nodded. “I have no problem with that. Come Mrs. O’Sullivan, if you’ll accompany me back to NCIS we’ll get everything squared away.�

Caroline O’Sullivan nodded silently and grabbed a tissue to wipe several stray tears from her face. She walked to the door and she stopped. Turning back to Tony she sniffed several times trying to get her emotions under control.

“I’m sorry,� she said softly. “Truly. For everything I said and implied about you, and for everything my son did to you. You…you didn’t deserve it. Any of it. I’m sorry.�

Tony nodded. “Goodbye Mrs. O’Sullivan,� he said softly.

Gibbs and Tony watched as the door closed behind the two visitors. Gibbs dropped an arm around Tony’s shoulders again and Tony leaned against him.

“Goddammit,� Tony said softly. He leaned heavily against Gibbs and laid awake for a long time, obviously troubled.

Gibbs figured that pretty much summed it up.

xxx

Calvary Cemetery
Dayton, Ohio
Monday Afternoon

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the life and mourn the death of our Brother Declan O’Sullivan. Oh Loving Savior he drifted from you in life and it is our ardent prayer that you will encompass him in your endless love in the hereafter…�

Caroline and William O’Sullivan stood side by side, sharing an umbrella on the warm rainy day. Caroline lifted a handkerchief to her face and elegantly wiped tears from her eyes.

As the minister spoke, William O’Sullivan’s hands balled into fists. “Dirty bastard,� he muttered. “Killed my son…he killed my boy…hurt him…�

Caroline looked at her husband and shook her head sadly. “No Billy,� she said softly, “Tony didn’t kill Declan.� She watched silently as the coffin was lowered slowly into the grave. “We did.�

Once the casket was lowered, Caroline picked up a handful of dirt and sprinkled it into the grave slowly. Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head sadly. “Rest well my darling,� she whispered. “I am so sorry we did this to you.�

Caroline and William walked away from their son’s grave sadly. Their faces held the strain and wrinkles of their plight--of their years of struggle. Caroline knew, she just knew, that she’d never forgive herself for her son’s death or for Tony’s injuries.

It was all their fault.

TBC...

Chapter 20: Breaking Free

Six Months Later…

“Tony? Babe are you here?� Jethro quietly shut the door behind him and set his briefcase down next to the door. It was just after 4:30pm, early for him to be home. Gibbs had let them off early though; he missed his lover. He needed to check on him.

Tony had taken the day off to go to the final doctor appointments needed to clear him for full active duty. After spending months in physical therapy and counseling, Tony had improved by leaps and bounds.

Some days he didn’t even jump when Jethro came up behind him.

Jethro stepped through the house, not being particularly quiet, and called for Tony again. For a moment his gut twitched and Gibbs wondered if something was wrong. He searched the house thoroughly, the basement, the den, the bedrooms, the porch out back…but Tony wasn’t there.

Convinced that he was missing something, Gibbs pulled out his cell phone. Dialing Tony’s number on the speed dial, Gibbs lifted the phone to his ear and listened.

*Hi you’ve reached Anthony DiNozzo, Very Special Agent with NCIS. I’m unable to take your call; if you’ll leave your name, number, and a message I’ll be glad to call you back. Have a nice day! BEEP!*

“Tony? Babe where are you? Call me and let me know what the doctor said. I love you.�

Gibbs snapped his phone shut and a second later reopened it and hit another speed dial.

“Abby’s labby! What’s up Bossman?�

“Abs trace Tony’s cell for me. I can’t find him.�

“Oooh is he hiding?�

“If he is, he’d better hope I don’t find him.�

“Gimme one second Gibbs and I’ll…oh.�

“What do you mean ‘OH’?!�

“I mean I’m looking at the triangulated coordinates where Tony’s phone is located.�

“And…?�

“And you were right. Tony’d better hope you don’t find him.�

“Just tell me where the hell he is, Abby.�

“You’re not gonna like it Gibbs…�

xxx

Tony drove the rental car through the streets of Dayton, Ohio, making turns as the GPS instructed and following the little mechanical voice that would direct him to his destination. He was due to return to work on Monday, so he had Friday and the weekend off. Well. He’d have Friday off once he called NCIS to let them know he’d be out tomorrow.

*Turn left in. 100 yards.* The mechanical voice said pleasantly, it’s robotic tone was almost soothing to the driver.

Tony put on his turn signal and turned into the cemetery.

Xxx

“How the hell did he manage to get that far away without me knowing it? Good God what time did he fly out?!�

“Um…according to his credit card report, he caught a 1:30 flight,� Abby said.

Gibbs was in the car racing toward the airport. Abby had managed to book Gibbs on a flight to Dayton, but it was going to be close timing. Tony had obviously caught a flight directly after his doctor appointments.

“Gibbs why would he go back there? Declan’s been dead for--�

“Six months Abby,� Gibbs said. “Tony probably needed some closure. He didn’t get to go to the funeral because he was in the hospital. And I told him…Christ I told him he could go to Ohio before he comes back to work if he needed it.�

*Flashback: Six Months Earlier*

“But Jethro--dammit Gibbs! I need to go to the funeral--you know I need to do this!�

“I know you do Tony, but you’re in no shape to fly! You still can’t put any weight on your legs, and your arm is in a sling, and you’re still recovering from a dislocated jaw. Please honey--I know you want to do this, but now isn’t the time. You just aren’t up to the trip.�

“Jethro you don’t understand! He was my…my…� Tony closed his eyes and looked away, shame marking his features. He hated himself for his weakness, for wanting to go to Ohio. “I just need to go,� he whispered.

“And there will be time for you to make the trip to Ohio before you come back to work,� Gibbs said softly, pulling Tony close. “For now though…Tony please…just rest some…get back on your feet. Please?�

Tony nodded silently, but his lips were in a firm line and his eyes were glassy. He turned over on his uninjured side and faced away from Gibbs. He’d stay, but that didn’t mean he’d be happy about it…

*End Flashback*

“Well he didn’t have to go by himself,� Abby was saying into Gibbs’ ear. “He could have taken one--or all--of us with him! He should know by now that he can trust us and that he can ask for help with--�

“Gotta go Abs, I’m at the airport.� Gibbs snapped the phone shut in Abby’s ear, even before she could finish her sentence and he ran across the parking lot. He only had a backpack, so there was nothing for him to check--except his person--so he rushed straight for the security gate, boarding pass in hand.

A short time later, Gibbs was seated on the Boeing 747 and he hoped like hell that he wasn’t too late…he wasn’t sure what he’d be late for, but his gut was churning, and he didn’t like it.

Tony was alone with Declan, and even in death, Gibbs didn’t trust the bastard not to hurt his partner.

xxx

Tony didn’t need to stop at the gatehouse to get directions to his grave. He already knew where it was. He shuddered at the memory as he weaved his way through the roads surrounding the gravesites.

*Flashback: 4 Years Ago*

Declan had a vice-like grip on Tony’s arm as he dragged his partner through the cemetery. It was pouring rain and in the middle of winter with icy temperatures, but Declan was determined to make his point.

“Get over here you worthless sonofabitch,� Declan snapped, pulling Tony roughly towards a particular spot. They’d just moved to Baltimore, and after the debacle in Philadelphia, Declan wanted to make sure Tony understood what would happen to him if he ever got him into trouble with the police again. So he’d decided they needed to make a trip to Dayton.

Tony was wet and cold. He was nursing three broken ribs and had just had two crowns put on teeth that were broken when Tony’s mouth had a sudden impact with Declan’s fist. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he might have an infection on his arm that Declan had “accidentally� sliced with that dirty knife last weekend. He felt achy and feverish--what he wanted more than anything was to crawl in a warm bed…not that Declan let him sleep anywhere other than the floor these days…

Declan shoved Tony down on the wet ground. Tony landed hard on his hands and knees and stared at the muddy grass beneath him.

“Do you know what this is,� Declan sneered in his ear.

Tony shook his head. Declan hadn’t given him permission to speak so he didn’t say anything. He kept his eyes on the ground.

Declan suddenly grabbed Tony by the hair on the back of his head and shoved his face into the ground. “This,� he hissed, “this is where I’m going to bury your no good, worthless, lazy, unfaithful, fat ass when I kill you,� he said. I’m gonna put a wooden plaque over your grave and I’m gonna mark it ‘SLUT’ so everyone who sees it will know what you are for all eternity.�

Tony nodded. He could feel the cold rain running down the tip of his nose, but he still did not speak. The rain mixed well with the tears of pain and hurt streaming down his face, masking them and keeping him out of trouble.

“What do you say to that? What do you say to the person who bought you such a nice plot of dirt to plant your worthless self in? I spent more on this dirt than anyone would pay for a year of sex with your loose, cheating, fat ass.�

Tony shivered in the cold and the rain. “Th-thank you s-sir,� he murmured softly. Tony had no doubts that this spot, right here where he knelt, would be where he’d spend eternity. He figured it could be worse. “It’s a lovely spot, sir,� he whispered.

*End Flashback*

Tony parked his car at the bottom of the hill and sat there for a long time, watching as the rain splattered on the windshield of his rented car. He glanced up the hill towards the spot…he knew it well…it haunted his nightmares nearly every night now. For a moment he thought about driving away. But part of him knew he needed to do this. He needed to see the grave. Needed to see the stone and make peace with the fact that it was Declan in the grave and not him.

Tony had turned off his cell phone as he boarded the plane in DC that afternoon, and he hadn’t bothered to turn it back on. He knew Jethro was probably worried sick, but he just…couldn’t make that call yet. He needed to do this first. He’d call Jethro afterwards and let him know where he was.

Jethro would help him put the pieces of his life back together and make sense of it all.

Tony sat in the car for a long time.

xxx

It was after dark when Gibbs stepped out of the terminal and hailed a cab.

“Where ya headin’ pal,� the cabbie asked. He chomped loudly on a string of beef jerky and slurped on a soda from a fast food restaurant.

“Calvary Cemetery,� Gibbs said. “And I’ll double your fare if you can get me there in ten minutes or less.�

“Hold on man,� the cabbie said. “I’ll have ya there in seven and a half.�

In the back seat, Gibbs smiled. Hold on Tones, he thought to himself. I’m comin’ babe.

xxx

Tony didn’t know how long he sat in the car, but it was after dark when he finally worked up the nerve to approach Declan’s grave. He was surprised as how steady his gait was as he made his way slowly up the hill. In the rain, his joints still ached, and Dr. Corkran told him there was the possibility that he would always ache in the adverse weather.

“Guess that just gives me something to remember you by,� Tony muttered as he finally approached the grave.

There were nice flowers on the base of the stone and the grass was well trimmed and neat around it. Tony looked around at the other graves nearby and could see that they were not all in this condition. No, this must be the work of Declan’s mother and father. They doted on their son in life (not that he would let them) so it was not surprising that they doted on him now, even in death.

He thought about kneeling on the grave, to feel closer to him, but stopped himself. He was tired and thought briefly about sitting on the ground with his back against the large headstone, but decided that wasn’t a good idea either. In the end, he found himself standing at the foot of the grave, hands balled into tight fists, and his eyes staring hard at the letters inscribed on the stone there.

“Beloved Son.�

“Devoted Friend.�

Tony took a deep breath and looked around. He shivered as the rain ran down the back of his neck beneath his collar.

“Just so you know,� he whispered, almost conversationally into the growing darkness, “I never intended to kill you. And even despite all of the evil shit you did to me, there was still a small part of me that loved you. I couldn’t let you hurt Gibbs though. He’s my partner and I have his six always; even when it was against you. You hurt me for years, Declan. You beat me and burned me and tortured me. You belittled me and made me believe that I deserved everything you did. I didn’t care that you might hurt me, that you wanted to kill me for protecting Gibbs. I love him, and I would die to keep him safe.�

A quiet sound behind him had Tony spinning, his hand drawing his gun before he even realized he was on the move. “Who’s there? Come out!�

“Put the gun down Tony.�

“Jesus Gibbs! What the hell are you doing here? You scared the shit outta me!�

“I could ask you the same question. Why didn’t you answer your phone? I called you. Abby called you. Many, many times.�

Tony always felt like a cat lounging in a ray of warm sunshine when Gibbs looked at him. The older man was carefully checking him over, looking for any injuries--physical and emotional, and just checking him over in general. There was warmth in Gibbs’ intense gaze. Love.

“I had to come Gibbs. I had to. Before I go back on active duty. I had to let this go,� Tony said softly.

“And you couldn’t have just told me that? I was worried Tony. I thought something had happened.�

“I’m sorry I made you worry,� Tony said softly, a quiet desperation in his voice. “I just…I was afraid you wouldn’t let me come.�

Gibbs stepped closer and Tony reholstered his gun. “It’s alright Tony. I’m not angry,� he said softly. “And you know I don’t tell you where you can and can’t go unless I think it will honestly affect your health. You’re your own person; you get to do what you want when you want.� Tony nodded and turned back to the grave behind him.

“You can’t feel guilty about this,� Gibbs told Tony softly, resting a gentle hand cautiously on Tony’s shoulder. Tony was soaked and Gibbs could feel the light tremors and shivers just beneath the surface. He wondered how long Tony had been standing in the driving rain and he knew he needed to get them inside sooner rather than later.

“I don’t feel guilty,� Tony whispered. “I did what I had to do.�

“What do you mean Tony?�

Tony turned and stared at Gibbs. He kissed him softly. “I couldn’t let him hurt…� he broke off with a small shudder. “I love you,� he whispered. “I love you so much.� Tony wrapped his arms around Gibbs in a desperate hug.

Gibbs returned the embrace. “I love you too Sweetheart,� Gibbs murmured in his ear. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. Let’s go find a hotel.�

Tony nodded and Gibbs began to lead him away. He suddenly stopped and turned around, looking at the grave one last time. Tony slowly walked back up to it and stopped. Gibbs rejoined him at his side.

“He was going to bury me here,� Tony said. His knees felt suddenly wobbly and Gibbs wrapped an arm around his waist to hold him up, wondering again how long he’d been here and now curious about the last time his partner had eaten. “He told me he would bury me here.�

“He’s not going to bury you anywhere,� Gibbs reassured him. “He’s gone and you’re safe now. No one will ever hurt you like that again. I won’t let them.� Anger burned just below the surface, and Gibbs fought to keep it down, knowing that Tony would misinterpret its direction.

“Have a good sleep Declan,� Tony whispered. “I’ll see you in hell, you bastard.�

“No Tony,� Gibbs’ voice was soft in his ear. “No you won’t. Let’s go. Let him rest in peace now. Come on. It’s time to move on.�

This time Tony let Gibbs lead him away, and neither man looked back.

Xxx

Gibbs ushered Tony into the hotel room at the chain resort he’d found. It was one he was familiar with, one known for its comfort and quality. He knew that Tony would have a comfortable bed and a relaxing shower here. Tomorrow they would make a plan, but for tonight they only needed to clean up and sleep.

“You wanna go get cleaned up?�

Tony nodded but didn’t move. He was standing in the middle of the room, his shoulders were hunched, and he looked absolutely lost. Gibbs smiled sadly and moved to help him.

“Come on Tony. Get a shower,� he said softly, moving his lover toward the bathroom.

Suddenly Tony wrapped his arms around Gibbs’ neck and buried his face against his neck.

“It’s alright Tony,� Gibbs soothed gently when he felt Tony trembling against him. He rubbed his hands up and down Tony’s back. “I got you. Let’s get you cleaned up and then you can rest alright? Things will be better tomorrow.�

“Thank you,� Tony whispered. His words were muffled against Gibbs’ skin, but the older man heard them.

“Don’t thank me Tony,� Gibbs said. “I didn’t do anything.� He’d had his own fair share of guilt to deal with given this situation. He hadn’t shot Declan; he hadn’t protected his lover. He’d failed him.

Tony let Gibbs lead him into the shower and the older man left his partner alone to get clean and warm in the shower. Knowing that Tony would take a while in the shower, Gibbs took the towels and walked them down the hall to the laundry facilities. He put a quarter in the dryer and put the towels inside to warm them up.

Once he got back to the room, Gibbs put the now warmed towels on the counter in the bathroom and left Tony to his shower. Gibbs sank down onto the bed, folded his hands over his stomach, and closed his eyes. He knew Tony was…conflicted, about the events surrounding Declan O’Sullivan’s death. He understood it, respected it, but he wished he could help Tony move on from it. There had been a period of days directly following Tony’s release from the hospital when Gibbs feared his lover might not bounce back from Declan’s death.

*Flashback: Six Months Ago*

Thanks to the diligence of his team, and the leadership of Director Tom Morrow, Tony and Gibbs were able to return to Gibbs’ house by the time Tony was released from the hospital. Gibbs helped Tony from the car to the house, both of them silently remembering the last time they’d done this same thing.

“Do you want to go to the guest room?� Gibbs’ voice was toned low. He knew Tony was tired and hurting, and he didn’t want to do anything to make that worse.

Tony nodded his head from the wheelchair, his teeth worrying his bottom lip, his good hand fidgeting with the strap on the sling. Gibbs stopped the chair and walked around to Tony’s front and knelt before him.

“Talk to me babe,� Gibbs pleaded. “Don’t shut me out. I know this is hard for you.�

“I’m fine,� Tony said softly, his eyes never leaving his lap. “It’s over now. I’m ok. I just want to lie down.�

Gibbs knew that with all of the aggravated injuries Tony had he was likely in pain, but he also knew that this emotional pain he was experiencing could be just as excruciating as anything physically injured.

Gibbs slowly pushed Tony to the guest room. Neither of them wanted to sleep in there, but there was new furniture, new carpet, new paint and a new bed with new pillows just waiting to be broken in…he paused briefly in the doorway of the room, both to look at the new furnishings and to gauge Tony’s reaction to this room that was the setting for one of the most poignant memories of the past few days. Tony couldn’t make it up the stairs, and though he was willing, Gibbs didn’t think he’d be able to carry Tony all the way up the stairs without hurting one or both of them. He vowed they’d make the best of the situation, and they’d survive the violated room together.

He helped Tony into bed and before he could say anything or help him in any way, Tony had turned over with his back to him and pulled the covers up so high they nearly covered his whole body--including his head. Gibbs didn’t ask if Tony wanted to be alone. He knew that he probably needed that right now, so he patted the blanket-clad form and told him he’d be back in a few minutes. Tony didn’t respond, and when Gibbs returned to the room--sooner than he planned--some five or ten minutes later, he was surprised to find Tony sound asleep.

Over the next few days, Gibbs grew more and more concerned as Tony refused to leave the bed, refused to eat, refused to talk. He just refused everything--not rudely, but firmly. Gibbs was at his wits end. He wanted to help his lover--he needed to help him; but he didn’t know what to do.

*End Flashback*

xxx

Tony shut off the shower and pushed back the curtain with a relaxed sigh. There was something so soothing, so relaxing, so comfortable about a hotel shower with good water pressure…sometimes Tony thought it was maybe one of his favorite things. He smiled when he picked up the warmed towel; Gibbs was always thinking of ways to take care of him. Little things that Tony thought most people wouldn’t even notice, but after where he’d come from…any kind of nice gesture or thoughtful act was enough to render Tony into a mild state of shock and awe.

He looked in the mirror and frowned. His body bore so many scars. Some of them were from his career, first as a police officer, and later as a federal agent. But most of his scars were from his relationship with Declan. Tony ran a hand over his scruffy jaw, feeling how the bones were set straight now, even though he only saw a crooked nose and jaw when he looked at himself. He ran his hands over the burn marks from Declan’s chocolate sauce and shook his head.

Why had he stayed so long? Why hadn’t he tried to leave?

The answer, Tony knew, was sitting in the hotel room waiting for him. Without Gibbs…Tony shuddered. Without Gibbs, he’d be lying dead in the grave he’d just left, a little wooden sign declaring his name to be Slut instead of Anthony DiNozzo Jr. Without Gibbs he never would have felt safe enough to try to leave. Without Gibbs he never would have had the guts to stay gone.

Tony rushed from the bathroom so suddenly he surprised both himself and his lover.

“I have to tell you something,� he said urgently. Suddenly nervous, he began fidgeting with his fingers and his eyes drifted to the floor. “If you’re not busy,� he added softly.

“I’m never too busy for you,� Gibbs admonished gently. “Besides. I was just sitting here waiting for you.� He looked meaningfully at Tony. “Everything ok?�

“It’s your…It’s because of you…It’s…Uggh, I’m making a mess of this whole thing,� Tony ran his fingers nervously through his hair and sat down hard on the bed. Gibbs scooted to sit beside him and wrapped a gentle arm around his waist.

“Take your time Tony,� Gibbs said softly. “I’m not going anywhere. Just think about what you want to say and then tell me.�

Christ this man was always so calm! Didn’t Gibbs understand the life changing realization Tony had just come to?

“I realized something. While I was in the shower. Something important. I need to tell you about it.� Tony knew he must sound stupid; he was talking in such short, choppy sentences…but Gibbs merely nodded and looked at him.

“Ok,� the older man said softly. “What’s up?�

“You know how…Jesus why is this so hard? Ok Jethro when you think of Ducky, what image comes to mind?�

Gibbs raised his eyebrow at Tony’s odd question, but gave it serious consideration. “I think of someone wise, someone who has all the wisdom of the world and can share it with me. I picture him as both a teacher, and a friend.�

Tony nodded and let out a long breath. “What image do you get when you think of me?�

He watched with something akin to a mix of fear and delight as Gibbs’ ears tinged a pretty shade of pink and his gaze dropped to his lap. “I see the other half of my soul. I’m complete in a way I haven’t been since…since Shannon,� Gibbs said softly. Catching on to where Tony was going with this train of thought Gibbs looked up at Tony. “What do you see when you think of me?�

Now it was Tony’s turn to blush. “I um…I see…have you ever seen those suits of armor Gibbs?�

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at him and nodded slowly. “Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. What about them?�

“Do you know why people used to wear them?�

“I would imagine they wore them for protection, Tony,� Gibbs said softly.

Tony nodded. He was screwing this up again. Just spit it out, he chastised himself. “I um…I kind of picture you, in one of those suits, riding a white horse,� he said softly, his voice cracking.

“When you think of me,� Gibbs clarified.

“Yes,� Tony whispered. “No,� he corrected, then paused. “I’m sorry, that’s stupid isn’t it? I’m sorry Jethro. I’m making a mess of this! That’s not how I meant it…What I meant is…what I’m trying to say…I just…I don’t know how to put it--�

Gibbs put a finger over Tony’s lips. “Think. Breathe. Talk.�

Tony was quiet for a moment, then nodded. “When people put on those suits they became stronger than they were without them. Almost impenetrable. People didn’t want to mess with them because they knew there was a likely chance they’d lose.�

“Makes sense,� Gibbs said.

“And everyone talks about the hero, the knight in shining armor.�

Gibbs nodded. Tony took a deep breath.

“Before I met you…before you knew me, really knew me, I felt like I was in a ring fight with no armor on. People were handing me sticks and swords and weapons to fight my opponent, but without the protection I couldn’t win. I had no hope of winning.�

Gibbs remained quiet, his gaze on Tony, and listened. Tony clenched his hands into fists when he realized they were shaking.

“And then you came along. And you and I didn’t really fit together right at first--we both had to adjust to each other. You had to learn to bend around me and I had to learn to let you into all of the tight fitting, uncomfortable spots.�

Tony felt Gibbs’ arm tighten around his waist just slightly and he smiled shyly at his lover.

“I’m stronger with you than I could ever hope to be without you,� he said softly, and to his horror tears filled his eyes and his voice cracked. He looked up at Gibbs as the tears fell from his eyes and he saw the love in the other man’s gaze. He saw the trust and the concern and the warmth that filled him each day and comforted him through each night.

“I was scared to try you on,� Tony said finally, resorting to the analogy he’d been trying to make sense of since he started this conversation. “I was scared we wouldn’t fit, or worse, that you’d think me too much of a risk or too dangerous to stick with. But you never gave up on me. You covered me, you protected me; you’re just as battered as I am because of all of this mess. And yet you’ve never left me since that first day I called you.�

Gibbs nodded silently, remembering the day Tony had called him from where he was hiding behind his dumpster, bleeding, broken and begging for help.

“I couldn’t leave you alone. I was so scared something had happened to you,� Gibbs said softly.

“I never would have been able to break free from Declan without you, Jethro. He would have uprooted me, dragged me away, and I’d still be stuck in that same hell--that same ring fight--that I’ve been in for ten years. But you covered me--you made me into an impenetrable silver knight. You protected me, loved me, became part of me…Jethro you don’t understand…that’s so huge for me!�

The arm around him tightened again, and Tony leaned his head against Gibbs’ shoulder.

“I beat the biggest thing in my life. I broke free from my abusive past; I’m walking away from it a little more each day. You saved me Gibbs.�

Two tears dripped from the older man’s blue eyes. “No Tony,� he said softly. “I didn’t save you. I didn’t take the shot. I didn’t protect you. I’m so sorry.�

“I would have hated you if you had killed him,� Tony declared softly. At Gibbs’ surprised look, Tony blushed slightly. “I knew it needed to be me. I needed to prove to myself that I was strong enough to make that choice. That I was strong enough to stand up to the scariest thing in my world and defend the people I love. I love you; I couldn’t let him hurt you.�

Gibbs leaned over and kissed Tony softly, but passionately. “I love you too, Sweetheart. I love you so much,� he said quietly.

Tony smiled. “We should maybe sleep,� he said, forcing down a yawn.

“Yep, we should. Let’s go to bed Tony. We’ve got all day tomorrow to figure out what happens next.�

“On your six, Boss,� Tony said, climbing into bed with Gibbs and turning off the lamp. He snuggled in close and rested his head on Gibbs’ shoulder, and smiled when he felt Gibbs’ arm wrap around his back. It didn’t take long at all for Tony’s body to relax in sleep, snuggled up with Gibbs.

In the darkness, Gibbs smiled. With the image of himself, and now, very strong Tony, both wrapped in silver armor and guarding each other’s sixes, he knew there was nothing in the world that could ever touch them.

It was that reassuring thought that accompanied Gibbs into a very restful sleep, indeed.

The End.