Gibbs woke up in a room half-bright with sunlight and the busy quiet that comes from machines beeping and chirping steadily in monitor mode. He hated hospitals and hated the shaky feeling that emanated from different parts of his body. He opened his eyes and noted the IV’s, as well as the visitor who sat dozing beside his bed. He cleared his throat and Tony opened his eyes. DiNozzo smiled sleepily at Gibbs before getting up and coming to stand beside Jethro’s bed.

"Hey Boss, glad to see you awake. The doctors said you should wake up around this time, but we were still worried. Let me get them and then call Ducky."

He watched Tony use his phone and noted the bruise on Tony’s lower lip, as well as the black eye. Tony murmured into the phone and then hung up. DiNozzo met Gibbs’ eyes for a moment before nervously looking away. The younger man held up a cup of water to silently ask Gibbs if he wanted some.

Jethro sipped at the cold water through a straw and then demanded in an even tone to know what happened.

"We tracked down the drug suppliers after they kidnapped you and got both of them. We didn’t know until later that they’d slipped you something and we got you here as soon as we could."

Jethro nodded, details hazy in his head of what happened after his rescue. He’d had no clue they’d drugged him either.

"What did they drug me with?" The ex Marine raised an eyebrow at the red tint to Tony’s face.

"Some designer drug that combined the effects of ecstasy and ummm…vi…" Jethro cocked his head at the mumbled last words. "Come again, Tony?"

At those words, Tony turned even redder and coughed before looking around the room.

"Viagra. The drug was designed to simulate the effects of Viagra with some GHB added in for fun."

Jethro almost smiled at the fast way Tony got everything out. "So I got a little touchy feely, did I?" He raised both of his eyebrows suggestively at Tony, causing DiNozzo to get that nervous look again. He and Tony were in an intimate relationship that while fairly new, was something they both seemed comfortable with. The fact that Tony was acting strange made Jethro concentrate harder to remember what happened.

A nurse came in and Gibbs waited while she checked his blood pressure and asked him a few questions. After she left, he asked Tony a question.

"Did I come on to someone else besides you? If I did, you know it wasn’t intentional, right?"

Tony tucked his hands halfway into the pockets of his pants. "No, no, it was me. It just took me by surprise is all."

Suddenly Jethro got an image in his head of Tony on the phone dodging him and then the back of his hand colliding with Tony’s mouth. He rubbed his forehead.

"I gave you those bruises, didn’t I?"

There was a moment of silence and Gibbs knew Tony was considering lying, then decided to tell the truth.

"Not on purpose! You were aiming for the phone, missed, and caught my lip. Not a problem."

Jethro put both hands on his head, images now pouring in too fast for him to process them completely. They were telling him he had a big problem. The images flashed and wavered as if he were watching a movie. Gibbs had a close up view of himself practically tearing Tony’s clothes off, of kissing and touching the younger man roughly before arranging him on his hands and knees and fucking him.

Jethro tried to swallow and speak but couldn’t. He tried to delve deeper into the memory, to see if Tony had said no, and he’d ignored him. God, Gibbs hoped not. From what he was getting, Tony hadn’t said no but he couldn’t trust his memory because right now it was showing him ways he’d touched and used Tony like the older man never had before.

"Did I force you?" Again Jethro got a pause and opened his eyes to look at Tony, who looked shocked.

"What? No! No, it wasn’t like that, Jethro. I swear if I had wanted to get away from you, I could have." Jethro looked at him, unconvinced and Tony rolled his eyes. "Yes I know you’re a big bad Marine and you know 25 ways to kill someone with your pinky but I could have gotten away." He turned to look out the window.

"You took me by surprise, sure, but I was into it. Don’t think that you did anything I didn’t want you to do."

"Are you sure, Tony? If I hurt you, I want to know. Did you get checked out?"

"I wouldn’t lie about something like that. And no, I didn’t get checked out. It’s no one’s business what happened."

Jethro narrowed his eyes. "So you didn’t put that in the report? I also notice you failed to say I didn’t hurt you." He swallowed again. "Are you bleeding?"

Tony turned red and shrugged. "No, not really. There are a few scratch marks on my back and a bite that’s more than surface deep."

"Have Ducky look at them when he gets here. He won’t say anything, if that’s what you’re worried about, but they probably do need attention."

"Okay, I will." Jethro watched Tony step closer and didn’t shrug off the hand that touched his arm.

"I’ll tell you everything that happened if you want. If I’m hesitating, Boss, it’s just because I’m still trying to process it all. It was very different than anything we’d done before but it wasn’t a bad different. You have nothing to worry about."

Before, he could continue, Ducky walked in. Jethro saw him look at their closeness and their hands. He and Ducky had not talked about him and Tony being together except for a few hints, but he did trust the older man.

He and Ducky talked while Tony left to go grab something to eat.

"That boy was very worried about you, Jethro. I’m happy to know that you’re going to be okay."

Gibbs nodded his head and decided to tell Ducky what little he knew.

"I need you to look Tony over and keep it off the books, if that’s what he wants. He says he’s okay, but DiNozzo’s the type to hide his injuries if he felt it was the right thing to do."

Ducky only stared at him for a long quiet moment before agreeing. Then the medical examiner launched into a tale about witnessing a tribal elder act possessed after, taking a sip of a drink containing a ritual dose of mashed leaves, rotten fruit and live insects. Luckily a doctor came in and broke up the story. A few minutes in Jethro’s company and the man was agreeing that Jethro could go home in the morning.

Tony walked back in with Abby and Kate and they all stood around and joked a few minutes with Jethro before he ordered them back to work. It took a moment, but Jethro managed to have an entire conversation with Tony using only his eyebrows that had Tony sighing and following after Ducky.

Two hours later Tony came back and bought a cup of coffee with him. Jethro drank it and ignored the indulgent look on Tony’s face as the younger man watched him.

"What did Ducky say?"

Jethro waited for his question to be answered and saw the little shiver that went through Tony’s body. He made room so Tony could sit on his hospital bed.

"Nothing much. Gave me some antibiotic cream for my shoulder." When Tony shrugged nervously, Gibbs almost relented and told the other man he didn’t have to say anything, but he couldn’t do that. He had to know what he’d done to Tony. He listened as Tony continued to talk. "He also told me what we discussed would stay between us."

Jethro nodded. "I know. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me everything I did to you?"

"It wasn’t anything bad, Boss. You were just really aggressive and, even though you’re like that at work, you always seemed to try and be more compassionate when we’re on personal time together. This time you were forceful and I really wasn’t expecting that."

"Did you say no and I just ignored you? Is that it, Tony? Did I do some stuff you were uncomfortable with?"

When Tony didn’t speak for a few minutes Jethro’s worries grew. When Tony replied in a low voice, it didn’t reassure him.

"I couldn’t think to say no. It all happened so fast and refusing didn’t even seem to be an option." Tony turned to look at him and Jethro made himself keep eye contact with the other man, whose confused and lost look was making his chest hurt. Gibbs tried to prepare himself for the worst, but how could he do that? How could he continue to work and care about Tony if he’d abused his trust?

"Look, Jethro, sex for me has always been fun, a game. Nothing too serious and no one gets hurt. I flirt a lot and make wild comments, but it’s a harmless part of me. If I ever crossed anyone’s comfort level, I quickly apologized and backed off. When we started, it was exciting and because we work so closely together, it seemed a little dangerous. That made it a big turn on. The first time we actually made it to the bedroom, I could hardly believe it was happening. But there was nothing in our relationship that made me think it was going to be different than any of my other liaisons."

Jethro was speechless, which was a rare thing for him. He shifted on the uncomfortable bed, sat up and patted DiNozzo’s hand in understanding. Gibbs waited for the younger man to continue.

"Last night when you tore my clothes off and fucked me, it was intense. Your personality is forceful already so the drugs in your system just seemed to triple it or something. You didn’t force me."

Gibbs frowned and looked out the window, resisting the urge to interrogate Tony harder. When DiNozzo sighed and gave a small laugh he turned back and looked at the younger man.

Tony rubbed his hand through his own hair and said, "I can tell you don’t believe me. I repeat, I wouldn’t lie about something like that. You just took our sex to another level and it shocked me because I liked it. Really liked it." The younger man cleared his throat and kept talking.

"I didn’t know I could be turned on like that, by having someone just dictate my every move and know, even before I did, what I wanted and needed. You said a lot of stuff too and I think that may have been a clue that something was wrong, since you don’t talk much during sex."

"What did I say?" If the situation had been lighter he might have laughed out loud at the red that crept up into Tony’s face.

"Um, just stuff about how you liked how I looked when I was about to come. How just seeing me sometimes made you hard. Then you described all this stuff you wanted to do to me, including handcuffing me to the bed for a week, naked and at your complete mercy." Jethro smiled at Tony’s laugh. "At that point your hands were doing all these things and I would have agreed to anything."

Jethro’s entire body stiffened, as Tony looked at him, eyes serious and solemn.

"I’ve never felt that way about someone, that’d I’d do anything they wanted me to. I mean, I knew I’d do anything you wanted me to during office hours but I didn’t think it extended to the bedroom. I didn’t know I could feel you all over me like that and want more, that I’d crave it."

Jethro didn’t need to strain to hear the whispered words that came next.

"I begged you. I begged you to let me come and you did and then you made me want it all over again. I never wanted anything as much as I wanted you to keep making me feel like that." Fingers brushed over his hand and Jethro grabbed them and held on tight.

"I don’t have the experience to deal with something like this. You were drugged, but it felt like I was the one that had narcotics in my system. And now I think about it and wonder if it will be like that from now on; me wanting that intensity and you wanting what we had before."

Jethro didn’t speak but knew there was a mental clock running somewhere and he had a limited amount of time in which to reply. He had kept it very casual with Tony from the beginning of their personal relationship. What he’d really wanted to do would have scared the younger man…or so he thought.

All three of his ex-wives had claimed to want the intensity that was part of him, but eventually they all tried to change him. When that didn’t work, they’d all began to resent how much he wanted to watch over them, how he’d wanted to take care of them. That had led to long silences to hide his confusion and anger.

He couldn’t explain the need that had always been a part of him and the military had only made it stronger. A few nights of drinking after his third divorce made him realize that, while he was attracted to strong women something in his relationship with them was lacking. Actually, he found out this was the same with the few men he’d quietly dated over the years.

He considered his chance with Tony to be his last and he really wanted the younger man to stick around for a long time. He’d tried to be casual and not almost stalk Tony like he wanted. Plus his observations about Tony told him casual was what would be expected, anything that smacked of commitment would have the younger man running away.

Now this had happened. Gibbs hoped he’d get his memories back, right now he had to go on what Tony was telling him. It seemed like the drugs had revealed his true nature. Though he didn’t want to step off a cliff, it looked like he had no choice. But he had to be sure.

He sighed. "So you’re saying that the way I acted didn’t scare you, didn’t make you want to run in the opposite direction?"

"I’m here, aren’t I?"

Jethro nodded and silently cursed his missing memories.

"Then I have to tell you that if I was demanding last night, I can be like that again. I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want to scare you. There have been plenty of times since we started having a personal relationship where I wanted to say or do something, but I thought it would have you break things off very quickly."

Making a decision, Gibbs leaned forward and curled his right hand behind Tony’s neck, pulling him closer and kissing him deeply. Usually they kissed briefly before moving on to other things, but this kiss lasted and Jethro made sure his tongue touched every inch inside of Tony’s mouth. When he broke off the kiss, he pulled a willing Tony closer to whisper in his ear.

"When I get out of here tomorrow, we’ll spend the rest of the day going over a few things."

He waited while Tony eyed him with something like awe, his breath still in panting mode. "Will we be naked during this time?"

Jethro winked. "I think that’s a sure thing."


The End.