Chapter 3: Falling in Love

February 16
I don’t know what to feel or even what I am feeling. I wish I could talk to my mama or dad right now. I miss them more then ever now. Mama wouldn’t be able to believe it, that I am still keeping a Journal for my thoughts. I hated when she assigned a Journal for a writing project when I was ten but now I don’t think I could do without it. Well I guess this is a good place to start my new Journal that Mark bought me last week. This is my first new Journal since mama died and I just couldn’t bring myself to go out and buy one. Thank god for Mark and Mari. I am so lucky to have Mark as an older brother and Mari as my sister-in-law. There sure aren’t a lot of newlyweds that would take in their younger brother and make him feel welcome. While it doesn’t bring back my parents at least I’m not alone in the world.

I ran down to the market for Mari this morning because she wasn’t feeling well. She is having so many problems with this pregnancy but at least she hasn’t miscarried this baby yet. Mark and Mari will be great parents and they want a baby so bad. Well, this morning as I was heading to the store I stopped off to see if Mark wanted anything and to drop off his lunch which he forgot again. I just don’t understand how he can be so organized at work but can’t even remember his lunch or where he put the keys at. At Mark’s office I found him talking to a new Sergeant Jethro Gibbs, who had just been transferred here. I offered or Mark offered for me to show him around base as he is not officially starting until next Monday. Mark said that it would give me something to do as I am vacation and going steer crazy without something to do everyday. We spent all day together with me showing him around and talking. He definitely is addicted to coffee. I found this out after less than an hour of meeting him. He made a comment about the lack of coffee at my brother’s office and I told him that my brother hates coffee. I thought that Jethro who’s first name is Leroy, was going to have a heart attack from the shock. He considers coffee a requirement for life on the same level as breathing. He told me a story of what happened when he had to go without coffee for a whole week when he went camping with his first ex-wife because she forgot to pack it. Either that story was true or he has a wacky sense of humor. He asked me about my vacation and I told him I had just finished high school two weeks ago and was on vacation from school until the end of June when summer classes begin at the college I am going to attend. Today when he made a comment about wouldn’t my parents miss me if I disappeared all day and I told him that they are dead he seemed to feel really bad.

When Mark introduced us something just clicked. It’s not just that he is handsome because he is but it weirdly seemed like I have known him for a long time instead of just meeting him today. He seems like a very intelligent and almost sweet especially for being a marine. I really like him. He is easy to talk to. I am going to meet up with him tomorrow morning again to help him stock up on household essentials and I offered to help him unpack. When I got home earlier Mark and Mari were talking and he told her that they had a situation on their hands. Mark told me that I looked at Jethro exactly like he looked at Mari the day they meet. I told Mark that he was crazy but I do feel a connection. Well we will see what happens; probably nothing will come of it, but maybe.

February 27
I just got back from my third date with Jet. I have only known him for less then two weeks but it feels like I have known him for years. We had a picnic dinner that I made and then went to see a movie in town. It was really nice. As soon as I got to his house the day after we met he asked me out. I of course said yes as soon as I got over my surprise. He told me that he doesn’t usually get involved with his colleagues’ brothers or sisters but he decide to make an exception to that rule. When I came back to change for dinner and take a shower I told my brother that Jethro had asked me out. Mark just gave me a look and told me that he knew that this would happen. I told him that this was just a first date and would not come to anything. Mark just looked at me and laughed. When Jet came to pick me up my brother warned him to be careful, that I was his little brother and that he knew how to hide a body. Jet just said okay and asked if I had to be home at any time in particular. Jet took me out to dinner in town on our first date to my favorite Italian place. After dinner we took a walk along the beach and just talked as we walked along the water. We sat down and watched the sunset on the water. When we were sitting there at one point during a lull in the conversation he just kissed me. It was different then any other kiss I had before. It felt different, not that I have gone around kissing every guy or girl I meet. Last weekend we drove into the city early and spent the whole day there just walking around and taking in all the sights. He was shocked that I had not come into the city exploring yet except to go to the museums but I told him that I mostly stayed in town or on the base. I explained that my brother and I had always lived on bases overseas with our parent when we were kids as our father was a career marine. I was use to living on base and pretty much staying on base the majority of the time.


March 12
Mari is feeling better now and today I went with her to her doctor’s appointment. The doctor says that both her and the baby are healthy and doing fine. Thank god that everything looks fine. I don’t think either Mari or Mark could take it if she lost another baby. It is not fair mama and dad die and at the same time they have had to deal with this. There are babies out there that no one wants and Mari has had four miscarriages in the last three years. Mari had her ultrasound today and the baby is going to be a girl. The baby looked healthy in the ultrasound which helped a bit with the worry. Mari is at 6 ½ months now which is farther then she has been in any of her pregnancies. Last weekend Mark started putting the baby furniture together and I am going to start painting the nursery tomorrow.

Jet and I are still dating. I think that this might just become a serious thing. We have been spending a lot of time together mostly just talking or going for walks around the base and in town. My brother keeps laughing every time I say I’m going out on another date with Jet. When we are not going out to eat we eat with Mark and Mari at the house. Jet was surprised to find out that I was the one cooking most of the time. Jet thinks that I am a great cook as he can’t even boil water without starting a fire. I told him about how my mother and I use to cook together. We use to make meals for all the bachelors in my father’s unit so that they could have some home cooking. At dinner last night Jet was over and the subject of cooking came up again which caused a minor hormonal induced fight. Mark told him that Mari can barely cook and Mari threatened to make Mark cook for a month sense he though that she was such a bad cook. Mark said fine until Mari told him that I couldn’t help cook either then he got nervous and backpedaled. Jet laughed and told me that my family should go on the road with our act. Mark started to tease me about how much Jet is over for dinner and said that we might as well have him move in that he is over so much. It does seem almost like Jet is part of the family.

March 31
Mark, Mari, Jet and I drove into the city for a long weekend. We all stayed at a hotel in the city as a mini vacation, it was a last hurrah before the baby is born for Mark and Mari. Mark and Mari invited Jet as a surprise for me. Mark said he had to invite him because he knew that we couldn’t survive the weekend apart. I told Mark to go to hell before I hugged him and thanked him for inviting Jet. I didn’t even know he was coming until about ten minutes before we left. When he showed up with a suitcase I was glad as I really didn’t want to be apart even if it was only for four days. Mark let us share a room as long as we promised to behave. He told me when we got to the hotel privately that he trusted me to know my limits but to be careful. He knows very well that we are taking is semi slow and that the furthest we have gotten is heavy petting. Sometimes the fact that I talk to my brother about everything is a pain. Mark and I have always been each other’s sounding boards. Even though Mark is over ten years older we have always been closer then a lot of brothers that are closer in age. Last year some guys in his unit made fun of the fact that I was around all the time and called me a dumb kid that should learn to stay with the babies at the playground. Mark told them that I was more mature and smarter than anyone in his unit and them he got them all on shitty details.

Tomorrow me and Jet are going to go to the history museum again, though Jet is doing under force he says. Jet told me he has learned more about history in the last month from me than from all his years in school. I laughed and told him that I have always loved history and mama used it to teach me any subject that she could. That’s one of the benefits to home schooling I told him I could always spend extra time on subjects that I liked. He though that it was a good system when I told him I got out of doing math which I disliked the most, eight months out of the year. I always did it first to get it out of the way as it was too boring. While I can sit there for hours reading a history book more than an hour of math makes me fall asleep. Jet said that he hated history in school because it was all memorizing dates and people. I told him I was spoiled due to my home schooling I was my mother’s only student. Jet asked why my brother wasn’t home schooled and I told him that I was reading at three years old. I did try and go to public school but when my mother put my in 1st grade at five I complained about how stupid everything they made us do and I started to dread school. My parents decided to pull me out and let my mother home school me. Mama always told everyone that I could get all my work done and more as long as she let me do it in my own time. He was surprised to find out that I could read and write in eight languages and speak six languages. He knew that I could speak Italian but not about the others. I think Mark threatened Jet again about behaving this weekend because Jet walked out of their room and into ours with my brother behind him smirking and saying goodnight children.

April 4
I had a lot of fun last weekend. It was also very educational in many ways. Jet told me more about his ex-wife and what happened. His wife was his high school girlfriend and he had gotten married because that was what everyone expected. He got married right after graduation a few weeks before enlisting. His wife didn’t like him being a marine and being gone much of the year. I found out that she had not even bothered to move onto base until they had been married for four years. She lived in their hometown until then and just visited him on base. When she finally moved on base she stayed less then a year before filing for divorce without even telling him. He found out when he was served with the divorce papers. What a bitch. Jet admitted getting married was a mistake. He had not been in love with her; he cared about her a great deal but was never actually in love with her. He seems to feel guilty about it but from what I understand of the situation he did try to hurt her. He just caved in to both their families pressure in them to get married.

Our second night at the hotel Jet and I had a very serious talk about sex and our relationship. I came out and confirmed that I was a virgin, he already suspected it. I told him that I had almost no experience past kissing. I had gone on a few dates in the last year and a half but it had never gone anywhere. I admitted that I was not ready for intercourse yet but did want to go further and start exploring. He promised that we could go at my pace and that he wouldn’t pressure me into anything. He was willing to wait as long as it took for me to be comfortable. I told him that he had been very patient so far. I admitted that it would not be a long time wait before I was comfortable with going all the way but that I still had some fears. We did talk about the fact that this is my first serious relationship.

I told him that I think that I am falling in love with him but it scared me. I was scared because I had already lost my parents and my father’s parents. The only ones I had left were my brother and sister-in-law. I didn’t want to lose anyone else that I love. I am terrified that I will lose Jet. The fear just sits in the pit of my stomach and at times it is almost unbearable. I had told him when we met that my parents were dead but had never actually told him what happened. I told him about how my dad died during a mission overseas that my family was never told the details of what happened. I explained that my mother never really got over his death and dead a year later. The doctors told us that she died due to a brain aneurism but I know that she died of a broken heart. I explained how after my mother’s death I chose to stay with Mark and Mari over going to live with my mother’s parents in Pennsylvania. I explained that my mother’s family had never really forgiven her for marrying my father. They thought that he was beneath her, as she came from a well to do Italian family. They tolerate Mark and me but it’s not comfortable.

Alright I need to get off the sad subjects for awhile, besides going to the museum which Jet did have fun at we went out for a nice dinner the third night. We had dinner at this romantic restaurant that had candles on the tables and music. Jet told my brother his plans before we came and Mark brought a suit for me to wear with. At dinner he gave me an ID bracelet with both our initials on it in a flowing design. After dinner Jet even danced with me knowing how much I like to dance. After we came back to the hotel we did go a little further. We started out just necking but slowly it started to change. We both had our shirts off when he went to unbutton my pants. He stopped before he did and he just stared into my eyes and he made sure that it was okay. He slipped my pants and boxers off at the same time. I went to undo his pants but my hands were trembling too much. He stilled my hands and did it himself. I looked at him and then looked at me. I could hardly breath I was caught between wanting to cover myself up and wanting to go further. Jet told me that I took his breath away and that helped the impulse to want to cover up. Well that along with me telling him that I don’t know what he sees in me as I’m not nearly as good looking as him. He quickly reassured me that I am perfect and that I am extremely good looking much more than him. He moved me on to the bed and started kissing all over me body down. He hovered over my cock and looked up to make sure it was okay. He licked all around the head of my cock before sucking me down. It was the most incredible thing I had ever experienced. I didn’t even last a minute before I came down his throat. I made him lay on his back so that I could explore all of him. I told him it was first time blowing anyone. I kissed the head of his cock which tasted kind of salty. I took as much as his cock into my mouth as I could. I wondered how he swallowed me but when I tried it made me gag. When he came I tried to shallow as much as I could but I didn’t catch it all. I was kind of nervous and asked if that was okay and he quickly told me that it was excellent. When I woke up early the next morning Jet was laying there staring at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world. We slowly started to kiss and he reached down and took me in his hand. He pumped me slowly until I came and then slowly grinds against me until he came while kissing me. We fell asleep without cleaning up which would have been fine but my brother comes in the next morning and has to start making comments about the smell of sex in the room. I had never blushed so hard in my life.