Title: Probie
Author: Ceindreadh
Email: Ceindreadh@eircom.net
Website: n/a
Permission to archive: Yes
Fandom (s): NCIS
Genre (general, hetero or slash) Slash implied
Pairing/Characters: McGee/Tony
Rating: FRT 17
Summary:
Warnings: slash
Notes:
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I'm only borrowing them, but I promise to return them in minty fresh condition when I'm finished.

PROBIE

------

"Hey Probie, do this."

"Hey Probie, over here."

"Hey Probie, go walk in front of me in case there's a mine."

It never stops. Day in, day out, Tony DiNozzo is there, swatting him on the head, calling him Probie. Stealing his lunch. It's just like being back in junior high and the bullies ganging up on him for being the smart kid in the class. Not that they needed to gang up on him, back then it would have only taken one kid to wipe the floor with Tim McGee. But that was before he got picked for the wrestling team in high school. And while it didn't stop the bullies from teasing him, at least they never laid a finger on him again. Not once they'd seen him wipe the floor with the opposition a few times.

McGee had thought that things would be different when he joined NCIS. He thought that here was a place where his intelligence would be something to be respected and not mocked. But that was before he met Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.

"Probie, do this." "Probie, over here." "Probie." "Probie." "Probie."

There were days when McGee just wanted to grab Tony and slam him to the ground and yell at him "DON'T CALL ME PROBIE!"
Of course whenever McGee thought about doing something like that, his thoughts always seemed to wander into the realm of what else he could do with Tony once he'd have him held down on the floor. Such thoughts usually required him to take a cold shower and he tried to avoid having those thoughts while at work. But it wasn't easy, especially on the occasions when he caught a glimpse of Tony's body during their Close Quarters Combat training sessions with Gibbs.

And he knows that Tony is well aware of how good his body is. The guy could brag for his country what with all the talking he does about his dates. Except that McGee has heard it all before. Not the specifics but when people talk as much about sex as Tony does, he knows that in a lot of cases they're what his Granny used to call "All mouth and no trousers". Whereas McGee himself would be a case of "still waters running deep". He doesn't like to brag about such things, feeling that discretion is the better part of valor. But he knows for a fact that Abby was more than happy with the night they spent in her coffin. So much so that she called in sick the next day and insisted that they spend the rest of the day there as well. But he's not one to brag and he asked Abby not to spread it round the office, so as far as Tony is concerned, McGee is just a wet behind the ears Probie who probably wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she stripped naked in front of him.

He knows what he'd do if Tony stripped naked in front of him.

And he certainly knows what he's going to do the next time that Tony calls him Probie.

"PROBIE!"

--

[Part 2 - because you asked for it]

There are days when Tony DiNozzo *loves* his job.

Sure there's always the crappy days when Gibbs is yelling at him and he can't seem to do a single thing right. But then there's the days when everything goes right and he helps figure out the solution to an investigation or he adds a number or two to his little black book or he gets to play a really fun joke on Probie.

Ah yes, Probie. Life has been a lot more fun since McGee joined the team. Sure Tony was a little worried at first. Thoughts went through his mind about McGee taking his place. That little joke from Gibbs last year still burns in his mind. And when McGee was officially added to the team, Tony almost hated him for it. But you couldn't hate the Probie for too long, and while Tony knows that to an outside observer it might look as if he doesn't like McGee, all his jokes and teasing and swats to the head are really just his way of showing affection to the little guy.

Okay, he has to admit that it is kinda fun to be able to pull rank on somebody and get them to do all the dirty work. Like being point man in the middle of an artillery range, which may or may not have been properly cleared by the bomb squad. Or like wading through mud to pick up a piece of evidence which turned out to be just a dead leaf. Tony glances over at McGee as they drive back through the city. McGee isn't saying a word. His nice clean suit isn't quite as clean as it was this morning, and his shoes aren't going to be hitting any dance floors without a *lot* of work. So they're heading back to Probie's apartment for him to get changed before they check in at Headquarters and report back to Gibbs.

Tony wonders why McGee is so quiet. Maybe he's pissed off. Yeah, good one there. McGee doesn't *get* pissed off. He just takes the punishment, the pranks the Probie calling and he gets on with the job. Oh sure he'll sometimes stick up for himself, like when Tony offered him a bite of a sandwich and McGee took it. But then he'd never have done that if Abby hadn't been watching. Guys will do anything to impress a lady, Tony knows, even little Probies like McGee.

"Probie" "Probie" "Probie"

Tony's called McGee that at least a dozen times in the last ten minutes and he can see that McGee is getting annoyed. Or at least as annoyed as McGee ever gets, which really isn't that annoyed. But what Tony doesn't know is that McGee is one of those people who go from okay to majorly pissed off in about five seconds flat. That's why he's so surprised when only a few seconds after they get into McGee's apartment, the Probie suddenly turns on him and slams him up against the wall yelling "DO *NOT* CALL ME PROBIE, AGAIN!"

And at first all Tony can do is laugh mightily at the thought of McGee trying to order him about. So he pushes McGee away from him, only McGee isn't budging and instead Tony gets slammed up against the wall a second time. And now Tony's getting a little pissed off that McGee of all people is trying to push him around. So this time when Tony pushes back, he pushes *hard* and knocks McGee back against the opposite wall. "Lighten up, *Probie*."

Only McGee isn't ready to lighten up and he sort of launches himself at Tony and the next thing Tony knows is that he's flat on his back with McGee on top of him so he does what he does best and rolls over until he's the one on top. What can he say; he likes to be on top. But the only problem is that McGee obviously likes it as well because he doesn't stay put and they keep changing position like that until McGee finally lands on top, knees clenched firmly against Tony's sides, so tight that he knows from previous wrestling experience that he's not gonna get out of *that* position without a fight. And with McGee's hands on Tony's wrists, holding them flat against the carpet, he's not gonna be able to use them either.

Normally if trapped like this, Tony would go with his favorite method of escape, a quick knee to the groin, but McGee's a buddy and a colleague and a fellow man and Tony doesn't really want to have to hurt him. Okay, the fact that McGee has him pinned so solidly that he *can't* knee him in the groin has something to do with Tony's decision to go with Plan B.

So he jerks his head up and kisses McGee on the lips. The logic behind this is that McGee or any other male opponent will be so grossed out by being kissed by a guy that they'll immediately pull away and let go their grip and *that's* when the knee to the groin comes in.

The plan works up to a point...the point where instead of freaking out and letting go, McGee instead captures Tony's mouth with his and not only kisses him back but takes over the whole kissing act until Tony's the one left gasping for breath and pulling away.

And Tony can see a gleam in McGee's as his head thuds back against the carpet and all he can think of to say is "Did you learn that from Abby?"

And McGee just smiles and says "Actually, she learned that from me." There's a brief pause before he adds, "And I also taught her this..." And then one of his hands lets go of Tony's wrist, and moves somewhere that feels a lot more pleasant and Tony is yelping in delight.

And one thing leads to another and clothes are being ripped off bodies and Tony finds himself face down on McGee's bed and McGee on top of him and God, he never knew the Probie had it in him, and next thing he knows the Probie has it in *him*, only he sort of stops half way and he leans in close to Tony and he asks him, "What's my name?" and Tony is wondering what the hell sort of a question is that for anybody to be asking at this sort of time and he snaps back, "Quit talking Probie, just keep going dammit!"
And he's trying to push himself backwards onto McGee, only now McGee has caught him by the wrists again and Tony can't move an inch and McGee is asking again, "What's my name?" and now Tony knows what he's talking about, but he's dammed if he's going to let McGee be on top...mentally speaking that is, so he snaps again, "PROBIE!"

"Wrong answer," and McGee starts nuzzling at the back of Tony's neck. And he lets go of one of Tony's wrists and slides his free hand under Tony's body where it starts squeezing Tony's cock. "What * is * my * name *" and Tony can barely even remember his own name at this stage and he knows that he's not going to get any release until McGee is ready to give it to him and he knows he can't wait any longer because what McGee is doing to him just feels sooo good.
"What's my name?"

"McGee, McGee, MCGEE!!!!"

"Right answer." And it's McGee's name that's on Tony's lips as he comes.

Hours later after Tony has proven to McGee over and over again that he *does* know what his name really is, both men are sprawled sleepily on McGee's bed.

Tony's head is lying pillowed on McGee's chest as the Probie...no, as *Tim* gently runs his fingers through his hair. "So," says Tony. "Is this going to happen every time I call you Probie from here on in?"

McGee's hand moves around to cup Tony's cheek. "I'm not sure Gibbs would approve of me screwing your brains out on top of your desk when we we're supposed to be working."

"And when we're not supposed to be working...Probie?" In all the times that Tony has called McGee that, this is the softest gentlest tone he's ever used.

The kiss that landed on Tony's lips was all the answer he needed. There are days when Tony DiNozzo *definitely* loves his job.

-

The End