I Miss Her by Salem Navy
Summary: After Kate dies, Tony realizes how much he really loves her and how much he is going to miss her.
Categories: DiNozzo/Kate Characters: None
Genre: Episode Related
Pairing: DiNozzo/Kate
Warnings: None
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 1313 Read: 1944 Published: 08/06/2005 Updated: 08/06/2005
Story Notes:
I had to repost this story because I messed it up the first time. Hope you enjoy it!

1. I Miss Her by Salem Navy

I Miss Her by Salem Navy
Author's Notes:
After Kate dies, Tony realizes how much he really loves her and how much he is going to miss her.

The three of them walked solemnly into the bullpen... Abby didn't know. Gibbs wiped his tear stained cheeks as he remembered the look that had flashed across Kate's face. He glanced over at Tony; he was covered in her blood. Right after Kate had been shot, Tony had leaned over and began to sob uncontrollably. Damn Ari. Damn himself for not protecting her.

Gibbs remembered the men who had placed her in the body bag and slowly zipped it up. He was going to call Abby, but he didn't have the heart to tell her over the phone. Kate saved his life and how did he repay her, she died anyway. He hadn't wanted to let her go alone to the morgue or whever they were going to take her, but he didn't want to believe that she was gone. Damn you Ari!

Instead of going over to his desk like he normally would, Tony continued to walk. He made his way over to Kate's desk and slowly pulled out her chair. He ran his fingers over her things: her desk, her keyboard, her picture of the team. He opened up one of the drawers on her desk and looked longingly into the almost empty drawer. The only thing he saw of interest was her sketch pad. He grabbed it and began to flip through it. He saw the picture of Gibbs that she had drawn when Tony bet her twenty bucks that she couldn't capture his eyes. He came up twenty bucks short that day. He saw the picture of Abby with her cute little pigtails and chained necklace. The one he had joked with her about. The one he had told her looked nothing like Abby when really it couldn't have looked more like her. He continued to flip through the book, seeing pages upon pages of team members and victims, then her reached it. He stared intently into his own face. His sunglasses over his eyes, his feet placed firmly upon his desk, slumped back in the chair, a position he was in often.

A tear rolled down his cheek, followed by a few more. Before he knew what was happening, he had his face buried in his hands and was once again crying his eyes out. "Damn Ari!" he screamed. Gibbs and McGee looked over at Tony. Their eyes were puffy and red just like his. "I will kill him. Damn him. I will kill him no matter who is protecting him. If it wasn't for your damn boss..." Tony got up and pushed the chair out of the way. He went to where he stood maybe and inch in front of Gibbs. "If it wasn't for your damn boss, then Kate would be alive! If he had let you go after Ari Haswari. You could have killed him that day at the coffee shop. You should have killed him. For all we know, her death could be your fault!" Tony yelled. He needed someone to blame, someone near him that he could punch if he really wanted to. "Does Abby know yet?" Tony asked, his voice now soft.

"Not yet. Ducky knows, but not Abby. I didn't have the heart to tell her over the phone."

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"Hey Gibbs!" Abby said as he walked into her lab. "Everything cool? Did you catch..." Abby paused as she saw Tony enter with blood splattered all over his clothes and some still on his face. "Tony, oh my God. What happened? You know I had a dream like this. You were covered in blood, but I am not really sure why."

"Abbs, we have something to tell you," Tony whispered. "This isn't my blood."

"Well I sure hope not," Abby tried to continue joking, but then noticed how serious her co-workers were. "What happened Tony? Where's Kate?" Panic showed in her voice. Please God no.

"She's dead," Tony cried. Tears once again began to fall down his cheeks and he sank to his knees on the floor.

"No," Abby said. "She can't be. Please tell me you are lying."

"I'm sorry Abbs," Gibbs said, speaking up. "They took her away in a body bag."

"No!" Abby screamed. " This isn't fair! People can't just die like that. Kate and I had plans this weekend. She can't just walk out on them!" Abby continued to yell as she too, dropped to her knees. She pulled herself into the fetal position and began to rock back and forth. Tony moved closer to her and he held her in his arms. "She was my best friend. I loved her so much."

"I loved her too, more than she will ever know," Tony whispered.

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Tony lay in his bed that night, unable to fall asleep. He wrapped the covers tighter around him, hoping to warm his chilled body. Never in his life had he felt this cold. Something inside him was empty; he felt hollow. Images of Kate flashed through his mind as he lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He remembered the time that she had asked him if she looked good in that dress. He remembered ruffling her hair, pulling down the sleeves and then winking. Then the image changed to the time she pretented to be pregnant with God knows whos child. She was so good at acting. Maybe throwing that gum had done the trick. Then... he saw her falling. Blood surrounding her beautiful face as her eyes never closed. His heart had dropped and he felt so empty inside. All he knew to do was cry at that moment and that is exactly what he had done... cried.

Now he just lay there, all these thoughts. He wanted them to go away. Maybe if he just forgot that horrible scene on the roof of that building then it would all go away. None of it would be true. Keep dreaming DiNozzo. All that is left of Kate is zipped in a body bag somewhere. He thought of the sound of her parents voices, their screams and cries once they had been told what fate their beloved daughter had reached.

Suddenly, everything changed. Kate was laying there next to him, staring intently into his eyes. He placed a hand on her shoulder and it was really there. It felt warm and soft. He smelled her sweetperfume and noticed just how beautiful she was. "I am not gone Tony," she whispered to him. "I am right here."

"But this is just a dream," Tony replied.

"I will always be in your heart. My soul will live on thanks to you. You know, you are the only man I ever really loved and thanks to that... my soul will never die."

"But that's not good enough. I want the real you. I want to be able to hold you and tell you how I really feel. I want you to slap me in the back of the head again and tell me what a arrogant jerk I am," Tony muttered as a tear trickled down his cheek.

He could see that tears glittering in her eyes as well. This all felt so real. "I know how you really feel about me Tony and I feel the same way about you. Too bad we never took that chance to go after each other; the one that was always there. I love you Tony and just remember... I'll always be with you, in here." Kate pressed her hand against his heart. "Remember me always."

"For always and always," he said through gulps of air. "I love you."

"Goodbye," Kate said, kissing his lips before fading away.

"Don't leave me Kate," Tony mumbled to himself. "I miss you."

End Notes:
I had to repost this story because I messed it up the first time. Hope you enjoy it!
This story archived at http://www.ncisfiction.com/viewstory.php?sid=4934