He is jumping into cold water and forgets how to swim.

How to breathe.

How to be.

-----

She smiles.

-----

There is no other way around this.

But he can’t tell them.

Can’t bring himself to tell.

-----

He strokes his thumb across her cheek.

Why do you do that?

I like how it makes me feel.

Uncertainty flickers in her eyes.

I like myself when I do that. (When you let me do that.)


She knows. And smiles.

-----

Then he is floating.

High and higher.

The world drops away beneath his feet.

And he hits heaven.

-----

A face in the mirror softly whispers his name.

He dares to breathe.

And waits, in anticipation.

-----

He is here. And he is no more drowning than he is floating.

He just is.

And he doesn’t want this.


But he can’t tell.

-----

She smiles.

Uncertainty clings to his lashes.

Words flow through his veins

in hope

to find memories of

love
comfort
joy


her?

-----

They used to fight with words but love their battles.

And he can’t take this.

Can’t cope with her absence when all he wants is her presence.


How could he?

-----

The wind catches stray thoughts of her smile

that’s gone before it’s even there.

-----

It’s something like this, isn’t it?

To fall in love - to be invisible to the world around you while it rotates.

To vanish with one person while around everyone.

To be stuck in the moment.


And that’s where he finds himself.

-----

He doesn’t have to say it out loud.

(I love you.)

He knows.

He knows that she knows.

That’s all there is to it.

-----

She smiles.

He doesn’t see.

-----

What are you doing here?

He doesn’t know.

-----

When are you going to tell them?

He won’t find the answer.

-----

But perhaps, they already know.




End