"My father left me in the Maui Hilton for two days and didn't even realize I was missing until he got the room service bill."

Tony said it lightly, in an easy manner so no one would see the pain of the abandoned ten-year old.

He pretended that Ziva's off hand, "Sad, but enlightening," didn't sting as they all moved away on their assigned task.

He shoved aside the childhood memories that had no place in his adult world. The kid needed them now, needed them to find his father. He turned away and went on with his job just like he always did.

~~~~~

Young Tony DiNozzo rose bright and early that Saturday morning. Seeing the sun already shining through his window, he ran breathless into the living room of their suite, hoping that just this once his father would remember he had his son with him, remember his promise that they would go site-seeing together.

Still, he wasn't terribly surprised to find his father had left for the day already...

Again.

At the young age of ten, Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was used to being low on his father's priority list. He reckoned he was somewhere below the checkbook balance and the liquor cabinet.

Tony took it in stride and took care of himself as he had learned to do. He refused to bathe if there was no one there to make him. But at ten, he'd already learned the value of a sweet and charming smile, so he brushed his teeth and changed into a t-shirt and jeans, pushing the despised sailor suites to the back of the drawer. He called room service and ordered all his favorite foods – French Toast and pancakes, bacon, and biscuits and gravy.

After his breakfast, he left the mess for the maid to clean up. Moving to the sofa, he sat and watched movies for most of the day. It was actually a pretty good way to spend the day. If he had been with his dad, he would not have been able to watch whatever he wanted. And they would have eventually arrived at the litany of how young Tony didn't measure up to his father's expectations. At least this way Tony could still pretend to himself that his dad trusted him enough to leave him alone for the day.

It wasn't that different from how he usually spent his days. In Maui he was surrounded by the hotel personnel who answered his calls to room service and took care of him because of his dad's name and credit card. At home he was just as alone, but he was taken care of by maids and the staff hired by his father.

The only difference was at home he wasn't allowed to watch all the movies he wanted, whatever he wanted. He reveled in his freedom, clicking from channel to channel, pausing to watch whenever he came across something interesting.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight! Schlemiel! Schlimazel! Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!"

Click

"And the survey says..."

Click

"Good Morning, Angels..."

Click

"Really, Pa, it was Mary, not me..."

Click

It wasn't until hunger intruded again that he went into his dad's room to try and find out where he had gone. At first Tony was careful not to disturb anything lest he be accused of spying. But he only had to pull out a drawer or two and to look into the closet to quickly figure out that his father was gone. Not just gone-to-a-meeting-and-wouldn't-be-back-until-Tony-was-in-bed gone, but gone. As in all-of-his-clothes-were-gone, along with his suitcase.

Staring in shocked horror, Tony couldn't help it, he sat in the middle of his father's empty room and cried. It wasn't fear that made him cry or even grief that his father could so casually leave him behind without a thought, he was used to that. It was anger that caused the sobs that racked his small frame.

His father had always told him, "DiNozzo's don't cry," so he'd been holding in the anger for years – anger at the neglect, anger that his dad didn't do the things with him that other kid's dads did, anger that there were no hugs or loving touches. He only ever met with a distant disapproval from his father, and he knew now that it was the best he could ever expect.

He cried until he had no more tears left in him. Exhausted he crawled onto his father's immaculately made bed and slept a while. When he woke the room was shrouded in shadow and Tony could hear the sound of the vacuum in the other room.

Swiftly he rose, furiously rubbing at his eyes, hoping he didn't look like a little kid who'd just been on a crying jag. He pocketed the room key his father had left on the desk and went into the living room. The maid started when she saw him.

"Lord have mercy child," she said, "I thought you checked out this morning." She was an older woman, plump and comfortable looking. Her wiry black hair curled in little wringlets around her face and her plump brown face was creased into a permanent smile.

Tony smiled at her shyly, the one that made women want to mother him, "No," he told her, "my dad's just gone on business right now."

She made a small ‘tsking' sound with her tongue, "And he left you here all alone?" She was properly scandalized.

He squared his shoulders, "I can take care of myself," he asserted fiercely. "Although I was... getting kind of hungry."

The maid began winding the cord around the vacuum, "Well then, you just come with me," she told him firmly. "I'm going to take you right down to the kitchen, and get you some dinner."

"I don't want to be any trouble, I'll just call room service," he pointed to the phone.

"You'll do no such thing. A young boy like you shouldn't be eating up here all alone. I can just imagine what you'd eat left to yourself. I have a son your age," she informed him, shaking a reprimanding finger in his face. "And I have to watch him every second or he's having cookies for breakfast and ice cream for dinner."

Then she took him down to the kitchen where they fed him the best hamburger and fries he'd ever had, and finished his meal with a chocolate shake thick with home made vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. The woman, whose name he found out was Mrs. Brown, chattered about her son and life in the hotel, putting him at his ease while he ate. He was replete from the food and the company by the time she took him back to his suite. He was a little disappointed when she gathered her cleaning supplies and left him there alone.

It was truly dark in the room now. For the first time that day fear stirred in Tony. He was alone in a place far from home and he didn't know how he was going to get home. Sure he could call the front desk and tell them that he'd been left behind. But then he would have to admit that his father had forgotten him, left him behind for the next person who used the suite to find, like a forgotten bar of soap or a magazine they'd finished with and didn't want anymore.

He decided he would rather die first.

Tony stood in the dark room with the shadows gathering around him, listening to the sounds of the hotel. There was laughter from someone in the hall and he could hear the ‘creak, creak, creak,' of a squeaky wheel on one of the maid's cleaning carts as she passed in front of the door. There was a thump as someone moved around in the room above him.

Lives were going on around him. No one was aware that a little boy was alone and frightened in a strange place. Would anyone even care if they knew? He thought Mrs. Brown might, but she was just a maid, there was nothing she could do for him.

Then another thought struck him, how long would it take people to realize that he didn't belong, that there was no one in the suite with him?

Then he was seized by the mad inspiration that he could just stay at the hotel and live in his father's suite.

They obviously hadn't noticed at home that he was missing, they might never realize he was missing. He could just stay in the suite in the Maui Hilton, calling for his meals from room service. Maybe sometimes Mrs. Brown would invite him down for meals in the kitchen again, he would like that.

He was excited and intrigued by the idea of a life on his own. He imagined that he would just become a fixture at the hotel and eventually they'd stop asking where his father was because Tony DiNozzo belonged there.

When a tourist asked who he was, the staff would say, "Oh, that's just Tony, he lives here." He grinned thinking about it.

Then his dream came crashing down around him when he realized he'd eventually have to go to school and then there'd be questions. The teachers would want to meet his parents and he'd have to tell them the truth of his existence. Then he'd be taken home like some piece of luggage that had been lost at the airport and miraculously retrieved years later.

Would his parents be glad to see him?

He imagined that his mother would be surprised and might even take a moment from her busy schedule of continually redecorating their home to blink at him and wonder where he'd been. His father on the other hand would reprimand him for not taking the initiative and getting himself home sooner.

Tony imagined that his father would be too busy to come get his wayward son himself, he'd probably send his assistant to retrieve him. He'd done that the day Tony had gotten in trouble at school.

The fight hadn't been his fault, not really, even his teacher agreed with that point. Even so, both boys were dismissed for the day.

Tony watched as the other boy's mom AND dad came to pick him up. They'd scolded him right there in the principal's office, but then they'd hugged him as they left to take him home.

Tony had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the tears from coming. He knew that there would be no real scolding from his parents, but there would also be no hugs.

He wasn't surprised when a stranger arrived to collect him from the school. The assistant had taken him home and left him in the care of the housekeeper. Tony spent the day in his room, sprawled on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

That night Tony sat in his father's study. He watched as his father worked and drank, waiting for some word – disapproval or anger, anything would be better than the heavy silence that hung over the room. At last the man put aside his glass and raised his eyes to his son.

Tony squirmed under the eyes of his father. He saw disappointment in his father's eyes, a desire for a son who was more than Tony. Tony had no real idea what his father wanted from him, he never told him to study harder or to play sports. If he would give Tony some direction, the little boy would have done anything to gain his father's approval. It just seemed that Tony was supposed to know what was required of him and do it. And in not knowing, that was the greatest failure of all.

He didn't speak to his son of his failings or even reprimand him and command him to do better. He just looked at him while Tony sat, trying not to shift under his father's baleful gaze. Until at last, without a word, his father rose and left the room, turning out the light behind him.

Tony sat for a long time in the dark, letting the tears come before he scrubbed his eyes and went to bed.

It felt a lot like that now. His father had left his son behind to get himself home the best way he could.

The shadows around Tony began to take on form. Looming over him in the darkness was his mother and his father, watching him, to see what he was going to do. He began to feel like the darkness was pressing in on him, crushing him.

"What are you going to do, Anthony?" He heard his father ask out of the blackness. "Are you going to cry again?"

Tony stiffened defiantly. He went to the sofa and plopped down on it. Picking up the remote control he pushed the power button. Instantly the room lit up, pushing back the shadows. He turned up the sound as loud as he could, drowning out the sound of his father's voice.

The screen lit up with something in black and white and Tony started to change the channel, the movie was old, he could tell from the strange clothes and the way the people talked. But something about the characters on the screen caught his attention, they were somehow more vibrant than any characters he'd ever seen before.

He became entranced with the story he saw playing out before him. He didn't really understand the love story, but the story of two people struggling to survive an African river and each other kept him entranced until its final credits.

He didn't turn the channel when the movie ended, instead he was amazed when the next feature was in black and white. A child of his time, he didn't even know that a movie could be in black and white. He stayed to watch the western that followed. He fell asleep to the flickering screen.

~~~~~

It was the sound of someone knocking on the door that woke Tony the next morning.

He was curled up on the couch, his cheek pressed into the cushion. He blinked confused at the bright sunshine that streamed through the windows. The television was still on and for a moment he thought the knocking was coming from it. He switched it off and the knocking continued. It was then that he realized that it was someone knocking on the door of his door.

Wildly he glanced around the suite before he remembered that he was alone. His father had left him the day before. He swallowed hard before scrambling off the couch and approaching the door.

What was he going to say if it was someone looking for his dad? What was he going to say if it was someone demanding to know why he was still in the suite by himself?

He took a deep breath before opening the door. He was surprised to find someone he knew on the other side.

Mrs. Brown stood at his door, a little boy at her side. She beamed down at him.

"Tony, I want you to meet my son, Chris."

Tony looked from mother to son, not sure how he was supposed to respond. Finally he found his voice, "Hi, Mrs. Brown, my dad's not here right now..." It sounded lame to him, but she didn't seem to notice.

"I'm not here to see your father. I thought you might like to spend the day with Chris rather than be stuck up here all day."

The kid smiled at Tony. He had a gap in his grin where he had a tooth missing. Without even trying he made Tony feel like a friend.

"My friends and I were going to practice for Little League today. Can you play outfield?" he asked. From his grin Tony could see that he really meant it and wasn't just asking because his mother made him do it.

"I've never really... uh..." Tony didn't know what to say. He desperately wanted to go play ball with Chris and his friends, but he didn't know how. Playing catch was something other father and sons did, not the DiNozzos.

"It's okay," the boy shrugged, his smile infectious, "we're not very good. We're just going to mess around. My Uncle TC and his friends are going to come coach us. You should come." The words came out in a rush, as if he were afraid Tony would say no if he paused.

"Well if you're sure, I'd like to come," he said hesitantly.

"Well then that's settled then," Mrs. Brown looked very pleased with herself. "I just knew you two were going to be friends. Tony I think you should call your father and make sure it's alright."

Tony thought quickly, he didn't want to lie to Mrs. Brown, but he didn't think he could tell her the truth either. She'd make him go home and he suddenly wanted to stay more than anything in the world.