The former JAG lawyer and pilot Harmon Rabb (from the show JAG) looked out onto the seemingly never-ending desert, and wiped the copious sweat from his brow. McGee approached.

"Tell me, Bud, why are we here?", Rabb asked.

"First of all, my name is McGee, and second, we're here because Iraq played a role in 9/11 and there are weapons of mass destruction here."

"No, I meant why are we here, Gibbs, Ziva, you, me," Rabb clarified.

"Oh, that. That's just this fanfic's plot contrivance to put Abby in a hostage scenario," McGee explained.

Gibbs showed up out of nowhere and slapped McGee on the back of head. "Less yakking, more rescuing!" Gibbs barked.

"We now know that Abby was kidnapped by terrorist group Paprikazbollah, a group who wants all foreigners out of Iraq," Ziva said, "and that they have released video of Abby on the Internet."

"Hack into their website!" Gibbs ordered.

"Already on it, Boss," McGee said, his fingers flurrying over the computer keyboard it almost looked like he was just typing random stuff. "They're using just 72-bit encryption," McGee laughed. "I'm in, piping in video now."

On a window on the computer screen there was a video feed of Abby tied to a chair, dressed up in a black hijab. "What the hell did you do with my old clothes?" Abby asked.

"We burnt it," said one of the insurgents, I mean, terrorists. "Now you don't have to look like an Algerian prostitute anymore. Besides, I get the feeling that you like that color."

"No, I don't, Abul Hassan!" Abby screamed.

"I keep telling you, my name is Mohammed Mohammed!"

Then the window on McGee's computer went blank.

"What the hell happened?" Gibbs asked.

"There probably was a power outage on their end. Nothing Bud could do about it," Rabb explained.

"Is there some way of knowing what parts of Iraq just suffered a power outage?", Gibbs asked.

"Yes, there is. About 85% of the country suffered some sort of power outage in the last minute," McGee said.

"Great, that simmers it down!", Ziva said.

"Narrows it down," McGee corrected gently.

"Where is Tony anyway?", Ziva asked.

"He's TAD to the Baltimore PD ISCU," Rabb said. "But with your computer skills, Bud, why didn't they give you that assignment?"

"Because it's easier for Tony to pretend to be a 14-year-old boy on the Web," Ziva explained.

Tony's TAD at BPD

Like Rabb said, Tony was on temporary assigned duty to the Baltimore PD's Internet sex crimes unit, since the pervert they were after was a Navy officer and Tony used to work at BPD. Tony welcomed this opportunity to work with some old colleagues.

"I did it," Tony exclaimed after pressing Enter on his computer keyboard. "Ensign John Q. Child-Molester, aka 'navydude660,' is going to Joe's arcade today at 5 PM thinking he's gonna score with 14-year-old Tony McBride, aka 'tonyboy4700'. Little does he know he's gonna get arrested then and there," Tony said, rubbing his palms together in satisfaction. "The only thing I regret is that I couldn't get him to admit to priors."

"Well done, DiNozzo!" said his temporary boss, a 300-pound police sergeant. "I'm dispatching the plainclothes cop." The other fat cops in the office weakly clapped for Tony.

Tony got up and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" the morbidly obese police sergeant asked.

"To help with the arrest," Tony said plainly.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Because I like to take a break from sitting on my ass every now and then," Tony said, getting somewhat annoyed now. "Don't get me wrong, child molesters are evil. But I don't think too highly of people like you either." After Tony assisted with the arrest of the molester, he promptly went back to NCIS HQ.

Back to Abby's plight in Iraq

"So we've narrowed down Abby's possible location to somewhere between the Euphrates River and the border with Iran," McGee said.

"Not good enough!" snapped Gibbs.

"Abby kept calling her captor 'Abul Hassan'," Rabb said.

Gibbs got a glassy, far-away look on his eyes.

"And from that tidbit, by some thought process we can't even begin to comprehend, Gibbs will figure out that Abby is being held hostage in...", McGee said expectantly.

A few seconds passed, then Gibbs declared: "Baghdad's upper west side!"

McGee tapped a couple of keys on his computer and said "Only three buildings in Baghdad's upper west side had a power outage at the time we lost our connection to Paprikazbollah's computer."

"McGee, stay here and monitor the situation. Rabb, Ziva, Marine Sergeant John Redshirt, you're with me. Let's roll!" Gibbs said.

When they got to Paprikazbollah's lair, Abby had already freed herself and tied up her captors. Gibbs punched one of the tied up terrorists a couple of times, just because he likes punching tied up people.

"What took you so long?" Abby asked.

Gibbs just smiled.

"Let's go home, to America," Rabb said.

"Too bad I can't say that," Marine Sergeant Redshirt said. Just then a sniper from out of nowhere shot Sergeant Redshirt down.