Stuck in a Role
by Periwinkle

Gibbs had kissed Abby on the cheek and he had seen it, although Gibbs and Abby didn't realize that. He felt his stomach roil and bile rise in his throat. Damn it, why couldn't he get rid of these feelings? He knew, just knew, in his gut that Gibbs would never kiss him like that, but he was trapped by his yearnings. A wave of loneliness washed over him as he turned to go back to his desk.

"Never let them know how you feel," he reminded himself. "Don't let them suspect that you want a man. Just keep pretending to be the great womanizer." But he knew it was just a role that he was trapped in and not his true self.

He gave himself a mental shake, squared his shoulders and pasted a false smile on his face. When he got to Ziva, he made sure to make some sort of remark about the tight ass on the woman he had just interviewed.

"Honestly, Tony. When are you ever going to give up those womanizing ways of yours? You're worse than a teenage boy "

"If only she knew the truth," his mind whispered to him. But he knew he was stuck in a trap and he'd never be free.