"STRONG"
Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a strong man. A strong man who is accustomed to death, it hardly seems to phase him anymore. This ability to distance himself is the reason why he hadn't gone crazy when he got the call, why he hadn't lost it right there over the phone. His reaction to her death was that of a good, experienced NCIS agent's...that of a good marine's.
Seeing the actual crime scene had been harder than the phone call, but he had handled it, of course. Leroy Jethro Gibbs does not run from a challenge. And what a challenge it was. He ignores the sympathetic and worried looks from his team and begins to gather the evidence.
Day in and day out he pushes them to find her killer and maybe, somehow put her memory to rest. Maybe when whoever it was that could do such a thing is behind bars, he will no longer be haunted by the endless dreams and heartache. His team does the best they can, while watching and waiting for a sign that he's losing control. But, it will never come. Leroy Jethro Gibbs is a fighter. He cannot, will not lose control.
At night, alone in his now empty house, he paces the quiet hallways and senses her presence in every step he takes. The basement has become his only relatively safe haven, he doesn't feel her as much when he's down there, she hadn't spent much time there... it had always been his place. He even sleeps down there most nights, curled underneath the skeleton of his unfinished boat. He lays there trying to sleep, trying to forget how it felt to have a warm body sleeping beside him.
The day finally comes when he and his team catch her killer. He wanted to take the son-of-bitch and beat him until the bastard was overcome with a different pain than he himself was. But, Leroy Jethro Gibbs does not lose control. Instead he made Tony handle all contact with the guy.
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Nothing has changed. He thought having her killer behind bars might lessen the pain that consumes him, but it appears he thought wrong. He continues pushing his team way too hard, just so he's able to obsess over something else besides her. He still lies in his basement on most nights, alone with his thoughts.
Only once has he cried for her. Only once has he let that overwhelming shadow of grief take control of him. He had cried long and silent tears, all the while cursing himself for giving in. Cursing himself for being weak, not realizing that he was finally being strong.