Through the Years: Epilogue
by Matt



Tired...

Dead tired...

Bone-weary, red eyes stinging, dull, throbbing headache tired...

So tired, the very thought of food was enough to make the stomach grow queasy and convulse. Tired enough to feel a slight disconnection from reality and wonder if the tingling in the fingertips was because of some type of temporary nerve damage or if the body was truly just going to begin shutting itself down, bit by bit, in retaliation for the lack of sleep. But, worse than all those frustrating, irritating, and physically anesthetized sensations was the wearisome condition that kept the desired state of slumber from enveloping the exhausted soul in blessed, blissful oblivion.

Special Agent Jethro Gibbs sat in a boneless heap on the end of the large sofa in his living room and wondered if his job would be the death of him before his ex-wives could ever manage to suck the life right out of him. It would be a close call, he knew, but, at the moment, he had to put his money on the job. Still dressed in the same clothes and coat he'd worn for the last three days while investigating the murder of a naval officer and his family just north of Nags Head in North Carolina, Gibbs just didn't have the energy to move from where he'd landed, ignoring the small pile of mail he'd absently carried in and the faint odor of some garbage he'd forgotten to put out before leaving. The two weeks away from home had seemed like an eternity. He didn't want to think of where his team had been sent but couldn't help his mind from wandering and grimaced anew, remembering how they'd all reacted upon hearing the name of the town they were going to be working in. Unfortunately, as they'd quickly learned, sometimes cities were aptly named.

Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina, would go down in Gibbs' book as probably the one place to date in his career as an agent he never intended to visit again. Ever. And, if by some freak chance of nature, another poor schmuck and his family met with such an untimely demise as Lieutentant Edward Ross, his wife, and their two kids had, well, Gibbs hoped he would be assigned someplace else...or be dead himself. He shut his eyes and sighed, trying not to see the lifeless bodies of the adults or the splatters and pools of congealing blood, or worse, the doll-like forms of the small children still abed in their pajamas, their tiny, angelic faces marred by a single bullet hole in their foreheads. He'd almost lost it, his mind immediately picturing Lilly in their places, and had suddenly found himself with his cell phone in hand, shaking fingers already punching in the Atlanta number connecting him to his daughter and her mother. Somehow, he'd caught himself at the last moment, finger poised to enter the final digit, and managed to press the end button instead, roughly shoving the phone into his pocket and turning back to work. As much as he wanted to hear her sweet voice, the Ross children needed him more right now and, he knew, they deserved his full and undivided attention.

But he was home now and there was nothing stopping him from placing the delayed call except...

He forced his eyes over to the clock on the nearly-empty bookshelf and cursed his continuing run of bad luck. Damn. Too late to call, even if it was just to speak to his ex-wife. Gibbs sighed and looked longingly toward the phone resting on its charger, determined to make use of the equipment first thing in the morning, catching Lilly and Caroline before they headed out to start their day. Even if all he was given was a few, brief minutes of her time, it would be enough to soothe his soul to hear the little girl's lilting voice.

Blinking away the sudden blurring of his eyesight, Gibbs realized the red light was flashing on the answering machine, an indicator a message was awaiting his retrieval. He turned his head away and sighed again, wondering who had called, when the call had come, and just what in the hell had the caller wanted? He carried on an internal debate to see if he really wanted to get his aching body off the comfortable couch and listen to the communication or just ignore it until another time. Curiosity got the better and he pushed himself to his feet, stumbling the short distance from couch to table and pressing the playback button.

"Hey. It's me...Tony," the disembodied voice explained, sounding unsure and nervous. "I told you I would call when I got to school and...well...I've been here a few weeks. I, uh, I just wanted to say...well...I've been thinking, like you asked me to, and...um, if you're ever up this way, I...I wouldn't mind seeing you again. Or talking. If you want...you can, you know, call." There was a long pause and then the muted sound of the phone being shifted. "Well, I guess you'll get this when you come home so, um, well, okay. I just...I just wanted..." Big sigh. "Bye."

Gibbs stood like a statue, eyes focused solely on the machine at his fingertips, mouth slightly agape, and wondered how he could possibly feel so much better now, after feeling so tired and disheartened only moments ago. Listening as the time and date of the recorded message was given, he realized the call had come the day after his team had left for North Carolina. He felt a small grin form and touched the machine again, repeating the message so he could hear Tony's voice once more...and then, once more again.

It was almost too good to be true. Just when he felt like he was at the end of his rope, someone thought enough to throw him a lifeline. And not just any someone: Tony.

Gibbs let his hand rest gently on the piece of technology and felt his heart twist. Honestly, he'd tried not to get his hopes up, tried not to go to sleep each night thinking about the youth, tried to focus on the job and nothing but the job but, sometimes, especially when he was feeling very low and wondering if the world was full of nothing but pain and hopelessness, his thoughts would fly to Tony. He swallowed thickly and knew his feelings for the youngster had grown with the passage of time, had developed into more than the platonic relationship he'd always tried to demonstrate, and knew he should just allow Tony to continue on his path to adulthood without the troublesome task of having the involvement of Jethro Gibbs. But, when it came to matters of the heart and involved feelings and desires, all he wanted to do was tell his brain to go take a hike. He wanted Tony DiNozzo in his life, pure and simple.

Turning away from the answering machine and gathering his mail from the couch, Gibbs moved toward the hallway leading to the master bedroom, deciding he'd take Tony up on the offer and pay him a short, quick visit. The Ross case was closed, all appropriate paperwork had been turned in, and the team had the remainder of the week off to rest and recover. It would be a perfect time to head to Ohio to see, first hand, just how settled Tony was in his new role as a college freshman and to try to open the lines of communication a bit more. Gibbs began pulling his soiled clothes off as he moved into the bathroom, tossing all the garments into the hamper, and reaching to adjust the knobs in the shower stall, deciding he'd sleep better if all the grit and grime of the job was washed away.

As he stepped in and began to lather up, he realized he actually felt better than he had anytime during the past two weeks and recognized it was because of the upcoming opportunity. Letting one corner of his mouth curve upward, Jethro Gibbs felt a tiny part of his heart he'd so carefully closed away from the rest of the world begin to open and fill again.

********************

"Hey, DiNozzo! You in here?" A deep voice called from the direction of the open entrance of the restroom/shower facilities set up for the section of the living quarters closest to his room in the dorm and Tony pulled the vinyl shower curtain aside, wiping soapy water from his eyes with his fingertips, and looking toward the sound.

"Yeah, I'm here," he blinked against the sting and eyed the large figure of his next-door neighbor, Larry Schmidt. "What's up, Lar?"

"Some guy's here looking for you," the big tackle jerked his head back in the general direction of their rooms. "Says he's a friend."

Tony frowned and reached for the towel hanging on the hook just outside the stall. "He give a name?"

"Nope," Larry shook his head and quickly averted his eyes as Tony stepped completely out of the shower, cheeks flushing with discomfiture. "I almost asked him if he was your father but I didn't see any resemblance...plus, he just doesn't look old enough to be your dad."

"Wouldn't be my father," he said a bit sourly and saw Larry turn back to face him, eyes filled with questions. Tony sighed. "Look, it's a long story. Let's just say, the man who's my biological father and I don't speak. Okay?"

"Sure, Tony," the tackle's deep voice was low, eyes wide with understanding. For such a big, hard-looking guy, Larry Schmidt was the team's gentle giant, his innocence and compassion endearing him to many on the team but, also, making him the butt of several jokes by those who just took him at face value and never took the time to know him personally. He smiled shyly at his friend and offered a small wave. "I'll catch you later."

"Thanks, man," Tony smiled as Larry left and hurriedly finished drying off as best as he could, muttering under his breath about uninvited visitors, and wondering who would be coming to visit him on a Thursday evening. He slipped on a pair of old, well-worn, blue sweatpants, draped the towel around his shoulders, collected his toiletries, and was heading back toward his room as quickly as possible. He'd left his door unlocked, as most of the football players on this floor usually did, and didn't like the idea of some unknown person waiting for him there. It wasn't that he had expensive possessions or there was anything illegal hidden away but Tony valued his privacy, especially now that he was living in such close-quarters with most of the Ohio State football team. But, if this mystery guy had gotten through the dorm's front entrance and past the main desk, he must have some type of clearance allowing him access to the athlete's living areas. For some reason, the thought made Tony a little uneasy.

Striding purposefully forward and shoving the partially closed door all the way open, Tony stepped into his room and took in the sight of the man standing by the small room's only window, backlit by the just-setting sun. Feeling the earth shift slightly under his feet, Tony pulled up short and just stared at his visitor. Even from the back, he could could clearly recognize Jethro Gibbs. The youth had to swallow at this unexpected surprise and, whether he wanted to admit it or not, his unanticipated delight.

Gibbs turned at the sound of the door opening and felt the same shift under his own feet, eyes drinking in his first real look of Tony since their uneasy reconciliation at the cabin months ago. Half-naked and hair damply sticking up, skin still moist and kissed by the shower, the agent had never seen a sight more beautiful in his life than Tony at this moment. His eyes swept swiftly downward, across the solid chest, admiring the sleek musculature and trim physique, realizing more than ever before just how grown-up Tony truly was. The boy had faded away, leaving this magnificent young man in its place. Forcing his eyes back up once he'd taken in the bare feet, he met the cautiously curious gaze and took a step forward, offering a crooked smile.

"You said if I was ever up this way..." He let the rest die away as Tony quickly closed the distance between them, the green eyes swiftly taking their own inventory.

"Yeah, I did but," he stopped about a foot away and swallowed, clutching his small kit to his chest and running a trembling hand through his wet hair, "I...I just didn't think you'd be this way so soon."

Gibbs frowned, feeling a part of his excitement begin to dim, and shoved his hands self-consciously into his pockets, purposefully keeping himself from reaching out and touching the damp skin. "Is this a bad time? I'm sorry...I should have called first."

"No, no," Tony assured, easing to one side, and dumping his stuff on the dresser closest to the small student desk, turning immediately back to face the man, "it's okay. Really. I'm just...surprised, that's all."

They eyed each other silently, blue eyes meeting and holding green ones steadily, searching for...something. When a stray droplet of water ran from Tony's hairline and slipped from his chin to land at the center of his chest, Gibbs' gaze fell to watch the slow, meandering, downward path for several long moments before absently reaching out and dabbing it away with the back of his fingers, ignoring the towel still draped around the young man's neck. The touch was electric. Sucking in a quick breath, he froze and cursed silently as Tony took a small step away, the verdent eyes growing wary and suspicious. It was too intimate, too personal, too uncomfortable.

"You okay, Tony?" A deep, familiar voice inquired from the still-open doorway and both occupants swung their heads in that direction, taking in the sight of the fairly-massive young man filling the entry. The pale eyes seemed to bore into Gibbs' and it was easy to see he was there as a protector.

Tony immediately stepped toward his friend and laid a calming hand on the closest arm. "Yeah, hey...everything's cool, Lar. This is...this is Jethro Gibbs. I've...I've known him since I was a little kid."

Larry ignored the nervous catch in Tony's voice and stepped forward, extending his arm toward the agent. The big, beefy hand easily swamped and enclosed the palm and fingers as the greeting was exchanged. "I didn't introduce myself earlier, Mr. Gibbs. I'm Larry Schmidt."

"It's good to meet you, Larry," Gibbs was amazed by the sheer size of the youth and had to admit it wasn't often he had to look up to another perdson like this. "I take it you're a football player, too?"

"Oh, yes, sir. I'm a junior...right-side tackle," the tall, young man beamed, eyes roaming back over to his friend, obviously glad everything within the room was all right. "I didn't mean to interrupt, Tony."

"It's okay," Tony assured with a smile, moving over to a small chest of drawers and removing an OSU t-shirt. As he quickly tugged it over his head, he directed his next statement at Gibbs, his green eyes dancing with a hint of mischief. "Larry is a twin, Jethro. His brother John goes to school here, too."

"That right?" Gibbs responded, knowing from the playful tone in Tony's voice there was more to the story. "Does John play ball, too?"

The two youths looked at each other and burst out laughing but it was Larry who was the one to answer. "No, sir," the smile was wide and genuine. "John likes to spend his extra time hanging out with the art majors."

Gibbs was a little confused, concerned this upper-classman may, somehow, be a bad influence, and hoped this wasn't a sign of Tony's growing lack of respect for diversity. "Nothing wrong with an appreciation for the Arts. Tony's visited many a museum in his youth and..."

"No, Jethro," Tony interrupted with a smile and a gentle laugh, "John's not an art major. He's a business major."

Now, the ex-Marine was really confused. "I'm not seeing the picture here."

"My brother," Larry said as he stepped toward the open doorway, "has earned extra money for the past two years as a nude model for the evening art classes provided by the university and, you know, it really wouldn't be so bad, except for one small thing."

Gibbs knew he was setting himself up for the fall. "What's that, Larry?"

The big tackle smiled widely. "A lot of people don't know we're twins, Mr. Gibbs. Can you *even* imagine the offers I get when I go out?"

Then, with a simple shrug of one shoulder, he was gone, leaving Gibbs to mull over the loaded question. After a few moments, he turned to face Tony and saw the bemused expression.

"He's kidding, right?"

"Nope," Tony grinned, shaking his head at some memory. He saw Gibbs narrow his eyes and knew he'd have to explain later but, for now, he had other things to discuss. "So, are you working a case in Columbus? I didn't think you guys traveled this far away from your area."

"NCIS agents go wherever they're needed, Tony, but to answer your question, no, I'm not in Columbus on a case."

"Then," the youth continued his frank appraisal of the man, "you came to see me."

Not asked as a question but the green eyes were still a tad suspicious. Gibbs took his time crossing the small gap separting them and didn't stop until he was, once more, almost toe-to-toe with Tony.

"Yes, I came to see you," he said quietly, hands itching to smooth the thick hair back off the forehead. "I've missed you. Very much."

Tony swallowed nervously and took a step back, arms rising to cross in front of his chest. He lowered his gaze to the floor and shifted slightly from foot to foot.

"I...I missed you, too," he admitted softly.

Gibbs could hear the effort it took for Tony to speak those words, could easily see the rampant insecurity rearing it's ugly head again, and knew there was still a lot of damage to repair in their relationship. He decided it was best to give the youth some space.

"Look, you're right. I should have called first to let you know I was coming. But I'm here now and I'd like to spend some time with you. My flight doesn't leave until Sunday afternoon, so I was hoping you'd be able to fit me into your schedule. I'm staying at the Ramada off Interstate 71...room 214," he paused and looked away for a moment. "If you're not busy for dinner tonight, I'd like to take you someplace where we can enjoy a meal together and talk."

Tony bit at his bottom lip. "I've got a ten o'clock curfew, Jethro. All football freshmen have to be in the dorm during the week by ten o'clock."

Gibbs eyed his watch and his quick mind went into action. "I'll tell you what, it's almost six o'clock now. How about I go downstairs to the lobby and wait while you change. We can get a bite to eat and I can have you back here way before ten. What do you say?"

Tony shifted again and turned away from Gibbs, his gaze settling somewhere outside. It was easy to see his indecision and anxiety just from the way he was standing.

"I don't know, Jethro. This is all so sudden, you know? If...if I'd just known you were coming, I might have been better prepared to handle this."

"Handle what?" Gibbs asked kindly, not wishing to cause anymore discomfort.

"This," Tony turned his head to look back over his shoulder at the man. "You...me. Just...this."

Gibbs smiled and raised his hands. "Tony, I'm going down and wait in the lobby. If you don't come down in a half an hour, I'll know you really didn't want to have dinner with me and I'll leave. There's no pressure, okay?"

"You'd just leave?" Tony seemed not quite ready to believe.

Gibbs nodded and moved to the open doorway. "Yes."

They continued to stare at each other, one by the door and one by the window, the distance between them seemingly further than it really was. As the seconds ticked by, Gibbs felt his hopes begin to crumble...it just didn't look as though Tony was going to give him any type of response, much less a positive one.

Gathering his strength, he nodded once again and turned away. It was time to leave.

"Jethro."

Suddenly, Tony was at the door, one hand on Gibbs' bicep, stopping the man's forward motion. He gripped it once tightly and released his hold, waiting until the ex-Marine turned back to face him.

"I, uh...just give me about ten minutes," Tony mumbled and dropped his gaze. "I'll throw on some clothes and be right down."

Gibbs' relief was evident but he waited until the youth raised his head before offering another smile. "I'll be downstairs. Just come down when you're ready."

They drove in Gibbs' rented car to a nice restaurant a good distance from campus and the agent was glad Tony had used some of his time in Columbus to get to know a bit of the town. Rush hour traffic could be a real bitch in any major U. S. city, so it was good to have someone who could navigate the back streets and help avoid areas of congestion. Gibbs enjoyed listening as Tony began to slowly open up and talk about his past month away from Manassas, of the long, hot afternoons spent in practice, of how pumped he was about most of his classes, and how he and Josh had helped Cat locate a small apartment close to campus, where the three of them could get together and shut the rest of the world out when they needed a bit of isolation. He quickly recognized just how much he truly missed hearing the sound of Tony's voice and the colorful way the youth had when explaining daily occurrences and experiences. Gibbs grinned to himself, keeping his eyes focused on the road ahead, and letting the soothing voice wash over his spirit. The words continued to flow easily until they pulled up in front of the restaurant and didn't start up again until after they had been seated and had ordered their meals.

"So," Tony began again after taking a long drink of his iced tea, "I've talked enough about my life here. What about you? What's the world of Jethro Gibbs been like since...well, since we saw each other last?"

Gibbs sat back and studied the youth, seeing no unkindness or malice in the open expression, only the truthful desire to know. He shook his head and sighed.

"Same old same old," he sighed. "Bad guys do bad things...good guys get called in..."

"Good guys kick some bad guy ass?"

"Sometimes," Gibbs grinned and watched as Tony settled back in his own seat, relaxed and comfortable. "But instead of talking about my work, how about I give you an update on Lilly. I got to speak to her just this morning."

And off he went, relating his young daughter's latest escapades in day care, of her mother's attempts in getting the little diva to take her dance classes seriously, and of her new love of an ice cream flavor called 'death by chocolate'. They shared a laugh or two, both easily able to picture the little red-head in their minds, knowing how hard-headed and single-minded the tiny female could be when she set her mind to a certain task. Lilly Marie Gibbs could simply resist or comply according to her whims and no one seemed capable to sway the child from her set course of action...or inaction.

"You always seemed to be able to get her to do things," Gibbs smiled at the memories of the youth interacting with his daughter, watching him attack the salad the waitress had just placed before them, along with a basket of hot, fresh rolls.

"Just a fluke of nature," Tony mumbled around a mouthful of crunchy mixed greens. "Though I think it's poetic justice...Carolyn used to get so pissed when..." Tony snapped his mouth shut and looked sheepishly across the table. "God, I'm sorry. That was real rude of me to bring her up like that."

"No," Gibbs sighed, shaking his head and leaning forward, "it's okay. I don't want you to ever apologize to me again for having hard feelings toward either of my ex-wives. As I recall, neither one of them ever treated you very well."

"So," Tony eyed the man and digested the words. "you and Diane are divorced already?"

Gibbs met the frank gaze without blinking. "Almost. Just waiting for the papers to be signed. Soon as I filed, she went on an 'extended vacation'...whatever that means."

Tony nodded and let his eyes drop back to his salad, his fork now poking aimlessly at the bits of lettuce and dressing, pushing the pieces around in the bowl. "I'm...not sorry about that."

Gibbs barked out a quick laugh and saw Tony's eyes flash back to his face, surprise evident. "I don't expect to to be. Christ, Tony, there was no excuse for what she did to you."

"Or for what she did to you, too," the youth's voice was soft and full of understanding. "You know...Candace always told me there's two sides to every story but," he huffed out a sharp breath, "I don't even want to know what Diane thinks her side of this story is. When I walked in and saw her with that guy," his face morphed into a sour expression and he gave a fake shiver, "I wanted to puke. It was like she was playing some kind of game and didn't care who got involved."

Gibbs studied the youthful face, debated on whether he needed to reveal a bit of information he'd kept under wraps for so long, and then decided to forge ahead. If they were going to get on with their relationship, this would be a good starting point.

"You know, Tony, Diane once accused me of cheating on her."

"You're kidding," Tony's eyes were wide with surprise. "With who?"

"You."

The measure of astonishment was evident in the way Tony's face paled and then rapidly suffused with color, wide eyes growing even larger. His mouth opened but no words came out and all he could do was sit and stare helplessly at the man occupying the seat across from him at the table. Dropping his eyes to the linen covering, Tony toyed with his fork and took a deep breath.

"I...I don't know what to say," he finally managed.

"You don't have to say anything," Gibbs soothed, tilting his head to one side. "I just wanted you to know she believed she saw something between us I couldn't or wouldn't acknowledge. And the funny thing about all of this, Tony, is that she was..."

"No," Tony quickly interrupted, a nervous, anxious expression clouding the youthful face. "I don't want to talk about this right now. Okay? I just...I just want to have a nice meal with you and talk about something, anything else...I don't care but, please, just not this. Please."

Gibbs realized he needed to back off but the disappointment was great. He sighed and nodded.

"Here you go guys," the friendly waitress was back, placing two large plates in front of the now-silent males.

They sat in awkward silence as the young woman finished her task. Gibbs hated the way Tony now avoided his eyes, the green gaze floating from the waitress to his food to the napkin in his lap to just about anywhere but to him. Gritting his teeth in frustration and mentally kicking himself for breeching the subject so soon, the ex-Marine picked up his own flatware and began attacking his steak, determined to find an easier topic for discussion. He cast his mind in different directions, hoping to come up with something 'safe' but he continually came back to the same thing. Throwing his fork down in frustration and surprising the youth by the unexpected action, Gibbs cleared his throat.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I've got to say some things, " he began as evenly as he could, watching as the startled eyes finally rose to meet his gaze again. "We can dance around this all you want but it's not going to go away. You *know* why I'm here, Tony. I didn't come all this way just to see how football practice was going or how well you liked your classes. You know I want to find a place back in your life, in your heart, and I want us to begin now. I don't want to waste anymore time...I think I've done that enough in the past."

Tony shifted nervously and unconsciously clutched the fork in his fingers even tighter, the skin turning white under the pressure. He licked at his suddenly-dry lips, forced the utensil from his grip, and reached to take a shaky sip from his cold glass of tea. He saw Gibbs track the trembling tumbler, from table to lips and back again, before transferring his blue gaze back to his face.

"You never..." Tony started but coughed nervously before attempting again. "You never do things the easy way, do you?"

"What's the point of that?" Gibbs asked gently. He leaned forward in his seat and eased his hand in Tony's direction, sliding it along the table surface until it rested just inches from the youth's fingers. "Tony, do you want us to be together?"

Tony looked down at the hand so close to his and swallowed. "I...I don't know how to answer that right now."

"Why not?" The voice was still kind and soft. Seeing the anxiety begin to rise again, he reached further and captured the younger hand, holding tight and secure. "Tony, do you care for me at all?"

The green eyes shot up. "Of course I care for you, Jethro, and that's what makes this so hard for me. I told you at the cabin...I don't want to get hurt again."

"Well, neither do I."

Tony frowned at the man's comment. "What?"

"Look, I'm no fool. You just started college, you're an athlete, you're a great looking young guy, and, let's face it, you're probably going to have your pick of just about anyone you set your eyes on. Just snap your fingers and watch them fall into line." He arched an eyebrow and released the hand. "I'm going to be moving to Washington as soon as I sell the house in Richmond, Tony, and you're going to be here. *You'll* be the one surrounded by hordes of able and willing partners, all of them close to your age, and out for a good time. I can't pretend to compete with that.

"And Cat and Josh are here, just like they were in Manassas. I know you three are a lot closer than you ever let on. When they find out I'm trying to work my way back into your life, they'll do everything in their power to keep me as far away as possible, to protect you from my stupidity. Crap, I don't blame them...if I was your friend, I'd try to keep me away, too.

"And look at my track record: I've sucessfully screwed up two marriages and forcibly pushed away the only good thing I've known since Mike. I put my work ahead of just about everything, including those I love, and expect things to be just fine and dandy. I continue to let society dictate what it feels is appropriate, I conform to what's 'normal' because I know it will be in my best interest and help me advance at work, and I still maintain my stiff Marine attitude. I do these things to survive. I'm not saying it's right, it's just the way I am. I can't help it. Maybe I don't deserve to have someone special in my life...maybe I'm suppose to be alone."

"Christ, Tony, I may not be old enough to be your father but I'm certainly old enough to know you've got the whole world at your feet right now and don't need to be involved with someone as old as me. Hell, this is the place you may even finally meet the one person you might want to spend the rest of your life with or, at least, be with until college is over." He shook his head in disbelief. "I don't even know why I'm here now. I should have stayed in Virginia and let you get on with your life."

Amazed at the sudden turn in the direction of Gibbs' speech, Tony could only watch as the man sat back and lowered his head in defeat, knowing he'd, quite literally, talked himself out of initial purpose. He stared back in astonishment, looking at the ex-Marine, and wondering how the events of the past several minutes had gotten so screwed up. In the span of a few heartbeats, Gibbs had gone from his usual self-assured, take-charge, gotta-have-it-my-way bastard to this insecure, self-effacing, you'd-be-better-off-without-me stranger. Tony frowned...and began to get angry.

"Well," he gritted tightly and reached for his fork, "I'm *so* glad we got that all straightened out. Now, maybe, we can eat in peace."

Gibbs didn't raise his eyes but just nodded. Tony stared at the man's head and felt his anger ratchet up a notch.

"Yeah," he jabbed at a hunk of meat on his own plate, "if *we* hadn't had this conversation, no telling what *I* might have decided to do...on my own."

Again, the agent silently nodded and ignored his own food, choosing to keep his eyes downcast and the rest of his thoughts to himself. He didn't see the irritated way Tony shoved the bit of steak into his mouth or chew as if he was biting into a hunk of rubber, instead of a succulent piece of sirlion. He didn't detect the annoyed gaze of the heated green eyes or sense the rising level of frustration but did feel the soft impact of the dinner roll that suddenly hit him on the top of his downward-angled head.

"What..." he blinked in obvious confusion, finally raising his head and refocusing on the youth sitting across from him. "Tony?"

"You arrogant, infuriating, self-serving bastard!" He hissed and snatched another roll from the basket near his hand. "You always do this! You always make the decision on what's going to happen and never give me a chance to get my feelings in order." He threw the bread at the man and watched as it was deflected, bouncing harmlessly to land on the floor to one side. "Why do you always do this shit?"

Gibbs looked helplessly around the room to see if the breaded attack had been noticed by others and then quickly back as the youth grabbed another from the basket. He raised his hands in surrender.

"Tony, I'm sorry..."

"You sure are!" Tony fumed. "You're about one of the sorriest excuses for a human being I've ever met. Whenever we're together anymore, I feel like I'm on one, big emotional roller coaster, going up and down and never knowing when the next curve is going to throw me left or right or totally off! Damn it, Jethro, why do you keep doing this to me?" He dropped the roll still clutched in one hand, all fight suddenly evaporating. "Why do you come back into my life, build my hopes up, and tear them right back down again? Why?"

Gibbs was immediately up and rounding the table, closing the distance between them. He went to one knee beside Tony's chair, a hand poised on the raised back for balance, and looked intently into the youth's troubled eyes, plainly seeing the conflicting emotions swimming in their depths.

"What are you saying, Tony?" His own eyes were intense and alert, his full attention focused on the young man. "Please, tell me. What is it?"

Tony sighed and shifted on his chair, finally facing the man squarely. Looking into the hopeful blue gaze, he did the only thing he thought would clearly transmit his true feelings, knowing he was putting himself back out on a shaky limb. Leaning forward and closing the gap between their mouths, he gently pressed his lips against the startled man's, making the contact as brief and as chaste as possible. He pulled back and sighed.

"That's what I'm saying, Jethro," he whispered fervently. "Do you understand?"

Gibbs swallowed, still uncertain of the implications. "That wasn't a kiss goodbye, was it?"

"No," Tony shook his head at the shy inquiry. He cocked his head to one side, raised a hand to softly touch the man on one cheek, and sighed. "I'm saying hello, Jethro."

Gibbs' reaction was immediate. Pulling the youth into a fierce hug, squeezing with all his might, he buried his face in the juncture of Tony's neck and shoulder, breathing deeply of the scent he clearly remembered, and suddenly feeling like he'd found home...again. He continued the embrace, savoring the sensation, until a strange presence was detected close by.

"Is there a problem here, sir?" A strong, male voice interrupted, the tone tinged with a measure of distaste.

Gibbs was instantly on his feet and staring at the balding man who wore a tag indicating his status as the restaurant's manager. He took in the stiff posture, the narrowed eyes, and the surly curl to the upper lip in one quick sweep and knew what the intruder felt about the little display of public affection. Quickly plucking the now-empty bread basket from the table, he shoved the woven wicker against the man's chest.

"Yes, there is," he said bluntly, his gaze steely and hard, "we're out of rolls. Make sure some more are brought immediately."

Without waiting for a reply, Gibbs turned away and reclaimed his seat across from Tony, blue eyes changing as they settled on the younger man's face, watching as the youth struggled to hold in his laughter. He knew when the manager finally turned away but couldn't bring himself to care. All he could see now was Tony.

They finished their meal in a more subdued manner. When they finally made it back to the rented vehicle in the parking lot, they sat for a few moments in quiet reflection, each lost in the implications of what this relationship could really mean. Finally, Gibbs broke the silence.

"Come back to the motel with me," he whispered, eyes still forward, half afraid to look at the young man at his side. "We...can talk."

"Talk?" Tony asked playfully. "Is that what you call it?"

The smoldering look Gibbs finally sent his way was almost hot enough to steal his breath away. The blue eyes, even within the darkened confines of the car, were incendiary and made Tony's skin feel hot and achy, like all he wanted to do was grab a hold of the man and rub up against him. Hard. His lips parted slightly and he exhaled.

"We don't have to talk," Gibbs' words were rough and low and ran straight from Tony's ears to his dick, sending a tight curl of heat throughout his groin.

Tony moaned softly, licked his lips and started to respond but was stopped as Gibbs slid across the seat and covered his mouth with one hand. They were inches apart, Tony's lips pressed against the rough palm, eyes wide as Gibbs leaned closer to whisper into one ear.

"If we go back to the motel now, I may not get you back in time for curfew," he breathed against the delicate shell and heard another muffled moan. "Hell, I *won't* get you back in time. I need more than just an hour or two with you, Tony. I need a whole night because we *are* going to have to talk about this. God knows how much I want you right now but," he pulled back and let his hand shift around so he was cupping the back of the youth's head, fingers threading through the soft hair, his eyes focused on the tempting lips, "we have to make sure we go into this understanding what it means for both of us. All right?"

Tony nodded and licked his lips again. "Yes, I...I understand. We've got a home game Saturday afternoon but, afterwards, I can stay out...all night." He shuddered a little as Gibbs ghosted his mouth over his sensitive lips. "I...I'll just need to check out at the front desk when I leave but I can..."

The rest was lost in a mixture of breath and saliva and tongues. Tony surged toward the stronger body, raising his hands and trying to pull the man closer, not caring they were still in the restaurant's parking lot. Gibbs allowed it to continue for only a few moments before he started to ease them apart, gently kissing the mouth, the cheeks, the closed eyes, as he slowly moved away. He heard a grumble of discontent and watched as the green eyes lazily reopened and, oh, God, how was he going to wait until Saturday?

"Christ, Tony," he breathed harshly as he rubbed a thumb across the wet lower lip, hissing as the clever tongue eased out to lap against the rough pad of the digit. Relunctantly, he pulled his hand away and shifted back behind the wheel, eyes never leaving the face of his companion.

"I'm glad you came to see me," Tony whispered, his eyes glittering with desire, his body relaxed against the seat in open invitation.

Gibbs nodded silently and turned the key in the ignition, forcing his eyes back to the front. "Tell me that again after Saturday night."

Putting the car into gear, he paused when Tony reached over and grabbed his arm. He turned a questioning gaze to his passenger and bit back a moan of his own. He would fall into those eyes if he wasn't careful.

"I'll tell you again," Tony affirmed hotly, open desire and obvious need etched across the young face. "I'll tell you Sunday morning."

Nodding once, Gibbs returned his focus to the front and, as carefully as possible, began the trip back to the OSU campus, more aware of the younger body at his side than he'd ever been before. It almost seemed too much to take Tony back to the dorm now but, in the back of his mind, Gibbs knew the wait would be for the best, would give the youth the time to think about the situation, and to back out if he felt he couldn't go through with it.

"I won't change my mind," Tony suddenly said, as if sensing Gibbs' thoughts.

Gibbs cast him a quick glance and saw the truth: Saturday night would be theirs.

***

Columbus, Ohio...

Not a bad town. Some good museums, several five-star restaurants, plenty of sights to see, if a person was so inclined to enjoy things like that. It was even possible to walk the downtown area without too much anxiety of getting mugged or losing track of direction. The city played host to a variety of events, some centering around the local university but many aimed to those not affiliated with the school in any form or another.

The Convention Center was the venue for most of the temporary activities, easily housing yearly visits from the circus, professional ice skaters, and well-known children's companies and all these performances brought in much-appreciated revenue and energy. As good as all those were, nothing was as anticipated as greatly, by young and old alike, as the sight of the huge RVs and trailers covered with brightly-colored graphics signifying the return of the motocross riders. And, even though Jethro Gibbs was staying in a place several miles away from where the action was to take place, he couldn't help but notice the plethora of young people striding about in their designer gear, motocycle company logos emblazened across their chests and backs, and found himself pausing to witness the sheer energy their presence brought wherever they went. He had to admit, he'd sure like to bottle some of that vitality to take back home to Virginia but, if nothing else, the motocrossers were certainly a good diversion for him from his current train of thought.

He'd managed, somehow, to make it through the bulk of Friday without resorting to using any of his training to inflitrate the OSU campus and trail Tony from class to class but it had been a near thing. He'd talked himself out of it but mentally equating himself with stalkers he'd heard about and he just didn't want to go in that direction...yet. So, he'd filled his morning by reading a newspaper in some coffee shop, pointedly ignoring the residents on their way to work and, afterwards, wandering by foot through a bit of the city and taking in the sights. Unfortunately, through his job, he was quickly finding one old, American city looked pretty much like the other.

By mid-afternoon, Gibbs had found himself back in the rented car and on the way toward the OSU campus, determined to take in the football team's regular practice session. He'd sat in the stands, along with a handful of other interested spectators, and observed the pad-free workout. No tackling or hard hitting that day, not the afternoon before a game, but the drills and plays had been run over and over again until Gibbs had squirmed on the hard metal, silently wishing he'd thought to bring along a bottle of cold water and a cap to cover his head.

Afterwards, he'd waited around outside the locker room exit and, as Tony had appeared among the others leaving with Josh at his side, Gibbs had felt his stomach clench, immediately catching the hateful glare as the other youth detected his presence. It had been clearly evident Tony's friend was not happy with the turn of events and, frankly, the feelings were understandable. The ex-Marine had stayed where he stood, back against a rough wall, and watched as Tony stopped Josh by placing a hand on the youth's arm, pulling him around until they stood toe to toe, and bent their heads together in some private conversation. It had taken a while but, slowly, Gibbs had seen some of the edginess leave Josh's body. Tony's calming hand had risen to grasp one of his friend's shoulders and had shaken it gently, all the while speaking intently in a tone that must have been very reassuring, because the youth had suddenly smiled, looked Gibbs' way again, and offered a brief nod in greeting.

From his vantage point several yards away, Gibbs had nodded back and watched as the two friends had parted ways, Josh heading in the general direction of the dorm and Tony coming directly toward his position. He'd been a bit apprehensive...until Tony had smiled and offered to share the container of bottled water he'd taken from the cooler in the locker room, saying something about certain fools needing to rehydrate. Putting his lips to the same rim and sipping out of the same bottle had seemed, somehow, terribly erotic and he'd found it difficult to look at anything but Tony's mouth.

Tony's mouth...

That evening, after a quick meal of fast food, they'd spent a brief time at the Convention Center, Tony's interest whetted by Gibbs' description of the motocross participants he'd encountered earlier in the day. It had been one of the noisiest events either had ever attended. The constant thrumming of revving engines, the shrill whine of accelerating motorcycles, and the heart-pounding action down on the drit track had brought them both out of their seats, especially when one of the riders took to the air, soaring over the jumps and whoops and defying gravity in ways never expected.

The place had been packed, even though the main event wouldn't take place until Saturday night, and they'd found themselves pushed and jostled together repeatedly. There had been a few brief, casual touches, a head bent a little closer than necessary or a hand placed gently on some area of bare skin but nothing that had set them aflame like the night before. It wasn't until Gibbs had been forced up tightly against Tony's back, after being pushed by a small group of screaming girls trying to make their way to the pit area, that the ex-Marine knew he was in trouble. Tony had looked over one shoulder and smirked, made some flippant, teasing comment about 'big, bad ex-Marines getting shoved around by little girls', and had immediately sucked in a choked breath as Gibbs' hand had settled on his ass...grabbing tightly. The look they'd exchanged had said it all.

It wasn't until they'd pulled up outside Tony's dorm and had gazed searchingly at each other that Gibbs realized he'd actually been a bit scared during the time they'd shared. Examining his fear, he'd decided it was because he'd actually thought Tony was going to tell him he'd had a change of heart, that he didn't want any part of what Gibbs was offering, and that he could just go straight to hell. Whatever the reason, he'd been nervous and jittery. And, if he was honest with himself, he'd wanted Tony to consider the possible repercussions of stepping into this type of relationship at this point in his life, had wanted him to have the time to talk things over with Josh and Cat, and had wanted nothing but the God's-honest truth when the final discussion took place...no matter how hurtful or heart-shattering the decision may be. The worried concerns must have been very apparent on his face because Tony had slowly leaned over, placed a quick kiss to his mouth, and whispered against one cheek, his breath moist and hot.

"I'll be waiting for you after the game tomorrow," he'd promised and pulled back, just enough to look into Gibbs' eye, waiting for the apprehensive expression to change.

Gibbs had immediately reached out and captured one of Tony's hands, gripping tightly, wanting to give him every opportunity to reconsider. "You're sure?"

Tony's answering smile had been a mixture of pure sweetness blended with a healthy serving of open desire and Gibbs had immediately been reminded, just by the look alone, this was no blushing virgin. He'd squeezed the man's hand in return before giving his response.

"Yes, Jethro, I'm sure."

"If you change your mind..." Gibbs had begun, ceasing abruptly when Tony's smile had started to slip. He had cleared his throat and had tried to verbalize his concerns again. "Look, I just want you to be certain, that's all. You *know* I want this but I just need to know you've thought about everything I said to you at dinner last night."

"I have, Jethro," Tony'd assured and then looked down at their joined hands. "I just hope *you've* taken the time to consider what this is going to mean to you, too."

"Like what?" Gibbs had asked, watching as the young face had risen and nailed him with a very serious look.

"I'm not going to let our relationship, however it develops, change the way I am here at school," Tony stated matter-of-factly. "I'm going to continue just like I have, dating girls, pledging a fraternity, and being the regular guy. Shit, Jethro, I'm a member of the biggest boy's club on campus right now just being a part of the football team. I'm not going to do anything to change my standing or give anyone else the ammo they need to take a shot at me. I know the kind of damage that information can do to a person, I saw the way you and Mike had to hide out at the cabin whenever you wanted some privacy, and, believe me, I've been tutored well enough by my grandfather to know what's considered 'appropriate' behavior for a gentleman in today's society." He had rolled his eyes at the last staement and sighed dramatically. "And I expect you'll go back to Virginia and do the same things you've always done, live your life like you always have, and put on a show for your co-workers and bosses...like I'll do for mine."

Gibbs had been fairly amazed by the words...and very relieved. "You really have thought this out, haven't you?"

Tony had nodded. "There's only one difference, Jethro, but it's a biggie. I'll know in my heart where my true affections are directed." His eyes had begun to sparkle in the dimness and he had looked quickly away. "We're going to have sex tomorrow night. I want it and you want it but you have to understand something very important," his eyes had come back and they'd been wet with emotion, "I refused to let myself feel too much for anyone, even Kevin, after you...after you broke my heart. If I let you back in now, you'd better be prepared to keep me around and you'd better not do anything like that again to me. I know you'll be having sex with others and you know I'll be doing the same here but...I...I love you, Jethro, and I hope to God you know just how difficult it is for me to admit."

And Gibbs did know.

Now, not quite twenty-four hours later, as the ex-Marine silently closed the door of his motel room and slowly turned to watch his younger companion walk around the small, temporary bedroom, he allowed his blue gaze to track the easy, graceful movements, looking for any sign of uncertainty or nervousness. And, although there may have been the tiniest bit of tension in the usually fluid body, there was also a small, shy smile playing around the beautiful mouth as he lazily took in the surroundings.

Gibbs saw Tony ghost his fingertips over the solid, built-in dresser that held a small overnight bag, watched as he traced absently across the surface of the bolted-down television set, and was a tiny bit concerned when he continued walking until he was standing before the large, tinted window at the rear of the room, overlooking the poolside courtyard. Not once had the green gaze flicked in the direction of the big bed dominating most of the room but, that in of itself, didn't indicate any resistance or a change of heart.

Gibbs' room was two stories up in the modest motel and the view from the window was good, so Tony paused in his inspection of the surroundings and looked down. From this vantage point, it was easy to see the pool and to determine just which of the swimwear-clad revellers was causing the disturbance, sending the contained liquid in a motion resembling something usually seen in a wave pool at a water park. Tony smiled out at the sight.

"Somebody's going to drown out there before the night's over," he murmured through the grin, shoving his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, and leaning one shoulder against the edge of the window's frame. "I think that's a pretty dangerous mix: motocrossers and footballers...ain't room enough in this town for both of them at the same time."

Gibbs laughed quietly and slowly moved until he was standing directly behind the youth, looking past him to the sight below. He was right...the liquid in the concrete liner was like a storm on the high seas, roiling and rolling, the heads of those foolhardy enough or those brave enough to remain within the water bobbing and dipping as the swells rose and fell. Big boys with plenty of muscle and brawn challenged lean guys with wild hair and tattoos, taking turns cannonballing into the deep end and splashing and soaking anything and everything within a ten-foot radius.

"I think you're right," Gibbs agreed softly but quickly transferred his attention to the body before him. He closed to last little bit of distance, feeling the heat of Tony's back against his chest, and brought his hands up to gently capture the youth's biceps, effectively trapping the arms in the process. He felt Tony lean back, relaxing into the tender trap, and breathed a sigh of contentment.

"This is nice," he whispered, letting his head fall against the man's shoulder, cheek rasping against the slightly-rough chin.

Jethro hummed his accord and tilted his head just enough to rest his lips on the smoother skin, satisfied for the moment just to soak up the sight and the smell and the feel of the youth finally in his arms. Tony continued to watch the activity below for several long minutes, happy to remain by the window and within the comfort of Gibbs' embrace.

The silence in the dim room was soothing and almost seemed a world apart from the happenings just on the other side of the darkened pane. The only discernable sounds came from the air-conditioning unit humming softly on one wall and the muted yells from the scene below...everything else in the space resonated peace.

"Do you love me?"

The unexpected whispered question was uttered so softly, Gibbs was, at first, unsure he'd actually heard the almost-silent inquiry. When it did fully register, and his heart settled from it's painful wrenching, he let his hands trail from the youth's trapped biceps and slide up and across the solid chest, calloused fingertips easily detecting the steady, rhythmic thudding under the thin, cotton fabric of the shirt. He allowed his right hand to remain, momentarily, over the center of Tony's body and felt the sting of emotion begin to burn at the back of his throat, knowing any verbal expression he attempted at this time would probably lead to tears. He'd always known how he'd scarred Tony's psyche and damaged his self-esteem but, until this point, hadn't realized how ingrained the seed of doubt had burrowed and how frail the tender spirit still stood. Pressing his face to the warm skin, Gibbs could only nod his assesnt, hoping, praying, the action would be enough.

It wasn't.

"I...I have to hear you say it, Jethro. I can't...I can't do this if you..."

The sound of Tony's slight studder, a clear indicator of his lingering uncertainty, had Gibbs instantly moving, hands gently turning the youth until they were standing face to face, palms cupping the smooth cheeks and mouths just inches apart. He could see the silent, desperate plea in the green depths, could feel the slight, persistent hesitation in the younger body, and knew it was now or never.

"Yes," he breathed, pressing the bulk of thier bodies together but keeping his eyes focused on Tony's, letting the tears he'd tried to contain come unheeded, "and yes and yes...I *do* love you, Tony. I do love..."

The rest was silenced by Tony's mouth as he covered Gibbs' lips with a series of soft, dry kisses. Gibbs allowed him to take the lead, offering his own slow, gentle pecks in return, feeling the last vestiges of doubt dissolve and finally evaporate. As strong arms rose to encircle his shoulders, drawing them closer, Gibbs let his own hands begin to roam, tracing dual, synchronized paths up the sensitive sides, from slim waist to open underarms, and around to the solid back, separating only from the mirrored-pattern as one went high toward the neckline and the other began a downward descent.

Then, he snugged them in tighter.

There wasn't much about their awful time in Syracuse, or the subsequent meeting with that bastard Frank DiNozzo, Gibbs ever wanted to remember but there was one thing he never wanted to forget. The sounds Tony made during sexual arousal was entrenched in every fiber of his being and, now, the memories of those erotic noises came flooding back as the first whimpers of desire broke from that lush mouth. Oh, God. Nothing more than a simple, little moan could send the body reeling and Gibbs began to deepen the kiss, determined to drink his fill of all he could wring from Tony during this night.

Mouths opened and began to taste, slow, sensual sips from lips and tongues, sliding moistly across teeth, floating around palates, and slipping deeply inside to mark the wet territory in hot, intimate probes. Breath was sampled and shared, saliva was exchanged and savored, and the heat of the embrace escalated when Gibbs gently shuffled them over and trapped the younger body against the wall, pressing one leg between Tony's thighs and holding him there in place.

And the moans continued...

Gibbs was the first to break away from the intoxicating connection, moving nothing but his mouth, keeping the rest of himself plastered firmly and continually against the hard, lean body, feeling it rock and sway in an effort to maintain contact where it mattered the most. He licked and nipped his way slowly from lips to cheek to chin, hands tightening at the back of Tony's neck and at the prominent bone of one hip, securing the squirming youth as he aimed for more tender areas. He latched his wet mouth on the heated skin just under Tony's left ear and sucked, feeling the responding shudder, hearing the lust-filled hiss from the swollen mouth, and found he had to redouble his efforts in keeping the straining body in one place.

Tony's hands were clutching at Gibbs' clothing, pulling and bunching and tugging, doing nothing in the way of removal but merely trying to hold on, to ground himself from this sudden assault, to keep himself from flying apart so soon. He tried to turn his head, to tempt Gibbs' persistent mouth away from the one area of his body that would send him to orgasm quicker than direct contact with his dick but was having no success. If anything, Gibbs' mouth sucked harder, the tongue pressing wetly, nastily, along the artery, sharp edges of his teeth worrying the skin.

"Oh, please..." he moaned and bucked under the attack, "...if you don't...stop...I'll...oh...Jethro...shit..."

Gibbs knew what he was doing, remembered the hot spots, recalled the zones, and took a moment to recapture the pleading mouth, feeling Tony open wide and take him in, teeth clicking together and tongues rolling wetly, obscenely, sliding and undulating, sending their bodies surging and rocking together. It was all so good but all Gibbs could think about was 'more'.

He released his death grip on the slim hip and worked a hand between their bodies, trying to slide the palm of his hand down to where Tony was generating the most heat. When his fingers encountered the length of Tony's dick and began to stroke it through the course fabric of his jeans, Gibbs pulled his mouth back and looked into Tony's straining face, waiting until the dazed, lust-filled eyes opened and focused before running his nails up and down the metal closure, teasing with his touch. He could see a question forming but silenced it, biting at the wet bottom lip, pushing his tongue over the reddened area and, then, somehow, stepping a few feet away.

Tony swayed drunkenly before quickly leaning back against the wall, his face clouding with confusion, breath coming in ragged pants through his open mouth. He swallowed thickly and tried to speak.

"Wh...what are ...you doing?"

Gibbs could see the panic and hurt begin anew and swiftly stepped back. "God, Tony...no. I'm not going anywhere. I just need to look at you."

He covered the youth's mouth again and they surged together, hands pulling roughly, gripping tightly, each staking their claim and trying to dominate. Gibbs got his fingers tangled in the hem of Tony's shirt and began pulling upward, the need to feel more skin almost throbbingly painful. There was another brief struggle as the item was wisked over his head and thrown to one side and then Gibbs' mouth was on a nipple, lips tormenting the flesh, tongue tracing wet patterns, and teeth worrying the skin until Tony attempted to pull away.

"No," Gibbs ordered tightly. "Let me do this. I need to taste all of you, to see you like this, to feel you under my mouth, my hands, my body..."

He continued the assualt until Tony cried out, hands pushing against the strong shoulders, hips arching with need. "God! Oh...God...I'm... not like this...not..."

Gibbs dropped lower on the straining body and mouthed the hard cock through the jeans, tasting the faint residue of laundry detergent and smelling the hint of uncovered musk. He located and pressed his flattened tongue against the wet spot at the end of the pulsing length and Tony's scent blossomed stronger, the taste of the fabric changing into something exotic and forbidden.

Gibbs pulled his mouth away and hastily reached for the zipper, looking up into Tony's face from where he kneeled on the carpeted floor. The youth's head was thrown back in surrender and the bare chest gleamed with the first dots of perspiration, and the only thing keeping him standing was the wall at his back.

"I've got to see you, Tony," Gibbs growled, fingers shaking as he worked the button loose and started to pull the zipper down. "Let me look at you...all of you."

Tony's head fell forward and the green eyes opened slowly, lids heavy and slitted. He could only nod as the man worked his fingers in between his skin and his clothes and yanked down, taking away all the barriers that divided them.

Gibbs just stared...

After all this time, through all these years, this was his first look of a fully aroused Tony DiNozzo and the sight was enough to make his mouth go dry. He fleetingly recalled an awkward moment, years ago, when a much-younger Tony had slightly hardened during the administering of some first aid but that had been nothing compared to this. *This* was how it was suppose to be. Gibbs reached out and stroked the length once, hearing Tony's plea, and held his hand steady, keeping still and watching closely.

"Tell me what you've done," he demanded hoarsely, eyes focusing on the youth's bent head. "Tony, I need to know...how far have you gone?"

"I...I...what?" Tony's brain seemed all but fried.

Gibbs hissed and rose quickly, grabbing Tony's upper arms and turning him in one movement, directing and maneuvering until the bed caught the youth at the back of his legs and forced him down. Gibbs was back on his knees, between Tony's thighs, hastily working the the rest of the items off and away, ignoring the youth's feeble attempts to make him slow down.

When he was finally bare, Gibbs was back on his feet and pushing Tony back until he was flat, long legs bent at knees and feet on the floor. The ex-Marine towered over the reclining youth and let his gaze roam hotly from head to toes, stopping to linger on certain areas until he'd had his fill. Once more, he meet Tony's gaze.

"What did you do with Kevin?" Gibbs asked, fingers beginning to slowly work at the buttons of his own shirt. "Tell me how far you went with him."

Tony seemed hypnotized by the movement of those fingers and he blinked slowly, trying to form a sensible answer. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the juvenile part of him was screaming to tell Gibbs to go fuck himself but, luckily, his mature side knew the importance of responding honestly.

"We...we never fucked," he cringed at the way the word now sounded, in this room with this man, and felt the heat of embarrassment suffuse his body. He swallowed again and tried to explain. "We used things...fingers...toys...but never our dicks."

"And what about with Cat and Josh?"

Tony's eyes widened with true surprise and he pushed himself weakly to his elbows. "How did you know about them?"

"I'm not a fool, Tony," he grinned as the shirt came open and was swiftly removed, fingers now dropping to the catch on his pants. "I knew when you told me about your 'scary movie nights' there was something more than friendship between the three of you."

"It started out innocent enough..."

"Things usually do," Gibbs agreed and stepped out of the slacks and briefs and stood in all his naked glory in front of the youth.

"Oh, God..." Tony breathed out quickly as his eyes scanned the hard, muscular body, his own cock jumping as the sight sent a sudden rush of excitement coursing to his limbs. He raised a hand and beckoned. "Come here."

Gibbs took one step closer. "You haven't answered my question."

Eyes never leaving Gibbs' hard length, Tony hadn't even been listening. "What?"

Gibbs reached out and cupped the chin, pulling upward until the eyes came to his face. "I said, what about Josh and Cat? How far do you go with them?"

"I don't 'go' with them anymore," he confessed and, seeing Gibbs' concern, just shrugged. "We hang out and all but Josh and Cat are together now and I...well, I just stopped doing the 'threesome' thing when I saw how serious they were. I think they like it better that way, too."

Gibbs smoothed his hand from chin to cheek and bent down to cover Tony's lips. The good boy had grown into a good young man.

Before the kiss could go deeper, the ex-Marine pulled back again, pushing until Tony was laying back once more, the open look in the green eyes filling the man's heart with gladness. He eased forward and rested against Tony's side, the warmth of the younger body like a magnet. Still, he held back.

"I was certain, after I saw you and Kevin together at the cabin, you'd had sex with him...penetration, I mean."

"Why would you think that?" Tony frowned, raising a hand to touch the face of the man he'd loved all his life, unable to keep his body from arching in his direction.

"He made a comment," Gibbs explained, eyes growing a little dim as he remembered. "Said something about 'giving you what you asked for' or something along that line."

"I never asked for *that*, Jethro. He knew how things were when we got together."

"Why not?" Gibbs was confused but let his own body respond to the gentle touches. "It's a normal progression. You've been sexually active for several years and, I just thought, penetration would have been the next step. Why didn't you try it with him?"

Tony's hands fell away and his face grew still, eyes taking on an odd expression that Gibbs couldn't quite recognize. Not 'hurt' exactly but something very close to it.

"You don't know?" Tony asked quietly.

"Know what, Tony?" Gibbs tried to soothe. "What am I suppose to know?"

"I've been waiting for you, Jethro," Tony confessed, closing his eyes as the words escaped, not wanting to see the reaction, once again afraid of being rejected. "I've been waiting for*you*."

Gibbs' breath caught at the simple statement and he actually thought his heart would burst with joy. He instinctively reached for the youth, gathering him close, mouth searching for it's warm, moist mate, and taking possession. This was where he was suppose to be, this was home.

And as the night progressed and the gentle kisses turned scorchingly hot, Gibbs took what Tony had protected and kept safe, carefully preparing the youth's body for it's ultimate gift, stretching slowly and lovingly, and easing into the place he never wanted to leave. He kissed away the pain and the tears and talked him through the moments of almost unbearable tension until, finally, fully joined, they managed to connect, body and soul. Gibbs moved with utmost care within Tony's body, feeling the love and the devotion, working through their joining until there were smiles and laughter and, as he brought Tony to completion, catching the aching cries of fulfillment with his mouth, Jethro Gibbs knew peace.




FIN