Don't know why I'm writing this. I never kept a diary or journal as a kid. Never saw the point of it.

Didn't need words on a page to help me remember stuff. Could do that in other ways; especially stuff I wanted to forget. But that's another story, and not one that'll find its way onto the page.

So.

I'm getting married.

I'm getting married for the fifth time.

Four times too many, some people might say. Guess they'd be right. But they'd be wrong too.

Sometimes you have to do something that's wrong, because it's right.

Three of my previous marriages were wrong. I know that. Knew it at the time. Knew it, but still went through with them, because I had to.

My first marriage was right, but for the wrong reasons.

This time things will be different.

This time I'm marrying the right person for the right reasons.

This time I'm marrying Ducky.

Oldest friend.

Oldest lover.

Closest friend.

Closest lover.

Knows me well. Maybe too well at times.

He changed status once in Scotland. Thought it was the logical place for him to change it again.

Duck thinks I've been hiding my true self all these years; maybe he's right. He usually is. In fact he is right, but he's wrong as well. Or rather he's incomplete.

Just like me without Ducky.

Good job no one else is ever going to see my sentimental ramblings. Wonder if I got that from Duck? Guess it's not a bad thing really. Not when it's about someone as important as Ducky is to me.

We're thinking about retiring when we go back. Spend more time together doing the things we want to.

We could travel more.

I could even finish a boat, or at least finish it and not destroy it. Duck could help me. He's good with his hands; well he did train a surgeon. Good with them too in other ways, but that's for me to know about, and only me.

Fifth time lucky, it'll be. Not that I'll need luck this time.

Because this time I'm marrying Ducky.

I know I already wrote that, but it looks good.

Sounds good too.

But I better not say it aloud again, or Duck'll appear from the bathroom and ask me why I'm talking to myself.

Instead I'll write it one more time.

This time I'm marring Ducky.