It had been a little like lightning. You feel the tension in the air, and once you’ve noticed, you know it’s unavoidable. And when it happens, it’s pure energy ripping through the nightly sky, illuminating it with blinding force. It’s fascinating, beautiful, yet dangerous. And then it’s over and the tension’s gone and everything is relaxed and soft for a few blissful seconds and the air smells different. And then there’s thunder.


Tony sat in his car, trying to work up the courage to go in and face his girlfriend. He didn’t really know how he had gotten into this relationship. Everything that could go wrong in a relationship had gone wrong, but then again, maybe she was just as desperate as he was. Of course he had found one of the marrying types. And not the good kind, but the kind that really, really, reeeeeally wanted to get married. After just one month, she had given him a key. He hadn’t even invited her back to his place.

However his biggest problem right now wasn’t that she was one of the clingiest girlfriends he’d ever had. In fact, she was very understanding. He didn’t really want to come here tonight but if he didn’t his whole card-house would come falling down on him. The card-house he had build and was about to build up.

He knew there was thunder to come even if she was understanding. It’s a law of nature. Where’s lightning, there’s thunder, and hell, there had been lightning that night. He didn’t know what had triggered it; what had caused the tension to finally erupt, he only knew that the tension had been building for years, and therefore the lightning had been spectacular.

She had told him to come over after work, no matter how late it was, so Tony found himself in his car, staring at the key. It was after midnight and truth be told, he had finished at the office at nine. He sighed and got out, trying to keep his raging emotions under control. He just wasn’t made for cheating, he concluded. It wasn’t the lying part. Nope, he could lie to nearly anybody; he’d even fooled Ziva on occasion - it was his own paranoia that was the problem. Or what he didn’t want to acknowledge: his conscience.

As he walked to the apartment he worried about all sorts of things. Did he have a hickey somewhere? Did he smell like sex? Did he smell like him? Tony took a deep breath, supressing all those questions and entered.

Inside it was dark, but he could see flickering light coming from the living room. He sighed slightly, she had been waiting up for him again. As he walked in he saw that she was sitting on the couch, trying hard not to fall asleep.

„Hey, you’re finally home,“ she said with a smile. Tony forced a smile on his own on his face. Well, home? Not really, but he was finally there.

„Yeah, busy day. Had to finish up with paperwork. My boss, you know,“ he muttered and stayed by the door. It wasn’t all a lie. He had had to finish up paperwork, even if he’d finished it hours ago. He knew he should go over and kiss her but he couldn’t get himself to do it. He still tasted him on his lips and he didn’t want to lose that taste. He had waited so long to finally get it.

„Everything alright?“ she asked with a slight frown. He snapped out of it and only then realized that he’d been biting on his lower lip.

„Yeah, sure, just...tough case,“ he said and finally got his feet to move. As he sat next to her, she leaned over and kissed him softly. What the hell was he doing here? He didn’t want to be here, with her. He wanted to be back there with him.

Her kiss became more purposeful and he knew where it was supposed to lead. He quickly ended it and cleared his throat. „You know, I’ll just go and grab a shower...“ he said and stood up. He didn’t look back, he already knew that she had a disappointed expression on her face.

He quickly stripped himself off and started the shower. The water was still cold and it was exactly what he needed. He needed to cool off, to calm down. Freaking out wouldn’t help anyone. She was nice enough and he wouldn’t go and risk losing this just because of one stupid night. Because that’s what it was, one stupid night. Not even a night, just a few hours. The moment it was over, or rather a few seconds later, the other man was fast asleep, and Tony didn’t blame him for that, he had problems staying awake too. So Tony quickly dressed and went out. He was sure he didn’t want to wake up next to him anyway.

He turned on the hot water, letting it warm up until it was steaming hot. No matter how much soap he used, he was still sure he had his scent on him. And then there was this woman who apparently wanted to have sex with him tonight. How the hell was he supposed to do that? It wasn’t a question of stamina; he could get hard right now just thinking of what he had done over the last few hours, but he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on her, give her satisfaction, be with her in his mind. And for him, that was a much bigger crime than cheating.




The next morning Tony was tired as hell when he went into the office. Somehow, he had managed to convince her that he was simply too tired to have sex and she had fallen asleep rather quickly. He, on the other hand, lay awake nearly all night, thinking.

He wasn’t exactly looking forward to the day but he knew calling in sick would only make it worse, not in the least because he would have to explain it to her and him. As he sat behind his desk, he barely mumbled a greeting to his co-workers and started his computer.

„DINOZZO!“ The shout rang through the bullpen and Tony silently wondered how fucked he was. He turned and saw Gibbs coming down the stairs from the director’s office. Well, a meeting with Vance couldn’t have helped Gibbs’ mood.

„You’re with me,“ Gibbs said forcefully once he reached Tony’s desk. Tony supressed a sigh and followed Gibbs to the elevator. He wasn’t really surprised that they didn’t even make one floor before Gibbs hit the emergency stop button.

„You were gone fast last night,“ Gibbs said, and looked at Tony with that unreadable glare.

„Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want me to stay,“ Tony replied, trying to look at Gibbs but not quite able to manage it. When he finally did, he saw Gibbs‘ eyes narrow.

„I think you had another reason to leave.“ Gibbs’ tone was even, which made him even more dangerous. He got a little closer to Tony.

„What did you tell her?“ Gibbs asked in a tone of voice that demanded an honest answer.

„Her?“ Tony asked, hoping Gibbs didn’t hear his heart, because he thought it would set off any seismograph in the area.

„I can smell her perfume on you, Tony,“ Gibbs said and once more, he was very quiet and controlled. Tony shivered.

„I...“ He tried to figure out what to say. Gibbs hadn’t known that he was involved with someone. Actually Gibbs had asked him last night. After the first rough kiss against the wall of the elevator â€" Tony’s eyes sought out the wall and he had to concentrate hard to get his thoughts back on track â€" Gibbs had asked him if he was involved with anyone else. Tony, of course, still dazzled from the kiss, had said no.

„You lied to me about having a girlfriend? Why?“ Gibbs proceeded his questioning, his voice taking on the annoyed tone that he had when a suspect didn’t supply the information he wanted.

„Because...“ God, why on earth couldn’t he form a damn sentence any more?

„You lied to me about having a girlfriend, and then you ran out on me when I fell asleep. Real smooth, DiNozzo.“

Tony looked up. Back to last name, that couldn’t be good. Eight years and he had held off on those feelings for Gibbs because he was protecting himself, but after last night Tony couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything left to protect. Gibbs wouldn’t fire him â€" not now anyway. As soon as he did the slightest mistake Tony would be history. So when Gibbs shook his head and slapped the button again, setting the elevator in motion, Tony reached over and stopped it again. Gibbs turned to him with a raised eyebrow.

„I lied to you about having a girlfriend because I knew that it wouldn’t happen if I told you. And if it hadn’t happened last night, it probably wouldn’t have happened...ever. I mean, hell, I waited eight years for this, do you seriously think I’d pass on that chance just because there’s some woman I’m sharing a bed with so I’m not alone at night?“ Actually, Tony was a little surprised by the words that came out of his own mouth. But then again, if he fell, he’d fall dancing. He wouldn’t let Gibbs go without telling him what he had held back for all those years.

„I left when you were asleep because I was sure you only wanted a one night stand. I mean, the way you acted...it didn’t inspire much hope. I have no illusions that you’re my prince in shining armour and we’re going to ride into the sunset together...I just wanted it for so damn long...“ Tony knew that his desperation was clear in his voice, but he really didn’t care anymore. Gibbs just stared at him with those icy blue eyes.

„I told her that I had to finish up paperwork. So, yeah, call me a cheater, call me a liar, but while I wouldn’t pass on the opportunity to be fucked by you, I won’t throw away a relationship for a one time thing.“ Tony took a deep breath and licked his lips. „I have never done this before, and...I’m not saying it was right but...I needed it because it was something she couldn’t give me.“

„You mean sex with a man? Getting fucked?“ Gibbs asked. There was a slight change in his stance but otherwise he didn’t give anything away, as usual.

„God, no...I mean...sure, obviously she can’t really give me what a man can in a physical sense, but that’s not what I meant...“ And here comes the hardest part. „No one made me feel like you did with one kiss, not ever.“ Tony looked away from Gibbs, trying to explain. „I mean...you’re like a force of nature. You’re like a storm...like an earthquake. No one’s able to control you and you’re intimidating but you’re also exciting...and when you’re done everything’s messed up,“ Tony said bitterly.

Gibbs frowned slightly. „That’s a pretty accurate description...if I tried to break you in interrogation.“

„No, Gibbs, for fuck’s sake! This is what you’ve been doing to me all those years! You stormed into my life, and damnit! With everyone else I would have left ages ago. You yell at me and all I think is how hot you look when you’re like that. I never really managed to figure out whether you’re going to be mad at me or give me an attaboy! You’re unpredictable, Gibbs. And I sure as hell don’t know why that’s such a turn on for me!“ Tony was nearly yelling and it took all his self control to not just cry out loud.

„You think you’re any better?“ Gibbs asked angrily.

„What?“ Tony was confused, to say the least.

„You’re no less a force of nature than me! Hell, when I hired you back in Baltimore I thought you were energetic. I had no fucking idea! You came here like a tornado and you turned my life upside-down! Believe me, Tony, there has never been any agent who has enraged me as much as you do and still, everytime I think about kicking your ass to the street, you smile that goddamn 100 watt smile at me and give me the information I wanted and fuck, you proved to be, while the most annoying, also the best agent I’ve ever worked with.“ Gibbs took a breath after his rant. „I’m used to being attracted to people who argue with me, who stand by their positions...“

„Hence all the redheads...“ Tony muttered and immediately regretted it.

„You’re not like them. I never genuinely cared about them. Not the way I care about you. I have no idea how you did it, I surely didn’t just let you, but you wormed your way into my heart like only one person did before â€" and yet in a totally different way.“

Tony looked at Gibbs with big eyes.

„So...where does that put us?“

Gibbs sighed.

„You said you don’t wanna risk a relationship for a one time thing...you’d end that relationship for one with me? You gotta be aware of the risks. As exciting as earthquakes and storms and tournadoes can be...most of the time they’re just disasterous.“

Tony swallowed hard.

„I’ll talk to her tonight.“

Gibbs smiled that smile Tony loved so much and he felt himself respond with a wide grin. Gibbs chuckled and then leant in for a short affectionate kiss.


Tony knew that moment that there would be a lot of lightning in his life. But there’s always the calm after the storm.