That night Tony laid in bed for hours thinking about what Ziva had told him about finding a way to tell Jeanne the truth.
But that was easier said than done... he decided to wait a while before letting her know how he feels.
" Tony? " Jeanne said rolling over to face Tony.
" Yeah? " Tony said turning his head to face her.
" You..uhh. seem a bit quiet. Are you alright? " Jeanne asked laying her head on her hand.
" I'm just worried about Ziva... that's all. " Tony said sadly.
But unfortunately that was not all, in the process of these thoughts he was debating whether to tell Jeanne now or wait for a while until he felt it was the right time to tell her... until.
" Jeanne? " Tony asked.
" Yes Tony. " Jeanne replied hoping he would say something nice.
" I love Ziva..." Tony blurted out.
" I know she's your best friend..." Jeanne started before Tony cut her off.
" No Jeanne, I really love her. I.... I told her... uhh... tonight before I left. " Tony said looking down at the bed.
" You lied to me. " Jeanne started.
" No Jeanne I didn't. I really did love you, but after we moved in together I started to think more clearly. " Tony said quickly.
" Clearly?! About what? " Jeanne said crossing her arms and turning over.
" My true feelings for someone else. I had a talk with Ziva the other week after I got off the phone with you. She told me to not to hide from my feelings and to find out what my heart truly desires. " Tony said putting his hand on Jeanne' shoulder.
" She sounds wise... :" Jeanne said with a mad tone.
" She is... but Jeanne I am not trying to lie to you I am trying to be honest with you. People say 'You never know what you lost until you've lost it' well I almost lost Ziva and I never felt more scared in my life thinking she was going to die. I then realized I loved her. " Tony said hoping she would understand.
Jeanne just rolled her head back over and just started to cry.
Tony put a hand over her shoulder to try and comfort her but she just yelled at him.
" *she says raising her voice* This is what we deserve after all we have done together? *starts to talk sadly and cries more * What about the time you told me you loved me when you came crying to me. I love you Tony and you told me you loved me. You partner is hurt... she will live. Don't leave me Tony, please... " Jeanne said while crying.
Tony could not bare to see Jeanne crying and he lightly pecked her on the cheek and walked out without a word but with an explanation at least.
But Jeanne still knew why Tony left her... he left her for someone he truly loved.
Tony got in his car and drove started to drive back to the hospital but he thought he didn't want to wake up Ziva... he decided he would leave early to be there when she wakes up. Tony was thinking sub-conciously why he had lied to himself for so long and no good explanation came to his mind. Tony drove down the innerstate, it was late and the lights flashed in his eyes blinding his sight for a few seconds but it did not bother him because the only thing on his mind was Ziva's condition.
Tony pulled into his driveway and turned off his car and sat for a few minutes thinking if he should around and head to Bethesda but he knew he needed sleep and the hospital would call if anything went wrong.
Tony slipped into bed and before he knew it he was drifting off to sleep and thinking that he can't wait till morning to see Ziva again.
********************* Start Tony's Dream ***********************
" I Love you! " Tony said kissing Ziva gently but with passion.
* Next flash *
"I Love you too," Ziva said with a more natural voice but still a little bit quiet.. " Does Jeanne know about your feelings?" Ziva asked Tony lifting up his head slightly.
* Next flash *
" Remember the day I told you that you were hiding behind all these jokes and I know what you're hiding from being hurt? " Ziva asked him with a more expression, because this was a serious conversation to her and she had to know if his intentions were true.
* Next Flash *
" When I told you this I wanted you to see clearly and find your true feelings. Follow your heart, never let your thinking tell you differently because only your heart knows what you want more than anything. Tony you have to find a way to tell Jeanne the truth." Ziva said staring at Tony with a look of love and a soft smile.
Tony looked up into her eyes and smiled at her.
" I know what my heart wants... and I have got her right in front of me. " Tony said as he took Ziva's hand. " Ever since you had that conversation with me by the staircase after I ended my phone call with Jeanne. I thought of the one who I could not stand to live without to the one I could see me leaving in the future, so I saved myself that heartache and let my heart decide. "
******************** End of Tony's Dream ***********************
Author's Chapter Notes:
After Tony leaves he makes a tough decision but knows it was right.