Even though he'd promised not to go more than five miles, Tony knew his going running would worry Gibbs. Until getting the plague, how far he went hadn't ever been a serious issue. And it wasn't much of an issue now…most of the time.
Tony shook his head. It wasn't like he meant to lose track of how far he'd gone or deliberately pushed himself too hard. Most of the time, when he over did it, he hadn't made a conscious decision to do so. He got into a rhythm and simply shut his brain off, moving on autopilot. Or he would be so focused on what had him running in the first place Tony forgot everything else, concentrating on the problem not on how far or how fast he ran.
Tony turned off the street and on to his usual path through the park, stride still relaxed and easy as he jogged. His breath fogged in front of him. The chilly air burned slightly with each inhale.
It felt good to be back on his home turf. Geographically it wasn't that far from New York , but for all intents and purposes, D.C. might as well be on the other side of the world as far as his family was concerned. They'd seemed content to ignore him for years, so Tony didn't think even with the dissolution of his father's estate still unsettled any of them would be willing put for the effort to get in touch with him. Especially not in light of Gibbs' promise to treat any attempt to contact him as a hostile action and respond accordingly. Tony was confident no one in that room had any doubts about Gibbs' ability to make good on his promise.
Memories of that moment still gave Tony a heady sense of security and confidence.
To have someone like Gibbs in his corner had been decidedly reassuring. It was better than knowing he was armed.
And he was grateful Vinnie knew how to handle the rest. He trusted Vinnie to know what to do with his family's attorneys. At least they hadn't acted like toddlers throwing temper tantrums over having to share their toys. He wondered if the other attorneys been as surprised as he was by how quickly the DiNozzo family's behavior had degenerated in Litiz's office. Given how quiet they'd all been, it was possible.
It was also possible they were afraid to get into the ring while their clients were still going at one another. Tony couldn't really blame them. It was rather like watching a train wreck happen in slow motion. Tony didn't think anyone other than Gibbs could have brought a halt the growing chaos; everyone else was either involved in the fray or dumbfounded by it. Tony idly wondered what happened after they left. Part of him really didn't care one way or the other. He'd washed his hands of them and he had no regrets.
Vinnie had promised to keep in touch when he dropped them off at the airport. There hadn't been any news the first week. It made Tony think that maybe his family had decided to wait to find out if Sandra's fetus was a DiNozzo before they did anything, or maybe they were still squabbling with one another and hadn't gotten around to considering what to do with Tony.
The second week, Vinnie had called to let him know the family had begun negotiating more seriously, but no firm offer was made. He also sent an article in the Wall Street Journal which mentioned Anthony DiNozzo Sr.'s death. It quoted a company spokesman who stated that control of the company was still firmly held by various family members with a long history in the business. It was the typical sort of non-information Tony expected to see in print. It reassured the stock market and stock holders that it was business as usual no matter who was at the helm.
He picked up his pace, legs stretching out to reach further and faster. The team had worked three new cases during those two weeks and had helped another team close a fourth. Staying busy made it easy to forget the passage of time. One day morphed so smoothly into another he could ignore the lack of news and pretend nothing had really changed.
Tony smirked to himself, veering off to the left when the path forked. It had taken three weeks to convince Abby hacking into his family's financial records and ruining their credit or draining their bank accounts was not a good idea. McGee had joined Abby's side. He had argued rather effectively for the idea. Although the techno babble McGee used to showcase not only how it could be done and that they wouldn't get caught lost Tony after a few seconds. Ducky had even joined in, startling Tony with his uncharacteristic hostility. It wasn't like the older man to harbor so much antipathy toward people he'd never met…unless they'd done something that resulted in putting a body in Ducky's morgue.
In hindsight, Tony realized he shouldn't have been so surprised by their reaction to hearing about how his family had behaved during the will reading. Gibbs had invited Ducky, McGee and Abby over the day after they returned from New York and had given them a rundown of events. Their outrage on his behalf was heartening…and not a little frightening when he let himself think about what they could and would do for him.
He was glad Gibbs had sufficient discretion not to share anything Tony had told him about his childhood even though he hadn't directly asked the former Marine to stay silent on the subject. Tony knew the others understood his childhood was far from ideal, but he still wasn't comfortable with them knowing the specifics. He didn't want any pity, or for them to treat him differently because of it. And Tony wasn't sure he could have talked Abby out of doing something really drastic, especially if Gibbs gave her anything that even hinted at permission.
The one who'd truly astonished him was Ziva. He wasn't sure how exactly she knew she hadn't been invited to the gathering Gibbs had called, but she definitely knew about it. While she hadn't said anything to him directly, it was obvious she'd been hurt by the exclusion. The way she'd looked at him made him feel like a heel. He might not completely trust her when it came to the true nature of his relationship with Gibbs, but Tony couldn't help feeling like he owed her more. She was a teammate…someone he liked, almost a friend. She'd offered silent understanding and support when he'd requested the time off for the funeral. The least he could do was let her know how it went.
So he'd invited her along on a coffee and Caf-Pow run during one of their slower mornings, and took the opportunity to fill her in on what happened in New York. It was oddly therapeutic to do so. Gibbs had done most of the talking when it came to bringing the others up to speed, and while grateful at the time, Tony found having a chance to talk about it with Ziva allowed him to more fully express how it all made him feel.
The others thought his father was an ass and deserved to rot in hell. And for the most part they were right. The man's death didn't represent any great loss, but he was still Tony's father. Ziva's mixed emotions toward her own father gave her a more personal understanding of his ambiguous feelings about Anthony DiNozzo Sr. She didn't think it odd that he felt vaguely guilty for not caring more that his father was dead. Nor did she wonder why Tony had regrets about not making peace before his father died even though he didn't have a clue what he'd have said to the man if given the chance to actually speak to him. She got that he didn't hate his father, any more than he loved him. And she could empathize with how bizarre it felt to be more concerned with the welfare of strangers than he was about his blood relatives.
When Ziva heard about Abby and McGee's idea to sabotage his family's finances she thought it an excellent suggestion. Although, her proposed modifications to the plan were a bit more direct…and bloody. Tony was glad she hadn't voiced those when the others were around. It was far too likely they might agree.
Tony remembered Ziva's angry look when his mouth gaped in blatant surprise at her being so hostile on his behalf. She'd glared at him. "What? You don't think I could do it?"
"Didn't think you would," he had told her without thinking. That she was capable of lethal action was never in doubt.
"Why not?" Her anger faded, leaving her looking hurt. "You were not surprised by Abby or McGee willing to go to club for you."
"Bat," Tony had corrected her automatically. "Go to bat for me." He'd shaken his head, amused by her continuing struggle with colloquialisms. He shrugged one shoulder when she demanded an answer to her question. "They actually like me."
She'd sat back, eyes wide. "You think I don't like you?"
"Not well enough to kill for," Tony had told her honestly. It wasn't like she shared secrets with him or they had common interests. She'd never said so directly, but Tony was sure she'd dismissed him as a lightweight, a jock getting by on good looks and luck alone. Her surprise at how well he handled himself while they were undercover as married assassins was proof of that.
Her expression had gone painfully neutral. Her eyes had dropped when she disclosed she was sometimes at a loss for how to really fit in with the team. She wasn't used to working with people for longer than a few weeks at a time. Being the daughter of a high ranking Mossad officer made her unwelcome for long because other people feared receiving greater scrutiny from above. And they often assumed she was there to spy on them for her father. It had made establishing any sort of real rapport with her coworkers decidedly difficult to do.
Tony was stunned when she apologized for not telling him before that she enjoyed working with him. She told him she liked how he made her laugh, something she hadn't done much of before joining NCIS. Ziva even went so far as to tell him she respected his ability as an agent. It had been literally a new beginning for them. And Tony considered it one of the better things that came out of his father's death.
Tony pushed himself to maintain the same pace as he headed uphill. He was breathing hard but still moving easily. He wished he was as close to settling things in his mind as he was to reaching the maximum distance Gibbs had imposed on his run.
After a month, he'd put the will and his father out of his mind…mostly. Conversation with Vinnie focused more on their usual topics of sports, work, and friends. He trusted Vinnie to tell him anything he needed to know when he needed to know it, which was what had him running now. There was a message on the machine. It wasn't long, and didn't say anything specific, but the tone in Vinnie's voice made it obvious whatever he wanted to talk about was important.
Tony needed a clear head before the talked to Vinnie. He needed to be ready whatever Vinnie had to tell him.
Tony added a burst of speed as he crested the hill and the ground flattened out. Being totally cut out of the will wouldn't be the worst. Vinnie would fight hard against it, but Tony didn't really want that. It wasn't like he'd expected to get anything at all. Nothing much in his life would change if he didn't get any money. And nothing much would change if he did get any.
Anything he received was already earmarked for charity. St. Jude's Children's Hospital, The Cancer Research Foundation, American Museum of Natural History, Marine Corps Heritage Foundation, and the National Trust for Historic Preservation would all benefit. It was just a question of how much each one would receive.
The money wasn't what worried him. No. What really worried Tony was Sandra DuPre's unborn child. Vinnie said she was in her second trimester. It would still be months before Tony knew if her child was his sibling, cousin or unrelated. That left things hanging…because the outcome would affect what they could do for the child.
Having to fight his family to make sure his sibling didn't grow up the way he had would be tough. He couldn't see them actually giving a damn about the child; they would only want control of the money and real estate the child inherited. Tony knew Sandra would fight tooth and nail to maintain control of that largesse too. The child was clearly nothing to everyone else but a payoff, which made the possibility of Tony getting custody decidedly unlikely.
He didn't think Sandra would object to visitation though. A small child would no doubt cramp the lifestyle she wanted to become accustomed to. He was hoping he could be there for the child the way Aunt Sully had been there for him. Child welfare laws had more teeth now than they did when Tony was a child. If he saw or heard anything that wasn't kosher, he could do more to ensure the safety of this child than just summers away from home.
He found himself looking forward to showing the kid all the neat places Sully had shown him every summer; national parks, museums, monuments, Disney World. He might even get a chance to spend holidays and birthdays with him or her. Tony hadn't said anything to Gibbs. He'd stayed silent about it not because he didn't think Gibbs would help out or want to spend time with a little kid. His lover was great with children. It was more that he was afraid of getting his own hopes up. And saying anything out loud might jinx everything.
If the child proved to be his cousin, things would be harder. There was no guarantee Gabriel would claim the child. If he didn't, what Tony could or couldn't do depended heavily on Sandra. Tony was pretty sure he could still look out for the child, arrange some sort of visitation…with financial compensation. She was too much of a gold digger to turn down money when it wouldn't cost her much of anything.
If Gabriel did claim the child as his, Tony wasn't sure he'd have the money or standing to argue with him. Or if he should. He'd washed his hands of the rest of his family, barely knew any of his cousins. He wasn't sure it was wise to get involved over this one. But he'd been a child himself when his other cousins had been growing up. There wasn't much he could have done to help them. He was an adult now. He couldn't see himself voluntarily allowing this child to suffer when he could do something about it.
Even if the child wasn't related to Tony, he felt like he owed it something. Sandra had probably planned to get pregnant to extort money from Anthony DiNozzo Sr. The child would never have been conceived if she hadn't been hoping to use it as the key to the kingdom. He didn't want another innocent to suffer for his father's actions. But if unrelated, Tony knew he'd have no standing for visitation and no claim for custody.
Vinnie had been working on options. He might be able to convince her to relinquish any parental rights to the child, essentially allowing Tony to foster the child…for the right price. No matter what Tony was able to get from his father's estate, short of nothing at all, his payoff would be more than Sandra would get if the child wasn't a DiNozzo. Basically buying the baby would be less valid than adoption, but had a better chance of success. Unmarried with a career in law enforcement with no real experience with children didn't exactly make Tony a promising candidate for adoption. Gibbs had plenty of experience with children, his own home and including both their incomes they would qualify financially to adopt as a couple, except for them being gay. As a gay couple, their chances of adopting were even worse than Tony's chances alone.
There was so much unknown. Tony wasn't sure what he was really hoping for. He thought running would help him figure it out, but so far he felt more like he was just covering the same issues over and over again.
Tony considered running longer, but he'd promised Gibbs. He looped back through the park, hurdling one of the benches with ease. Running hadn't helped him settling anything but at least he felt calmer, a little more ready to face whatever it was Vinnie had to tell him.
Tony slowed to a walk as he neared Gibbs' house. He did a few stretches before heading inside. He was somewhat surprised not to see Gibbs pacing the floor. Tony cocked his head, listening. He could hear sounds coming from the basement.
Unable to decide if that was good or bad, Tony hesitated at the top of the stairs. The former Marine had been every bit as edgy as Tony since hearing Vinnie's message. Discretion was the better part of valor, Tony told himself with a wry smile, choosing to take a shower rather than head into the basement. The pipes made enough noise Gibbs would know he was home.
Tony would have preferred to linger in the shower, but he knew that would be just putting off the inevitable rather than actually enjoying himself. So he kept it short, staying in only long enough to ensure he was clean before getting out. He toweled off before heading into the master bedroom to get dressed. He picked out a pair of heavy, fleece lined sweatpants and a USMC sweatshirt that had belonged to Gibbs before Tony claimed it as his own. He pulled on a pair of thick wool socks and then headed out to the living room. He wasn't surprised to see Gibbs already there, coffee mug in hand.
"You have a good run?"
"Was all right." Tony sighed. He would have liked to have gone longer, and still felt an urge to just…move…but he'd promised.
Gibbs put his coffee down on the end table and pulled Tony into a hug. "It'll be okay."
"I know." Tony hugged him back. As long as he had Gibbs, friends, his job, he could handle everything else…eventually. "At least…maybe…now it will be settled and done with." Not that he really believed that but he hoped for it just the dame.
"You want me to call, Vinnie?"
"I'll do it." Tony kissed Gibbs' cheek before pulling away.
He'd gotten Gibbs a newer phone not long after he started spending more time at his house. The old rotary thing his lover had was an antique. Gibbs had agreed to a cordless with a caller ID display but wanted no other ‘stupid gizmos'. Tony had gotten the simplest one to be found, and he was grateful it had a speaker option. It would save having to repeat what Vinnie told him.
Tony sat on the couch. He was relieved when Gibbs sat next to him. He had wanted to ask, but he didn't want to appear too needy.
Vinnie answered on the second ring. "This is Vinnie."
"Vinnie, it's Tony. Hope you don't mind, but I have you on speaker." The speaker often gave everything an odd echo sort of quality that some people hated, and Tony thought it only fair to warn his friend.
"Speaker is fine." Vinnie hesitated for a moment. "Gibbs with you?"
"I'm here."
"Good."
Tony winced. That didn't sound positive. For Vinnie to think Gibbs needed to be present meant it was definitely bad news. Might as well get it over with, Tony thought. "Tell me the bad news."
Vinnie sighed. "I'm not sure what constitutes bad in this case."
Gibbs frowned heavily. Tony leaned heavily into him when Gibbs wrapped an arm around him. "Explain that," Gibbs ordered.
Tony didn't have to see Vinnie to know he was biting his lower lip. He was obviously looking for a way to word what he wanted to say. "Vinnie…just start at the beginning."
"I got a call today around one. Sandra DuPre had been admitted Mount Sinai Hospital. She was bleeding heavily."
Tony froze. If it was a cut from a broken glass or something equally minor Vinnie wouldn't have called. This had to be more serious. Had she been in an accident? Mugged? Attacked by one of his family? He opened his mouth to ask, but no words came out. It was Gibbs who asked what he needed to know.
"What happened?"
"She had a miscarriage."
Tony took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He knew, intellectually, those happened. During a case a few years ago that focused on an ensign who'd killed herself because she'd lost her baby Ducky rambled at length on the statistics which showed an average of one in five pregnancies ended with a miscarriage. It was estimated that nearly 800,000 each year happened in the United States alone. Tony shook his head. It didn't seem possible. In all his thinking about this child, it never occurred to him it would be anything but whole and healthy.
"Is Sandra okay?" Tony asked, his voice sounded tight in his own ears.
"She'll be fine. Believe me." There was something in Vinnie's tone that prompted Tony's next question.
"You went to see her?"
"Yeah." Vinnie cleared his throat. "She was more pissed at a golden opportunity lost than upset over the death of her child. She was insisting on a DNA test. She wanted proof the child was still an heir. And how much she was still entitled to."
Tony's jaw tightened. "Was it…"
"He," Vinnie inserted clearly aware of what Tony wanted to know. "The baby was a boy. And no, he was not your brother or you cousin."
Tony shook his head. It was hard to adjust his mental picture. In his head, the child had been a little sister with little blonde pig tails and bright green eyes, always happy to see him. Or maybe a little girl with dark hair in a braid, blue eyes lighting up when she saw her favorite uncle. He swallowed hard.
"DNA takes longer to confirm than just a few hours," Gibbs stated. If anyone knew how long it took it was Gibbs. The man hounded Abby constantly for quicker results.
"DNA , does, yes. But blood type, no. The child was B Negative. Sandra is O Positive."
"Same as my father and my uncle." Tony whispered. There was no way the baby could be either of theirs. It would have been O Positive as well.
Vinnie sounded like he was grimacing when he spoke again. "Doctors think that mismatch in RH factor was what caused her to miscarry. If she'd gotten it checked they could have given her something to help her carry the child full term."
Tony frowned, recalling more details Ducky had been spouting off. It really was astonishing how much of what the ME went on about stuck with him. "But for that cause a miscarriage that would mean she—"
"Had a child before," Vinnie finished for him. "She did. Gave it up for adoption six months after giving birth. Probably did that one a favor. I'm sure it was better off being raised by someone else."
Tony couldn't help but agree. Sandra was probably more like Tony's mother than not.
He closed his eyes. Tony raised a hand to absently rub at the dull ache that formed in his chest. The loss of his fantasy about being a big brother or a favorite uncle hurt worse than losing his father. It wasn't until now he realized just how much he'd been looking forward to that.
It was probably better this way, he told himself. While he thought he could be as good as Aunt Sully, but there was no way to know for sure. Little kids hated him. He was okay with teenagers…in small doses, but he didn't know anything about small children. At least nothing worthwhile. He could make sure there were good memories of Halloween, maybe give advice on clothes and cars, but he didn't know anything about the important stuff. No…Tony took a deep breath…it was definitely better this way. It had to be the right thing to hurt this much.
He shivered, curling in closer to Gibbs. He was vaguely aware that Gibbs and Vinnie were still talking, but Tony had no idea what was being said. All he really understood was Gibbs telling Vinnie he'd call him back, and Vinnie saying something about taking care of him.
"Tony?"
"Yeah?"
"You okay?"
Tony wanted to say he was fine. He just shook his head, burying his face in Gibbs' chest. His eyes watered, and he struggled to hold in his grief the way he had so many times before. He kept waiting for Gibbs to say something, to tell him to suck it up and quit being such a baby. The loss of a child he never knew shouldn't have this level of impact.
Gibbs just held him, rocking back and forth in a soothing rhythm, one hand patting his back. "I know, Tony. I know."
That gentle compassion undid him. Tony's control evaporated, silent tears streamed down his face to soak Gibbs' t-shirt. He cried for the dream he'd lost. He shed tears he'd never felt he could for Sully and for Kate. For every time his mother hurt him and no one seemed to care. For having never said good-bye to his father. For the overwhelming terror of nearly dying several times and being unable to give into it because he needed to be strong. Tears for nearly losing Abby to her stalker ex-boyfriend, and Paula being taken by a serial killer joined the mix.
For the first time in his life, Tony cried himself out, safe in the warm embrace of someone who understood.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Some closure on the family front.