Given what he'd be facing today, and everything he and Gibbs had talked about last night, Tony had expected to sleep badly, if he slept at all. To his surprise, he'd found himself waking at his usual time, feeling decidedly well rested having slept a solid six hours. Maybe Joe had been right all along, talking about it did help.
Although it was probably having someone he trusted to talk to that made the biggest difference. It was certainly easier than he'd expected to share bits and pieces of his past with Gibbs. Neither of them had needed the drinks he ordered. But Tony wasn't sorry he gotten them. After the funeral, he might well need some fortification.
Out of habit more so than need Tony checked his appearance in the full length mirror to make sure everything was exactly as it should be. The simple white shirt he wore was starched just enough to keep it crisp despite being packed in the garment bag for hours. Its pristine color was a stark contrast to the solid black of his pants and jacket. The silver threads in his vest matched the small silver diamond decorations on his otherwise black silk tie. Freshly polished black Italian leather shoes completed the ensemble.
Tony wondered if he'd be keeping the suit or burning it later. He decided he'd wait to see how the funeral went before deciding.
"You ready?"
Tony glanced to where Gibbs waited. Like Tony, the older man had on a black suit with a white shirt. Gibbs had forgone a vest but his tie had a pattern similar to the one Tony wore. Instead of silver diamonds it had light blue which was nearly identical to the color of Gibbs' eyes. That was the reason Tony had bought it in the first place. He loaned it to Gibbs one day and after deciding it looked better on the older man than it did on him, he never bothered to ask for it back.
Tony sighed. "I hate funerals."
"No one likes funerals."
"True." Tony looked at his reflection one final time. He was glad he'd gotten his hair cut a week ago. Keeping it shorter had been a good idea.
Tony squared his shoulders, unconsciously shifting so he could feel the weight of his gun securely holstered on his hip. His jacket had been specifically tailored to hide the weapon so there was no revealing bulge or tell-tale sign he had it. Tony didn't expect to need it; he just couldn't bring himself to leave it behind. He had gotten so used to the weight and feel of it, without it he felt exposed, under dressed no matter what he was wearing. Like his badge, it just went everywhere with him.
"Tony?" Gibbs put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing once.
"I'm ready." Or as ready as I'll ever be, Tony amended silently.
Gibbs nodded. He squeezed Tony's shoulder again before letting go.
They left the room together taking elevator to the first floor. There were a number of people in the lobby, all dressed in shades of gray or black. More mourners for the funeral no doubt, Tony thought with a silent, derisive snort. Some he knew had to be business associates and a few were definitely out of town family. And he doubted any of them were truly sorry Anthony DiNozzo Sr. was dead.
Tony shook his head. When his time came, he really hoped his own funeral was attended by people who gave a damn when he was alive or no one at all showed up. Either was preferable to this grand, meaningless display. It would only get bigger when the got to the church, of that Tony was certain.
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. Tony shrugged one shoulder, eyes flicking around the room to encompass all the people milling about. Icy blue eyes measured them all with a glance and clearly dismissed them as unimportant. It made Tony smile a little at how rapidly his lover came to the same conclusion he had.
As they headed for the front door, Tony let Gibbs take the lead, slipping into his usual place a half step or so behind the older man. He kept an eye out for anyone he might recognize while trying not to look like he was scoping them out. He didn't want to attract attention, and he sure as hell didn't want to talk to anyone.
Several people looked their way, but no one seemed to really notice either of them. No reason they should. And Tony wanted to keep it that way.
He wasn't involved with the family business nor did he have access to the family fortune. There was no real point in anyone who was seeking favor or attention on those fronts to bother with him. Tony hoped his father's will hadn't left him any interest in the company; getting rid of it would be a major pain in the ass. But keeping it wasn't an option Tony would entertain. Pain in the ass or not, anything his father had left him wouldn't be in Tony's possession for long. Money at least could be readily disposed of. Tony already had a number of charities he regularly donated to. Whatever his father might have left him would make for a bigger than usual contribution.
The limo was waiting for them outside. The driver stood by the passenger side door. He tipped his head to them, clearly having been briefed on who his passengers were to be today.
"Good morning." The driver greeted them politely, a hint of a southern accent coloring his voice. Tony just nodded to the man, accepting his greeting but not returning it. Gibbs did the same.
The driver opened the door for them. Tony eyed the dark interior warily. He distrusted vehicles with tinted windows. They'd held too many surprises in the past.
He slid in, relieved to find no one else would be sharing the limo with them. Tony wouldn't have put it past any of his relatives to use the ride to the church as a way to get a look at the possible heir to his father's fortune. Danny wasn't the only one who likely harbored curiosity about the only son no one had seen in years.
And while Danny hadn't had any ulterior motives, Tony was sure other family members wouldn't be so neutral. Most of them had no doubt forged alliances and plans of action for how to challenge the will if it didn't give them all they felt they were owed, or how to jockey for a coveted position with the new power broker. It made him tired just thinking about it.
Gibbs sat next to him, waiting until the door was closed to take Tony's hand. He wove their fingers together.
They didn't speak on the way to the church. Tony knew his silence worried Gibbs. He'd been far quieter than normal ever since he'd gotten up, but he just didn't have much to say. His lack of appetite worried Gibbs too, Tony knew. He had picked at his breakfast, unable to do more than eat half a piece of toast and finish a small glass of orange juice.
Tony looked out the window. He felt like he should know the area, but after so many years, it didn't look familiar. So much had changed in the time he'd been gone. Oddly, that observation didn't bother him. He may have grown up here, but it wasn't home anymore. No…home was really with Gibbs. And the people who mattered were McGee, Abby and Ducky.
Tony squeezed Gibbs' hand. He resisted the urge to lay his head on Gibbs' shoulder. He wasn't worried about being seen---the smoked glass between them and the rest of the world and even the driver was enough to ensure privacy. He was afraid if he leaned on Gibbs now, he wouldn't be able to stop.
"It's going to be a typical Catholic funeral," Tony said quietly. He couldn't remember if he'd told Gibbs that or not. But it was something the man should probably know. Catholic funerals could be long, drawn out affairs.
Gibbs grunted. "Mass and all?"
"Yeah." Tony sighed.
A full Mass wasn't required for every funeral and many people opted out of it, finding the full regalia unnecessary and exhausting. The hypocrisy of his father wanting all the pomp and circumstance the Church could provide when he rarely attended Mass wasn't lost on Tony. At least Kate had been a true believer. She'd deserved to have whatever she thought essential to see her soul to heaven.
"Won't matter what kind of funeral he has." Gibbs whispered. "He's still going to burn in hell."
Tony was pretty sure the older man hadn't meant for him to hear that so he ignored it. It wasn't like he hadn't thought similar things himself. He wasn't sure when he'd realized Anthony DiNozzo Sr. wasn't a good man or even a good father.
For much of his early life, Tony had been rather shy, wary of people in general. He wasn't nearly as outgoing then as he was now, so he didn't get invited to spend time in his classmates' homes which gave him little opportunity to compare his family to anyone else's. All he'd known was that his family wasn't anything like what he saw on TV and in the movies. At some point Tony adopted characters like Thomas Magnum as his role model, deciding he liked him better than he did his father. Magnum certainly embodied more of what Tony came to think of as defining a ‘good man'.
The limo slowed. Tony took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Gibbs leaned over and placed a kiss on his temple.
"It'll be okay."
"Just stay close."
"Planned to."
Tony could feel some of the tension in his gut drain away. It wasn't like he hadn't known Gibbs would be right next to him. It was just reassuring to keep hearing him say it.
When the limo came to a stop in front of the Immaculate Conception, Gibbs released Tony's hand and opened the door, not giving anyone else a chance to do it. Tony hid a smile. It was so like his lover to take as much control of the situation as humanly possible.
Gibbs waited for Tony to get out and closed the door behind him. Tony was glad most people arriving had the good sense to just enter the church and save any gawking for later. The cynic in him was quick to point out it would be easier to see everyone arriving from inside than out anyway.
Tony walked up the steps, doing is best to look like he wasn't dragging his feet. He knew there would be a place reserved for him in the front. As the only son, there was no way they could relegate him to the back. He wondered how many of the hangers on among the family were fuming about that right now. He'd gladly change places with any one of them.
Tony entered the church, feeling a moment of awe that the building never failed to inspire. The arched ceiling of traditional gothic architecture drew his eyes upward while the stained glass windows sent shafts of colored light bouncing off the inlaid marble floor and crisp white walls. The scent of beeswax filled the air, mingling nicely with that of flowers placed in each window recess and at regular intervals in the nave.
Tony dipped the first two fingers of his right hand in the holy water font and blessed himself with the sign of the cross. Gibbs did the same. Together they made their way down the center aisle to the front pew. Tony ignored the feeling of being watched, and simply kept his focus straight ahead. He ignored the not quite silent whispers as well. He reminded himself that nothing being said mattered.
His uncle Gabriel, along with his wife and three children, was already seated in the first pew. Tony kept his expression neutral with an effort, genuflecting out of habit. Gibbs genuflected as well, before neatly positioned himself so that he sat between Tony and his uncle, making sure to leave plenty of space. What the other man might have made of that Tony didn't care. He was just glad Gibbs was between them. With all of them seated this way, no one else could fit into the pew leaving Tony's right sit open to the aisle and him feeling less claustrophobic.
His aunt Anna, her husband, and their three children were in the pew across the aisle. Tony couldn't remember where in Italy they lived, or if they even still lived overseas. His aunt Maria sat next to Anna. As far as Tony knew she'd never had any sort of lasting relationship, too focused on her job to really consider getting involved with anyone. Next to Maria was his step-mother, Monique. Monique was still strikingly beautiful, but Tony was quick to note she had the unnatural look to her skin and expression that were hallmarks of plastic surgery and botox treatments.
Tony wondered where in the congregation Andrea had found a seat. He was sure she'd attend the funeral. He hoped he'd get a chance to speak to her today. He wanted to make sure she was okay. Her position as personal assistant wasn't one that would guarantee continued employment with the company, but she had enough time in, Andrea would probably retire. Assuming she could afford to do so.
Tony eyed the casket sitting in front of the altar. He was glad it was closed. Tony didn't feel any real pressing need to view the body of his father, although some morbid curiosity lingered as to whether or not he'd even recognize him. If is his uncle Gabriel was anything to go by Tony decided he probably would recognize his father. Gabriel didn't look much different. At little more gray in his dark hair, a few more lines on his face, a bit more weight around his waist, but essentially unchanged.
Tony went through the motions of the Mass; standing, kneeling, sitting when appropriate, saying the words by rote. He wasn't entirely surprised to realize he didn't recognize the man giving the eulogy. Not that it mattered. He wouldn't have known it was his father the man was talking about—honest, forthright, considerate, generous were not terms Tony would ever have used in the same sentence with his father's name. Guess his hypocrisy really knew no bounds, Tony thought with a mental snort. He wouldn't have put it past his father to have written his own eulogy, not trusting anyone else to do it right.
He felt Gibbs' shoulder brush his own. Tony sighed, leaning in just a little. The incense was starting to give him a headache. Tony was relieved to hear the final strains of the closing hymn.
He didn't know the pallbearers. They'd probably been picked out based on business connections. Tony didn't actually give a damn who carried his father. He was just thankful it wasn't him. It wasn't an ‘honor' he really felt any desire to have.
He stepped out of the pew, following the procession with slow, measured steps. He ignored his step-mother moving at the same pace across the aisle from him. He was glad it was Gibbs behind him; Tony didn't feel hemmed in with at least one person he could trust at his back.
Tony took a deep breath when he stepped outside. The crisp, fresh air was just want he needed to stave off his burgeoning headache. He glanced skyward. Clouds had rolled in while the service was going on. It seemed appropriate that it might rain. Sunshine wasn't something he ever associated with his father.
Tony headed for the limo that was parked just behind the hearse. He hoped the graveside portion would be short. He was beginning to wish he'd eaten more for breakfast.
"Tony?"
"Yeah, Boss?" Tony stopped, raising an eyebrow.
Gibbs handed him a miniature chocolate bar. Tony smiled slightly. His lover knew him well and prepared accordingly. And he was grateful for that. Tony took the candy as he got in the car, unwrapping it and popping it into his mouth. The smooth milk chocolate melted on his tongue. It wasn't much but it would be enough to hold him until he could get something more substantial.
Gibbs slid in next to him. He was about to close the door when Tony's uncle leaned in, blocking the opening. Tony grabbed Gibbs' arm, stopping his instinctive reach for his gun.
Gabriel's dark eyes cast a wary glance toward Gibbs before focusing on Tony. "May I ride with you to the graveside service?"
Tony's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. If there was something Gabriel had to say, Tony would rather it be done in private. And the cemetery was less than two miles away. Whatever Gabriel wanted to talk about he'd have to be fast.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it." Tony smiled wryly. Wasn't that long ago he'd said the same thing to Danny.
Gabriel cleared his throat. "It is good to see you again."
Tony just tipped his head, acknowledging the statement. He couldn't really return the sentiment or actually believe his uncle meant what he said, so Tony opted for silence, waiting patiently for Gabriel to get to the point. He could feel Gibbs measuring the man, assessing him the same way he would a suspect in an interrogation room.
Gabriel's eyes flickered toward Gibbs. Tony could see him trying to work out just who Gibbs was and why he was with Tony. He was equally certain that his uncle wouldn't ask outright. And if he didn't ask, he clearly didn't need to know too badly.
"Was there something you wanted?" Tony asked, trying to urge Gabriel along.
"I wanted to extend an invitation to you…and your guest…for a family gathering after the funeral."
Tony's stomach clenched. The last thing he wanted was to spend more time with these people. "I appreciate the invitation, but I'm going to decline." He raised a hand to rub at his temple, partly for affect and partly because the headache he thought gone was back. "It's been a rather long day already."
"Family is important, especially at a time like this." Dark eyes measured Tony. "You should make the effort to—"
"As I recall, family wasn't that important to you when your own father died." Tony's tone was clipped and cold. His father's hypocrisy he couldn't do anything about, but that didn't mean he had to tolerate Gabriel's.
Gabriel looked away, color rising in his cheeks. "That was—"
"Uncalled for." Tony glared at his uncle. "Being all but ordered not to attend my grandfather's funeral, in writing no less, was an unnecessary, and no doubt, calculated insult."
Gibbs' gaze sharpened. If looks could kill Gabriel might well be ash.
"Your grandfather would not have wanted you there."
"So you took it upon yourself to ensure I wasn't." Tony sneered. "You could have asked and saved your secretary the effort. I hadn't planned on attending."
His green eyes were glacial as they bored into his uncle. "I buried the only DiNozzo I gave a damn about when I was eighteen."
Gabriel licked his lips. "Suzanne."
"Sully." Tony corrected. He cocked his head, studying his uncle. "Was there something you really wanted? We'll be at the cemetery soon, so you might as well get to it and stop wasting time carrying out this farce of family bonding."
Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "Watch your mouth."
"Or you'll do what?" Tony snorted. "I'm not ten any more, Gabriel."
Gabriel actually raised a hand, but Gibbs caught it before he even came close to doing more than threaten. Gibbs executed a neat joint lock; it was a torque of the hand at the wrist turning it back in on itself straining muscle, tendon and bone. The move took little effort and was capable of inflicting a great deal of pain.
"That was not wise," Gibbs told him, his voice soft. Gabriel flinched, and tried to pull his hand away, but Gibbs' hold was firm, unyielding. He continued to apply pressure, making the other man gasp.
Tony touched Gibbs' bicep. "Let go."
"You sure you want me to?"
Tony nodded. "I'm sure." Breaking Gabriel's wrist might be satisfying but it wouldn't be helpful.
Gibbs let go. Gabriel sat back, rubbing his wrist. Gibbs have him a nasty smile.
"You can abuse your own children all you like, but you will not hit Tony." Gibbs told him, voice broking no argument.
"I have never struck any of my children," Gabriel declared hotly.
Gibbs gaze narrowed. "You seem awfully quick for someone who's never done it before."
Gabriel flushed. "My children know their place."
"Safely under your thumb, no doubt."
Tony smirked at Gibbs' comment. If Danny was anything to go by, that was a fair assessment. The kid probably hadn't ever though to do anything his parents didn't approve of. Given his uncle's temper, that was probably the only thing that saved them from a childhood similar to Tony's. That temper was one thing Tony's father didn't share with his brother. He had let his wife do the hitting. It was, in hindsight, probably because he preferred to have her hit Tony rather than him.
Gabriel shot Tony a dark look. "Leave it to you to employ someone so insolent."
Tony laughed. He couldn't help it. "I believe it was you who told me like called to like."
The car slowed. Tony glanced out the window. They were nearly at the cemetery. "Was there anything else?"
"The will is being read tomorrow."
"I am aware of that." Tony arched an eyebrow. "Your point?"
"I want to know if you plan to contest it."
"You could have asked that without ever getting in the car," Tony pointed out calmly. "Or bothering to invite me to a family gathering."
"One attracts more flies with honey."
"Yeah, and if I ever want to attract flies I'll keep that in mind." Tony smiled coldly. "For future reference, you'd do better to just be direct."
Gabriel's eyes narrowed. "Are you going to contest the will?"
Tony leaned forward. "And had you asked before insulting both of us by pretending to actually give a damn about me, I might have answered you. As it is, I think you can wait until I know exactly what is in the will that I might have grounds to object to."
Gabriel's jaw tightened. "The company needs—"
"I don't really care." Tony fought down the urge to roll his eyes.
"We employ thousands."
"If I thought you were asking out of concern for them, I'd be inclined to tell you what I know you want to hear." Tony shrugged one shoulder. "Unfortunately, you haven't changed in the last twenty years."
"Neither have you." Gabriel glared at him.
"Good of you to notice." Tony smiled as the limo stopped. "I believe this is where you get off."
Gibbs opened the door. Gabriel eyed him warily before stepping out. Tony couldn't help finding their non-verbal exchange amusing.
Once Gabriel was out of the car, Gibbs looked at Tony. "He hit you before, didn't he?"
"He didn't make a habit of it, but yeah, he hit me." Tony reluctantly admitted. It had only happened twice, both times were because Tony had mouthed back to him. Gabriel didn't tolerate dissention well.
"You should have let me break his wrist," Gibbs growled.
"Trust me…hurting his pride worked better than breaking his wrist would have." Tony smirked. "Will have a more lasting impact too."
"Not so sure about that."
Tony snickered. "Yeah, well, knowing him, you my get another chance."
"If he even thinks of hitting you, I'll break more than his wrist," Gibbs growled.
Tony didn't bother trying to reason with Gibbs. His heart really wasn't in trying to dissuade his lover. "C'mon. Let's finish this."
An irreverent thought about how his father wasn't getting any deader flittered through Tony's mind making him fight hard to suppress an inappropriate grin as he followed Gibbs out of the limo. He was glad there were not chairs by the grave site. Standing meant he wouldn't have to be any closer to anyone than he felt comfortable with. And once again, Gibbs acted as a buffer, putting himself between Tony and the rest of the family.
Tony discreetly scanned the crowded. There were fewer people than had been present at the church. He suspected it was more the threat of rain than any respect for the family that was the cause for the reduced numbers.
He spotted Andrea with her husband in the back. While Tony had stayed in touch with her over the years, sending flowers and gifts for birthdays and anniversaries, he hadn't actually seen her in some time. He was startled to see how much she'd aged. Her hair was as gray as Gibbs' and she was wearing glasses now.
His attention refocused on the priest as he went through the final act of the funeral. Tony waited for the coffin to be lowered before throwing in the obligatory handful of dirt. He had lingered at Kate's funeral, wanting to have one final moment with her, but after doing his duty for his father, Tony simply walked away. He didn't have anything to say to his father. The gulf that stretched between them when his father was alive was still there and no last minute words were going to fill it.
Tony ignored his family, stepping over to greet Andrea. She smiled at him, warm and open, brown eyes looking him over.
"Tony…It is so good to see you again."
Tony smiled. Unlike his uncle, she genuinely meant that. He bent down and kissed her cheek. "Good to see you too, Andrea."
He nodded to Andrea's husband, Mark, holding out a hand. Mark took it, his grip strong without being over powering. It was hard to believe the man was a car salesman. He just looked too honest for that profession.
"Hello, Tony."
"Mark." Tony grinned. "You enjoy the races?"
"Have I ever not enjoyed the races?" Mark grinned back at him. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Tony reached out and motioned Gibbs closer. The older man had hung back a respectful distance, once he'd seen how Tony had greeted Andrea. She was obviously no threat to Tony.
"I'd like you to meet a very good friend of mine. Andrea, Mark, this is Jethro Gibbs. Jethro, this is Andrea and Mark."
"It is a pleasure to meet you," Andrea said, giving Gibbs another warm smile.
Gibbs smiled at her. "Pleasure is all mine."
Andrea nodded, giving Tony a concerned glance. "I had so hoped Tony wouldn't have to come to this alone."
Mark made a face, giving the slowly departing family members a suspicious look. "Especially with this lot."
"Mark," Andrea chastised him gently. "That isn't polite."
"Not any less true," he muttered.
Gibbs smiled, shaking Mark's hand. "I am fully aware of the caliber the DiNozzo family."
Mark gave Gibbs an approving nod. Tony wasn't really surprised that they would bond over mutual dislike of his family.
"They aren't all bad." Andrea stated with a tone that made it clear she and her husband had discussed the topic many times. She took one of Tony's hands in both of hers. "Although, there is no denying that this young man is certainly the best of the lot."
Tony blushed. "You are just saying that because I sent you flowers."
"Not just for the flowers." Andrea winked at him. "There was the opera and the ballet."
Tony laughed softly when Mark groaned. "Sorry man."
"No you're not." Mark smirked good-naturedly.
Tony opened his mouth to respond when the sky opened up. He ducked reflexively when the cold drops hit his head and neck, flinching from the sudden onslaught.
"Would you like to join us for lunch?" Tony asked instead, instinctively glancing skyward trying to gauge the intensity and possible duration of the storm.
"You're staying at the Towers, yes?" Andrea asked as she started for the parking lot, Mark moved with her, an arm around her waist.
Tony nodded, moving to follow, Gibbs on his left. "Preferred that to the house."
Andrea gave him an understanding glance through her rain spotted glasses. "We'll meet you at the hotel, if that's all right?"
Tony looked askance at Gibbs, getting a small nod. "Perfect."
Andrea and Mark got into a Dodge Charger. Tony smiled when he saw the car. He should have known a man with such an avid interest in racing would drive a muscle car.
Tony shivered when he got into the limo. It hadn't been raining hard enough to do more than dampen his hair and shoulders, but the temperature dropped enough for Tony to notice. Temperature always affected him more when he was less than one hundred percent. Several days of little sleep and not eating well certainly qualified. Gibbs turned up the heat.
"You got any more of that candy?"
Gibbs handed him several pieces before wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Tony leaned in with a sigh.
"No comment on ruining my appetite or spoiling my lunch?"
Gibbs smiled, and kissed his temple. "I'll let Ducky do that when we get home."
"Let?" Tony snickered, popping a piece of chocolate in his mouth. "Don't think he needs permission, Boss."
"Okay…then I won't stop him." Gibbs arched an eyebrow. "Happy?"
"With you…yeah." Tony smiled shyly.
That earned him a gentle kiss. "Good."
"Very."
Author's Chapter Notes:
The funeral