"Now don't come to me again with such a flimsy excuse!" shouted my friend so loud into the phone that I feared my eardrum would immediately burst. Ziva, who was directly across from me, couldn't keep back a grin any more when I held the phone away from my ear.
"Calm down, Melinda", I tried to sooth the situation a little, this time she seemed really angry. I saw the young woman before me; how she paced up and down in her small apartment, her long legs squeezed in the high heel pumps, which matched the color of the short miniskirt. Her sweet round backside would wobble with every step and as she curled a strand of her long blond locks around one of her fingers, while she scolded with me with a shrill voice.
"I should calm down!?" she shrieked so loud that I winced. "We made plans for this evening one week ago and you promised me you would be there! If you don't want us to be together, then say it!" I twisted my eyes heavenward and prayed that, finally, rescue would come. "Do you need help?" asked my colleague and grinned still broader. I made a grimace in her direction and dedicated my attention once more to the problem called Melinda.
"Of course I want us to be together, baby", I answered and asked myself at the same time whether that was true. What attracted me to this woman – except her large breasts? Well, it certainly wasn't her nerve-killing voice.
"Don't call me baby while we're arguing!" Now I was really on the verge of hanging up. Actually, why was she so upset? Okay, we really had made plans one week ago to eat together this evening, but I couldn't anticipate that Gibbs would condemn us to hours of overtime, because we got a new case.
I had barely thought of the senior field agent when he stood before me and stared down at me grimly, undoubtedly because I had my feet on the desk. I swallowed the lump, which had suddenly formed in my throat and immediately sat upright. His look was once again more than deadly and I thought it would be better not to look as if I was sprawled.
"Come along, DiNozzo", ordered the senior field agent briefly and the tone in his voice allowed for no delay. Did he want to punish me now, just because I had my feet on the desk? Or had I done something wrong, even though I couldn't think of anything.
Listen, I have to go. We… " "Don't you dare hang up!" Melinda shrieked once more in my ear. "Immediately!" ordered Jethro and walked away. I knew if I didn't catch up with him before he reached his destination – wherever that might be – I would definitely receive a major head slap. "We'll talk about this later", I said and hung up without waiting for an answer. Relieved to finally be ending that conversation, I got up and hurried after Gibbs who had already disappeared around the next corner.
Astonished, I realized that he had headed for one of the interrogation rooms where he waited impatiently in the open doorway. "Today, Tony." ‘It seems he got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning', I thought and entered the meagerly furnished room. Involuntarily I remembered how I had sat here and was interrogated when I had been suspected of murder. Was I in such a situation again? If this was the reason why I was in this room, I would rather continue the discussion with Melinda. Nevertheless, I had no chance to escape, because the senior field agent closed the door with a loud crash which made me wince, while he threw both files he held in his hand, onto the table. Afterwards he drank a big gulp of coffee, breathed deeply and seemed to calm down slowly. Since he still made no move to say a word, I considered why he was in such a bad temper and suddenly remembered that today was his wedding anniversary with ex-wife number two and I had the pleasure of being alone with him in an interrogation room, without any help in site.
The silence became more and more oppressive and so I decided to start, in hope, I would keep my head. "Why do you want to talk to me?" I asked and was relieved that Gibbs didn't rush at me, but instead sat down in a chair.
"Sit down", he said unexpectedly quiet, and the feeling that I had done something wrong increased even more. "Have I committed a crime, Boss?" A small smile slid across Jethro's face and he rejoined: "What makes you ask that?" "Well, we are in an interrogation room, you have files with you and you look as if something has bitten you. It could certainly be due to ex-wife number two… " "Sit down, DiNozzo", he interrupted me and looked at me with sparkling blue eyes. The fact that my mention of his wedding anniversary didn't agitate him disturbed me a little.
Haltingly, I sat down on the other chair and was relieved to notice that I was sitting with my back to the one-way mirror, which meant, I was not here to be interrogated.
"I just had a nice discussion with Director Shepard", began Gibbs while he drank another gulp of coffee. Because I didn't know what I should say to that, I was quiet and waited for him to continue. He opened both files, took out two pictures and turned them to me, so that I could see two faces which were covered with cuts. "They were brought to Ducky today, weren't they?" I asked. At that time we had also been in pathology, because we had wanted to know the result of the autopsy of a murdered Commander.
Confused I looked to the senior field agent. "What have we to do with them? That case wasn't transferred to us." "Until now." He drank all of his coffee and put the empty cup beside him. "And what about our case?" "Another team will take it over." Well and good, but that didn't explain why he wanted to talk to me and in an interrogation room.
"The names of these men are Rafe Cooper…" Gibbs pointed at the man with the gray hair "…and Nathan Edison. As it stands in their current passports." "False identities?" I asked. "Yes. The fingerprints were checked and all together 10 names were identified. Every time they have changed their appearance and names. Both men are wanted gunrunners." "And why don't the police take over the case?" I wanted to know and looked with a frown at the pictures. "Because they smuggle military weapons, especially those which disappear from the supplies of the Navy." "How did they die?" "In a car accident earlier tonight. Apparently the car went off the road because of too much speed and crashed against a tree. Director Sheppard believes that it isn't a coincidence that they were in Washington." My face brightened and joy flowed through me. Was what I was hoping about to come about?
Gibbs seemed to anticipate why I was so pleased, because he easily shook his head and continued: "We will pretend to be Rafe Cooper and Nathan Edison to find out who the clients are." A wide grin darted over my face and I answered: "Great. I love undercover missions." Surely, this was going to be thrilling, is what I felt. But the next words brought me down to earth. "Don't halloo till you're out of the wood, DiNozzo. I haven't told you everything yet." Confused I lifted an eyebrow. What would come next?
Gibbs cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. Was I imagining things, or was he a little bit embarrassed? "The two… " he indicated the pictures "…were a couple." First I thought, I had misheard him, but the look on his face left no doubt. "You mean they were gay?" "I didn't want to put it that bluntly, but yes, they were gay." "Oh", I said and all of a sudden I became aware of what this meant. "You can't be serious." "That is what I said to Jen." I could barely keep my lower jaw from hitting the tabletop. My joy about the undercover mission had converted into terror.
"We both would…" I began, however, broke off because I couldn't say the words. I found the thought of acting like someone who likes men abnormal. Jethro leaned back in his chair and seemed to be relieved to have gotten rid of the words. "So that I understand this properly", I made a renewed attempt and my voice sounded unusually scratchy.
"Director Shepard wants us to pretend to be homosexual gunrunners? She wants us to act as though we are a couple in love?" Gibbs nodded and as a result I burst out laughing, although I didn't find the situation funny.
"Forget it, Boss. Ask McGee to play the part." "Let's face it, McGee would not fit at all with me", he answered and looked at me with his blue eyes. "In addition, he does not even remotely resemble either one of these men." "But I do?" I asked a little bit too loudly. The whole thing was the biggest joke. How could the Director think for one second, that I would take part in this mission?
"A little bit", said the senior field agent unusually soft. I snorted contemptuously. "Damn, Tony, do you think I like this? But it's our only chance to get the clients. And remember what these weapons could do if they get in the wrong hands – what they will do without a doubt." "This is not fair", I murmured. "I know, but Jen has also made me take part in this madness." Should this confession possibly change my mind? Involuntarily I saw Gibbs and me as we went hand in hand along the street and exchanged affectionate kisses every now and then. I was shaking as I ran a hand over my eyes to expel the picture from my head.
"Nevertheless, this is absurd", I said. "I can't act in that way, as if I'm gay. Doesn't Director Shepard know… I mean, it's quite clear to her that I like women, isn't it?" "Crystal clear." I shook my head and looked at the tabletop. "The whole thing is not easy for me either – particularly since you are not red-haired." Suddenly I looked up. "That's not funny, Boss." "In any case, maybe it helps you to make a decision if you know that they have reserved a suite at the Four Seasons.
My mouth opened involuntarily and I felt my resolve lesson. "At the Four Seasons? A suite?" I acted like a parrot as I repeated his words. "Yes and the NCIS will take over the costs." Involuntarily I started to grin when I remembered, how I would get served, probably by pretty waitresses and then the chambermaids. But then it occurred to me again that I should not look at them, because I would be... No, I wouldn't complete the sentence now.
I looked at Gibbs who scrutinized me expectantly. "Must we sleep in the same bed?" I asked and thought of the bedroom in the great luxurious suite. "Probably. We have to keep up appearances." I swallowed. "And what about … you already know…" I bent forward a little, because of the fear that somebody could eavesdrop on us. "…to hold hands or… cuddle a little bit?" With these words I felt more than stupid and with the thought of acting as if I loved my boss, I felt the urge to scream.
But Gibbs likewise didn't appear as though he felt too well, which calmed me a little. "Only if it is required by the situation. So, will you do it?"
I closed my eyes for a short moment. Later I would certainly hate myself for my decision. "I do expect to get a fat raise in salary for this." A smile darted over his face and he said: "That remains to be seen. So, can I inform Director Sheppard that you are on board?" I sighed and nodded. "Yes, you can tell her." He got up and I likewise rose. All at once the room seemed to be very small and I urgently needed fresh air. I hurried to the door, tore it open and stormed out into the corridor.
Tony?" Gibbs' voice caused me to pause and I turned to face him once again. He stood behind me, the empty coffee cup in one hand, the files in the other. "We meet with Abby in 20 minutes." I nodded as a sign that I had understood him and hastened away past McGee and Ziva, who looked with surprise after me as I went to the stairwell since the elevators were definitely too slow at this moment.
Over and over again the same words in my head haunted me: I, Anthony DiNozzo, would act in such a way, as if I was homosexual. This was the joke par excellence. But at least the whole mission would go off at the Four Seasons – a small compensation for the strain, which would come upon me. ‘What have I done to deserve this?' I asked myself and decided to lay the blame on my argument with Melinda.
Exactly 19 minutes after the conversation with Gibbs I entered Abbys sanctified halls, with a coffee cup in my hand. Ordinarily I drank it with hazelnut syrup, but today I needed it black and strong. I could not believe I was about to take part in this undercover mission. But Jethro was right when he stated that McGee would not fit with him. He was simply not the type from which one would buy a homosexual role and he really didn't have any resemblance to either of the dead people. Let alone the thought that both would wildly smooch in a corner, was laughable. But the thought that this could happen to me had brought me back to the facts and the result was that I filled myself up with caffeine, although I had something more highly concentrated in mind. But it would not be right if I attempted to accomplish this task completely drunk, even if it would certainly make it easier.
With the hope that I won't have to kiss Gibbs during the next days I stepped into the room and only then noted that no loud music tormented my hearing. Ordinarily a song roared from the loudspeakers but today everything was quiet. One second later I knew the reason. Ziva and McGee stood with Abby and awaited me with curious looks. The slightly stunned look on Tim's face, the small twitching around the corner of David's mouth and the full grin of expectation of the goth informed me that they already knew about the mission.
At least I was spared the need to tell them that I would be playing gay during the coming days – a fact which I couldn't accept yet, nor likely in the future.
"What?" I asked and raised an eyebrow upwards. "Do I have a black spot on my face -- why are you staring at me?" As a result McGee scrutinized his shoes and Ziva couldn't hold back her grin anymore. However, Abby came to me and took me firmly in her arms.
"This is so courageous of you, Tony", she said and pressed me against her body. "That you do something like this." "Yes, we never thought you would do it", Ziva interrupted. "It must be very difficult for you to act in such a way, as if you like men." She giggled behind a reproached hand.
"I am glad you can have a ripping good time. Fancy, if Gibbs would have accepted my suggestion and chosen McGee as his partner", I said when Abby had let me go again.
"What?" Tim suddenly lifted his head and stared at me with a startled look. "You understood me clearly, Probie. But if the Boss would have it means, that you…" Before I could bring the sentence to an end, I received a hard slap on the back of my head.
"If I had the choice, nobody would take part in this idiotic mission ", said Gibbs quietly behind me. He passed me, drank a gulp from his coffee cup and turned to Abby: "How are we doing?" Excitedly she hopped to her computer and typed something on the keyboard. "I am just about to save your fingerprints under the new pseudonyms. The passports and driver's licenses are in works." She looked at her wristwatch. "They should be ready in about three hours. And there is something else."
The young woman turned round and looked at me. I didn't like the sparkle in her eyes and thus I decided to drink a gulp of coffee that was already slightly cooled first.
"Nathan Edison or whatever his right name may be, we don't know, because he has changed his identity so often and nobody can say, how…" "Abbs!" I interrupted her in my best Gibbs manner. "Come to the point." "Sorry. What I wanted to say was that this man wears an earring. And, well …" She pulled her darkly made up mouth a little, „…you don't have one." "I am aware of this", I answered, but then it dawned on me what she wanted to say. "No, no and no. There must be another alternative." "I am sorry", Abby repeated, then typed something on her keyboard causing 10 pictures of Nathan Edison to appear on the plasma screen.
"Every time he has changed his appearance, let his hair grow or cut it, used colored contact lenses, or other such things, he has always worn this silver earring. And it would be a little conspicuous if he suddenly had no hole in his ear." I swallowed, drank up my coffee and threw the cup in the nearest garbage can.
"Are you afraid of one small stick, Tony?" Ziva asked a little bit bitchy and grinned at me. "No, I am not, Officer David. But I prefer to have no holes in my body, regardless of the form." "Don't be so childish", Abby interrupted. "It doesn't hurt that much and, besides, you can remove the earring after the mission and the little hole will become overgrown after some time. And who knows, maybe you'll like it after a few days and you'll keep the earring. I find it absolutely fits you. I mean, you are simply the type…"
"Abbs", this time she was interrupted by Gibbs and so she looked at me expectantly. "I think I should be glad that he has no ring in his eyebrow." "Are you saying that you'll do it?" "Since I already have to act in such a way, as if I am homosexual, then an earring is a lesser evil." "Great!" Abby jumped excitedly up and down bringing a smile to my lips against my will.
"Then I'll get the equipment. A friend procured this for me years ago and since that time I have made some friends some body jewelry already." "I never wanted or needed to know that", Gibbs said and drank up his coffee. Abby hurried into the other room and started rummaging in a cupboard.
"And what is our task during this mission?" asked McGee. "You will hold position here at headquarters and co-ordinate the mission." answered Jethro and threw away his cup. "And Ziva will pretend to be a chambermaid." A loud laugh slipped from my mouth when I saw her shocked face. "You can't be serious, Gibbs", she said. "Was there something confusing about my words, Officer David?" He looked at her with his sparkling blue eyes and I enjoyed for once not being the one who caused his pleasure.
"Can't McGee do this? He played the room service server perfectly the last time and…" "You will be at the Four Seasons at 18 hundred hours to search the suite, which has been reserved by Rafe Cooper and Nathan Edison, for bugs." After almost endless seconds she nodded. Then the senior field agent turned to me. "Director Shepard procured a sports car for us. Not the same model that they were driving, but a similar one." My grin became broader still, at the thought of sitting behind the steering wheel of an ultra fast car.
"At 19 hundred hours we will set off from here. Till then you can use the time to procure everything that you need during the coming days. Does anyone still have questions?" "No", answered Ziva and crossed her arms before her breasts. I saw her already, in the uniform of the chambermaid and how she replaced the used towels with new ones in the bathroom. Without another word Gibbs left the lab, undoubtedly to buy another cup of coffee.
Abby immediately came back to us, with a device in her hand that sent a cold shiver down my back. But because both my colleagues were still present, I didn't want to show how queasy I felt. The goth went to a table, took a small object and gave it to me. "Here", she said. It was a silver earring. "Is this possibly the same one which this Edison was wearing?" "Yes. But don't worry, I disinfected it." "Great". Distrustfully I looked at the ring that had been worn by a dead person.
"It would be better if you sat down." Reluctantly I sat down on a chair. "And you are sure that you know what you have to do." "Never fear, Tony, I am a pro." Abby took my right earlobe in hand and attached the murderer's instrument. Fear climbed a little up my spine, because I was afraid that it would hurt. I swallowed, closed my eyes to block out the interested looks from Ziva and McGee and waited for her to start working – which she did a few seconds later.
To be continued...
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.