Chapter 2: Return and Run
Gibbs blinked his eyes open but squeezed them shut again as room was spinning. The cold of the tiles on his bathroom floor were freezing him and he slowly pushed himself up, leaning his back against the door. Finally he could open his eyes and glanced at his watch. It was after seven, he must have passed out after throwing up, at least if the taste in his mouth was anything to go by.
He wanted to rinse but couldn’t work up the strengh to take the cup on the sink and fill it with water. Everything seemed as dull as when he came home. He felt numb and overly filled with emotions at the same time. Tony’s death was the last drop to get the barrel of his emotion not only to overflow but to burst into tiny little pieces and left his mind dropping from memories and feelings he had hidden for too long, even from himself. Tears clung in the corners of his eyes, he wasn’t quite ready to let them fall just now.
It was dry cold and wet hot. It was too much. He couldn’t stand up, he couldn’t sit here. His body shook with tremors, his stomach clenched tightly as if he was going to vomit again but nothing was left. Nothing was left. He had nothing to live for anymore. He had nobody to blame. Maybe himself? Maybe Tony hadn’t been concentrated because he was worrying what his father had to say. Maybe he should have offered him to drive him there.
He ran his hand over his face. It wouldn’t have changed anything. Tony would have told him that he was fine. He would have driven just the same. If he himself had been driving they’d be both dead. But wouldn’t that be better? Wouldn’t it be better if he died with Tony instead of now dealing with it? Could he deal with it? He wasn’t so sure about that. If he could move he would most likely put a bullet in his head. If he could move.
Eventually he would stand up and go to his bed. He would fall asleep and wake up. He lost every feeling for time. He didn’t feel hungry or thirsty. He just lay on his bed. Some time his cell phone rang, and probably he would have found it if he went looking but he didn’t. A few minutes later his hard line rang and he didn’t answer that either. He closed his eyes again and took deep breaths, hoping he wouldn’t wake up again as he fell asleep.
He felt a hand on his shoulder and a soft voice saying his name. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and savoured the sound of his mate’s voice. Tony’s hand gently shaking him.
„Tony...“
He murmered but then his eyes snapped open. It couldn’t be Tony. He turned slightly to see Ducky standing beside the bed. Tears swelled up again and he turned away, ashamed of himself.
„Jethro, we tried to reach you all day. Why didn’t you answer your phone?“
„It rang?“
Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered the sound of it but he couldn’t tell how long it had been since.
„We were worried when you didn’t show up.“
„Jen gave us off.“
Gibbs defended himself.
„Jethro, that was two days ago.“
Slowly he sat up and frowned. Two days? He hadn’t been out for the count that long, has he?
„Jethro, I didn’t know that you and Tony have been that close.“
„We weren’t...that’s the problem...God, Ducky...I didn’t realize how much I loved him...“
The older man sat on the bed and rubbed soothing circles on Gibbs‘ back. It had been only a few months after Tony had joined NCIS that Ducky had noticed the obvious attraction between them but he knew that it never went beyond that, until now. A few minutes later Gibbs was once more asleep, the emotional exhaustion too much for the already strained body.
Ducky shook his head softly as he left the house to get some things. He took out his cell phone and informed the director that Gibbs was on medical leave until further notice. He was positive that Gibbs finally had the breakdown he was due to have.
Gibbs woke to the sound of footsteps. This time he was sure it was Ducky, coming back from where ever he’d gone. The door to the bedroom opened and didn’t even turn around. But then he felt the end of a gun at the back of his head.
„Stand.“
Ordered a dark male voice and slowly he obeyed. ‚Damn me for never locking my door‘, he thought but then wondered if he should just take his chance. It wasn’t as if he really cared about his life at the moment. Before he could decide or turn around he heard again footsteps, but this time fast as if somebody was running up the stairs and a moment later the man with the gun was thrown over the bed. Gibbs stared at the fight that happened in front of him. Two men were struggling on the floor of the other side of his bed. Who were they? What did they want?
He flinched at the familiar sound of a neck broken with bear hands and stared at the back of the head of the winner of the fight. As he stood, breathing heavily after the exhaustion and the adrenalin. Gibbs‘ stomach clenched as recognition slowly rose in his mind. The hair, the stature. The man turned and his mouth fell open. It was no coincidence...it was a dream. Yeah, sure. His mind was playing a trick on him. This couldn’t be him.
„We have to get away from here. There are more where this one came from...why are you looking at me as if I am a ghost?“
„Are you kidding? Maybe because you died two days ago?“
Tony sighed and looked down at the body Gibbs couldn’t see.
„Well, I’m not, obviously. And it’s not a dream, you can pinch yourself if you want to. Now get some cloths and let’s get out of here.“
As if that was enough to convince Gibbs he started to pack some cloths into his backpack.
„How did they tell you I died?“
Tony asked conversationally.
„A truck ran frontal into your car...Tony, they’ve been sure it was you...and why didn’t you come into the office? Or over here?“
Tony took his backpack and made for the door.
„I promise, I’ll tell you everything, but now, we’ll have to get going!“
„Why? Where to?“
„We have to go because apparently somebody wants to kill or abduct you. We don’t have a real destination. I was planning on anything but here. Gibbs, I know you can’t understand it now but this is very important and no matter what happens, I want you to remember this. I’m the only one you can trust.“
Gibbs frowned but before he could ask Tony was already going downstairs and out of the house, obvioulsy checking the enviroment. Gibbs noticed that Tony’s mustang wasn’t in the drive way but a black crysler.
„You bought yourself a new car?“
„Em...yeah...kinda. Get in.“
As Tony turned on the engine he immidiatly switched off the automatic navi-system and then looked at Gibbs.
„You have your cell-phone on you?“
„Em...yeah...“
He pulled it out and Tony took it and threw it out of the window.
„HEY!“
„I have a safe line. Yours can be tracked.“
Gibbs looked at the younger man for a moment.
„I want answers, DiNozzo! And I want them now!“
„Fine, you can have answers. But don’t go all over me if you don’t like them.“
Tony’s eyes were fixed on the street but his voice was strained with anger.
„Who was that guy in my bedroom?“
„Don’t know.“
„Where are we going?“
„Not sure.“
„You’re right, DiNozzo, I don’t like your answers.“
Tony sighed and glanced at the older man.
„I don’t know who that guy was. I only know that he was trying to abduct you or kill you and for me that was enough reason to kill him. I also know that who ever send him will send others to finish his job and I’ll take care that that won’t happen. I didn’t have time to make a plan yet so I only know that we’re going to get some of my stuff and then we’re heading out of town.“
He looked over to see the other man frown at him.
„Tony, they told me you’re dead.“
Gibbs urged him to explain this matter.
„I know...I tend to forget how they cover their tracks cause I’m usually not involved anymore. Ducky called me a few hours ago and told me that you’re not well, so I went to check it out...was your luck I did.“
„Wait...Ducky knew that you’re not dead? And who are they?“
„Yeah, Ducky knew because he is one of us...“they“ are a super secret agency on international basis. It’s that secret that only the highest politicians of every country are informed...well, only those who are supposed to know that we exist. We have jurisdiction in every country but, and that’s the problem that goes along with it, we have to have good reasons for our actions. They have other penalties than prison.“
For a long moment there was absolute silence in the car.
„There is a top secret agency...and you’re an agent?“
Tony nodded.
„How come you never went away for a mission?“
„Because I was on a mission. I’m not Anthony DiNozzo. I wasn‘t born in Long Island, and actually, I never was a cop. I came here to protect you.“
„You? Were protecting me?“
„I know, it sounds unbelievable. Sure, you never noticed, but that was the plan. You weren’t supposed to know.“
Gibbs looked out of the window, trying to wrap his head around all of this. Tony wasn’t Tony, he was an Agent of an Agency he didn’t know exist, and he wasn’t dead...
„If I wasn’t supposed to know, how come you’re telling me this now?“
„Because the circumstances changed.“
„You mean because I saw you kill someone but you were supposed to be dead?“
„No. Because my CO took me off and two days later you get attacked. I don’t believe in coincidences.“
He took deep breaths to calm himself down. He knew he was getting emotional and right now that didn’t help.
„I don’t understand...“
„For more than five years I was here, by your side, always watching your back and then, exactly when I get pulled off something happens. And the way I got pulled off...it wasn’t after protocol. Usually I would have been picked up and brought to HQ, where they give me a new idendity and everything. This time my CO met me somewhere near Alexandria. This is not how the agency works...it’s how my CO works when he’s doing something on his own. I should have known it right away...“
Tony pulled into a garage and stopped the car.
„Why should I believe you?“
„Come and look.“
He said getting out of the car and starting towards a door. Gibbs followed him through several halls before Tony opened a door with a code and his fingerprint. Inside it looked like a doctor’s office. The walls were a light grey, just as the floor and the doors were a clinical green. In one of the rooms there were several wardrobes and Tony packed two suitcases of cloths. Then he walked into the next room and as Gibbs entered slightly later his mouth fell open.
All kind of fire arm were in this room. Well, not all kind, but everything you could carry. He watched in awe as Tony put several guns and munition on the table in the middle of the room. Then the younger man took off his jacket and pulled his sick out of the shoulder holster and replaced it with a half automatic magnum. In the end Gibbs had counted not less than 8 hand guns and four knives, the one in Tony’s belt out of count. Furthermore there were two sniper rifles and a shotgun on the table.
„You’re preparing for war?“
„If necessary.“
Tony pushed a shoulder holster and two guns towards Gibbs.
„Those are better than the sick. You know them, don’t you?“
„Yeah, I’m familiar with them.“
Tony smiled shortly.
„The answer I expected from a gunnery seargeant.“
„Where are we?“
„It’s the safe house. We’re lucky my CO operated alone. Otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten in here anymore.“
Tony put both hands on the table and took a deep breath.
„I can’t believe he’s doing this...all my life I looked up to him and now?“
„All your life?“
„I’m one of ten Agents that have been in the agency nearly all their life. We’re trained right from the beginning. Prototype Agents, so to say. I can’t even remember my name or my parents...I’ve been four, at least that’s what they told me and the found me in a child’s home. My IQ is 196, I speak 8 languages fluently, I can use every marshal art there is and I know how to use about every weapon. I have degrees in biology, chemistry, physics and math. I could hack into the pentagon within five minutes if I needed to, so, I could have done all the work on the team alone and had time to cook a meal for seven people. But I don’t know what it’s like to be hugged by your mother...or how it feels to come home to your partner...and probably I’ll never know... most of us die before they can retire...only a few of us have the opportunity to settle down, like Ducky.“
„Donald Mallard is one of those Agents?“
Gibbs got big eyes and finally had to sit on the chair at the table.
„Well, he’s as much Donald Mallard as I am Anthony DiNozzo. But he does have a past. The thing is once you joined you can’t go back. But Ducky got an identity he could live. And he’s happy, I know that.“
Tony checked his watch.
„C’mon, let’s go. I don’t know if anybody’s looking for me yet but I don’t want to take the risk.“
Gibbs nodded absently and followed because, as strangely as it sounds, he trusted Tony, or whatever his name was.