Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.
"Jethro, get some sleep." Ducky turned off the overhead lights, leaving Jethro in darkness. Jethro listened as Ducky made his way to his Autopsy table where a single light shone.
He knew his old friend thought he was asleep; but he wasn't. Instead he laid there, his eyes closed, wishing he were sleeping somewhere else, with Ducky by his side. Or better still not sleeping, but â€"
Hastily, feeling his body start to react, he stopped the thought before it could turn into something more.
It was never going to happen; he might as well forget about it â€" or try to. It was foolish and pointless to keep wishing, hoping, dreaming the day would come when Ducky would realize the true nature of Jethro's feelings for him.
Realize that Jethro fallen in love with him. Realize how Jethro wanted him as more than just a friend, how much he wanted to pull Ducky into his arms, lower his head and kiss him. And not just kiss him, but touch him, caress him, have Ducky touch and caress him, make love to him, experience Ducky naked in his arms, in his bed.
Again, he yanked his mind away from the image and thoughts. Why did he keep thinking about it? It was useless; Ducky was never going to see him like that; never want him like that. He knew Ducky was gay, but obviously he didn't see Jethro like that; Jethro wasn't his 'type'.
Besides, he didn't need to have sex with Ducky, what they had was enough â€" should be enough.
And it was.
But . . .
But he wished for more. He couldn't help it.
But a wish it would remain, a beautiful, tender, cherished wish.
With a soft sigh he turned his attention away from thoughts of Ducky and slipped into sleep.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Set during Yankee White. A companion piece to 'Not Too Old To Dream'. Gibbs isn't asleep. Instead he too is thinking.