Chapter Forty-Six
It was late by the time Tony had stopped crying and Gibbs had been able to move away so that he could head down to the kitchen to make something resembling food.
Tony followed him down after going to the bathroom en-suite and washing his face so that it didn’t look like he’d been crying for the past ninety minutes. It was a pointless task anyway because the only other person present was Gibbs and he’d been the one to see him through his tears.
“What do you fancy for dinner?” Gibbs asked, when Tony took a seat at the kitchen table.
“Not sure, nothing that takes a while to cook, I’m surprisingly hungry,” Tony replied, sighing as his stomach grumbled.
“I have some pasta and chicken in the freezer that I could heat up?” Gibbs offered.
Tony nodded. “Can I grab a beer?” he asked, looking at the fridge.
“You know you’re not allowed to drink on your meds. Dr. Foster did explain that to you.”
“I know, but one can’t hurt, can it?” Tony asked, giving Gibbs a look that could only be described as seductive.
“DiNozzo, don’t think for a second that that look is going to work on me, have a glass of milk, some orange juice, some water, whatever you want.”
“But not beer?”
“No, not until your liver has recovered from the overdose and even then only in small doses. Your days of getting so wasted you couldn’t remember your own name are over.”
“Fine.” Tony got up and went to the fridge, he grabbed the carton of orange juice and poured himself a glass, sipping it slowly as he put the carton back where it belonged and sat back down at the table, watching Gibbs prepare their meal.
“So, how did things go at the office?” Tony asked, trying to make conversation.
“Well, all the evidence is now ready to be presented to the JAG lawyer who’ll take on prosecuting the case, the witnesses, like Woodman and Lee will stay in custody and seclusion until a court date is decided and Kamisnski stays in with the general population with the hope that he doesn’t get to anyone and silence them before we can put him away for good. I need to talk to you about that actually,” Gibbs said, putting the chicken and pasta into a saucepan and bringing up the heat so that it would defrost.
“Go ahead.”
“There’s a chance the judge will only choose to prosecute on the attempted murder charge which is our strongest case, if he does, Kamisnski will most likely get life, but is that enough for you? Do you want me to push so they charge him for ordering the attack, paying for Woodman to rape you?” Gibbs asked, turning round from his position by the stove and looking at Tony.
Tony sighed, he hadn’t really thought about what Kamisnski would and wouldn’t get charged with and although it may seem that if his attack was ignored that he didn’t get the man responsible, but so long as he was in jail and unable to bring harm to anyone else, that was enough for him. Besides, Woodman was the actual rapist and he would serve time for that ��" Kamisnski may have paid him to do it, but all that mattered was that the people responsible paid in their own ways.
“I guess that’s fine.”
“You guess? I want you to be sure,” Gibbs told him. “You don’t have to give me an answer now, but I need one soon, so think about it. I’m not above getting Kamisnski to pay in other ways.”
“No, boss, I don’t want that,” Tony protested. “I don’t want that scumbag costing you your job, he’s ruined enough lives as it is.”
“Okay, Tony, I promise I won’t take matters into my own hands.”
Gibbs stirred the chicken and pasta as it started to cook and bubble, while Tony sat thinking about what had happened that morning before Gibbs and him and how he’d freaked out. It was pathetic, here he was with the guy he’d admired from afar for years, now he could finally live out his fantasies with the man and do everything he’d always dreamed about, but the second Gibbs touched him, he went soft and all he could think about was the night of the rape. Would that ever go away? Would he always be destined to wanting Gibbs but not be allowed to have him? It was like being in a candy store and only being allowed to look and not touch.
“You know what happened this morning,” Tony said, broaching the subject carefully, because he didn’t want Gibbs to feel guilty about what had happened, but on the other hand he didn’t want it to go unsaid.
“What about this morning?”
“When we tried to…y’know…do it,” Tony replied, feeling his face flush red with embarrassment. For God’s sake, he was thirty-seven years old, he should be able to talk about sex without getting embarrassed.
“Ah, that,” Gibbs said, turning to look at Tony as he continued to stir the chicken and pasta. “What about it?”
“It’s not that I don’t like you like that, I don’t know why I reacted the way I did, I mean I’ve been dreaming about this happening for years, ever since I laid eyes on you and then I had my chance and I screwed it up, I’m sorry.”
“DiNozzo, never apologise, it’s a sign of…”
“Weakness, I know, but I am sorry that I got you all wound up and then left you with blue balls.”
“Tony, this time last week you were in the ICU following an overdose you took because you were raped . I do not expect you to suddenly be jumping all over me and ready for sex. If you have to wait a week, a month, a year, a decade before you’re ready to sleep with me, I’ll wait for you, because I don’t want to hurt you or your recovery from this,” Gibbs told him, walking over and placing a kiss on his forehead. “Now, dinner’s ready, will you grab me some plates and lay the table?”
“Sure thing, boss.”
~*~
After dinner, Gibbs took a shower whilst Tony lay in bed. He had come to a decision that he was ready now and he wanted to show Gibbs how much he loved him through physical means rather than just through words. He’d searched through Gibbs’ bedside drawers and found lube and condoms, so maybe he wasn’t the only person anticipating this happening.
By the time Gibbs was out of the shower and came into the bedroom, Tony was naked and laid across the bed, he had an erection, having stroked himself thinking about what it would feel like to finally have Gibbs inside of him. He wanted to consider himself a virgin since his first time had been, well, the rape, but thinking about it caused him to lose some of his erection so he pushed it to the back of his mind and stroked himself so that he stayed hard.
“What’s all this then?” Gibbs asked, dropping the towel that was round his waist, he could see the lube and a condom placed on his pillow and that Tony was flushed with excitement and need so he lowered one knee onto the bed and leaned down and kissed Tony full on the lips, pushing them apart with his tongue.
Tony groaned and Gibbs felt himself grow hard at the thought of being able to take Tony and make him his. He didn’t know that this was technically Tony’s first time, but he wanted to make it good for him, so while still kissing him passionately he opened the lube and spread it across his fingers.
He reached down and spread it around Tony’s hole and eased a finger in, then all hell broke loose. Tony cried out as the muscles clamped down on Gibbs’ finger and pushed Gibbs away from him, his eyes closed. “Get off me! LEAVE ME ALONE!” he shrieked
Gibbs removed his finger as gently as he could, not wanting to cause any harm to the young agent and stood back up, Tony was soft again and he was curled up into the fetal position, crying about not wanting to go through that again. Gibbs sighed. He should have known that Tony was just trying to please him, to give him some relief, to show him how much he loved him, but deep down, Tony wasn’t ready, it was too soon after the rape.
He pulled on some sweat pants, his erection long gone and curled up behind Tony. “It’s okay, I’m here and no one is going to hurt you, I promise,” he whispered, soothingly.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I thought I could…”
“It doesn’t matter, we can take it slow, we don’t have to have sex to be in a relationship.”
“But I want to, I just…I just can’t.”
“I know, and it’s fine, it’s all okay,” Gibbs soothed. He reached down and pulled the comforter over them and eventually they fell asleep in that position.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Who will catch DiNozzo when he falls?