Chapter Eleven
Gibbs should have felt a sinking feeling that Tony seemed to react to his words but it made sense and somehow it soothed him. It was out there. He’d admitted it to Tony, in a fashion, and if Tony had heard it…well, there wasn’t a damn thing Gibbs could do to take it back. He wouldn’t have said it at all if a part of him"a big part"hadn’t wanted to. The truth was that he needed that connection with Tony as much as Tony needed it with him.
With every moment that passed their bond strengthened and Gibbs knew it was them as a unit. He trusted Tony more than he had anyone…since Shannon. And right now it was okay that Tony knew how he felt on some level. It made it just that bit easier. Someday soon he’d have to look Tony in the eyes and explain it, but this made that job a little easier, made the knot in Gibbs’ chest loosen a little.
Gibbs’ mind drifted as he settled into a place between pure wakefulness and sleep, his hand continuing to stroke over Tony. He wondered if Shannon and Tony would have gotten along and if his wife and daughter would have approved.
He started imagining a scene, one of his favorite fantasies. A hot summer day, humidity stretching over everything like a thick oppressive blanket. A cookout, a college-age Kelly bent over books with Maddie Tyler, Shannon basking in the sunlight in that emerald one-piece bathing suit she’d always loved. Tony and him throwing a football around.
Yeah…Gibbs could imagine it. Tony would tease Shannon, flirt outrageously with Kelly and Maddie. Gibbs would growl but they’d all know there was no malice behind it. It would be a day of laugher and friendship.
But how would Shannon deal with him being with Tony…being in love with Tony? Shannon had been one of the most open-minded people Gibbs had ever known but this…was extreme. He had to think she’d be happy that there was someone in his life"the first person since Jen"that he could be real with, that he felt he might be able to show his heart to"eventually. Shannon had set the bar impossibly high for relationships and nobody"not even Jen"had come close.
Gibbs sighed, settling deeper into the chair, hand more firm on Tony’s flesh. He was trying to hang on to wakefulness but knew he was failing miserably, his mind drifting and winding in patterns that didn’t make sense.
“Should get a cot in here, huh? They want me to go to the hotel, but I don’t want to leave you, Tony.” The words were spoken in a barely conscious mumble, but he felt Tony’s arm muscles contract. It was incredible how Tony was managing to communicate in their sleep and by muscle movement.
He couldn’t help the gentle smile he could feel forming. “Get to sleep, Tony. I know you’re listening. You have to sleep and heal. I’m sleepy too…”
Gibbs shifted his chair one more time, hand completely curling around Tony’s arm, other arm cradling his own head as he tried to get comfortable. Within seconds he’d fallen into a deep and dreamless sleep, content in the knowledge that he was keeping Tony safe.
Tony’s eyes cracked open when he heard a soft male voice just outside his door. The sun had been up for a few hours now and Gibbs was sound asleep in the chair beside him, emitting little snores every minute or so. If he could have reached out with his ruined hands and touched Gibbs he would have. They were connected by Gibbs large hand around his bicep, the heat welcomed and comforting.
Tony had heard what Gibbs had said before he went to sleep and his heart was still soaring. He knew they had a long way to go--him and his repressed Marine--but this was a supremely encouraging start. At least Gibbs was facing his feelings. And Gibbs admitted to being in love with another man. With him. Tony DiNozzo. Funny, Tony hadn’t ever thought Gibbs to be that in touch with his emotions before.
“Hey, Tony. Man, you look rough.” Even though the voice had awoken him, the door to his room opening startled him a little. Carl Balboa stood in the doorway, looking rough himself. The crescents of shadows made his dark eyes all the more prominent and he had a hungry look that Tony’d never seen. His designer suit was rumpled and his dark hair was mussed. Carl always looked pristine, and this was a huge shock to Tony.
“Hey, Carl,” he rasped, clearing his throat. “Come on in. Thanks for visiting. Didn’t know you were in town. I’m still in Richmond, right?”
Carl gave him a tense smile. “I…uh. Yeah. Yeah you are Tony.”
“Wow! Thanks for making the drive!” He and Carl had always been friendly but this was…this was really nice.
Carl shuffled his feet and looked really uncomfortable, sighing. “This is official, Tony. I need to question you…”
“Not happening!”
Tony turned his head to the side, groaning as pain blossomed through his head. He gulped down nausea, focusing on the blue eyes of the man who loved"LOVED"him. Then Gibbs’ eyes slid away. Tony didn’t know how Gibbs managed to wake up and not let on to anyone, even the pressure of his hand on Tony’s biceps hadn’t changed.
“Gibbs, hey…” Balboa said, sounding even more uncomfortable now. “The director said I could…”
“Could what?” Gibbs stood, stretching in one motion and Tony immediately missed the feel of that hand on his arm.
“Question him?” Balboa finished the last part as a question.
“I said I might allow it,” Gibbs replied. “But not now, Balboa.”
“Gibbs…it’s okay. I can answer…”
Gibbs turned to look at Tony, and if Tony could have, he would have trembled. The fire in those eyes was fierce. “Not now. Not yet. Have the docs look you over first. With me, Balboa.”
Tony stifled a sigh as Gibbs led the other agent out and a few minutes later the doctors came in. They unwrapped and rewrapped bandages, checked his vitals, consulted his chart and conferred in low voices as if Tony wasn’t even in the room. He heard enough to know that they’d almost lost him multiple times when he’d first arrived. And that his hands were in really bad shape. As they trickled out, he called one doctor over, the leader of the pack, a pretty blonde named Doctor Marsh.
“Give it to me straight. Am I gonna be okay?” he asked hoarsely.
The doctor, who had been all business earlier, pulled up a chair and sat down beside him. She stared at the chart she held in her hands, tapping it as she seemed to be composing her thoughts.
“You have a lot of healing to do,” she said quietly, undoing her ponytail and combing through the strands as she spoke. “You have a lot of scarring all over your body, especially…” She didn’t say the words but her eyes flicked down to his groin and he nodded slightly. This was one of his bigger fears. It had felt like a mass of raw meat after they’d worked him over.
“Did they…cut it off?”
She gasped and shook his head. “No. It’s attached but they…” She sighed. “You want me to be frank with you, don’t you?”
“Yeah. I can take it.” But Tony wasn’t sure he could. He needed Gibbs here. Where was Gibbs?
“They scored you with a knife, cut you very deeply, especially one of your testicles. An infection has set in and we’re starting you on a new cocktail of antibiotics, but if it doesn’t respond…” She swallowed, meeting his eyes. “We may have to operate.”
“There goes my sex life,” Tony tried to quip but his voice was shaking too badly, tears were burning in his eyes.
She leaned in close, squeezing his arm"GIBBS’ SPOT"and he pulled away the best he could. “You want to hear more?” she asked, sympathy brimming in her own eyes.
Tony nodded, fighting back the tears.
“You suffered mild rectal damage, much less than we had expected. That is very encouraging. If it had been worse…”
Tony knew what she was saying. An uncle had fought colon cancer. He nodded slightly, thankful for small mercies.
“You have a severe concussion but amazingly enough we haven’t found any skull fractures. You have seven broken ribs, bruised kidneys, your liver was a bit traumatized and we’ll be taking you for some tests to look at it today, but your blood tests don’t show major anomalies in your liver enzymes.”
“Did you run an AIDS test,” Tony asked.
“We did,” she replied softly, patting his arm again. “We have you on antibiotics as you know, and have run a complete diagnostic panel, which you’ll want rerun in six months. But at the moment, nothing of concern has shown up.”
“What about my hands?” Tony asked quietly.
“I’m not the orthopedist but I’ll tell you what I can,” she replied and Tony knew that wasn’t a good start. “Right now we’re treating you for the infections. The material they used to injure your hands has caused infections and numerous broken bones but the pulses in your hands and fingers are strong, so they can delay surgery. Tony, I’m not going to lie to you. This is going to be a long and arduous process. We’re not talking days or weeks here. We’re talking months, surgery, physical therapy. And even then…”
“And in the end I still might not be whole.” Tony closed his eyes, the emotion overwhelming him.
“Gibbs…can you please get Gibbs. I need him.”
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.