Chapter Twelve
Gibbs watched Balboa walk away and let out a slow breath of air. Balboa had been confused by Gibbs’ protectiveness over Tony, but he’d settled down when he realized that Gibbs wasn’t stonewalling him, just delaying the questioning until he was sure Tony was emotionally stable enough to endure the process. They had to get as much information as they could from Tony and time was of the essence. Even though Gibbs was gonna make those bastards pay soon, but Tony’s health was more important"physical and emotional.
Getting the attack on the record would legitimize it in a way Gibbs wasn’t sure Tony anticipated. Or could handle. A part of him hoped that Tony wouldn’t remember, the protector in him rearing its head. But the investigative part of him knew that it was essential that Tony give them as much information as he could. So Gibbs could nail the torturing bastards to the wall. Once he found them, he was gonna take ‘em down.
Gibbs sighed, closing his eyes. He knew the other shoe was about to drop. Now that Tony was awake, there would be a great deal of emotional fallout to face and deal with. Tony was a rape survivor and Gibbs had no idea how to deal with that. As a protector, a mentor, a boss, a friend. He couldn’t help adding a silent “lover” after that, even though he hadn’t worked his feelings out yet.
Yeah, Gibbs had been tortured in the past, had dealt with the fallout of that himself, but he’d never experienced it in someone he was…in love with. He couldn’t fix this, much as he wanted to. He couldn’t protect Tony from the demons in his mind. He couldn’t take away the horrors Tony had experienced. All he could do was to be there for Tony when it all hit. And beyond. Be there for the long haul.
“Mr. Gibbs?” He looked up at the soft voice of a doctor who looked concerned and a bit embarrassed. She barely looked old enough to be out of med school, and yet she was wearing a lab coat and official hospital ID. He flicked a glance at her nametag. Shaw. She was one of the doctors consulting on Tony’s case. He’d seen them coming in and out but his focus and concentration had been so solidly on Tony that he hadn’t spared the time for any of the medical staff. Why, when they had Ducky to inform and update them?
“Yeah?” He said to the pretty blonde doctor and glanced at Tony’s room. “Is he okay?” He took a step closer to the room but she restrained him with a particularly firm grip on his arm that stopped him, but only for a second, until the surprise wore off.
“Mr. Gibbs! Stop. Don’t go in there until I brief you.”
“Talk,” he replied, knowing his eyes were blazing.
“Mr. DiNozzo wanted to know about his injuries…” She looked very uncomfortable now.
“And you told him?” Gibbs replied, his voice dropping as steel entered his tone. How dare she tell him when he didn’t have anyone in there with him? “This isn’t over,” he said in a voice that was distorted by his fury. He broke her hold on his arm, twisting her wrist away in a motion that had to be painful, and rushed into the room.
“Tony…”
“Gibbs…”
The expression on Tony’s face was enough to break anyone’s heart. Tears swam in his eyes, the devastation there so easy to read. Gibbs’ heart clenched at the anguish Tony was suffering but he made sure to keep it from showing on his face.
“Hey…” Gibbs kept his voice gentle as he sat on the edge of the bed for the first time. Tony had scooted over somehow, despite his injuries, and there was enough room for Gibbs to settle comfortably close for the first time since Tony had been injured. “Want to tell me about it?”
Tony shook his head, blinking back tears rapidly, his lower lip trembling. “Can you…”
“Can I what?”
Tony lifted his arms slowly, painfully, the plea in his eyes clear. Gibbs nodded, leaning in close, gathering Tony into a gentle embrace and holding the injured man’s head gently against his own shoulder. The bandages were off his head now and Gibbs stroked through Tony’s hair. “Easy…don’t want to hurt you even more,” Gibbs warned.
He felt a shudder rip through Tony and made his embrace even more gentle, comforting as best he could. “You okay.”
Tony started to nod and then shook his head, pressing his face against Gibbs’ shoulder. Gibbs felt Tony’s breath shudder as he surrendered, letting out quiet sobs. “Ah, Tony….Tony. I’m here. You’re gonna heal. We’re gonna fix it.” He knew he couldn’t make any promises beyond that, but he had to give Tony some hope.
As he thought about it, his anger toward the doctor grew. The doctor had no right telling Tony how things were without having anyone there to absorb it alongside Tony. Gibbs hadn’t even been briefed in a day or so. He wanted to ask what the update was, but he didn’t dare. Instead, he stroked the back of Tony’s neck and let him sob against his chest. It felt comfortable holding Tony like this, even though the circumstances were hardly ideal.
“Tony,” Gibbs whispered when the sobs started slowing, interspersed now with choking gasps of air. “Gonna ease you back down. You don’t want to stress your injuries.”
“Gibbs…”
“Right here…right here. Not leaving.” Getting in Doc’s face would have to wait. Turning, Gibbs grabbed a couple of tissues and wiped off Tony’s face in gentle sweeps. “Gonna shave you today. Haven’t been shaved in a few days.” Gibbs ran a gentle hand over Tony’s stubble and gave the other man a gentle smile.
“Sexy?” Tony asked, hope briefly sparking in his eyes before it and they faded, the life and light leeching out and leaving them dull. Gibbs cocked his head, not daring to answer yet.
Gibbs sat quietly with Tony, scooting in from the edge of the bed and resting his hand on Tony’s arm. He knew he had to let Tony get hold of his emotions on his own time.
“Tell me what the doctor said.” Gibbs said, finally breaking the silence He wanted to know if things has changed in the latest update. “They took the bandages off your head…”
Tony nodded, setting his jaw grimly. “Head is okay. Concussion. Just a hell of a headache. Hard headed. My um…back. Is gonna be okay.” Gibbs could tell from the way Tony was looking away that he meant rectally, and he breathed a sigh of relief. He’d been thinking the worst damage was inflicted there.
“All sorts of internal injuries. Ribs. Kidneys. Kicked the hell out of me, Gibbs.” A dark shadow fall over Tony’s face but it was gone quickly, Tony’s hold on his control fluctuating by the minute. “Gonna check on my liver to see what’s going on with it.”
Tony closed his eyes, nodding a couple of times. “Then we get to the really bad crap. My hands…are screwed up. Really bad. Gibbs…”
“I know,” Gibbs said softly. “You were pinned…” It sounded the easiest, the kindest, way to say it.
“Crucified,” Tony shot back angrily. “Say what it is, Gibbs! I was crucified. Raped. Say the damn words. Give me that.”
Gibbs met Tony’s eyes, trying to read his expression and what he needed.
“Don’t do that to me, Gibbs. Don’t do that whole manipulation thing you do, when you tell people what they want to hear instead of what is the truth. The absolute truth.” Tony sank back into the pillow, looking smaller and more vulnerable. It was clear the emotion and the revelation had taken a lot out of his senior agent.
“We don’t have to do this right now, Tony.”
“We do,” Tony replied tiredly. “This is my future and my life, Gibbs. We have to face it. Together.” The last word sounded tentative, but then he cleared his voice and swallowed hard. “Together, right?”
Gibbs nodded slowly. “Yeah, together, Tony. In this for the long haul. What about your hands…”
Tony looked down at the bandages heavily swathing his lower forearms and completely hiding his hands. “I have infections. They need to do surgery. Long recovery time, Gibbs. Don’t think I’ll be the same. Functioning, shooting a gun…”
He wanted honesty and Gibbs would give it. “Couple days ago, we weren’t sure you’d even live, Tony. And look at you now. Awake, alert.”
“Coming to you in dreams…”
“Coming to me in dreams,” Gibbs confirmed. It should have made him feel awkward to be talking like this about something that was impossible to understand or comprehend. “How’d you do that?”
Tony shrugged as best he could, finally lifting his eyes. “Don’t know. How’d your sweatshirt get here? Don’t know. Can’t understand or explain it. I needed you and we needed that conversation. Weren’t gonna break the ice with me awake.”
Probably not, Gibbs admitted to himself. “It’s a lot, Tony…”
“I know. You’re not gay or bi. Know it has to be a shock that we’re here. Especially since…” He trailed off and Gibbs watched him.
“Since?” Gibbs broke the silence after a couple of minutes.
“Since you’re in love with me.”
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.