A/N: fyi deviating from canon starts in this section
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They spent the weekend hidden away in her apartment, talking and filling each other in on their time separated and re-finding the easy intimacy they had shared. They had gone for a long, leisurely walk through her neighborhood and she was surprised to find his arm around her shoulder pulling her in close as they walked, they had never touched each other so openly in public and the ease with which he did it shocked her, but not enough to keep her arm from slipping around his waist to hang on to his belt loop. They visited the little specialty market that she liked so much and picked up what she needed to make one of his favorites of her culinary creations. She hadn't cooked for anyone since he left, there had just been no joy remaining in it, and she was looking forward to making him dinner.
And just like that, with the little pink trigger that found Gibbs' memories, they were back. Although throughout the weekend they were much more tactile with each other, showering casual touches and caresses, more than they had ever been. It was almost to the point of clingy, something distinctly out of character for either of them. And it wasn't until Sunday night as they were lying spooned together that the subject of the future came up, and it was then that they both realized that while the weekend had been a reconnection, it was also a goodbye.
Ziva knew he planned to go back to Mexico. And she also knew that although he would never ask her, he wanted her to go with him. But he wouldn't ask her to give up everything, her career, her friends, her family, her future to go live in a shack on a beach in Mexico with a broken and scarred retired NCIS agent. And she didn't know which thought terrified her more, that he would ask her to go with him, or that he wouldn't.
Gibbs also knew that if she asked him to stay that he would, for her. He wouldn't stay for the the job, or his sense of duty, and not even for his country, but he would for her, and her alone. And he also knew that she would never ask, and it was the reason he was so conflicted with his emotions when Fornell asked him for his help.
Ultimately he stayed, and as he sat staring at his badge he realized he had stayed for all the reasons that he thought he wouldn't have, his job, his duty, his country. But then he felt her hands on his shoulders, and a kiss on his head, and he smiled, because although he stayed for all those other things, he also stayed for her.
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With his badge on his belt, his gun on his hip, and her underwear back in his drawer they picked things up almost exactly where they left off. But he wasn't quite the same as he used to be, he laughed a little more and teased more openly, and then there was the mustache. And never before had simple facial hair generated so much scuttlebutt in the office. Ziva kept her opinion to herself, knowing that eventually that he would shave it off, and sure enough he did.
Their lives were full, and they would even say happy. And more nights of the week then not, they spent together. Their relationship had to revert back to its hidden status, and truth be told, this time around it bothered both of them a little, but they did it, and no one at NCIS was the wiser.
None the wiser until Ziva went undercover speed-dating that is. The Director and McGee were in MTAC, Tony had already left to be in place before Ziva got there, and Gibbs was riding up in the elevator with Ziva to see her off. He hit the emergency stop and stroked her cheek gently, warned her to be careful, and gave her a light kiss before hitting the stop switch and again setting the elevator in motion. What they didn't realize, was that although their earwigs and microphones had been turned off, that the live feed from Ziva's glasses was still broadcasting. Broadcasting to a completely flummoxed McGee, and a shocked Jenny in MTAC.
It wasn't that he had kissed Ziva that so shocked Jenny, it was what she saw in Gibbs' eyes. She had seen those eyes full of many things as they looked at her, but the gentle concern, familiarity and pure adoration that she saw directed at Ziva was something Jenny had never seen directed at her from Gibbs' eyes. And as she sat there with her mouth hanging open in surprise, Jenny realized that although Gibbs had loved many women in his life, herself included, that he was in love with Ziva. And that thought, as someone that cared about him deeply, made her smile, knowing that he likely hadn't truly felt that way about anyone since his wife Shannon was killed.
When Gibbs strode into MTAC a short while later, McGee stepped out at Jenny's request to have a moment alone with Gibbs. When she told him that they needed to have a “little talk” after this case was put to rest he had shot her a questioning look and she chided him, with the humor more than evident in her voice, that they must not have realized that the visual feed was still on in elevator. At the realization about what she was talking about hit him, he felt like he was back in the elevator, only this time it was free falling and about to hit bottom.
Her obvious humor at the situation alleviated some of his distress but he didn't have ready answer when she asked him how long, so he just mumbled “a while”. And as she interrogated further with a smirk on her face he found himself answering her in very short answers. Yes, before Mexico. No, no one else knows. No, it's not just a fling. He was being defensive, not for himself, but for what the thing was between he and Ziva. It was important to him that it was not made into something cheap and tawdry, something meaningless. And when Jenny asked him a final question, asked him if Ziva knew, he was confused and his sarcastic “what?” prompted Jenny to elaborate and ask him point blank if Ziva knew that he was in love with her. When he didn't answer and just glared in return her eyes softened and she advised him to tell Ziva, because they both deserved to be happy. And then she promised that they would work everything out, and for him not to worry.
When they were through he went to the door and got McGee. He attempted to glare at Tim as if to dare him to say anything, but it didn't work, Tim just stood there with a shadow of a smirk and promised that he hadn't seen a thing. There was just something about how seemingly happy for them McGee was that made Gibbs chuckle and raise his hands in a playful gesture pretending to choke Tim. It was another in a long series of bonding moments between the two men that had become more and more frequent since Gibbs' return from Mexico. Tim had changed while Gibbs was gone, matured into from a probie into a true junior agent. And Gibbs liked the new confidence and maturity in Tim and found himself working very well with him, an unusual situation for Gibbs, but one that good for both men.
There was one other person that had seen the elevator exchange, and and down in her lab, Abby wasn't happy about it. And not for the reason anyone might have suspected.
Later that night Gibbs was unusually quiet, and as Ziva slipped into the steaming shower behind him, massaging his shoulders, she could feel the tension. Tension that shouldn't be there considering the positive outcome of the case, the Lieutenant was safe and the robbery thwarted, but yet there it was, evident in his pensiveness and the knots she could feel under her fingers. She massaged his back and waited, knowing he would talk to her when he was ready. He savored the massage for a minute then told her about the fact that Jenny and McGee knew about them, and how. Ziva groaned and dropped her forehead onto his back. When he turned to face her, there was a little smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.
Before he had left the office, Jenny had called him into her office, where she said that since as a liaison that technically Ziva worked for Jenny and not specifically for Gibbs and that as long as they kept their work relationship professional and their personal life out of the office that she saw no reason to reassign Ziva to another team.
Gibbs and Ziva talked for a long time about whether or not to tell the rest of the team. In the end they decided that it was the right thing to do, and they were both a little giddy and a little nervous about the the thought of their relationship being out in the open. Both afraid that somehow that acknowledging that the thing between them was something would bring about its demise. But that negative thought was lost as the bedroom was filled with the sounds of playful teasing and laughter that soon turned into more passionate sounds as they made love joyfully, just losing themselves in each other.
The next morning started with a bang at NCIS. Tony and Ziva had headed down to Abby's lab to check on some evidence from a cold case they had been working on before the Lieutenant's kidnapping. It was oddly quiet and subdued. Abby rattled off the evidence and they turned to leave only to have Abby ask Ziva how she could do that. And in a typical Abby rant she went on and on about letting Abby say all those horrible mean things when Gibbs was in a coma, and how could she let Abby think that she didn't care about Gibbs for all these months, and why didn't she trust Abby enough to tell her. Abby ended it all by engulfing Ziva in a bear hug. Tony was clueless. Ziva realized that either McGee had told Abby about what he had seen or more likely, Abby had seen it herself.
As she hugged Abby back she told her quietly that she just couldn't at the time and that she was sorry. Abby felt absolutely awful about the things she had said all those months ago and kept trying to apologize, and Ziva had to reassure her that there was nothing to forgive. When Abby finally let her go, Ziva turned to Tony and dropped the whole bombshell on him. When he didn't say anything and turned on his heel and left she could tell he was hurt and angry.
Gibbs broke the news to Ducky, who although thrilled for the both of them, was cautiously optimistic. He had seen Jethro through three ex-wives and slew of almost ex-wives and just hoped for both their sakes that things did not take a sour turn.
Tony was the only one that didn't want to discuss it with anyone. And everyone tried, but he just put up a wall and refused to deal with it, choosing instead to just ignore it. Completely. And as the days turned into weeks after the reveal, his behavior started getting more and more peculiar, and secretive.
Gibbs and Ziva found that their new freedom took a little getting used to. They still needed to be discrete, but now they could at least go out for dinner or to a bar for a drink, or even the grocery store together without looking over their shoulders. People that had known Gibbs a long time were seeing him revert to a more relaxed and almost jovial man, like the man he had been a dozen years ago.
All in all, although work was always busy and stressful, life was good for the two of them. Or it was until a Marine Colonel was killed by a bomb at the Army/Navy Club and Lieutenant Colonel Hollis Mann entered the picture.
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tbc...
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