Chapter Two
Tony ran up the stairs, focusing on his task rather than the emotional fallout of what had just happened. He knew about Gibbs from Abby, but it was supposed to be a huge secret. He had no idea how Gibbs knew he’d figured it out.
Tony rummaged through the fridge and found some lettuce and tomato, and a pizza. He set the oven and went in search of a dustpan and brush. Having this task was helping, it was focusing him. The moisture of his tears was drying now, his emotional turmoil under control for the moment.
He looked at the pizza box and sighed. The pie would take eighteen minutes to cook. If the Boss was going to punish him for it, he’d gladly accept it. Gibbs was right; he needed his will taken from him right now.
Tony wiped down the counters as he waited for the stove to heat up. He started a pot of coffee, eyes drifting to an envelope that sat nearby. Knowing he shouldn’t do it, Tony peered in anyway.
La Grenouille? Gibbs had the file from the FBI? Tony stared at the first page, eyes blurring with fury for Jenny. She’d screwed him so thoroughly and in the end, Tony was sure she’d killed him after all.
“DiNozzo?” Tony’s head snapped up at Gibbs’ commanding tone, but he didn’t look the man in the eyes. He wasn’t about to tempt fate. “It’s over, Tony. The file…let me have it.”
“Does it"“ Gibbs’ hand came up and lightly cuffed him again and that was enough to stop him from speaking.
“Remember the rules I established, DiNozzo?” Gibbs said in that same soft voice. It was steel, holding command, and Tony could only nod, frustrated by his restrictions right now. The oven timer dinged and he glanced over, wanting to ask permission but knowing he didn’t have permission to speak yet.
“Go on, put the pizza in. How long will it take to cook?”
Tony looked up into Gibbs’ deep blue eyes, waiting for his permission to reply.
“Answer, Tony.” Gibbs let out a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Too soon. This is too soon for you.” He jerked his head just once, regarding Tony, his expression unreadable. “We’ll revisit the rules shortly, DiNozzo. For now, speak freely but don’t forget for a second that you’re mine.”
Disappointment raced through Tony. The rational side knew that Gibbs was giving him a chance to get answers he needed but another part of him felt the sharp sting of rejection and started wondering if he was good enough.
Gibbs could see every emotion running through DiNozzo and sighed inwardly. He was too drunk and too emotionally trashed to consider the consequences of what Tony might view as a rejection. He’d meant it to lessen the stress on Tony but it became immediately clear that he had to backpedal.
“C’mere, DiNozzo,” he said in a soft voice. When Tony didn’t move, he raised his voice, throwing every bit of authority into his tone. “DINOZZO! FRONT AND CENTER!”
Maybe it was military school training or maybe it was just eagerness to please, but in the span of a moment, Tony stood in front of him, head angled downward but posture otherwise tall.
“Look at me, Tony.” He was still every bit the commander though Gibbs felt as if he was crumbling around the edges.
Tony met his eyes now, sadness, guilt, and pain in his gaze. “You need to know what I found. Sit down. I’ll put the pizza in. Sit down now.”
Tony glanced toward the basement door and Gibbs shook his head slightly. “Time to clean that later, DiNozzo. Sit down.”
Tony sank into the kitchen chair and Gibbs joined him after putting the pizza in, leaning close so that their knees touched. “What I tell you stays in here for now. In this house, in our relationship. Okay?”
Tony didn’t answer but looked expectant and Gibbs cocked his head. “What?”
Tony put a finger to the corner of his mouth and Gibbs’ eyes widened fractionally. Even though he’d suspended the rules, Tony needed the structure. It sent a flare of heat rocketing through Gibbs.
“You may speak, Tony.”
“Will I get punished for not cleaning downstairs right away, Sir? And I need to know…is this one night. You said relationship…”
Gibbs leaned in closer, resting a hand on Tony’s knee and squeezing lightly. “Not sure what the hell it is yet, DiNozzo. We’ll figure it out. And no, I’m not punishing you. I gave you an order to sit down. And I’m giving you another order to speak freely until we’re done eating. Don’t worry, nothing changes. I’m not giving you up or pushing you away.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Tony whispered and Gibbs saw the tears glimmering in Tony’s eyes. The complex emotions that arose in Gibbs would have to be examined and figured out later. Right now he’d just give breathing room to the protectiveness that was grabbing him by the throat.
“Figured it out, Tony. When I called her, I was gonna confront her. She had to have killed Benoit.” He wouldn’t use the ridiculous French code name but the name of Jeanne’s father. This had been personal for Tony and someone needed to acknowledge it instead of brushing it off because it was uncomfortable.
“My clip was used. She manipulated us all; you for well over a year, the agency. She could have gotten you killed, could have gotten Duck killed, Jeanne, just collateral damage to her. Your heart, your emotions, just collateral fucking damage. Never thought I’d say this, but I regret the day I started training her.”
Tony’s hand shook when he put it to the corner of his mouth and Gibbs just watched him. Even though Tony had been given permission to speak, the structure was so vital to him. And Gibbs realized that caring for Tony was as vital to his healing as well.
“Speak, DiNozzo.”
“Don’t blame yourself,” Tony said in a rush. “It was her obsession. It was different from Ari, Boss. Ari hurt our people. Gerald and Ducky and…then Kate. It was different. No matter how great a man her father was, he wasn’t anything to us. Not so that Ducky needed to go undercover, or that I had to get involved with Jeanne. You’re not the director, Gibbs. Your mission was completely different from hers.”
Gibbs leaned back in his chair, forcing air out of his lungs. How the hell had Tony known what he was thinking and agonizing over?
Tony sighed, straining closer in his chair, clearly longing for some sort of contact from Gibbs. Maybe he wanted to reach out to Gibbs instead.
Gibbs drew small circles on Tony’s knee for a few moments before he reached out, hand stroking over Tony’s hair, fingers moving through the soft tendrils. Tony’d showered after leaving NCIS and the hair was slightly damp.
“Make ya a deal,” Gibbs said quietly. “You don’t blame yourself for following orders and I won’t blame myself for not stopping it before it was too late. Lost enough of you in the vendetta, DiNozzo. I refuse to lose any more of your soul. Now that it’s mine.”
Chapter End Notes:
This was intended to be a single story, but the big bit me and I decided to expand it. In the first chapter, Tony came to Gibbs' house and they were both shocked by what ensued. Gibbs exerted control and flirted with domination over Tony and both men realized that was what they needed. The first chapter can be found here.