Unexplainable Attraction
Why do you look so familiar
I could swear that I have seen your face before
I think I like that you seem sincere
I think I’d to get to know you a little bit more
KATE’S POV
I, Caitlin Todd, am miserable, and possibly, ever so slightly delusional.
When I say miserable, it’s not your typical Monday morning blues miserable. I’m talking about the mind numbing, fist clenching, toe curling, teeth grinding kind of miserable. But that could just be a new way of describing my anger towards a pig headed, disarmingly gorgeous son of a bitch.
Either way, I’m not very happy.
Not only do I no longer have a job with the Secret Service - a job where I was the youngest agent to ever have protected the President, a job where I could quite happily see myself for the foreseeable future - I have also been accused of double homicide, bustled into a bathroom and had to deal with the fall back of previously mentioned son of a bitch’s operations.
First he tries to take over the investigation, by pretending to be the medical examiners assistant, then when I discover who he really is, he dismisses, or tries to dismiss me for the quite possible fact that because I have breasts, I am inadequately qualified to work in the vicinity of him.
He’s actually very lucky that I didn’t follow through on my threat to shoot him, which I did twice. Although he did allow me to attack him in the cramped bathroom, and call him a bastard and an asshole; so there is an upside to being told my ex-boyfriend was dead and be accused of his murder.
So that’s the cause of my undesirably miserable state of mind this evening.
NCIS Special Agent Gibbs basically cost me my job - of which I was planning on resigning anyway, but that’s beside the point - and then offers me a job with him and his…I don’t even know how to describe the people I met in the past forty-eight hours. Does he think that because I agreed to a joint investigation and that I willingly listened to what he was telling me and teaching me and that I may consider taking him up on his offer, that I’ll instantly bow down to him in all his pretentious, conceited ‘glory’? There is not a chance in hell that will happen. I won’t accept the rules he gave me and I certainly won’t accept his dismissal or his disproving.
I wasn’t even on his team and yet he spent all evening Saturday ordering me round and giving me rules. Rules, which by definition are quite pathetic. As is his agent DiNozzo. How can measuring swimsuit models even compare to measuring a crime scene for a reconstruction? That guy really has the locker room mentality of a school boy.
I’m straying from the point completely. I was the Secret Service agent aboard the plane, who’s job it was to protect the President therefore making me team leader. But Gibbs had to be so heartbreakingly persistent, and there was his threat of throwing me off the plane and hi-jacking it, that I eventually dropped my guard and offered a joint investigation, which he accepted.
I could see it in his eyes, the second he stepped on that damn plane he wasn’t going to be easy or play nice. But little did he realise that little Caitlin Todd knew how to play with the big boys, and that she didn’t take kindly to being overlooked. If either him, or that Fornell guy had even tried one more time to make out that I didn’t know how to shoot my sig, I’d have let them have it. Quite possibly a double tap in the chest. But my God, that smile…
Okay, I’ll admit, there is something charming about him. It may have been that he was worried about me when I was ill, or that he called me Katie. He is quite attractive as well.
No, I can’t think like that. This is the whole reason I quit my job in the first place. I know it was wrong, and completely against the rules, but when Tim asked me out, how could I refuse. He too was charming, and knew how to make me laugh and a whole lot more things too! That was just a physical thing, me and Tim. And yet, I was willing to give up my career for him. I did that anyway but not for him, he was already dead by this point.
Does that sound harsh? Speaking ill of the dead like that? Karma is going to come back and bite me on the ass, I know it.
Right here and now, I promise myself never to fall for a co-worker ever again, no matter how charming or good-looking, or even how good they are in bed. Not that I would ever find out how good they are in bed if I never let myself take the chance of dating them in the first place. There! Besides, inter-team relationships are too damn complicated.
If I were to take the job he offered, and I’m not saying I am, but if I were, it would be hard to overcome these feelings. I know this. God, I am pathetic. Attracted to a man who I barely know.
It could be fun though; seeing how far I can push him until he breaks, falls at my feet and bowing down to me…
No! Kate, you have to stop thinking like this. The whole reason you are in this mess in the first place is because of Tim! And there I go, speaking ill of the dead yet again. Besides, nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever happen between you and that insufferable bastard!
Right, weigh up the pros and cons here…
Pros…
A seemingly fun work environment…
An attractive boss…
A semi attractive team mate…
The chance to actually get out there and prevent things and helping people other than being able to say ‘ I rode Air Force One twelve times.’…
A crazy tattooed lab tech and an extremely talkative and very gentle M.E…
Cons…
Are there any?
Just one that I can think of and that would be my attraction to my possible future boss.
Kate, you’re losing it here!
But one look and those eyes… Eyes that locked onto mine and made me forget my name. They are so blue, and full of emotion that he keeps from his face.
There was a moment between us, after I had been checked over by Ducky.
I had a little incident where, and this is so stupid, I was watching them bagging the evidence and I had the sudden urge to just throw up. I ran out the room heading for the bathroom but he stopped me and MADE me throw up in the evidence bag.
It was so embarrassing.
He led me to the couch, Ducky checked me over and then Gibbs asked how I was so sure it was the flu. I explained that Tim had the same symptoms as I had and neither men were sure how I contracted the virus if I hadn’t worked with him recently. It was then I rhetorically asked if Ducky thought I was a virgin.
Anyway, I was just lying there on the couch, feeling slightly sorry for myself and Gibbs was perched on the arm just watching me. He made sure to keep his eyes on mine and didn’t allow them to stray. Not even when I upped the ante and stretched my arm up, laying it behind my head.
Yes, I admit, I was seeing if he had the same mentality as DiNozzo, when greeted with a vulnerable woman who was practically offering herself on a plate, which he hasn’t, I don’t think. I think my movement was half nonchalance half defiant pose and whole lot of showing off my very feminine figure. I mean, it’s not like I ripped my shirt off, jumped in front of him and said ’I have breasts, what you gonna do about it?’ is it? Not that I didn’t consider doing that in the bathroom, however.
So there I was laying there, my position fully displaying my…uh…assets and he didn’t drift. Although, I’m pretty sure the cogs were working overtime in his head.
I was serious when I asked if he was going to lecture me on sleeping with people you work with, and he said he wasn’t. There seemed to be a mutual understanding between us, that yes, shit happens and you have to learn to deal with the consequences yourself. It also gave me a brief inlet that caused me to think I’m not alone in this.
How in the hell am I supposed to work under him when I keep thinking things like this?
…
Damn it! That was the wrong thing to say…and think.
But it could be so much more interesting working under him that way and so much more fun!
…
Time to change topic.
He called me Katie. That made me smile. No one has called me Katie since I was twelve, and even then it was just my dad. He was the only one allowed. My mother was forever calling me Caitlin, and Caitlin Jane when I was in trouble. She thought that my nickname was inappropriate as it was not my given name.
Caitlin is just too formal for me. I’m not a Caitlin, or even a Katie, I’m a Kate. It’s short, to the point and doesn’t leave room for questions - very much like me, come to think of it.
But when Gibbs called me Katie…he didn’t make it sound like I was a little girl, in a pink gingham pinafore and pigtails…he made it sound…sexy.
I actually felt shivers run down my spine. And it takes a lot to make me cry or completely lose track of all thoughts bar one…
…
And we are back with that specific train of thought yet again. My mother would be very disappointed if she knew what I was thinking right now.
I’m screwed!
…
I think perhaps an extremely cold shower is in order!
GIBBS POV
Wow...
I think it's safe to say that I, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, have fallen head over heels. That's all I have to say in the matter of Kate Todd. She's feisty, tenacious, not afraid to stand up to me.
Wow...
And in the bathroom? Her small body, pressed against mine in the small space...she fitted perfectly against me. I think some higher power is at work here...
Something in my gut is telling me that I was destined to meet this woman, offer her a job and fall in love with her; though the last two are not specifically in that order.
I said please to her. I never say please. Or thank you. Or sorry. She is definitely something if she can get me to say please after a few hours of knowing her.
I still can't get over holding her close to me like that. It's been years since I've held a woman that close, other than Abby. But Abby is like my daughter, the feelings I have for Caitlin Todd are...unexplainable.
There are a few images of the past few days I can’t delete; don’t want to delete from my memory. When I first spied her standing next to Fornell. She had a look of sheer determination; that she was going to remain in control of the situation at hand.
And when she wrapped her small hand around mine in a firm handshake that told me she wasn’t going to back down under any circumstances at getting whatever she wanted.
That moment after she had been checked by Ducky; laying in front of me on the small couch looking so vulnerable. There was a spark in her eyes though. She held my gaze for the longest time, longer than anyone had ever considered doing with me before, before nodding her head some what in an understanding manner of why I didn‘t state the millions of reasons it‘s a bad idea to get involved with a co-worker.
Perhaps there was a reason I didn’t lecture her on sleeping with the people you work with?
And finally; that cramped bathroom.
Okay, so I accused her of double homicide, and then she had called me an asshole and a bastard. Those two names I can live with because it’s true; at times I can be an asshole and on more than one occasion I’ve been told I’m a bastard.
Even in the first few hours of meeting her, I could tell she was perceptive, determined, very warm hearted and very kind. But I also knew she’d be vicious to deal with if ever messed with. I think the threats of being shot by her made that more than clear; and I‘d much rather stay on the nice side of Katie Todd, although the anger she portrays is quite fascinating.
The fireworks that erupted in her eyes when she was yelling at me and calling me bastard was spectacular.
But those first few hours working with her, she was so eager to learn about something she had no interest in. She only wanted to find out who had killed Commander Trapp and get the paperwork done. We all did.
Once she lost the whole hostile, passive aggressive thing she had working, and working well, it became obvious her beauty wasn’t just on the surface; my god she is beautiful.
One day I’ll test Katie Todd’s limits; see how far she can go. If she can go the distance being on my team. If she can handle working with a misanthropic, cynical jerk like me. Not to mention the sexual innuendos from DiNozzo day in, day out. Working side by side. Although…in doing that I’ll be pushing myself to the brink just by having her by my side; working with me day in day out. Either sitting opposite my desk or on my right.
One day, hopefully soon, I’ll be able to look at her without thinking thoughts an old man like me shouldn’t be thinking about his much younger future subordinate. Much younger.
Hopefully I’ll be able to stand next to her an not imagine pressing her body close to mine, even if it was just to hold her; feel her warm body against mine again…
One day, I’m going to tell her just what she done to me this weekend. And hopefully, she’ll understand my feelings. Hopefully she’ll feel the same.
Hopefully, we’ll grow old together.
Damn it, Jethro…you’ve been conquered.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Kate and Gibbs reflect on their meeting