Losing My Religion
That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
You screwed up. Royally. For the second time in as many weeks, you screwed up. Ducky says that you don’t need to apologise to him, but you do anyway. Countless times since getting him back. Because of your incompetence he could have died!
You don’t know what’s gotten into you; you can’t seem to do anything right these days. Bad luck seems to just follow you around.
You have to admit, getting you to go after Mrs Mallard while they took Ducky took some planning. How did they know that someone would be in the house watching them? How did they know that you’d be on protection detail?
*~*~*~*~*~*
The morning after you lost him, Jethro practically admitted his own wrong doing. He admitted he was wrong, that it was his fault. You know protection detail, you should have insisted that there be someone else in the house with you watching the mother while you watched Ducky. You were alone and you thought you could handle just one night. That’s all you had to do. Keep him safe for one night and everything would be okay, Ducky would be safe and you’d get the people going after him.
*~*~*~*~*~*
You’re sure that if Jethro hadn’t been helping Ducky he would’ve fired a bullet through the woman’s head. You could barely restrain yourself from doing it. You didn’t want another black mark next to your name, so you only arrested her. Fair enough, the three of you put a lot of force into slapping the handcuffs on her wrists; it was the least you could do for Ducky.
You wanted to go to the hospital with him and Jethro, but Ducky assured you he was okay and that he’d see you at the office. Jethro said the same and told you not to worry.
*~*~*~*~*~*
The ride back was quiet and uneventful. Except for the fact every three seconds you wanted to pull the trigger on your sig in order for your ‘passenger’ to shut the hell up. Screaming about the injustice and calling you all the names under the sun. you had a few choice names for her as well, but knowing your luck lately, if you chose to use them they’d likely end up on record. Tony kept you distracted for a good while. Questioning you about Steve Adler. A friend of yours is dating him and she called you, asking to meet up with them. Jethro couldn’t go with you unfortunately, you would’ve loved to have shown off your husband. At the end of the night, Steve walked you back to your car before going back to Laura at Philomena‘s.
As it turned out, Steve and Tony were frat brothers. When Tony started harassing you that morning it meant you were getting your old Tony back, so you didn’t bother to very much. Only when he insinuated he was your boyfriend you defended yourself; you didn’t want Jethro thinking you were cheating on him.
*~*~*~*~*~*
When Jethro and Ducky eventually arrived back, Jethro went to interrogation and left Ducky in your hands. This is when you started apologising, profusely. He said that you needn’t worry about him, that he was perfectly okay and that none of it was your fault.
You offered to drive him home, knowing his car wasn’t anywhere near the building but he declined your offer, saying that he would get a cab. You would hear none of it and gave him the keys to your car, and told him you’d be down shortly.
It wasn’t long after Ducky left that Jethro came back, telling you that he got a short statement; two words. You decided now was a good enough time to get down to Ducky, who had mentioned dropping in on Abby to reassure her of his health and well being before going to your car.
*~*~*~*~*~*
You were quiet on the drive to Ducky’s, he was quite happy to keep on a tangent of many subjects. You listened like you always do, because it all could have been so different. It gets to a point where you can hardly see the road because of the tears in your eyes. The guilt is starting to eat you up again, knowing it was your fault he was taken.
You don’t realise until it’s too late, but Ducky had slowly guided your car off to the side. You parked and he pulled you into his arms. You couldn’t describe how bad you felt to him, but he knows you, you didn’t need to.
He laughs gently, in that fatherly way and tells you he has all the faith in the world in you.
“Caitlin, it will take more than a psychotic funeral home director to get rid of me. I trust your abilities. Look at it from this perspective; we faced down a terrorist together while saving Gerald‘s arm, with us joined at the hip nothing can stop us or hurt our team.”
Somehow, he makes you understand and you’re able to drive on again. It still doesn’t stop you apologising.
He leaves you with a kiss to your cheek and the offer of lunch on Sunday with mother, and to bring Jethro along. You accept and he smiles, you smile back and know you’ll both be okay.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Set through The Meat Puzzle