Book II Chapter 2
Jethro and Abby ordered, and she studied him. He couldn’t stop the words that flowed out. “Mac’s regretting moving down here. We’re not meant to work together. Spent too much time apart for it to work, I guess. Every time we talk it’s about New York or how much he misses lab work and his friends up there. He’s staying out and away, and I think maybe he’s involved with someone else. No sex, he doesn’t come home for days and when he does it’s like everything is okay.” He looked up at Abby.
“I miss him, Abbs.”
“Mac isn’t that kind of guy Gibbs. He’s not going to cheat on you and leave you hanging.” She might not know Mac as well as her boss did, but she had gotten to know him over the last couple of years. He was an honorable man, not someone who would sneak around. Not after as long as the two of them had been together.
“I know. But…why did he stop caring all of a sudden. It was the only idea…”
"You know, this would be so much easier if the two of you were lesbians. At least two women can communicate and aren't afraid of their feelings." Abby should have known two of the manliest men in the world would go and screw up something as simple as emotions.
He chuckled quietly at Abbs’ comment about being lesbians. “Wouldn’t even settle the who does who debate, Abbs. Not that we have…in months.” He winced. Had it really been months? First Mac had popped a rib, then he’d been on an intense case. Then Kelly had come home and they’d been wrapped up with her. Yeah, it had been a half dozen weeks or more.
"Not coming around has little if anything to do with caring. True, he can't blame his time of month, but sometimes you just need to be on your own. You should know that, having been in a long distance relationship for as long as you two were. You must not have realized that you needed time apart because you spent most of it away from one another. When he first moved down here, you spent every waking moment not spent working together. You over did it, and now he needs his space. But he still loves you if you would pull your head out of your ass."
“I just want him around. In the same house. So I know he’s…safe.”
"You tell him that? No one would even think that you two moved in together because of anything more then a friendship." No one would believe that Gibbs was anything other then completely heterosexual. "You call his parents Mom and Dad, Kelly calls them Mop and Pop. He's family for all anyone you didn't tell would know. Two bedrooms but you would always know he made it home okay."
“Grown men don’t officially live together. People would look at us funny. He lives with me, Abbs. In my house. It’s just not on legal paper.” It wasn’t lost on him how he said his house.
“Your house, your rules, your boyfriend. What’s in it for your partner? I mean, outside of you and that beautiful body, and some of the best sex I had prior to meeting Ethan.” Obviously, Gibbs didn’t see a problem with it, but she was starting to pick up on a small undertone. “What is Mac’s in this deal? Does he get anything but you?”
He threw his hands up in frustration. He knew where Abbs was coming from, he’d been feeling it too. “I know! But what am I supposed to do about it, Abbs? It was always enough, it was always good enough. But he deserves more. And I’m screwing up…”
“It was always good enough, because it was for two days here, five days there. It’s not like he’d insist that you leave Kel’s for the weekend and find a hotel where you both could be traced. But now you’ve got him here forever, and you can’t expect the man to walk into the living shrine to your four marriages. How you managed to convince the ex-wives to stay there I’ll never know. But come on, Gibbs, it’s not fair! He gave up everything, sort of. You’ve given up nothing for him.”
“We did hotels a couple times. Paid cash,” he admitted. “You expect me"he expects me"to sell my house. My house…”
They had enough money to buy a place, even if Mac called it blood money, but he was entrenched there. It was his house. “My house, huh?”
“I don’t know what he expects and it’s not my place to say what I expect. Maybe not sell. But come on, have you gotten new furniture since you bought the place? Have you cleared out space that isn’t in the guest room for Mac to be?” Abby knew that what ever was happening wasn’t intentional, just general male inattention. “It’s an idea, maybe you just need to rearrange your life some, allow Mac space or the chance to change things.”
“You’re right. I never saw it that way and he never said. We put the couch in the basement, got new sheets, divided the closet. But nothing else. I never….did I ever make him feel welcome even? Like I wanted him there--really wanted him there? God, Abbs. I’m an ass.”
“But you’re an ass who has someone who loves him. I don’t know that Mac is thinking that, but it’s something I wouldn’t stand for. Don’t have to sell the place, but let him in. Change some furniture, some paint and maybe even a flat screen TV.” If Gibbs would agree, she knew she had a friend in Kelly to do the updating. “You don’t even have to do anything, let your daughter and I do our thing and you can just write the checks.”
“I’ll talk to him, Abbs, I promise. We have to work it out.”
“I’m not being judgmental here, but what are you offering him to come home to? You already said you are downstairs with your boat getting drunk most nights. That doesn’t give you a lot of time to just be with Mac. Not even you could be that quick in the bedroom. It’s not making sense to me how you two have gone from a happy couple to not even looking at one another when you’re in the same pub.”
“After I’m sure he’s gone, Abbs. When it seems like he might come home I stay sober. Just in case he wants to…”
He shrugged, watching Mac. “He looks so damn unhappy, Abbs. One of the reasons we never did this before was that we always worried one would resent moving and giving up his life. And look. There’s the other half of me and the last time we were this far apart was when I married Stephanie.”
"You're not exactly looking like Little Miss Sunshine yourself, Gibbs." Abby knew the pop culture reference was pointless, although having a daughter he may have read her the book once upon a time. "Do you want me to go over there and talk to him? I should say hello to Ethan, and see what's going on with Mac. I can't make a diagnosis if I don't see both sides of things. But I can hold off, I don't think they're running out of here any time soon."
He shrugged. “If you want to. But I’m not. I can’t. Not in public. Won’t humiliate myself like that, by asking him to be with me in a place we come to a couple times a month.”
He jerked his head toward the bar. “And DiNozzo’s here.”
"He said he was going out. Had no idea it was here, but it seems to be a fed hangout." Abby saw a couple other people she'd seen in court or around various federal complexes. "I'll go talk to them, should at least acknowledge my boyfriend since we're in the same place. But it can wait. Get some drinks in us, then I can go humiliate myself and you can come save me. Will give you a good reason to come over and say hello. Bet if you did, Mac would stop looking like someone ran over his puppy."
“Then you better get us both drunk, Abbs.” He closed his eyes. This was going to be a disaster, Mac and Tony in the same room. “Tony doesn’t go out much anymore since Benoit, right?”
Maybe they should invite DiNozzo over but he knew Mac would misconstrue it.
“With me, yes. With anyone else? No, he doesn’t. Tony changed a lot, Gibbs.” Abby wasn’t sure how she managed to keep all her men happy, not with them all requiring her time. It was a good thing the party scene had gotten old. She still clubbed, but not nearly as much as she used to. “She really did a number on him, not too many people that Tony trusts anymore. This place though, he can fit in and not draw a lot of attention to himself. It’s like going out light. He can go out, have a drink and no one bothers him. So he can tell me he goes out, but still not really do anything exciting.”
He nodded, understanding. “Abbs, I’m worried about him…” His decision made, he stood up, intending to ask DiNozzo over, but then the other man disappeared into the bathroom.
“Since we’re up, let’s go visit Ethan.” Not Mac, since he’d disappeared too. Mac and Tony in the bathroom together. Jet was glad he wasn’t there.
“Hey, Ethan. You guys okay?”
“I’m fine, Jethro.” Ethan stood, shaking hands with his friend. “Even better now that you’ve brought my woman over to visit. I was hoping you weren’t going to monopolize her all night.”
He looked to where Mac had been sitting. “How is he, Ethan? I…I’m worried. You work with him, you’d know best.”
Jethro wearily dropped into the seat across from Ethan, maintaining eye contact with the other man.
“Looks about as good as you do, Gibbs. Don’t know what you two are doing to one another, and it’s not really my business but you need to quit it.” Ethan didn’t know Gibbs well enough to tell the man his business, but he wouldn’t watch his friend be trampled on. “He’s talking about taking some time off and going to Chicago. While his parents would love the visit, I’m a little more concerned with making sure he comes back.”
Gibbs looked down at the table, nodding. “Not losing him. He’s not going anywhere. Understand me? I’ll fix it. You’re damn right I’m gonna fix it.” He looked at Ethan first and then Abby. “I’m fixing it. Tonight. Now.”
“Hey, we’re not going to stop you, boss man. We’re both here to support you and Mac. We want to keep our favorite guys together.” When Ethan didn’t chime right in, Abby nudged him.
“We do, I have never seen you so happy as when you’re with Mac. That goes a long way with me. We’ll support you, but you have to change, Mac has to speak up too, while you listen and add to the discussion. Seriously, if you two would talk, none of this would have happened.”
“We forgot how to,” Jethro explained carefully. “But it all ends tonight. He needs to know how much I miss him.
“It’s a start, Gibbs. He misses you. I’ve been listening to him talk about it all night about how it isn’t the same as it had been.” Ethan wouldn’t give everything away though. He wouldn’t betray Mac’s thoughts or feelings. If Mac wanted his lover to know something, he would tell him. “Don’t think it’s going to be easy though. You two have done a lot of damage.”
“Yeah, we have an endless capacity to hurt each other. Something we’ve always been damn good at. Usually me while he lets himself be the other person in my marriages.”
Jethro sometimes felt like a real ass about the way he’d treated Mac, even though his intentions had always been good.
"Mac can be pretty passive-aggressive at times. Just because he was sitting back letting you take chunks out of him, don't think that he wasn't taking notes for later." Ethan had learned the hard way in New York that Mac took a lot of shit, but once he broke it wasn't pretty. "Think you two might need to work hard at this, but I think you might make it out the other end stronger if that's what you want."
“Oh, I know, Ethan. We’ve had our share of his passive agressive crap that exploded into something else entirely. We’re either gonna bend and snap back stronger or we’re gonna break.”
It was the truth and there was some relief in knowing that. “We have our patterns and we’re creatures of habit.” God, what he wouldn’t do for a Mac power fuck right now. Would show him that Mac cared at least.
“Better not be break, Gibbs. He says he’ll come back from Chicago, but he needs to know he would have something to come back to.” If everything went right, Mac might not go at all, instead bringing his parents to DC for a visit.
“You can’t let him go, Gibbs. You need to do something, or else we’re going to lose him.” Abby had heard enough; she never thought Mac would leave. “Do what you have to, but don’t let him go.”
“He’s going to Chicago? I…didn’t know.” He sank into the booth across from Ethan. “He never told me. He…never told me.” Jethro shook his head and set his jaw. “He’s not going without me. We’re not…I’m not losing him.”
It was apparent that Gibbs had only been half listening to him. “Yeah, said he might get away for a while. He can’t stay gone too long; he’s the pretty boy that makes our organization run. No one but your Girl Friday wants to see me come walking into their office to do business. I’m not real fond of the idea of ending up on the streets, all because you two were too damn stubborn to deal with one another.”
Mac loved the business. He’d never leave it…would he? “Ethan, he’s not going anywhere. We’ll make it work. We have to. I can’t live without him and I know he can’t live without me. We’ll…we’ll make it, Ethan. We have to. I’m not living without him.”
“First smart thing I’ve heard you say tonight, Jethro. There might be hope yet.” Maybe both of them needed a break from DC, and going to Chicago together could be a very good thing for their relationship. “I’m also going to hold you to it. I don’t want to have to kick your ass. But I will.”
He raised his hand, threatening to cuff Ethan. “You couldn’t kick my ass, Ethan. As good as you are, you’re no Mac. And even he has trouble kicking my ass unless I let him.”
“Don’t underestimate me, Gibbs.” Ethan had done his research, and knew that Gibbs was good, but hand to hand wasn’t his strongest skill. “I’ve got a feeling though, if you knew you deserved it, you’d let me get a couple good shots in, without much fight. Plus my girl will be on my side. Don’t want Abby upset with you that you bruised the goods.”
“You keep thinking that. I’m glad Mac has a protector, as wimpy as he is.” Ethan’s eyes flashed and Gibbs chuckled. “See? You’re his protector, Ethan. What happened to Mac. He got soft, eh?”
“You know that’s not the case. He’d be pissed if he knew I was talking to you like this.” Mac wouldn’t like it, but if it got both men talking Ethan would suck it up and deal with the aftermath. “This isn’t about you or Mac as much as it’s about keeping Abby happy. You two together make Abbs happy, for some reason that I’ve yet to comprehend.”
“Isn’t that sweet, Gibbs? He’s not going to kick your ass for Mac, but for me.” Abbs grinned at her boyfriend, knowing that he would do pretty much anything for her. “Well, maybe not so sweet in your eyes. But you couldn’t ask for a better guy for me. He’ll put his own personal well being on the line for my happiness.”
“Because he knows I can best him. Those who can, do. Those who got soft, teach. Like you and Mackai, Ethan. It’s okay. You get old; you get soft. Poor guy.” Yeah Mac would be furious if he knew. Jet wasn’t thrilled that Mac himself had gone to Ethan but he accepted it. They both needed a friend who cared.
“Yeah, sweet, Abbs. Like I’ve never seen before.”
“Stop being a crab, will you, Gibbs! Ethan isn’t old, seems to me he’s younger than you are. And I know from very up close and personal experience, he’s not soft.” Not understanding the turn of the conversation, Abby frowned.
“Ethan and I care about Mac the same way I care about you and we’re both worried about you. If you don’t like it, then get off the pot and do something about it. We both want the best for both of you, and I think that you know that, which makes you even grouchier. So suck it up and deal with the fact that I love you, even if you don’t think you need anyone to do that.”
Abby didn’t understand the way men worked. He jerked his chin toward Ethan, knowing the other man knew that they were posturing to an extent. “Let me handle my relationship, Abbs. I appreciate what you’ve both done but now is the time to step back and away and let Mac and I figure it out. Am I understood?”
“Fine, but don’t screw this up any more then you already have!” Abby pouted, not liking being cut out. She had come out to dinner tonight to help her boss and now she was out of the loop again. “Because I will turn Ethan loose on you, and not regret it one bit.”
He sighed. “Abbs, it isn’t like that. Message received. I can take it from here. I don’t need any more lectures. I know what I need to do. No harm done, right?” He squeezed her hand, seeking to reassure her.
“We lecture because we love you both, Jethro. Well, I love you and Ethan likes you and Mac a whole lot.” Abby squeezed her boss’s hand back, so he knew she wasn’t mad at him, just concerned. “I want you both happy and I know that together you have a better shot at it. So I’ll step back, but if I think you are regressing I will stick my nose back in.”
“Thanks, guys.” He really did appreciate them and their help.
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