It was so easy that night
Should’ve been strong
Yeah I lied
Nobody gets me like you
Couldn't keep hold of you then
How could I know what you meant
There was nothing to compare too
It had been three days since the incident at her apartment. She hadn’t spoken to Tony. Tony hadn’t spoken to her. Of course, at work they were civilised, but their conversation never went past the point of discussing the current case they were on. The banter between Kate and Tony ceased to exist and the tension in the bullpen was becoming unbearable. Everyone, especially Gibbs, had noticed that there was a lack of comfort in the work place. The tension between Kate and Tony was getting to everyone. Kate couldn’t take it anymore. Standing from her chair, she walked past Tony’s desk and headed for the elevator, destined for Abby’s lab.
I know everything changes
All the cities and faces
But I know how I feel about you.
There's a mountain between us
But there's one thing I’m sure of
That I know how I feel about you
When she reached the lab it was unusually quiet. She stepped in only to be bombarded with extremely loud rock music.
“Abby!”
“Oh, hey Kate. What do you think of my new CD?”
“Uh, yeah. Could you turn it down a little?”
A slight blush crept over the Goth’s face as she grabbed the stereo remote and turned the music off.
“What’s up?”
“Uh, I, uh…I think I broke Tony’s heart.”
The lab was now completely silent as Abby took this new information in.
“How?”
“He came over three nights ago and admitted he loved me. Then he kissed me and I told him that I didn’t love him. We haven’t spoken since then, Abbs.”
“Is that why he’s been in a foul mood?”
“I think so. Oh, what am I going to do? I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
Abby paused for a moment while she thought through the possible actions Kate could take. On one hand, Kate could admit the truth and tell Tony how she feels about him. On the other, Kate could apologise and Tony would never talk to her again, it was a tough decision but Abby knew what had to happen.
“Tell him the truth.”
“Which is?”
“You love him.”
“Abby, how…”
“I see and hear everything, Kate. You should know that by now. I’ve seen the way you looked at him. I know, Kate.”
Kate looked sceptically at her best friend. Was this just a trick to get her to admit how she really felt, or did Abby really know the truth?
“Okay, I love Tony! I, Caitlin Todd, hereby declare that I am madly in love with Anthony DiNozzo and have been since I met him on board Air Force One! You happy now?”
“Yeah. Now go tell him that.”
“How? He won’t talk to me unless it’s about work.”
“Wait till after work. Go by his place tonight and just do what he did. Except you’ll be sober… You will be sober, right?”
“I don’t know, Abbs. I need all the courage I can get right now. Ugh, what if he doesn’t let me in?”
“Tell him it’s important, or to do with work. He might listen to you then.”
“Okay. But if this doesn’t work then expect to see me on your doorstep tonight, intoxicated. And I’ll be bringing more drink with me.”
“There won’t be any need, Kate. Now go do some work.”
Can we bring yesterday back around
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb I was wrong I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Back in the bullpen, Tony had been running things through his head. He’d been an idiot, telling Kate how he felt about her without knowing if she felt the same way. But that was the whole reason he done it, to find out how she felt. And now he knew, there was no way he could change it. He felt disappointed but at the same time, let down by Kate. Glancing at his watch, he realised it was five pm and Magnum was calling him from his house.
Almost as if he had read his mind, Gibbs glanced up at the two agents in the bullpen and told them to go home.
“Where’s Kate?”
“Uh, she’s with Abby I think, boss.”
Just at that, Kate re-entered the bullpen when she heard her name.
“No, I’m here.”
“Home time. I’ll see you three tomorrow.”
Tony and McGee ran from the bullpen as Kate walked to her desk and slowly began packing her things up.
“Something on your mind, Kate?”
“No. Nothing, Gibbs. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Kate left the bullpen and decided on taking the stairs down. As she walked out to the car park, she was surprised to see Tony sitting in his car. She was in two minds whether or not to go over and talk to him or not but as he looked up and seen her, he started the car and drove off. Kate sighed and headed to her own car still unsure about what it would take for her and Tony to get back on speaking terms.
All that it takes
One more chance
Don’t let our last kiss
Be our last
Give me tonight and I’ll show you
Letting herself into her apartment, Kate had no idea what to do. Jumping in the shower, Kate remembered what Tony had said about their kiss. Strawberry kisses. He liked strawberry kisses. A plan began formulating in Kate’s head; she knew what she had to do. Grabbing a bottle of strawberry shower gel from the shelf, the plan became clearer in her head. Stepping out the shower, she took the moisturiser from the table. Instead of her usual bottle of aloe vera and peach, she grabbed her strawberry moisturiser. She only hoped that this plan would work. If she could lull him into her now strawberry scent and admit to him what he already knew, things just might work out right. As she dressed, there was one more thing she had to pick up before she started her short journey to Tony’s.
I know everything changes
I don't care where it takes us
Cause I know how I feel
About you
Kate sat in her car parked outside Tony’s apartment block. Once she had left work, and seen Tony sitting in his car she realised that Abby was right. There was no way she could go on denying to herself and to Tony how she really felt. They both deserved to hear the truth, even if they both already knew it. Getting out the car, she walked towards the building, playing the words over in her head. She only hoped that they would come out right when it came to speaking.
She knocked once on the door and hoped he wasn’t in. But no, he was in. Hearing the footsteps getting closer, she held her breathe in anticipation. The door opened and Tony stood there in jeans and a t-shirt. Kate exhaled as she took in the body in front of her. The t-shirt fitted perfect and she could see his well-defined six-pack.
“What are you doing here, Kate?”
“I came to talk.”
“I don’t think there’s anything left to say. You made it pretty clear the other night how you feel.”
“Tony, please. I think you need to here this. I need to clear a few things up.”
“I don’t know…”
“Please, can I just come in?”
“Fine.”
He opened the door up further and she took unsteady steps into his apartment. It was just how she imagined it. As she followed him through to his living room, she had completely forgotten what she was planning on saying to him. She looked around and her eyes finally rested back on Tony’s, who was waiting impatiently for her to talk.
“Tony, I…”
“No, Kate. Don’t say it. I was drunk and I apologise. Had I known you never felt the same way I would never have acted on my feelings.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you if you’d let me get a word in. For months, I’ve been pushing my feelings out of my head and my heart. Trying to convince myself that the only thing I feel for you is friendship, a brother sister relationship. I never wanted to admit to myself, or to you, that on Air Force One, I fell hard. And I’ve been falling ever since. And you caught me three nights ago and I didn’t know how to respond. I realise I should’ve been strong that night and confronted my feelings, told you the truth, but I lied.”
“What are you saying, Kate?”
“I’m saying, that I was dumb and I was wrong. Since that night, I’ve been thinking about you more than I usually do. I’ve been thinking how to put this right. I know now. I know how I feel about you. The way I’ve always felt. I love you.”
Can we bring yesterday back around
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Not a day passed me by
Not a day passed me by
That I don’t think about you
And there’s no moving on
Cause I know you’re the one
And I can’t be without you
Tony took a moment to think before breaking out his trademark grin. As he walked towards her, Kate was confused.
“So, you’re not mad at me anymore?”
“Katie, I could never stay mad at you. I just had to wait for you to come to your senses and realise what was already there. I know you would never let a good thing pass you by.”
Smiling now, Kate reached into her pocket and pulled out a stick of lipbalm, now it was Tony’s turn to be confused.
“What’s that?”
“Strawberry lipbalm. I know how much you like strawberry kisses.”
“I knew there was a reason I liked to Katie Todd.”
“Liked? Three nights ago it was ‘loved’. What changed?”
“Well, it depends.”
“On what?”
“On whether our first kiss will be our last.”
“Tony, we’ve already had our first kiss. And if you don’t get over here soon, there will be no others.”
Closing the small distance between them, Tony grabbed Kate in his arms and kissed her. Kate smiled as he pulled back, and stayed wrapped up in his arms.
“Well?”
“Uh, I need to do some more investigating first before I’m sure but, I love strawberry kisses, I love you and I love receiving strawberry kisses from you.”
“And I love giving them to you.”
“So there you go. I think I missed a bit of lipbalm though.”
Kate laughed as he pulled her back in for another kiss. A kiss that would lead into the unknown.
Can we bring yesterday back around
Cause I know how I feel about you now
I was dumb I was wrong I let you down
But I know how I feel about you now
Author's Chapter Notes:
Will our two heroes ever get over this?
Chapter End Notes:
Still say it sucks.