He felt the cold metal of the gun press against his temple and started to shake. Now he was scared, he wished that Gibbs would tackle him and take the gun. He put his finger on the trigger and his breathing became rapid.
Gibbs sat there and wondered in horror if Tony was actually going to pull the trigger. He watched as Tony began to shake and his breath became faster. He knew he had to run to Tony and take the gun, hold him tight and reassure him everything was ok but something held him back.
Tony closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Jethro... God Jethro take the... Take the fucking gun off me,” Tony yelled shakily. Gibbs was up and ran the few steps to Tony, seizing the gun and throwing it across the room. He held Tony tightly to his chest. Tony clung to Gibbs and let the tears fall down his cheeks. He had been so close to pulling the trigger and now regretted even thinking so idiotically.
“Shhh, it’s ok,” Gibbs whispered in his ear. Tony shook as he cried, scared more than anything.
“It’s not ok,” he managed to get out. Gibbs knew that Tony was right, that it wasn’t “ok” so he didn’t say anything else just held his scared, hurt lover. This wasn’t fair, why did all these horrible things have to keep happening? They sat in the basement for a long time and soon noticed that it was getting dark. Abby would bring the kids around any time now and Gibbs knew that he couldn’t let them see Tony in the state he was in. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Abby could be heard bringing the kids inside.
“Gibbs, Tony,” she yelled out. Gibbs wanted to yell back and tell her they were in the basement but he couldn’t find his voice and Tony was still upset. He heard Abby coming down the basement stairs then stop.
“Gibbs,” she said.
“Over here Abbs,” he said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear. She walked around the boat and stopped in her tracks. She turned back around and walked to the stairs.
“Go up to your room, I’ll be up soon,” Abby said. Gibbs guessed that the kids had come down with her. He heard the quiet footsteps of Rani going up and heard Abby take Kaushal up before coming back down. She stood in front of them, shock on her face, she had a few theories about the situation but wasn’t sure.
“What happened?” she whispered. Gibbs just shook his head and stood up, pulling a fragile Tony up with him. He walked Tony upstairs and when they walked past the kids room it pulled at Gibbs heart strings knowing that the kids would see their Daddy in a mess. He walked Tony into the bedroom and carefully laid him on the bed. He kissed Tony gently and sitting with him until he fell asleep which didn’t take very long. Gibbs walked into the kid’s room and Rani ran to him.
“Dad, why is Daddy upset?” she asked. Gibbs picked her up and sat on her bed.
“Daddy is upset because...” Gibbs couldn’t think of what to say, she was too young to understand what had happened today.
“Is it my fault Daddy’s upset?” she asked innocently. Gibbs’ heart ached with pain at the words.
“Sweetie no, Daddy will never be upset because of you, please don’t ever think it’s your fault,” he said as he looked over to Kaushal who had fallen asleep on the floor. Maybe he could explain why Tony was upset, maybe she would understand, she’s brighter than everyone thinks.
“Make sure Daddy is ok,” she said before crawling into bed. Gibbs kissed her goodnight before putting Kaushal into bed and turning the light off, tonight he closed the door, something he never did. He walked into the living room where Abby was waiting for him.
“What happened Gibbs?” she asked in almost a whisper.
“Tony was seeing Jeanne again, but I can’t blame him for this,” Gibbs said as he sat down. He waited for Abby to reply but didn’t say anything so he continued.
“That’s why I took the kids to you, then I went back. I grabbed him and told... Yelled at him to get in the car, then I told her never to see him again,” Gibbs stopped. This was hurting him to replay the events but he guessed he deserved all the punishment he could get.
“Gibbs, you ok?” Abby asked even though she knew the answer.
“When we got home he was really angry, he looked like he could kill, then he disappeared, I assumed he was crying out his anger in the bedroom or somewhere like that...” Gibbs paused as he remembered walking down into the basement and seeing Tony with the gun.
“When I looked for him he was in the basement, with his gun... He wanted to shoot himself, I thought it was going to kill me Abbs, I really did,” Gibbs said. All he wanted to do was go in and hold Tony, to try and make up for what he’d done.
“Gibbs,” Abby said in alarm. She hugged him and when he pulled back to look at her he saw tears in her eyes.
“Go back to him,” Abby said as she stood up. She let herself out and Gibbs went into the bedroom where he saw Tony sleeping. He got into bed and held Tony and felt some comfort. He fell asleep and hoped that he wouldn’t dream of today’s events.
“Go back into your room, I’m coming now,” Gibbs heard Tony whisper and he smiled on the inside. Tony sounded like himself, like nothing had happened yesterday and hoped that he wasn’t going to bottle it up. Tony kissed his cheek before he got up and Gibbs smiled.
When the bedroom door closed Gibbs opened his eyes and thought to himself for a while. He knew that he wasn’t going to be perfectly ok for some time and he was mentally a lot stronger than Tony. So he wondered if Tony was actually coping with this or if he was just hiding it, scared that if he let his emotions out too much he’d be considered weak.
After a while Gibbs got up and dressed before following the laughs into the living room. He smiled as he watched Tony carrying Kaushal around the living room chasing Rani.
“Dad, save me,” she squealed playfully. Gibbs picked her up and playfully shielded her from Tony’s playful attack. They ran around the house been chased by Tony who was carrying Kaushal. Finally Gibbs ran to the table near the door and grabbed the car keys. He ran to the car and put Rani in before driving to NCIS. He raced into the building with Rani, a grin wide across his face. When Ziva and McGee saw Gibbs rush out of the elevator they jumped to their feet in a panic.
“Gibbs,” Ziva said worried something had happened to Tony.
“Aunty Ziva,” Rani smiled as Gibbs put her down. She ran to Ziva who picked her up. She and Tim walked over to Gibbs.
“Where’s Tony?” McGee asked.
“I can see you Rani,” Tony smiled from the elevator before walking towards them with Kaushal.
“Daddy no more tickling,” Rani warned.
“Ok, no more tickling,” Tony promised as he stood next to Gibbs.
“You two are very happy,” McGee pointed out.
“Well yeah, we’re getting married soon,” Tony smiled happily. Everybody smiled at the thought of the upcoming wedding.
“Sir,” said one of the fill in agents.
“Yes?” McGee asked as he turned to look at her.
“There’s someone here to see you,” she said. McGee nodded and followed the agent.
“Does McGee have a girlfriend Ziva?” Tony asked. Ziva looked at Tony then shrugged.
“We better get home, got some final arrangement to do,” Gibbs said as he took Kaushal.
“Ok,” Tony smiled as he picked up Rani and they left. When they returned home they made sure the kids were happy to play by themselves for a while before they walked into the living room. Gibbs sat on the couch followed by Tony.
“So, what’s left to plan?” Tony asked curiously.
“Nothing,” Gibbs said as he took Tony’s hands.
“Then why did you say...” Gibbs placed a finger on Tony’s lips.
“Are you ok?” Gibbs asked knowing Tony knew what he was talking about.
“Yes,” Tony said and he was, he knew that what he did was stupid but he knew that it was best to put it in the past and that is what he did.
“I don’t want you to say that then let all of your emotions out and do something really stupid, worse than before,” Gibbs said.
“Jethro, it will never happen again, I promise,” Tony said as he looked into Gibbs’ eyes.
“I know,” Gibbs said before he leant in and kissed Tony.
“Ewwwww,” Tony and Gibbs looked up to see Rani in the door way pulling a face. They smiled as she walked over to them.
“Where’s your brother?” Gibbs asked her as he sat her on his knee.
“There,” she pointed to the doorway where Kaushal was crawling in. Tony ran to him and picked him up, playfully bringing him to the couch.
Chapter End Notes:
Once again sorry for the late update....