~I Can't Find A Reason To Let Go
~Even Though You've Found A New Love
~And She's What Your Dreams Are Made Of
I can't believe you would do this. I just can't. I refuse to believe you are gone. I keep telling myself that you will knock on that door any minute now. I have a thousand questions running constantly through my head.
~I Can Find A Reason To Hang On
~What Went Wrong Can Be Forgiven
~Without You, It Ain't Worth Livin' Alone
Why? What did I do that was so wrong? How can we fix this? I love you so much. If you just come home, we can make this work. I know we can. I don't want to do this alone.
~Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night
~And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name
~What Right Does She Have To Take You Away
~When For So Long, You Were Mine
I can't stand being alone at night without you. I am so lonely. I miss having you hold me. Please. Whatever it takes, I'll do it. I can't stand the thought of you in somebody else's arms. You belong here with me.
~I Took Out All The Pictures Of Our Wedding Day
~It Was A Time Of Love And Laughter
~Happy Ever After
~But Even Those Old Pictures Have Begun To Fade
~Please Tell Me She's Not Real
~And That You're Really Coming Home To Stay
I sit and stare at our wedding pictures. All I can think about was how you promised to love me forever. What happened to forever? What makes her special enough to destroy forever? I need you. I love you more than she ever will. Please come back.
~Sometimes I Wake Up Crying At Night
~And Sometimes I Scream Out Your Name
~What Right Does She Have To Take Your Heart Away
~When For So Long, You Were Mine
Everybody has told me that I need to move on. I can't. I can't face the truth. The truth that I was such a terrible wife. The truth that I drove you into another woman's arms. The truth that you will never be coming back. The truth that you don't love me anymore. I know you're not coming back to me no matter what I say to you, no matter how much I beg.
~I Can Give You Two Good Reasons
~To Show You Love's Not Blind
~He's Two And She's Four, And You Know They Adore You
~So How Can I Tell Them You've Changed Your Mind
If you can't find it in your heart to come back for me, at least think of your children. Your daughter is starting to ask where her daddy is and why mommy is always crying. You always called her your little princess. Your son hasn't asked, but I can tell he knows you're not here. They miss you more than I do. They still love you. I'm tired of making up excuses. How can you walk away from them? How can you live with yourself? Is she that special that you can just ignore your own children? Don't you miss hearing them call you daddy? You may not want to be my husband anymore, but you will always be their daddy.
~I Remember When You Were Mine.
I'm not giving up on you. I know deep inside you still know you belong here with me and your children. I am willing to forgive you and put this all behind us if you will just come back to me. I still love you. Please come home.
Kate was staring at the letter, watching her tears stain the paper when a knock at the door caused her to jump. She glanced over at her two children sitting in the living room, watching television. She sighed and walked to the front door. She opened the door to find Abby and Tim standing there with pizza, sodas and other assorted snack foods.
"Hey Kate. Thought you guys might like dinner and a movie." Abby smiled at her. "You game?"
She tried to sound interested. "Sure come on in."
Tim gave her a smile as he walked in the door. They walked to the kitchen at put the food down on the table.
"Uncle Tim!" came James' excited cry as he ran towards Tim.
"Hey buddy! How's it going?"
"Uncle Tim, why is mommy crying?" Tim glanced over at Kate and picked James up. "Mommy's just having a bad day. How about we go pick out a funny movie to cheer her up?"
"Yeah!" James yelled as Tim carried him back to the living room.
Kate stood in the kitchen with tears streaming down her face.
"I am so sorry Kate."
"It's not your fault Abby. Like Tim said, I'm just having a bad day." She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. She gave Abby a weak smile. "So how are you feeling?" Kate tried to change the subject.
Abby smiled and patted her ever-growing stomach. "Everything's going great. A few more weeks to go."
Kate nodded and started tearing up again. "Oh Kate, please don't cry." Abby gave Kate an awkward hug, her stomach getting in the way. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here Kate. You can call me anytime."
Kate stepped back and rubbed her eyes. "Thanks Abbs."
"Mommy! Mommy!" James and Sasha ran towards Kate.
James jumped up and down with a DVD in his hand. "We picked out a funny movie! You have to watch it so you will laugh!"
James took Kate's hand and pulled her towards the living room. "Come on mommy!"
Sasha grabbed Abby's hand. "Come on Aunt Abby! We have to make mommy laugh!" Abby smiled and walked with Sasha.
Kate sat on the couch and the kids climbed up in her lap.
"Movie uncle Tim!" James shouted as he waived the DVD box around.
"Yes sir boss man!" James laughed as Tim saluted him and took the box.
"Hey, who wants pizza?" Abby asked.
The kids started chanting "Pizza, pizza!" as Tim put the movie in.
"I'll get it honey, you sit down with Kate and the kids."
Abby smiled at Tim. "Are you sure?"
"I think I can handle it." He kissed her on the cheek.
Kate felt a pang of jealousy as she watched the two of them. She missed Tony's playful banter so badly.
Abby caught the look on Kate's face out of the corner of her eye. "I'll help, I don't mind."
She gave Tim a look that warned him not to argue with her then they both walked to the kitchen.
"What's up Abbs?"
"I just feel so bad for Kate. I think it upsets her by seeing us so happy. I know that sounds weird."
"No, it makes sense, I just didn't think of it."
After they got everyone settled down with pizza and drinks, they all watched Shrek 2 as they ate. After Shrek, Sasha picked out Finding Nemo. Halfway though the movie, James and Tim fell asleep on the recliner and Sasha fell asleep cuddled up next to Abby. Abby saw Kate go to the kitchen and thought nothing of it until she didn't return. She carefully moved Sasha and stood up. She went to the kitchen to check on Kate.
Abby walked into the kitchen to find Kate sitting at the table sobbing. She quietly walked over and pulled out a chair and sat down.
"I'm sorry if Tim and I made you uncomfortable earlier."
Kate looked at Abby and shook her head. "Oh Abby, don't think that, you guys are fine. It's just that no matter what I do, something always reminds me of the things I miss about Tony."
"Want to talk?" Kate didn't answer her and Abby noticed the letter she had been writing. She knew Kate was still trying to get him to come back. Kate saw her glance at the letter.
"I'm not giving up on him Abby."
Abby sighed and reached over to put her hand on Kate's forearm. "Kate, this isn't easy for me to say. He's been gone for over a month now and..."
"Don't you dare say he's not coming back! I don't want to hear it!"
"Kate, believe me, I don't want to cause you any more pain, but you need to face reality. You need to get yourself together. You have two beautiful children in there who love you very much and need you. They want their mommy back. Truthfully we all want you back."
"I can't Abby. It's all my fault."
"Don't you dare think that for one second Kate! Tony was the one who screwed this up. He lost the best thing he ever had in this world when he walked out that door. You don't deserve what he did to you. You're better off without him."
"How can you say that Abby? Have you ever had somebody you love more than life itself just up and leave you? Do you know how bad it hurts? What would you do if Tim picked up and walked away from you tomorrow?"
Abby sat quietly and shook her head slightly; she knew Kate had a point.
"I've learned the true meaning of the phrase broken heart. I spend all of my time wondering what I did that was so wrong. I feel like dirt Abby. I'm just ready to give it all up." Kate started sobbing again and Abby gently squeezed her arm.
"Stop it Kate, you're starting to scare me. You can't give up. Those kids need you. You need to stop tormenting yourself; you are going to go crazy. You are a strong woman Kate. You need to get out of this house. Come back to work, even if it's only part time. I know Gibbs will work things out for you. He won't openly admit it, but he really misses you. We all do. You know we are here for you guys. We'll help out anywhere we can."
Kate shook her head. "I don't know Abby. Even if I could get myself together enough to come back, I couldn't face coming to work every day and seeing him."
Abby gave her a strange look.
"What?"
"Tony quit NCIS Kate."
"When?"
"Right after he left you."
"What happened?"
"Well let's see. Gibbs hauled his ass into an interrogation room and read him the riot act after he had the nerve to show up the next day. After that, Tim told him in rather explicit terms just what kind of person he really was. I just flat out refused to acknowledge his presence. Ducky told him off in his own unique way and even Palmer called him a heartless bastard."
Kate actually laughed lightly. "Palmer said that?"
Abby smiled. "Right to his face." She patted Kate's arm. "Think about it. We would really love to have you back. I know someone who is a fantastic babysitter too. I can arrange something with her." Abby gave Kate's arm a final squeeze and stood up from the table. "I'll get Tim to carry the kids up to bed for you."
Abby walked towards the living room and smiled when she heard Kate tearing up the letter she had written to Tony. She had a feeling Kate was going to be just fine.
Monday morning, Kate walked into NCIS feeling happier than she had in over a month. Warm smiles and the friendly faces of her extended family greeted her. Everyone was happy to see Kate making progress in getting her life back together. Tim gave her a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek as he welcomed her back. Gibbs smiled at her from his desk and gave her a wink. She smiled back at him as she sat down at her desk.
She briefly faltered when she looked over at Tony's old desk then took a deep breath and made herself a promise that she was going to move on and put her life back in order.
Story Notes:
I hate the Dixie Chicks, that's what makes this fic so odd for me...
Author's Chapter Notes:
Written to the Dixie Chicks song "You Were Mine". Just a sad TATE moment.
Chapter End Notes:
I hate the Dixie Chicks, that's what makes this fic so odd for me...