Chapter seventeen
It was nearing seven and Tony came wandering in from the kitchen.
“You want something to eat?”
“Yeah, but I’d like a shower first. Wanna give me a hand?”
“Always,” Tony grinned as he took Gibbs outstretched arm. The walk upstairs was slow; it was still difficult to work the stairs with only one good leg. He’d gotten better, but an unexpressed fear of taking a tumble kept it slow. The older man noticed Tony looking at him, a slightly worried expression flickering over his face. He knew why. It had been a quiet afternoon, Gibbs had spent much of it thinking about Shepard and her betrayal. The whole thing still seemed surreal, but he had to accept the fact she’d risked his life for her own personal benefit.
But that wasn’t what had been foremost on his mind. Tony was still young. He could have a family of his own, a couple of kids running around. Did Tony know what he was letting himself in for? The idea of having to give up what they had, to relinquish a future with Tony made him ache inside. Gibbs didn’t know if he could live without him. Still, he had to make sure Tony had thought this through.
Not exactly a third date topic, he thought wryly, but he had to know now, not a year down the line. It hadn’t even been a week and he knew he was in too deep already. As much as he dreaded this conversation, it had to be done. He shook it off, focusing on the last few steps. They reached the top of the stairs and Tony went ahead to turn on the shower, adjusting the temperature. Not as hot as Tony preferred, but they wanted the hot water to last longer. Things took a little more time in the shower, with Gibbs’ injured leg.
Once inside the warm bathroom, he discarded his robe, and Tony quickly covered up his wound. His leg looked even less swollen now and it was not as sore as it had been. The progress helped his mood, and he was smiling as he ducked into the shower, sitting down on the stool, flinging the crutches to one side.
“You happy?” Tony looked at him curiously, probably still trying to figure out what was up with him today. Gibbs hated to have made him feel this way, but it had to wait until after the shower.
“You make me happy,” Gibbs smiled, running a hand over the man in front of him. The way Tony lit up made his stomach flip. ‘Oh, I have it bad…’ he sighed, knowing he wouldn’t want it any other way. He just prayed the conversation he was saving for later would turn out as he wanted.
Reaching around Gibbs, Tony grabbed the bottle of shampoo he’d brought. After pouring a small amount into his hands, he went on to gently massage Gibbs’ scalp. It felt so good Gibbs couldn’t contain a quiet moan as strong fingers worked their magic. Closing his eyes, he let him self unwind, relaxing as he focused on Tony’s hands.
“My leg feels a bit better,” he declared. “I have an appointment with Dr North on Monday, to have the staples out.”
“Well, it looks much better. No infection, the swelling’s down. You should be able to put some weight on it next week, ease back into it. You planning on going back to the office soon?” Tony rinsed out the shampoo and lathered up a washcloth.
“No,” came the prompt answer, surprising them both.
“Really?”
“I don’t want you to go in either,” Gibbs said. “We have two weeks, and we’re gonna use it. We need a few days to decide what to do, anyway. Besides, I told Dr North I’d do what was best for my leg, and, just for this once, I’m following orders.”
“Just this once, huh…Yeah, that sounds about right, Jethro.”
Gibbs couldn’t reach his head, so he settled for smacking Tony’s ass.
“Hey!” Tony yelped, jumping back.
“Get your ass back here,” Gibbs ordered, his hands itching to touch those perfect globes now pressed against the shower wall.
“Ask nicely…” Tony purred, a smile playing around his lips.
Gibbs growled, reached out and yanked Tony into his arms. “I said, get your ass over here,” he repeated, holding him close. It was a bit awkward, him being perched on a stool, and Tony towering a bit above him. But that only meant that the good stuff was right where he wanted it. He leaned over, and licked Tony’s cock from tip to root.
Looking up at Tony, he saw heat flaring in his eyes. “You sure?“ Tony asked. To answer his lover’s question, he sucked the tip of Tony’s cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the sensitive head before licking his way down the shaft. Gibbs took more of Tony’s cock into his mouth, sucking harder as his head bobbed up and down. He used one hand to gently massage lightly furry balls, while the other twisted around the shaft as he slowly ran his hand up and down Tony’s cock. Faint tremors ran through Tony’s body, telling Gibbs he was getting closer to coming. Picking up the speed, he let his tongue swirl around and around the tip of his cock before swallowing him whole. Arching into Gibbs, Tony’s cry echoed through the bathroom as he came, hot and hard. Slumping against the wall, Tony slid down on the floor, as his knees seemed to buckle under him.
“Jesus…” Tony hissed as he tried to regain some semblance of composure. Failing miserably, he just sat there, chuckling. “You trying to kill me, boss?”
“Not yet,” he grinned. “Hand me my crutches, will ya?”
“Sure.” Tony scrambled to his feet and turned off the rapidly cooling water before getting towels for them both. They dried off, getting ready to go back downstairs.
Hanging up his towel, Gibbs took a moment to drink in the sight of the man in front of him. Well-defined muscles played under lightly tanned smooth skin as he dried off. Tony bent over to retrieve his pants and the sight left Gibbs with a dry mouth. He had to look away, but not before Tony caught him at it.
“See something you like, Marine?” He leaned down again, deliberately taking his time as he gathered up his clothes.
“Bastard,” Gibbs growled, as he leaned against the bathroom sink for support.
“But you still love me,” Tony teased.
“Yeah, I do,” Gibbs said, suddenly feeling slightly apprehensive about the talk he needed to have.
“What?”
Tony had straightened up, and looked at him, a somber expression on his face.
“C’mere, “ Gibbs said, reaching out to drag him close, “I need to lie down. Join me?”
“Sure,” Tony replied, still looking a bit worried.
They made their way along the hallway leading into Gibbs’ master bedroom, Tony walking slightly behind him. He still has my six, Gibbs realized, deliberately ignoring how happy that notion made him.
Lying down, Gibbs turned to look at his lover, who was stretched out beside him, propped up on one arm as Tony studied him intently.
“What’s up, Jethro? You gonna tell me?”
“Have you thought this through, Tony? You and me, I mean.”
“I know I want you, that I love you, if that’s what you’re thinking of?”
“No, it’s not. Listen, Tony, I want to share my life with you, but have you given any thought as to what you're giving up?”
“Like what? Women…NCIS…what?”
“I’m not asking you to give up your career, Tony. As for women, well, I don’t share, DiNozzo,” he smiled.
“No, I’m thinking of…” he trailed off, not quite sure how to do this.
“Kids?”
Startled, Gibbs looked up at his second in command. “Yeah, kids, Tony. You ever wanted any of your own?”
“This is what had you worried all day?” Tony asked, affection shining through in his eyes.
“I just need to make sure you know what you’re in for, Tony. We’ll have to hide our relationship in public, at least for now. There are so many things I can’t give you, and a family is one of them.”
“You’ve already given me all I need, Jethro. You guys are my family in every way but one. As for kids, I can ask you the same thing. You want kids? Cause I gotta tell ya, going through labor’s gonna be a bitch…”
Gibbs couldn’t help laughing.
Tony turned serious. “You’ve been married three times since Shannon, you never wanted children again?”
It was a calculated risk to bring up Shannon and Kelly, but if they were to make this work, they had to be able to talk about them.
Gibbs turned onto his back, but held his gaze. “Loosing a child changes you, Tony. The pain’s always there, even though in time it fades into the background. I’ll always grieve for Kelly, for the life she never had. But, I try to remember the good stuff, too. The little things, like playing in the backyard, the way she hugged me when I came home from a tour.”
Tony hesitated briefly before reaching out and resting his hand on Gibbs, his fingers drawing soothing circles across his chest as he listened to the older man talk.
“The thing is, Tony, I don’t think I can let you go, even if I tried.” Gibbs held the hand over his chest tightly, “I need to make sure…” he repeated, looking into those green eyes holding his steady.
“I have thought it through, Jethro. A long, long time ago. When I realized I liked men, this was one of the things I had to consider. Would kids have to be an important part of my life, would I need kids of my own?”
He sat up and snagged the afghan lying at the bottom of the bed. Giving it a shake, he tucked them both in, snuggling closer to Gibbs.
“And the answer has always been no.”
Gibbs kept running his fingers through Tony’s hair, still slightly damp to the touch.
“Why? Is it because of your family?”
“It might be,” Tony admitted, “but not just that. Being estranged from my family taught me that you don’t have to be related by blood to play a difference in somebody’s life. If I wish, I can play an important role for somebody, be a big brother, or something.”
Tony sounded as serious and sincere as Gibbs had every heard him. His mind at rest, he let the subject drop, focusing again on the here and now.
“Dinner?”
Tony lifted his head and looked at him. “We’re good?”
“Yeah, we’re good, Tony. I had to make sure.”
He kissed him lightly and got out of bed. A pair of sweats was thrown on the bed and he managed to wiggle into them, grateful that Tony let him have a go on his own first. He still hated being dependent, although Tony had made the whole ordeal much easier than it could have been. Ducky was right. He needed someone like Tony with him, to bring a bit of joy and playfulness into his life.
They made their way back downstairs and Tony disappeared into the kitchen to prepare dinner. Gibbs hovered in the hall a bit, uncertain as to what he should do in the meantime.
“Wanna give me a hand?” Tony popped his head out the kitchen door.
“Need me to bash something with my crutches?”
“No, I’m saving that option for later. Ziva might have another revelation up her sleeve. Then, you can use that on anyone you chose. As long as it’s Shepard’s head.”
Before Gibbs had a chance to reply, Tony was gone, back to the chopping board if the sounds emanating from the kitchen were anything to go by.
“What do you want me to do?”
Tony handed him a knife and pointed to a whole array of vegetables scattered around a chopping board on the table.
“Slice and dice,” he ordered. “I’m making spaghetti sauce. The recipe’s an Anthony DiNozzo original.”
“Is that so? Not handed down then, through generations of hardworking DiNozzo women?”
“Why hardworking? Are you implying that the DiNozzo men are high maintenance?” Tony cocked an eyebrow as green eyes glittered mischievously.
“Well, that remains to be seen. But I gotta warn ya, Tony, the Gibbs’ are no walk in the park, either.”
“Ya think?!” Tony laughed, “Slide and dice, Marine, I’m hungry.”
******
Author's Chapter Notes:
Tony and Gibbs have a heart to heart.
Chapter End Notes:
Thank you all for reading :)
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