Chapter twenty-one
Hanging up his towel, Tony wiped the glass clean and checked his own reflection in the mirror. He remembered how he’d looked before he hooked up with Gibbs. Depressed. Lost. And now? There was a confidence there that had been lacking for a while. Not on the outside, for sure, he thought wryly, but he hadn’t felt it, not really.
He knew he wouldn’t feel like this forever. Being involved with your male boss, a self-proclaimed bastard, had challenges of its own There was no way of knowing how he’d react to being yelled to at work, and made love to at home. Shaking it off, he pulled on a pair of jeans, before rooting through his bag, searching in vain for a clean sweater.
Tony padded into the bedroom and pulled on one Gibbs had worn the night before. The scent of the other man still lingered, and Tony took a long, deep breath before he put it on. He returned to the bathroom and started a load of whites before heading for the kitchen.
Something smelled wonderful. Gibbs had made breakfast, and was sitting at the table holding a steamy cup of coffee in his hands. He had a dreamy expression on his face as he savored the tantalizing aromas emanating from his mug. Licking his lips, he took his first sip of coffee in a couple of weeks.
The small moans of pleasure coming from Gibbs reminded Tony of their lovemaking. Chuckling, he sat down on the opposite side of the table.
“Should I be jealous?” he smiled.
“Hmm?” Gibbs was clearly not paying attention.
“You’re practically wooing that cup of coffee,” he laughed, unable to resist teasing Gibbs a little.
“This is so good, Tony,” he murmured. “Dark French roast…”
Shaking his head, Tony helped himself to the scrambled eggs Gibbs had prepared.
Cleaning up after breakfast they ventured into the living room. The plan was to spend the day going over the files Abby had dropped off the day before. Tony had to admit he was curious as to what she might have found. There were things in his life he didn’t want to share with just anybody, much less Jenny Shepard.
******
A printout of a few color photos caught Tony’s attention as he was browsing through a couple of the files. He pulled them out of the plastic folder and glanced at the top page.
“What’s that?” Gibbs asked as he eyed Tony from across the table.
“Pictures of a man I don’t quite recognize.” Tony removed the first picture, preparing to look through the stack.
“What the hell?” he gasped, paling rapidly as he quickly leafed through the rest of the photos, becoming more agitated by the second.
“What?” Gibbs moved to pick one up when Tony snatched them away.
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I need to tell you before you see them,” he croaked, his voice sounding foreign, somehow not belonging to him.
“I need some air. Would you mind if we took a drive?”
“Sure,” Gibbs answered, wondering what on earth was going on. Judging by the look on Tony’s face; nothing good. He grabbed a sweater from the back of his chair and slowly followed Tony outside. The younger man was already in the car, another indicator that something was wrong. Normally he would have helped Gibbs, made sure he was okay.
“You ok to drive?” Gibbs eyed Tony sceptically. He was staring into space, revisiting a long forgotten memory.
He shook his head, “Yeah, sorry…I’m…uh…fine.”
Gibbs nodded, not wanting to give him any orders. They were threading a fine line here, being both lovers and working together. He wanted this relationship to be on equal terms, not intending to be the boss both at home and at the office.
So he stayed silent, wondering where this was going. All he wanted to do was snatch those pictures Tony was still holding out of his hand, unravel the mystery right now. But he held himself in check, knowing Tony needed to set the pace himself.
Tony pulled up at a secluded spot overlooking a park near Gibbs’ house. A couple of kids were playing football on the lawn, reminding him of why they were here. Tony drew in a shaky breath as he tried to get his breathing under control.
“I didn’t know these pictures existed,” Tony began. “I don’t know why or how. They were taken on at least three different occasions, which makes this even more scary.”
He glanced out the window as a loud cheer reached them from the other side of the lawn. A small smile played around his lips before he turned serious again.
“Senior year at high school I informed my father I did not want to go to business school and follow in his footsteps. He was absolutely livid, threatening to disinherit me if I didn’t to as I was told.”
Gibbs knew this part of the story. Tony had told the team tidbits over the years, sometimes facing the ridicule of the others. By connecting the dots, watching the man over the years, Gibbs knew he weren’t close to his family, but he had a feeling he was opening another chapter in “The Tony DiNozzo Story.”
“The only one who supported me was Coach. He encouraged me to major in sports; he thought I had what it took to make it.” He paused, fingering the pictures in his lap.
“What happened,” Gibbs asked, urging Tony gently on.
“I was so alone back then, Jethro. My mother had her charities and couldn’t care less about how I felt, and my father was absent most of the time. When he was home, he used every opportunity to tell me what a disappointment I was to the family.” He cast a glance at Gibbs, trying to assess his reaction.
“But this guy, he listened. He was the only one back then who cared enough to find out what I wanted. Except for my uncle Nico, that is, but he died the year after.”
Handing Gibbs a picture, he could finally see what was on it. A naked Tony was lying on the floor, curled up on front of a bench in a fetal position. He looked so utterly miserable Gibbs’ heart ached.
“This was taken one night when my dad was really particularly vicious, even for him. I was so low. I went back to the gym, needing to work off some steam, and Coach Pirelli was there. He found me crying in the locker room.”
He could see Tony’s hands were shaking lightly as he handed him the second picture. A man in his thirties had entered the room. His hair looked wet, like he’d just stepped out of the shower, or finished a workout. The pictures were a series, each one taken a few moments apart. He was momentarily reminded of Kelly, the cartoons she used to make, using a post-it pad.
The pictures showed Tony in his coach’s arms, crying his heart out. The other man seemed to be comforting him, running his arms up and down Tony’s back. Gibbs had only one thought in his head; who had taken these pictures and why?
Gibbs could feel Tony tense up again.
“Hey,” he said, running his hand through Tony’s hair. ”It’s okay. I don’t care if you had an affair with your coach or if there are pictures of that.”
“What? No…we didn’t have an affair. Coach was more like a father to me, way more than mine ever was. Especially around that time.” He hesitated again.
“Coach Pirelli left shortly after. I never saw him again after that night. They said he moved out west, but I don’t know really what happened to him. My dad kicked me out of home a couple of weeks later.”
“Later that night was the first time I had sex with another guy. James. He was on the track and field team, great guy. He came into the locker room after Coach left. I was in the shower, trying to calm down. And you know what calms me down, Jethro,” he grinned, something of the old Tony shining through.
“I was holding my dick in my hand, jerking off when he walked in on me. I couldn’t stop, I was way beyond caring. He went down on me and sucked me off, right there in the shower.”
Tony tossed a series of pictures in Gibbs’ lap.
“Christ,” Gibbs swore, as he looked at the scene before him.
“Who the hell took these pictures, Tony?”
“Who do you fucking think!?” Tony exploded, before hurling himself out of the car. He started walking away from the car, then stopped.
Gibbs eased out of the car, leaning against it for support.
“Tony, please come back. He can’t hurt you anymore, you can stop running now.”
“Somewhere, deep down, I still love him. And I want him to love me, Jethro. I…” He broke off.
“I know you do, Tony. But you’re not alone anymore. I’ve got you…I love you.”
He reached out for the other man, letting out an inaudible sigh of relief when Tony relented and allowed Gibbs to draw him close.
“Why would he do this, Gibbs? Why did he give them to Shepard? Does he hate me that much? Am I so worthless to him that he goes out of his way to ruin my career?”
“This can’t hurt you, Tony,” Gibbs said, giving assurances he didn’t quite feel. This was not something Shepard could fire him over, but it could cause Tony great embarrassment, and make his job more difficult. Maybe that was why she had obtained them, wanting to force Tony to resign on his own accord. Hell, no, not on his watch, Gibbs swore, tightening his hold on the younger man.
“Let’s go home, Tony, think this through.”
Gibbs knew it would be virtually impossible to trace a private detective DiNozzo Sr. might have used twenty years ago. And there was no point. They knew Jenny had the pictures; they would be prepared for whatever she had in store. He hoped.
Author's Chapter Notes:
The contents of Shepard's file is revealed.
Chapter End Notes:
I am sorry about the late update, work caught up with me.
A huge thanks to Kim for giving me a peak inside Shepard's file. You're the best :)
Hilde
A huge thanks to Kim for giving me a peak inside Shepard's file. You're the best :)
Hilde