Tony was in Abby's lab discussing the results with her on a case they were working. It had been a few weeks since the 'incident' with Gibbs and although they were both professional, there was always something in the air when they were together that Tony couldn't quite put his finger on, Gibbs was more grouchy when dealing with Tony and Tony always felt like he had to be careful what to say because the smallest thing could set him off. "What you got, Abs?" Tony asked, doing his best imitation of Gibbs, or at least, how Gibbs used to sound around him before the 'incident'. Abby grinned, "You’ve been practicing, haven't you?" she asked.
"Sure, have," Tony replied, smiling. "I even have a Caf-Pow for you!"
"Way to go, Tony!" Abby said, talking the Caf-Pow and sucking on the straw.
"You know what's up with bossman? He's been extra grouchy these past few weeks."
"No idea at all," Tony lied. "So, what do ya got?"
"Well,” Abby started, she stopped when she realised that Gibbs had been listening to their whole conversation and was sat in Ducky's lab watching them both on the video link. "Hi, Gibbs," she said, calm and cool, as if nothing had happened. "What's up, bossman?"
Gibbs decided against snapping at her for her comment, considering that she already suspected something to be wrong. "DiNozzo." He barked instead. "I've been informed that I have to get a medical check. You're in charge until I'm back." and with that he cut the connection, neither wanting to hear or see the younger man any longer right now.
"Woah, he's pissed at you for some reason," Abby commented, "What did ya do?"
"I wish I knew, Abs,." Tony replied, but that was only half the truth, he knew Gibbs was still angry about the whole 'incident' a few weeks back, but he seemed to be angry at Tony for something else. He made a conscious decision that this needed to stop before someone other than Abby worked out there was more going on than the two agents were sharing, so he decided to go and see Gibbs that night after work.
He half listened as Abby went on to explain what she'd found regarding the case and then headed up to the bullpen when McGee and Ziva were both following leads. "Gibbs has gone for a medical check," he announced from his desk. "What have you both found out?"
"Is he okay?" Ziva asked.
"I assume it's just a routine check," Tony told her.
"Well, I know he's been feeling sick," McGee put in, "I've heard him vomiting in the men's room a couple of times."
"Oh, then I guess it's not just routine," Tony replied, hurt that the boss hadn't shared that with him.
Gibbs was pissed when he sat in the doctor's office, waiting. Apparently someone had heard him vomiting so they had told on him and Ducky had made an appointment without telling him.
"Agent Gibbs." The doctor said as she sat behind her desk. Gibbs barely went to a doctor so usually it was NCIS sending him to Dr. Miller.
"Could we get this over with?" Gibbs asked annoyed.
"Sure." She held out a cup to him. "That's for a urine sample and when you're done I'm taking blood samples. I've been told you were sick, Agent Gibbs, so don't try to tell me otherwise." She said and grinned a little. Gibbs sighed, took the cup and left for the attached bathroom.
Tony listened to McGee explain to him how he'd found the computer trail that led them to their suspect, but his mind was on Gibbs. If McGee had been telling the truth then he'd been actually sick for a while and with Gibbs' history of not going to a doctor unless it was serious Tony believed it must be something bad. Maybe that was why he'd been lashing out at Tony, because he was sick AND because of what had happened the other week after Jenny's funeral. "Look, I don't care how you did it, McGee, just tell me we can nail this dirtbag!" Tony interrupted exasperated.
"I'm awaiting the warrant from Agent Lee now, Tony," McGee replied
"Great, call me when it comes through and we'll go grab him," Tony said, pleased to have something else to focus on than Gibbs' apparent medical condition. At least it would give him a starting point when he confronted Gibbs later that night.
Gibbs stormed into the bullpen, behind his desk. He basically threw his gun into the drawer and then slammed it shut, before he slumped into his chair, rubbing his eyes.
Tony looked up as Gibbs slammed his drawer shut. Okay, maybe now wasn't the best time to tell him they had a suspect down in interrogation that was ready whenever he was, but he had to tell him sometime. "Uh, boss?" he ventured.
"What, DiNozzo?" Gibbs snapped.
"Suspect in the Berry case is in interrogation, whenever you're ready," Tony said, wishing he could be anywhere than where he was.
Gibbs looked at his computer, though he didn't see it. After today he couldn't think he'd be able to concentrate on breaking the guy. And it was important. "DiNozzo, do the interrogation." He said resigned. "I'm going home." He more whispered to himself than actually saying it out loud. He took his stuff and left.
"Wow," Tony said, when Gibbs had left, to no one in particular. He headed down to interrogation where McGee and Ziva were watching the suspect.
"Where's Gibbs?" McGee asked
"He went home," Tony told him.
"Home? Well, it must not have gone well at the doctor's office, did he tell you what was wrong?" Ziva said.
"Nope, he just told me to do the interrogation, then grabbed his gun and things and said he was going home. So, I guess that's it, really," Tony explained, but his mind was elsewhere, what could be so bad that Gibbs wouldn't even do an interrogation and then went home? If anything, it made him more resigned to get to the bottom of it later that night. "We ready to do this?" he asked, changing the subject,
"Whenever you are, Tony," Ziva said, before turning back to watch Petty Officer Fulton through the two way mirror. Taking a deep breath, Tony left the observation room and headed into interrogation. At least this would be practice for later on when he spoke to Gibbs.
Gibbs entered his kitchen and then didn't know what to do. He couldn't remember feeling this hopeless before. He looked around the kitchen, then mentally walked through the house, oh hell, this was so wrong on a whole new level.
With the Berry case closed, Tony finally felt that he could leave the office and head over to find out what was bothering Gibbs. He left the Navy Yard and pointed his car in the direction of Gibbs' place, he wasn't sure how he would broach the subject, but he was sure that when he got there, he'd find the words he needed.
Before long he was at Gibbs' house, he parked the car, got out and headed to the front door. Although he knew that Gibbs rarely locked his front door, he thought it polite to at least knock, the door swung open within minutes and in front of him stood Gibbs, who looked like he was ready to kill someone, Tony hoped he didn't become the target. "Are you okay, boss?" he asked, hoping to defuse the situation with words rather than violence.
Gibbs went through his options. He could slam the door in Tony's face. However, that would have bad results, he was sure of it. He could lie, but that wouldn't work. So he just settled with a sigh and a simple "no."
He walked back into the house and sat down on the couch, rubbing his eyes again and taking a deep breath, staring at the ceiling. Should he tell Tony? Or rather, how much should he tell Tony?
Tony followed Gibbs into the house and sat down on the chair opposite the couch, staring at his boss, something was really wrong and he couldn't work out what it was. "How did it go at the doctors?" Tony finally asked, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two men.
Gibbs snorted. "Well, that depends. I do know why I was throwing up lately..."
"Yeah, McGee mentioned that," Tony said. He leant forward and leaned across the gap between them to put his hand on Gibbs' knee. "Is it serious?"
"Yeah, it is." Gibbs said without looking at Tony.
Tony squeezed Gibbs' knee and sighed, he'd thought as much. "Is there anything I can do? Go with you to hospital visits? I'll do whatever you need me to," Tony said, trying to sound supportive. A list of things that could be wrong with Gibbs went through his head; Cancer, heart problems and a brain tumour were among the list. "Are you going to be okay?"
"Well, as long as there are no complications I should be alright. I just wasn’t exactly prepared to become a parent..." Gibbs said, going for frontal when he couldn't figure out how else to tell Tony.
"Complications? I'll do whatever you need me to do, boss, just promise me you'll fight it," Tony soothed, not really paying attention to what Gibbs was saying. Then it hit him. "Wait...parent? You're...you're....you're PREGANT?" he stammered. "How the hell did that happen? Who's the father or mother or whatever?"
Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Well, if there was a mother, I wouldn't be the one vomiting, right? And how did it happen? I think you know how it happened. Considering that you were there." Gibbs said angrily and pushed himself off the couch. He wanted to drink a bourbon, or a coffee, but couldn't.
"I was there..." Tony started, confused. Then, it dawned on him. "Wait, you're saying it's MY baby?!"
"You're the only guy I've slept with in like three years. So, as long as no one sneaked into my bedroom and inserted sperm into me, yeah, you're going to be a father. Congratulations." Gibbs said, sarcasm dripping from every word.
"You mean, you're keeping the baby?" Tony asked, incredulously. "Don't *I* get a say in this? I am, after all the father."
Gibbs frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, go ahead, say what you have to say."
"I'm not ready for a baby, Gibbs. Especially one made from a big mistake like the one night stand. If I ever have kids, I want it to be in a loving relationship where both parties are happy to bring a child into the world. And anyway, you never told me you could get pregnant, which is something you ought to have shared with me BEFORE we slept together. If I'd known that I would've used protection, because it was just a ship in the night kinda thing. We were both drunk, and yeah, we both wanted it at the time, but I don't want to be stuck in a relationship with you, with my boss just because I happened to knock you up. Besides, how can I be sure it's mine, you could've gotten drunk and slept with someone else, seeing as how you were the one to initiate what happened between us! For all I know you do that all the bloody time! I'll contribute towards an abortion, if you're worried about money, but I will not support you through a pregnancy, I'm sorry, I just can't do that. What happened between us was a mistake, end of story and that, baby inside of you is just a mistake and shouldn't be brought into the world when one of its father's will resent it for forcing them into a relationship with the other one of its fathers," Tony ranted.
"Get out." Gibbs gritted through his teeth. No way in hell he was going to abort, even though the kid wasn't planned.
"I have a say in this, Gibbs, you can't just shut me out!" Tony said, "we should talk through your options!"
"Options? If you don't want the child, fine, suit yourself. I'm not going to have an abortion. End of discussion. I'm going to have this baby, with or without you." Gibbs yelled.
"What about what I want?" Tony yelled back. "I have rights too!"
"Jesus, if you don't want to be a part of the child's life, fine with me." Gibbs replied. "It'll be much easier to raise without your bad habits anyway. And if you're afraid I want money, I don't."
"You can't just have my baby and expect me to be okay with that! My bad habits? What about YOU? Who works and works and is practically married to their job! The kid would be better off dead than living with you!" Tony snapped, and instantly regretted it when he saw the look on Gibbs' face
Gibbs stared at Tony for a long moment. He truly had never been hurt like this before. He turned away from Tony and left the living room, going into the basement.
Tony thought about following Gibbs but decided against it, he'd said the wrong thing and he'd hurt Gibbs, something he hadn't wanted to do but things said in anger could never be taken back. Tony found a piece of paper and a pen and wrote "Gibbs, I hope you'll think about what I've said. I don't want this child, I'm not ready and I'm sorry about saying the child would be better off dead, I know that's not true and think you would make an excellent father, I just don't think this is the time for it. Call me when you've calmed down and we can talk some more, I'm sorry, Tony." He placed it on the living room coffee table and saw himself out
Gibbs heard the front door fall shut and ran upstairs. Yanking the door open he called: "Tony! Get back in here! We weren't finished." He could have given the younger man a dress down right there but he didn't need the whole neighbourhood to know.
Tony heard Gibbs call out to him and thought about pretending he hadn't heard him, but then decided this was too serious a topic to just leave it. He turned around and headed back into Gibbs' house, before Gibbs could speak he said, "I'm sorry about that comment, I think you'll make a wonderful father, I just don't think this is the right time for it."
"You said a lot of things tonight that really hurt me." Gibbs said and didn't care that his voice wasn't as strong. "But you have to understand that I will not have an abortion. It's not who I am."
"And you have to understand that I won't be forced into a relationship just because you make the selfish decision to bring up a child made from a one night stand," Tony replied, feeling his anger rise again. Why was Gibbs being so stubborn about this?
"I never asked you to raise the kid with me, did I?" Gibbs asked angrily.
"No, you didn't, but if you have that child," Tony started, waving a hand at Gibbs' stomach where their child was already growing, "you're forcing me to do the honourable thing and stick with you."
"I'm not forcing you to do anything!" Gibbs said getting frustrated.
"Fine. What are you going to tell everyone? That I knocked you up and abandoned you? What's that going to do to my work life?" Tony snapped. "Everyone will look at you as the victim, and me as the big, bad, Tony who didn't support his child. I'll have to leave NCIS!"
Gibbs rubbed his eyes, noticing that he was doing that a lot. "First of all, Tony, I already recommended you for a promotion. I don't know if you'll get one, but I did. Second of all, if you decide that you don't want to do this with me, I'd tell them that it was a stupid one night stand and that I don't even know the father's name."
Tony was stunned, Gibbs had recommended him for a promotion? When had this happened? "Fine, then do what you want, you obviously care so little about me that you're going to do what you want anyway, so why bother telling me?"
"Hell, Tony..." Gibbs muttered, "I really did expect a lot, but not this."
"A lot of what?" Tony asked. "You expected me to be happy that a disastrous mistake I made, sleeping with you after Jenny's funeral, turned into a baby? It was a mistake, Gibbs, one you've been punishing me for since it happened, how on earth would you think this would please me?!"
"I didn't. But I didn't expect you to go on and on, throwing into my face what a big mistake it was and that you don't want the baby and what a horrible father I'd be." Gibbs knew his voice was cracking but he didn't care. "I didn't expect you to jump into my arms and tell me how happy you are but...I was hoping you'd be a little bit supportive. I didn't know I can get pregnant, because frankly, I had never been tested. It wasn't necessary because you've been the first to...do that."
For the second time that night, Tony was stunned. He'd been Gibbs' first? He could see that Gibbs' mask was breaking and that he was really upset about the fact that Tony didn't want the baby. Tony sighed. "It's been a shock, Gibbs. I wasn't expecting this at all, I would've used protection if I'd been sober enough to realise you could get pregnant, but everything I've said tonight has been a gut reaction. Let me sleep on it and I'll make a decision when I've had more time to think about it."
Gibbs nodded. "Fine, whatever." He muttered, feeling once more helpless as he looked around the living room for something to do. "I suppose I should go," Tony said. He thought about it for a few moments and then leaned forward and pulled Gibbs into a hug. "We'll get through this somehow," he told him, "I just don't have all the answers yet."
Gibbs couldn't really return the hug, but relished every second of it. "I won't be in tomorrow, either." He said instead. "I took a sick day."
"Okay, boss," Tony replied, relieved that he wouldn't have to face Gibbs for a few days. He couldn't see himself changing how he felt and what he'd already voiced, but he felt that he had to pretend, for Gibbs' sake that he was really going to think about what he'd been told.
"I think you should really go now." Gibbs said because he knew there was only so long he could hold on to his self control, and if Tony didn't leave he'd do something he might regret.
"Okay," Ton said, quietly. He let go of Gibbs and turned to leave. "I'll call you when I've made my decision." Gibbs nodded and Tony quietly shut the door on his way out. He needed to talk to someone impartial to see whether he was being unfair about the whole situation, but he couldn't think of anyone to call. Ziva would put two and two together and come up with the real situation, Probie might be a good one to try, but he'd tell Abby who would know instantly who Tony was talking about and he had no other family or friends close by that he could talk to about things like this, In fact, even if his family was close by, he wouldn't tell them because they just wouldn't understand and they'd tell him to do the right thing and marry the girl - because there was no way in hell he was telling anyone that he'd knocked up a guy, that would lead to other questions he just didn't want to answer. So, with one last look at Gibbs, stood in the doorway of his home, he started the car and headed home.
Author's Chapter Notes:
See Chapter 1